#mosseum

[mensministry]

Mosseum, Norway,

Studio 7.83

[bouncinghedgehog]

Scandinavian Forest Retreat: “Mosseum" by Studio 7.83 / Yani Ernst

[nataliliv]

Mosseum is an enchanting Scandinavian Forest Retreat featuring 10 uniquely shaped cabins that elegantly intertwine modern architecture with the ethereal charm of moss

[ecotone99]

[RF] The Curator

A globally recognized Museum of Art hired a new Museum Curator. The Curator had no formal training and no experience. He had been reluctant to apply to such a position. His hope for a new start ended up defeating his meagerness as he thought, “I know I’m not the most qualified, but the only downside to applying would be another rejection. Other than that, what's the worst that could happen.”

He felt there was a small chance of at least being interviewed since the ad in the paper read, “Only local applications accepted.” He was taken by surprise when he received a, “You’ve got the position”, phone call from the Museum Director.

****************************************

The Curator started his first day with a can-do attitude. The Museum Docent introduced him to the staff, gave him a tour of the museum, and provided an employee orientation.

The Docent spoke with an abnormally high pitched German accent, During the tour, the Docent stopped in front of a painting.“Ze mosseum acquired zis painting sshortly after ze grand opening. It vas created by a, at ze time, young and fairly unknown artisst, Picazzo. Ze painting vas placed in zis corner of ze mosseum, and here it haz ssat for the last 100 yearz. Familiarize yourzelf vith all the artwork in zis section, but zis is one of the most precious pieces of art in the world. Take every precaution to ensure that ze people continue to admire and visit zis painting” They continued the tour.

****************************************

The Curator was released early after the orientation. He went home and prepared for work the next day. That night, the Curator studied a sheet from the orientation package which showed all the different positions at the museum.

Director – In charge of the Museum.

Curator – Oversees objects in their work areas.

Registrar – Keeps track of all Museum objects.

Museum Educator - Plans tours and other programs for visitors. Manages the Docent.

Docent – Guides and teaches visitor on tours of the Museum.

Graphic Designer - Design brochures and posters for the museum either by hand or on the computer.

Public Relations Officer – Writes/distributes press releases for schools and the community

...

...

There were other positions on the sheet, but the Curator thought this would be a good place to start. He went to bed early, and immediately fell asleep.

****************************************

He returned to the Museum the next morning early and eager to get started. He spent the first half of the day walking through his section of the museum memorizing every fact he could. After lunch, the Curator began to witness something strange about the visitors.

He thought to himself, “The museum is full of people. They spending time at each exhibit except for the Picasso. They walk past or around, but never stop to admire the masterpiece... never so much as grant the Picasso a glance.”

****************************************

He went to the Museum Directors office. "Good afternoon, sir... there's a tremendous piece of artwork, a Picasso painting, at the far corner of the East wing, but nobody seems interested. Why is that?”

The Director said, "That's an interesting observation, but it's not my job to answer your questions." The Director smiled and let out a short laugh, "Son, I'm the Museum Director. I'm in charge of the museum and all of it's workings. Why don't you go speak with the Museum Registrar.” The Director paused for a moment, then continued, “Don’t you know what the registrar does here?

The Curator began to speak, “Yes sir, the registra..”

The Director interrupted, “The registrar keeps track of all the items in the museum.” The director smirked and raised an eyebrow, then continued, “If you knew that, you would have gone to her in the first place. But, I understand, you’re new here.”

The Curator turned to leave. The Director raised his finger, “One more thing, please don't tell me my business. I know this museum has a Picasso" As the Curator passed the door, the Director added, "Remember, anything you need, stop by my office. Oh, and please report back to me what you find out about the painting.”

As the Curator proceeded down the hall to the Registrar’s office, he heard a whale of a laugh coming from the Directors office.

****************************************

The Curator approached the Registrar's office greeting her with a, "Good morning ma'am...I mean, good afternoon. There's an incredible painting in the back of the museum, the Picasso, but everyone skips past it. Why is that?”

The Registrar said, "Hmm, you know...”, tapping her pen to the corner of her mouth, “I know you're new here, but I'm just the Registrar.” The registrar slowed her speech, “I keep track of all the pieces of art in the museum.” Her speech returned to the normal speed, “Bless your heart. I know that painting. It’s special, but I wouldn't know how to answer your question. Besides, isn't that your department?”

