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mrslittletall · 6 months ago
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How did you come up with the name mrslittletail?
It's MrsLittletall, not tail xD A lot of people make this mistake. Easy. I was reading a Stephen King book and it was set on "Little Tall Island". I always liked that and decided to make it into a name when I started World of Warcraft. So my first character, a dwarven hunter, was called Littletall. Back then I always used Hikari as my internet name but because we went to having all accounts instead of asking a moderator to change our name (yes that was a real thing back in the early 2000s internet), my name was always taken and I was tired of having to add numbers and stuff. Well then... but the Littletall name was always free? So I started to choose it. But here on tumblr it was taken so I added the Mrs in front of it ^^ So now I am Mrs Little Tall online. Or just Little. It kinda stuck.
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acebladespades · 3 years ago
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Can I have 5. Comfort Item with Solaire and Oscar? A modern AU is preferred, but canon is fine as well.
Title: To act like a true knight
Fandom: Dark Souls
Characters: Oscar fo Astora, Solaire of Astora.
Word-Count: 5770
AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34015300
Summary: On a winter's night, Solaire loses his equipment.
Author's note: It is going to be 1k words, I said. It will be a comedy fic, I said. And now... look at this almost 6k angst fest haha. I hope you like it :D
Prompt: Comfort item.
@sicktember
“Look, there’s the idiot.”
“By the sweet tits of Lady Gwynevere, what the farmer said is true!”
“Ah, our favorite buffoon never fails to put a smile on my face.”
“Astora would be a far duller place to live in without him. But...shouldn’t we stop him? That fool will freeze to death at this rate.”
“Ha! Solaire’s head is thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. You’ll get frostbite on your toes and nose before he even considers listening to a word you say. That wouldn’t be very smart of you, would it? Besides, you are already ugly as sin. Frostbite will do no favors to your hideous mug.”
“Shut your hole, bastard. Your features are hardly what I would call carved by the gods themselves. It is a blessing our helmets keep me from gazing at it too often. On second thought, I was wrong. Lord Nito really outdid himself when he made you in his image.”
“Aye, aye, keep talking.”
The two elite knights turned their backs on the frozen field and walked away, laughing and mocking each other. Their minds were too clouded with drink for either of them to notice the presence of a third elite knight nearby.
He had followed them outside.
He had remained quiet as his two fellow knights mocked Solaire, and he continued to do so until the drunk men were once again inside the tavern.
“Pathetic.” Oscar said under his breath before returning his attention to Solaire “All of you.”
Solaire was too far away from him to listen to his derisive mutterings. Even if he had heard him, Oscar doubted Solaire would have dared to say something in return.
Oscar was an elite knight.
Solaire was a lowly upstart, just freshly knighted in the battlefield a few months ago.
As foolish as he was, Solaire was well aware of his place in the world and he acted accordingly.
But he still has much to learn.
“Curses.” Oscar said in resignation, the falling snow starting to form small mounds on the top of his helmet and on his pauldrons.
Yet, when he started walking, he did so towards Solaire and not the rowdy tavern.
I knew I should have stayed out of this. If I catch a cold, you’ll answer for it, Solaire.
The snow and the cold slowed Oscar’s pace. It took him a moment to reach Solaire’s side.
The lower knight failed to notice Oscar at first, too focused on trying to pull some carrots out of the frozen field.
Underneath his helmet, Oscar frowned.
He would not be so easily ignored, especially not by Solaire.
“Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but the ground is frozen. You’ll never manage to harvest these crops.”
Solaire gasped and jolted in surprise. In his shock, he pulled the carrots’ stems too strongly and ripped them from their roots.
Solaire straightened his back and looked at Oscar. His face was hidden behind a thick piece of cloth wrapped around his head and neck, leaving only a small slit between the folds for his eyes.
At least you had the common sense of protecting your face from the cold. Hardly an achievement, but worth mentioning.
“See? What did I tell you?” Oscar pointed at the stems on Solaire’s hand. “It was bound to happen. I don’t know what else you were expecting.”
Solaire looked down at the stems he was holding. Disappointment quickly showed in his eyes.
He let go of the destroyed leaves, ashamed, as if he had been defeated in a duel before his lord and a royal court.
Ridiculous.
