#most of the transmisogyny ive experienced personally has been at the hands of trans men. the reason our language excludes you is because

[scottish-valkyrie]

I've been told repeatedly to stop over-defending myself, to not litigate everything I do because it makes me look more guilty. And it is mindblowingly frustrating because they have no understanding that for trans women that is the ONLY option. If we leave our actions up to interpretation, it guarantees that it'll be interpreted as malice, as sexual deviance, and with as poor faith as possible. If I and other trans women let you guess to our motivations there's a good chance we end up with a black spot that has us excommunicated from that social group, because TME are more than willing to pass around 'warnings' about the strange and deviant tranny. They do it for their own safety of course, to ensure everyone is on the same page, and suddenly the trans woman who was surrounded by friends is now left feeling cold and alone. And she either realises and leaves, or is made to feel like a leper in the group.

But the thing TMEs don't get is how little justification it takes. For me it was one post with an opinion one friend of a friend didn't agree with. She brought a jury of my friends to a public trial and then after I defended myself, they blamed me for not working to bridge the gap after an ad hominem attack.

Every trans woman I have ever met has had this happen to them, we all have a story of one dumb joke, one awkward interaction. Some miscommunication about the name of a pillow because the other person automatically assumed the worst of them, and they're gone. Iced out and left to die alone. Is it any wonder we hide amongst ourselves