#movie review in 700 words or less

[the-dog-watch]

Clarissa Oakes/The Truelove

This book begins with Jack still smarting from the events of the previous book, utterly peevish and miserable; he starts by enumerating all the ways he's been hard done by the crew, even Stephen. He resents being "manipulated" into bringing Padeen onto the crew, which...I can't quite call it inaccurate but it is a very funny way to describe your best friend narrowly escaping death, yet again, while fully dressed in clown makeup, yet again. I wouldn't call Stephen's brand of getting what he wants manipulation, it's more like an extremely unlucky type of laughing chance. "If the accident will," as Kurt Vonnegut said, and the accident surely did will Padeen on board the ship again.

It all boils down to sexual jealousy; everyone's been off sucking and fucking and Jack meanwhile was getting jerked around by Amanda Smith part deux. Nothing less than he deserves, of course, but it does explain a lot. There's an awkwardness between him and Stephen that persists especially in the beginning of this book. They tiptoe around each other in the aftermath of their argument, with each of them trying to be tactful but still managing to get on the other’s nerves. For a relationship that was quite literally founded on the promise of future violence, they're always so reluctant to cause each other the slightest pain. I suppose that’s the reason they so easily fall into this pattern of deferred conflict; even when they come to blows (figuratively, in this case) they can never actually make themselves pull the trigger or push the blade in when it comes to the fateful moment. Their affection is always too strong and the conflict is always put off as far in the future as possible.

I just can’t get over this scene where Stephen is examining Jack (due to his “peccant liver”) and it’s a good example both of how much they care for each other and also how they can’t stop annoying each other. From page 8:

"Stephen, surely you would not call me middle-aged, would you?"

"Navigators are notoriously short-lived, and for them middle-age comes sooner than for quiet abstemious country gentlemen. Jack, you have led as unhealthy a life as can well be imagined, perpetually exposed to the falling damps, often wet to the skin, called up at all hours of the night by that infernal bell. You have been wounded the Dear knows how many times, and you have been cruelly overworked. No wonder your hair is grey."

"My hair is not grey. It is a very becoming buttercup-yellow."

Jack wore his hair long, clubbed and tied with a broad black bow. Stephen plucked the bow loose and brought the far end of the plait round before his eyes.

"Well I'm damned," said Jack, looking right at it in the sunlight. "Well I'm damned; you are quite right. There are several grey hairs...scores of grey hairs. It is positively grizzled, like a badger-pie. I had never noticed."

Six bells.

"Will I tell you something more cheerful?" asked Stephen.

"Please do," said Jack, looking up from his queue with that singularly sweet smile Stephen had known from their earliest acquaintance.

I read that passage to a friend of mine after I made him watch the movie with me and he was like "what the FUCK." I like to expose other people, unversed in the Aubrey/Maturin series, and watch them utterly boggle at what we are witnessing, like exposing someone with no tolerance to a deadly poison. “Singularly sweet smile.” Good christ. You've never mentioned thinking that Jack has a sweet smile before, Stephen, I simply had to infer that you thought so from your every word and action for the past 10 years and 15 books.

Anyway. Jack's bad mood doesn’t survive an encounter with the stowaway title character, who I feel remiss in not mentioning till 700 odd words into this review. CLARISSA OAKES, a woman who is hard done by the world, both in-fiction and metatextually since the cowardly dogs who put out the US edition removed her name from the title. I’m starting to think misogyny is real and maybe is still with us to this day….

To be honest, I was really leery of Clarissa’s whole plotline when I read descriptions of it in other reviews of this book. She was sexually abused by her guardian as a child and later becomes a sex worker at a brothel in London, and in telling Stephen about one of her clients she puts him onto a break in his big case. The naval intelligence connection and the entire escapade on Moahu end up feeling incidental; the real attraction of this book for me is Clarissa, both watching the deterioration of all her shipboard relations and the real warmth and affection that springs up between her and Stephen. I think Stephen describes her at one point as combining worldliness with a certain naivete; she's both attractive and likable and yet for all that her viciousness and remoteness are what alienate her from others. She reminds me a lot of Stephen himself, to be honest. 

I knew it was coming but the scene where she reveals the abuse she suffered as a child is surprising because it feels so spontaneous and perfectly natural. O'Brian captures that fleeting feeling where you can suddenly find yourself telling someone you barely know things you've never spoken of to anyone else in your life. She's drawn to Stephen for one of the qualities I've always admired about him: his steadfast commitment to our National (International??) No Snitching Policy. They’re united in their hatred of impertinent questions! “You should be addicted to shutting the fuck up.” They embody this beautifully, and it leads to a very lovely friendship.

I mentioned last time that, for all the joy in The Nutmeg of Consolation, there was a real sense of dread or foreboding which is even more prominent here. I kept bracing myself for something awful to happen to Clarissa for the whole book. I think in a more traditional narrative something more character arc-y might have happened with her; maybe her promiscuousness would have had consequences and things would have come to a head.

I suppose you could call it another example of deferred conflict: nothing awful happens to her. She sails away in the end. Her marriage is mostly joyless, but she is certainly better off than she was before, and has the possibility of a future and maybe real happiness, and it’s almost certain that we haven't seen the last of her.

Deferral of conflict doesn't have to mean deferral of catharsis. It's like a Cinderella story, right down to the pivotal scene of getting Clarissa a new dress. She doesn't grow or change, really, but there is a real satisfaction in her defiant ability to just live and survive. The affection between her and Stephen is what sells it I think—the scene where he's running late for dinner (again) and she helps him dress is so charming—and the book ends with their bittersweet parting.

And that's that! Don't really have much to add about the little colonial adventure on Moahu here, other than to say that the ad copy, if the not the text of the books themselves, is always playing up the "head-hunting cannibals" aspect of the Pacific Islanders in a way that is exoticizing at the very least and downright racist at worst, and yet no Polynesian character we've ever met in these novel has been even close to as unpleasant as any of the white people we met in Boston when Jack and Stephen were POWs there in The Fortune of War. Give me the man soup any day before sending me back to Beantown again, I beg you!

NEXT TIME: Homeric seas. Literal islands forming from fiery volcanoes in front of our eyes. And an even scarier natural phenomenon than that: gradually drifting apart from a friend you used to be close with. 🙀 See you then!

PERSONAL RANKING

The Far Side of the World (10) > HMS Surprise (3) > Desolation Island (5) > The Reverse of the Medal (11) > The Nutmeg of Consolation (14) > The Ionian Mission (8) > The Fortune of War (6) > Clarissa Oakes/The Truelove (15) > Master & Commander (1) > The Surgeon’s Mate (7) > Treason's Harbour (9) > The Letter of Marque (12) > The Thirteen-Gun Salute (13) > Post Captain (2) > The Mauritius Command (4)

[callmebrycelee]

Movie Review in 700 Words or Less: Ready or Not (2019)

I’ve never been married before, but I’ve heard a lot of stories from my friends involving their rather interesting relationships with their spouses’ families. Ready or Not - directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillet also known as Radio Silence - explores the hardships (and perils) associated with marrying into a wealthy family. When Grace (Samara Weaving) marries into the Le Domas family, who have made millions off of selling card games and board games and acquiring professional sports teams, she learns she has to participate in a time-honored Le Domas family tradition: Game Night. The rules are simple: Grace must draw a card and whichever game is listed on the card (Old Maid, chess, etc.), that is the game she will play alongside the other Le Domas family members that include her new husband, Alex (Mark O’Brien), patriarch and matriarch, Tony and Becky (Henry Czerny and Andie MacDowell), their other children Daniel and Emilie (Adam Brody and Melanie Scrofano), Tony’s sister Helene (Nicky Guadagni) and Daniel and Emilie’s spouses, Fitch and Charity (Kristian Bruun and Elyse Levesque). When Fitch and Charity joined the family, they had to play Old Maid and chess, respectively, but when Grace draws the Hide and Seek card, she enters, unwittingly, into a game of cat and mouse.

Soon Grace is running around the creepy and cool Le Domas mansion trying to avoid being hunted down and sacrificed to Satan by her new in-laws. While Grace is the heroine of the movie, if you are expecting her to take down each member of the Le Domas clan à la assassin Beatrix Kiddo in Kill Bill or the survivalist Erin in You’re Next, that is not what Ready or Not is all about. Instead, Grace is like us, the viewer, and a lot of her choices are made out of fear and often times result in her being shot in the hand or stabbed in the shoulder. Even though Grace is not the total kickass badass many were expecting her to be, it is quite entertaining watching her outsmart the members of the Le Domas family all the while donning a bloodied wedding dress.

Ready or Not’s script is pretty solid, but my favorite part of the film is actually the characters. Each member of the Le Domas family, even the kids, are given a unique POV which influences every move they make. The film explores wealth and how it affects the people who have it. For Aunt Helene, her husband was killed and sacrificed the last time the Hide and Seek card was drawn. Her view is if she can survive losing the love of her life, so can her nephew Alex. Becky is a bit more sympathetic towards Grace since she, too, married into the family – but make no mistake, she will do anything in her power to protect her family, even if that means sacrificing Grace. Daniel and Emilie are jaded by their wealth and use alcohol and drugs, respectively, to cope. Then there’s the Tony. Tony’s wealth comes from his parents and grandparents. He was born into wealth and has greatly benefited from that wealth. He will stop at nothing to maintain that wealth – even if it means hurting his children in the process. Yeah – they’re all awful, awful people but at least there’s a method behind their madness. Love them or hate them (I kind of love them), it’s refreshing to see fleshed out characters in a movie.

It goes without saying, I absolutely freaking love this movie. If Clue and Hunger Games got together and had a baby, that baby would be Ready or Not. Samara Weaving is a great protagonist and you are rooting for her every second of the movie. Perhaps one of my favorite parts of the movie is the ending. I won’t spoil it for those of you who have not seen the film but let’s just say it’s one of the most perfect endings to a film I have seen in quite some time. If you are seeking the perfect movie for the holidays, I highly suggest this movie. I promise you will not be able to hide the smile on your face.

[fourangers]

Hi Fourangers,

First of all, I love your blog so much. It's like going through a history back when Naruto Manga chapters were released weekly and your reviews were so Golden, Hilarious and spot-on. Am a new fan though (especially an SNS fan), I just got into this fandom only this year. I don't know if you'll answer my ask, but I just wanted to try and ask you few questions and I pray that you might answer me....

1. Since you've written in a post that you were active in the eastern part of the fandom, How was chapter 698 received in Japan? Because this is the chapter I inherently realized they both love each other. Yeah, I was too late but somehow whenever they interact with each other in previous chapters I always find them to be 'Weird' for just to be friends. Chapter 698 is just blatantly obvious that they love each other. Considering Homophobia and Shounen genre, I have no idea how it was perceived over there back then in 2014.

2. Which scene made you to ship SNS?

3. As an SNS'er how do you feel about the ending, where everyone was married off when they were just 19 just to make some shitty sequel??? As a new fan, I felt betrayed and It would've been perfect if they had stopped at chapter 699, leaving an open ending.

4. How do you face with the accusation about Naruto and Sasuke as brothers and we, SNS'ers are Incest shippers??? I don't care about that Indra and Ashura thing. But Naruto himself told he considers Sasuke as his Brother couple of times. And in Chapter 699, Sasuke acknowledged, 'He finally understood what it meant'.... It's the only thing that confuses me and I don't even have an answer!!! Plus, Kishi himself gave an interview that he based Sasuke on his Brother... I really wonder how he gave such an interview when he literally made them wear necklaces with each other's faces.

5. How was Naruto and Sasuke's sexuality perceived in the fandom back then??? Man!! Kishimoto just made lot of comic reliefs on their sexuality by making Sasuke on Sai jutsu, Naruto not interested in Icha Icha but making Reverse Harem no Jutsu, Naruto was angry when Konohamaru made Boy on Boy jutsu whereas he had no problem with him doing it. LOL. And all those homoerotic posters. What do you think about their sexuality, personally??

6. Why did Kishi had to develop their bond as Soulmates with some unintentional or intentional romantic undertones, if he was eventually going to pair them up with girls??? He easily could've gave many such romantic tropes to other girls and keep the bond between N and S as purely friendship or brothers. It still would've made sense.

7. Final one, Was Naruto really Nosebleeding when Kurama made a joke about Sasuke's kiss in Chapter 572???? We had a lot of heated discussion with other shippers where they claim that it was just a splotch of snot.

Sorry for the lengthy ask....... I am so eager to know your answers and I don't want to spam your ask box by sending multiple asks.

Thanks 😊😊😊

Hey yo! Welcome new SNS fan! I'm so glad that you joined us and I'll try to answer as best as I can. I'm not very active here on tumblr (except browsing lol) but your ask was such a delight to read.

