#moyaku | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

narcjsistx · 4 months ago

Note

Hi! I'd like to request headcanons or small fic (whatever you prefer I'm fine with anything) for Ran Haitani (teen) with a crush that's getting bullied for liking him because others think the reader/crush doesn't match "Ran's" level?

I hope I explained this well but in case it's confusing... I'm really sorry🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

— At your level

The hall is crowded, a river of students moving in scattered groups, some laughing and joking, some pushing the other with light elbows, some dragging themselves at a slow pace, still half asleep. The voices mix, creating a continuous buzz that bounces between the walls covered with noticeboards and school posters. As I walk through the school hall, I feel the eyes of some classmates resting on me, like pinpricks piercing the air thick with chatter and muffled laughter

Someone turns around, I notice it out of the corner of my eye, and immediately lowers his gaze as soon as he meets mine. Others whisper among themselves, and even if I don't hear the words, I know very well that I am occupying their conversations. The incessant shouting seems to become more intense as I get closer to the small groups scattered here and there. The unspoken words weigh like boulders, they slip into my ears, and I realize that every look I feel on me is full of assumptions, half-truths, gossip whispered in the corridors and bathrooms

"I wonder if she ever sees herself in a mirror! Really, she thinks she's some kind of deity to point right at him?" — "I feel sorry for her. I would never want to receive such a strong no from him. You know, it's him!"

There is no need for anyone to say anything openly; the mischievous smiles, the fleeting eyes, the way they narrow together when I pass are already eloquent enough. I am a cumbersome presence, a figure that attracts attention even when I would like to be invisible. I continue walking, keeping my face impassive, as if I don't notice anything, even if each step seems to mark the rhythm of their silent judgments

Every step I take weighs on me more and more, and not only because I feel the gazes on me, it's as if every day the weight of my mistake becomes more unbearable. Six months ago I would never have imagined that I would end up like this, at the center of these poisonous gossip. If only I hadn't made everything so obvious that day... If only I had kept my mouth shut or handled the situation better, I wouldn't be here now feeling judged at every turn, a victim of their hissy comments and fake smiles. I regret it more and more. It's a feeling that grows inside me like a weed, that envelops everything and leaves me no respite. I can't stop thinking about how I could have avoided all of this. All it took was a little more discretion, a little more silence. Maybe if I had been smarter, I could now just walk down this hall without feeling like a circus animal in front of everyone's eyes

I can't help but move forward, trying to keep my head up, even if inside I just feel more tired and wanting to disappear

“Y/n Chan, Y/n Chan!” a voice shouts behind me, and before I turn I find Moyaku, a girl two years younger than me who is nevertheless the only one who doesn't bother me "Y/n Chan! I finally managed to get the melonpan, here " says the girl, handing me the sweet that I said I wanted so much in a text message last night. I take the treat and smile at her, silently thanking her. She smiles back at me and decides to walk beside me, since this morning we have lessons in two nearby classes "Usual comments...?" the girl asks in a low voice, noticing the whispers of the other people "The usual ones" I say listlessly, biting a piece of the melonpan. We walk a little further in silence

"For me you could ask your half brother" says Moyaku, but I shake my head "Mamoru already said that I have to manage on my own" I say, but the girl next to me sighs "He only says that because he's afraid of getting into trouble with the Haitans since he's in that Toman thing. Damn though, he's your relative! He should protect you" says the girl but I laugh a little at her comment "He doesn't even consider me his sister... forget it, really" I say throwing away the waste paper dessert in a basket, biting the last piece

"I would defend you if I had the chance... but they never listen to the little ones" says Moyaku, but I grab her hand caressing it "You don't have to do anything, really. I appreciate your presence" I say with a smile, and she seems to want to end the conversation. We say goodbye and everyone goes into their own classroom

While the other kids enter the classroom, I sit at my desk and watch the rain of backpacks landing noisily on the tables, while voices quickly fill the air. My thoughts, however, are far away, anchored to that precise moment six months ago, when everything change

I'm in my third year and, looking back, I realize how absurd it seems to me that something that happened so recently could have transformed my school life so much. For almost two whole years I had been carrying a secret crush on Ran Haitani, the boy that all girls notice, the one who doesn't go unnoticed even when he does nothing to attract attention. Ran is popular, almost unattainable, a year older than me. I met him when I was only in my first year, still insecure and disoriented in the school corridors

