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aeonstale · 5 days ago

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SHUT UP AND DRIVE !

┆彡 summary. headcannons about driving. ┆彡 cw. blade x reader. moze x reader. boothill x reader. crashes. suggestive (mention of making out). curses. road rage. boothill's part is short bc headache. not proof read. [1.5k]

m.list | request.

STELLARON HUNTERS (BLADE).

Canonical Blade can drive. Silver wolf tried one time, she almost caused your death (she said she had a perfect score. She meant in the game..) Firefly can’t, Kafka can but always let Blade drive.

Passenger princess treatment from Blade. The type to have his hand on your thighs, drawing meaningless shapes. He lets you choose the music, and you know he likes it when he taps his finger to the rhythm.

Though if you call him out he will deny it all.

If you were craving food at whatever time, he WILL drive you there.

No matter the distance or time. Blade’s getting the car keys and driving you there.

He sometimes participates in races.

Tailored a jacket based off of him for you to wear.

′′It brings me good luck.′′ he says.

But you know the pink hues slowly merging into red ones. Even if he hides his face, blade’s ears are a dead give away.

Make out sessions in his car. I’m talking heavy ones.

The type to ask you to feed him when he drives. His eyes focused on the road, while his ears were listening to your daily gossip.

He does have light road rage. Mostly when the other car initiates it, he scares them off. He doesn’t want to waste time and ruin your time together.

But when the mara struck and he couldn't control his anger, he tried to crash them… You gave him the silent treatment for a week + no kisses or cuddles for a month + never sat next to him choosing to sit farther from him even in the car, and he never tried that again.

Sometimes the other stellarons crash your outings.

Silver Wolf would be popping bubble gums while her game audio is at max volume. She would be sitting right behind you, easy access to whisper to you and teasing Blade.

Kafka would be in the seat behind Blade’s. Easy to annoy him with light kicks and can also see you clearly while you talk (she just loves window seats.)

And Firefly in the middle. She’d talk to you about recent missions encounters and whatever’s on the girl's mind. Would also ask blade to stop at a restaurant for take outs, and when he refuses she turns to you. Puppy eyes begging you to convince him. And of course, you agree.

The chaotic family trip vibe.

Except when Kafka drives then it turns into a girl night out and Blade.

He would be in charge of carrying heavy stuff.

You let Firefly sit in front while you sit next to Blade.

He sits in between you and Silver Wolf.

One because SW will die before she gives up the window seats. And two he likes how you lean on him (plus a good excuse to say he’s looking at the window when Kafka and SW teases him about how he watches you with tender eyes.)

Overall; a good 9/10 vibe when driving with Blade. (minus one because it can be annoying when he crashed.)

YAOQING TRIO (MOZE).

All of you have your driving license. So let’s cut it into four parts ;

When Moze is driving :

Respect the rules. A calm driver who has little to no road rage.

The type to park whenever he needs something so as to avoid any danger. This man is the textbook example of how a driver should act.

However, Moze would NOT let the music play.

′′ It distracts me from the road. ′′ o/10.

Even if you bring out any deal, Moze will just continue dead staring into the road. He will not budge.

When Fei Xiao is driving :

Hold on to your prayers and your seat belt.

Number one street racer here, she will respect the red light but other than that? Nah.

′′ Why go slow when you can break the sound barrier? ′′ Fei Xiao probably.

The type to eat and drive, if she dropped something she would grab it herself and let go of the wheel forcing either you or Moze to stir in her stead.

Which leads to my next point. Either you or Moze HAVE to be on the front passenger seat. This woman is NOT to be trusted with a wheel.

But whoever sits next to her will ALWAYS receive princess treatment.

Moze hates her for it, so he lets you ride next to her.

It’s all fun and game until she’s too caught up in a conversation with you to notice the huge truck heading your way.

You manage to stir out of the way and she just laughs and slaps your back telling you she knew what she was doing.

You banished Moze to the front for a month and to the couch for a week after that.

When Jiaoqiu is driving :

Pre 2.5? Kind of a responsible driver. He still has some slip up and he often pretends to crash to scare all of you out.

He gets banned from spicy foods when he pulls stunts like these.

Post 2.5? No.

In the back seat, he is however in charge of snacks and pranks.

′′ Oh hey we’re here!′′ ′′..no we are not?′′ ′′ that’s what it’d sound like when one of you notices it.′′ proceed to stare into your soul but he’s looking at the seat.

Many blind jokes, it’s his coping mechanism.

