#most normal system ever
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not being able to read the most recent reputable article on the financial crisis unfolding in the us bc i dont pay the newspapers stupid monthly subscription
#FUCK the washington post#opening the page to the slogan at the top being 'democracy dies in darkness' while i am unable to read the article bc of money#like yeah damn it sure does huh#most normal system ever#yeah this is about the silicon valley bank situation#i just wanna read about bidens response without it being fox news or reddit saying that apparently this is a ploy for governmental control#or that bidens being soft on the 'woke' bank#woke....... bank................. uh huh#like can you tell me how hes bailing out the banks so that i can dunk on his ass for other reasons#namely bailing out the fucking bank :)
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putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023
#apollo don't fucking touch this one#serious post#not a shitpost#hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day#fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists#i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it.#so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you?#what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown#at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal#i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid#like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies#and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line#probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored#luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap!#watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry#while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent#also eggs are $15
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honestly, re: my last reblog, but it's so funny to me how unbearably annoying humans in mass effect are, like you guys!!!!! calm down!!! you JUST arrived!!! maybe take in your surroundings for 5 seconds before declaring you should be treated like the most special princesses of all and have all the advantages ever without any drawback and be recognized as the supreme leaders who have all the clarity and drive and righteousness to solve everything and be the victims of everyone's envy and meanness and the ultimate heroes who will save everyone in spite of themselves...... 😔😔😔
#thoughts#mass effect#honestly though it's VERY realistic#it's probably the most realistic portrayal of how ego-driven humans would be in a first contact scenario I've ever seen haha#but gggod you guys are SO annoying!!!!#it's why I've never been fully onboard with anderson for example#this guy is so humanity-patriotic to the point of completely “dehumanizing” a lot of the aliens he meets#especially in the novels#not to say it's normal that only 3 species are at the top making decisions#and the democratic system of that society is fucking busted like it's an actual joke#but humans don't seek to fix that and make it more fair#they don't ally with voluses and hanar and elcor and vorchas and batarians and krogans to make a democratic coalition#no they're like ????? but?? but me???? but I'M special????????#but ME deserve to be on top??????#not questioning the system but just being like “okay how can I climb on top and become the ultimate girlboss of space aliens”
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Ok im Very sleepy rn it's 2 am bare with me
What do we think Jon would think of How The fandom sees him? And I don't mean this in a pedantic "oh fandom bad because dumbed down and Insert Petty Headcanon Disagreement"
I mean this entirely in a "How would Jon, The man who believes himself to be an Irredeemable monster who is to blame for everything that ever went wrong, react to Just so so many people listening to his shortcommings and ultimately seeing his side"
Like yeah everyone agrees he's kind of an asshole sometimes but he is so beloved by The fans?
I'm sure some people did but I've never seen anyone doubting his humanity or blaming him for the horrors™ he Just clearly understood as his fault? Like yeah Martin tried telling him it wasn't but what I'm getting at is
I love to think about what Jon would do If he saw just the ocean of people who listened to (what he considers to be)
the most unsympathetic person in the world becoming a monster and making choices that brought the literal apocalypse upon humanity
and pretty much everyone saying "he did the best anyone could reasonably expect and he is not a bad person for being caught in the crossfire of an impossible situation with no good solutions"
remember that time in mag 187 a lady grabbed jon in fear and he shouted and presumably pushed her away? and everyone and their mother defended jon's humanity because that was a textbook trauma response i think he would break down crying if he saw that
#this was brought to you by my sleep deprived brain#im just im like just#everyone is always mad at him for not taking enought initiative or sulking or making decisions for others#and i love him so much#he is probably the character that makes me the most un-normal he is Masterfully written#And he hates himself so much and so many people in podcast feed his insecurities back to him#It makes sense they're all hurt and he doesn't always make the best decisions.#there's nothing he can do to make it right enought by other people#and everyone thinks he is doing a bad job at being an unwilling participant of this fucked up power system#again it makes SENSE they didn't ask for that either and jon is the mascot of the eye#he is both a scapegoat and a sacrificial lamb#if jonah that crusty old man ever did anything truky smart it was making jon eldritch middle management#like yeah everyone hates him more but most of the time he is untouchable so jon tajes all the heat#wich helps isolating him more and making it easier to manipulate him#everyone praised or at least had some resigned respect for gertrude and her actions. but that's because she is almost imaginary to them#the characters obsviously don't enjoy being in the middle of this either and jon is the only one with some form of real power there#(that's more or less on their side at least)#ough#yeaouh#nnahoughh even#we we criticize jon from time to time#but i really love that most people are willing to fight tooth and nail to defend him#he is just such a human character and despiste everything that happens he is so very clearly just a person who is trying#the character ever#all I'm saying is i would like to know how jon would react to not one not two#but thousands of people who are able to see him and understand he shouldn't to be a perfect victim#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims
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Family and the Institution of Alice Academy
Was thinking about this ever since someone (I forgot specifically who, sorry) posed a question like this in the GA discord, asking about (I think) Natsume's extended family or something like that. It was a really interesting concept that I've been thinking a lot about since it was brought up, so here are the thoughts I've accumulated. I'll try to be concise but I have a LOT of thoughts and my brain is messy.