1. I honestly don't remember. I think I didn't follow the japanese boards until the eventual 699-700 disaster. People were craving for reactions and I was curious about it too lol. And well...it's been years, I doubt I'll be able to find the reactions from that time. Imo, most readers don't care much about pairings, they just wanted to read about power-ups and abilities and the basic Naruto Vs Sasuke. Though there are some backhanded jokes about how gay Naruto is for Sasuke.

2. Hah. It's going to be very anti-climatic but it was when Naruto and Sakura were eating in Ichiraku Ramen. Naruto just used Rasenshuriken against Kakuzu and he busted his arm. Sakura was healing his arm and her attention was focused on Naruto. I used to be a NaruSaku shipper so I thought "Oh hey! This is the moment that Naruto would have a candid romantic moment!" But nope. He talked about Sasuke. And I was already getting suspicious about Sasuke's feelings towards Naruto ya know? And the whole "SASUKE IS MIINEEEEEE" in Orochimaru's lair. It was that moment I thought "you only have Sasuke in your head don't you, Naruto?" and started shipping SNS.

3. Hooo boy was I surprised when it was suddenly revealed that they had the basic heteronormative, boring marriage with bunch of clones of themselves. Everyone thought that it was almost like a bad fanfiction come true and some thought that it was fake. It was a pandemonium lolololol. I also thought that it was too lame to be true and lo and behold, when it came true I was floored. And then whenever Kishimoto threw new material, I got insanely pissed off because S*arada and B*ruto becoming pairing material is ok because they are a girl and a boy, and then they paralleled with Naruto and Sasuke which are only FRIENDS because they are both men. ARGH. Open ending was what Kishimoto planned from the very beginning but wrote a sequel to earn more money.

In that aspect, I made peace with it because of the whole anime/manga industry. I learned that, as a mangaka, you don't earn a lot of money with selling books, but rather with merchandise and profiting with sales right. And that guy have a family to raise, have two kids (which is hilarious about how B*ruto movie is his self-insert story), he needs a steady income. Also, I read reports about how anime studios are so poor and animators don't receive a decent income not to mention they are overstaffed and tired, and B*ruto is a good money cow for them to earn money so they can invest later on other anime they have more passion about it. So even though I hate this story with a strength of thousands suns, they are putting meal on people's tables and making them pay rents. I'm ok.

4. Lemme roll my eyes because in the Last movie they said that Hinata is related to Kaguya and so is the Uzumaki and Uchiha clan so they are all related woo hoo. But in the aspect of brothers because reincarnations bla bla bla, didn't Naruto himself said that he's no longer that brother, he's himself? Hmm...I gotta re-read it. One day. Maybe. lol. But I'm sure that he said "Sasuke is not my brother but I'm sure we'll understand well as friends" so there. Honestly, there are a lot of interviews out there and a lot of them are fake, so I'd always take the interviews with a grain of salt lololol. I do know from artbooks that Kishimoto wanted to create Sasuke as a rival-esque character and that was it. As he was developing Sasuke and Naruto's relationship, since he liked the whole yin-yang concept, whenever he wrote Naruto's story, Sasuke's was developed at the same time as his shadow.

5. I can tell from Naruto Forums (I used to participate back in that day) MOST of the non-shippers thought it was gay as hell, but you know...it was a relic of that time. While they thought it was gay, they didn't put too much thought about you know? Because it was shounen, and we knew that it was a joke that it couldn't be taken seriously. Of course, in the SNS fandom, we did make more analysis and there were a lot of instance when Naruto and Sasuke's sexuality was questioned. Some other non-shippers also thought that Naruto was totes gay for Sasuke (including a IRL friend).

Imo, Naruto is definitely bisexual in my view. Sasuke I think he's asexual or gay. He's attracted to Naruto, but mostly because of his connection to him, not because of his physical attributes, so yeah...asexual. Or Pansexual. Sasuke is more complicated lmao. Imo, Naruto could be pansexual too, come to think about it. Yeah, I guess both being pansexual can be valid.

6. He developed Naruto and Sasuke being soulmates from the very beginning, that was proven in his comments in artbooks and in the manga. He probably created with the intention of making it purely platonic, going beyond physical ties. Then he shot himself on the foot by drawing Naruto thinking about Sasuke on bed, talking about how Sasuke is cool, meanwhile Sasuke waxing poetic about how Naruto saved him. What gives? Lol. Yeah, I think he got too enamored writing their relationship that he didn't have time to write romantic ones. What I noticed that Sakura's popularity never was really high, so I could see some editors putting their fingers all over it and making her less relevant. Also, Kishimoto didn't know how to handle her, so when she got her time to shine was the whole fake confession disaster. Coupled with Kishimoto sexism and, in his words (Kurenai's flashback), women are useful to spout more babies, women was never really relevant in his story, unfortunately. Even Kaguya who was technically the big bad boss, was never really fleshed out in comparison to Madara. So the null het romantic moments it's not because he wanted to elevate SNS moments, it's more about how he's incompetent about it. It's either Hinata slowly elevating to a relevant status because forced interaction (Pain's sacrifice and Neji's death) or Sakura being obligated to be pining over Sasuke because she's a girl. It's even more painful to see that, if we ignore B*ruto, both girls are shown to be just talking with their kids and dusting shelves, basically being housewives, even though thorough the story (especially Sakura) it was implied that both of them have much more potential than being their husband accessories.

7. It was a splotch of snot. I can confirm myself lol. Whenever the chapter is out and fans would scan it to scanlate it, the editor usually would amp up contrast to max. So usually the lines get much more thicker than usual, when you read the official release which gets straight from the source, you can notice how the lines are more delicate.

Oh lol...but then we also have a lot of controversy about translating style. THAT one is a whole new can of worms to open.

Man I had fun answering your questions! Please send more :P

[thetypedwriter]

Imaginary Friend Book Review

Imaginary Friend by Stephen Chbosky Book Review 

This is undoubtedly the weirdest book I have ever read. 

You might be thinking… but, thetypedwriter you read fanfiction! This can’t be the weirdest thing you’ve ever read! Things like ABO universes exist!

You would think that, wouldn’t you?

But no. 

I shall endeavor to give you a spoiler free synopsis of the book first followed by my thoughts and criticism, but note that this is an endeavor for a reason. I have now explained this novel in depth to two different people, and both times I have found myself completely and irrevocably stuck on how to even begin, let alone end. 

With that forewarning, here we go. 

The novel surrounds a single mother and her young son moving to a small Pennsylvania town in order to escape the tragedies of their past that include the passing of her husband and her current abusive boyfriend. 

However, while things in their new home start out well-they find solutions to unemployment, poverty, the son’s dyslexia, etc, things start to go awry when Christopher, the son, is lured into the Mission Street Woods at the edge of town by a voice only he seems to be able to hear. 

As Christopher continues to listen to the voice in the form of a cloud, or a plastic bag, or even inside of his mind, he starts recruiting his friends to build a treehouse in the woods that will transport him to a different time and place. The voice, lovingly called the Nice Man, instructs him to finish the tree house by Christmas Day. 

Or else everyone will die. 

As Christopher struggles with newfound powers and responsibilities, coping with two different worlds, his mother struggles with her son’s sanity, the town struggles with anger, blame, and temptation, and what follows is the chaotic descent of a small town into the throes of good versus evil, love and loss, and most importantly, trying to differentiate what is real versus what is imaginary. 

In the simplest terms possible (a facetious statement if there ever was one), I thought this was going to be a thriller mystery book about a single mother and her young seven-year-old son Christopher leaving their home and her abhorrent abusive boyfriend in order to start a new life with hope and potential. 

And it….is? 

But it doesn’t stop there. Chbosky crams so many genres, themes, motifs, and messages into this book that when you think about it, it’s unsurprising that it’s over 700 pages long with the tiniest, most miniscule font I have ever had to squint at. 

However, make no mistakes like I did, this book is horror. 

Yup. You read that right folks, horror. 

To preface, and I might have mentioned this in another post for another book at some point, but I vehemently dislike horror of any kind. This extends to books, movies, shows, etc. 

I understand that horror is a great joy and pleasure for a vast amount of people and that it contains its own literary merit, tropes, and rules, and I can appreciate that for what it is from afar, but I personally take very little enjoyment from consuming anything horror related (I apologize to all the Stephen King fans out there in the world). 

I did not fully realize the extent to which this book was a true horror. 

This is entirely my own fault. I was very much blinded by the rosy colored glasses from college when I first read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Chbosky’s first and only other novel. 

Perks is wonderful. It is a tragic, yet fundamentally hopeful and loving bildungsroman that shows the beauty and the pain of growing up and accepting yourself. The movie with Emma Watson is what dreams are made of. 

I committed author fraud when I picked up Imaginary Friend based on the pure speculation that I would most likely like it since he had written Perks, a book I adored as both a reader and a teacher. 

I’ve warned readers against this in the past, but it seems like I should have taken my own advice: just because an author has written one good book or one book you like, does not automatically mean you will like their second book, or any of their other books for that matter. 

This cannot possibly ring more true for Stephen Chbosky, as not only are his two books completely different in narrative and structure, but also vastly different in genre and purpose. 

I should have stuck with my gut and realized that I probably wouldn’t like this book based off the synopsis, the genre, and yes, even the cover (it looks scary to me, okay?), but I said noooooo, it’s Chbosky, you have to read it!

And this is where we ended up. 

First of all, I didn’t hate the book. 

I can recognize that it is extremely well written, well crafted, and well developed. I can enjoy a slew of characters, and oh boy are there a multitude to pick from, and I can give credit where credit is due. 

Chbosky is a talented writer. There is no doubt in my mind about this. The way he crafts words, the way he plays with texture and space, and with fonts and sizes, is nothing less of sheer brilliance. 

He undoubtedly is also masterful at motifs, foreshadowing, and symbolism. Notably, there were so many recurring objects, colors, metaphors, and so on that were sprinkled out so consecutively and intentionally throughout the novel-some I didn’t even pick up until the end-that I was left reeling from how immensely talented and brilliant he is. 

Things like his use of baby teeth, blue moon, and fogs/clouds/mist struck me in particular. I know this seems like gibberish, but Chbosky truly came across as understanding what he wanted to portray and how he wanted to deliver it. 

However, the biggest compliment I can give to Chbosky is the sheer magnitude of his imagination and creativity. This book almost overwhelmed me through the use of ideas and concepts I had never really thought of before. 

Alternate dimensions? Check. 

Supernatural powers? Check. 

Incredible use of diction and figurative language? Check and check. 

Chbosky had so many wild and tantalizing beautiful turns of phrases, expressions, and descriptions that it left me with the same sort of gasping epiphany that Maggie Steifvater’s writing always leaves me with, the feelings that writing can be so utterly beautiful and compelling, that it can be all-consuming as well as never ending with its potential to stun, to create, and to warp to unique needs and purposes. 

It definitely was a reading experience quite like any other I’ve had. 

Be that because of the horror genre or because of Chbosky’s odd, yet addicting writing style and this has definitely become a book that left me more than a bit dumbfounded. Although I’ve sung its praises and admitted to my own faults at this point, this book isn’t without flaws. 

To me the horror genre itself is just not my cup of tea like I’ve stated. Strike number one. 

Second, the book was...abysmally long. Atrociously long. As I’ve also said before, I do not mind large books. In fact, big books when you’re reading something you love is a true blessing. Finding that fanfiction at 3am that hooks you immediately and you look up to see its 300k? Amazing. 

Starting a new book series that you fall in love with body and soul and realize you have several installments left in the series to gorge and devour? Ecstasy. 

Sloughing through a single book that starts to drag on and on repetitiously for what seems like forever? Borderline hell. 

This book could have been 300 pages shorter and still contained everything Chbosky wanted to accomplish. It could have had the same brilliant writing, messages, and motifs, but without all of the never-ending back and forth between worlds and battles that just kept popping up time and time again. The abominable length considering its content is strike two. 

Last, the ending was a bit of a cluster. At this point in the novel, so much is going on, you are being exposed to so many pov’s that it’s almost stress-inducing, and events taking place are cataclysmic and 10/10 on drama. Chbosky bit off more than he could chew here. 

The book choked itself at the end, which, after reading for 700 pages is not the feeling you want to have. The ending left me befuddled, disappointed, and also bereft of a conclusive end and explanation for the shitstorm that had just rained down. It was not the ending I wanted, could understand, or could even really grasp. Strike three. 

This book has a plethora of merits followed by three enormous criticisms. If you like horror, then you’ve already crossed hurdle number one. If you can accept it’s repellant length (let alone have days upon days of free time to actually ingest said behemoth) then that’s hurdle number two. 

Hurdle three is up to you. Perhaps you would like the ending where as I found it lacking in structure, content, and answers. I like my endings tied up with neat little bows. I don’t like to be left thinking...hmmmm what does this mean? 