The type to sit behind the driver seat and cover their eyes. ′′ Guess who~′′ (′′THE IMMINENT DEATH IF YOU DON’T LET GO′′)

His tail takes up most of the back seat but if he allows you, an amazing sleeping spot. But has an interesting way to wake you up…(he put hot peppers underneath your nose until you wake up in a coughing fit lmao)

Overall 7/10 (you still didn’t forgive him for the hot pepper prank.)

When your driving :

Responsible driver with a hint of road rage. Kind of similar to Blade’s aforementioned, but tamer….ish.

Moze would be in charge of the gps, Feixiao of the music (her gym playlist would be playing because it is the only acceptable one of hers), Jiaoqiu of the food as usual.

But the moment someone tries to push you into another lane or bump into you while overtaking you?

They are holding into their seatbelt and praying to The Hunt.

Physically having to restrain you before you get out and show them why you are the General’s Lieutenant. Insults after insults, it’s even funnier when you insult them in The Xiaozhu tongue while they stand there confused.

But a quick snack shoved to your mouth by Moze and you are all fine and dandy.

′′ Where do you guys wanna eat :) ′′ ′′you almost killed a man..?′′ ′′do you want me to finish him or go eat? ′′ ′′eat.′′ ′′:)′′

Wife happy, we happy.

Wife mad, we scared.

Overall 10000000000000/10 (biased bc no you are not wrong ???)

GALAXY RANGERS (BOOTHILL).

Oh boy.

There are only two actual drivers, Boothill and you.

Rappa is licenseless and it’s better if it stays that way.

Boothill prefers to drive, you don’t mind since you get to enjoy the scenery and sleep.

Rappa is always in the backseat.

They got banished there after some..unfortunate incidents.

She almost crashed you all. She saw something she deemed was necessary to investigate. Boothill refused to pull over, so she did the next best thing. She tried to jump out.

You had a heart attack trying to pull her back in, you had to climb into the front all while begging Boothill to help.

Meanwhile Boothill was trying to keep you steady while making sure not to crash (oh yeah and also not hurt Rappa Though he kinda wanted to.)

You got pulled over by the police, but while you were reprimanded, Rappa distracted the police and pushed you all back into the car. Urging Boothill to hit the gas which he did all while laughing maniacally.

′′You are crazy!!? What would you have done if they started shooting??′′ ′′shoot back.′′ (father and daughter moment)

Safe to say Rappa was banished from the front seat and was obligated to have the seat belt on at all times.

princess treatment from Boothill. Would drive to the moon and earth.

Does have some road rage but one glare for you and he is calm.

He is a bit of a ′make your own solution′.

′′Oh no that car is blocking our way′′ ′′we’ll run them over.′′ ′′yes we’ll run them–WHAT′′

The type to fight over the songs, the other two joining soon.

You would have arrived at the destination before a song was agreed on.

Fun experience until he almost runs over an IPC member and you have to go on a car chase to lose the tens of IPC cars after you.

That meme.

Boothill singing along to the song while you death stare at him.

He slept on the couch that night and the following.

And the week after.

@/AEONSTALE — all copyrights reserved. do not repost, modify or edit my works in any way. DON'T LIKE SPAM.

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slowd1ving · 5 months ago

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TALES OF A DISGRUNTLED CORVID ⁺ 　 . MOZE

Quite frankly, you've been assigned an absolute loser (unaffectionate) to work with after your dramatic exit from the Intelligentsia Guild. Whoever said this guy was too silent was wrong, as he verily proves himself as the bane of your existence with his ceaseless yapping. art credits to @code_tesseract on x!! and tagging @ilovechuuy4 as requested :3 pairings: moze + male cryptologist reader (will be part of a series methinks) warnings: male reader, mentions of assassination? may be a touch ooc since this is pre-release writing unfortunately, lowkey crack fic, pre relationship, business partnership of hating each other wc: 1.9k

HONKAI STAR RAIL MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST ・゜・NAVIGATION

There’s never a dull day when a certain Shadow Guard is your partner for an assignment. Truly, your life always sparkles brilliantly when the information pings on your Jade Abacus; without fail, everything gains just a bit more colour, a bit more vivaciousness. Pathetically fallacious, you might’ve described it as had you taken literature classes: mood hued with such dynamic chromaticity that you fear you might explode into little prismic rainbows. Always such a bundle of joy to be geminate with him.

“Must you be so… disorganised?”

Oh, who are you kidding.

It’s always a dull day when you’re paired with Moze.

