#mpeeing my development but its like an easy emotional safeguard so i dont have crying fits on the regular | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

narke · 4 months

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we did a standing guard pass involving punching in the boob area and my coach was like “yeah uh [name] if you want people to like. modify it to be lower. yeah” which like totally fair and appreciated but also got me in a weird funk like mannnn now people are going to be thinking about my boobs. and im going to be thinking about my boobs and how its not fair for my drilling partner because he won’t be able to practice the technique as intended. and then i rolled with a teenager and i got frustrated at how much effortlessly stronger he was

#just feels worse when its someone closer in size because to be honest i do be like haha whatever about bigger guys which i acknowledge is ha #mpeeing my development but its like an easy emotional safeguard so i dont have crying fits on the regular #because like with a bigger guy its like yeah im going to feel helpless to an extent but with someone closer to my size theres like an expect #ation of… something. especially since i am a blue belt and all and the white belts expect something #on a lighter note though he was like making a joke about how hes hip and he was like ‘no cap. i got rizz’ HMMM.#idk if he noticed the face i made he made small talk about my hair today? like ‘ur hair is getting long’ and i was like ‘yeah’ and he was li #ke ‘yeah’ (imitating me teasingly’ and i was like ‘yeah it grows fast’#i feel like he may have been probing but i did not make eye contact at all. but maybe he was just making small talk i dont know.

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