#mostly joke
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can you all IMAGINE being Vaggie???
you're an exorcist. You're supposed to kill demons. You're an angel. All you're life you've followed the first man, and heard tales about the dangers of questioning heaven. Tales about Lucifer. You know he's not to be messed with and that he's the king of hell. That heaven FEARS him to a degree.
then you show compassion to ONE demon once, against Adam's orders, and boom. Now you're cast out. You're stuck in hell. Oops this cute girl shows up??? She's taking care of you?? Clearly your intuition that maybe the sinners didn't all deserve to be killed were correct. She's nicer than a lot of people in heaven-WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS PRECIOUS BEAN IS LUCIFER'S DAUGHTER???
clearly heaven was wrong about a lot of things, so if the big bad lucifer has a daughter this sweet, maybe something is up with him???
And then you meet him, and like, meeting your partner's parents is already nerve wracking and this is supposed to be THE king of hell, THE fallen angel, THE GUY THAT HEAVEN FEARS and the first thing he does is completely flub his words out of excitement, mispronounces your name, hugs you and calls you pretty???
like how weird is that to process????
#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#lucifer#charlie morningstar#vaggie#mini analysis#mostly joke#I was rewatching Dad beat dad and suddenly it just sorta hit me#how weird this must have been for Vaggie#what were her previous expectations of the man??#were they good?#were they bad???#what did she think was going to happen?#was she surprised?#pleasantly or unpleasantly#actually probably pleasantly cuz he was very nice to her#then would she be like#oh duh he is an angel#or would she be floored cuz heaven painted him out to be this total villain???#WHAT IS THIS ALL EVEN LIKE FOR VAGGIE???
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i hope when you guys imagine female Ian Gallagher, you picture me
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Wait if transmascs on T develop prostate tissue does that mean they should get prostate exams
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Lowkey grinds my gears when people tag me in pictures of gar
Like he is beautiful he is wonderful but he is not a sturgeon
He doesn’t even have denticles
he doesn’t even scutes
Come on guys let’s put on our thinking caps
#sturgeon#fishblr#this is a joke mostly#I also recognize that it’s silly to get frustrated over#your honor please I have autism#rant#i guess#not sturgeon???
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Bruce owes Danny money. He does Not want to pay up.
So! Danny had to run away from Amity Park when his parents discovered his Powers. But every time he tried to stay in a single place in America, they somehow managed to find him.
Turns out, they were working with the GIW to track him using the GIW's resources and the Fenton's Genius to find him everywhere he ran to. Eventually, Danny figured he had had enough and ran to Europe where the GIW had no Jurisdiction.
After wandering for a while, Danny was found and recruited by the League of Assasins. He was powerful, skilled, and connected to the Lazarus Pits, so they approached him with a job offer.
They would hide him from the Fentons, who had began to search for him in Europe independently, and in return he would work for them as an Assasin.
Considering his situation, Danny agreed.
He began training to be an Assasin, supplementing his Ghost Abilities with the abilities of an Assasin to become even more Stealthy.
While training under the League, Danny met another recruit simply known as Bruce. They trained together for years, even going on a few missions together gathering intel, and using disguises to hid in plain sight.
On one of these missions, Danny lent Bruce some money with the promise to get paid back when they returned to the League. That same night, Bruce left the League of Assasins and never came back.
...
Bruce was sitting in the Batcave going over a case with Tim, Jason was off to the side cleaning his Guns, and Dick and Cass were holding an acrobatics competition in their Obstacle Course, with Damien, Steph, and Duke cheering them on.
Suddenly an Eldritch Emerald Light sprang to life in the center of the Batcave, and everybody dropped what they were doing and sprang to action.
Slowly, a glowing green figure emerged from the Light. He appeared Eldritch in Nature, as if he existed in multiple layers of reality at once and looking at him gave them minor headaches. Then, the figure spoke up.
"BRUCE. ITS BEEN 15 YEARS. YOU STILL OWE ME 16 DOLLARS."
Recognizing Danny, Bruce took a moment to compose himself before responding.
"Fuck Off."
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Danny is in the League of Assasins#He was friend with Bruce#He mostly works on Infiltration and Intel Gathering but still assassinated on occasion#He's a Ghost so death doesn't mean much to him#Danny is a little shit#Yes I made this entire post for that joke#This is not the first time Danny has done this#Its just the most public one#That's why Bruce is so unfazed at Danny#He has been refusing to pay Danny back for 15 Years#Its the entire reason he left the League when he did#At this point it's a matter of Principal#He will Never give Danny his money.#Never
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i can’t believe reverse fujioshi is coming back
I love yuri memes, but at this point it feels like half the time the joke is just "romance between queer men is shallow and meaningless," and I'm being expected to laugh at it when I'm the butt of said joke
#mostly joke#phrasing is a joke#god#being a gay man is a nightmare sometimes#bc watch people are gonna bitch about this post bc it’s about men and yeah men suck but like not all of them all the time and it’s damaging
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Fuck that post going around saying "you can have coffee in your story without justifying it :) you don't need to explain everything :)" I want, no, I DEMAND a fully researched ethnobotanical paper on every single food item in your work, if you don't explain to me where did potatoes come from in your fantasy setting or don't explain how the industry of coffee works over interstellar distances with full detail you are doing things wrong and I personally hate you and I hate your stupid story, fuck you
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That's how it went
#tma#the magnus archives#tma podcast#magpod#mag 160#tma spoilers#tma s4#tma season four#jonathan sims#elias bouchard#my stuff#thats all i could think of after hearing elias talk abt jon being an archive#all jokes aside it makes me so sad and crazy to think abt it#like theres a lot in tma about losing ones humanity#and jons choices surely contribute to him losing it as well#but for the most part its him being dehumanised by others#well mostly elias and his plans of creating an archive of fear#jon going from 'a person having a position (the head archivist)' -> 'a person being a position (the archivist)' and finally to 'a position#(an archive)#its just so sad#and the fact that it ties with him losing bodily autonomy and being viewed like an object instead of a person#im dead on the floor crying#okay im done sorry#tma shitpost
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in the span of hours tumblr has banned an out trans woman who was outspoken about her harrassment and the unfairness of the website's system and MULTIPLE out trans women who commented on the absurdity of the situation--has even banned them for posting pictures of hammers and cars.
if staff thought this was going to make the situation go away, all staff's gotten is a class action lawsuit. good job, hellsite "moderators." you showed your whole ass and you're going to go to court. again.
