#most of my worst thoughts get dumped in my text convo with my best friend but i will now be subjecting you all to them as well

[notascammer]

For how long I’ve been on this godforsaken app (almost 10 years) this is an embarrassingly low post count. From now on expect at least 5 wretched posts a day (including some reblogs of my teenage bullshit)

[theleftoverurl]

So let’s recap the past couple of days because I haven’t for a while I suppose haha.

Had a marathon convo with Nemoss that went from 9am on Monday to 8am on Tuesday rip and because of that I’m currently operating on 1h sleep but I haven’t really felt very tired yet and I think mostly I’m okay, surprisingly.

So this week is the start of like hell study week jam all the notes into your brain type thing but for some reason I don’t feel particularly stressed about it. I have 112 pages of notes to learn so I’m hoping that the stress kicks in soon. I spent most of Monday morning killing time by playing on my phone and pretending to study. I made a study plan and that’s it.

Then at 1pm I got ready for hospy, grabbed a Turkish melt (yom) and found Kate and friends in Dino. They were going to Coog cos it was pretty hot so I waited for them to get ready and walked with them half the way so I could go to hospy. Time to do my SOCA! I was sort of nervous because I it’s a catchup SOCA to make up for the fact that I fucked up the Effective Communications cap so I felt like I had to make it count but didn’t want to be nervous because I felt that would affect my communication with the patient? I like did a quick recap of the history via Google and then met George my assessor. He was super nice and we went to the cardio ward to do it. The first two patients were busy and I almost had to interview a prisoner (which I was not ready to do lol) but luckily the prisoner was asleep. He was with two policemen and I was made really uncomfortable because as a joke when we asked if we could interview him one of the policemen offered to kick him awake and then when he saw our like shocked faces was like “I was joking” quickly and then like laughed but I felt it was awkward because being mean to a sick patient, prisoner or not is kinda rude? Anyway I had the best luck because I ended up interviewing a patient who was a retired nurse so she like knew what I was trying to ask with the history and could fill in gaps when I forgot to ask about things with useful information and she was super friendly so rapport was good. It was probably the most perfect history I’ve ever done, like structure good and everything and it was definitely what I needed to like boost my confidence about the whole situation and remember why I wanna do med and stuff. George was pretty impressed too so I P+-sed my way through the assessment lol. He did say I should’ve been more like relevant with my questions about presenting complaint though, because she was in for breathlessness and I didn’t pick up that that’s a sign of heart failure so didn’t really ask about related symptoms to heart failure. But overall, it was a good history and I was proud of it.

Then I headed up to Edmund Blackett to attend my actual hospital session. We had this nice girl called Emily running the session and she took us to this patient who had serious scoliosis. It was good to practice the hand exam with my newfound confidence and I feel like I really got a lot out of the whole thing. Hei Wai’s history was a bit stilted but it was actually quite good and just the whole thing was good because it’s renewed my confidence for the OSCEs kind of at a good time I feel.

Then I rushed back to college to borrow a charger off Hamish because mine broke and grab Rid’s textbook before tutoring. Tutoring was pretty fun we were doing polynomial division which is fun to like go through the process. Me and Rid both made a stupid mistake with one of the questions and I got so confused lol but overall it was a really good lesson and I really am feeling the bond between myself and all my kids which is just so hard when I think about dropping them next year.

Then on a whim when I got back I thought I’d study on Floor 7 for some company to see if any of my friends were around. It was windy af but stinking hot and Max was holed away in the stuffy stuffy study room but I joined him for like 30min of studs before STUVAC supper! Because it’s official uni study week, Dino feeds us like supper for Mon-Fri this week and J&D do free coffees and honestly it was so lit. Brownies and fresh fruit (for once) and I ripped my undies by deciding I’d drink a large mocha. I knew the coffee would fuck me up but I was just excited about free coffee and toasties and ham and I was talking to Nemo anyway so figured I wouldn’t be like up and insomniac alone. Kate and Vron were there and we actually chilled at supper for a bit because Kate’s finished for the year so she’s so calm and like chill now – like it’s actually a bit freaky how noticeable the difference is when she doesn’t have a single stress cos uni’s over for her. Vron was saying how she needs to sell her clothes cos she’s so poor and I wanted her like nice conservative clothes for hospy so I was like YASSS I’ll come to your room and look.

So we went to hers and I put aside a potential buy pile and she’s gonna bring up more clothes for me to browse next time she comes back from Tamworth. Then we marched up to Kate’s room so I could relieve her of some clothes. I don’t even need more clothes I have plenty I just wanted to cheaply boost my wardrobe and chill with the two of them and procrastinate I reckon. Linley and Hadeel and Nicky G and Claudia joined us in Kate’s room eventually and it was like a whole party!

Eventually we drifted to the commo and I did some actual work but it was getting pretty late by now so I only got through a couple of lectures. Also my computer just blinked out and died and I freaked the fuck out inside a little bit and had to make my notes off Edward Rose’s notes (which I actually think I may prefer doing now anyway lol) but yeah so it took a bit longer. And so I was texting Nemoss about euthanasia ethics because I wanted to show off my tute and I can’t believe he doesn’t like ethics and philosophy cos I feel like we talk that sorta stuff all the time and I was talking just generally to Max and Claudia and Nick and it was such a good time and then we drifted to Claudia’s room and suddenly it was 3am and we were talking some serious shit about annoying people at college (which was really funny because we all agree but can never say) and about how state laws are stupid and some should be federal etc. and then suddenly it was 3:30am and Clauds had fallen asleep with the light on so we thought we should vacate her room and everyone decided to go to bed.

