#most of which couldnt care less about wrestling but still

[meraus]

PENTA EL ZERO MIEDO | AEW Dynamite 17/01/24

[sinnergetreadymp3]

CHAMERON FIC CHAMERON FIC CHAMERON FIC

Uhhhhh I feel like I should give this a title but I have no idea what to call so uh, nevermind !!

Anyways,I finally finished the fic I said I was writing like,a month ago lol. All my Chameron stans out there this one's for u,I rlly hope at least one person enjoys this,I rlly enjoyed writing it !! Ok sappy stuff outta the way,here it is:

As rain pounded against the window Charlie sent what was probably the thousandth crumpled ball of paper across the room.

"Jesus Charlie,is your arm not getting tired?"

Charlie smirked at that, clearly preparing to make a dirty minded joke,but a thoroughly exhausted Richard Cameron was already one step ahead.

"You know what,forget I asked, you're gross."

Getting up from the seat at his desk and ignoring an indignant retort from Charlie, Cameron thought of the rest of his friends,out for the weekend. Todd and Neil celebrating their one year anniversary, Meeks and Pitts embarking on a two day road trip,for what they still claimed to be, entirely platonic reasons (although the rest of the poets were all too aware of the almost palpable romantic tension between them). Even Knox had found something to do with himself on this miserable Friday night.

And here Cameron was,stuck in his dorm with nothing but stacks of extra homework and his obnoxious roommate to keep him company.

Speaking of that obnoxious roommate, "Oh come on Cam,you're not seriously going to bed already,it's barely eight!"

"Shut up Dalton,I'm tired."

Refusing to admit defeat, Charlie sprung from his own bed into Cameron's, attempting to wrestle the poor boy from his comfortable position.

"Charlie,get off you psycho!" Cameron managed to get out, already laughter threatening to give away just how welcome his friend's childish antics were.

After a few more minutes of "fooling around" as Charlie insisted on calling it (mostly because of how profusely it made Cameron blush),the two boys lay breathless beside each other,trying desperately to think of something else to do that would ward off impending boredom.

After a few moments of comfortable silence,Charlie suggested,looking expectantly towards the ginger, "Wanna go to the cave?"

With extreme,mind numbing boredom as motivation, it was inevitable that Cameron would say yes. It certainly helped that Charlie was gazing at him with those oh-so convincing doe eyes of his. Charlie Dalton and his stupid,gorgeous eyes. And his stupid,gorgeous smile,which Cameron was abso definitely not thinking about as he got up and grabbed his coat.

The two boys trudged through the woods,bickering lightly when Cameron complained of the cold that Charlie apparently couldnt feel at all,but always with an unusually friendly air between them. Before long they were sat together in the middle of the cave,sharing an apple that Cameron had managed to salvage from somewhere (a feat Dalton was of course impressed by),and trading stories of girls and parties galore. In Cameron's case, the stories of girls were few and the parties were from years long before even middle school,so Charlie did most of the talking.

After a while though,the boys came to discussing their friends,and the luck they all seemed to have in finding each other so easily. Charlie, ever the romantic,made no waste of his extensive vocabulary,tediously lamenting on all the opportunities of love he had missed and the everlasting loneliness he was doomed to,all because his dashing knight in shining armour would never come to find him and-

"Why dont *you* just find somebody?"

Charlie,still sprawled dramatically over a rock ,and mildly offended at the interruption,indignantly questioned "What do you mean?"

"What I said? You dont just have to wait around for somebody to come find you and fall madly in love. Why don't *you* just find somebody?"

He thought for a moment,taken aback by the ginger's harsh words,but eventually decided to humout him for a moment.

"And where exactly do you suggest I find him then, hm?"

Cameron shifted in his seat,not expecting to be taken seriously and certainly not prepared to be giving advice. Especially not *this* kind of advice. Especially not to *charlie*.

"Well,uh," he looked up to see the other boy looking at him expectantly,with that ever-present smirk on his face that, oddly enough,made Cameron feel a little more comfortable.

"Maybe,you could,I don't know, consider that the guy you're looking for has been here the whole time?"

"Wow Cam,Pittsie and Meeks' radio must've really gotten to you. All those love songs have turned you into a big softie." Charlie joked,grinning and nudging Cameron playfully.

Through a soft laugh,Cameron continued, "No I'm serious man,I think you're making this whole love thing way harder for yourself. I mean- and be honest with me, what's actually wrong with the guys at our school?"

"Other than the fact that about three quarters of them are raging heterosexuals?"

Laughing again,Cameron replied "yeah,other than that."

After about zero seconds of careful consideration,he had come to a conclusion, "Well,I guess nothing,but I dont know? Cameron, I don't see how this changes-"

"It *changes* things because clearly you don't anything about half the guys at our school. And you can't write off people you don't even know." At some point, Cameron had gotten up and started pacing around,but with the end of this triumphant speech,he finally sat down,a little closer to the other boy than he had been before.

Charlie looked across at Cameron and was suddenly met with a wave of fondness. Weird,how all it took was to sit and talk for a while before someone you thought you near hated,started to feel like your favorite person in the world. And,was he going completely crazy or Cameron at his most comfortable, without the fear of a teacher lurking nearby,without the stress of constantly trying to prove himself,was he... A little..... attractive??

All at once,Charlie made a decision,partly to try and prove himself wrong,but also because hey,if Richard Cameron was the surprise love of his life,what better time to figure it out than right now?

"So how,sir Richard Cameron,do you propose I get to know all these charming suitors?"

Cameron, completely in the dark about Dalton's recent epiphany,was still stubbornly trying to explain how much easier Charlie's love life could be,if only he would let it.

"Well,maybe by actually talking to them? Y'know,kind of like,What we're doing right now."

"So,what you're saying is,*you* could be my knight in shining armor," he said with a smirk.

"Well,that's not what-"

"No,no it's fine,as long as we're talking about this version of you. Regular Cameron is kind of a buzzkill but Cave Cam is actually a kind of.... And I can't believe I'm saying this but,in here,like this...well. You're actually a little hot."

After this, overwhelmingly romantic confession, Charlie was certain he had completely stuffed it,and sure enough,

"Gee Charlie,thanks. Really makes me wanna ride into the sunset with you." To say Cam's ego had been hit was an understatement,but before he could make a swift exit from the cave and lock himself,alone,in his dorm for the rest of the weekend,of course Dalton kept talking.

"God,I'm sorry,that was, I have no idea why I said that. I thought I was being funny but out loud- god I'm so sorry," while he had initially been mad,seeing Charlie fucking Dalton blush (and because of *him* no less) was rather funny. And sure,a little cute. So Cameron decided to hear him out.

"Can I start over? You're not saying anything so I'm gonna start over. I,uh, I really do think you're hot. Like really hot. And not just right now,all the time,like that time we were at rowing practice and I started pushing you around and we ended up on the floor and I saw like,a single sliver of skin because your sweater had ridden up,and I couldn't stop thinking about it all day,which I thought was a little weird but then-"

"Uh,I think I get it,Charlie." Now Cameron was the one blushing.

"Uh,sorry. What I meant was,that I *do* think you're hot l-"

"As you've said"

"Yeah,yeah,but it's more than that. Like,when I realized we'd basically be spending the whole weekend alone together,I was actually sorta excited for that,even though I knew I'd just be sitting by you while you did homework the whole time,I like,wanted to do that. And tonight,I haven't talked like this with anyone who isn't Neil like,ever. What I mean is,I guess,is that,I think that uh,"

Deciding to lighten the mood,Cameron tried for a little sarcasm, "Wow,Dalton, stuttering? I must be superman or something."

"I'm trying to be romantic here Carrot top," Charlie said with a grin,

"Listen,I don't really know what I'm doing here,but I think it might be kinda nice if we tried having a little romantic weekend of our own. Just to try it. If it totally sucks we can pretend it never happened and the others don't have to know about it and-"

"Charlie."

"Yeah?"

"Relax," Cameron said with yet another laugh ,he didn't think he laughed like this since... Well,he couldn't even remember.

So with a radiant smile on his face,he said,"A romantic weekend of our own sounds amazing. Gotta warn you tho I'm not a great kisser."

"Well, lucky for you I am a great teacher," Charlie replied,with a somehow even bigger smile on his face than Cameron's,

"Why are you laughing,I *am* a great teacher!" Unfortunately for Charlie,his indignance only made Cameron laugh harder.

"I'll believe that when I see it."

"If you shut up and stop laughing,maybe you'll get to." After this was all it took to get the ginger to sober up, the look on his face pushed Charlie to make his final,but (in his opinion) most important decision of the night.It was high time he flirt with Cameron way more often (which was *very* difficult to explain to the other poets,at least the first time).

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Charmed 2x12 Review SPOILERS!!!!!!

Okay let's do this. Sorry I skipped one but times are hectic. For entertainment I give it an 8/10. Same format. Dislikes, likes and highlights

Dislikes

1. Macy Kneeling to Abby.

Let's just get this one out the way. I can see where they might have been going with this.

They maybe are trying to move away from the ambiguous route with abby (trying to make her sympathetic with her whole patriarchy thing and her dead mom) I mean she is progressively becoming more predatory with Harry so with that in mind, this was possibly one of the "abby is really a bad person not a feminist as she is only out for her own gain and not the empowerment of all women". And I can get that maybe they were also trying to show "look Macy is willing to do the most degrading thing possible just for the chance at rebuilding that power of three/charmed bond with her sisters for the protection of the magical community".

But listen.....

We all know Abigael isnt a star feminist. We already know (although we dont exactly know) that she has some sort of plan up her sleeve to be weary of.

There has been too much attempted ambiguity and the main characters letting her get away with terrible things that the message isnt coming across.

Plus Maybe yes showing Macy being willing to do something that really probably hurt all of us (epecially those of us who are minorities) to watch, may have been to drive home the differences between her and Macy and play up Macy's love for her sisters

But like we know Macy and Abby arent similar (as much as you writers tried to play that up at first). And you know just adding more sister bonding moment and just the fact that Macy was willing to go to abby after all the previous stuff was enough to show she was desperate? Maybe just add more sister bonding moments so we can see how dedicated they are to each other?

Maybe? Just saying.

If the writers are finally going to commit to Abby being a full on villian then I guess the seen was worth cementing that she is horrible (sort of).

Here's my question though as I consider whether the scene was worth it. Who is this show for and what is it trying to show? I mean if it is for minorities and women then i can see how showing these historical and current issues (conflict of power and consideration among women where race is concerned) then I guess showing it and having that controversy makes sense. But like we live it.

As minorities we already know. I know I struggle between wanting my experience shown and also wanting to watch something where for once the minority characters arent subjected to that experience. Charmed did better at addressing controversy and women's issues in season 1. I dont care if it was "obvious" or "heavy handed" because when it is not you basically get the kneeling scene where you dont know what the point was, if it was necessary, and are left feeling hurt or bitter about it.

2. Hacy Kiss.

Listen Brenda/on, this is on my like and dislike list. I will mention what I dislike about it.

The first thing is that it was a fantasy. I mean yes I like that we get full on confirmation that Macy has romantic feelings for Harry and not just considering that she might have them, but I honestly hate the fact that they would tease us like that. Especially when Macy is at a low moment. Which I will get into.

They are kinda ruining Macy for me. Listen, at this point they havent given us enough insight into Macys feelings or thoughts to understand why she isnt pursuing Harry. We can speculate and infer based on previous seasons and some of what the writers or showrunners say on twitter, but this season itself hasnt done much in showing Macy's thought process and so it falls flat. It isnt her reluctance to let people in or not wanting to get involved with someone after Galvin since she does pursue Julian and gets serious relatively quickly. She, at least now we it is confirmed, has those feelings for Harry, but is still choosing to be with someone else inspite of those feelings. I hate that. Harry is obviously tempted by abby and is being naive with her, but he isnt pursuing her and has blocked her advances (except the kiss) so far which may change who knows, but the point is if Macy was just casually dating and enjoying Julian's company I would be like okay, still hate that she would lead someone on when she has feeling for someone else, but if its casual there is less of a chance of the other person being hurt.

I cant get behind Julian x Macy, not because of Julian (who so far is perfect and probably going to be a villian or some how connected to the villians because it is a common trope) but because of Macy. Julian x Macy isnt Healthy because Macy knows she has feelings for someone else. She is using him. That isnt to say she doesnt genuinely like or care about him, but at the end of the day she is using him. Which is crappy because Julian so far seems like a great guy and doesnt deserve being the "distraction". I mentioned this all the time but my least favorite love triangles are the ones where one person is using the other.