He was different from all the others, and not only because he was already well established and known, but for his efficiency, for how he moved with confidence, especially during training sessions at the sports club. He practices running, and is good, or rather, very good. It's impossible not to notice him, with those fast and precise steps, the sweat sliding down his forehead as he passes the others as if nothing had happened. He was so charming, unreachable. Maybe it was precisely this that made me fall in love with him: that security, that aura that surrounded him

Then there was that period in which he lived near me, a lucky coincidence, which allowed me to see him every morning. We took the same route to school, me, him and his brother Rindou. Even though we didn't talk much, those moments were precious to me. They were little fragments of normality that made me daydream, made me hope that, maybe, one day, he would notice something more in me

Finally, after a long time keeping those feelings in secret, six months ago I took all my courage and declared myself. My heart was pounding so hard I thought I was going to faint. I was so sure that he would reject me, that he would say no gently and leave me to pick up the pieces of my pride. But it didn't happen that way. He didn't say no, but he didn't say yes either. He simply said he had to think about it, and I, with a lump in my throat, accepted that answer, hoping, dreaming that time would work in my favor

But something went wrong. In a short time, the news of my declaration went around the school, becoming a topic of gossip. I had declared myself to Ran Haitani, someone like him, out of my league. And now, I'm here, every day, paying the price for that choice, a victim of comments and giggles, regretting not having kept to myself those feelings that now only seem like a weapon against me

I often find myself wondering what my life would have been like if he had said yes. Maybe everything would be different now. Maybe I would walk the halls with a more confident smile, knowing that my heart was not broken, but welcomed. I imagine myself talking to him between lessons, laughing together, hearing those jokes that always made me smile when, every now and then, we happened to talk during those short journeys to school. But it didn't happen that way. The reality is that he doesn't talk to me anymore, and that "I have to think about it" that had left me hanging turned out, over time, to be just a polite way of saying no without openly hurting me. It's painful to admit it, but I can no longer hide behind illusions or empty hopes

After all, if he really wanted to say yes to me, he would have done it. Instead, it left me hanging on by a thin thread, which eventually broke. The silence that followed was even more eloquent than any words. With each passing day, I realized that his "I have to think about it" was nothing more than a sweet lie to make me believe that there was still a possibility, because in addition to being handsome he is also an asshole if he wants to be. Now, as I watch the other guys enter the classroom, with their seemingly simple and uncomplicated lives, I realize that I cannot change what has happened. That's how it happened, and I have to accept it. I have to stop tormenting myself with the "ifs" and "buts", because the truth is that he chose to walk away

The lesson begins and I try to concentrate. I take notes, the sound of the pen sliding on the paper is almost relaxing, a rhythm that keeps me anchored to reality while the teacher's voice fills the classroom. I try not to think about anything else, I immerse myself in the written words, in the explanation I'm trying to follow, even if every now and then my mind wanders, inevitably returning to those thoughts that I would prefer to avoid. But time passes and, after a few hours, we finally have the chance to go out

I leave the classroom and stop for a moment, letting the other students pass me. When I look up, I see something that makes my eyes widen. Moyaku is outside his class and is talking to Rindou Haitani, Ran's brother. I can't believe what I see. The two of them have never had contact before, at least not that I know of. Moyaku never told me about him, and I certainly wouldn't have guessed that they knew each other, let alone had anything to discuss. Also, Rindou is a fourth year and my friend is a first year. Yet, there they were, completely engrossed in the conversation. They seem so focused, so serious. I stop for a moment, unsure whether to get closer or stay away. Something inside me stirs, a curiosity mixed with a slight sense of apprehension. Why are they talking? What is it about?

