#ms carly rae jepsen you truly are a pop icon.

[anderfels]

no offense but i think all my life i never met anybody like you sunrise all the time when i touch you it's like i'm waking up in a euphoria my insecurities are things i never was i was a sad, sad song before we met but boy your is like a trip it's like a psychedelic switch don't wake me cause im lucid dreamin meditatin on your lips cause baby i'd be satisfied forever with a couple years of this

[friendlycandybong-blog]

Why ‘Signal Is A Bad Song’ is Fake News and Why We Should All Bow Down To Signalsus

The internet has said it, most Once’s have cosigned it, and your mom agrees: Signal is a bad song.

“Signal is a bad song,” you repeat to yourself as you wake up in your bed in the morning.

“The lyrics are cringy,” you think to yourself as you bop to Lalisa’s iconic rap in the not-2NE1 reject; As If It’s Your Last.

“Their voices just aren’t mature enough,” you reason as you watch Hyuna’s Red music video.

All of these things mixed together contribute to making Signal the undisputed anti-bop of 2017 to most kpop fans and pseudo-intellectuals. And the opinions of so many educated BTS stans can’t be incorrect. Right?

Wrong. Wake up and smell the signuel bonae sis. Signal, the Korean language bop of the year was sitting right beneath your nose the entire time. 

Exhibit #1: The Pussy Popping Instrumental

Given that most kpop fans are wordpress critics who enjoy obvious beats complimented by ‘badass’ visuals with all the subtlety of what a kindergartener selling sex and rebellion to five month olds, it’s no surprise that the vast majority lacked the patience and palate required to truly digest all of the goodness Signal is serving up on a thousand dollar caviar tasting platter.

The beginning of the instrumental track slowly winds up like a rollercoaster to Bopsville, USA before a slow pause and drop that leaves you and your delighted eardrums shook. It is then hard bass complimented with the accompanying cheery vocal sample make you feel as though you are on the epicenter of a magnitude 9 earthquake. 

When the earth beneath your feet finally still you open your eyes (and ears) and realize, holy shit. You’re in heaven. JYP and Twice have delivered you to the promise (Twice)land, complete with a bouncy baseline and a beat that literally and figuratively slaps. Just when you think it can’t get any better, the good sis Ms. Synth comes through to visit. 

Then the almighty, the holy, the miracle making Pre-Chorus shines through the white clouds and on to your face. Through this light the Pre-Chorus illuminates your soul and lifts you up to yet another state of being. A Higher state of being. On your way up you notice the sudden but subtle re-entrance of the bouncy baseline and vocal samples that accompanied the rap sections, but gracefully and beautifully mixed amongst the music of Pre-Chorus. Your mind is in such a state of bliss and wonderful that you fail to notice where you have ascended to. 

You have now reached The Chorus. 

Your eyes open and you look around. You’re lying on the ground, the same place you remember being before you were taken to the Twiceland promise land. The earthquake is still happening you realize. Was it all a dream? Did you really die and ascend to the heavens? The land of never-ending upbeat bops? You may never know.

Until the verse and Pre-Chorus come back around, ofc.

Exhibit #2: The Vocals and Vocal Production Pop Off

While all Twice tracks have flawless vocal production, the good sis signal bonae really came through and delivered. Free two-day Amazon Prime shipping is taking notes. UPS is restructuring their whole business plan. Post offices all over the world are shaking. 

The production and layered vocals during the verses, chorus, and ‘du du du du du’ alone are grammy worthy. 

All-Bright-And-Girly-Concepts-Suck-Ass Truthers would tell you that GodTwice’s vocals during this song are immature. And to that I have nothing to say because they’re transparent as hell (I know you children at least have one post-Bubble Pop Hyuna single on your phone. ya’ll ain’t slick) and obviously have never listened to whole song because what the fuck. 

Let’s not forget to mention that the girls’ parts couldn’t have been more perfectly assigned. Sana and Tzuyu? On a chorus? Changed the game. You have this vocal direction to thank for Likeysus. 

Exhibit #3: It Gave Us Twice’s Best Choreo To Date

While the ‘jirrit jirrit’ thing didn’t quite serve TT level viral realness, godnuel bonae still provided us with a cute and more than serviceable choreo complete with hearts and moves during the verses that are, in themselves, catchier than Queen Carly Rae Jepsen’s entire discography (sorry Boy Problems, this Korean Pop Choreo is coming for your house, your car, your husband, and your dog).

In Conclusion

Signal is the single most bastardized kpop release of the past decade and it gave so much more than it got. From excellent production, A1 vocals, and a cute and fun choreo Signal delivered unto the world a transcendent pop masterpiece. On(c)e can even say that it was the Korean Pop single version of Artpop or Bionic; a sound too ahead of it’s time to be properly appreciated at the time of it’s release. 

It sent us all a signuel bonae that, unfortunately, wasn’t received. 

My work here is done.