Healthy would be Macy and Julian being friends while she works through her feelings and then decides who she wants to be with. Not being with someone while having feelings for someone else.

Macy was shown in season 1 to be rational and could be rational to the point of compartmentalizing and coming off as cold. So maybe that is where they are drawing from, but again little effort has been made on the part of the writers to show what's going on in her brain other than that fantasy kiss. And again I am still like....okay so what does that mean in the long run you butts!!!

3. Helen's suicude

I am so iffy about how shows portray people completing suicide. Like on one hand I get that them showing her exercising free will, but suicide portrayed as a positive rather than a tragedy is just....ugh for me. I still am not sure how I feel overall about it.

Lore wise I hate that they use it to explain why Harry and jimmy couldnt kill each other, because in an interview rupert claimed Harry was immortal now because of the elder thing and the show said it in that first episode. So like are both true? So if harry tries to stab himself like Helen will he just end up back in the coffin and alive since she is immortal?

I mean we are 12 episodes in and have about 10 to go so we really should be working towards a cohesive lore and storyline not adding confusing or not well explained layers. The world building they did in the first half was a lot better which makes me wonder what they heck is going on in the writing room.

Likes

1. Parkerita

Let me explain. While I fancy Jordan x Maggie together. I'd prefer that be a slow burn and steady friendship first. Parker seems to be Maggie's first love. It makes sense that she is still grieving and holding on. While I kind of wanted to be done with Parkerita in fairness to all the season 1 romances that where tossed out, I like the nod to Phole. I felt the OG Phole relationship was not healthy, but I liked the tradgedy of it. I think if new Charmed wants to wrestle with that and do it better (although my faith in the writers is low right now) then I wouldnt be against it. I love a good tradgedy and I sat through Phole so I'll sit through this one.

2.Hacy kiss

I love that the writers finally did something to show us what is going on in Macys brain. I need more (not necessarily Harry fantasies but I wont complain if we get more of those). I do hope a real Hacy kiss is a bit different because one one hand the fact Macy wanted to kiss harry when she was feeling down says something to me about how she feels about him and that she still trusts him (but it could, If I wanted to be cynical, just be more evidence that Macy skews towards using people when she is repressing or feeling down although she didnt actually kiss him, if she had I think I would have not liked it in that particular moment given it would have felt more like using him that expressing feelings)

Highlights

1. Abby really thinks no means maybe 😒 . . .

2. Mel is a lesbian magnet and I'd be fine with her just casually dating while all this other crap is going on as long as she is happy

2. Helen

3. These horror movie vibes though!!

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

Sole Ender AU Its the Little Things

It's the little things that made Ryan feel safe with the Fakes. Like how Gavin and Michael always walk on his right side, never his left, so he can always see them. It's how Geoff makes sure that any Heists outdoors are occurring when it doesnt rain. It's how Jack always has an extra umbrella or Eye Patch for him. How Jeremy and Lindsay make sure to never make direct eye contact. Jeremy looks at his mouth, Lindsay watches anywhere and everywhere else.

Those little things always made Ryan feel welcome. Even after they found out about the experiments, the Lab, the Eye. But still, something felt missing, Ryan could never put his finger on it. But he felt, lost still. He didnt realize the Emptiness was caused by something so simple until one night while playing Trivial Pursuit.

"Authors last names? Fuck that! Every last bastard whose ever written a book has a weird ass last name! They could be Hilda Sasquatch or some shit!" Jeremy shouted. Jack laughed and Gavin snorted.

"Jeremy, you wrote a book." Michael reminded him.

"Well Dooley is a funny last name!" Gavin pointed out as Jeremy growled and slapped the Brit on the back of his head.

"Yeah, like Free is any better!" Jack was losing it in the background as the Lads began to bicker and wrestle. Ryan's nose scrunched as his chest tightened and the empty feeling began again.

"What's with the face Rye?" Geoff asked breaking Ryan's stare. His left eye was covered with a glittering purple and blue eye patch Gavin had made out of his Sparkles. It was a fine gift, one that Ryan treasured.

"Its, it's nothing really." Ryan insisted a bit hesitantly. Geoff shook his head.

"Suuuuuurrrre, it's really nothing." Geoff drawled sarcastically. Ryan rolled his eye.

"Your like a security camera." Ryan muttered. "You keep digging and digging."

"Yeah that's not weird at all." Geoff sighed. "But fine, I'll stop. Just remember you Can talk to us."

"I... I know Geoff." Ryan muttered as the fight before them settled. "Just. Not now?"

Geoff nodded and they all turned back to the game. Ryan hoped that he could bury that empty feeling and never touch it again.

It was just a Last Name after all.

Turns out Ryan couldnt avoid the feeling for long. It was another game night a few weeks later. Jack and Geoff were out with Gavin, so Michael, Jeremy and Lindsay insisted Ryan joined them for Mario Party.

"Right so what's got you so fucked?" Michael asked never looking away from the mini game on the screen.

"Oh elegantly put Jones." Jeremy teased. Michael knocked into Jeremy who went tumbling away and Ryan felt the hole in his chest open again.

"I dont know what you mean." Ryan said as Lindsay pressed into him.

"Bullshit you keep wincing at random! Your eye bugging you?" Lindsay asked this time. Ryan shook his head, he felt stupid he just wanted these people to stop caring so much!

"We arent going to stop caring dipshit that isnt how this works." Jeremy said. Great, Ryan thought, he said that out loud.

"Yeah! We're a crew and shit we ain't gonna not care! Somethings bugging you and we want to help!" Lindsay declared throwing her arms around Ryan and pulling him into a hug.

Ryan tensed then mumbled.

"Sorry what was that?" Michael smirked. "Cant hear you through Lindsay dude."

"I dont have a fucking last name alright? It's a small stupid thing but it drives me nuts! I feel even less human!" Ryan shouted, pushing away from Lindsay. Michael and Lindsay began to laugh.

"Dude chill. It's just a name it doesnt mean shit!" Michael wheezed.

"Yeah dude. No need to get your panties in a twist over it." Lindsay added. Ryan growled and silently rose to his feet.

"Ryan?" Jeremy started but with a Vwoop, Ryan teleported away leaving the three others behind. In a cloud of dull sparkles.

Ryan could teleport pretty far. The farthest he ever went in one go was 20 miles. But now he didnt want to go far, just hide. And what better place to hide than one of the safe houses?

It was a small apartment closer to the suburbs of Los Santos, it was nice, if small. It was usually reserved for when someone was on a solo mission and needed to lie low, which meant that Ryan was there most. So he got to decorate.

Back at the Labs he never got to make any space his own. Everything was sterile and empty. He hated to remember the open space and clean white walls and the smell of bleach and chemicals.

Which was why this space was filled with stuff. Sure it was tidy, nothing was rotten or moldy, but Ryan used every space available. If the floor didnt have a rug there was a table or chair. If the tables didn't have Flowers, TVs, knickknacks or something on it there was usually a cup of Diet Coke. It was filled to the brim with bright plants, paintings, photos you name it.

Ryan plopped down on the couch feeling stupid. Why was he so hung up on a name? He had given himself the name Ryan sure, why not a last name?

Ryan knew why, and as that thought rose up he pushed it away. He didnt want any memories of the Labs in his head right now. Now he wanted to just sleep, he wanted to feel less... less stupid and childish.

So Ryan went off to the bedroom and buried himself deep under the covers, like he used to, and blocked out the rest of the world.

Ryan was 13 again and he sat on his cot, swinging his legs absently.

"Why dont I get one?" He heard himself ask. "Why am I only a number?"

"Names are given by family to people. You have no family and you are no longer human. You are far better than that." One of the blurred figures said. The second scoffed.

"Better? It cant even run the most basic excersise without failing ten times. Its isnt anything but a waste." Ryan couldnhear the sneer in the figure's voice as pain shot through every nerve on his body. "Failure doesnt get you a name of any kind. You are a tool, and a broken one at that. Dont forget that."

Ryan woke up with a start. Turning to the clock Ryan cursed. 3 am. He wasnt going back to sleep. Again.

Getting to his feet Ryan didnt bother to change into fresh clothes. He had slept in his jeans why not just use them again? But he grabbed a jacket and went out into the night.

Mount Chilliad loomed in the distance as Ryan walked the dark streets of Los Santos. He could have teleported where he wanted to go, or even driven. But he didnt want to. Walking felt better, it gave agency, he decided where his feet went, no one else.

"Oh Thank Fuck! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Ryan jumped, ready to fight and run from the handlers. When recognition snapped his mind from bad memories.

Standing before him was Jeremy, holding a tiny wiggling bundle of fur. A cat from what Ryan could tell. Jeremy smiled nervously, but relief was evident in the smaller man's eyes.

"Look, uh. Fuck I suck at this shit. Let's go inside yeah? We are near a place I own. Come on." Jeremy ushered Ryan towards a nearby apartment building. Ryan followed wordlessly, but obediently. At the door Jeremy hopped around a little.

"Keys, keys. Uh Hey Rye mind.holding him for a sec?" Jeremy then thrust the cat into Ryan's hands who finally got a good look at the little fur ball.

They were a tiny black kitten, fuzzy and wiggling furiously. What stood out the most was that it was missing a front leg.

The door clicked as.Ryan made eye contact with the little kitten. His chest tightened and his mind whirled as he looked into the kittens little eyes. Then it looked at Ryan's jacket and started burrowing into one of the interior pockets. Ryan felt a purr resonating out of the tiny cat from in his jacket and through his ribs. His chest began to unclench and suddenly he was.aware he was inside a studio apartment.

There were art supplies everywhere. Everything from Yarn and Knitting needles, to paints and canvases to wood sculptures, and musical instruments were strewn about. Jeremy hopped around the room over to a ragged old bed, kicking off his shoes as he went.

"Well, make yourself at home. Dont mind the mess things just get thrown around alot." Jeremy said sheepishly. Ryan picked his way through the room, his eye moving around and soaking up all the little pieces. The space felt lived in not just visited like the safe houses.

"Is this a safe house?" Ryan asked as he sat down on the bed. Jeremy shook his head.

"Nah. It's my apartment. Before I joined the Fakes I lived here. Still try to come back, sometimes you just need your own place you know?" Jeremy explained. There was a tense silence for a few minutes then Jeremy spoke.

"Michael and Lindsay were being a bitch." Ryan tensed ready to run. "No please just, hear me out?"

Ryan froze, suddenly aware he had gotten up to leave. Jeremy had his arm, and the Kitten purred even louder than before. Ryan sank back onto the bed.

"Look. I dont know what your life was like before you joined us but it obviously wasnt even a little bit good. Actually it sounds like it was fucking awful." Ryan laughed dryly.

"That's putting it lightly."

"Yeah no shit. But it's not stupid to feel shit." A pause. " If not having a Last name bugs you why dont you give yourself one?"

"Its not..."

"Not that simple yeah?" Jeremy finished Ryan nodded as the kitten crawled out on Ryan's lap.

"Alright, well. Do you think you can tell me why?" Jeremy asked. Ryan thought, eye down on the kitten as the little guy curled up on his lap without a care.

"Its not the same. It belongs to a family. I cant be a family of one." Ryan insisted and Jeremy shook his head.

"Ok two things. One. Thats a load of horseshit and who ever told you that was dumb as fuck. And two. There is more to it isnt there?" Ryan stayed silent. Running his fingers through the Kitten's fur. Jeremy began to whisper. "You're human, Rye. Just cause someone says you arent doesnt make it true. I know that one."

Ryan froze he didnt expect anyone to pick up on that. The whole Not human but was always somewhere in the back of his mind, eating at him. Jeremy wrapped himself around Ryan hugging him tightly. Ryan shook as he melted into the other man's touch, a few tears spilling out.

"You know. My family abandoned me when I was a teenager. Said I was a monster just cause I kissed both guys and girls. Not exactly dubious experiments but it is dehumanizing all the same. I kept my last name though. I did it as a big old fuck you to them. They died during one of the Fake's heists. Got to watch then burn myself. But the name never connected me to them, a name connects you to who ever you want it to." Jeremy was quiet as he spoke, his voice against Ryan's skin as he pressed into Ryan's neck.