As I continue to stare at Moyaku and Rindou, I notice that she sees me. His eyes meet mine, and for a moment he seems to freeze. Then, with a speed that surprises me, he moves away from Rindou and towards me. His pace is slightly hurried, and when he gets close to me, I notice a hint of agitation in his gaze. Still, he smiles at me, that smile I know well, one that tries to reassure me. I decide not to ask questions. If it were something important, she would have told me something right away, or at least that's what I tell myself to calm the curiosity gnawing inside me. Instead, we start chatting about this and that as we walk together towards the canteen. We talk about the usual things: homework, teachers, some jokes about our classmates. I try to let myself go into the conversation, but part of me keeps thinking about that moment outside of class, that dialogue between her and Rindou that I can't get out of my head

The hours pass quickly, between lessons and notes, and before I know it, it's almost time to go home. I gather my things and head towards the exit, when suddenly Moyaku joins me. She doesn't say anything, but hands me a note with a certain urgency, as if she's afraid to think about it again at the last moment. Her eyes are shifty, and before I can say anything, she turns and runs away, heading for the school gate. I stand there, ticket in hand, confused and slightly worried. What does all this mean? I look around, trying to see if anyone has noticed the scene, but everyone seems too busy thinking about their day to pay attention to us

With my heart beating a little faster, I slowly open the note "At 5.30pm in the hall in front of the Chemistry classroom on the third floor. I may be slightly late, so please wait a few minutes"

I open the note with slightly trembling hands, and begin to read. The message is short, almost hasty, but its content leaves me confused. It could very well be a joke, I think to myself, another attempt by the students to prank me and make me feel even more out of place than I already do. No explanation, no clue as to who might have written it or why I should show up there. My first reaction is to ignore it. It could just be another way to humiliate me, to make me wait in vain in front of an empty classroom, perhaps with someone hiding around the corner ready to laugh at me. But then, as I reflect, I realize that I don't have much to lose: my reputation is already in tatters, the rumors about me and Ran continue to circulate, and at this point, one more humiliation wouldn't change much. Maybe it's just curiosity, or maybe it's the desire to know if there's something more behind the note

So, with a mixture of anxiety and resignation, I head towards the classroom. It's almost time until the appointed time, and as I get closer, I feel my heart beating faster. It's the last class of the day for fourth and second years, and I know the students will be leaving soon. I lean against the wall opposite the door, trying not to attract too much attention, even though I know it's inevitable that someone will notice me. Minutes pass, and eventually, as expected, students begin to leave the room. I watch them pass in front of me, but no one seems to notice my presence. It's 5.40pm, and I'm starting to think I've been the victim of a bad joke. I feel silly, and the thought of leaving becomes stronger and stronger

Just as I'm about to walk away, I suddenly feel an arm come around my shoulders. The contact is surprising, almost comforting, but it makes me jump. My heart speeds up even more as I slowly turn to see who the person is who decided to approach me in that unexpected way

My heart stops for a moment when I turn and see that it's him, Ran. I never imagined he would be here, in front of me, at a time like this. His arm is placed on my shoulders with a disarming ease, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, as he pulls me closer to him. His face is calm, that usual relaxed look that characterizes him, as if there is nothing strange or out of the ordinary in what he is doing. I, on the other hand, am anything but calm: a tornado of emotions stirs inside me: surprise, confusion, a slight hint of panic. I can't understand why he's doing this. It's as if everything around us has stopped. I can feel the eyes of the other students fixed on us, I see them turn, almost paralyzed with surprise. The corridor, which until a moment ago was filled with constant chatter, is now immersed in an unnatural silence, broken only by the distant sound of someone's footsteps walking away

The closeness between us is almost unreal, and I feel the warmth of his arm holding me tighter, as if he wants to protect us both from the curious and judging gazes that surround us. But I can't help but wonder if this is all just another illusion, another twist of fate that will end up breaking my heart "Don't worry doll, let me talk"he says with an even stranger ease

I just look at him, trying to read something in his eyes, something that will give me a clue. What is he saying? What the fuck is going on?