Still, Solaire’s regret was genuine. His actions had been foolish and improper of a knight, but his heart had been in the right place. That alone deserved some acknowledgement, even if just a little.
“Well, now you know this little quest of yours was a fool’s errand all along. ” Oscar folded his arms on his chest. More than to look severe and imposing, he did so to keep himself from trembling. How Solaire had endured so many hours out in that sheer cold he couldn’t comprehend. “You should have known better from the start. Don’t forget you are a knight now, Solaire. It’s time you started acting like one.”
“That’s exactly what I’m doing.” Solaire replied harshly.  He dedicated a quick glare to Oscar before grabbing a new bunch of frozen stems and repeating the process. “Now, if you are done talking, please leave. I need to get back to it. The pleasure was all mine, sir.”
Oscar was speechless.
Had Solaire, foolish and gullible Solaire, really talked back to him?
Was he willingly ignoring him?
Had he ordered him to go away?
With his entire body burning with anger, Oscar forgot about the cold simmering in his bones and grabbed Solaire by his forearm. With a violent pull, he forced him to stand up.
“I told you to stop! You are making a fool out of yourself.”
Even more so than usual.
Oscar had to bite his tongue to keep those words from escaping him. They were too cruel. Furious as he was, he wasn’t as heartless as to mock Solaire in that manner.
“Knights do not harvest crops for the farmers, help milkmaids make butter, cut lumber for the blacksmiths or shoe other men’s horses. You looked ridiculous enough when you did all these errands when you were a soldier, but back then, it was only your own reputation you were tainting. Things have changed now. Your actions affect us all, Solaire. A knight’s actions are every knight’s responsibility. Make a fool out of yourself and you make a fool out of us all.”
“I’ve done nothing wrong!” Solaire broke free from Oscar’s grip easily, more easily than Oscar had expected. For a moment, Oscar feared Solaire would retaliate with an attack, but all Solaire did was to glare at him again. “So what if I am a knight? This farmer’s crops will die if they don’t get harvested soon. How will he feed his family if this happens? Did any of this ever cross your mind or that of your friends, or were you three too busy laughing at me? Don’t think I didn't see you. Don't think I didn't hear all you said.”
Shame almost found its way into Oscar’s heart. He fought against it, unwilling to bear the faults of others as his own.
I did nothing wrong. It’s not my duty to speak up for upstart knights. Those who can't defend themselves shouldn’t be knights at all.
“You are wrong.” He said sternly. “They mocked you, but I did not. Bold of you to assume I would waste my breath on you, Solaire. By the lords, knight a peasant and suddenly he grows prideful and defiant. Maybe this too was inevitable. But what else could I have expected from Astora’s biggest buffoon? ”
Oscar had not intended to say the last sentence out loud, but Solaire’s impertinence and stubbornness had depleted his patience.
He had tried to be kind to him, he had genuinely attempted to save Solaire from the cold and from further humiliation, and in return, Solaire had confronted him.
It wasn’t fair.
Without warning, Solaire took a violent step toward Oscar.
Against his will, Oscar took a step back.
They stared at each other, with nothing but the winter winds breaking the silence.
Though the visor of his helmet kept Solaire from noticing, it was Oscar who looked away first.
He had known that insulting Solaire wouldn't be amusing or satisfying, but neither had he expected it to fill his chest with guilt.
“Just leave.” Solaire said under his breath. There was no anger in his voice, only exhaustion.
He turned his back on Oscar and focused once more on the frozen crops.
Soon, it was as if he had forgotten about Oscar’s presence completely.
Stubborn fool.
Oscar thought of walking away and conceding Solaire his wish.
His arms and feet were already getting numb inside the gelid confines of his armor. His nose was stuffed and his throat was starting to get sore.
A fever and a cold by tomorrow's morning were mandatory.
Perfect, what a wonderful way to end the day and start the next. Was it worth it? Lords, I knew I should have stayed in the godforsaken tavern.
“Do as you wish, then.” Oscar turned his back on Solaire. “Don’t be shocked when everyone mocks you tomorrow for allowing some farmer to trick you into doing his work while he gets drunk.”
“What?”
Oscar ignored Solaire at first, decided not to dignify him with an answer, but the honest disbelief in his voice prevented Oscar from leaving him to his fate.
With a heavy sigh, he turned around.