If I am going to read your massive book, I deserve an ending that satisfies the journey. Authors telling readers that it’s up for interpretation makes me want to strangle something. It comes across as enormously pretentious to me and oftentimes lazy. 

In the case of Chbosky, I think he had given himself so many loose threads that the neat little bow I desired was next to impossible. 

So he didn’t even try. 

Score: 6/10

Recommendation: If you love The Shining, are lacking bouts of creativity and imagination, have lots of free time during Quarantine, and don’t mind having an Inception-esque ending where you might not get all the answers you want, while being tasked with concocting it for yourself, Imaginary Friend might be your new best friend. 

Bonus: Here’s a pic of my kitty photo bombing this book shoot. Hope she brightens your day!

[soyouareandrewdobson]

The biggest post yet: Analyzing a multipage story

Before I begin, I like to thank every follower so far and the ones who helped me over the course of the last weeks to build this tumblr up. This is for you and in a way the first test run for future, hopefully more elaborate reviews of Dobson’s comics. Hope you enjoy it and learn something.

Without further ado, ladys, gentlemen and the colorful rianbow inbetween, I present the unpublished “So you are a cartoonist?” story about the King of Queens trying to become a comic artist

Okay, this is not quite right. What is going to happen is as followed:

A few years ago Dobson released via his patreon the unpublished sketches of a multipage comic story about the struggles of a webcomic artist by the name of Kevin James, with no relation to the famous comedian who as of recently is also playing a neo nazi in a supposedly pretty damn good home invasion movie.

What I want to do is now go through this comic and point out some of the flaws in the writing/progression, okay? Cause honestly, this is not going to be the worst thing Dobson ever published. But it unfortunately has more than a few little hiccups that show Dobson’s flaws when it comes to creating a story.

So off to the next pages

Now as you can see, it is pretty obvious that the story is heading into a direction where Kevin seems to be a down on his luck creator. Having to work at the blandest named Burger Joint since Good Burger, with discount Doctor Wily as his manager and getting pretty little money into his account. Seriously, only 206 $ plus? I don’t know much about minimum wage in the states, but are you really getting that little even after taxes have been accounted for? Or is it likely Kevin is pretty deep into the reds and his deposit was even putting it into the plus again. If so… yaiks.

And now we are getting into the pages where a few slight problems may show up, depending on your own interpretation of things.

 See, in my opinion it is obvious that we are meant to feel sorry for Kevin, cause he lost his minimum wage job now for simply being late. Something that can happen to all of us. And yeah, losing your job when you have not really much in the bank, that sucks. So I would wish for the character to get at least a new job soon. However, we also need to acknowledge that the manager is not in the wrong here. After all, Kevin supposedly has shown up late for work for some time and his excuse that he was late because he had to work on his comic is not reasonable. For a lack of a better word, making this comic is just his hobby, not his job. His job is to make burgers and sell them, because the manager of the burger joint is paying him for that. So excuse me if my sympathy is not that much with him

Not really much to say here. I just want to point out two things: One, the countdown that showed up also in previous pages and goes further down the longer we get into the story, two that it actually may be a good thing that Dobson has not drawn the copy shop employee in more detail. Cause one thing I came to realize over time with Dobson is, that often times his sketches have more of a softness to them than the final product, where e.g. faces are more harsher and frankly, uglier than they need to be, in addition to being a bit oversaturated thanks to the colors. And with Dobson’s tendency to make also angry faces genuinely spiteful, I wonder if the copy shop owner would have come off in the final product as more “strawman mean” than necessary. Cause it is very obvious that “poor Kevin” seems to suffer from the indifferences of his environment.

 One month since he was fired and one more month till we are in the present and he loses his electricity cause he has not paid his bills. And this is where I slightly start to lose my sympathy with the character. Again, it is obvious that the story wants us to feel bad for Kevin because he is down on his luck although all he wants to do is just create his comic.

But at the same time, only halfway through the comic I have to ask, how much of his shitty situation is not just him doing nothing against it?

I mean, he has obvious money issues, he can’t pay the electricity bill and he has been fired a month ago. Shouldn’t he at this point not have attempted yet to get a replacement job? Or ask for unemployment support? Do commission work for fans in exchange for money?

I am just saying, his woes become a bit less relatable if he does not really attempt to at least try and fix the situation.

And unfortunately, this development continues still

 Gesh, this comic is really old when Kevin still owns a flip phone…

Also, I need to give his mom credit. 500$ send to her son so that he can pay his debts off and live well enough for a few days. Sorry, but 500$ is actually enough for me to live for a month and pay my groceries and major bills if I am careful enough. Lets hope Kevin is the same and that he looks out for a job

 … nope, he does not look for a job. Two weeks after he got the money he still does not have a job to support himself and assure he has a roof over his head. In fact, he likely loses more money than he necessarily needs to by going to a diner.

Look, unlike other characters created by Dobson, I really do not hate Kevin. Primarily because he does not show any of the despicable or idiotic traits other characters by him do. But Kevin is not doing anything to improve his situation, period. And that is not really how you should write “down on their luck” characters, cause that doesn’t really make them sympathetic. The sympathy a reader gives those characters stems primarily from the fact, that though they really try their best, fate is not working into their favor for different reasons beyond their control. But here the problem is, that Kevin has to a certain degree control over his situation. He can decide what he wants to do with the money, he can decide to either do or not do anything to improve his situation at least slightly. And he doesn’t do anything.  

Dear lord, Kevin is essentially Dobson when it comes to the laters overall situation and how he does little to improve anything when he is stuck.

Then there is also the entire thing about the waitress calling Kevin’s work amazing. For starters, I kinda doubt that that in our modern day society and work environment her acting like that in front of a customer, even if the customer does not mind, would fly with her employer. After all, professionalism and all that. Next, her praise feels shallow. The typical cardboard speech praise checkmark lines you can give to any piece of work, that don’t really mean anything if you do not elaborate on what it really is you find amazing about the characters in terms of personality or what it is about the story that hits home (e.g. can you realte to the characters, are you genuinely thinking the story is funny etc)

In fact, what even is Kevin’s comic?

 I get that his work is not the center stage of this story, but think about it: we are supposed to think that Kevin is talented and that he needs his lucky break. But would his work even justify success and admiration? All we know is that the comic features a character called Kat (not really an original name) who for a lack of a better word and based on the sketch outline may just be the bastard offspring of Bubsy and Talus from Alex ze Pirate. And that is it. For all I know, and taking for shit and giggles a made up meta narrative into account, his work may actually be on the same level as Alex ze Pirate itself. And if that is the case, let me just fill out an application as janitor for Kevin right now. If he is lucky he can make around 1000 dollars a month soon.

 This right here is actually a prime example of a common problem in Dobson’s longer story: Him breaking the old rule of “show, don’t tell”. The narrative tells us e.g. via the words of the waitress and the fact he has fans, that Kevin is a good cartoonist. But we do not see it for ourselves. And I am not suggesting here Dobson should draw 20 additional pages of Kevin’s creations and comics, because that would be freaking overkill. But imagine if this comic started off with the first page being part of a a very fantastic fight scene or story. Something rich in color and characters. Only for it to be revealed in the next page to be actually NOT the story we are supposed to read, but something Kevin creates right now. By doing so Dobson could not only show for the actual main story that Kevin is justified in having success, Dobson could have also shown for himself how he can be imaginative. How he can toy with tropes and expectations, while also creating something “new” out of nowhere just for fun. But that is not what we got. And all we have now are four more pages.

 Again, ONE MORE WEEK passed and he still did not get a job. And in fact, he is also overdue on his rent and wants to ask his mother AGAIN for money.

Dude… I am all out of sympathy. Sell your freaking kidney for all I care, offer your landlord oral sex or that you are going to do work around the house for him, just try to do something except beg mother to help you out again. Especially as she has already send you 500 dollar. What have you done with that money anyway? Did most of it get spend on your electric bill? If so, how huge was it? And did you fail to pay rent for a couple of months now that even your landlord is having enough? I ask the later in part because I genuinely do not know how fast a landlord can vacate you in the US. See, where I live you can get vacated too when you don’t pay up, but most landlords are by law forced to at least let you stay for a few more weeks till you either find a way to pay up or another place to live. Forceful removal of a tenant can mostly only happen if the person causes severe damage to the apartment or is facing criminal charges.

 So NOW you are looking for a job. Good luck getting 700 dollars in three days though. I can’t imagine that even if you get hired, that anyone will pay up that amount of money upfront to help you. Again, do you have no other options, Kevin? Also, for how long was that sign up there? How often have you gone by that diner? Also dear lord, the waitress really is not the smartest if she thinks being a webcomic artist pays all the bills

 So if the manager has already found someone, even if it was “just” now, why was the “now hiring” sign even still in the window? And he assumes there are even more bills? Kevin… do you have a genuine problem when it comes to handling finances? Would you do better, if you only get an allowance? Just one more page. And with it my biggest complains

And so our comic ends with all the build up of how down on his luck Kevin is, being essentially pointless, because at the end of the day he is still lucky and all his problems get resolved not by his own doing but by deus ex machina.

Okay, this is not entirely accurate.

After all, Kevin DID create this comic. He wrote it, he drew it, he send the script to multiple publishers, he got rejected multiple times and now he is also going to finally get recognition for it all. You can say he worked to get his foot into the industry. The problem is, that none of that work is really shown in the story presented to us. We do not see him work on the script, potentially rewrite or fix up mistakes, get the impression that even with the bad situation he is in, he still wants at the very least this passion project to succeed. All we know is he worked on something and now because it is convenient for the story, his misfortune is going to end and he gets a happy end that is way too convenient for my taste.

Look, I know nothing about how publishers work. If someone reads this and has genuine experience in how publishers approach you if they are interested in your work and how much money you can really make through it, you are free to tell me what you know or have experienced directly or indirectly. Cause frankly, I find it hard to believe that any publisher would immediately do the thing Kevin now experiences here. First off, why would they not attempt to call him or get into a more convenient contact with him than the mail? Second, advanced payment? Shouldn’t you at least try to handle out basic deals before you send him a paycheck over?

I get it is supposed to be a happy end for Kevin here, but honestly, with the way how even if people are getting published, success may not be immediate or not to a degree Dobson actually hopes for. Sorry, but I am also just jaded enough as a person to know that even otherwise acclaimed work does take time to really hit a certain level of popularity. Luke Pearson e.g., wrote and drew the first volume of the comic series Hilda in 2010, just a few months after he finished college. The comic was a success and resulted in him publishing up to four more books till 2016. But only with his comic being adapted into a Netflix series in 2018 did he also get recognition outside of Great Britain, from which he is likely going to make enough money to have a comfortable life for the next couple of years. Mind you, I said comfortable, not “luxurious”. Cause this is actually one thing I fear with Dobson to a degree: That he thinks that being a successful comic creator equals also becoming stinking rich. Cause as far as I know, this is not really the case for many comic creators around the world. But I digress.

This post is not about the potential delusions of Dobson when it comes to how much of a fortune he could make through a successful publication, this post is about judging a SYAC story that got never published.

And frankly, the story of Kevin James… I don’t hate it. Honestly, I think there is potential for a decent, even longer story about a webcomic artist trying to get his big break. The problem is, this is not a story about the challenges Kevin faces in creating his comic. This is not the story about someone being determined to get his work out, even if he struggles in real life. This is not the story of someone facing and dealing with his real life struggles in a mature way, making the happy end all the more feel rightfully earned. This is a story where honestly there would be no drama at all (or at least less drama), if Kevin even attempted to do something halfway logical most other people in real life would do, if they found themselves in his situation (like looking for a job, trying to work commissions etc.) . And a drama where the dramatic event would not happen if some basic logic even a kid can think off would be applied, is at least for me not really a drama.

So yeah, it is not the worst thing by Dobson, but it is very flawed to say the least.

[robbyrobinson]

Further Thoughts on BCG’s Cuties Review

While I already briefly mentioned Black Critic Guy and his review of Cuties, but I feel I wasn’t as elaborate as to why I disliked it. 

1) Calling the film one of the best ones of 2020...really? Sure because of tough times there wasn’t much in the way of actual releases, but come on...this is the one that you could definitively say was one of the best films of this year? I personally would’ve said The Invisible Man was one of my personal favorites of this year, but go on. 

2) Blaming Netflix entirely for the controversy. Oaky. Sure, I agree that Netflix should be held accountable for distributing the film on their platform and I completely supported the #CancelNetflix movement and am pleased that their stocks were hit hard because of them deciding to still release the film despite the backlash, but you should also blame the film crew and largely the director  Maïmouna Doucouré. Tony, did you know that they auditioned roughly 700 young girls to do the dances? Tony, are you completely okay with the idea that the parents of these girls allowed their children to star in these roles? Do you have any idea how much of a bad rap that would put on them as they got older? Tony, if you ever had children, would you find it acceptable that your daughter audition for one of these roles on the grounds of its “artistic merit?” 