“Get out.” A particularly rude gesture materialises in your open hand as you stare at the door he practically kicked down. Apartments in this particular sector of the Xianzhou Yaoqing do not come cheap, and you half-wonder whether he’d eke out coin to console your landlord. Then, with an especially sour, lemon-like expression, you realise he would fork out his own money just to make your life more difficult.

When you first got assigned work in the Yaoqing (read: kicked to the curb by the Intelligentsia Guild to gain real world experience), you really did expect your tenure to be plain office work. Letters, forms, public relations—these mundanities you anticipated. In fact, you would’ve relished such tedium; after decrypting endless scientific formulae and pondering your mysterious tomes, engaging in bureaucratic matters would be a piece of cake! A little treat for your weary eyes—if you closed them, you could still see faint imprints of equations in the theatre of your mind.

But what you hadn’t factored into your (ahem) calculations was just how sharp the Arbiter-General Feixiao was: just how passionate she was about pursuing Abominations and ruthlessly eliminating them, just how frank and swift the Madam General was. You also forgot that out of all the flagships, the Yaoqing were one of the most militarily driven. A blunder most fatal.

“Thy talents would be wasted in the mere administrative wing,” Feixiao gesticulated. “Come, child, put thy brain and brawn to use and track down these villainous curs most evil.”

“Goodness, Madam General!” you’d cried out pitifully. “My heart is thine for the keeping!”

Or something like that. Actually, it may have not all been like that.

After all, you were kicked out (temporarily! temporarily!) partly due to your penchant for delivering heart-rendering performances to your professors to avoid taking on their extra work. Such moving renditions, that they had to let you go lest you broke their bleeding hearts. Had you known you’d be working in the shady corners of intelligence and decryption, you would’ve kowtowed to the Guild for utmost forgiveness. Probably.

When your path first overlapped with the Shadow Guards’, you honestly couldn’t give two hoots about the rumours that followed silently behind their own noiseless steps. Your ears had perked somewhat at the gossip your colleagues threw back and forth—though, who could blame you. The job was no fun!

Weirdo with the crow feathers, they’d murmured. He’s so quiet. What a reticent chap.

Of course, you’d disagree, and perhaps tack on a loser to the descriptions of Moze. You’d disagree not with the ‘weirdo’, but rather with the quiet and reticent adjectives—partly because he really does need to shut up more.

And he needs to stick to his rumours more. If this loner’s made it a point to not work with people, then why oh why did the honourable Madam General decide your ancient science and study complemented his shady skillset? And why oh why does he never refuse her request? (You’ve conveniently forgotten how you always fold when it comes to her.) You’ve always worked alone too, for as long as you can remember; decoding the ancient equations in ruins and solving their gimmicky puzzles using your boundless wits is a job for one.

As it stands, the people he investigates, the work he takes care of, sometimes intrudes into the realm of questionable rituals and summonings the Abominations and their ilk oft partake in. Thus do you find your career verging into some gruesome form of forensics as you stare down what would commonly be considered a murder scene: sigils and ancient alchemical algebra staring right back at you. He deals with the human aspect of intelligence: the psychology, the crime, the covert espionage. You deal with the technical fallout: the analysis of antique sciences is your specialty, after all. This has culminated in a begrudging partnership where both parties wish nothing more than to leave it.

A business relationship, of sorts, founded on the mutual dislike (a weak description) of each other.

“No.” He doesn’t budge from where he leans against the doorframe, but he does have the decency to swing the door closed behind him. Yet, it’s not out of any respect for the hallowed sanctity of your abode, but more because he’s sooo Mysterious and Aloof that none of your neighbours are allowed to view his visage.

“You are—” a quick glance at your watch proves your point. For someone obsessed with keeping tidy, he sure does have messy time management. “—eighteen minutes too early.”

“And you still aren’t ready,” he counters, pointedly eyeing the loose shirt and comfortable cotton trousers slung over your hips. You yawn, tired already from his yapping. He’s been compared to a crow for as long as you’ve been here—and perhaps far longer—but to you he’s always been more like a little dog. Yap. Yap. Yap.

This is precisely why I don’t work with others, you can almost taste his words—his thoughts.

“You are currently the biggest hindrance to my getting ready,” you grimace. Casting a quick glance over his intricate garb, it’s no wonder he feels getting ready is such a lengthy endeavour: all straps and buckles and tough layers that makes him the walking fortress he is. “I’ll be on time.”

He doesn’t reply: laconic only when he acknowledges your point as unequivocally right, which is seldom.

“Are you going to keep staring?” you snap as you sling the worn shirt from your body. Beneath the soft clothes is muscle hard-won through your frequent collaborations with the Armed Archaeologists in the Guild: days filled with more sparring and their stupid callisthenics than actually finding ruins.