Something was bubbling in his brain, but Ryan had no idea what it was. And right now was not the time to figure that out.

A small Meow pulled the two away from one another. The little kitten was trying to climb up Ryan's jacket between the two. As it scrambled up Jeremy laughed, and Ryan felt a chuckle escape his throat. The kitten then flung itself over Ryan's shoulder, it's one front paw kneading his shoulder blade and purring up a storm.

"I forgot this little guy was here." Jeremy said through a laugh. A pause, then Jeremy smiled softly. "Ya know, I was going to take him to the shelter. Geoff won't let me keep any animals. But I think you should take him."

"You just said-" Ryan began but Jeremy shook his head.

"I'm not allowed any animals. Geoff never said anything about you keeping a pet. And hey! Now you have another family member! You can give him a first name and a Last name of your choice!" Jeremy beamed at Ryan who smiled a little.

The sun rose as the Battle Buddies walked into the penthouse. The morning news was filling the living room, telling the story of several Petstores that had been robbed of supplies in the night.

"And what a coincidence, you both have Pet stuff." Geoff hissed as he sucked back more.coffee.

"Yeah well, Ryan's got a cat now so you gotta have toys and a litterbox to you know?" Jeremy said as he dropped a giant bag of cat food next to the kitchen Island.

"I thought I said no pets!" Geoff shouted, his voice cracking.

"Yeah but only for Jeremy." Ryan pointed out. "Abd Finnieas isnt a pet. He's family."

Geoff paused, Ryan knew the gears were turning. Geoff groaned.

"Ugh! Fine! You can keep the damn cat!" Geoff hissed. "And Finnieas? The hell kind of name is that?"

"Ih his full name is Finnieas Gavallo Haywood thank you." Ryan insisted with an air of dramatics. Jeremy giggled and kept in front of Ryan who held the kitten before him.

"A poud name Haywood! Ancient and divine! Dating all the way back to 4 hours ago!" Jeremy exclaimed. Geoff laughed.

"Alright you dolts get a move on. I'm going to text Jack and let them know you two caused the morning rukus." Geoff said. Jeremy took off down towards Ryan's room, a bag of cat toys in hand. As Ryan went to follow, Geoff got up off the couch. He placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder and gave a lop sided smile.

"Haywood's a good name. You know. I picked Ramsey myself when I built this crew. Jack took Patillo at that time to." Geoff then walked away, pulling out his cellphone and typing.

Finnieas purred as Ryan took in the unspoken message.

A name may seem like a Little Thing, but it holds importance all the same. And sometimes you need to give yourself those Little Things to heal.

[only-negativity]

I'm okay.

Alrighty. Update on my relationship status matter. To sum it up, I feel perfectly fine now. And instead of getting all upset when that guy that liked my best friend while we were dating tries to talk to me, I act civil, even though I deeply want to shank him. Then if he says something stupid, I block him. Simple. I've gotten to the point where I've completely gotten over the sadness he's caused me for the past half a year (including the time we were together). But I'll explain the whole situation that I went through. I'm not complaining or saying it because I want to sound like an attention whore. I just want to make what happened clear as a crystal.

So, we started dating last year. And he, (my most recent ex) made it seem like he was obsessed with me. Tricked me into falling for him. He was my friend for about a month or two and I somewhat trusted him. The first time we met, I was dating my first boyfriend, and we were in a group chat with everyone in our friend group. He was asking about my best friend. And he asked me, "are you her sister?" And, we (my best friend and I) tell everyone that we're sister's because it's annoying when people ask.

Anyway. I didn't know him at the time and assumed that he was a friend of someone's in the group chat because he was really charismatic, and accepted his friend request on Instagram (At the time I didn't like him because I didn't know him, so I accepted it because he was a friend of a friend).

After that, he was bothering me left and right. Asking for my Snapchat because he, "doesn't use Instagram a lot". I said no, because that would be too much, and my boyfriend at the time had a problem with his girlfriend's cheating on him. So I kept denying every time. Until I was so annoyed that I gave him it. Stupid. Fucking. Decision. Next thing I knew, he kept asking to video call. I didn't want to video chat with him because of how my boyfriend felt. I genuinely respected his feelings, and I didn't want him to get upset about it. He would call without asking, and it kind of annoyed me, but I thought that if I accepted it he would leave me alone. Nope.

One call lead to another and my boyfriend didn't like it. He started assuming that I had feelings for this guy, but I honestly didn't. My boyfriend got more and more distant, and I tried my hardest to make him feel better about what's been going on, because, I cared about him. I didn't care about how ridiculous this was. He would ask the guy if I was cheating on him, but he would say no. I got kind of annoyed by how my boyfriend was acting, so I distanced myself as well. Emotionally. Not physically. He would get butthurt if I did that.

He had wrestling practice everyday, so I used that opportunity to hang out with my friends at the park. The guy (most recent ex that my boyfriend thought I was cheating with) was there too most of the time. That made things a WHOLE lot worse in my situation. I didn't talk to him in person, but he would always bother me. Eventually, I started to become friends with the guy, but I didn't have feelings for him. And my boyfriend didn't like it at all. We talked about it, and I explained that nothing was going on. I was being completely honest.

Anyway. One day the guy said that he was going to do a flip off of a tall thing at the park, so I said "no. Don't. You'll get hurt." And my boyfriend took it the wrong way. He started walking away and actually started to cry. I genuinely felt bad for him because I made him cry just by saying a few words to the wrong person. But then again, I was getting angry because we talked about this and he still thinks that I'm cheating on him.

I walked him back to the school because he needed to go to wrestling practice. I remembered that I left my drink and chips at the park so I went back after I dropped him off. The guy kept telling me to break up with him because I felt like a horrible person while I was with him (boyfriend).

I left after that.

A few weeks pass and I've been feeling more and more horrible about myself because I haven't done anything, yet my boyfriend was pushing the "are you cheating on me?" Question on me every single day and he was freaking out by me just talking to my guy friends. That I knew before I met him. He asked the guy if I was cheating on him once again and he said yes(I assume out of annoyance). But I wasn't. And my boyfriend started breaking down and crying because he got "confirmation" that I was "cheating" on him when I WASN'T. LITERALLY ALL I DO IS TALK TO MY FRIENDS. THAT'S. IT.

We broke up a few weeks later, and he started flirting with other girls in less than a week. I felt horrible because that fucker told my boyfriend that I was cheating on him and expected me to be okay with it. He quite literally ruined my relationship and acted as if nothing happened.

To make things worse, my (now ex) boyfriend starts to date one of my closest friends that are girls.

A month has passed and I feel better ( a little). And I forgave the guy for telling my (ex) boyfriend that I was cheating. At this point, he dated at least 6 girls, so I told people that I "never really loved him" (which was a lie). I know. Fucked up. But, he never really loved me either, because he got over our relationship in 6 days.

The guy gave me a lot of attention, and I started to gain feelings for him. Soon enough, he got his friends to tell me that he likes me. I waited for him to ask if I'd be his girlfriend. That didn't happen. He got onto Snapchat and said "i like u a lot will u be mine?" Which I though was really cute at the time and really alluring. So I said yes.

He would subtly ask me who my best friend liked, so I said that she liked his brother. (Which was a lie because who tf would tell their boyfriend of not even a week who their best friend likes?) And he had this disappointed look in his eye. Very small, but still there. As if he was trying to hide how he felt. "Really?" He asked. "Why are you so concerned about it?" I looked at him a little annoyed. He looked away and changed the subject.

He would glance at her. Every few minutes. I barely noticed it but I knew that he did. I didn't think much of it, because I trusted him. But a few weeks into the relationship, he would do it more frequently. He wouldn't talk to her, but he would look at her a lot. He was always in a good mood (which I assumed because I was his "first girlfriend").

I was in good mental health at the time. The weights of my last boyfriend's mental issues and horrible anxiety problems have been long since been lifted. I was... Genuinely happy. A boyfriend who would pay a lot of attention to me, friends that would be nice enough to be by my side all the time. That period of time was amazing.

Then, my best friend got into a love triangle with my first boyfriend and a junior that I was friends with. I automatically got into a mood for a bit because my best friend was dating my first ex boyfriend. Who does that?

Anyway. I wasn't the only one in a mood. My best friends relationship worked out for a couple of months. I got over the fact that she was with my ex, though it was still awkward when I talked to her. BUT, my boyfriend at the time was always sour.

He started to take his anger out on me, by telling me that I'm not acting how he wants me to. That he "just wants someone to hold him and not act like an anime girl every two seconds". What the fuck kind of an insult was that? I act like an anime girl? All I do is smile when he hugs me and talk a lot to him because I adored him.

This happened a lot, And soon I felt horrible again. I couldn't even talk back to him anymore. All I could say was "sorry" when he yelled at me. I felt useless for nothing. For doing nothing. For being myself. I was scared to break up with him because I've seen him hit one of my guy friends for sticking up for himself when my (at the time) boyfriend said something rude about his mom.

He broke my friends tooth.

It was almost every night that he would tell me how much he hates me. One day, when my cousin came home from the army, my (at the time) boyfriend posted something on his story. Explaining his "crush". This struck me as odd, because he explained things that didn't happen between us. He wrote such sweet things about them and at the end, it said "send a ♥️ to get someone to describe"

But before I could send one, I got a text from him. I sent it really fast and then saw what he said. He sent me his story and said "do you want me to do you?" I got confused. And told him how I thought that it WAS about me. He said "oh yeah it was, my bad😂" I could tell that he was lying. He only sends that emoji when he lies.

At that moment I had a strong feeling that he was cheating on me, but I didn't bring it up. I was too scared to.

About two weeks later, I went to his house for the first time to go swimming with my friends, but I couldnt. I was expirencing girl problems.. It was hot outside, and I wanted to stay in his house for a bit because it was nice and cold in there. We decided to stay while my friends went to the pool. Not only was I having those problems, but I was cramping too. So I kind of wanted to cuddle on the couch to hopefully take my pain away.

That's not how he saw it.

He started to get really handsy and was kissing me a lot. At this point I was getting really uncomfortable. He pulled my shirt up along with my bra but I kept telling him to stop. I even tried to get away from him and tell him how uncomfortable I was with my body, but he wouldn't listen. I knew I couldn't do anything so I sat there trying to hold back tears. I was hopeless because he easily overpowered me when I tried to get away.

He wasn't satisfied with what he saw but pretended like he was. I understood what he felt, but I kept trying to make him stop.

During this whole thing I was scared. Once he was done doing what he was doing, he threw my cardigan at me (i took it off when I first came in with all of my friends) and told me that we're going to the pool. He went outside and I was trying to pull my thoughts together. To hold back all of the tears that were about to fall out of my eyes. I put my cardigan back on and went outside. We didn't talk at all the whole time that we walked to the pool.

When we got there, he acted like he hadn't seen his friends in ages. He took off his shirt and jumped into the pool. I didn't know how scared I looked until one of the people that were at the pool asked if I was okay. Of course I said I was, and acted as if I was happy.

When I was off my period, I went to the pool again. Because he wanted me to. I was swimming in my gym outfit, because I didn't have any swim suits. I called my mom before I got into the pool to come pick me up, because I knew that my boyfriend would be putting my legs around his waist and kissing my neck.

When my mom finally got there, she tried to meet my boyfriend, but he acted as if he didn't know that she was there. My mom's really stubborn when she wants to do something, so she didn't give up until he shook her hand and introduced himself. I was outside the gate, waiting for my mom to leave. Then he came and hugged me, But he looked angry.

He was yelling at me later that night, but it was worse than before. I said sorry and told him good night. I could barely sleep that night. I finally had enough of him. I had enough of feeling like a worthless piece of shit that can be used then thrown away. I tried breaking up with him, but he started crying and telling me all these sweet things that he used to tell me when we first started dating. I ignored him for a bit, but he replied to my story, tried to call me, and texted me over and over on all of my social medias. To shut him up, I took him back, but I think I did it out of fear. I didn't do it in person, so in person, his reaction would be different. I started thinking about the things he'd do to me.

That week, he acted as if I was a precious gem that needed to be kept safe. But that didn't last. That week my best friend broke up with my ex and he was in a good mood again. Really good mood. I wasn't a gem anymore. I was a trashbag. I think I explained what happened at this point in a different post.