3) Saying that the film never sexualizes the girls. Are you serious, Tony? To begin with, I am not saying that BCG is a pedophile just because he thought the film was okay. Really, the word had been tossed around so much it had nearly lost its meaning. Accusing someone of that act can potentially destroy that person’s life if there is no evidence and it makes it harder on the real cases of pedophilia where the victim is less likely to confess that they are being harmed. I fully understand the message and I can even say that it is important. Children are being exposed to sex and other unsavory things. But the message is badly botched because it sets out doing what it preaches as being wrong: sexualizing children. There are crotch shots, underage twerking...and, really...how are you going to defend scenes like Amy trying to entice her cousin or the condom moment? Even if you try to claim that there is a message, Tony, at the least you could admit that these scenes not only fail to convey it, but border on being softcore CP. 

4) Artistic merit...it’s funny how BCG bashes snooty, pretentious film critics when he is doing exactly what he criticizes them for. BCG, no one is saying that the film was not competently put together. But again it seems like your problem that people have with the movie is the story. There are other shows and movies that have done similar ideas to this one and they do it much better. To be frank, I can see South Park doing something akin to the movie. And once again, I do agree that the message is an important one. But as I have been saying for what seems to be an eternity, the movie fails to fully achieve that intended purpose by shooting itself in the foot. Kind of unrelated but worth pointing out: I am black, but I do not care that a black woman directed the film because I think she is a horrible person for even coming up with the concept. And much like BCG himself, she cannot take criticism. 

5) But yes, despite always saying he isn’t the end all be all when it comes to discussing films, BCG had been shown deleting comments critiquing his analysis of the review. Sure you could say that a lot of them were hostile like telling him to go to Hell or whatever...but many of those comments were also well-meaning and show that they were long time watchers of his and were positively disagreeing with his interpretation. 

[dweemeister]

Planning for the blog’s future (and just in case)

ICYMI, I published my 700th full-length Movie Odyssey review on this blog this last weekend. The review (a Movie Odyssey Retrospective) was on Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) and good lord it has more than 2,900 words. I have a lot of feelings and thoughts about the early Disney animated features and how the past is in constant, evolving conversation with the present - and I hope this is something many of you have found across my many reviews you may have skimmed or read over. These reviews serve, in a very indirect way, as a sort of diary or memoir. I hope they have also been educational, comforting, entertaining, and enlightening.

When tumblr decided to have its NSFW content purge in December 2018, I was  fearful about what might happen if the algorithm came and took out a lot of my blog’s content. After discussing with friends, I reached a tentative decision that it might be soon time to archive the now 700-and-still-counting Movie Odyssey reviews just in case something happened to my blog or tumblr in general. Archiving for the “My Movie Odyssey” reviews has begun on Google Drive (if anyone has any other archiving suggestions, it would be welcome). Because nothing would hurt more knowing that all that hard work - which probably has a total word count of somewhere around 950,000 to more than a million words - going to waste if the worst were to happen.

I don’t know if anybody has written more original content than I have in a non-fictional context on tumblr. But there can’t be many who have.

The NSFW content purge fell most heavily on this website’s queer community and barely touched this blog. But when I reach deep into the tags of rather obscure classic movies in hopes of queueing them for my followers, there is less there than there used to be, pre-December 2018. Those fellow classic movie blogs got blacklisted, and queueing is somewhat harder than it was seventeen months ago.

The ultimate aim of archiving all 700+ reviews is to set up a more professional blog that will feature only those reviews. Don’t worry, though, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. For as long as tumblr remains a viable platform for My Movie Odyssey, I will always be posting here first and providing all of my followers with a dose of classic cinema from all eras (though mostly pre-1980s) and from wherever they came from (though mostly English-language cinema).

I thank you all for being wonderful supporters of this blog over however long you have been a follower and/or reader. I hope that you and yours are doing well in the midst of this global pandemic.

[mrfog6]

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Macbook Offline Netflix

Macbook Offline Netflix Review

Netflix Offline On Macbook

Inspire your students with thousands of free teaching resources including videos, lesson plans, and games aligned to state and national standards. Netflix is a video on demand we site which was put up on August 29, 1997, by Marc Randolph and Reed Hastings in California. Netflix is pretty much the online version of a local theater. People go there to watch movies, anime all over again, without having any restrictions on snacks not being allowed and chill.

Macbook Offline Netflix Review

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If you use a MacBook, MacBook Air, or MacBook Pro for work, you’ve certainly thought about getting an external monitor at some point. Which is a 100% correct idea. Spending eight-plus hours every day hunched over the laptop on your desk won’t do your health any good long term. So a high-quality monitor is a must.

Naturally, the first thing that comes to mind here is the iconic Apple Cinema Display, which embellished the desks of most creatives for nearly over a decade. This Mac monitor was, however, updated in 2011 with the now ubiquitous Apple Thunderbolt Display.

Apple’s first Thunderbolt monitor was a beautiful and sturdy 27-inch LED screen. But after a few weak updates, it too, unfortunately, got discontinued in 2016 without any immediate successor. Although it’s possible to buy an Apple Thunderbolt Display secondhand today, it’s not a really good idea, since its specifications are quite outdated. Finally, in 2019, Apple released its brand new Thunderbolt 3 monitor — Apple Pro Display XDR.

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Installing PIP on Linux Operating system is a bit different as compared to Mac and Windows. You need to check first if the Python is already installed or not. But if your Linux distro came with Python already installed, you should be able to install PIP using your system’s package manager. Before we start with how to install pip for Python on macOS, let’s first go through the basic introduction to Python. Python is a widely-used general-purpose, high-level programming language. Python is a programming language that lets you work quickly and integrate systems more efficiently. Modern Mac systems come with Python and PIP already installed. However, this version of Python tends to be outdated and not the best choice for serious Python development. It's highly recommended that you install a more current version of Python and PIP. Follow the instructions on the page and then after successfully downloading Pip3, run python3 get-pip.py in your terminal This will install pip3 into your laptop and then you can check the. Install python and pip mac.

Install a bunch of best design apps — all in one. Setapp will help you create, edit, and share visuals at little cost.

What’s Good And Bad About Apple Pro Display XDR

Unlike all previous Apple monitors, Apple Pro Display XDR is positioned as the ultimate creative machine in the top price bracket, starting at $4,999 for the base model. Wow.

What do you get for that price? The specs are truly outstanding. Let’s start with the 32-inch Retina 6K display, delivering up to 1600 nits of brightness (compared to about 300 in regular monitors), a 1,000,000:1 contrast ratio, and close to a billion colors. The dynamic range of this Apple screen is so broad that it far surpasses HDR (high dynamic range) and reaches XDR (extreme dynamic range).

Overall, Apple Pro Display XDR is stunning and can not only be used for Mac Pro but also be a great companion MacBook Pro display or even an extra iMac external monitor. The only downside is, of course, the price. While, $4,999 is what you start with, you could pay $5,999 for a model with nano-textured glass and $999 more for a Pro stand.

The top-tier cost of the Apple monitor 2019 model makes sense for professionals who rely on accurate color representation in their daily work, but seems to be overkill for almost everyone else. Luckily, there are lots of non-Apple displays on the market today as well. Why not explore some more options?

Close competitor: Dell UltraSharp 32-inch 8K Monitor

Those who really like Apple Display Pro but wished for a higher resolution at just a bit of a lower price would really love Dell’s 8K monitor. The same 32 inches here deliver a breathtaking 7,680 x 4,320 resolution. Although the contrast ratio is only 1,300:1 compared to Mac display’s 1,000,000:1.

While MSRP on Dell’s monitor is set at $4,999, most retailers sell them for somewhere between $3,499 and $3,899. Thus the screen fits in the niche between Apple 5K monitor that iMac has and Apple Display Pro XDR, and is also targeted at creative professionals.

Ultrawide: LG 34-inch 5K Nano LED Monitor

Free tetris for mac downloads. If you don’t need an 8K monitor (there’s in fact not much content yet made for 8K) and really enjoy having lots of screen real estate, why not take a look at LG’s 34-inch UltraWide 5K display.

This Thunderbolt 3 monitor features two HDMI, two USB-As, and one DisplayPort ports, as well as a headphone jack to make a perfect MacBook Pro display. The screen has an impressive 60 Hz refresh rate and 600 nits of brightness. All in all, a good investment at $1,499 MSRP.

Workhorse: LG 24-inch UltraFine 4K Monitor

Download word 2019 cracked. When you just need a monitor that does its job really well, look no further than LG’s 24” UltraFine 4K.

Besides giving you a beautiful 4K picture, this screen features three USB-C ports for all your external devices and 85 W power supply to become the perfect Mac display for any need. The price is reasonable too, somewhere around $700–800.

On budget: BenQ 27-inch GW Series Monitor

Some of you will see the prices above and go into shock mode — after all, you just wanted something simple to get the job done, not spend a laptop-worthy sum on a Mac monitor.

In this case, what you need is a BenQ GW Series display. Its 27-inch LED screen has a 2560 x 1440 resolution that gives you 77% more working space than regular HD monitors — certainly good enough for all everyday needs. The most impressive part, however, is the price. BenQ GW Series is one of the most affordable Mac displays and retails for just about $280.

So, here you go, the choice is yours, whether you’re ready to go all in with the Apple screen, take it down a notch with Dell, embrace the UltraWide with 34-inch LG, get to work with UltraFine 24-inch LG, or save some money and settle for 27-inch BenQ.

But since you’re interested in great Apple displays intended mostly for designers and creative professionals, it might be that you could benefit from a few essential apps that any designer would go crazy about.

Essential creative apps for every designer

It’s no secret that all designers cherish the typography on their Macs. Sadly, the built-in Font Book utility comes up short a lot. The absence of a customizable display of fonts and live comparisons make it hard to choose the perfect font. That’s where designers should try Typeface.

Typeface is a simple app that does a lot — giving you full control over how your collection of fonts is displayed. Mix system and custom fonts together, write any phrase to test the one you need, and group the best ones to use in a client project, all with ease.

Netflix Offline On Macbook

Aquarelo is another tool every designer needs, but not every designer knows exist. When beginning work on any project, it’s not too hard to come up with two primary colors. What’s much more difficult is to create a full palette out of them. Aquarelo does exactly that, giving you an easy way to generate up to 15 gradations between any colors, which you can input directly with HEX codes or using a color picker.

Goldie App is a must for those obsessed with grids. This tiny menu bar utility lets you create designs that follow the most perfect golden ratio. You can use presets or calculate your own grids in seconds, and Goldie always remains just a click away.

Luminar Flex helps those who would like to spend less time fine-tuning every photo in Photoshop or Apple Photos. It’s an essential plugin that leverages the power of AI to make perfect edits, beautiful filters, and automated workflows. Just a few quick steps and your whole day of shooting is perfectly corrected for exposure, contrast, and color.

Finally, Folio is the cornerstone of every design process — offering detailed version control in one place. No more multiple files saved on different Macs across the whole team. With Folio, everyone knows the exact workflow, can resolve conflicts quickly, and save the precious files that would otherwise be lost.

Simply keeping these five apps on your Mac will considerably simplify your working life: fonts in one place, grid tools handy, colors made for you, photographs edited, and everything version controlled.

Best of all, you can try Typeface, Goldie App, Aquarelo, Luminar Flex, and Folio absolutely free for seven days via Setapp, a platform with more than 200 apps that every Mac user would find incredibly helpful, whether it’s related to design, writing, managing, or even optimizing your own Mac. Just visit Setapp’s website and see for yourself!

Setapp lives on Mac and iOS. Please come back from another device.

Meantime, prepare for all the awesome things you can do with Setapp.

Read on

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[captainwondyful]

Love, Simon at the Box Office

Hello, Tumblr.  One of my idiosyncratic fandoms is box office tracking and results.  If you’d indulge me for a hot minute, I would like to make a plea for you to go see this in theaters.

The following is a long post about box office numbers, life hacks for cheap tickets, and overall gay crying.

I have seen this film twice in the past 24 Hours, and I’m still struggling to find the exact words to properly describe how it profoundly affected me.

I’m somewhere between:

Love, Simon is a paint-by-numbers rom-com released by a major Hollywood Studio (Fox 2000).  Only the lead protagonist is a gay teen.  As Peter Travers of Rolling Stone states in his review:

A seemingly ordinary coming-of-age tale that looms large because of its inclusive romantic embrace, Love, Simon wins you over by capturing your heart without pushing too hard for the prize. ...  Yes, the plot mechanics tend to lean toward the disappointingly slick and sitcom-ish. But what redeems the film and makes it such an exuberant gift is the sincere joy Berlanti and the actors take in celebrating its protagonist's growing self awareness…. Love, Simon is a John Hughes movie for audiences who just got woke. And for all its attempts not to offend, it's a genuine groundbreaker.