My general opinion at the end of all this thinking I did is that I don't think Academy students typically have very close familial ties after graduating.
I think the most apparent reason for that would be that students are expected to graduate when they are twenty years old. Our main four are exceptions to the rule, coming to the Academy pretty late in life. Most children are taken early, as toddlers or even babies. Natsume, Ruka, and Hotaru's families did all they could to avoid Academy scouting. Mikan was entirely accidental--if she had never met Hotaru, she might have never even found out she was an Alice to begin with. That being said, most kids were separated from their families at a very young age, only to be allowed to reunite with them once they're already adults. For many students, they've been away from their parents for close to two decades.
On top of that, the Academy doesn't allow visitations or phone calls and severely restricts letter communications. Only one child from each class is allowed to return home for one week each year, and that one week does not do much to make up for all the time spent at school.
My point is that by the time students are allowed to see their families again, that familial bond has already been severed, for all intents and purposes. That feeling of closeness and protection no longer exists. Students will feel more closeness and connection to their classmates and even to their teachers than to their parents or siblings, and as a result, I can imagine many graduates not even bothering to visit their families.
While I was pondering this, I made the connection between Academy students and the real life example of a similar situation with Janissaries from the Ottoman Empire. Basically, Janissaries were children stolen from the subjugated people under Ottoman rule. They were taken for the purpose of a "child levy", also known as a "blood tax." Some children were even willingly given by their families due to the possibility of socially advancing, and because the children were promised first class status (sound familiar?). Essentially the children were taken, forced to comply with Ottoman standards and traditions (including forced conversions and circumcisions), and then trained for military service. These soldiers would actually end up being incredibly loyal and efficient, despite likely never seeing their families again.
(Edit: forced circumcisions are particularly heinous when you consider that the children were typically at least 10 years old at the time they were taken.... so.... uh.... not pleasant.... But also interesting that the Janissaries were typically much older than the Alice children at the time of being taken.)
That level of separation doesn't endear ties; it severs them. These Janissaries--very often forcefully taken from their families--ended up growing up with very little connection to their parents or siblings. The feeling of belonging to their previous communities was gone. Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder. This was done as a means of creating a strong military force but also to disillusion subjugated communities and tear away their hope. Their children could always be taken; their communities could always be crushed, even without the use of physical force. It's a very effective tool to oppress a group of people.
(There's actually a lot of similarities between Academy children and Janissaries beside the separation of children from their families. They were also paid for their service and were high ranking; the Academy students are given an allowance and many of them, despite being stolen from their families, have a sense of superiority over non-Alices. They feel like they are treasures, and are of higher value and rank. Additionally, Academy students, especially in the DA class, are highly trained and efficient child soldiers, much like the Janissaries. Janissaries are actually a super interesting historical topic and are worth looking into!)
We can even see the effect of this distance when Yuka escapes the Academy and runs away to her family. Yuka was essentially sold to the Academy, with her parents trading her in exchange for money and status. She was very young, far too young to really understand that her parents had abandoned her. As a result, she romanticized her bond with them, and the longer she was separated from them, the more that bond became fantastical. She made many attempts to escape the school to reunite with her parents and she fantasized about seeing them again. When she finally is able to, it's nothing like she imagined. They're cold, and unfamiliar. They don't recognize her. She doesn't know her brothers. They're related, but there's no real connection.