"I don't care who you are, whether you're first or last year. I'm engaged so leave me alone" he says, raising his voice slightly, and if before the hall was silent, now people aren't even breathing anymore

I am left completely frozen in place as his words hit me like lightning. I can't immediately process the meaning of what he said. The world seems to spin more slowly as his words echo in my head, trying to make sense. What do you mean? Is he telling everyone to stop bothering him, or... is he really talking about me?. His tone is firm, almost irritated, as if he is tired of all this, yet his grip on my shoulders remains firm, almost protective. But it is precisely this contradiction that confuses me the most. Why is he saying these things? And above all, why is he doing it this way, in front of everyone? I feel the gazes of others around us becoming even more intense, I sense the murmur starting to grow around us, but it's as if I'm in a bubble, isolated from everything that's happening. My heart is pounding in my chest, and I can't find the words, not even to ask for explanations

I am suspended in a limbo of conflicting emotions: disbelief, hope, confusion. I wonder if he's trying to protect me, to stop the gossip, or if this is just a way to get rid of me once and for all. And as I stand there, motionless, with my mind spinning, the only thing I can do is look at him

"A little sudden right? Sorry doll. So, what were you saying that Wednesday?" he says, returning his gaze to me, as if the impossible hadn't just happened "Eh? That Wednesday?" I ask perplexed "The day you declared yourself" he says, smiling innocently at me, even if innocent is the last adjective to describe him. I desperately try to understand what is really behind his words that have just turned my whole world upside down. Do he really remember the exact day I declared myself? And above all, why does he want to continue the discussion?

"Look, declarations of love make me anxious even though I'm big and vaccinated, and yes, it took me six months to understand everything properly. Is it possible that that little friend of yours didn't tell you anything? Hell, I should have sent Rindou directly to you. .." he says playing with his braid, and strangely I see him a little anxious

And it is from his words that I connect Rindou and Moyaku's meeting this morning. Rindou asked her something about me...? "What did Rindou ask Moyaku?" I ask in surprise "No big deal, if you just still liked me" he says motioning for me to start walking, without removing his arm from around my shoulders. I look at him in surprise, and reconnect things for a moment: Ran asked Rindou to talk to Moyaku, my only friend, if he knew if I still liked him. Is he making fun of me and is he actually serious?

"I don't understand why you have to ridicule me in front of the whole school, I know how to accept a no! I did it for six months without telling you anything..." I say lowering my gaze, but I hear him chuckling "Trust me, if I wanted to make you ridiculous, I would have done it in more sadistic ways" he says and on the one hand I believe him

We remain silent for the entire journey as we arrive at the school gate. "So?" he asks “So what?” I ask, clutching my school bag "Are we a couple or not?" he asks nonchalantly

The temptation to run away and forget everything is great, but my heart beating faster than expected makes me remain immobile "I know, six months is a bit... but we just need to get there sooner or later, right? Then the your friend confirmed to Rindou that you still like me" he says with a certain seriousness "Six months of teasing is a lot, Ran" I say anxiously playing with my hands, which however he grabs, bringing one to his lips, which he kisses delicately" I don't think they'll bother you anymore considering who is your boyfriend now. We can make up six months in a week" he says letting go my hand, where I feel the part he kissed burning

"We can try... I think" I say while trying to hide the enthusiasm and even a little embarrassment I feel at the moment. I can't believe this is happening right now "Try it? We're already a couple. I never take back what I say publicly" he says grabbing my hand, pulling me towards his motorbike "Come, we have to prove that I'm on your level and that I too can be with a fantastic person"

128 notes · View notes

ograndebatata · 4 years ago

Text

Thoughts on ‘The Lightning Warrior’

Well... I’m well aware that I don’t usually do these episode reviews of sorts... but I’ve been looking forward to this episode for an awfully long time, and ultimately enjoyed it enough that I felt I should share my thoughts here.

Disclaimer: Any thoughts presented below are purely my own opinion. Some of those opinions will be drawn from scenes that take place in series, or my own personal interpretations on what may or may not have gone on behind the scenes, but they are still only my opinions.

Also, one part of this review will delve into VERY DARK elements and implications, so if you’d rather not see them, please, DO NOT click the read more.

I apologize about it, but... well... it’s just related to a conclusion I came to regarding the episode, and I didn’t want to lie about my thoughts on this matter.

I’m sorry.

With that said, here they come.

First of all, in general terms, I just simply loved the episode. Seriously, it was great. I simply loved seeing Victor and Carla again, and I found that the whole plot point of them needing to help Elena was a logical path to take, and was executed really well. There were funny moments, Victor and Carla recognized their own wrongs, we got more fun characters to add to the EverRealm’s universe, and we got to see believable positive developments in their dynamics with Elena.