Well he broke up with me for my best friend that didn't even want him. Two months later, (current time) he starts talking to me again. He kept sending me friend requests and it was getting annoying to decline them all. So I accepted one, And told him that I'll block him if he says something stupid. We had a normal conversation until he started acting like he did before we started dating. He sent me a picture of himself and told me to "snap back", but I said that I'd rather not. And sent him a screenshot of me saying that I'll block him if he says something stupid. Before the screenshot fully sent, he said "fuck you biiiiissshhhh suck my dick biisshh". I read it, but didn't reply.

The screenshot fully sent and he tried covering up what he said by asking "have you not seen that video?😂". Obviously not. I blocked him. That's the last time I'll even think hes being mature for once. I can't be near him without feeling scared. (It's summer still and he doesn't know where I live, so I'm not scared for right now) at school, I can't be in the same room as him without freaking out. I can't be near him this year. I won't.

Anyway, this experience has ruined dating for me. Maybe sometime in the future, I can get over this and try again. But not right now, and people don't understand that. I've been flirted with a few times in the past two months, and I explain that I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet, but they get angry.

Thanks for reading this. If something like this happens to you, tell someone right away. I didn't tell anyone with authority and I regret it.

[brawla]

What was his childhood like with his brothers and a single mother, and how did he come out to them? Was he well received? How does it affect all his relationships in life, given the time period?

GH okay i can talk in depth about this so its going under a cut. warnin for talk abt dysphoria, blasphemy (only kind of vaguely referred to), vague implications of nonphysical abuse and potential misgendering/transphobia/etc

so like… he was born a fraternal twin which wasnt so shocking to the family dynamic bc there was already a pair of twins But after having a total of 9 kids and One of them being born biologically female you kinda fixate on that yknow? so. elliot was most definitely Pegged to be the odd one out from the start but he kinda never really was. he played in the same way that his brothers played and loved getting dirty and being a general nuisance and he was, in essence, already One Of The Boys by like age 4. i should note also his oldest brother is 10 years older and most of them have like a ½ y age difference

inserting this bit right here to clarify the dog incident happened when he was 6 and four of them were playing in a dry canal n there were wild dogs hiding in the underpass (and up until then hed only known dogs as nice creatures) so he goes to pet em yadda yadda arms and legs get fucked up real bad. forearms are still wicked sensitive and scarred up but his knees recovered merely because he ran. they didnt have money for hospital bills so he was kinda useless for a while though

so anyway. despite her child obviously being a “““tomboy”““ she still attempted to force him into frilly dresses and do his hair all nice and when he was Really young he didnt super care but eventually noticed the difference in how his mom allowed his brothers to behave vs how she allowed him to behave and it upset him??? and granted this was more when he was like 8 or 9 and it was less “elli go play” and more “elli help me with dinner” even though she often didnt include anybody else in that request. so he starts cutting his own hair and disobeying openly and gets kinda mean because of it (thus his inclusion in being a Town Terror with the other brothers) uhh

they fought a Lot as kids bc margaret wasnt the Best at keeping them in line especially when shed get more concerned with sleeping with other men/going out for the nice bc once chase (oldest) was old enough to technically be in charge shed just kinda Leave sometimes an pray they didnt set the house on fire. because of that it was “im trapped in a house with all my brothers lets wrestle and scream until the neighbors call the cops on us because somebody might be dying” but at the end of the day they still had that Sibling Bond that rose above anything else

moving back onto the Trans Narrative: he realizes somethings up mid/end of middle school and hes not sure how to put it into words but he doesnt Feel Good anymore. doesnt like hearing his deadname or being the singular “girl” of the family. his twin, owen, is like, his first Go To for comfort and owen doesnt know either but he doesnt really Care. one time he tries to tell his mom but she waves him off and tells him never to bring it up again and… he Doesnt. goes through his first couple years of high school horrifically depressed and just barely passing year to year if Even passing until the very beginning of junior year he just Stops going. owen and some of the more fraternal of his brothers, when older, are kinda the only thing that keeps him grounded and ultimately he feels Useless ages 16 to 18

spy is his first contact bc he knows his mom who kinda just laments about how useless this kid who used to be so excited to play baseball with his brothers and run around and race freely is all of the sudden, please make him stop. and spys reluctant but also Guilty and has him flown out to nm for various hit and run jobs and elliot doesnt really realize what hes been thrust into at first but it gets to a point where doing Anything (even Crime) feels so good he doesnt care. inducted officially into the team when hes 19 or 20 and also has his name legally changed within that time period (jeremy is his “formal” name his mom insisted upon when he informed her this was a thing that was happening and she couldnt do anything about it, but if addressed by his actual name hed much rather hear elliot except in Official or as previously stated, formal, settings). voila The Scout is born

he technically comes out to the family when hes like 18/19 and already living out of home and he comes back to visit for a gathering where a lot of people are there includin some of his brothers’ dads. and nobody really knows what to do (mom im trans and also stronger than you so dont try any shit) bc most of them are religious and all of the boys were raised christian even if they were just going to church for the sake of going to church. and like… over time they adapt… margaret pulls the whole “this is all my fault my babys going to hell” thing for a while and makes it about her and some of his brothers do the same (william, the second oldest and michael, one of the other twins are the only two who are like “absolutely not youre disowned never speak to me again” and disallow their kids from seeing him EVEN THOUGH his nieces and nephews love him the Most) but eventually they kinda Get It. and dont Agree with it but cant bear to just leave their baby brother behind. so. its like. they fuck up the pronouns a lot but still Vaguely try. he doesnt talk to them a lot and wishes honestly hed never said anything and just moved out and lived stealth (hes stealth in tfi). he sends money home bc despite all his mom did and said to him bc deep down he still cares but. yknow. he avoids them if he can

SORRY THAT GOT LONG onto other tidbits

he never did baseball in school but played recreationally with the boys every time he got the opportunity to but he did run track when he got to eighth grade/high school and was really fantastic at it. hed run and began exercising initially as a way to beat his brothers but his mom makes some off-handed comment about how its good hes finally doing that, he could bear to lose somea that chub, nobody likes a fat girl (hes 12!) and is like Ah. and hes less self conscious about his weight now bc hes accepted the fact most of his weight is muscle and hes naturally curvy partly bc hes pretty and partly bc hes a runner. hes very very secure in himself and his identity even if he cant just tell people hes trans

he probably wouldve continued religiously if he hadnt been told by multiple sources that the “behaviors” he engaged in would upset god and get him banished to hell for life so he stopped going to church when he moved. of course, god only confirming he was his gift to the earth made him (silently) rub it in his familys face and he stopped uhh. believing in what was taught at churches simply bc he was convinced hed met god and proved all of them wrong? anyway

at the age and place he is he tends not to make lasting relationships with many people, at least romantically, because hes positive one of these days hell move to a place people dont know him and hell have had surgery and suddenly fit in with the cis and be able to settle down then. god knows he has the money for it; but for where hes at he tends not to care, not to tell anybody, n probably hasnt uhhh yknow Bonked for several years which is whatever he lives. He Lives. i think thats all i have to say on this IM SO SORRY but. this ask is very important to me

[skiasurveys]

1. When did you both get together? we started to flirt/hang out around april 2016, we officially started dating in may 2016 though.

2. Who made the first move?  he did

3. How long have you been a couple? its been 2 years and 2 months

4. How did you first meet?  online dating app

5. Were you already close friends before going out as a couple?  not rly, we tried to date before and that lasted for a week..didnt talk for a while. when we got back into contact around end of the march of 2016 we kinda were “friends” but not rly.

6. Are you/Were you ever in the same class at school?  no

7. Are you long-distance?  nope

8. Are you in an open, regular or committed relationship? committed

9. Do you live together?  we did for a bit. not anymore. were planning on finding our own place soon though now that we both have jobs

10. Are you engaged? If yes, describe your proposal. If no, what ring would you like?  yeah we got engaged in feb. basically connor wanted this TV he found on kijiji and we went to go get it. it was in a town that was 40 mins away, anyways on the way back we pulls over on the side of the road and im like wtf and then he got down on his knee and asked me to marry him. it took me by surprised, bc i wasnt expecting it obvs and i didnt think he would ever ask me tbh bc he said he didnt like the idea of marriage.

11. Are you married? If yes, describe your wedding. If no, would you consider marriage?  ^ yeah

12. Which one of you is older? What is the age difference?  he is by 6.5 yrs

13. Which one of you is taller? What is the height difference?  he is by a foot 

14. Do you share any of the same hobbies/interests/passions? yeah we like the same movies, tv shows, video games

15. What fictional couples would you compare yourselves to? idk lol

16. Sum up your relationship in 6 words or less.  were comfortable and happy

17. Doodle a little picture of you both as a couple.  no

18. Describe your relationship using only emoticons.  :3

19. Share a cute photo of you both together.  check my instagram @ wolfkhid

ATTRACTION

20. Top 5 fav things about your partner. he is funny, handsome, tall, he understands me,hes smart

21. Your partner’s top 5 fav things about you. ask him

22. What physical traits do you find most attractive about your partner? his face and his arms/hands. mmm

23. What physical traits does your partner find most attractive about you? he likes that im small, he likes my body shape (short stacked)

24. What personality traits do you find most attractive about your partner? he is funny,  he tells me the truth, hes honest

25. What personality traits does your partner find most attractive about you?  he likes that im caring and that im funny

26. Do you hold hands in public? Any other public displays of affection?  we do sometimes. he doesnt like pda too much. he’ll smack my ass tho lol

27. List your top 3 turn-ons about your partner. he is tall, his domiance, and hes funny 

28. List your partner’s top 3 turn-ons about you.  im small, my ass and im submissive 

29. How would you seduce your partner? How would they seduce you? food obviously.

30. Innocently or not, where do you like your partner to touch you?  my thighs or sides

31. Describe your partner’s eyes. Amber brown and round. theyre really nice. im not poetic  32. Describe your partner’s hair. dark brown, short and messy lol 

33. Describe your partner’s smile. happiness

34. What is your partner’s voice like? deep and nice 

35. What is your partner’s scent like? idk how to explain it

36. How does your partner impress you? How do you impress them? harfcore eating skills

37. What outfit would you like to see your partner in? What would they like to see you wear?  he likes me in short skirts and thigh high socks. i honestly dont care what he wears as long as its nice. he looks good in skinnyish jeans

38. Show your fav picture of your partner that they’ve posted online. not sure if he would be okay with that LOL

ROMANCE 39. Do you have cute pet names for each other? yeah

40. What’s one of your favourite memories as a couple?  theres so many

41. Describe your favourite date so far? when we played super smash bros at the college

42. What’s the sweetest thing that your partner’s ever done for you? paid off my credit card bill. made me a really nice  salad, etc

43. Do either of you get jealous? i do lol cus im insecure. he doesnt unless he does and i just dont know  

44. Is one of you protective of the other? we both are

45. How do you both like to kiss? passionate 

46. How do you both like to cuddle? all tangled up

47. What’s a gift that you’ve given to your partner? And one they’ve given to you? i got him some nice cologne and he gave me some money to pay off my card, and also he got me a nice ring

48. Are you an openly mushy couple or a reserved couple? reserved honestly

49. Does one of you like to cook for the other? we both do

50. Do you have unique ringtones/images for each other on your phones?  not unique 

51. Have you ever had your initials written on a tree or in the sand? haha no

52. What’s “your song”? i cant help falling in love with you

53. Do you own any items that are a special symbol of your relationship? sure

54. What did you both do for Valentine’s Day? he proposed to me :D

55. Do you express your love lavishly or discreetly?  both?

56. What’s the funniest thing you can remember your partner doing? theres a lot..lol he pretended to be a snake

57. Does thinking about your partner still give you butterflies?  kinda

58. What’s the weirdest part of your relationship? everything hahah

BEING TOGETHER 59. Fav things to do together on a rainy day? playing WoW together, or watching movies, or going to get Thai food!

60. Fav things to do together on a sunny day? Same thing, go for walks maybe bike ride.

61. Got any plans together for next week? not really. hes going biking with his friends and im working lol but ill prob spend the night on Saturday

62. What’s your favourite thing to share together? Food

63. What did you do for your partner’s latest birthday? What did they do for yours? nothing for him, he doesnt like birthday parties so we didnt do anything, but i bought him a present. He gave me some money, and we hung out, except he worked that night so we couldnt do much.