I love this critique.  In Love, Simon no one dies, contracts HIV/AIDS, or is the victim of a violent hate crime.  The characters face complications and angst -- coming out in 2017 still is a huge undertaking with monumental stakes.  Yet in the context of this film, we understand that everything will be okay.  The genre makes it safe.  The audience knows that the homophobic bullies will get their comeuppance. The friends will make up.  The main protagonist will find love.

Love, Simon might not be perfect.  It might not be everything to everyone.  But it deserves its praise, and we (the LGBTQIA community) deserve to have more films like it, because everyone deserves to escape into indulgent, cotton-candy media where they can see themselves proud and happy.  Love, Simon is important; just as films like Black Panther, Girls Trip, Wonder Woman, and A Wrinkle In Time are important.

And we need to financially support it:

Money Makes The World Go Run

The film business is a business first.  Movies that don’t make money, don’t get sequels or start trends.  So I know, I know, I’m asking for a lot, but we need to embrace capitalism for just a second.

Love, Simon opened to a $11.5M Opening Weekend (OW) from 2,402 theaters.  

According to Deadline.com

Love, Simon drew 58% females, 42% males with 59% under 25. The movie over-indexed in the west, Northeast, and Midwest; slightly under-indexed in the Rockies; and under-indexed in the south and southeast. Top 20 markets that over-indexed include LA, NY, SF, Boston, Philadelphia, Seattle, and Minneapolis. Top grossing theaters came from LA, NY, SF, Boston, Toronto, Chicago, St. Louis, Dallas, and San Antonio. Canada repped 5.6% of the weekend’s take.

Tumblr, you are driving this movie.  You are going to make it a success.  You have the power.  We need to get this film to bring in a total domestic box office (DOM) of 50M+

Love, Simon’s budget is between 10M - 17M, plus P&A (Print & Advertising) Marketing Budget.  I don’t have the P&A numbers.

There is a general rule of thumb in Hollywood called the 3X Rule.  It states that a film is a box office success if it makes 3X its production budget.  If a movie costs 50M to make, a 150M box office is a success.  This rule is NOT exact, because it does not factor in the Print & Advertising (P&A) budget of the film, or that a movie can do terrible at the box office but still be considered a financial success because of X-factors like merch sales (I’m looking at YOU Pixar’s Cars)

Love, Simon will need 51M to pass the 3X Rule.

It’s not impossible looking at the comps:

Everything, Everything 34.1M OW / 64.6M DOM (1.89X Multiplier)

Paper Towns 32M OW / 85.5M DOM (2.67 Multiplier)

The Fault Is In Our Stars 48M OW / 124M DOM (2.58 Multiplier)

But it won’t happen if we don’t get that multiplier up to a 4X+

Multiplier = The total DOM divided by the OW.  So for example:

Justice League (2017) 93.8M OW / 229M DOM = 2.44 Multiplier

The Greatest Showman (2017) 8.8M OW / 169.7M DOM = 19.04 Multiplier

We need to pull another run of legs like The Greatest Showman and keep it keep it theaters until Avengers: Infinity War (April 27, 2018).  Once IW shows up, the summer box office season kicks off, and, realistically, the jammed packed release schedule will push Love, Simon out of theaters.

We have Five Weeks - to go see this film, to tell everyone we know to go see this film, and support the cast and crew as much as we can.

The best way to do that is a positive Word of Mouth and Legs.

Word of Mouth: TALK ABOUT THIS FILM.  RAVE ABOUT THIS FILM.  Post on Twitter, on Facebook, on Tumblr.  Get a Rotten Tomatoes or IMDB.com account and post reviews.  You can NOT underestimate a good grassroots effort to get the word out.

Legs = Tied to the multiplier.  It’s how much a movie makes AFTER the opening weekend.  Movies like Justice League are front-loaded; meaning most ticket sales are opening weekend and in the first week. Other movies, like The Greatest Showman, have much stronger legs, where they earn a decent amount every weekend for a large total.

Weekend Drops: The percentage that a movie drops from week to week.  For example, Black Panther has had amazing holds with its (as of writing this) 5 Week Run: Weekend 1 242.1M Weekend 2 111.6M (-44.7%) Weekend 3 66.3M (-40.6%) Weekend 4 40.8M (-38.4%) Weekend 5 (26.6M (-34.7%) Even though it’s making less money every week, we can see that Black Panther’s domination over the marketplace is consistent.  Solid audience retention is why Black Panther is not dropping many theater screens, despite being out for over a month. This is the same reason why The Greatest Showman (which came out before Christmas) is STILL playing in 700+ theaters.  TGS actually had FOUR weekends out of its seventeen where it went UP from previous weekends, and had an average of a -20% week to week drop.

It is CRITICAL to Love, Simon’s success that this weekend only drops between 20% and 30%.  Some on the Box Office Forum I’m apart of are speculating that the next week will be CRITICAL to the success and failure of Love, Simon’s domestic box office run.

So, let’s go to the movies!

Cheap Ways to See Films

Going to the movies is expensive.  Here are some life hacks for discount tickets

MoviePass

Like Netflix or Spotify, you can sign up with MoviePass, and for $9.99 a month, you can see a movie a day.  Yup.  A movie a day.  It is a steal of a deal and pays for itself after the first month.   The only drawback is it takes a couple weeks for the company to send you your MoviePass card.  I think it took three weeks to get mine.  Still!  This is A VALUE.  And you can go see Love, Simon once a day for a month for only $9.99

Discount Tuesdays

Most movie theaters offer discount tickets on Tuesdays.  You will have to check with your individual theaters, but Tuesdays are the most common day across the US and Canada.  Our theater is $5 on Tuesdays.

AT&T Ticket Tuesdays

Do you have AT&T as a mobile carrier?  They offer Discount Tuesday Tickets.  Buy 1, Get 1 Free.  You can read the fine print here

Dealflix.Com

Check Out this site for discount tickets.

Groupon Has A Banner for Discount Tickets

in Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Seattle, Atlanta, Denver, and Washington D.C.  In the past, Groupon has also offered discounts on Fandango, MovieTickets.com, and DealFlix gift cards or vouchers.

Student, Seniors (65+), and Military Tickets

Many theaters offer current discounts to these three groups.  So check your local theater’s website, grab your grandma, friend in the military, and/or student ID, and head out to Love, Simon.

Group Rates

Often times buying tickets in bulk results in getting a discount.  So get 10 or 20 of your friends, and call the theater to see if they offer group rates.

Go To a Matinee!

Remember!  The early shows before 4 PM (6 PM at some theaters) are always less!

Wait! I Don’t Live in the US or Canada

You’re going to have a wait a little bit, but PLEASE go see this once it's released.  Foreign Box Office is a HUGE part of a film’s success, sometimes it even saves it!

So, Save the Date:

March 22, 2018 - Brazil

March 29, 2018 - Australia

April 6, 2018 - UK, Ireland

May 3, 2018 - Argentina, Singapore,

May 4, 2018 - Finland, Taiwan,

May 9, 2018 - Philippines

May 10, 2018 - Hong Kong

June 14, 2018 - Czech Republic, Netherlands, Slovakia,

June 15, 2018 - Lithuania, Norway, Poland, Sweden

June 21, 2018 - Hungary, Portugal,

June 27, 2018 - France

June 28, 2018 - Germany

June 29, 2018 - South Africa, Spain

August 30, 2018 - Italy

Even if you watch (or have already watched) a CAM online, please still consider seeing this in the theater when it comes out it in your country!

The more we can show Fox/Disney that we are willing to put our money where our mouth is, and go support this movie, the more likely it is that similar films will be made. Hollywood is constantly searching for the next big thing, so if they see a hit or potential trend, they going to try and figure out how to copy it.

I Just Don’t Have the Funds or Means to Get to the Theater

The goal of this post is drive box office success.  I get that sometimes you just can’t get to the theater; or, because of the nature of the film, it might not be safe for you to attend.  You can STILL help out with Word of Mouth

Fox is checking Social Media.  Keep tweeting and posting about how much you love this movie, and how much it means to you.  Make sure to use the Hashtag #LoveSimon.  Reblog this post so others can get the information.  Tell your friends to go, and RAVE about it.  Post positive/rave reviews on Amazon, Rotten Tomatoes, and IMDB.  All of those things help Love, Simon.

If you’re still here, I know that was a lot, THANK YOU, and I hope you get a chance to enjoy and love this movie.

[mylittlenanaki]

MLP vs. Blade Runner

One of the funniest things I’ve seen this year is this completely unprecedented rivalry between the MLP fandom and Blade Runner fandom.

It starts simply enough; My Little Pony: the Movie was slated to come out in November, but moved back a month to avoid becoming a complete washout thanks to Pixar’s Coco coming out the same month. October 6th became the final date, coincidentally the same date that Blade Runner 2049 was coming out. There were a few jokes about adult men paying for Blade Runner tickets but sneaking in to MLP instead, but nothing serious until about a week before these movies came out.

On 4chan’s /mlp/ board, one bold Anon decided to stake a claim that not only would Blade Runner completely destroy MLP in the box office, but it would go on to become a critical and commercial success, rekindling the long-lost genre of sci-fi noir films. /mlp/ proceeded to shrug off the claim with “lol who cares”

Fast forward to the opening weekend. As expected, Blade Runner comes in first to universal critical acclaim, and MLP comes in fourth with critics either loving or hating it. Seems like it’s a clear-cut winner scenario, except that Blade Runner performed BELOW expectations. It was projected to open somewhere between $43-47 million, but finished the weekend at $32.8 million, about $10 million below expectations.

Critics and investors were taken aback. Journalists started scrambling to find out what went wrong. And as Blade Runner’s budget and investment information came in, it got worse. The film’s budget was somewhere between $150-$180 million, but in order to turn a profit, it would have to break $400 million total. Sony (who, coincidentally, lost the film right to MLP because they couldn’t fucking control themselves and wanted to make it a Smurfs rehash) had invested a ton of money into Blade Runner and not only wanted to be paid back in full before anyone else, but wanted a percentage of the profits.

Blade Runner would go on to flounder in the international market too. Film critics and journalists were practically begging for international markets to save the film, but it didn’t work out. It was projected to open at $60 million internationally, and instead made $50.2 million. In the end, the film made $256.8 million, and against the $400 million it needed to break even, it was considered a bomb, with the studio set to lose $80 million, and pretty much destroyed any hope of getting a sequel.

Meanwhile, the MLP film made nowhere near as much money as Blade Runner did. But it had a far more modest budget, was marketed carefully, and thanks to its rating was open to much more audiences than Blade Runner’s “R”. It made about $21.8 million domestically and $29.6 million internationally, for a total of about $51 million. Hasbro never released the budget number for the movie, but insiders say it was between $5 and $8 million, which a supposed leaked document (which has never been verified) suggests it was closer to $25 million. Regardless, Hasbro was happy enough in the film’s performance that in an investment call in November, they said a sequel was very likely to happen. And remember, this is despite the film not going over well with critics, not only being snubbed from any sort of awards, but ALSO the film leaking online a week before release.

In other words, despite making less money and not being as favored by critics, MLP was far more successful than Blade Runner. And BR fans on 4chan were furious. They would swarm /mlp/ shitposting, pointing out all of the MLP movie’s flaws and sharing every negative review they could find, with posts like “IT’S OVER, HASBRO IS FINISHED, HOW WILL BRONIES EVER RECOVER” en masse. And it’s still happening now, especially when Justice League came out and underperformed as well (that one needed to make $700 million to break even, but only made $567 million), with DC fans and BR fans ganging up on MLP to try to make bronies hate the thing they love.

The internet is wild, yo.

[crazygirlsworldofbooks]

Review: Imaginary Friend

“We can swallow our fear or let our fear swallow us.”

Book: Imaginary Friend

Author: Stephen Chbosky

My Rating: ✯ ✯ ✯ (3 Stars)

Read: February 13, 2021

Synopsis:  

Christopher is seven years old. Christopher is the new kid in town. Christopher has an imaginary friend. We can swallow our fear or let our fear swallow us. Single mother Kate Reese is on the run. Determined to improve life for her and her son, Christopher, she flees an abusive relationship in the middle of the night with her child. Together, they find themselves drawn to the tight-knit community of Mill Grove, Pennsylvania. It's as far off the beaten track as they can get. Just one highway in, one highway out. At first, it seems like the perfect place to finally settle down. Then Christopher vanishes. For six long days, no one can find him. Until Christopher emerges from the woods at the edge of town, unharmed but not unchanged. He returns with a voice in his head only he can hear, with a mission only he can complete: Build a treehouse in the woods by Christmas, or his mother and everyone in the town will never be the same again. Twenty years ago, Stephen Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Wallflower made readers everywhere feel infinite. Now, Chbosky has returned with an epic work of literary horror, years in the making, whose grand scale and rich emotion redefine the genre. Read it with the lights on.