Granted, some might say that Elena went a bit too far with her aggressiveness towards them, but as much as I am a fan of Victor and Carla, I don’t fault her for being so suspicious, given everything they did to her in the past. And Elena herself admitted that she was wrong, so that’s a plus.

Also, their song? Absolutely precious.

And the squad pose in the ending scene? Looks epic.

Now... breaking things down a bit more into some specific subcategories...

THE GREAT

- The partial return to way back when

Well... as I said earlier on, I simply loved seeing Victor and Carla return. I will admit, they didn’t exactly become my favorite characters from their first appearance, but I slowly grew to care more for them as time went on. Then Snow Place Like Home came out with that wonderful display of their bond and my feels for them suddenly got a huge boost, which only grew in the following episodes with them both. They all came to a head in The Magic Within, where Victor was petrified and Carla was left completely alone for the first time in her life and, I won’t lie, I genuinely got afraid they would be leaving the series that way, Victor petrified and forgotten, and Carla left to rot in the dungeon.

I understand that they both were villains for a long time, but they just never seemed cruel enough to deserve such a fate, and even if they had been... well... some things are too bad to happen to anyone.

Fortunately, this wasn’t the case here. We got to see them return. We got to see them be together again. We got to see more of their bond, which is just beyond pure and precious, We got to see them singing a wonderful song together about better times. We got to see them actually showcasing the change in their ways. And we got to see them receive a second chance and making good use of it.

The stand-out elements would have to be Victor’s reminsicing about the past and the way he and Carla were willing to help with Ash... but really, every last bit of it was wonderful.

- Close parallels and steps to a new chance

While I went on about Victor and Carla’s development, I liked how we got to see more of this from Elena’s end. As harsh as she may have been at points (not unjustifiably so) and how it took her time to accept that Victor and Carla were being sincere in their attempt at changing, she still shows her empathy when joining into Victor and Carla’s song, and conveys how she can relate to them by longing for a time when things were simpler.

Yes, she still took time to fully give it, but given what they did to her, it’s understandable she’d be resistant to it. I do think there’s one point where she went too far, which I’ll further discuss down below, but at least she showed once more she’s willing to realize the error of her own ways. Which is one of the great things about her.

- A hero and former villains duet

I’m not kidding here. Way Back When seriously already made its way into my top favorites. Like, between the sweet music and lyrics, the sheer longing for the simpler times that Victor and Carla - and later Elena - all share, getting to see younger!Victor with child!Carla in those flashbacks... seriously, I just found it great.

- A shockingly hilarious title character.

Ixlan was priceless. That’s all I can say.

That over-the-top deadpan and stoic personality, that brutal honesty, the way she thinks with her fists... well, it just makes for a combination that I found hilarious.

That said, beyond the humor, I liked how she has actual depth to her, most notably when she can see past first impressions and comes to admit Elena is a good leader, and her dedication to protecting the place where her home used to be.

- Monstro’s Maruvian counterpart

The Moyaku was yet another great. I liked her design - while seemingly being a shout-out to Monstro, she was distinctive enough in her own right, and had a really interesting design. I liked the way it and the general adventure with her reminded me of Pinocchio and the escape he and Geppetto made from Monstro (down to the sneezing) while still being its own thing, and it certainly was a relief to see that the Moyaku seems to have much less of a temper and can admit defeat.

I also liked the way escaping her insides involved both a throwback to the cooking scene and Elena putting her trust in Victor and Carla.

- Naomi’s character development

It was a subtle thing, but I liked how Naomi, like Elena, actually proved she can change her mindset and actually learn to give people a chance.

Also, she was hilarious in that scene involving the dish Victor and Carla cooked.

That’s all.

THE TROUBLESOME

- The pseudo-corpse that stayed there

Well... to give another disclaimer here, I’m NOT one of those people who believes Elena is a heartless monster, or that she’s somehow on the path to becoming evil.

That said, I did find it problematic how she moved Victor to the dungeon, and to top it off, how she seemed to have no intention of ever depetrifying him until Quita Moz said it would take malvagos to break the spell entrapping Ixlan.

