#mr cocaine was just like please for the love of god don’t pet it

[stardustasincocaine]

What I thought was a dog pushed our hotel door open a bit with its nose and it took about 45 seconds and 3 dog breed eliminations before I realized it was, in fact, not a dog but was, in fact, a fucking black bear cub.

I love him regardless of scaring the shit out of me.

[cottonwren]

A Well Dressed Woman | Part 5

Summary: A jewish legend and a mysterious letter

The races had been over a month ago, and business for Jamie was booming. Cocaine sales were up by fifty percent, and she was on the verge of making a deal with the king of Camden town. Alfie Solomons would be one of the most beneficial partners in a long time, and he had close links to Thomas Shelby. She pretended not to notice the fact that he was, but Jamie hoped to god that it brought them back into contact.

“Ms. Pine, Mr Solomons is here for a meeting” Samson announced after knocking on the door of her office. He was intimidated by the man rambling beside him, and he was sure that Jamie would knock him down a peg. It’s probably what he liked most about her.

“Let him in, Samson, thank you” Jamie smiled, her desk clear of any paper, leaving only her pen out in the open. In her home office, she had a framed picture of herself and Linn together, but in public, she couldn’t let her sentimentalism show. Any feelings of love were seen as weakness, and Jamie only knew because she used them herself upon occasion. Mostly she just used brute force and blackmail, only good things, obviously.

“Shalom, Ms.” Alfie bellowed, opening his arms and then taking a seat, resting his hands on the desk, his cane leaning on the fine oak desk. “Shalom” He repeated after not getting instantly gratified with a reply.

“Shalom, Mr Solomons” Jamie smiled, shaking his hand politely “Have you had time to come to a decision over my proposition?”

“I have. I have also had time to do my research about you, Ms. My good friend, Thomas Shelby, tells me that he and you are business partners. Now, Thomas Shelby, OBE, MP, all those fucking titles he likes to call himself, will betray anyone for an extra sixpence. He’s betrayed me a couple times, and I have betrayed him in turn, which is by the by, but why are you so special? He even betrays the ones he fucks, so it can’t be that” Alfie rambled, looking her in the eye, making wild gestures with his hands.

“For once, Tommy Shelby has used his common sense, and realised that of all the people to try and turn over, I am not the one to pick” Jamie replied, making direct eye contact with him “Probably because he got to know me well enough during our meetings to understand that I am as mad as a shithouse rat”

“Sane enough to capitalise on cocaine, eh? Funny how your competition’s all gone missing, isn’t it, pet?” Alfie hummed, scratching his head. His comment on her competition didn’t please her at all. The snow business was hers and hers alone, and there were many reasons why that was.

“They came for my head, and so they went missing. Correlation isn’t always causation, Mr Solomons, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were insinuating something. Someone clever I once knew very closely saw it as a threat” Jamie told him, folding her arms on the desk.

“Bet that someone also had sapphire blue eyes. Sees everything as a threat, though, doesn’t he? It’s why he likes you so much, fucking hell. Dealing with proper insanity, I am” He groaned, realising that he should have heeded every warning Tommy had given him, even though they were vague and somewhat jokey “So, pet, the deal”

“My name is Pine - they both start with P but I assume you’re smart enough to understand that not all things with alliteration are the same thing, which is why I’m not calling you Arsehole” Jamie smiled with all the honesty of a conman “The deal is that you let my boys sell in Camden, and you let them sell to your employees”

“And I get twenty five percent of your cut?” Alfie completed, taken aback by her statement. Was she actually insane? Like… actually insane? “Got a brave mouth, you have”

“And a brave trigger finger to follow, Mr. Solomons” Jamie reminded him strictly “You get twenty of the cut I receive from your men.”

“We have a deal. You got an accountant for me to deal with?” He asked, “Or are you the accountant, Ms. Pine?”

“The accountant is this way, I’ll lead you. The Pine Pharmacutical company is a family business, you see.” She explained, getting up from her desk. Jamie walked towards her door “Well?”

“I’m coming, Ms. Pine. Do you make everyone call you that?” Alfie asked, getting up and catching up with her, following her down the hallway.

“No, my accountant calls me by my first name in private.” Jamie smirked, looking over her shoulder to check he was following her.

“Your accountant’s fucking related to you, though. Your good friend Mr. Shelby calls you your first name, doesn’t he? Wouldn’t tell me it, though. Is it embarrassing? Bet it’s Beatrice, or something of the sort” Alfie huffed, his cane tapping on the wood floors “Dark wood. Smart idea. Sabini has carpets - gets them replaced every time blood is spilt, which makes no fucking sense to me”

“Mr Shelby is persistent, and also no part of this deal, Mr Solomons. No-one has died in my offices, and if they were, it would be taken care of before blood could drip onto any of my flooring. Wood is just a style choice.” Jamie explained, knocking on the accountant’s door and then walking through.