"I shouldn't have come here."
Yuka's is an extreme example, but I'm sure she's not an exception. For most Academy students, the almost 20 years of separation from their parents would be too much to ignore. They would not recognize each other, or be close. I'm sure many parents did not sell their children like Yuka's family did, but the bond between child and family had not been nurtured the way it should have been, resulting in coldness and distance.
Because of that, I doubt most students even bother seeking their families out, or even if they do, it's to visit a few times before starting a new life with a career. That familial bond, now broken, is difficult to repair. The connections people often feel with their families or hometowns is something Academy students instead feel with each other. They are all Alices, all in the same boat together. That feeling of superiority that many kids feel means they view each other as on the same level, and I'm sure that could interfere with family connection as well.
Thus, I don't think there's many multigenerational Alice families out there with close bonds. I don't think families like Natsume's have strong ties with grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. Even the sibling bonds at the Academy are stunted, with the Imai and Shouda siblings being the prime examples of that.
The Imai siblings have a significant age difference, yes, but additionally the Imai parents had a very different approach to Hotaru after seeing what happened with Subaru. They refused to hand her over as easily, wanting to show her important things in life and build happy memories for as long as they could. Even when Hotaru does enter the school, it's more than six months before she even comes across her brother, since the high school and elementary school are not integrated with each other and they do not belong to the same ability class. Similarly, the Shouda siblings are in different ability classes but they have a much smaller age gap. Despite this, Sumire refers to her brother very respectfully, indicating that there isn't a particular closeness.
The Imais fight against this divide, and put in genuine effort into rebuilding their relationship, but it's a difficult process, and one they struggle to admit to for a long time and for various reasons. Familial closeness is not encouraged, not even within the Academy.
(Though Natsume's bond with Aoi is exploited and the school does rely on him caring for her to take advantage of him, but ultimately he is kept from seeing her. Thus, that bond is also severed despite being exploited.)
Additionally, it would make sense to me if many Alice graduates decided to, upon having children, avoid scouting, like Natsume's parents did, and thus ended up moving around a lot to escape Academy notice. Moving around like that and laying low means that you're not going to be hosting huge family reunions or inviting relatives over often, even if all the other points were moot.
Finally, I think all this creates further obstacles for Yuka's wish to "have a family." At some point she says that, for normal people, the desire to settle down with someone and start a family is a pretty modest goal, but for Alices it's almost impossible. Escaping from the school, or even graduating, is a struggle. And you can have a kid, but it's likely that child will be taken from you, just as you were taken, and by the time the child graduates, they will have no connection with you. Wanting to be a potential grandparent, for example, might seem like a definite impossibility, since being a real parent is impossible.
It's even more proof that the Academy exists as an institution to subjugate and undermine Alices, as children and then as parents. Ultimately, an Alice never has control, not as a child and not even as an adult. The pain doesn't end once you've graduated; in fact, it never does.
#gakuen alice#ga#my meta#ga meta#azumi yuka#hyuuga natsume#alice academy#yes there are kids who lose their alices and thus leave early#i think those kids might find more luck reestablishing familial bonds#also there seem to be a few powerful and intergenerational families within the alice system#but those families seem rather to be in control of the school... theyd be the puppetmasters essentially#and thus might not be as victimized as normal families like natsume's.... he clearly has no power or control in the alice world AT ALL.#so yes i think those big and powerful families are exceptionally rare and thus not as relevant to this post#theyre not 'subjugated' like most other alice families are... idk how else to phrase that#feel free to hmu with ur thoughts on this topic! its super fascinating to me as yet another example of the academys many atrocities#and one i hadnt even properly thought of to this degree until recently!#its so very fun to discover and consider new aspects of ga lore or implications in the story! i love it so much!#i just cant see myself ever getting tired of analyzing this manga#i didnt actually narrow in on any one character but yuka seems to be the best example of my points so i focus on her the most#if u want we can talk abt other characters and families and discuss how the academy affected those bonds!#what an interesting concept.... im having a blast thinking abt all this rn
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ALSO the unforgivable sin of normalizing tiktok coffee orders. they should be killed on sight for that alone how fuckgin DARE they
#when ppl ordered a tiktok drink i would charge them for all the extra add ons for making me make the most obnoxious beverage on earth#where as normally if i wasnt being monitored i wouldnt charge ppl for any extras ever even tho the system told me to lol#tiktok tax......
