#motherhoodtruths

[momsden]

A mom, writer and an engineer born in pandemic! 😂 🎉 . . . . . #momsden #motherhooduprising #motherhoodinspired #motherhoodrocks #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodthroughig #graduationuniversity #motherhoodunited #motherhoodintheraw #motherhoodblog #motherhoodismagic #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodslens #motherhoodunfiltered #motherhoodandme #motherhoodmaternity #motherhoodiscolorful #motherhoodlens #motherhoodtruths #motherhoodwhat #boymomforlife #boymomsrock #boymomadventures #studentmom #boymommy #momwriter #writermom #authorsofinsta #momswhoblog #studentmomlife (at Novi Sad, Serbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAc16RznJPp/?igshid=tug7zm4h49l0

[cindeebaibee]

Well Its Friday and I don’t think I have ever properly introduced myself on social 🙈 thought it would be a good time since I’m re-branding my look (just in case you haven’t noticed 😅👀😜)⠀ ⠀ 1. My real name is Cindy & I’m a mommy lifestyle blogger. I’ve always hated the spelling of my name. I wanted to be different. Lol so I took on the social media alias of Cindee & then added “Baibee” just cuz it flowed 😅⠀ ⠀ 2. Mom of 6 here (obviously lol) but not many know that 4 of them are from previous relationships. I was a single mom of 4 at a very young age at one point. Thought about writing a blog on a few things about co-parenting 🤯 & being in a new relationship with kids after a traumatic break up 💛 what do you think?!⠀ ⠀ 3. My friends say I’m so blissFULL never knew what that meant (thanks google!) but I think I’m just really grateful for many things in my life 💛 not much to complain 😖 except the struggles of motherhood haha even then I’m just blessed to even experience what it’s all about 🙈⠀ ⠀ 4. I’m a hairpiece consultant & marketing coordinator for a hairpiece company. Which means I specialize in helping those who are experiencing hair loss find the right hair system. 💛 from medical wigs to hair extensions 🙌.⠀ ⠀ 5. A “love yourself” advocate. I experienced multiple abusive relationships in my past. It wasn’t until I learnt the value of “love + yourself” that I started to change my life 💛 && Life is just much more beautiful when you learn to value your worth & start taking care of “YOU”. My goal now is to inspire women to be the best version of themselves through beauty and self-care 💁🏻‍♀️⠀ ⠀ ⠀ So there you have it! Just a little piece of what Cindeebaibee is all about. I’ve met some incredible people on here && I hope to get to know you all a little better too 💛💛💛⠀ ⠀ Now it’s your turn, tell me something I didn’t know about you ??⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ #mommyproblems #motherhoodalive #momlifebelike #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodthroughinstagram #motherhooduncut #motherhoodiscolorful #motherhoodbliss #motherhoodtruths #mommybloggers #mommyblog #motherhoodsimplified #mommydiaries #mothercare #mommyhood #momentsofmine #momsofinsta #momsofinstagram (at Toronto, C•a•n•a•d•a) https://www.instagram.com/p/CD472uJlx9P/?igshid=1do8jl8ktr4s5

[shesthehonestmom]

Literally no in between 😂😂 #wednesdaymood #wednesdaywisdom #lazymom #supermom #supermoms #momconfessions #momtruth #momtruths #motherhoodtruths #motherhoodstruggles #motherhoodunfiltered #momlifebalance #momlifestruggles #momlifeinspo #motherhoodlife #lifewithkids #lifewithtoddlers #lifewithbabies #naptimehustle #naptime😴 #naptime (at Northville, Michigan) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw649Dhgv5l/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1j7upyoms9bsl

[the-mamas-project]

The MAMAS Project - Jena

This month’s post is a bit different. One half of TMP, Jena, joins the ranks of brave moms who have shared their motherhood successes, struggles, and insight. The ultimate realness. Instead of our typical interview format, this post is self-written. Always having had a way with words, Jena’s voice on the page, her rawness, will draw you in. Oh, and give you all the feels. 

I think I have always wanted to be a mother, but I had spent most of my early twenties travelling, then found myself in nursing school and in a relationship. Just as I was about to graduate and start my career, I was suddenly pregnant. At that point, I hadn’t thought much about parenthood, other than the occasional non-rational and typical-of-me sentiment, I want a baby, that would make things more…insert stable, happy, real. Whatever emotion I was feeling in the moment. Not a planner, motherhood really played to the unpredictability that guided my life early on. 

The truth is, our relationship had been a bit on and off in the six months prior to getting pregnant. At the time we conceived, we had just re-committed to making it work, and thought, perhaps we were ready to think about children. I had gone off the pill. However, the idea hadn’t fully sunk in, since we were still working on being good partners for each other. 