I was still riding my coffee high and had Nemoss so headed back to my floor and omg Riley had vomited all down the corridor. It smelt terrible and he must’ve vomited like 3x down the corridor at least because it reeked and like in a patchy kinda way too. And then I see Riley and I swear I have never seen someone look so fucked in his life he was white as a ghost his eyes were starey and red and he was shirtless holding his shirt in a crumple and there were literally drips of vom dripping off his shirt-ball onto the floor in front of the bathroom. It was disgusting. And he stared at me blankly and then was like ‘Georgia’ and I was like gonna spew from the smell and I was sleep-deprived and like I don’t really like Riley and I was just like rip rip rip I’m gonna bed so I left him to deal with his shit.

His vom was so strong I could smell it from inside my room with the door closed so it was a huge rip. Anyway by then it was getting kinda late to sleep because I had to get up early to meet corky for brekky so I thought I’d just rough it and stay up and like watch my caffeine doses and like crash sometime tomorrow so I was up chilling with Nemoss by phone till 8am when I crashed for an hour.

Corky woke me up by texting me 40min later to see if I was awake to get ready to go to brekky and she’d even researched the bus I had to take and everything I was like wtf. So I dragged myself outta bed and had to shower on the 4th floor because the 5th floor still reeked like shit and I wasn’t entering that bathroom if my life depended on it. 4th floor water pressure is probably the worst in all of college, I discovered, so after an unsatisfactory shower I grabbed my wallet dumped mascara on and dragged myself on a bus to Centennial park.

Queen’s Park Shed was where we ate and it was actually like very small and quaint, not at all what I expected for some reason but it was nice and had just like chill picnic in the park vibes. Corky and I had granola with poached pear and berries and it was like clearly overpriced for $12 for like a bit of muesli, yoghurt and sparse berries but it was healthy, filling and yummy so oh well. I also medicated with a coffee and I reckon that’s why I’ve made it so far tbh. Corky and I had good chats because I haven’t seen her in ages and she was like not as stressed about uni work as usual because she’d purposely like written time off study so we could hang out. It was really really good to catch up and we talked from 10am to 2:30pm in our procrastination type catchup and it was so good we probs would’ve kept talking except I had to get to class by 3 lol.

SG was boring af we watched 2 videos on like bereavement and palliative care. The first was just an explanation of palliative care and the second was following the life of this irish man who had a large stomach sarcoma and was going to die. It was quite emotional but there wasn’t much like discussion on it and as soon as the vids were over we were pretty much allowed to leave. I was so bored and like not coping (but not tired yet, weird) so I let Kuheli like read texts on my phone and it was kind of weird breaching my own privacy like that but at the same time not really caring because I’m just at that stage in my life where I’m really open cos I don’t give like a shit about anything.

After SG we wasted time with Fenton and Nguyen for awhile then Kuheli dragged me to the coffee cart cos she wanted tea. I stayed well away from that coffee cart because I wanted my sleep tonight thank you very much but considering it’s now 1:30am and I haven’t slept it’s all quite moot, isn’t it? And then I bussed off to tutoring with Ella. Kuheli walked me to the busstop which was nice and I almost crashed on the bus but by that time I was dangerously close to my stop so managed to stay awake. Tutoring Ella woke me up too. We made use of the NRICH site link I stole off Wayne when I used to tutor him and we started doing some problem solving. We were only doing extension Year 5 problem solving and she’s year 7 but I felt that like it was easy enough to ease her into the concepts and yet there were still some things which confused her so I think it was a good level to start and maybe we will build on it next time and go a bit up idk. HOWEVER her exams are coming up so I can’t get distracted by my get her to problem solve goals cos she really has to revise all her topics to do well and pass her test like as first priority. Anyway it was nice session and afterwards her Dad dropped me back at Churchies like right near uni so I didn’t have to bus which was so so so fantastic.

I went up to floor 7 because I think whilst I’m studying I should make the most of people being around and soak up some company too and Linley was studying in the study room. I got a decent amount done, but I’ve lost a lotta time due to wasting time on Monday and having breakfast with Courteney like all day today so I’m still behind but not too stressed. Headed down to floor supper and cos I didn’t have lunch or dinner I like went ham and had a double cheese and ham toastie, 2 donuts and fruit and it was honestly so lit. Stayed away from the coffee again though cos I ain’t that mad.

Then back up to the study room and honestly just threw myself into it. Like Max, Claudia and Nicky G were in and out I think but I honestly can’t say what was going on I was so focused. Kate popped in as well and I think her like meeting with Hugh didn’t go great but it was never going to so at least she was a bit prepared? Idk then we moved to the commo again and the chill cycle is repeating again as we speak with the same people. Hamish has lent me his charger again tonight thank god so I have my phone and now that I’ve successfully (and lengthily) recapped the past like idk 48 hours or so, I can head back for some chats before bed. Hopefully I can find the balance between sleep and chills but idk even if I don’t I just don’t wanna rek myself too much. There’s always a bit of coffee tho tomorrow idk.

Off to Woollahra library all day cos I wanna try a change of scene but also wanna get a lot done so should be like nice to go somewhere slightly different to hang for once. Kk that’s all for now, I know this is quite badly written but I don’t have the cognitive function to like fix it up or write it properly or anything on my limited sleep right now, so it will have to do. Till another day J