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’why is taylor friends with the mahomes when brittany isn’t nice to her and also they support trump’ she knows that. both of these things. she’s just not letting the bully her out of their group of friends that’s also hers and actually existing around people who see politics differently to you is the most effective way to help them soften towards seeing things another way when they realise you’re just as human too
#of course it doesn’t mean you have to put yourself through spending time with shitty people#but I’m seeing people say she doesn’t know what brittany tweets and I highly doubt that#girlie knows how to play the high school social systems and unfortunately when you’re famous being in your 30s is still Like That#and also for a billionaire to support people who don’t build their policies on protecting your privilege? ik we don’t like billionaires but#just think for a moment what it must look like to see if you’re also a billionaire because some of them are gonna think she’s insane for it#either way hanging out in the same circles with someone doesn’t mean you condone everything they do#and in the event where she’s oblivious and thinks they’re genuinely friends or a number of other scenarios?#she’s still a grown woman who can make her own decisions and does have people around her should a backstabbing event occur#but I want to reiterate my last point again. the only reason people are so right wing is because they don’t ever meet normal people#and consider the needs of like. most of the population#so anyone who can stand to break into their bubble and stay themselves is actually doing more good than we realise#and there’s more to be said about *other causes* but just like her post was targeted at potential swing voters#the reason she knows these people so well to be able ro target rhem is that she does have some overlapping circles with them#and weeding that out does more of a disservice to activism. no comment on the impact on her (or your) mental health#but keep that in mind when you don’t know whether the people you hang out with are good people all the time#taylor swift#brittany mahomes#patrick mahomes#usamerican politics#anti purity culture
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trying to find any sort of treatment for EDs is genuinely the most maddening experience on earth because the government won’t fund it unless you’re under x bmi but all the private treatment programs are like ‘take two weeks off work and pay 5k a day to ride horses’ or they’re just not taking patients
#hands down the most insane position ohip has ever put me in#was attempting to restrict down past the eligable bmi#so they’d take me#public healthcare is higher quality than private do not let people lie to you#the issue here is that anything psych related does not fall under public except in really limited circumstances#so all the resources go to private#you can make good money in private psych so good doctors go there#& anyone who can afford it also goes there so the government doesnt feel pressure to improve the public system#however the fact remains the public psych system is an exercise in madness#it should be like public where you can just idk. get a referral within a normal amount of time#to a person who operates within hours that don’t require you to quit your job
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Being self aware is literally hell I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
#diary#god I could rant about about this forever#tw mentions of assault in the tags dont read if that makes u uncomfortable#im kinda getting tired of people asking why i dont date 🤩 it sends me into a mental spiral hahahaaaaa#i just tell people im not looking for anything serious rn but its a big fat fucking lie because i DO want to date#but i think my nervous system is so shot from living with my dad still and he can be so emotionally abusive it's insane#it makes me not trust my judgement because shitty behavior is so normalized and i KNOW whats Right and Wrong but im so used to keeping the–#–peace because its a survival tactic for me and always has been#like when people like me i think one of two things usually:#1) they're genuinely interested in me and i hate myself so much i cant understand why anyone would like me#or 2) theyre interested in me for my body which is both easier to understand and terrifying because people in the past have hurt me because–#–they wanted to be with me. read between the lines for that one#because of how i grew up and what I've experienced i genuinely do not trust people. i trust no one fully and it kills me#i feel so fucking guilty all the time bc most people arent out to get you but that wasn't the case for me#i feel like i cant grow as a person because im stuck in a survival mindset. i KNOW why I people please and i hate it#i genuinely do love people and i want the best for them but its also ingrained into my head that if something is wrong it's My Fault#and there will be Consequences#back to dating though#there are so many reasons I do and dont want to date#i call myself a Helpless Romantic because there's no way I'll be dating in the near future. i cant just go on dates I have to know you for–#–a while and build trust. but what if it ends badly and im the idiot who cant take a goddamn hint and realise love isnt meant for someone–#–like me?#i grew up knowing my parents hated each other and “stayed together for the kids” whatever thet means. like that fucks with your mind#seeing my mom being mistreated by my dad made me snap out of the disney movie princess x prince charming daze everyone else was in as a kid#i realised very early on that relationships won't save you and can actually be the worst thing to ever happen to someone#theres more to this but ive already said enough lol. anyway