“That downtrodden and sick farmer that so much begged for your help didn’t look so sick to me. He is healthy enough to be dancing around and singing in the tavern about how you fell for his lie.”
“No.” Very slowly, as if his arms and legs had turned into stone, Solaire stood up. “That’s not true. He… he is very sick, you see. He can’t dance. He has a bad leg, a childhood injury that never truly healed. It never stops hurting, but it gets worse during winter. That’s why he...he asked for my help. His family...”
“I doubt his imaginary wife and children will starve to death any time soon. He seemed rather proud of his bachelorhood, now that I think about it. A jolly and happy life, free of brats and a nagging wife , or so he called it.”
“Oh my, what a misunderstanding. No, no, you got it all wrong.” With a trembling hand, Solaire pointed at the small house and the other end of the field. “His family is over there. They can’t leave the house in this weather. The… the children, they would get sick. They can’t help their father harvest these crops in this cold… and that’s why I...I...”
The silence that followed was uncomfortable even for Oscar. Had his fellow elite knights been there to witness Solaire’s moment of realization, they would have laughed at him without any regard for Solaire himself.
Oscar, perhaps, would have laughed too.
Yet, at that moment, he felt no desire to laugh at all. His anger, so incensed just a moment ago, vanished from his heart.
“I’m a fool.” Solaire said with what sounded like a drowned laugh. He dropped to his knees as a blow of wind snatched the cloth wrapped around his head and took it away, exposing Solaire’s face to the freezing cold. “What did you call me? Astora’s biggest buffoon… well, you aren’t too far off.”
He laughed again, but it was a hollow sound.
“It’s always the same.” Solaire lamented. “Always.”
“I see.” Oscar did not know what else he could say, but he knew that neither he nor Solaire would benefit from staying out in the cold any longer. Gentler than before, he helped Solaire back on his feet. “We’ve no business here. Let’s get back to the tavern before we freeze to death. I’ll see that the farmer receives a proper punishment for his impertinence.”
“No.” Solaire refused to move when Oscar pulled him. “Don’t. What good would any of that do?”
“Plenty. He’ll never dare to trick a knight again, and he’ll be a good example of what happens to those who think they can get away with such insolence. Do not worry, his punishment shall be harsh, not lethal.”
“No.”
“Solaire, you can’t possibly allow this to---”
“I said no.”
“Are you trying to impress me by being stupidly kind and forgiving? If so, let me tell you that it isn’t working. Now, if you are done with this little act of yours, let’s get moving. Hurry; I won't carry you if you pass out. I’ll just leave you here, so you can become a giant snowman for the children to play with.”
“Go where? To the tavern, so that the others can mock me?” Solaire took a step away from Oscar. “Haven’t they mocked me enough? No, I won’t do it. I may be an idiot, but even an idiot has pride. I’d rather stay here and be a snowman by tomorrow’s morning than be everyone’s laughing stock any longer.”
“That would be futile. They are still going to mock regardless of what you do, so might as well be warm and out of danger as they laugh at you. You cannot blame them for it, Solaire. If you don't want to be treated like an idiot, you shouldn't act like one.”
It was the truth. After the stunt he had pulled, Solaire would receive little else than mockery and laughter from knights, merchants and peasants alike for the days to come.
What else does he expect?
What else does he deserve?
Why does he...
Solaire fixed a weary gaze on Oscar. He said nothing, and there was no need, for it was enough to make Oscar’s thoughts come to a halt.
Concealing his regret under a neutral tone, Oscar reached out for Solaire’s arm a third time.
“I won’t allow it.” He said. “If anyone dares to laugh at you, they’ll answer to me. If you are worried about my fellow elite knights, don’t be. I’ll keep them in check too, you have my word.”
Rather than grateful, Solaire seemed baffled, as if Oscar had promised him to make him an elite knight first thing in the morning.
“Why?” Solaire said. It was then Oscar noticed how pale he was, and how loudly his teeth chattered. “Why would you do that? We are nothing to each other. I don't even know your name.”
“By the Lords, you are never satisfied, are you? I didn't offer you to be your friend and my name is none of your business. I want to help you, that's all. Of all people, you should understand, Solaire.”
“And I want to. I want to believe you mean what you say, but for all I know, it’s all a trick, just another one of the elite’s jests against me.”