64. Where would you like to go on holiday together? maybe Disneyland

65. You have a whole weekend to yourselves and 500 in cash- what do you do? maybe we go to Banff and have a nice stay there

66. How would you comfort your partner on a bad day? How would they comfort you? I would make him a nice meal maybe or rub his back. I would tell him everything is OK. It depends on whats bothering him. For me he would hold me and watch movies with me and kiss me.

67. Where would you both get takeout together? thai place downtown i forget the name

68. What’s the longest time you’ve been apart?  About 1 month and 1 week, he went to Prince George to see his Dad and some family. 

69. What things remind you of your partner? What things remind them of you? Pokemon honestly lol and idk honestly. maybe nuggets

70. Has your relationship changed at all since it first started? well yeah! we are more closer, i feel like i can be myself. 

71. Have you ever worked on a project together?  kinda. not rly.

72. Have you both influenced each other in any way? sure

73. Have either of you made sacrifices for this relationship? yes. Connor literally slept behind a couch for like 7 months because he wanted to stay in RD and didnt want to leave me, and he didnt have a place. (he couldnt stay with me b/c my family is really conservative and we couldnt afford a place together). He honestly is so wonderful. He now has a place

74. Has you discovered anything surprising about your partner? yes. 

75. How have you both made a positive impact on each other’s lives?  i would hope so.

76. What do you both mutually agree is the most important part of your relationship? honesty, conversation/communication, loyalty. 

EVERYDAY LIFE 77. What are the everyday things you both do to show you care about each other? being there for each other, talking, etc.

78. Do you follow each other’s blogs/twitter/instagram? yes but he doesnt have IG or Twitter, but i follow him on other stuff

79. Is there a favourite place that you both frequently go to together? not really.

80. What TV shows do you like to watch together? theres too many to name honestly.

81. How do you relax together? chilling and netflix

82. What sleep positions do you tend to sleep together in? spooning usually, or tangled up. depends on how hot it is though

83. Do you borrow each other’s clothes or other items? not so much clothes but items yes

84. Do you ever share the bathroom together? yeah 

85. How do you both keep in touch when you’re away from each other? texting

86. Do you share secrets between each other?  yes

87. Do you rotate house chores or do you each have assigned chore duties? well we dont live together but i help him clean his place if he needs help. But if we were to live together we would rotate it.

88. Do you remember how your partner takes their coffee/tea/bar drinks?  he doesnt like coffee or tea and doesnt drink so much

89. What does your partner think of your Tumblr? nothing?? i guess?? he doesnt rly care he doesnt check on it

90. What characters do you play as together when playing multiplayer games? we do a lot of rpg games

COMPATABILITY 91. Are you both introverted/extroverted or opposites?  hes more intro than me, but im like a mix/

92. Who is the more dominant/submissive one? hes the dom for sure

93. What are some major differences between you both? he is more messy, and chill/care free than me.

94. When are you both “in your element” together? what

95. Who would win in an arm-wrestling contest? him obvs

96. What are each of your zodiac signs and how do they compare? he is a Taurus and im  Sagittarius . and idk b/c i dont read up on that shit

97. What are each of your MBTI types and how do they compare? omg idk what his is! im an isfj

98. What are each of your Hogwarts houses and how do they compare? n/a

99. If you were both in a dating sim, what character tropes would each of you be? idk

100. If you were both animals what would you be? Would you be the same animal?  he would be a cat, id be a raccoon obvs

101. How does your partner’s wardrobe differ from yours?  he is more laid back, just jeans and tshirts, or sweat pants. I wear a lot of nice shirts, skinny jeans/ leggings and buisness casual if i have too

102. Have you ever both said something at the exact same time? yea

103. Rate your relationship on a scale of basic vanilla (1) to extremely kinky (10)  um like maybe a 7

104. Mix your fav colour with your partner’s fav colour- what is the result? Magenta

105. If you were both ingredients, what would each of you be and what would be the resulting recipe? (e.g. PB & jelly sandwich) ummm lol idk

106. Which of you would win in a Pokemon battle? Assign yourself and your partner a fitting Pokemon type (e.g. water, grass, poison etc). Are either of you super effective against the other? he obvs cus he knows more about POkemon lol

CONFLICT 107. What happens when you argue with each other? How do you both make up? we stay silent for a bit or we talk it out. 

108. What’s something that your partner does that annoys you? How do you annoy them? he doesnt text back all the time -_- and i probably annoy him with my constant questions or reassurance

109. What are some imperfections that you love about your partner? he is a derp

110. What are some imperfections that your partner loves about you? 

111. Has your partner ever accidentally hurt you? Have you accidentally hurt them? i have scratched him by accident, and he has bruised me while wrestling lol

112. Is there anything about you that your partner just doesn’t understand? yeah my mental illnes

113. Is there anything about your partner that you just don’t understand? why does every little thing make him mad lol

114. When was the last time you cried about your relationship and why? idk 

115. What is something you love that your partner hates? im not sure honestly.

116. What is something you hate that your partner loves? anime

117. When was the last time you had to apologise to your partner and why? when i got mad at him and was being a smart ass

118. Do either of you get too clingy? both of us but me abit more

119. Do you have any insecurities about your relationship? yep.

120. When was a time that your relationship was put to the test? never?

121. What would your partner have to do to make you end the relationship?  cheat on me honestly, or just start changing completely.

RELATIONS 122. Does your family approve of your relationship? yes

123. What do your friends think of your relationship?  they like him

124. How do you both act together around others as opposed to when you’re alone together? when we are around others we can tease eachother and just be together but when were alone were more open, flirt more, etc

125. How did you first reveal to people that you were going out?  told them..and also facebook

126. Do you think you and your partner look similar to each other? lol not really..i mean we both have dark eyes and hair, but i dont think we look anything a like. He has some turkish in him too so theres that lol im just a white bitch

127. How does your partner treat you special compared to everyone else in their life? he opens up to me, tells me his deep secrets, teases me, etc

128. Do you both have a mutual friend group, or only separate friendship groups?  both, but his friends dont rly see my friends that much haha

129. What’s a common misconception about your relationship? earlier it was that he was too old for me. idk what ppl think anymore

130. Has your relationship affected any of your relations with others? i dont think so.

131. Has anyone tried to sabotage your relationship? yep

132. Quote something somebody has said about your relationship. “you guys are so cute together!! couple goals”

133. Quote something somebody has said about your partner. “he’s glad your dad is dead” - some cunt LOL

FUTURE 134. What do you hope for the future of your relationship? that we can live in a nice home and be happy lol

135. If you both got married, what would you want your wedding to be like? intimate and small.

136. Can you imagine what your ideal home would look like? something simple.

137. Do you have kids/want to have kids? What would they be like?  we both dont want kids. 

138. If you could do anything for your partner what would you do? make him happy

139. Do you think you’ll still be together when you’re old and wrinkly? i hope so, i believe so

140. Got any relationship advice?  just the basic , dont be with someone all b/c youre lonely. 

[themoneybuff-blog]

Helping Mom apply for Social Security -- More complicated than it needs to be?

My mother turned seventy a couple of weeks ago. This means a couple of things: First, shes reached the age at which she can receive maximum retirement benefits from Social Security.Second, its time for her to start taking Required Minimum Distributions from her retirement accounts. If youve been reading Get Rich Slowly for a while, you know that these two routine tasks are less than routine for my family. My mother has fought a long-time battle with mental illness. After a crisis in 2011, my brothers and I realized that she could not live alone. We found a highly-regarded local assisted living facility that specializes in patients with memory issues. (Mom has some sort of cognitive disability that includes memory loss, but which the doctors have been unable to diagnose.) For the past seven years, Mom has lived at Happy Acres in a comfortable apartment with her cat (Bonnie) and her television. When I see her, I often ask if theres anything more she needs or wants. She assures me that this is all she needs to be happy.

At this point, Mom struggles with routine personal hygiene, so theres no way she can take care of tasks like signing up for Social Security or taking withdrawals from her retirement accounts. As her sons, thats now our job. (And were happy to do it.) You might think that this process would be easy but youd be wrong. I suspect that in most cases, getting retirement benefits started is easy, but its much less so in our situation. A Little Bit of Kafka At first, my brother Jeff and I thought that setting up Social Security would be simple. He and I both have Power of Attorney. Were accustomed to this allowing us to breeze through most financial tasks as if we were Mom herself. In March, about a month before Moms birthday, I spent an afternoon at the local Social Security office. I took all of the documentation that I could gather. I arrived to find the waiting room was packed with other folks applying for benefits. It was standing-room only. Rather than get frustrated, I sighed and resigned myself to waiting. And wait, I did. I waited for two hours before my number was called. (It was all fine, though. I spent the time absorbed in a good book.) When my turn came, I sat at the desk and talked to the clerk. Im here to apply for Social Security benefits for my mother, I said. Is your mother with you? the clerk asked. No, I said. But I have Power of Attorney. I pulled out the paperwork to offer proof. The clerk waved her hand and shook her head. The Social Security Administration does not recognize Powers of Attorney, she told me. To conduct business on your mothers behalf, you must be a designated representative, a legal guardian. What does that mean? I asked. For all practical purposes, it means you probably should make an appointment to bring your mother in with you. Thats going to be the easiest thing to do. Okay, I said. But shes not really going to be able to carry on a conversation or to make an informed decision about anything. Still, lets make an appointment. Even if shes not mentally fit, she has to be the one who applies in person, the clerk said. She clicked at her keyboard, searching for appointment times. Im sorry, but we dont have any appointments available. I was puzzled. Let me get this straight. Mom has to apply in person. To apply in person, we have to make an appointment. But there are no appointments available? Well, there three other options, the clerk said. She can do what you did today and wait in the lobby. She can call each morning to see if there are any cancellations. Or she can apply online. However, she has to apply herself. You cant fill out the application for her. Ill admit that I was both baffled and a little steamed. Shes not able to fill out the application herself. Shes not capable, I said. I dont think its a good idea to have her wait here with me for two hours as a drop-in. And calling the day-of to get an appointment is problematic. It would take roughly three hours from the time I called in order to get her here. The clerk shrugged. I dont know what to tell you, she said. Those are your three options. Skirting the Law When I returned home, I called my brother to explain the situation. I feel like theres no way we can get this done, I said, unless we fudge things a little. What do you mean? he said. Well, theres no way for Mom to complete the application hereself, right? Legally, shes required to. But what if we completed it for her while shes in the room? Im okay with that, Jeff said. And thats what we did: Jeff and I sat with Mom and worked through the online Social Security benefits application. Much of the application asked for standard stuff, such as age, mailing address, and so on. It was easy for us to answer those questions. But some of the questions required sleuthing. To set up Moms online Social Security account, for instance, we had to puzzle out a battery of questions drawn from her credit history. (Solution? Just pull a free credit report, which youre allowed to do three times per year.) To actually complete the benefits application, we needed to figure out important dates regarding her marriage and her work history. Whenever we reached a question that stumped us, we asked Mom for the answer. She never had the answers, though, so we had to dig through various documents to find the info. After a couple of hours, wed finished the application. We asked Mom to type in her name for the digital signature. (Even that was tough for her.) The process was overor so we thought. About a week later, we got a letter in the mail from the Social Security Administration. Thank you for contacting us for an appointment to visit our office, the letter read. This is confirmation of the date and time of your appointment. What in the world is this? Jeff asked me. We never made an appointment for Mom. I have no idea, I said. I thought wed done everything we need to do at this point. But Ill tell you what. It sounds like we have a firm date and time for an appointment, so lets just take it. We may be duplicating our efforts, but thats okay. Im willing to sacrifice a few hours of my time just to make sure everything is correct. Return to Purgatory Jeff handled everything with the assisted living facility, arranging for Mom to have an early breakfast, and getting her approved to take a field trip. His wife showed up yesterday morning just to make sure everything went according to plan. Meanwhile, I left the house at 7:30, stopped by the family box factory to pick up supporting documentation, then headed to Happy Acres to pick up Mom. When we reached the Social Security office at 8:55, there was already a long line at the door. Theres no way were going to get inside in time for our nine oclock appointment, I thought to myself, but it turns out I neednt have worried. When the office opened, a security guard summoned folks with appointments to the front of the line. Mom and I went inside to meet the clerk who would be conducting the interview. Our clerk was both friendly and helpful. He was also meticulous and business-like. At first, he directed his questions to Mom (as he should have), but when it became clear that Mom couldnt answer for herself, he addressed me instead. Weve received your mothers application for retirement benefits, the clerk told me. But shes also eligible for survivors benefits. Thats what todays interview is about. We want to get her set up in the system so that she receives everything shes due. The clerk interviewed us for about twenty minutes. Unfortunately, we werent able to answer all of his questions because we werent prepared for them. When did Dad die? I remember that date very clearly. When were Mom and Dad married? I dont know off the top of my head and Mom can no longer remember. Do you have a copy of their marriage certificate? the clerk asked. No, we do not. Ah, youll need to get a certified copy and mail it to me in order to complete this process. How do I do that? I asked. Youll need to contact the Department of Vital Records in whichever state she was married, he said. Once you get a certified copy, mail it to me in this envelope. After we have all of the documentation we need, benefits will begin a few weeks later. To Be Continued Last month during my road trip through the southeastern United States, I stopped to visit my pal Cameron Huddleston in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Huddleston, a personal-finance columnist, has experienced something similar herself. Her mother has Alzheimers, so Huddleston has had to learn to manage her money. And, in fact, she just signed a deal to write a book about managing your parents money. Its kind of a boring topic, but its important, Huddleston told me. Its something that more and more people are wrestling with, especially as lifespans increase and personal finances become more complicated. She hopes to produce a useful guide to help people like me figure this stuff out. From what we can tell, nothing like this exists right now. Its like each person in my situation has to re-invent the wheel, to puzzle through the process on our own each time. Im eager to be the first person to buy Huddlestons book! Obviously, my family still has work to do. From what we can tell, Moms application for Social Security retirement benefits has been accepted and now its simply a matter of waiting for payments to begin. (This can take up to three months, apparently.) Meanwhile, in order for her to receive survivors benefits, we need to track down a copy of her marriage certificate, which I suspect is going to eat another couple hours of my time. Thats a task for this afternoon, I guess. Plus, I havent even started talking to Vanguard about how to take Required Minimum Distributions from Moms IRA. We have another 5-1/2 months to solve this piece of the puzzle. (RMDs must begin by the time the account holder is 70-1/2 years old.) Im going to wait until the Social Security benefits are finally flowing before I move on to the IRA. One final task? The next time I see that Mom is having a lucid day, I want to ask her what we can buy her to improve her life. She says shes content sitting in front of the television with a cat in her lap, but I feel like there must be something more we can do for her. Maybe get her a second and third cat? Maybe get her a super-deluxe television? Or how about buying a fancy chair with built-in massage? Mom has some money now. Itd be awesome to use that money to give her a better life. Important footnote: Dad died in July 1995. Mom has missed out on 23 years of Social Security survivors benefits because we werent aware that she should apply for them. Thats crazy! Do you have any literature on survivors benefits? I asked the clerk at the Social Security office yesterday. He have me a few pamphlets. Soon, Ill read all of this material and write a short blog post summarizing the most important pieces. https://www.getrichslowly.org/applying-for-social-security/