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The dog is acting a little funny so I had to stay home cos my anxiety is through the roof about it
#it’s 99% probably nothing#like not vet worthy at all#he just eats things he shouldn’t and also has the most sensitive digestive system I’ve ever seen#so he gets sick#the four dogs we had die weirdly and/or run away in like an 18 month period are outliers and shouldn’t be counted#and yet#anyway now idk what to have for dinner because we usually do dinner at my brothers games on Fridays#so now I either have to find something to get delivered for a ridiculous price#or wait until like 9:30-10 for what will probably be McDonald’s because nothing else is open#he’s just gonna nap until everyone gets home and then act like the crack head he normally is and I’m gonna feel stupid about it but anyway
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sometimes i look at my life and go "ah. nothing about this is normal"
#i don't mean this in a negative way nor in a not like other girls way ig. just stating a fact#at no point in my life was i ever in a normative or common situation for a person my age#i mean right from the get go. my family situation. while not unheard of is still rare to the point it confuses most ppl i meet#at school i always had smth different from an average kid my age#and after that i dropped out and didn't go to the army. yeah that's also not really normal (in my country)#ig the last time i was in a normal system as a normal kid was in kindergarten lol#and y'all already know i don't have any milestone ppl my age usually have either. so i am definitely not helping my case#i am the most boring abnormal guy fr fr 😩
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people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh
(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)
#people really out here acting like some chocolate is gonna kill you#idk maybe you should check how stats and data actually work and not just blindly trust things that get it wrong and such#because hate to break it to ya but increased risk does not equal absolute risk#it just increases the risk which is normally only by a small margin and doesnt mean anything in reality because it doesn't mean that it's#absolutely 100% going to happen that's not what risk or increased risk means#anyway this reminds of when a friend of mine took part in a study#and they were like oh yeah you have a 6% chance of a heart attack in the next 10 years#they asked if they lost weight would that decrease by a lot and the person was like uhh by like 1% it's really not the big deal everyone#makes it out to be people are just fatphobic because that's the society we've built that at all times you must be skinny#or you aren't worth anything or worse when people act like you're such a strain on the system#and that you dont deserve to have healthcare like i will scream#everyone needs to stop being so damn weird about it!!!!!!!!!!#it's literally fine it's so literally fine#you know actually thinking about increased risk with alcohol and smoking - to which is totally your choice and up to you btw#i knew someone who smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish and lived to his 70s and died of something completely unrelated#increased risk is just that increased by a certain percentage which is like not a lot in the grand scheme of things to really put it into#perspective when you have like 1 in 100 chance and the increased risk is 100% that just raises it to 2 in 100 which yes is just 1% to 2%#i will scream when people act like food is going to kill you - especially when it gets so bad people act like fruit is bad for you because#of sugar like i will cry i will start sobbing because all of this is why im pretty sure most people have disordered eating#if not full on eating disorders and that's the real concern how our attitudes make people change their behaviours and develop mental health#conditions because society is just so insistent on this one issue that you can't escape it's bad it's so bad and i hope one day#we get past all this and people can just live how they want without others getting on their backs#fatphobic people are the reason why so many people i know think they're worthless and ugly and i just that's so upsetting to me and yes yes#there's the major issues like doctors ignoring symptoms in favour of just lose weight! and then just send people into the world with 0 help#in that oh and oops now they've got an eating disorder when the problem in the first place was not weight <.<#and even if it was (which it rarely ever is) it's like okay where's the help then because there is no help and then study after study is#like oh btw dieting doesnt work lol and then what do you do what do you do im gonna start screaming hdfghsdfg#anyway sorry these tags are long im just so tired and so frustrated at the world and i hope one day people get over themselves
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rough childhood headcanon qs / @clxscdeyes / no longer accepting !
╰┈➤ 7 . how old was your muse when they realized they had childhood trauma?
||. one whole "today years old" post!ragnarok and hela's reveal. Except, even then, according to the movie, not really because Thor is still in heavy denial about all of it where Odin is concerned. I've spoken a bit (here) about how Thor adores his family; he idolizes them and views them through blinding rose-colored glasses, (especially when they're deceased) and that is especially true of his circumstances.