Chronically unsatisfied, I had been running away from any kind of stability for years. As the child of a diplomat, my family moved from country to country, experiencing the rich culture of East Africa, the Middle East and Caribbean, always travelling and having new adventures as a family. By the time I was in university at 17, I was used to people being on the go and people being in awe of my travels and up bringing, sometimes thinking my story was much more interesting than me. In my first university degree, I continued the chase. Unhappy with the environment in Halifax, I ran to India, then Malta, across Eastern Europe…then back to a small Ontario town, where I thought a diploma in photojournalism would be my key to an interesting job, therefore sustaining an interesting life. 

What I am articulating, is that I have always had this insatiable desire to be on a new adventure, to create a life as interesting as my childhood had been. 

Without detailing the millions of paths I started and stopped in my early twenties, I eventually moved to BC to find some answers. A worshipper of serendipity, I thought the signs would eventually be clear. 

My husband and I met the year I moved to Vancouver. I made the move from Kits to Commercial drive in search of a new start in the city. When I walked into his restaurant looking for a job as a waitress, I locked eyes with him as he descended the back stairs of the restaurant in his soccer uniform and was immediately attracted to him. I remember the moment vividly. I even remember the green and white striped v-neck sweater I was wearing, I kept it for years. 

Shortly after I was hired, I told him over the bar late one night, I think we are going to be really good friends for a long time. We fell for each other quickly and had an end of summer romance that came to an abrupt halt in the fall. We were on and off for the first five months, but by Christmas, after a trip to Argentina and Uruguay together, I was ready to move in above the restaurant, and the more serious portion of our relationship started. The next four years, I would break the relationship off twice, searching for something different. Stuck in the mundane cycle of full time school, I thought ending my relationship would give me the change I needed. I would look for things wrong with my partner, rather than try to focus on what I was unhappy with about myself. It was after one of my Christmas meltdowns, that we found ourselves pregnant. 

We were excited and I knew having Nico was the right decision. It gave us a new zeal and commitment, as we bought a house and attempted to prepare for something you can never prepare totally for: parenthood. 

Want to know how to feel the most lonely you’ve ever felt? Become a new parent before all your friends do, move to a city where none of your friends live, and go on maternity leave, 4 months after starting a new job that you love. As you can imagine, the collision of all these things, on top of my chronic un-satisfaction with the present, led to me feeling trapped. 

Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a mom and my child was perfect to me. I now know how lucky I am to be able to conceive a healthy child without difficulty, but I was in a deep and dark mourning for the person I had been and the life I once had.

Motherhood itself is a crazy change. It is the death of your ability to be totally selfish. The death of your free will to make choices that only impact yourself. You now must keep another human being alive, love it, teach and try to keep yourself in good condition to do so. It’s the biggest challenge and I don’t know anyone who has met it with 100% precision. And the biggest joke of all, is even though you know you will never be perfect at it, you will still always hold guilt over your head when you make a mistake or do something you regret. Your expectations of yourself will be kicked in the face on the daily.

I did find my swing with Nico, although, I still hadn’t let go of the deep sense I had inside, that I was missing out. That while motherhood was awesome, there was so much living going around me and excitement in the lives of my non-parent friends, and I was being held back. The ultimate fomo (fear of missing out). We did a ton of activities, we made new friends. And when friends of mine started having babies, the loneliness started to subside. But I ached to get back to working, to have a purpose separate from motherhood. I hadn’t been prepared to be a mother, and letting go of what I thought I would be doing (travelling to foreign countries to nurse), was hard. 

When I got back to work, time went into fast-forward.  Things were great. We got married, and were pregnant again before we knew it. But this time I was prepared. I had friends with babies, I knew what to expect. I knew it would be hard, harder even. But I knew that time had already gone too fast, and that I only had one chance to give number two everything I had. 

Luca arrived healthy, Nico transitioned and so did I. I think I loved harder the second time, and gave Luca more moments than I was able to give Nico. I rocked Luca to sleep every night, not getting frustrated as often. I still rock him to sleep. I let Nico grow up too fast in my mind. By the age of one I remember looking at Nico and thinking he was a toddler, when the same time rolled around for Luca, I remember thinking, he’s such a baby! Since Luca, I think I have embraced and accepted motherhood more, I wholeheartedly know I am where I need to be. I know others want to be where I am and I struggle knowing they have difficulty bearing children, and I don’t take that for granted. But the struggle of raising children is still real. Because its hard, it is so hard. There are days when I just want to run away, I would even take a prison cell, if it meant I could sleep and not have to answer to a million other needs before my own. The days where I am full-time disciplining, and I think my kids hate me, and I hate myself…the pain is deep. But it is also temporary, because the next day can be divine. It’s never boring, but sometimes, I just want to feel the ache of boredom, a feeling that used to haunt me and make me feel unaccomplished. 