[angelikaganz3-blog]

hot hairy ladies - Nine Mesmerizing Examples Of Hot Hairy Pussy Photos

At the time I was close to the best shape Id ever been in, about 59, muscular build with a little bit of chub, around 210 pounds. My time with Kristie (18) took place over the summer between Senior year and College. I met her through a friend and didnt really think too much of her, she was short, big breasts, no ass to speak of but for some reason, and yet I was attracted to her. So I was there, marinating chicken and listening to music over a speaker, dancing my ass off because I like dancing, so what. Any type of action to make work go faster is an action Ill partake in. Fast forward to the next day around noon and I wanted to pursue the friendship with her because like I said, I was attracted to her somewhat and even if it didnt work out I gain a new friend. I followed her on Instagram and hit her up. After I notice her and wave hello I go back to my dancing, not realizing that she was checking me out. " Now I wasnt being serious by any means, I just have a really sarcastic sense of humor and fucking with people makes me happy. Anyways, she comes in and I see her in line and remember her awkward introduction and figured hey, why not try to be friends with her? Youre really good at dancing you know," I preened myself at this compliment, dancing is near and dear to me and to hear it from someone I was interested in really buttered my eggroll. My first time meeting her was when I was at work, I was in the back of the house marinating chicken for the next day (chipotle workers represent), and saw her come in. What do I have to lose from getting another friend? I decided to push the conversation a little bit to gauge how she would feel about a more suggestive tone, "You dont get an ass like mine by just sitting around you know, I worked hard for this work of art," Yet again, almost instantaneous response. If you loved this informative article and you would want to receive much more information about nude hairy pussy pictures assure visit our own web-page. I started with a joking ice-breaker about the night before, "What you saw last night in the restaurant stays in the restaurant, get me? Im texting her while Im getting ready, "You ready for this? Her parents werent home and she wanted to fuck. " "Hell yes," she said, "I need you here now, to feel you inside of me and know that youre going to fuck me senseless is all Ive been able to think about. The rest of the conversation is fairly irrelevant considering the details, but the basic gist of it was "coy" flirting back and forth until we got onto the topic of sex, then we starting talking about it more, blah blah blah, four days later I was getting ready to go to her house. The thing was, I was extremely nervous. "Oh, believe me, I noticed," Let it be noted at this point I was fairly confident in my ability to pull this off, and I wasnt exactly thinking with the right head if you get my meaning. I hadnt gotten laid in awhile and I was a horny 18-year-old, can you blame me? She was into it too - telling me how she was going to suck my dick dry, ride me until I couldnt stand, you get the idea. Saying it over text is one thing, having to go over is another beast entirely. She replied almost instantly, "You got it. " Again, in retrospect, I havent been thinking with the smartest mindset. I get to her house, or what I think is her house. As Im sure most of you can agree with me, over text message its a lot easier to appear as a cucumber-cool (pun intended) sex god or goddess. Spoiler alert, it didnt mellow me out. One of her neighbors had the same exact last name as her, no shit. And I was working it for all I was worth, telling her all of the filthy things I was going to do to her knowing if my mother read them it would bring her to tears. Standing outside the wrong house, eyes red as shit, and probably looking like I was going to throw up. I couldnt even find the doorbell either, so I stood out there looking like a fucking idiot for God knows how long until a middle-aged woman opened the door holding a baby asked atk hairy model directory me why I was standing outside of her house. At the time I smoked a lot of weed, and in my infinite wisdom, I decided it would be a good idea to smoke two bowls to mellow me out on my way over. " "No shit," I said to her, wondering how I got myself into this mess and how I was going to get out of it in one piece. " She yelled at me, "I think youre in the wrong place! I guess God does have a sense of humor, and its fucking sick. " I thanked her and set off up the street, and lo and behold, Kristie was walking towards me in what I think was a crop top and skirt, with a bun hairdo and looking scrumptious. We go straight to her room and she shuts the door. She turns around and moves in for a kiss. " I said nervously, about to shit myself, "I think you need to go down a couple of houses. I saw two outcomes, either I somehow fuck this girl better than shes ever had before, or I make an ass out of myself. Me, being a stoned fuckwad thought she wanted a kiss and tried to hug her. We make it back to her house, just a short walk and its a nice place. "You know Ive wanted to fuck you for awhile right? She looked at me weirdly and I thought I should explain, "I smoked some weed before I came here and Im really nervous. " I did and she got on top of me and started to unbutton my shirt. " "Me too, I havent been able to get fucked well enough in a long time. " This was news to me, with a plethora of self-image issues, I would have never guessed. I more or less told her that I was going to rock her world, etc. None of the guys I try to get with commit to being a dom well enough, and from what youve said to me youre going to be pretty great. " She laughed and said, "Dont worry about it, just go lay on my bed. But before I had a chance to respond, she leaned in and kissed me, and started grinding on my crotch. "I didnt know that actually, but Im glad we talked it out and Im here now. I forgot about my big game talk. 7 on a good day, and you bet your ass Im still self-conscious about it. As shes grinding on my crotch I start feeling around her body to see what Im working with. I was on the wrestling team at the time and I decided to just let myself go and see where this sexcapade would take me, so I flipped her over on her back and started working my pseudo-dom magic. For some reason all the dudes on this subreddit have 2 foot long PVC Pipes for cocks, which I know isnt true, but is still disheartening to read at times, though I digress. Now, a wise man once told me that I shouldnt worry about performing well in the sack, and not to worry about my dick size, because at the end of the day as long as you have fun and go loose then itll be a good time. " "Yes Daddy," she moaned, "Please fuck me. I pinned her arms above her head and growled in her ear, "If either of your hands touches me before I give you permission, youre going to regret it. Like I said, big boobies, small ass, but sexy voice and I dig her hair. I need you inside of me now. " Now in my mind, Im slowly getting into this, biting her ear, neck, you name it. Im not a hung dude by any means, were talking 5. This was the moment of truth though, my exceedingly average sized hammer of Mjolnir was about to come out for the first time, and I needed to make a good impression. She looks down and says nothing about it, was that good? " I slowly slid into her and she moaned loudly. " "Please Daddy fuck me now, I want it, I need it. She wasnt tight, and the condom was tight as hell, which told me I had more stamina than I knew what to do with. I slowly fucked her, listening to her beg for me to fuck her harder. Shed been a good girl. I braced her back with one arm so she couldnt move, and the other was pulling her hair, and I started fucking her for all I was worth. I put the condom on and start to tease her with it. I continued to thrust into her slowly while she moaned softly, both of us spent from the hard fucking we had given one another. I tortured her until I was satisfied. Then I turned her around again, where she was on top of me and I had her lay on top of me with my cock still inside her. We should keep going, let me suck your cock. " she asked me, "No, did you? Now, for all of this girls shortcomings that I would learn in the next few weeks, she remains the best person I have ever received head from, hands down. " I didnt have to be told twice. She did this thing with her tongue that drove me wild, and for some reason, she absolutely loved sucking my balls. I took off the condom, and dont worry, I had more, as she went down on me. I pull her hair harder and she screamed louder and continued to pound her pussy until I couldnt breathe. Nothing wrong in my world right now, my car could have gotten towed and I would not have given a care in the world. Hell yes I do, I just railed you and I cant breathe. After awhile of her sucking me off, she asks if I want some water. She comes in with the water and we both replenish the sweat we expelled during our last session. "FUCK FUCK YES OHMYGODDONTFUCKING STOP YES DADDY" she screams, the dog in the cage out in the living room is barking to high heaven, and Im just getting started. Gotta get ready for round two. I grab her by the throat and bend her over her bed. I fucked into her again and again, without pause and shes going absolutely wild. She left to get the water as I started to evaluate my condition. Shes still drinking her water as I storm over to her, take the cup away from her and put it down. Hickeys on my chest, face red, and dick still hard as a rock. I put on another condom and wasted no time teasing her. On the other hand, it could be completely genuine and I could potentially be fucking this girl within an inch of her life. " Shes screaming, "FUCK THIS SLUTS LITTLE PUSSY! She asked me again, "Did you cum yet? " Now, I dont know about you guys but what shes saying is making me feel kind of strange. " "I wont argue with it. How long had I been gone? "PLEASE KEEP FUCKING ME DADDY! I continued fucking her until yet again I couldnt breathe, and we fell into bed next to hairy women sites each other. It feels scripted, overdone, and not really meaningful. Sure mom, let me just finish fucking this girls brains real quick and Ill be home in two shakes of a lambs tail. Mom is asking if Ill be home for dinner. She needs me to come home. Im making a really good first impression on you for whatever reason. It was a school night and I needed to do homework. When can we get together again? Realistically though I did need to go home naked girls with hairy pussy soon. I didnt know if I wanted to. " "Cant you stay a little longer? "I cant, Im sorry, she wants me home for dinner. " she asks me with hope in her eyes. " "That sounds okay," she said, sounding somewhat defeated. "Im not sure, why dont we play it by ear? "Ill talk to you later," I said as I was walking out to my car. I would fuck Kristie again, a few months down the line against my better judgment, but thats a story for another time. "Give me a kiss before you go. " she asks me as Im putting on my pants. " Woah there miss, I dont know if that was part of the deal, but before I could say anything we had already locked lips and she was tonguing my mouth like she was trying to start a fucking car. This was my first time writing here and any constructive criticism is welcome. Something was telling me this girl was bad news.