My Review:

Well, that’s the last time I pick a book up blindly because a booktuber that I like said she loved it. So to be quite frank it was my fault for choosing to read a book that was not at all my cup of tea but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it whatsoever so I am giving it three stars. It was a well written and developed book but it was just too out there for me and so far from any realm of possibility or reality that it was hard for me to take this book seriously and I forced myself to get through it because I have a hard time DNFing books. Plus, I am one of those people who likes to venture outside of her comfort zone so I gave it a chance and just because it was not for me I could see others loving it who are more into fantasy and probably have bigger imaginations than me because I have none.

Imaginary Friend is about a boy who moves into a new town with his mother, who is running away from an abusive relationship and how things start to go crazy after he goes into the woods and is missing for six days after. The plot itself sounded interesting enough to me but was a lot more than I bargained for. I thought it would be more rooted in reality but it was so fantastical that I had a hard time imagining all the weird happenings and growing attached to the characters in these impossible situations. I think I will be taking a long break from horror after this and will be sticking to my more realistic thrillers that seem more plausible and just touch me differently.

Further on, the characterization was probably the strongest point in this book and even though I rolled my eyes a lot at what was happening, I still found myself worried and stressing for all of the different personalities in this book  and rooting for them to come out on top. They all had their quirks and flaws and I loved seeing how they all struggled in life one way or another because a lot of times we find ourselves wishing we had someone else’s life without knowing what that person is actually going through themselves. I just wish the fantastical aspect would have been toned down just a bit and I would have grown attached to the characters even more but they ended up remaining at a distance to me.

Thirdly, the writing was problematic for me. I have been wanting to read The Perks of Being a Wallflower ever since watching the movie but I will not be doing that anymore because the writing was too much to stomach for me. There were too many descriptions and elongated sentences and they in turn took something away from the actual story in my opinion. There were a lot of instances where I had to go back and reread sentences to make sure I wasn’t missing something crucial or significant from it. The overwhelming writing style along with an overly action-packed plot made for one difficult novel for me to finish. Also, what was done in 700 pages could have easily been done in 500 or less and would have been a lot more impactful. 

In conclusion, I realize that I am probably not the right reader for this novel but even so there were too many issues that I had with it and had to force myself to get through it so I could move onto other novels. Putting the lack of reality aside, this novel was nothing but overwhelming in every sense of the word and I will not be recommending it to anyone in the near future. It could make a good tv show I think but too many things are up for interpretation and there’s nothing much concrete to hold onto at all. For people who love thrillers like me and even horror based more in realism, I would advise you skip this one and save yourself the time of reading a 700 page novel.

[hempoilfrog1]

31 Surprising Hobbies That Make You Money

Most people do not really enjoy their jobs. They probably just do it because they needed the money to pay their bills. While some people are fortunate to land a job they love, others would rather spend time on their hobbies than their job. But, hey! Your hobbies can also pay for your bills! It may seem far-fetched, but there are actually several hobbies to make some extra money from the thinks that you really like!

Read More:

31 Surprising Hobbies That Make You Money

15 High Paying Online Jobs From Home -Over $45,000/Yr

15 Legit Companies to Find House Sitting Jobs

Ways to Earn Money Online: 20 Legitimate Ways to Earn Up To $20,000/Month

Tips Fоr Instant Anxіеtу Relief That Can Help

1) Baking/Cooking

Do you love cooking? Then, let others have a taste of your specialties. There are many ways you can go about this.

You can start cooking and sell them to your neighbors.

You can start a blog sharing recipes with readers. You can monetize via ad placements or creating e-book recipes selling them at $10 – $20.

Shoot short videos showing viewers how to cook meals and baking goods.

2) Cbd Oil (Trending Now)

Cannabidiol, or more commonly referred to as CBD, is arguably the hottest commodity in the present time across the global market.

Forbes Magazine has stated that the CBD market will become the next billion-dollar industry, growing by more than 700% and just the next couple of years. The Cannabis industry is projected to be at 50 billion by 2026.

When we first introduced our TOTALLY FREE Business Opportunity that allows anyone to get paid for sharing our amazing products with others, some people thought we were crazy. But so many people loved it and took advantage of it that we KNEW we were on to something great.

Then as more people discovered our hybrid four-part pay plans with copyrighted profit-sharing positions, that can literally multiply your income from the same sells volume, the word started to spread, “There is something totally different going on at CTFO.” And with our new line of CBD products, there’s never been a simpler or more powerful way to create a lifetime of residual income.

IT’S ABSOLUTELY FREE.

3) Answer Online Surveys

Do you like sharing your opinions or thoughts? Why not join companies such as SurveyJunkie, InboxDollars or SwagBucks and answering surveys for money? They take only a few minutes to complete and you can do them during your office break. Most companies pay points that are redeemable for free gifts, but others can send you cash through PayPal.

Our Nr1 Recommendation:

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Swagbucks member benefits:

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4) Photography

If you have the talent to take wonderful and professional portraits of people or your surroundings, then you’re in business. Most websites will be more than happy to get your pictures, selling them on your behalf. Some of the best ones include iStockphoto, Shutterstock, BigStock Photo, Fotopia, and 123rf.

5) Writing

Do you have your way with words? Then it is time to turn that hobby into a side hustle and start asking money from the comforts of your own home. Freelance writing is probably one of the best hobbies that make a huge amount of money this year. Taking clients from websites like Freelancer or Upwork and start writing blogs, e-books, or sales copy. Fiverr is a great place to get started as a freelance writer. Sign Up For Free Here

6) Drive People Around

If you like driving, then you can drive people around town and get paid. Lyft and Uber are some of the companies that can pay you to drive whenever you have free time and earn at least $15 – $25 an hour.

7) Shop For Other People

Shopaholic?

Well, believe it or not, there are certain groups of people like the busy working professionals and homebound senior citizens that hire people to buy their groceries, clothes and other shopping needs, like buying birthday gifts or planning for a party. This simply puts a whole new meaning on “shopping until you drop.”

Read More:

How You Can Make Money Online With CTFO CBD Oil Business

Top 8 Reasons Why CTFO is One of the Fastest Growing MLM Companies

Find Out How CTFO Can be the Secret to Your Online Success

Set Your Own Schedule by Starting Your CTFO Business

How to Start Your Own CBD Business Without Any Sales Experience

8) Dropshipping

If you have the skill to sell products or services effectively but simply can’t handle logistics, shipping, inventory management, and delivery, then you can benefit the most with dropshipping. You will be the middleman, helping the manufacturer sell their products, minus all the hassle and you still get your cut. Sounds great? DropshippingMart is one of the best websites to try.

9) Proofread Documents

If you have this knack of correcting things, especially documents, then earn up to $36,000 just by proofreading documents from home. There is a high demand for proofreading skills since businesses and bloggers want the perfect, error-free content for their blogs while students want their essays to look just nice. Fiverr is a great place to get started as a proofreader. Sign Up For Free Here

10) Play or Sing at Events

If you are blessed with a natural talent for singing or playing an instrument, then you can use that to make money. You can try playing musical instruments or singing at events like weddings or birthdays. You can even use your musical talents at other local events such as banquets, fundraisers or parties. Those garage band dreams that you had in high school can finally become your reality while also learning some nice money.

11) Reselling Digital Services

This is the process of buying digital services (SEO, social media management, web design) and then selling it to your own clients in order to gain profit. The internet has made it so easy for people to sell anything online, especially digital services. ResellerSiteHub is a nice site that trades in Social Media Services, SEO, Virtual Assistant, and Video Production. You can easily make $2,000 – $10,000 a month with 1 sale a day. Check it out and start your own Reseller Business Today

12) Be a Handyman

Can you fix just about anything? Well, sites like TaskRabbit can allow you to put your skill to the test as you work you help people with repairs and other house projects. Most of the tasks are one-time needs like painting a room, loading a moving truck or fixing a kitchen cabinet.

13) Create Courses

If you love teaching and helping others, then you can work with online training courses from sites such as Lynda and Udemy. If you can create a course about playing the acoustic guitar, newest computer program, photography lesson, and then you will definitely get paid for it.

Read More:

How You Can Make Money Online With CTFO CBD Oil Business

Top 8 Reasons Why CTFO is One of the Fastest Growing MLM Companies

Find Out How CTFO Can be the Secret to Your Online Success

Set Your Own Schedule by Starting Your CTFO Business

How to Start Your Own CBD Business Without Any Sales Experience

14) Start a Blog

Probably one of the most awesome hobbies today, blogging not only gives you’re the extra income but also allows you to share ideas with the world. And while being a freelance writer means that you can’t choose what you write, having your own blog means that you can write about topics that interest you. And it does not matter what topic you choose, if there’s a market for it, it’ll be profitable.

15) Sell Fresh Produce

If you have a green thumb and grows a rich garden, then you can sell your bounty of veggies and fruits at your local market. You can also invite people to visit your garden so they can get a good look at your produce source firsthand. And if you can grow flowers, plants, and trees, then you can sell these to your local markets or post on Craigslist. Some people like to look for affordable flowers, trees, and shrubs to decorate their yards.

16) Tutor

If you are academically smart, how about tutoring a high school, elementary or even a college student? Depending on your expertise, hourly rates can be $15 per hour up to $75 an hour. You can search for local advertisements or join online sites such as Tutor.com Chegg and StudyPool to connect with local students.

17) Traveling

This is probably one of the most amazing hobbies ever! Who doesn’t like to go out and see the world? So how can you make money while traveling? Well, certain travel agencies and companies are willing to offer free tours or even allow you to stay at resorts for free in exchange for reviews. You will need to tell them about your experience. However, you will need to have a blog in order to get these sponsored trips.

18) Graphic Design

Probably more of professional skill, but still, if you have the eyes for good designs, then web or graphic design is a pretty high demand skill these days. Authors, bloggers, and online entrepreneurs are always on the lookout for people to create their business cards, logos, websites, and e-book covers. A nice place to start would be 99Designs but you can also try Upwork or Fiverr.com. Fiverr is a great place to get started as a graphic designer. Sign Up For Free Here

Read More:

How You Can Make Money Online With CTFO CBD Oil Business

Top 8 Reasons Why CTFO is One of the Fastest Growing MLM Companies

Find Out How CTFO Can be the Secret to Your Online Success

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How to Start Your Own CBD Business Without Any Sales Experience

19) Pet-sitting

For animal lovers, you can make money while enjoying the company of various pets. You can earn money by walking the pets of other people or even pet-sitting them when their owners are not around. As a matter of fact, some people earn a 6-figure income by becoming a professional dog walker in the bigger cities. You can start by asking your neighbors or post your services on dog walking service sites, local boards or Care.com.

20) Teach English or Other Language

Magic Ears and VIPKid are the two best teaching websites that hire teachers for virtual teaching. You can earn up to $24 an hour, depending on the company you work for. There are tutoring agencies that hire teachers to teach a new language to kids.

21) Gaming

If you have some experience with developing awesome games that people love, then you can upload them on YouTube or Google Play then monetize using ads. Every time someone clicks on your ads, you will get a commission. The amount can go from a few cents to a few dollars. Although it does not seem that much, if you have the patience, the money will start coming in and in huge amounts.

22) Making Crafts

Crafting is something that has been here for a while now. And if you are gifted in creating nice artwork, jewelry or other handmade goods, then you can easily turn it into a side hustle. Etsy is the most popular site for selling handcrafted materials with ease.

23) Socializing

If you like sharing your ideas and thoughts on social media and have an audience, then you can earn money this way. Social networks suitable for this include Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. All you need to do is to find a topic of interest, regularly post and catch your audience’s attention.

Once there’s trust, you can start posting services or products that your audiences are interested in buying. And every time that someone clicks on the link and buy, you’ll make a commission. Some of the best websites to check for this include Global Influence Network, Pollinate, Social Fabric, MassiveWay, Tomson, BlogDash and Social Spark.

24) Create a YouTube Channel

If you have a habit of shooting yourself as you do your hobby, why not create a YouTube Channel and share it with the world? It does not matter what kind of videos they are, as long as they are good an interesting, you can attract a good following and you can surely make some money. Post your videos to connect with your viewers and apply for AdSense. Every time someone clicks on your ads, you should gain a commission.