So, very often times when the truth clashes with the rose-colored view of them (namely: his father), Thor does one of two things: find a way to justify the words or action with the surrounding context of the time to make it make sense (e.g., well he scolded me harshly because i was talking back), or avoid it altogether. (this is his go-to. no talking about it; thor would rather not right now, so he does not.)
Key example being: he would rather focus on how his father changed his ways, and the Odin that he knew and grew up with was a man who had turned away from pursuing war for war's sake, and was instead one who valued peace and life. He would rather focus on that aspect of Odin, and take in the broader picture of Odin's life. REGARDLESS of the fact that what Thor is deeply, personally affected - not with the realization that Odin changed his ways once upon a time - but by the fact that he lied to him, manipulated him, and controlled and shaped every aspect of his being, for Thor's whole life, JUST to avoid another Hela. Someone who Thor is not, could not be farther from, and never knew about, because Odin (apparently) kept the matter of his true first-born a closely-guarded secret and seemingly would have continued to were it not for Odin's death, Hela's escape, and Ragnarok all coinciding at the same moment in time. And this, all because Thor rationalizes it as "well, I wouldn't want to be remembered and judged based on the person that I used to be. I should extend that same kindness to my father, because he too, changed." (x10 because now Odin is dead. And it's in poor-taste to speak ill of a dead man.)
The problem namely being: Thor only talks about things when Thor decides it's time to talk about things ; when he is ready. ...but as this is a topic that ripple effects down to Thor's core, good luck getting him to open up about it, even just with himself.
#(yknow what sucks most about this is that 2011-2015 thor was on a trajectory where)#(while he still wouldn't talk about a lot of things he wasn't as firmly rooted in /absolute denial/ like he is now >>)#(he would lock up and not talk about his personal feelings but he was still /thinking/ about them)#(- and could grow ready to share his thoughts once he processed through all of it.)#(or at least he would broach the broad concepts while still lightly brushing over 'k but how did it make THOR feel')#(dude would rather choke than talk about his own feelings no support system for thor he's so dumb)#(which is also just so funny because he never /denied/ the fact that he's feeling under the weather either)#(he just... won't elaborate on why he is or how to feel better.)#(but anyways)#(to rationalize the trajectory shift away from 'thor being able to talk about deeply upsetting topics for him even if it's uncomfortable')#(i've decided that so much has happened in such a short amount of time and there's /so/ many things eating at him-)#(-that he's subconsciously decided he's not going to talk much about any of them. because there's just too much.)#(the vibe of 'if i talk about this now i'm going to fall and if i fall i don't know if i can get up again because it's finally too heavy)#(-and i can't afford to fall down bc there's too much at stake outside of me so i just will not take the chance')#(he can if he's ever with someone he truly trusts and he can speak about it NORMALLY if that person pushes him enough)#(because you've always had to needle thor to /actually answer your question/ rather than talk half-way around it)#(//stares at thor 2011 where he never opens up to jane even once not even at the fire-side chat)#(but until then it's big denial mode bc ragnarok messed him up something fierce and i'm not even talking about-)#(-the order of in-universe events that happen in the movie orz)#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#( answered . ) — black feathers fall to a raven's call .#clxscdeyes#( headcanon . ) — glory to the man who toils for his land . may it ever prosper .
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Had a dream about a magic school AU. Like... Literally my school but with magic and with Roxy as a protag because Blorbo. She was the only one in the school without magic so every magic lesson, she'd literally just take a nap on the desk. What else is she gonna do?
But also I dreamed how she was compensating for not having magic. She was mixing chemicals into explosives to win fights and like... Yeah it's kinda hard to argue against the dog with Potion of Kaboom™️
However, because it was a dream, my brain combined the Glams with the cast of Ni No Kuni 2 and got very confused when I woke up because the Kuni 2 cast actually fit a magic environment but FNaF guys do not lmao
There was also a bit where Roxy not having magic means naturally, she doesn't rely on it to solve problems. So while everyone was given the task of making a candle go out without blowing on it, she just. Stared in absolute bafflement as everyone around her immediately dove to figuring out spells that extinguish flames. Instead of just. Water. From the tap. Right next to them.