“That would be a rather poorly executed jest, and I would be the victim of it, not you. By staying here with you, I’ve already caught a cold. My head hurts, I can't feel my hands, my nose is stuffed and it will be a miracle if the snow hasn’t rusted my pauldrons and greaves. Do you think I’d endure all these mishaps just to trick you into some ridiculous situation?”
Solaire’s expression softened, but suspicion and wariness remained in his eyes. Oscar was already starting to consider knocking Solaire unconscious and dragging him to the tavern by one of his legs when the lower knight finally gave him an answer.
“No, I don’t think you would.” Solaire said. He spoke so lowly that Oscar could barely hear him. “Forgive me for not trusting you. I did not intend to be rude, I just…”
“Oh, Solaire.” Oscar rested a hand on his shoulder on what Solaire interpreted as an understanding gesture. Sadly, he was quickly proven wrong. “You talk too much. I’ll listen to your apologetic speeches all you want, but only once we are back to the tavern. Understood?”
“Y-yes.”
“Good.” Oscar said with relief. “Let’s go then.”
“Wait!” Solaire exclaimed. “Just give me a moment to retrieve my equipment and then we--”
He looked around in all directions. Oscar did the same, but all he saw was a thick blanket of pure-white snow.
“I left them here.” Solaire pointed at a spot a few steps away from his feet. After a brief moment of pondering, he pointed at a more distant spot on his left. “No, I left them there. My helmet, my talisman, my sword and my shield. Or was it over there? No, it was here!”
“That doesn't matter.” Oscar snapped at him. “We don't have time for this. You’ll retrieve your equipment tomorrow.”
“I can’t leave it behind.” Solaire got on his knees and began digging with his hands. “My shield and sword will rust… my talisman will get destroyed too...and my helmet…. No, no, what a dreadful thought. I cannot leave it behind!”
It didn't take long for droplets of blood to start splattering around Solaire’s hands, but that wasn’t enough for him to stop digging.
“It’s not here.” Solaire admitted reluctantly. He stood up, no longer bothering to hide his desperation. He looked around restlessly, his panting creating small clouds in the freezing air. “I… I don’t remember. I--”
He turned around and faced Oscar, as if he could give him an answer, but there was nothing Oscar could do other than look at him in sympathy from under his helmet.
Disappointed and tired, Solaire looked down at his bleeding hands.
“Let’s go.” Oscar said as gently as he could, though it still came out like stern order rather than a kind offer. “There’s nothing left to be done here.”
Solaire did not answer.
Oscar was starting to fear he would once again refuse when he finally muttered a low, “Yes.”
-----------------------------------------------------------
Oscar did not have to carry Solaire. There was no need, as he only passed out after they entered the tavern. They were received by a jolly crowd. Some mocked Solaire loudly as soon as they saw him, whistling and applauding at him as if he was returning victorious from a duel; others were more discreet and simply gossiped among each other, covering their smiles with their pints and hands.
Before Oscar could order them all to be quiet, Solaire collapsed on the floor. He fell flat on his chest, as if a wayward arrow had pierced his heart and lungs.
A silence colder than the wind outside spread across the tavern.
“By the Lords, is the idiot going to die?” an elite knight said to his friend as he stopped leaning his ear against the closed door.
He spoke of Solaire as if he was a horse with a broken leg and not a man agonizing on a bed.
“How should I know? You’re the one listening to the whole thing, you stupid sod!” The other elite knight answered. Behind them, a small and curious crowd had gathered. Among them, there was the farmer responsible for that whole mess.
He was crying like a criminal sentenced to be beheaded publicly by tomorrow’s morning.
“I never meant for this to happen.” He muttered in between his sobbing. “It was a jest…”
“Quiet, you!” One of the elite knights exclaimed. He shooed the peasants away, threatening violence upon them if they did not disperse and returned to their own business that instant.
They all obeyed, even the farmer, though he was still crying when he left.
“That was a bit harsh.” The other elite knight told his partner. “They were doing nothing wrong.”
“Perhaps, but I couldn't hear a damn thing with their blabbering and that farmer’s cursed sobbing. “ The elite knight rested his helmeted ear against the door and closed one of his eyes as if that sharpened his hearing. “Now you shut up too so that I--”
The door opened.
The elite knight sprung backwards like a scared cat. He crashed against his partner’s chest, and together, they watched a third elite knight emerge from the room.