Read More:

How You Can Make Money Online With CTFO CBD Oil Business

Top 8 Reasons Why CTFO is One of the Fastest Growing MLM Companies

Find Out How CTFO Can be the Secret to Your Online Success

Set Your Own Schedule by Starting Your CTFO Business

How to Start Your Own CBD Business Without Any Sales Experience

25) Be a Personal Trainer

If you are a fitness buff, then you can start making some money and be a personal trainer. Gyms from all over the world have personal trainers and because there’s a high turnover, they are usually looking for more. Take note, however, that you will need to get some certifications. Another way you can earn money with your fitness passion is to share knowledge on the best workouts and training to follow via blogs or videos.

26) Refereeing

Were you a jock in college or high school but have not been able to find an outlet for it after that? Well, try being a referee. There are recreation leagues and schools always on the hunt for any qualified referees. It may not be anything like getting back on your old sports team, but it is a chance to take your favorite sport back and turn it into a money-making gig.

27) Surfing the Internet

Who does not surf the internet for a day? And for Internet addicts, wouldn’t it be amazing to make money from it? There are various companies that will pay you to surf the internet. For instance, Swagbucks members can make money by using it as their search engine. MobileXpression and Nielsen Computer & Mobile Panel will you to share your browsing data

28) Lawn Care and Landscaping

If you love landscaping and the great outdoors, then you can turn your hobby into a money-making gig. Some services can be as simple as mowing to projects that require some experience like building a deck. In order to get you started, you can just talk to people you know or ask your neighbors. You can also post an ad on Craigslist while sites like LawnGuru and GreenPal can help you find clients.

29) Sewing

A talent that becomes increasingly less common today, sewing is a nice hobby that still makes money. For sewing hobby, you can offer repairs and alterations, create and sell home decors, create customer clothes for your clients and even teach sewing classes.

30) Decorating

If you have a good eye and have a knack on decorating and designing, then there are few ways you can turn it into money. Being an interior designer, you can be involved with all kinds of projects including residential and commercial. You can also create and sell your own home décor items. In addition, you can start a podcast, blog or even a YouTube channel on the latest home décor trends and tips.

31) Beauty and Fashion

If you are a fashionista or a beauty artist, then you can start a side hustle working as a stylist, makeup artist, or a fashion consultant. You can even create and sell your own clothing line or products— it can be hand-made or start a private label brand and find a manufacturer to create the products for you.

Read More:

How You Can Make Money Online With CTFO CBD Oil Business

Top 8 Reasons Why CTFO is One of the Fastest Growing MLM Companies

Find Out How CTFO Can be the Secret to Your Online Success

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How to Start Your Own CBD Business Without Any Sales Experience

The post 31 Surprising Hobbies That Make You Money appeared first on Sell CBD Oils.

from https://hempoilfrog.com/hobbies-that-make-you-money/

[comicsbooksnews-blog]

Box Office Preview – AVENGERS: ENDGAME is Ready to Obliterate the Box Office

Box Office Preview – AVENGERS: ENDGAME is Ready to Obliterate the Box Office

Welcome back to the Beat’s weekly Box Office Preview!

Not sure I really need to tell anyone what movie is opening this Friday, because it’s a movie that may have one of the biggest anticipation factors… maybe ever? That’s right. Marvel fans had to wait a WHOLE YEAR to find out what happens next after the climactic ending of Avengers: Infinity War and that brings us to…

AVENGERS: ENDGAME (Marvel/Disney)

Cast: Brie Larson, Scarlett Johansson, Paul Rudd, Karen Gillan, Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Josh Brolin, Tom Holland? Chadwick Boseman? Bendict Cumberbatch? Sebastian Stan? Elizabeth Olsen? Don Cheadle? (Sniff)

Directed By: Anthony and Joe Russo (Avengers: Infinity War, Captain America: Civil War, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, You, Me and Dupree)

MPAA Rating: PG-13

To say that Avengers: Endgame is the “BIG ONE” would be the understatement of the century, and that is no hyperbole either… even if it sounds like it is. Okay, it probably is, but hey, that’s the world we live in now.

Last year’s Avengers: Infinity War set a new opening record of $257.7 million, besting the opening for J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Force Awakens, which kicked off a new series for that venerable franchise. Obviously, Marvel fans were dying to find out where the storyline with Thanos would go, who would live and who would die, the story having been set-up over the course of a decade of Marvel movies. The cliffhanger ending of Infinity War floored fans and left them immediately wanting more.

Even though we might be entering new territory with Endgame, there are some precedents to consider.

In fact, before we go on, let’s look at some numbers for comparison’s sake:

Marvel’s Avengers (5/4/12)

$207.4 million opening / $623.3 million domestic total

Avengers: Age of Ultron (5/1/15)

$191.3 million / $459 million

Avengers: Infinity War (4/27/18)

$257.7 million / $678.8 million

Captain America: Civil War (5/6/16)

$179.1 million / $408.8 million

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (11/4/16)

$248 million / $936.6 million

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (12/15/17)

$220.1 million / $620.2 million

When Marvel’s The Avengers opened with more than $200 million in 2012, many thought we had seen the biggest opening weekend we might ever see. In 2015, Jurassic World beat that record, with Star Wars: The Force Awakens besting Jurassic World later that same year. The Force Awakens went on to become the highest-grossing movie in North American history with $936.6 million, and Infinity War didn’t even come close to that amount. It wasn’t even able to best Black Panther’s $700 million domestic gross earlier last year, although it did come close.

Something that’s good to point out is that despite the success of 2012’s Avengers, its sequel Avengers: Age of Ultron opened softer and made less money in total, maybe because it wasn’t a direct sequel. Similarly, The Last Jedi opened about $28 million softer than its predecessor and didn’t even come close to the monster gross of Force Awakens. Bearing that in mind, one would think that might be the same case with Endgame. Nope!

First of all, Endgame is the direct sequel to a monster blockbuster, and obviously, fans are going to want to see the movie as soon as possible in fear of having the movie spoiled for them. In fact, Marvel and the Russo Brothers (directing their fourth Marvel movie) have gone out of their way to keep as much about the movie a secret as possible, not showing the movie to anyone before the premiere on Monday night.

What’s interesting is that Endgame is the height of the Marvel Universe where the movies no longer rely on one star like Robert Downey Jr. or Chris Evans to succeed. It’s very much the sum of the parts as Brie Larson and Benedict Cumberbatch and even Paul Rudd have managed to sustain blockbuster-grossing solo movies on their own, and bringing them together has a similar effect of the very first Avengers movie.

Not only is the “sequel factor” very much in play, but there’s also the “ending of a franchise” factor, which creates an elevated interest. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is a good example of how that story ending after eight movies made the last one even more of an event. Oddly, The Hunger Games: Mockinjay – Part 2 didn’t get quite the same bump, with the finale making less than Part 1.

Although I personally have been avoiding reviews and reactions for Endgame until I get to see the movie myself, Avengers: Endgame is already proving itself one of those review-proof phenomena that any positive reviews or reactions will only help to bring in any of the few non-believers. It’s absolutely no surprise that most of the earliest reviews were positive either.

Our own Kyle Pinion also reviewed it.

When tickets went on sale for Avengers: Endgame a few weeks back, it almost literally broke the internet with demand, setting a new record for Fandango and other ticket resellers for the highest first day of sales. At this point, many Thursday night and Friday screenings are already sold out, as are many of the premium showing in IMAX and the like, so that’s a lot of money already made. (In other words, those reviews won’t really matter either way.) On Monday, it was reported that the movie had already sold somewhere between $120 and 140 million in tickets, which is huge, but that could also point to an over-saturation of advance ticket-buying that would account for the number of sell-outs on Thursday and Friday. (There are a few theaters in the country which are showing Endgame literally around the clock all weekend… just in case someone wants to see it at 3 in the morning.)

Apparently, the movie also has the largest and most expensive marketing campaign ever staged by Disney for a Marvel movie, though that shouldn’t be too surprising, as the studio has been flying most of the cast around the world for international junkets. Obviously, this movie is going to be as big overseas (or even bigger), and matching Infinity War’s $2 billion gross shouldn’t be too big a problem.

Domestically, Disney is going to give the movie their widest release for a movie ever in more than 4,600 theaters, which is very close to every theater apart from art houses. That should best Despicable Me 3’s current record of 4,529 theaters in 2017, and The Force Awakens’ record of $59,982 for a theatrical average might also be toast after this weekend.

What’s interesting is that while Endgame should set a new opening record and open bigger than Infinity War, it could be more frontloaded to the point where it will only make slightly more in total. You see, there is a certain saturation of moviegoers who will see Endgame in theaters, and it’s basically the same people who went to see Infinity War in theaters, although more of them might go out opening weekend.

I think we’re looking at quite a few new records, although I’m not sure The Force Awakens’ $57 million Thursday preview is in danger. In that case, we’re talking about almost a decade of anticipation for another movie, whereas for Endgame it’s just one year. On the other hand, Force Awakens’ single day record of $119 million could be taken down when you add Endgame’s Thursday previews into Friday.

I think we’re looking at around $48 million on Thursday, $125 million on Friday, including those previews — that would break Force Awakens’ single day record — and then somewhere around $280 million for the weekend. (I’m not brave enough to state that this can open with $300 million even if it did sell tickets faster than Infinity War – “faster” is not the same as “more.” Sunday may also see a massive drop due to an important episode of Game of Thrones, too.) The movie should also hold up well for a few weekends with Warners’ Detective Pikachu on May 10 being the first real threat, and that’s not for two more weeks. It’s officially summer, folks!

(Feel free to give your own predictions below!)

This Week’s Box Office Predictions:

Avengers: Endgame (Marvel / Disney) – $282 million N/A

2 – 10. Who Cares?!?

Just kidding… expect big drops as many theaters give up screens to meet the demand for Endgame.

The Curse of La Llorona (New Line/WB) – $11.1 million -58%

Shazam! (New Line / WB) – $7.8 million -53%

Breakthrough (20th Century Fox) – $6.2 million -45%

Captain Marvel (Marvel Studios/Disney) – $4.5 million -51%

Little (Universal) – $3.5 million -52%

Dumbo (Disney) – $3.1 million -55%

Missing Link (U.A. Releasing) – $2.3 million -45%

Pet Sematary (Paramount) – $2.2 million -55%

Us (Universal) – $2 million -52%

It may seem like suicide for ANY movie to open against Avengers: Endgame, but there are still a few independent genre films giving it a go, including Roxanne Benjamin‘s thriller Body at Brighton Rock (Magnolia), Josh Lobo’s paranoid thriller I Trapped the Devil (IFC Midnight), as well as Ralph Fiennes’ The White Crow (Sony Pictures Classics) about Rudolf Nureyev’s defection to the West.

Check back through the weekend for updates on how Avengers: Endgame is doing, as far as breaking all those records mentioned above.

Next week, four new movies will tackle the second weekend of Avengers: Endgame. Competing for 2nd place, at best, is Seth Rogen and Charlize Theron in the comedy Long Shot, the thriller The Intruder, STXfilms’ Ugly Dolls and the action-thriller El Chicano.

Content Source

[creativeprompts]

19 Websites and Magazines That Want to Publish Your Personal Essays

They’re all over your Facebook feed, and for good reason. Personal essays by popular authors and novices alike are relatable, engrossing reads.

Sometimes, their heart-wrenching reflections stay with you for days.

For reporters or academics, it can be hard to step back from research rituals and write from personal experience. But a personal essay can endear you to an audience, bring attention to an issue, or simply provide comfort to a reader who’s “been there.”

“Writing nonfiction is not about telling your story,” says Ashley C. Ford, an essayist who emphasized the importance of creating a clear connection between your personal experience and universal topics. “It’s about telling interesting and worthy stories about the human condition using examples from your life.”

But don’t worry if your life doesn’t seem exciting or heart-wrenching enough to expound upon; think of it as writing through yourself, instead of about yourself. “There are few heroes and even fewer villains in real life,” she said. “If you’re going to write about your human experience, write the truth. It’s worth it to write what’s real.”

Where to submit your personal essays

Once you’ve penned your essay, which publications should you contact? We’ve all heard of — and likely submitted to — The New York Times’ Modern Love column, but that’s not the only outlet that accepts personal narratives.

“Submit to the places you love that publish work like yours,” Ford advises, but don’t get caught up in the size of the publication. And “recognize that at small publications you’re way more likely to find someone with the time to really help you edit a piece.”

To help you find the right fit, we’ve compiled a list of 20 publications that accept essay submissions, as well as tips on how to pitch the editor, who to contact and, whenever possible, how much the outlet pays.

We’d love to make this list even more useful, so if you have additional ideas or details for these publications or others, please leave them below in the comments!

1. Boston Globe

The Boston Globe Magazine Connections section seeks 650-word first-person essays on relationships of any kind. It pays, though how much is unclear. Submit to magazine@globe.com with “query” in the subject line.