[topsolarpanels]

The Obama years: novelists assess his legacy

Expectations were sky high when Barack Obama was elected president in 2008. As his term is coming to an end, has he disillusioned or delivered? Novelists in America evaluate him

Tobias Wolff: The coolness of his style contribute to a lack of praise for what he has achieved

Tobias Wolff is best known for his memoir This Boys Life , which won the Los Angeles Times book award for biography. His 1984 novella, The Barracks Thief , won the Pen/ Faulkner award for fiction. He was the director of creative writing at Stanford from 2000 to 2002 and received a National Medal of Arts from the president in 2015.

Our nominees for chairwoman campaign as if theyre operating for king, and not just any monarch no quaint, hospital-touring symbol of national unity , no mere figurehead answerable to a constitution and a popular assembly. Congress? Whats that? If elected, our American candidate will, like an absolute ruler, resolve the thorniest problems of state simply by exerting his( or her !) will. Is the domestic economy on fire, and about to spread to our neighbours? He will fix it, because he knows how. Students drowning in debt? Hell induce college free! Islamic jihadists taking over cities in Syria and Iraq? Hell carpet bomb them until we find out if sand[ and innocent civilians] can glow.

Tobias Wolff: Despite my years, I believed in Obama believed not only that he meant what he said, but that he could get it done. Photograph: Murdo MacLeod for the Observer

Do suspected terrorists know more than theyre telling? Hell have them tortured till they sing like Pavarotti, and kill their families into the bargain, and the army will just have to suck it up and do what he says, even if they say they wont, and have the law to back them up. Law? Whats that? Shell ban assault weapons; hell make sure you can take them to church.

The promise of immediate and radical change is a campaign fiction presented with such bald-faced effrontery that we scarcely question it any more, unless its coming from the other side. Indeed, the performance cant be sustained unless we support it with our credulity, like a tentful of rubes gaping at the tricks of a carnival magician, even offering ourselves up as subjects.

The wishful thinking that is the source of this credulity is, of course, a prelude to disappointment if our nominee actually gets elected. Take the case of nominee Barack Obama. He was going to get us out of Iraq and Afghanistan, and close Guantnamo. He would save our failing economy, mend our breach healthcare system, and legislate sensible gun control legislation. He would overhaul our immigration system, address climate change with meaningful policies, and change the bilious tone of our political discourse. We werent a nation of red states and blue nations, he reminded us: we were the United States. Despite my years, I believed believed not only that he entailed what he said, but that he could get it done.

My wife and I collected several friends on a November night in 2008, and watched with elation and incredulity as this young, literary, ironical human with a Kenyan father was elected to the presidency. Some of us had tears in our eyes. I was one. But as time went on those tears began to burn. He wasnt get it done, or so it seemed to me. Guantnamo was still in business. The planet maintained heating up, and the wars dragged on, though increasingly waged by special forces. As before, just about anybody was free to walk into a firearm store and come out armed, and each year some 30,000 Americans continued to pay for that liberty with their lives.

And the tone of political life had become even more toxic than before the election. During President Obamas first State of the Union address, a congressman from South Carolina screamed: You lie ! and became a Republican hero, even as the leaders of that party dedicated themselves to obstructing President Obamas legislative initiatives and judicial appointments, effectively incapacitating the governmental forces in order, as the senate majority leader shamelessly admitted, to build Obama a one-term chairman. The birthers continued to question his legitimacy, and, further, to imply that he was a secret Muslim and supporter of Isis. He was Hitler. He was Lenin.

Obamacare supporters react to the US Supreme Court decision to uphold President Obamas health care statute, 28 June, 2012, Washington, DC. Photograph: Mark Wilson/ Getty Images

None of this of this was Obamas fault. Indeed, he reacted to the unrelenting river of slander and congressional malfeasance with unflappable pacify and an air of faintly amused detachment. And for that I did blame him. The coolness I had admired during his campaign became an irritant. In fact, it drove me kind of crazy. Why didnt he fight back? Show some rage at what was truly outrageous, the obstruction, the name-calling, the attacks on Michelle Obama for encouraging schools to serve healthy food, even for occasionally wearing garments that presented her arms? Call these liars and bullies out, damn it! Politics is mud wrestling, did he not understand that? And if he really didnt feel anger, then why not take some acting lessons, and fake it?

Well, I was wrong. As Barack Obama prepares to leave office, I think about what he managed to do in the face of implacable resistance. No, he didnt close Guantnamo; the Republican congress wouldnt let him , nor would they let him bring sanity to our firearm laws, or to our immigration policies. But as most economists agree, his financial initiatives, narrowly approved, did save us from a profound recession, perhaps even a depression. His successful automobile industry bailout, fiercely contested at the time, saved countless chores at almost no expenditure to the taxpayer. If Obama couldnt wholly extricate us from the wars he inherited, he has refrained from miring us in new wars, despite being constantly urged to do so by congressmen and senators who otherwise refuse to expend taxation dollars on, say, education, or roads, or environmental safeguards.

Finally, 20 million Americans who did not have health insurance when Barack Obama took office have it now; and in spite of dire Republican predictions, and umpteen voting in favour of repeal, it has actually lowered the healthcare cost inflation rate. No one in this country, however poor, or sick, need be without insurance. This achievement eluded Theodore Roosevelt and Bill Clinton, among others.

So why has Obama not been celebrated for what hes done? Why did so many of us so often feel a sense of impatience, even letdown? I believe it comes down to immaturity in us , not him. At least part of the reason for our failure to recognise and kudo what hes accomplished has to do with his style that coolness. He doesnt brag, or gloating. He doesnt call attention to himself, or extol his deeds in the streets, or ridicule those who resist him. But we wanted him to. We wanted hot. We wanted rage, slashing rhetoric, mock. We wanted him to call liars liars, idiots moronics. We wanted him to bully the bullies. We wanted him to wage war, and crow over his fallen adversaries. And because we did not get the melodrama we demanded, we lost the plot.

But now we have a candidate who will give us all the sound and fury we could ask for, or imagine. Lets see how we like it. Me, Im already nostalgic for Obama.

Akhil Sharma Now I am much less tolerant of white stupidity

Akhil Sharma: I understood the tenderness on the faces as hope. Photograph: Tim Knox

Akhil Sharma is the author of the 2015 Folio prize-winning novel Family Life as well as An Obedient Father , for which he won the 2001 Hemingway Foundation/ PEN awarding. Born in India, he moved to the US as a child and he is currently an assistant professor of creative writing at Rutgers University-Newark. His short story Cosmopolitan was was transformed into a 2003 movie of the same name .

At the Times Square subway stop there is an electronics good store with TVs in the windows. For perhaps the first two years of the Obama presidency, one of the TVs was constantly demonstrating Obama swearing the oath of office. Always there was a small knot of black people standing before the window, looking at the Tv tenderly.

I am Indian and I have experienced some racism in America but I did not experience Obamas inauguration or presidency as some great promise going true.

When I saw the knot of black people watching the inauguration, what I felt was embarrassment. I understood the tenderness on the faces as hope. That things would change. To me, it seemed obvious that things would not change. That racism and anxiety of others getting ahead is so deeply rooted in the white American psyche that there was bound to be a backlash. To me, the tenderness seemed as though people believing a lie they urgently wanted to believe.

In eight years a person can change quite a bit and, to me now, that tenderness I insured is not hope but exhilaration. There can be exhilaration in the moment and one can be joyful without expressed his belief that things will necessarily get much better. To me now, those black people standing before the window were smarter than I was in that they chose to enjoy their happiness.

One other style that I have experienced the Obama presidency is that I have begun to be intolerant of certain types of stupidity from white people. My role is no longer to help them become comfy with racial the questions or to help them assure another point of view. My response to white idiocy now is to tell people to grow up. I have an acquaintance who was Obamas boss when Obama had just gotten out of college. My acquaintance, a white man, was deep irritated that Obama had become president and that he himself had not. I can certainly claim to my share of irrationality but when I heard this, it seemed to me a new level of bizarreness. Before the Obama presidency, if I had heard something so stupid I would have just giggled. Now I asked the man if he would have guessed this if Obama had been white?

Attica Locke: His healthcare reforms were humongous

Attica Locke: When Obama was elected I was stunned in my soul. Photo: Ulf Andersen/ Getty Images

Attica Locke was bear in Texas. Her first fiction, Black Water Rising , was nominated for a 2010 Edgar award, an NAACP Image award, and a Los Angeles Times book prize. Her second, The Cutting Season , was a national bestseller and win of the Ernest Gaines award for literature. She is an academy member for the Folio prize UK, as well as being on the board of directors for the Library Foundation of Los Angeles .

When Obama was elected, what I felt was bigger than pleasure though Im not sure I have a word for what it was. I remember watching the results on TV and telling over and over: Is this actually happening? Is this real? I merely couldnt take it in. I was stunned in my soul.

A few months later, I went to stay on a plantation in southern Louisiana, doing research for my second book. I was sleeping in a little cabin right by the field where slaves used to cut sugar cane. One night a storm was coming and you could hear the leaves rustling against one another, and it voiced to me like voices. I recollect talking to whatever spirits were out there and telling them: Your labour was not in vain. Everything you lived for was not in vain. And I felt a deep sense of hope hope beyond what was written on an electoral poster.

Has that hope been fulfilled? Not exactly. Dont get me wrong, there was never a part of me that thought we were going to get a post-racial society. Im not interested in living in a post-racial society. But I had a hope that we were about to move past the worst of our racial history. Right now, America is at a crossroads. The Obama presidency can move us forward, or we can backslide into racial intolerance and violence for good. One of the effects of Obama being elected is that there is a level of racism in America that can no longer be ignored. If a human like Barack Obama, so well-educated, so graceful, so intelligent, so charming, can be so vilified and denigrated on a daily basis in some parts of the country and in Congress( to the point that he can hardly do his job ), you can no longer as a normal American ignore the profound problem of race in this country.

Barack and Michelle Obama: Were just beginning to see what this man and his wife together are going to do for the country. Photograph: Rebecca Blackwell/ AP

There are a lot of well-meaning white folks who for years could not assure the breadth of racism in America, so I feel that one of the gifts of Obamas presidency a perverse gift is the fact it allowed a sickness to bubble up to the surface, like a boil on the skin. You cant treat what you cant see. And now that we see it, maybe theres a chance to treat this racial sickness for good.

As for my feelings about Obama, the man himself, I think hes done a lot of positive things. He got dumped with an economy in freefall in 2009 but hes managed to turn it around. And his healthcare reforms were humongous, as big to me as stuff that Lyndon Johnson did back in the 60 s, like creating Medicare. Of course hes done things that I do not agree with. I have a problem with the failure to close Guantnamo, I have a problem with drone ten-strikes around the world. But youre never going to like everything that any chairwoman does. What Im not going to do is hold Obama to a higher standard, where he has to be a magical negro who is perfect. Hes have been able to build missteps.

I think were just beginning to see what this man and his wife together are going to do for the country. Hes done what he can within the office of the presidency, but now I think he could be like Jimmy Carter, who has done some unbelievable run since leaving office. Were just seeing the beginning of Obamas power as a human being. As told to Killian Fox

Hari Kunzru: His rhetorical ability soothed the terror induced by his blackness

Hari Kunzru: His clearest legacy is symbolic. Photograph: Murdo Macleod for the Observer

British novelist Hari Kunzru left London for New York eight years ago. He was the recipient of the Betty Trask prize( 2002) and the Somerset Maugham award( 2003) for his debut novel, The Impressionist . His 2011 fiction, Gods Without Men , led to the coining of the genre translit: fictions that cross history and geography without being historical nor changing clairvoyant place( New York Times ).

The clearest legacy of the Obama presidency is symbolic. Its hard for non-Americans( and, indeed , non-whites) to understand the clairvoyant blow dealt to the nativist right by the ascent of a black man to the White House. That part of the Republican base that abandoned the Democrat after the passage of the Civil Rights Act in 1964, and which has been so irresponsibly pandered by the party of Lincoln, took the news like medieval villagers witnessing an eclipse. Weve now expends eight years watching Republican congressmen scurrying hither and thither brandishing pitchforks, outraged at the latest whiff of terrorist fist-bumpery.

The obstructionist opposition to Obama arrived tricked out in 18 th-century Founders drag, bewigged and buckle-shoed. Ostensibly they were angry that the framers of the constitution were being traduced by a stoner Kenyan community organiser, yet beneath the surface, their grievances often turned out to be rooted in the eroding of the racial deference that has been expected in this country since the days when Jefferson and Washington toured their slave quarterss.

