#mostly several failed and incredibly miserable attempts st it since
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I just want to go to sleep but instead these asshole kids are having simultaneous meltdowns and holy fuck it feels like the space between our eyes is melting
#columbine is utterly and completely convinced we are either going to die in a car crash on tuesday or get taken to crazy jail.#apotheosis thinks its likely and is still fucking throwing itself at this and i hate it for that#i am not particularly convinced#everyone is clawing apart me from the inside and wants to explode though. extremely fucking overwhelming#hard to not be extremely stressed just from like. a nervous system perspective#we had a decent run of being sble to drive long distance early this year but uh.#mostly several failed and incredibly miserable attempts st it since#so it is very hard to not expect it to go the same this time.#although. i have not been around for several weeks. and my current cognizance in response to these dumbfuck little kids completely failing#to be capable of coherent thought#does seem to be a positive sign in relation to healing somewhat from this summers bout of fun and sexy neurological problems.
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