“Ms. Pine, could you process a deal for myself and Mr. Solomons?” Jamie asked, then welcomed Alfie in.

“It’d be my pleasure, take a seat” Linn smiled, making eye contact with Alfie.

“See, I already like her more” Alfie nodded, sitting down and beginning to talk to Linn “But, question is, is she going to tell me her name?”

“Why don’t you ask her?” Linn smirked “The answer is no, but it starts with L, as it says on my door. Maybe a little more observancy would help you out?” She smiled, liking his coarse accent and wiry beard.

“I ain’t Sherlock, pet” Alfie chuckled, noticing that this office was a lot more homey than the business woman’s.

“Explains a lot” Linn joked, looking at him with a tentative smile.

--------

A few weeks after Alfie had shown up and business was booming up again for the Pines, Alfie not betraying them, probably because he was too busy with his weekly check in with Linn. Jamie, to say the least was pissed off. The deal was beneficial to the business so much that cancelling it just because she was concerned about his feelings towards her little sister was off of the table. If word got out she’d look unstable - she’d worked hard to get into the respectable position that she was in, and high class business men were like vultures, ready to peck at any exposed flesh.

“Ms Pine, a letter has come for you” Samson came in with a neat letter, placing it on her desk and nodding at her before walking back out.

Jamie really had no idea what she’d do without Samson - he was her first ever employee, and a few years younger than her. He was the son of the woman who owned the left building of their offices, and he had desperately needed a job. He was a loyal lad, and she appreciated his devotion. She’d met his wife and children a few times, and would send the child a christmas present every year. Jamie was touched to find out that she and Linn were referred to as the child’s aunts.

She looked at the plain white envelope, intrigued by the six letters on the back. ‘J.L.Pine’ Jamie laughed softly when she realised who it must be from - who she hoped it would be from, anyway. She’d been hoping for any type of correspondence, even though her life would be a lot easier without Tommy, without every night she slept filled with his tailored suits, sometimes specifically the lack of them.

‘Jamie,

           We have unfinished business, meet me at the Garrison, Tuesday 11am.

T. S.’

A breath she didn’t know she was holding escaped her mouth, her face breaking into a grin as she bounced her feet off of the floor repeatedly. So long without anyone to actually annoy and be annoyed back, she was longing for something, anything. Tommy Shelby was a bad, capitalistic man, and she wanted nothing more than to tell him that.

“Oh, no.” Linn groaned as she stepped in and drew the blinds. “Tommy?”

“Tommy. Wants me to meet him” Jamie nodded, smiling at her. She was fucking ecstatic to say the least, stretching upwards and flexing like a cat to exert only a small, minute fraction of the energy currently coursing through her veins. “Linn, this is good news! This is amazing news!”

“He could want to kill you, Jamie. Men like him are unpredictable in the most predictable way, please tell me you’re at least going in there with a gun. And a knife” Linn told her, deadpan “I’m happy for you, but you need to be cautious!”

“I’ll take a gun, and two knives, alright? Stop worrying!”

“Also, remember that thing you said about not being in love with him? Hm? What we saying about that now, Miss Jamie Leanne Pine?” Linn teased, sitting down at her desk “So, when am I becoming an auntie? If it’s a girl name it after me”

“I’m not in love! I just like his company whilst pretending not to, alright?” Jamie defended, crossing her arms, slouching back into her chair. “He’s also very pretty”

“Fucking hell” She muttered, running a hand through her hair “Fucking hell”

“Hey, bet you think Solomons is pretty, don’t you, pumpkin?” Jamie teased.

“Don’t go there! Yes.” Linn huffed with a smug smile. “Alfie is… strange. I like him”

“Aw, is my baby experiencing her first romantic attraction? Please say no, I genuinely want to behead him and cut off his legs” Jamie smiled.

“Please don’t, I like him” Linn whined softly, taking her hand over the desk “He’s nice! Would you rather I find someone who’s a dick?”

“Which is exactly why, pumpkin” Jamie told her with a smile “If he hurts you, they won’t find enough parts of his body to put in a coffin or to identify his body. Now let’s get you home, right?”

“Alright, mum”  Linn smiled, then pinked. The last time she’d called Jamie mum was on accident, and she was about thirteen.

“C’mon then” Jamie smiled, noticing the slip up but not acknowledging it, just pulling on her coat “You got your coat, love?”