“By the Lords, Oscar! You almost scared me to death!” The elite knight exclaimed. His anger soon waned, overtaken by his curiosity. “Speaking of death... Tell us what happened! Hurry, before the peasants come again like chickens hungry for breadcrumbs of gossip. What will happen to the idiot? Is he going to die?”
The last word came distorted with an amused snort.
“Hey now, ” the second elite knight said to his partner. “I may find Solaire’s antics fun and entertaining, but you shouldn’t laugh at him right now…not in his current state.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve had too many drinks and… Nah, to hell with it! I am not sorry at all!” The drunk elite knight exclaimed, no longer bothering to repress his laughter. “Why should I be sorry? Why should we pretend this is not what Solaire deserves? Serves him right for allowing some peasant to deceive him. In fact, where is that farmer? Bring him before me so I can kiss him on both cheeks for granting me some joy on a stressful day! Where are you, you magnificent bastard? Come here! Now now, don’t be shy--”
The elite knight never got to finish, for his helmet was forcefully removed from his head by Oscar. Before he could react or understand what was happening, a gauntlet shaped like a fist crashed on his mouth.
He fell on his back, blood dripping from his mouth and busted lip.
“Oscar! Have you gone mad?!” The second elite knight asked in distress as he went to his partner’s side and helped him sit down.
“You damn bastard.” The injured elite knight stuttered, touching his bloodied mouth tenderly with his fingers. “You loosened my front teeth. You won’t get away with this, you’ll see! Once I’m done with you, you won’t be knight enough to guard the public muck pit!”
“You talk too much but you say so little. Typical of a fool.” Oscar said,unaffected by the other’s threats. “How about you stop wasting your nasty breath and do something good for a change? Guard this room, the both of you. Do not let anyone enter, and should the healer need anything, make sure you get it for her.”
“What, are we the guardians of the idiot out of a sudden? As if!” The drunk elite knight stood up, despite his friend doing his best to keep him quiet and on the floor. He spat a bloodied phlegm on Oscar’s tunic. “Look at you, acting so smug, trying to put yourself above everyone elsr, like you always do! Take your selfrightouness and cram it up your ass, Oscar. As if you cared about the idiot at all… as if you didn’t hate the way he makes all of us Astoran knights look like fools! What is that you always say? If he didn’t want to be treated like an idiot, he wouldn’t act like one. Well, you are absolutely right! And if he didn’t want to be at death’s doorstep, he shouldn’t have stayed out in the sheer cold for hours like an absolute nitwit!”
“Well, aren't you fond of my sayings. Here's a new one for you.” Oscar said calmly before pulling his fellow elite knight closer to him and landing another punch on his lips. The other fell to the floor again, and this time, he spat out not only blood, but two teeth. “If you didn’t want to get your mouth torn apart, you wouldn’t have opened it so much.”
The injured elite knight couldn’t answer. A sudden rush of vomit, mostly caused by the amount of drink in his stomach, finally came gushing from his mouth.
“Make sure this fool stays down and doesn’t cause any more ruckus.” Oscar said to the second elite knight, who looked at him as if he was a scolded child. “And please, do as I told you. Guard this door and make sure the healer has all she needs while I’m gone.”
“I.. I…” The elite knight looked at his almost passed out partner and then at Oscar again. He sighed, almost as exhausted as Oscar was. “Very well. But, where are you going?”
“I won’t take long.” It was the only answer Oscar gave him.
As he left the tavern, the curious crowd looked at him as if they had just witnessed a murder. They all stepped out of his way as Oscar passed them by.
All except for a farmer with red and swollen eyes.
“Sir.” He muttered to Oscar. “Sir, I’m so sorry. You have to believe me, this is not what I wanted. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
Oscar stopped and glared at him from under his helmet, but his expression soon softened.
If he did this, it is because he is following our example. This is what we elite knights have allowed.
“Sir.” The farmer kneeled next to Oscar and tried to hold his hand. “Please.”
Oscar backed away from him as if he had been burned and left the tavern without saying a word.
------------------------------------------------------------------
He felt unreasonably disappointed.
Perhaps, it was because of it that he refused to stop digging.
They’re not here.
The rational side of his mind whispered
They’re not anywhere.
A more fantasious but no less persistent side added.