"Well, yes, and that's what I'm attempt…."

The Registrar interrupted, "Why don't you ask the Director?"

The Curator said, "I've already asked the Director. He.… "

The Registrar interrupted again, this time with a little more amusement on her face, "Oh, I don't know what to tell you then. Maybe you should talk to the Museum Educator?"

“Okay, thanks." Beads of sweat started to form on the Curator's forehead.

The Registrar replied, “Have a good day.”, as the Curator turned to leave.

The Curator headed to the Museum Educators’ office. A few moments after leaving the Registrar, he heard a monster of a laugh coming from her office. Around the same time, a woman walked past him in the hallway headed the opposite direction. He heard her whisper, “Picasso”, just after passing by. He paused for a moment, but shrugged the odd comment away from his mind as he continued to the Educators office.

****************************************

He thought before approaching the Museum Educator, "Maybe if I act more cheerful, the Museum Educator would be more willing to speak with me than the others. "GOOD MORNING SIR!"

The Museum Educator looked irritated by the excitement. “How are you?

The Curator replied, “I’m doing just fine.”

The Educator had a questioning look on his face, “Just fine? What's that supposed to mean?”

The Curator decided to rephrase his response, “I’m doing well. How are you?”

The Educator replied, “Just fine.”

The Curator ignored the strange start to the conversation and began his question, “Sir, as I’m sure you know, there’s a Picasso painting in this museum. It’s the most interesting, and probably unique painting I’ve seen. I’ve noticed though, that no one is visiting the painting. Why is that?”

The Educator rolled his eyes, “Man, I don’t know why people choose to… or choose not to look at things. This is a museum of art. We are globally recognized, by the WORLD for our art. If I have to stop and think about why people do this or don't do that I’ll never have time to do my work. I bet you don’t even know what I do here.”

The Curator started to reply. He thought for a moment, “Is this guy going to wait for me to reply just so he can interrupt me?” His pride took over. He told the Educator, “Of course I know what you do here. You.” He thought for a second. He had forgotten what the Educator does. “You educate... the people coming in here about...”

The Educator started, “No, that’s not quite it. It sounds like your just taking the literal interpretation of my title. I plan the tours and other programs for the museum visitors, and I oversee the Docent.”

The Curated wanted to impress the Educator with his knowledge of the staff. He replied, “Maybe the Graphic Designer has an idea why...”

The Educator interrupted, “Yes, that’s the first good idea I’ve heard from you today. Go see the Graphic Designer.”

As he headed to the Designers office, he heard another laugh. This time it came from the direction of the Educators office. After the laughter ended, the Curator heard the words, "Just fine." in a sarcastic tone coming from the Educator.

****************************************

He reached the Designers office. The Designer was away from his desk. The Curator chose to wait a few minutes to see if anyone would show up. He took a seat next to the Designers desk and proceeded to wait. He looked around the room and noticed items on the Designers desk. "A candy dish, an action figure, and a rubix cube... Interesting."

The Curator focused on the candy dish. The candy had a shiny gold wrapper, and the label read toffee. He took a piece, unwrapped it, and popped it into his mouth. There wasn’t a trash can visible, so he placed the wrapper on the desk.

Next, his attention moved to the Rubix cube. The cube was unsolved. The Curator, in a previous life, had mastered the Rubix cube. There was a time when he could solve it without looking, but he wondered if his skills were still sharp. He grabbed the cube, fiddled around with it for about thirty seconds, and had the cube solved.

He grabbed the action figure, and made it hope over to the rubix cube which he had placed back on the desk. “Rubix cube, your days of confusing the masses are over… pew… pew...pew”, the Curator said to entertain himself while waiting.

The Designer entered his office and sat down after greeting the Curator. “What can I do for you, man?” The designer pulled out his phone and began to stare.

The Curator went into his explanation, “I know what you do here. You design brochures and posters for the museum either by hand or on the computer. I was wondering after having spoken with the Director, the Registrar, and the Museum Educator, what your thoughts were about the Picasso painting."

The Designer, still looking at his phone, gave no indication that he was listening. “Nobody stops to look at the Picasso. Why is that?”, said the Curator.

The Designer replied, “Yeah, I’m very interested in that issue. And, yes, you are correct, I create brochures and stuff… “ The designer finally looked up from his phone. “Wait, what happened here? Did you solve my Rubix cube? What the hell, man. I’ve been working on that for weeks. And, did you leave trash on my desk? You know, I think you need to leave my office….”