I’m not trying to deny that Victor was a villain, and I’m not trying to deny that he endangered Elena. It’s just... there are limits, and leaving Victor petrified and in the dungeon crosses two.

For one, the fact that Carla basically had to deal with seeing what might as well be her father’s corpse every day for who knew how long. Granted, it’s not actually a corpse, but still, when you think about it, it’s beyond disturbing. The only way I could accept her having done that is if Carla somehow asked for him to be there. Because otherwise, even if Elena wanted to move him out of the garden to keep the statue safer, she looks like she has a big enough palace to put him somewhere else. I mean, we even see she even had spare dungeon cells. Honestly, this is just... well, problematic. Especially because Elena said she’d deal with Carla later way back in The Magic Within... and yet, if this episode is anything to go by, she wouldn’t have done anything about this whole situation if she hadn’t needed Victor and Carla.

It just... It just doesn’t look good, I feel.

For another... well... at the risk of sounding dark... there’s the fact that, in this universe, petrification can be seen as potentially worse than death.

If this sounds like it doesn’t make sense, let me explain why I have this opinon. We know that an afterlife exists in this universe. We know that people move on there when they die. And we know that people who get petrified have no awareness of anything until they get depetrified, which was visible with Fiero in Rise of the Sorceress and Victor in this very episode. So, if Victor had stayed petrified, he would have been separated from Carla for all eternity. At least Elena will get to reunite with her parents when she dies, if not before then. If Victor hadn’t been depetrified, Carla would never have seen him again.

Again, I’m not saying Elena is a monster who was deliberately torturing Carla with that. She possibly - even likely - may not have thought this through. But still.. I just can’t help but see it as problematic.

- Isolation is not a joke

Well... this one is something may just resonate too personally a bit too much, but I will confess I didn’t like the way Elena just automatically sent Victor and Carla off to Soledad Island, and how Carla just joked about it, on two fronts.

First, after the overwhelming isolation she appears to have endured, I’m not sure it’s in-character for her to make that kind of joke.

Second, after what happened in recent months, and to a degree is still going on today, I got to experience first-hand what even much less severe social isolation can do.

I will cut this one quite a lot of slack, because the episode was made before the Coronavirus Pandemic became a thing, and this is still a show for children, but still... it feels genuinely off to see isolation played for laughs so much when I know from personal experience how even less severe one can be damaging. And it similarly feels the same way when looking back at certain characters’ previous fates, like the Chiki-Chiki in The Last Laugh.

Hopefully later shows will learn from this. I do understand why they would want to keep a measure of ‘downplayed realistic elements’ for the sake of storytelling, but still, I hope they learn this lesson from this era.

THE DIVISIVE

- Changes in magic brand

Well... again, I will partially admit I may be biased here, especially given the path I took in my fanfic AU... but honestly, looking at actual canon, I think that Victor and Carla ceasing to be malvagos was not a good idea.

First of all, the episode just showed how useful it was to have malvagos on the good side. Without that, Ixlan would presumably have stayed imprisoned for eternity. It doesn’t make sense to throw that way, especially because now there will be no one to undo Ash’s evil spells if she uses something comparable to what trapped Ixlan.

Second... we never actually get to see a proper reason that would justify them wanting to learn good magic. Despite there being a few differences, malvago and wizard magic seem to largely overlap. And there was no in-universe reference or explanation that being a malvago by itself is somehow psychologically damaging. Victor and Carla had their personalities stay the same even though they were malvagos for around a year, so there’s no sign of it ‘bringing about issues’.

Third... well... this is just my general opinion, but I confess I’m one of those who just thinks it would be more ‘narratively interesting’ and would ‘further set them apart’ if Victor and Carla had stayed malvagos (whether they wanted to change back or not) and ended up learning to use dark magic for better purposes - which well, this very episode proved it can be done, even if only in rare circunstances. And again, for the most part, dark and light magic seems to overalp.

But this is just me.

THE CONCLUSION

A great episode. It had a few ‘iffier’ spots, but overall, it was still a great episode. If all the episodes that will still come are as good as this one, the series will have a great ending indeed.

#elena of avalor #spoilers #the lightning warrior #tw: darkness #tw: disturbing content

9 notes · View notes