“They are here. Somewhere.” Oscar replied to himself. If anyone saw him talking to his own mind, they would think of him as a madman clad in stolen armor, not as a rightful knight.
It would not be a baseless supposition, for an elite knight did not dig into the snow like some mutt in search of a lost bone.
Thankfully, or perhaps regrettably, there was no one around to look at him and laugh. Or, in a more idlilic scenario, to offer him a much needed hand.
You know who would be perfect for that? Solaire! But no… Lords, no. He had to go and get himself sick! And by doing so, he left this cursed task all to me! Who does he think I am? Some pig trained to search truffles for him? Some squire he can send to find his ridiculous equipment?
“They’re not here!” Oscar exclaimed, unable to state otherwise any longer. Snow had leaked through his gauntlets, freezing his fingers and lacerating his skin with dozens of sharp and small cuts.
He retrieved them from the snow and tried to stand up, but his knees and ankles were numb with cold and pain. After a long moment of effort, Oscar got back on his shaky legs. He turned around and looked at the many holes he had dug on the frozen field. Some of them were starting to get filled again with fresh falling snow.
Disappointment and anger faded and gave way to despair.
The helmet, the talisman, the sword and the shield.
If he didn’t find them soon, it wouldn’t take long before he lost track of the place where he had already searched.
And then…
So what if that happens? All I’d have to do next is go back to the tavern and forget about this whole thing. I’d owe no explanations to no one, especially not Solaire. That is if he isn’t already dead by then.
Oscar stopped thinking as he had been struck by an invisible hand.
Truth was that Solaire had not asked him to go find his equipment for him; he had been too moribund to do anything else other than rave like a lunatic about how much he needed to go back and retrieve his possessions before they got ruined under the snow.
Oscar didn’t understand why. The helmet was nothing special, the talisman was little more than an old rag and the shield was a mockery of what a knight’s shield should look like, with that foolish sun painted all over its surface.
The only piece with some value to it was the sword, and even that was highly arguable.
But even so…
“Dammit.” Oscar slowly walked to a new position and knelt down.
He repeated the process again.
Even if I am looking for nothing else than a bunch of scrap metal whose value is strictly sentimental, I will not give up. I will not be defeated by Solaire’s simple task! Who does he think he is? Who does he think I am?
He dug and dug.
Blood leaking from his gauntlets painted the red snow.
He kept digging, but he found nothing.
He moved to another spot, then another.
The result was the same.
My hands, my legs. I’m tired, I want to go back… no, no! Solaire stayed out in this cold for hours! Does he think I can’t do the same? Who does he think I am? An upstart knight, best an elite? Never!
Anger fueled his movements, but Solaire was not the reason behind it.
Why did he do it? What was he trying to prove? I don't get it… I don't… What am I…?
Oscar’s sight became blurry and his thoughts began to scatter.
Amidst his fever, he looked at me. He said…
His fingers scratched a solid surface.
"Please."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
He had survived the night.
His recovery would take a while, but his life was not in danger. The healer had done her job well.
Solaire had wanted to thank her, but she had left without waking him up.
Had she taken care of him for free out of the kindness of her heart, or had someone else paid her in Solaire’s stead?
Solaire could only wonder, but he knew the latter was more likely. He wanted to care more about the matter, but he had too little strength of body and spirit to focus his thoughts on anything beyond the room and bed he occupied.
The mere idea of going outside and facing the world was disheartening.
He was not naive enough to think his close encounter with death would soften the people’s hearts, especially not after he had survived.
He would be everyone’s laughing stock for the days to come. If he had managed to earn some respect from other knights since being knighted on the battlefield months ago, all of it would have been lost last night.
All his efforts had been wasted in an instant.
But I cannot stay here forever… I have to go back to my life. I have to live among my people, eat in their company, protect them and fight by their side. I have to face them with my head high.
The thought was meant to be comforting, perhaps even wise, but it only discouraged him further.
Solaire covered his eyes with his forearm and breathed out a bitter chuckle.
"But such is the life I've built for myself." Solaire muttered with a hollow smile as the silk of his shirt absorbed his tears. "Such is the life of Astora's biggest buffoon."
He wallowed in his self-pity for longer than he had done in his life. Eventually, realizing the futility of it and disgusted at his own weakness, Solaire stopped
Crying had solved nothing. The world outside  and its people remained unchanged.