And this late fall, I had a bit of a mental collapse. I hadn’t been sleeping, maybe 5 hours a night, and never more than 2 hours at a time. I was working nights and days, and lots. I was carting my kids to activities, but not enjoying them because I had a million other commitments that I had put on my plate. This is typical of me, in my quest to stay interesting/interested, I will commit to more than I can handle and then it backfires in my face. I had no love to give, and the guilt was eating me away. It eventually corroded my immune system too, and I was hit with a bad flu. 

I think I am on the other side of the mental and physical drain. And the answer wasn’t what I thought it would be. I have historically found my worth in activity, adventure and achievement. But forced to shut down, I found peace in the mundane, the non-adventure. Watching too much TV with my kids when they were also sick. Letting the house get messy. Letting the lists pile up. But, feeling present. Not living in the midst of the next adventure, but in the bliss of today. I think this is me admitting that I have felt ashamed to be, just a mom. I have wanted to hold more than just this title, yet, it’s when I can juggle being just a mom well, that I feel best. Not when I am spreading myself so thin that I the guilt of being half present erodes my being. 

When we interview mothers, we always ask, do you have any regrets? More often than not, the answer is, no, this path got me to here. I get that, but I do have regrets. I regret not being more present, not just in motherhood, but in so many junctures in my life. My husband says, stop living for next week, enjoy what you’re doing today. He knows best, that in the heat of the moment I am usually planning my next steps, not living in the current footprint. I also regret not knowing, that while I was pining to be seen as a person beyond a mother, that being a mother made me great, made me dynamic and made me strong. 

After all is said and done, (although, god knows I will have more breakdowns, bad weeks, days and years), motherhood took a very fragile, self-conscious me and made me feel worth, depth and strength I had never known. It’s all reflected in how beautiful my kids are and how much they love me. It made me the person that looked at myself in December and said, something is wrong, you’re not happy, and that’s ok. You don’t have to run or change your life, your life is good still.

Now, at this very moment, I am on a beautiful vacation with my little family, and while we have learned that travelling with kids is not easy, I believe the memories are worth every bit of hardship. And perhaps in a way that I hadn’t expected, I am fulfilling my need for change and wanderlust through the tiny and wide-eyed little boys that go almost everywhere with me. 

Written by Jena 

Edited by Sarah

Photographed by Jena (+ her amazing husband Corrado)

[cindeebaibee]

Someone once asked “how do you do it with 6 kids” ⠀ ⠀ My response: “easy, just be grateful for everyday you get to be with them & the universe grants you the patience 💛”⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ ( most of time 😆)⠀ ⠀ ⠀ #mommyproblems #motherhoodalive #momlifebelike #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodthroughinstagram #motherhooduncut #motherhoodiscolorful #motherhoodbliss #motherhoodtruths #mommybloggers #mommyblog #motherhoodsimplified #mommydiaries #mothercare #mommyhood #momentsofmine #momsofinsta #momsofinstagram (at Toronto, C•a•n•a•d•a) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCdsAHNFpPY/?igshid=zrvah2b2q149

[cindeebaibee]

Guesswork who’s getting in between us today?! Lol SLEEP! 😂😂😂 ⠀ _________________⠀ It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good nights sleep. I don’t even think I know what it feels like to really have a full 8hrs. Haha but sometimes you just need that extra boost to get that rest in instead of that extra boost to stay up.⠀ ⠀ Sleep is for recovery & I forget that sometimes! ⠀ ⠀ What’s your favourite boost you use to get a good nights sleep?⠀ . . . . . ⠀ #motherhoodtruths #motherhoodlife #motherhoodisdarling #motherhoodblogger #motherhoodbliss #mommyhoodrocks #motherhooduncensored #motherhood_squares #mommyandmeday #realmotherhood #motherhoodalive #mommybloggers #motherhood #motherhoodmoments #honestlymothering #motherhoodlens #momsofinsta #momswithcameras #babyboy #cutebabyclub #cutebabyboy (at Toronto, C•a•n•a•d•a) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCbWYyrFIM7/?igshid=1lbwek0ihy0ic

[momsden]

We're unashamed of owning a selfie stick. We don't have a lot of family photos. Kind of makes it okay. 😅🤳 . . . . . #momsden #motherhooduprising #motherhoodinspired #motherhoodrocks #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodthroughig #MOTHERHOODALIVE #motherhoodunited #motherhoodintheraw #motherhoodblog #motherhoodismagic #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodslens #motherhoodunfiltered #motherhoodandme #motherhoodmaternity #motherhoodiscolorful #motherhoodlens #motherhoodtruths #motherhoodwhat #boymomforlife #boymomsrock #boymomadventures #boymomma #boymommy #momwriter #writermom #authorsofinsta #momswhoblog #stopdropandmom (at Belgrade, Serbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBoSLcUnLkx/?igshid=kb68n5hrv1ze