“Do you have to dress right here?” he counters, but it’s a futile argument—this apartment is barely big enough for you as it stands. Currently, he’s situated by the doorway, but you’re on the unseen boundaries of the living room and the tiny kitchen. Beyond is your bedroom and miniscule bathroom, of which neither have enough space to move comfortably to change. And you certainly aren’t going to sacrifice your comfort to appease his poor eyes; he’s seen worse for sure. Though, you doubt he’s ever seen a naked body that wasn’t in the context of assassination and the anatomy classes you know he’s meticulously attended for his shady work. Surreptitiously, you snicker at the thought: that there aren’t any lovers lined up for this weirdo.

You toss the garment onto your couch, precisely because you know he’s grinding teeth over it; and there’s that tell-tale click of molar against molar. You even whistle a bit as you untie the neat bow holding your trousers to your hips; the fabric pools on the floor, and you don’t make any move to pick it up.

There it is. His glower—red-hot and piercing through the flesh and sinew of your back—is heavy in this small space. What you don’t see, however, is how his eyes flicker briefly across your body, down the firm step of your legs as you step out of the trousers. Out of context, watching muscle ripple and twist as you strip forces crimson to seep into his face. This is an implication he’s absolutely disgusted with—with you.

“If you have any more input as to what I do in my home, you’re welcome to pay my rent first,” you finally deign to reply, rummaging in the dresser in your hallway—which he knows has never been neat with all the clothes spilling from the edges. His eye twitches.

“You’re an incorrigible man,” he retorts, carmine flush now from irritation rather than anything else. Irritation from the beginning, because it was never anything else.

“Wow,” you blink, weighing your options between shirt A and shirt B. The cherry-red with straps, or the Prussian blue with straps, you muse, holding the shirts against your beloved grey cargoes. “You sound exactly like my professor. Same adjective and everything.”

When it comes to shameless people, there comes the very real risk of insults being nullified by the insulted through them simply agreeing.

“No wonder the Guild kicked you out.” As you’re pulling the scarlet fabric over your head, you pause—it seems he’s finally hit a nerve. There’s a rare smile toying with his lips at the victory: one he doesn’t notice, but ghosts across his face nonetheless.

Now, there are many things you could reply to that with. Such as, did your parents give you a reason when they abandoned you? Nay, that is too low of a blow. No wonder you don’t have any friends. But he probably grapples with that bitter reality each morning, gnashing his teeth and beating his chest.

“Bold of you to speak of being unwanted,” you comment matter-of-factly. Both insults it is then, wrapped neatly into an ambiguous tale of these eight words. His smile fades.

With a slight gasp, you finally wrangle the tight material on—it’s armour, after all, a specific textile development by the Yaoqing for the protection of civilians and tourists alike, though you aren’t considered a tourist by your special work-abacus-plaque. It fits snugly against you: straps for knives sit tight against your forearms, while the harness that provides extra support for your torso rests neatly beneath your chest. The garb’s almost like a compression shirt from your home planet, except the Yaoqing has far more violent uses for it.

“Didn’t Guard Zhí reject you?” He bites out, and it takes a minute for you to realise he’s talking about Zhí Hua, the best friend you’d made on the flagship—and your Shadow Guard drinking buddy.

“Huh?” Dumbfoundedly, you pause in doing the buckles on your trousers, losing far more time than you’d bargained for. “A-hua is my friend.”

The diminutive doesn’t go unnoticed, which rankles him far more than falling prey to the rumour about you and his fellow Guard. No, both rankle him—likely because hearing about a workplace romance about you just disgusts him in general.

“Pfft,” you snort out, finally done with the laborious task of adjusting the materiel and various other gadgets attached to your body. “I have got to tell her about this. Who knew your ability to gather information would be stopped by a rumour?”

The tightness in his chest lessens somewhat.

“Besides, everyone already knows my heart belongs to the Madam General,” you sigh, clasping your hands to your chest in a dreamy gesture. It’s an ongoing joke: you professing your deep adoration of Feixiao after she gives you a pay raise for putting up with the so-called ‘reticent’ Moze. “Woah, what’s with the sour look?”

“Gross,” he mutters.

As you step near the doorway to grab your boots, you lean into his space mockingly: and he recoils back in even more revulsion.

“Of course, you wouldn’t know.” You pat his shoulder once, condescendingly, then promptly slip your heavy boots off the shelf. “Since there’s no one who loves you.”

And his glare as you shuffle your shoes on is poignant.

₊ ⋆ ☾

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