The presence of a black first family in the White House, the nations lifestyle fishbowl, is just as symbolically powerful as the sight of a black husband and father shouldering the position of the presidency. In their immaculate media presentation, the Obamas have communicated themselves to the readers of the kind of publications found in supermarket checkouts as a family whose dignity and essential decency are well sheathed in the necessary American armour of glamour. Whoever wins the presidency in November, the first spouse will command a fraction of the respect that Michelle Obama enjoys. The sight of the two Obama daughters, young black females growing up with limitless aspirations in a caring home, begs a replies from a country where the number one cause of death for black females aged 15 -3 4 is homicide by a current or former partner.

Many of the young people driving the Black Lives Matter movement came of age during the course of its Obama presidency, their political consciousness formed by the 2008 election. For them, Obama turned out to be more hope than change, and his failure to speak in a full-throated route in their supporting has felt like a disloyalty, but once the thick rind of symbolism has been peeled, the president has always been a cautious centrist Democrat with an instinct for consensus , not a man likely to align himself with the politics of black power.

The drone war is considered in many parts of the world the administrations signal moral catastrophe: a US Air Force MQ-1B Predator drone at a secret air base in the Persian Gulf: Photo: John Moore/ Getty Images

In policy terms, the Obama legacy is mixed. The passing of the Affordable Care Act has curbed some of the more egregious iniquities of the dysfunctional US healthcare system, but hundreds of thousands of Americans still go bankrupt every year because of medical bills. Eight years after the financial crisis, the president has succeeded in keeping the wheels on American capitalism, but once the dust settled, it became clear that the crash accelerated the transfer of wealth from the middle class to the very rich, an injustice he has done nothing to address.

Middle Eastern policy has been rudderless. There were, to be honest , no good options available after the squalid disaster of the Bush wars, but Obamas vacillation about involvement helped make the chaos in Libya and the vacuum in Syria so ruthlessly are used by Isis and the Russians. He let red lines to be crossed without sanction. The droning war, to reflect on many parts of the world as the administrations signal moral disaster, has carried on with little serious domestic opponent. The failure to close Guantnamo is, in the scheme of things, the least of these failures. Merely time will tell whether the vaunted Iran bargain renders a harvest of peace and stability.

And yet Obama will be missed. Sometimes, out of his extensive rhetorical tool kit, the president pulls a weird folksy tone, a subliminal suggestion of Merle Haggard, designed , no doubt, to soothe the terror induced by his blackness. Desperate as it is to go on a psychic vacation in the magical kingdom of the post-racial, America will discover that it was lucky to have had a figure capable of such virtuosic code-switching, a man who demonstrated that it was possible to communicate across the lines.

Jayne Anne Phillips: Only by being who he is he has made an enormous impact

Jayne Anne Phillips: Obama has been a stealth president.

Guggenheim fellow Jayne Anne Phillips won the 1980 Sue Kaufman award for first fiction when she was only 26, for her debut volume of tales, Black Tickets. Twenty-one years later, her novel MotherKind won the Massachusetts Book award. She is the holder of two National Endowment for the Arts fellowships.

Obama has been a transformational chairperson, and this may not become altogether clear until he leaves office. People forget that where reference is assumed the presidency in 2009, he was handed a financial tragedy in the making and his response to it genuinely saved the country, and possibly the world, from financial breakdown. But hes done so much more. In the two years in which he had a Democratic Congress, he passed the Affordable Care Act and supervised a $36 bn dollar expansion in Pell Grants, which very much affects students at Rutgers University-Newark, where I direct the MFA programme.

Obama has been a stealth chairperson. Hes had to be: six years of his presidency have been completely stymie by the Republican. But hes managed to change energy policy, improve medical care and academic criteria, he changed dont ask, dont tell in the military and influenced awareness of LGBTQ issues both legally and in popular culture. He went to Cuba, he went to Hiroshima. He has worked hard to fight climate change. Solar energy production has increased 30 -fold since he became chairwoman. Jobs in the solar industry have grown exponentially, and hes resulting their attempts to phase out injury hydrofluorocarbons being implemented in air conditioning. His presidency has accomplished so much of which citizens are not aware. He has embraced executive actions, unwilling to accept the stasis Congress embodies.

Then theres the whole leadership occurrence. He cant objective combating racism and sexism in America, but just by being who he is, hes made an enormous impact. I think he is truly a visionary who is uniquely qualified to serve. Hes a biracial African American human who grew up in a white household. He came from a background of law and community organising. Hes an absolutely wonderful orator: funny, elegant and humane.

Same-sex wedding advocates in front of the supreme court in Washington, DC. Photograph: Jewel Samad/ AFP/ Getty Images

I suppose its clear that Im a big Obama fan and that this election year has been a psychedelic nightmare. Its like going from the sublime to if Trump is actually elected the ridiculously dangerous. Its a very strange time in this country and we can only hope that Trump will continue to implode. Hillary Clinton is exceptionally qualified and I guess shed be a good chairperson; American sexism plays a huge its participation in her supposed unlikability. She might not be as inspiring as Obama, shes not cool or chic, but she is such a policy wonk, so prepared and careful. And constant. Her priorities infants, families, justice are the same after 30 years. Yet she is suspected because she has breached the establishment. Im simply praying shell win. If Trump wins, therell be a lot of people in America trying to marry Canadians.

Obama has been a inspiring and provocative leader. The fact that this is more or less the consensus around the world genuinely matters, because it means hes not vulnerable to the sniping and griping, to the ridiculous run low , no, go lower tone that Trump has set in this election. I dont suppose anything will change the fact that Obamas presidency marks an honourable few years in American history. He is Trumps polar opposite. What a country this is, to fostering and succour two such opposite cultural/ political beings. The best and the worst have moved further and further apart; we are a totally divided nation. Those paradise moments the very surprising 2008 Obama election, the crowds, the alliances, the decency, charm and intelligence of it all exist alongside all that we are today endure. Its a world that merely a 24 -hour news cycle could love. What will Trump do or say next? Like everything Trump touches, its all about him. But I digress.

Desperation and chaos are distracting. How dark will it get? Regardless, Obama is not going away. The America that elected him twice is not going away either. Like Elvis, that America has left the building. Hopefully it will reappear on election day.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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9 People Shed Their Clothes To Show The Beauty Of Body Diversity

What if the clich new year, new you was less about changing your body and more about accepting it?

Its a message that Now Toronto, an alternative weekly in Toronto, Canada, has been trying to spread with its Love Your Body issue. The annual issue, which is currently in its third year, features nude photos of local Torontonians who shed their clothes to show that the best New Years resolution is to love who you are at this very moment.

Its also the magazines first issue of each new year.

We felt that the first week of January is so oversaturated with messages about how dieting is the key to happiness, Tanja Tiziana, the photographer who snapped the issues gorgeous shots, told The Huffington Post. Everyone is suddenly on this social pressure to lose weight or change themselves in order to be better.But most people fail because these resolutions arent founded in love or acceptance of their life, body, age and personal challenges.Were just pushed to compare ourselves to some airbrushed model in a magazine.

The idea of this issue, Tiziana explained, is that change and growth are both good things, but they need to come from a place of love for ourselves and each other in order to last and be fulfilling.

Michelle Da Silva, an online news writer for the magazine, also thinks the issue is about how beauty and strength come in all shapes and sizes.

All bodies deserve to be celebrated, she told HuffPost. I want people to see that our bodies tell stories about our past, but also, who we are isnt limited to the skin were in.

Each year Now Toronto puts out a call for volunteers who would be interested in posing nude and talking about their relationship with their body. Then the magazines editorial staff tries to come up with a diverse group of people with different things to share.

Tiziana told HuffPost that this years group left her with a renewed sense of gratitude after working with each one. Here are this years models:

Heidi Hawkins

Tanja-Tiziana/Now Magazine

Hawkins, a mother and voice-over actor, used her photo shoot to explore how pregnancy changed her body and how she views that change.

My body is completely different. I dont have time to work out or shave my legs. I dont really have time to take care of myself, but I think Im like 90 percent of women who had babies in the last couple of years. I now have cellulite, a stretchy belly and lopsided breasts from breastfeeding, but Im proud of it in a strange way.

Catherine Hernandez

Tanja-Tiziana/Now Magazine

Hernandez, an author, was diagnosed with two chronic illnesses last year. She used her photo shoot to speak about learning to love and listen to her body.

During the height of my sickness, I would write love letters to my body and post them up. Like, Dear Body. My beautiful Body. I am so sorry that I starved you. Im so sorry that I made you work when you didnt want to work. Im sorry that I pushed you hard when I shouldnt have. I should have just listened to you. And Im listening to you now.

Prince Amponsah

Tanja-Tiziana/Now Magazine

Amponsah, an actor, social worker and student at Ryerson University, was severely burned in a fire four years ago. At first, he had some reservations about jumping back into acting after the incident, but decided to chuck his fears in order to do what he loves.

I couldnt see myself going back to acting because I didnt feel I had a place there, he told the magazine. You dont see a lot of people who look like me on the stage or on the screen, and sometimes you need those kinds of role models to see yourself, to feel like you can be a part of it.

Jewelz Mazzei

Tanja-Tiziana/Now Magazine

Mazzei, a body activist and model, spoke to the magazine about how the body-positivity community on Instagram has changed her life.

I never see people like me in the media, and I know that if I had seen models who looked like me growing up, it may have been a bit easier to accept myself. I felt like it wasnt fair for me to love myself and not help other people, because I know what it feels like to wake up everyday and not feel okay.

She then added:

There are still so many people out there who believe they dont deserve to love themselves unless they look a certain way. I want to keep fighting for them and keep spreading the message of self-love.

Ted Hallett

Tanja-Tiziana/Now Magazine

Hallett, an improviser and writer, was diagnosed with kidney cancer a year ago. He received a large scar from the center of his rib cage to his right thigh due to surgery. He talked to the magazine about how facing death has allowed him to not sweat the small stuff.

I yield to the stuff I have no control over. As I get older, I give less of a shit about what people think. That includes what I look like. My body is my body, and Im cool with that.

Jasbina Justice

Tanja-Tiziana/Now Magazine

Justice, an activist, yoga teacher, coordinator and performer with feminist porn company Spit, used the photo shoot to expose what she sees as her true self.

When Ive done other things where Ive been nude, its more about performance performing sexuality, looking desirable or Ive been shown alongside other people. Here, I wanted to hold myself accountable to the work Ive done, taking a step toward embracing my body, sharing my story, holding myself up in a really vulnerable way.

Paul Lancaric

Tanja-Tiziana/Now Magazine

Lancaric, a voice-over artist, talked to the magazine about how visiting and frequenting nude beaches made him more confident about his body and work.

There have been times when my voice-over work has had me sitting in a closet recording audiobooks of erotic novels, and I didnt feel comfortable taking on those jobs until after my experiences with nude beaches and naturism, he said. It definitely connected to feeling confident enough to sit in a closet and read lurid passages about various body parts without laughing or giggling. Those books would have taken forever to record if that happened.

Monique Mojica

Tanja-Tiziana/Now Magazine

Mojica, an actor, playwright and artistic director at the Chocolate Woman Collective, is also of Kuna and Rappahannock descent. The 68-year-old decided to tie her photo shoot experience into her culture and anger over Standing Rock.

This shoot allowed me to take a big gulp and ask, Where is the celebration? Where is the reclamation? I thought about the women who were dancing and singing and praying in the face of volleys of tear gas, she told the magazine.

She then added:

So, for the shoot, I made it sacred to honor those women who are standing with their arms up. I thought, I am going to sing and dance and pray.

Acacia Christensen

Tanja-Tiziana/Now Magazine

Christensen, a female wrestler, talks about how her body gives her all kinds of strength.

When Im wrestling, thats a good [self-esteem] day. I look the least conventionally attractive when I wrestle, but Im like, This fits. Im dressed like a cartoon character and nobody can say anything about it, she said. I found out about the League of Lady Wrestlers and was asked to join, and somehow Ive become one of the draws. I decided to be the big, fat monster character. Making people boo you is weirdly powerful, and almost more gratifying than trying to get them to like you.

She also added:

I was training in Texas and went to pick up this guy for a power slam. He was like, Youre throwing me effortlessly! A dude might be twice my size and ripped, but I can knock him down because of my build. Im short and have a low center of gravity and Im really hard to move.

To see all the models, check out Now Torontos full story here.

Read more: http://huff.to/2idbhu1

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