[momsden]

Tonight, we sleep not. From mother's lap, a book we promote. . . . . . #momsden #motherhooduprising #motherhoodinspired #motherhoodrocks #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodthroughig #MOTHERHOODALIVE #motherhoodunited #motherhoodintheraw #motherhoodblog #motherhoodismagic #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodslens #motherhoodunfiltered #motherhoodandme #motherhoodmaternity #motherhoodiscolorful #motherhoodlens #motherhoodtruths #motherhoodwhat #boymomforlife #boymomsrock #boymomadventures #boymomma #boymommy #momwriter #writermom #authorsofinsta #momswhoblog #stopdropandmom (at Denver, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBJu2X8HPbm/?igshid=1q4rl0lb2u9an

[momsden]

Apparently, these two parents aren't entertaining enough on a walk, therefore, a nap needs to be taken in case of boredom. 😂😪 . . . . . #momsden #motherhooduprising #motherhoodinspired #motherhoodrocks #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodthroughig #MOTHERHOODALIVE #motherhoodunited #motherhoodintheraw #motherhoodblog #motherhoodismagic #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodslens #motherhoodunfiltered #motherhoodandme #motherhoodmaternity #motherhoodiscolorful #motherhoodlens #motherhoodtruths #motherhoodwhat #boymomforlife #boymomsrock #boymomadventures #boymomma #boymommy #momwriter #writermom #authorsofinsta #momswhoblog #stopdropandmom (at Rumenka) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBEBBozHO5O/?igshid=1awla9242zxb9

[momsden]

Today is a fun day! We're listening to music, taking hilarious selfies and enjoying my last day as a student mom! 📚 That's right - I'm graduating from university tomorrow!! 😍 🎉 Any fellow student parents on this rollercoaster of a journey? How are you doing? 😊 . . . . . #momsden #motherhooduprising #motherhoodinspired #motherhoodrocks #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodthroughig #MOTHERHOODALIVE #motherhoodunited #motherhoodintheraw #motherhoodblog #motherhoodismagic #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodslens #motherhoodunfiltered #motherhoodandme #motherhoodmaternity #motherhoodiscolorful #motherhoodlens #motherhoodtruths #motherhoodwhat #boymomforlife #boymomsrock #boymomadventures #studentmom #boymommy #momwriter #writermom #authorsofinsta #momswhoblog #studentmomlife (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAah4bhHn93/?igshid=qb7yc3i2nlve

[momsden]

Today is a fun day! We're listening to music, taking hilarious selfies and enjoying my last day as a student mom! 📚 That's right - I'm graduating from university tomorrow!! 😍 🎉 Any fellow student parents on this rollercoaster of a journey? How are you doing? 😊 . . . . . #momsden #motherhooduprising #motherhoodinspired #motherhoodrocks #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodthroughig #MOTHERHOODALIVE #motherhoodunited #motherhoodintheraw #motherhoodblog #motherhoodismagic #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodslens #motherhoodunfiltered #motherhoodandme #motherhoodmaternity #motherhoodiscolorful #motherhoodlens #motherhoodtruths #motherhoodwhat #boymomforlife #boymomsrock #boymomadventures #studentmom #boymommy #momwriter #writermom #authorsofinsta #momswhoblog #studentmomlife (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAah4bhHn93/?igshid=15hy8c747nxsb

[momsden]

We haven't been on a proper car ride since the beginning of pandemic. For the first time in a very long time, we got into the car - guess what Viktor decided was the best way to spend this time on. 😴 🤣 Overall, it was a great day! I love watching this little one sleep btw!! . . . . . #momsden #motherhooduprising #motherhoodinspired #motherhoodrocks #motherhoodmoments #motherhoodthroughig #MOTHERHOODALIVE #motherhoodunited #motherhoodintheraw #motherhoodblog #motherhoodismagic #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodslens #motherhoodunfiltered #motherhoodandme #motherhoodmaternity #motherhoodiscolorful #motherhoodlens #motherhoodtruths #motherhoodwhat #boymomforlife #boymomsrock #boymomadventures #boymomma #boymommy #momwriter #writermom #authorsofinsta #momswhoblog #stopdropandmom (at Houston, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CARDydvnKGS/?igshid=1ry6x3i3flcnz

[shesthehonestmom]

Girls night at the grocery store, who's in?!? 😂😂 Credit: @someecards #gno #girlsnightout #momsnightout #momsnight #momnightout #motherhoodforreal #motherhoodtruths #momlifeforreal #momlifestruggles #momlifebelike #nokids #nokidsallowed #thursdaythoughts #thursdaythought #sorrynotsorry #sorrykids #kidfree #momming #mommingainteasy (at Northville, Michigan) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt3EKpUgvp6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1gtx1wruhgnef