She decided to freak them out a bit for fun and when the teacher asks for volunteers to come forward to show what they've come up with, she immediately puts her paw up and gets called on. She wets her paw under the tap before anyone has their attention on her, walks up to the candle at the front desk, turns so everyone can see, says all professional "Today, I've learned..." pauses and then... just pinches the flame out. Literally just pinches the wick between the paw pads on her fingers and it goes out immediately. "That you guys are idiots." And walks back to her seat in silence with a smirk.
Naturally, a bunch of kids are yelling that she can't just do that what the fuck?! But she did just do that. It took her half a second to do what's taken all of them a good forty minutes to figure out at least. Teacher asks how she knew that would work and she just "you can't have a flame without oxygen. Obviously." and you get a chorus of "WHAT" and "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!" She's so damn smug about it lmao these people make showing off too easy sometimes.
Like sure, she physically can't pass a mandatory magic exam unless she's able to figure out ways around it, but she can at least fuck around in lessons lmao. She tried skipping them but they started getting on her family with all the typical mandatory attendance shit so she has to go now :/ she just sleeps in them or fucks with people for fun since everyone likes to flaunt their magic on her every day anyway. Eat shit assholes she knows how to put fire out with minimal effort!
I think there was also a bit about her trying to convince teachers that a non-magic sports club would be a good idea?? And failing miserably because they just don't see the value in a magic school with non-magic sports. Thinking now, she could probably make her own club after school but probably wouldn't get that much traction with it... Resenting her family and teachers and every power that be forever because she could be a top student and could be doing amazing in school if she was just in a non-magic focused one. But she's stuck here and it sucks.
I don't know where I'd go with the story but eh it's neat I like it! Definitely different to my normal stuff!
#fnaf security breach#i feel i can't do anything with this without getting accused of inspiration from the worst piece of media ever...#because this site is mostly american and the school from that is literally just the uk's school system... but magic...#all i can see in my head is my buddy restless thinking that fucker made up christmas crackers man#so I'd be very wary touching this one cause i do NOT want to be associated with that bullshit#i never even liked it that much i jusf thought 'hey magic thats neat' and that was it before i Found Out the rest#so like#yeah uhh#new au I'm not sure i CAN do anything with??#without some bright spark making a connection where there isn't one???#uhh... hooray???#I'd love to make it a thing i think it'd be neat even if it would serve OCs better probably#so I'd love to talk about it#but you can see why I'm hesitant to post anymore about it without prompting right?#you guys can see why...?#for most people that aren't from here that series is the first interaction with the british school system they've seen#so a lot of people seem to think it was designed and made by that fucker when it legit wasn't#we have school houses here that's fairly normal... and christmas crackers...#and whatever else cause i don't remember a damn thing I've never seen any of those films the whole way through lmao#but anyway on that note... if you were wondering from that tag...#i was in the blue house in primary school. we were the falcons :)#we won the house points a lot it was great!!#anyway yeah I'm up to talking about this one and developing it more! I just... maybe won't unless someone specifically asks about it#ya know?#ask away if you want to!!! would be happy to fuck around with it!!!#otherwise I'll just. keep it to discord rambles... which is less fun honestly#but hey it works
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'i'll cook for you next time.' 'when? tomorrow?' 'ani.' 'then when?' 'hmmn...' *thinks* 'when you look the most adorable'
live footage of inside Gu Won's head:
#tv: king the land#king the land#lee junho#junho 2pm#im yoona#girls generation yoona#yoona snsd#kdrama#local gay watches KTL (and gets diabetes in the process).txt#local gay watches k-dramas.txt#you bet your f*cking ass that man is already out here planning his next move#he's like bitch i'm going to be so normal about this. i'm going to be the most normal man you ever saw#i'm going to roll up to the Bank of Aegyo and take out a loan worth more than their entire stock system if i have to#that's my girlfriend!!!!! she said she'd cook for me if i became more adorable!!!!!#himbo ass man no thoughts head empty just Cheon Sa Rang
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#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life#woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour#i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom#i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess#earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like#2 weeks straight#i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house#i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you#i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control#fucking sucks man#i hate ibs#in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work?#ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick.#it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school#while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick#but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then#but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off#and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh#this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person
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