#im BITTER#im keeping my blog mostly free of it but you KNOW ive seen it and its just beyond a joke at this point how staff has acted.#and you know? theyre only banning the out trans women. ive seen that. the ones who arent out as trans women are untouched.
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pour one out for kevin day, queen of exy, for fumbling both jeremy knox AND jean moreau. personally i would never recover
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FNAF puppet and Michael Afton got beef,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#michael afton#mike schmidt#the marionette#the puppet#charlie emily#fnaf#fnaf 2#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#I don’t think the puppet likes Michael much pff#doesn’t hate him just knows what he did#I like how the puppet is seemingly more aware than most haunted animatronics#so it makes sense to me they’d talk so forwardly to the others#she’s mostly just joking and teasing here#I also think about how violent they were as lefty#so this blunt attitude + hostility in the games towards Michael#just adds to this personality#PUPPET MENTIONED 🔥🔥#we love the puppet
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one tab open on the terror (2018), the other tab open on “schools with polar studies degree”
#just kidding i already know which colleges have polar study degrees#the terror#podium#this is a joke. mostly. i wanted to go to the arctic before i watched the terror
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If Monsters and Girls ever gets a tv show my only request is that it doesn’t become that kind of show where a male character with a small role somehow overshadows the female cast.
And you WILL draw Yuri
#txt#obviously I want people to like characters regardless of gender#but if you’re incapable of empathizing with female characters I will throw rocks at your window#also joking aside. knowing that it makes people mad that that other demon show has mostly queer characters#it'll be really funny seeing people slowly realize that 90% of these girls are lesbians#and there's nothing they can do about it#who do you guys think will be the tumblr sexyman. i expect it to be florian (havent introduced him yet)#but ideally it should be powers. honorary sexyman
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people seriously pretending EEAAO is overrated suddenly bc it swept awards? it swept awards largely because it is very very very good. I cried like someone who's just had a religious revelation BOTH times I watched it bc it touched something raw and real and beautiful but it was also just very, very funny. everyone's performance kills and the concept is creative and interesting and doesn't distract from the emotional core. you guys are just contrarian.
#red said#also there are posts and tweets like THIS IS JUST FOR MCU FANS#like please go on demonstrating how you've adopted 'mcu fan' as a shorthand for 'person who likes films i don't'#or 'person who likes films that are popular'#because the defining features of mcu films are that they're high budget irony poisoned derivative works#targeted at a broad audience so aiming to be accessible and inoffensive#and it really seems. like 'accessible' is the part of that you object to#bc EEAAO is a highly original A24 indie film with a 14.5m budget which is NOTHING#it's made mostly with practical effects and sets#and most importantly it's beautifully painfully earnest. it's never trying to shy away or go Hey Look How Silly This Is 😏#everything is driven by its earnest desire to talk about specific themes#i think the people comparing it negatively to mcu films are stuck on the fact that it's about a multiverse and it's got jokes#and colourful action scenes#but they miss that the referential jokes (like racacoonie) and setpieces aren't the point of the film
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So I was doing some math, and I THINK Skully is almost as tall as Malleus without his horns
I think the main reference to his height is Epel being surprised they're the same age because he's taller than Sebek, yes? which I find interesting, considering Jade and Malleus -- two of the tallest guys in the main cast -- are also there. and, since I've never been one to not think waaaay too much about the absolute stupidest minutiae about fictional characters, I see two possibilities:
one is that Epel is extremely good at eyeballing heights (I actually do feel like he could be? like. I'd believe he can estimate someone's height fairly accurately by calculating based on the life stages of an apple tree, or how many apples tall they are, or something else apple-related like that.) and Scully does, perhaps, fall into that narrow margin between Sebek and Jade in height.
OR two, out of the three certified Tall Guys there, Sebek is Epel's main frame of reference because he's the only one he's had any real interaction with for, let's be fair, pretty obvious reasons.
SO in conclusion, we still have no concrete answers and will probably have to wait until next year when we get his card profile, alas alas. 😔
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#disclaimer that this is mostly a joke and i am aware that i'm putting way more thought into this than was intended#(just like how i've thought WAY too much about where this event takes place chronologically based on a single throwaway line)#(the chronology is complex but there are more pressing discussions for now)#honestly i would love it if scully was like 6'7" and just towered over everybody#except malleus' horns#that's why he has to wear the glasses!#he needs eye protection just in case malleus turns around too quickly or something#geeze and he's only 16...he hasn't even reached his final form yet#do they have the courage to make him just a big ol' baguette of a man#or are they going to be all consistent about average heights or whatever >:(#we're gonna get his profile next year and find out he's like 188.5cm#(rip my vague hopes that fellow would surprise us by being a short king)#(look gidel is VERY small. there was a CHANCE)
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Me after finishing Harrow the Ninth
#can't wait to start Nona I'm sure everything will make sense then 😀#this is a joke#mostly#sometimes those unreliable narrators do me narrating unreliably#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#tamsyn muir
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