Perhaps it would be best if I face it now .
Slowly, Solaire got himself out of bed. The taverner and the few people in the tavern at that time in the morning were as good a start as any.
Or perhaps…
The idea that so often fluttered around his mind became so vivid that it felt almost like an order towards himself.
Why not go through with it?
Lately, Solaire often considered it.
Why not attempt to become an Undead and leave Astora for good?
Could he really say he had something dear enough to him in his homeland to be bound to it any longer?
Friends and family he had none. His achievements were seldom recognized, his missteps were always remembered. He had believed things would change for the better after becoming a rightful knight, but last night, he had discovered he had thought wrong.
I love Astora. I love my people.
Solaire thought once he was done putting his armor on. It was too heavy for his tired body, but he was a knight. It was time he started acting like one.
But I can’t —
The sight of his equipment disrupted his thoughts. Solaire didn’t believe his eyes at first.
His helmet, his talisman, his sword and his shield.
Someone had found them and returned them to him. Solaire had not wanted to think about his lost equipment. He was sure they were lost for good, he was convinced that he would find them ruined by the snow once he went to retrieve them later that day.
But there they were, right before his eyes. Solaire promptly knelt down to inspect each piece. The feather of his helmet was gone, but the helmet itself was undamaged. His talisman was dry; whoever had found it must have hung it in the tavern’s hearth. His sword and shield would require a blacksmith’s care, but they were perfectly salvageable.
“But…” Solaire stuttered, relieved and confused in equal doses. “Who?”
Then, he remembered he knew the answer.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Oscar lifted his visor just enough to release his sneeze. He had not slept well, and the fever from last night had not disappeared yet.
But last night was gone and a new day had dawned.
There were duties he had to tend to, and they cared not if he was sick or healthy.
Such was the life of an elite knight.
“Look.” His fellow elite knight said to Oscar, bumping him strongly on the arm. Without his front teeth, he sounded like a completely different man, but the venom and resentment in his voice was palpable. “Your lady has come to bid you farewell.”
Oscar didn’t understand what the other meant at first, but everything became clear when Solaire’s voice reached his ears.
“Wait!” Solaire exclaimed. He had followed them outside the tavern.
Oscar saw how the two other elite knights walked away from Solaire and ignored him as if he was ridden with disease. They said nothing in derision to him, they simply turned their backs to him and left.
Oscar tried to do the same, but Solaire approached him before he could escape.
“It was you, wasn’t it?” Solaire asked.
Oscar answered by turning his back to him, but he didn’t walk away. He supposed Solaire still had something to say.
He was not wrong.
“Thank you.”
Oscar remained still for a little while, but he left without saying anything in return.
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Solaire watched the three elite knights go.
As they became lost in the distance, he could no longer distinguish the one that had helped him from the other two.
He stayed outside for a moment. Eventually, Solaire went back inside the tavern.
The idea from before never faded from his mind, and it gained strength whenever he heard a distant chuckle or insult thrown at him.
But when Solaire returned to the room and looked at his beloved equipment, he decided he would not go trough with it.
Perhaps, one day, he would.
But not today.
Now properly dressed and with his shield, his sword, his talisman and helmet in place, he left the room to face the world with his head high.
Not today.
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mrslittletall · 2 years ago
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I meant to ask A4, not A3! Me and numbers have a complicated relationship, hehe
Fanfiction Reader Ask Meme
No problem, just more questions to answer ^^ 4. What is your AO3/FFN username? Has it always been that?
It is MrsLittletall like on here. And yeah, it has always been that, but because you want the story behind the name... I used to have a different screen name. It was Hikari, based on the japanese word for light after I found that my IRL name is associated with light (and I was a big weeb back then, not that I am not a weeb anymore, but I was 14). But that name was taken everywhere, so I got fed up with having to add numbers. Littletall was the name of my WoW character and when I looked it up, I was the ONLY one with this name. Hmmmm... that means the name is generally not taken, hmmm? Well, long story short, it was actually taken on YOUTUBE! But Youtube told me "Eh, just add as Ms in front of it". I then made it into Mrs Littletall and that has been my screen name from now on. I will always be Little ^^ Fun fact: I am actually not small in real life, I am 5'7'' or 168 cm tall ^^
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