#motherfucker if I want something done unless I Explictly Ask someone else I'm planning to do it myself.

[cesium-sheep]

he called to hang out before she left for work and everything was fine but he wanted to ask logistics questions and she didn't want to but didn't feel like she could say anything to stop it and they both got really audibly frustrated in a way they normally don't and it feels like the locus was placed on me even though she literally just said afterwards that I was behaving very normally for me. I stopped engaging with the conversation after I'd said the one piece that actually mattered which was just, an option can be bad, sure, but it sounds like some options are being outright discarded out of hand rather than just filed as low preference, which seemed to make him more frustrated, and after some more lecturing he did apologize for "kind of jumping down [my] throat" and I pointed out I wasn't engaging anymore and he was like "great idea" and just. hung up. and then arin talked about her own frustrations and really did make it sound like she was putting it on me, which was just a gut feeling during the actual argument but like. that sucks? that's bullshit. especially if this was totally normal behavior for me, which she independently confirmed earlier in the sort-of debrief, why is it on me that it went poorly this time? and she had to leave for work so I only had time to express to her that it feels unfair without expecting a response and now she's gone and he's gone and they're both mad at me and I legitimately didn't even do anything. and my brain wasn't having a good time to start with. and now I gotta fuckin unpack this shit with both of them at their own fucking convenience, cuz he has very little model for this type of stuff and I don't know if she's going to be more resistant to it since she's kind of blaming me for losing her time with him and I really don't fucking want to but it can't just be left to rot.