Must-read personal essay: “Duel of the Airplane-Boarding Dawdlers,” by Art Sesnovich

2. Extra Crispy

Send your pitches about breakfast, brunch, or the culture of mornings to submissions@extracrispy.com or the editor of the section you’re pitching. Pay appears to be around 40 cents per word.

Must-read personal essay: Gina Vaynshteyn’s “When Dumplings Are Resistance”

3. Dame Magazine

This publication is aimed at women over 30. “We aim to entertain, inform, and inspire,” the editors note, “But mostly entertain.” Send your pitch to editorial@damemagazine.com. Pay varies.

Must-read personal essay: “I Donated My Dead Body to Give My Life Purpose,” By Ann Votaw

4. Full Grown People

Essays — 4,000 words max — should have a “literary quality.” Include your work in the body of your email to make it easy for the editor to review, and send to submissions@fullgrownpeople.com. No pay.

Must-read personal essay: “Call My Name” by Gina Easley.

5. Kveller

Want to write for this Jewish parenting site? To submit, email info@kveller.com with “submission” somewhere in the subject line. Include a brief bio, contact information, and your complete original blog post of 700 words max. Suggested word count is 500-700 words. The site pays $25 per post.

Must-read personal essay: B.J. Epstein’s “How I’m Trying to Teach Charity to My Toddler”

6. Luna Luna

A progressive, feminist magazine that welcomes all genders to submit content. Email your pitch or full submission. There’s no pay, but it’s a supportive place for a first-time essayist.

Must-read personal essay: “My Body Dysmorphia, Myself” by Joanna C. Valente

7. New Statesman

This U.K. magazine has a helpful contributor’s guide. Unsolicited submissions, while rarely accepted, are paid; if an editor likes your pitch, you’ll hear back in 24 hours.

Must-read personal essay: “The Long Ride to Riyadh,” by Dave Eggers

8. The New York Times

The popular Modern Love feature accepts submissions of 1,700 words max at modernlove@nytimes.com. Include a Word attachment, but also paste the text into your message. Consult the Times’ page on pitching first, and like Modern Love on Facebook for even more insight. Rumor has it that a successful submission will earn you $250. (Correction added Oct. 9, 2014: Payment is $300, The New York Times writes on its Facebook page.)

Amy Sutherland’s column, “What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage,” which ran in 2006, landed her a book contract with Random House and a movie deal with Lionsgate, which is in preproduction. “I never saw either coming,” Sutherland said.

Another option is the Lives column in the New York Times Magazine. To submit, email lives@nytimes.com.

Must-read personal essay: “When a Couch is More Than a Couch” by Nina Riggs

9. Salon

Salon accepts articles and story pitches to the appropriate section with “Editorial Submission” in the subject line and the query/submission in the body of the email. Include your writing background or qualifications, along with links to three or four clips.

“I was compensated $150 for my essay,” says Alexis Grant, founder of The Write Life, “but that was several years ago. All in all, working with the editor there was a great experience.” Who Pays Writers reports average pay of about 10 cents per word.

Must-read personal essay: “I Fell in Love with a Megachurch,” by Alexis Grant

10. Slate

Indicate the section you’re pitching and “article submission” in your subject line, and send to slateoffice@slate.com. Average reported pay is about 23 cents per word.

Must-read personal essay: Justin Peters’ “I Sold Bill Murray a Beer at Wrigley Field”

11. Slice

Each print issue has a specific cultural theme and welcomes both fiction and nonfiction. Stories and essays of 5,000 words max earn up to $250. Review periods are limited, so check their submission guidelines to make sure your work will be read with the next issue in mind. Submit online.

Must-read personal essay: “Fire Island,” by Christopher Locke

12. The Billfold

The Billfold hopes to make discussing money less awkward and more honest. Send your pitch to notes@thebillfold.com. Who Pays Writers notes a  rate of about 3 cents per word, but this writer would consider the experience and exposure to be worth the low pay.

Must-read personal essay: “The Story of a F*** Off Fund,” by Paulette Perhach

13. Motherwell

Motherwell seeks parenting-related personal essay submissions of up to 1200 words. Submit a full piece; all contributors are paid.

Must-read personal essay: “The Length of the Pause” by Tanya Mozias Slavin

14. The Bold Italic

This publication focuses on California’s Bay Area. Strong POV and a compelling personal writing style are key. Pay varies. Email producers@thebolditalic.com.

Must-read personal essay: “The San Francisco Preschool Popularity Contest,” by Rhea St. Julien

15. Bustle

Submit essays of 800-2000 words to this lifestyle site geared toward women. Pay averages about 5 cents per word.

Must-read personal essay: “Is Picky Eating An Eating Disorder?” by Kaleigh Roberts

16. The Rumpus

Focuses on essays that “intersect culture.” Submit finished essays online in the category that fits best. Wait three months before following up.

Must-read personal essay: “Not a Widow” by Michelle Miller

17. The Penny Hoarder

This personal-finance website welcomes submissions that discuss ways to make or save money. Read the guidelines before emailing your submission. Pay varies.

Must-read personal essay: “This Family’s Drastic Decision Will Help Them Pay Off $100K in Debt in 5 Years” by Maggie Moore

18. Tin House

Submit a story or essay of 10,000 words max in either September or March. Wait six days before emailing to check the status of your submission. Cover letters should include a word count and indicate whether the submission is fiction, nonfiction, or poetry.

Pay varies.

Must-read personal essay: “More with Less,” by Rachel Yoder

19. Narratively

Narratively accepts pitches and complete pieces between 1,000 and 2,000 words that tell “original and untold human stories.” Pay averages 6 cents per word.

Must-read personal essay: “What Does a Therapist Do When She Has Turmoil of Her Own?” by Sherry Amatenstein

Still looking for ideas? Meghan Ward’s blog post, “20 Great Places to Publish Personal Essays,” is worth perusing. MediaBistro also offers a section called How to Pitch as part of their AvantGuild subscription, which has an annual fee of $55.

Source: The Write Life

[dearchuchu]

WestJet, justfly, probably worse than Canada.

Wow, where to even start. This series of flights was the most messed up we have experienced in all our travels (scroll down, it’s not our first trip). Let me start by being completely fair and true, we arrived pretty close to when we were supposed to, safely, and with all our luggage. As far as airlines go, that’s pretty much the goal, which they succeed in.

As far as customer service? Lol.

It started in Charleston, at the check in, there was no one in line at all and multiple workers just standing around. We usually self check and this guy, obviously bored is like, “How can I help?” So we go to check in with him. This is where the whole thing goes off the rails. Apparently, we don’t have our seats on the flight. He starts getting into it, and it makes less sense the further he digs. (We’re not sure who is to blame here)

Quickly there are no less than 4 employees involved in fixing this matter. The first guy is on the phone with some other guy somewhere else on his end trying to sort things out. All in all, we stand around for over 30 minutes while people go back and forth trying to figure out what is going wrong. We have confirmed seats on our end, no one else does.

This gets out of hand quickly. They reprint all our tickets with completely new seats. Seats we paid extra to pick. We board, fly to New York, and have our layover. When we go to board our flight to Toronto, guess what? Everything is messed up.

The employee from Westjet tells us we’re already in our seats, or rather, they are already full (rudely). Great. We have to catch this flight to get our next flight. Well no worries, she gets another two people on it, ignores us, and keeps checking people in as we stand to the side wondering, “who has our seats, do we have seats?”. The other guy comes back, “Here are your seats” comply different seats, not together. Awesome.

We’re both like, “Whatever, it’s an hour flight.” I can assure you it is the longest hour flight ever. I sat between two guys who smelled like garbage. I certainly can’t blame the airline for that, except wait, one of those seats was supposed to be my wife, who paid extra to sit by me. But welcome to your honeymoon!

We get that over, then… Hey, thanks again Canada (customs previous post). At this point we had 2 tickets each to London due to redoing the tickets in New York (if memory serves) and we had been through TSA security once, and customs once. Our original tickets we were told weren’t good, even though that was a glitch on an earlier flight. We decided to try our first tickets, but tell them we had been given two sets, just to be honest. The WestJet employee.. that’s #westjet told the other employee not to honor the tickets we paid extra for through justfly, that’s #justfly . Literally told them, “take whatever is most recent”. When I said, “well we paid extra to have the seats we wanted on our honeymoon flight out of the country to London.” He dug through a bag to give me a card so that I can contact someone for reimbursement.

Customer service. I’ve done it for years, that’s basically how it’s done right. Don’t fix the issue, make things worse, then pawn it off to some bullshit business card that I have to call so that you don’t have to deal with it. Well played.

Let me go on about Westjet… On the flight from New York to Toronto (thanks again Canada) a women behind me, but not behind my wife, she was in a different row, even though we paid extra for our seats #westjet #justfly anyways, she had an extra bag. 3 bags. A flight attendant told her she would have to check it, reasonable; the lady said no, not reasonable, there was a back and forth, but literally, the flight attendant went to, ”I’ll kick you off the plane" as fast as possible. I couldn’t believe it. Then she told the lady to not have an attitude. I understand we all have bad days, but… Customer service… Am I right? Yelling at your customers to not have an attitude or you’ll kick them off the plane. Pretty much text book training.

I digress. I’m trying not to ramble…

So the picture in this post is to where on every trans Atlantic flight I’ve ever had, there is a screen. A screen to watch movies or TV shows. It’s there because it’s 2017, and you know, it’s an over 6 hour flight. See what it says there, ”tablet use only". OK this seemed like bullshit to me at first, but it truly is a good concept. If it was implemented in any kind of logical way, which it isn’t.

WestJet is a low cost airline service, we knew that going in, but apparently you get what you pay for. Air Asia is a low cost airline service, but I still had a TV and a meal, at a lower cost… But I digress. The concept is, with your tablet or phone, you can connect to their free in house wifi to access their TV’s and movies! Great right? Because everyone has a tablet and smart phone, it’s 2017!

If you are some sad sack who doesn’t have a tablet or smartphone phone…. Get ready for this… You can rent one for like 9 dollars Canadian for the flight! Sweet! Unlike most luddites of 2017, I have both a smart phone, and a tablet! Great news everyone, I don’t have to spent 6 hours looking at the words “Tablet use only max 1kg”. Except when I do.

To access the over 700 hours of free TV and movies, all you need is to connect to the in flight wifi, fire up the WestJet app, and your good to go. Because, you all have the WestJet app already installed on all your devices, right? The app with horrible scathing reviews about it’s garbage design and complete failure to use (sorry to the coders, they probably didn’t pay you enough, I get it). Well you sit right down and get ready for the shock of your life… I didn’t have said app installed on ANY of my devices! So here I am, in a middle seat, of a middle row, with my wife on our honeymoon in the aisle seat. There we are, glaring back at the people in our seats a few rows back, looking out the window on what is undoubtedly a unicorn crapping out rainbows, and I’m trying to download this app, so I can get to all this amazing content. People, we are talking about 700 hours of prime free content. All you have to do is log into the in-flight wifi, load up the app and your good. The hardest part would be trying to decide WHAT content to watch. I mean you only have the 6 hour flight. Well, the hour and a half delay on the tarmac, but beyond that… 6 hours out of 700 hours…I mean… WHAT TO WATCH? My god! I was leaning towards Doctor strange, but I had reservations, because I really feel like that deserves a big screen viewing, and not my tablet. Oh, right… My tablet didn’t have the app, so I couldn’t access any of it. But wait, couldn’t I download the app off the in house wifi? No idiot. Stop being stupid. You have to PAY for the wifi for data. I mean, sure, the 700 hours of TV and movies are totally free, if you have a tablet and smart phone, and if those devices already have the WestJet app installed. I mean, if you were some kind of idiot that DIDN’T install some low budget airline app before you flew across the Atlantic ocean for 6 hours, after a longer than an hour delay on your honeymoon, when you got your seats replaced 4 times, in a course of flights that took almost 17 hours total…. (Including layover) You’d have to pay $9 Canadian for wifi to download the app so you can ACCESS the free 700 hours of free entertainment. I mean or you can pay for the tablet.

Or wait, you can tell all your friends online what actually happened in real life. Or I guess I do have that card that one guy managed to find.

Ah it wasn’t that bad, I had lots of games saved on my tablet, Mandy tried to sleep. For only 9 dollars I could have had what literally every other carrier I’ve ever flown on internationally just provides for free. Oh also free food. Oh and liquor and beer. I mean literally, every single other time I’ve flown internationally, this is a given. I mean, EVERY international flight I’ve been on. I guess it’s culture shock. Oh, and horrible customer service.

The moral of this story is, going forward, I’d rather pay more than fly WestJet.

But let’s be fair, I didn’t die, my luggage arrived, and we were relatively close to on time. We saved a little money. So there you go. If you want to save some money for a lackluster experience, there is WestJet.