The Curator replied, “I’m sorry. I meant no offense.' The beads of sweat that formed earlier on his forehead began to stream down his face, and he felt moisture trickling down his arm pits. “I-I-I got bored while waiting for… I’ll go”

The designer yelled as the Curator left, “Come back when you’ve learned some manners.”

As the Curator was in the hallway moving away from the Designer's offiece, he heard the Designer make a comment, "I don't know why the Director insists on hiring losers."

****************************************

The Curator was devastated by the events that had taken place after lunch. He had never been treated like this in all his life. He thought to himself, "There were a few occasion, growing up, where I was bullied at school. Those were immature kids, though. I outgrew that awkward phase years ago? Why do I feel, all of the sudden, that I cannot do anything right?”

There was still a desire to prove himself. “I’ll find out why nobody will visit the Picasso. The last person that may be able to help is the Officer of Public Relations”

****************************************

He stopped at the door frame and managed to bring the words, “Hi there”, to his lips.

The Public Relations Officer returned the greeting with a friendly, “Come on in. How are you doing this fine day!", and a waving gesture.

The Curator said, “I’ve… come in here… to speak with you about the Picasso painting since you are the Officer of Public Relations...”

The Public Relations Officer started to make strong eye contact with the Curator. He interjected, “Ah, your the Curator... Yesss, the Pic-ahsssso. I love that painting. It’sss crazy. It really makesss you wonder what was going through that guysss mind. Like he must have been really crazy and paranoid. I heard that he wasss a hard one to talk to, like everyone he talked to would get this weird vibe.” He said excitedly, “What a weirdo”, still maintaining strong eye contact. "Oh, by the way, it'sss Public Relationsss Officer, not the other way around."

The Curator lost all focus of the point of his visit, He thought to himself, “The eye contact. Why is this guy peering at me?”

The Public Relations Officer says, “I’m a real PRO when it comesss to public relationsss.”

“Huh?”

“Public Relationsss Officer, you know P.R.O.? That's an easssy way to remember.”

“Oh, I see. Yeah that’s clever. “

“Come over here, and take a look at what I’m working on, bro.”

The Curator moves to the other side of the desk and stands next to the PRO. The PRO shows him a press release that he was getting ready to distribute to the community.

The PRO grabs the Curators forearm and says, “Look at thisss one. It hasss the Pic-ahsssso.” He finally release his hand and the Curator walked back towards the door. His face had gone white.

The Curator turns before leaving to thank the PRO for his time. Before he had a chance to speak, the PRO said, “Man, look at you. Your face is ssso pale. I didn’t realize you were ssso… sssick", while maintaining the eerie eye contact?"

****************************************

Finally the Museum Curator gave up. He sat in front of the Picasso painting, and thought to himself,

"Well, if no one else will give this painting it's due respect, then I will."

The Curator sat there for twenty minutes, admiring and searching for details and hidden meanings of the painting. It calmed him down, although his thoughts kept returning to the earlier events of the day. He thought to himself, “What did he mean by, ‘I didn’t know you were so sick', and what was up with the staring?’”

****************************************

The Museum Docent approaches with a tour group. The Docent stopped the tour in front of the Picasso and began speaking to the group in a normal accent, "Attention please, everyone. You are in for a treat. We have asked you, and all visitors today, to please refrain from looking at the Picasso painting.” The Docent points to the Curator. "This is a 'Museum Curator'. The Docent made air quotes while saying the words "Museum Curator". We hire around three to four ‘Curators’ each month. This Curator was ‘hired’ yesterday. He has been the subject of a performance art piece that we call ‘Curator’s Curiosity’."

"With this subject, you will get to see what happens on the other side of the road. What happens to a seemingly confident man when he is taught that he is never right, when he becomes a person that nobody listens to, when he becomes a person that is never given an ounce of respects.“

“After a new 'Curator' is hired, he is given a tour of the museum. He is shown the Picasso you see to your right. Over the course of a day, we orchestrate a series of events which are deigned to inevitably lead the Curator into having a nervous breakdown.”

“There are cameras all around the museum, as you all should know. We also have cameras installed in all of the employee areas and offices which has allowed us to capture all aspects of the performance. The series of events that led to the Curators misfortune is currently being edited down to, probably, a ten minute wideo.” The Docent pauses for a moment to hold back a laugh, “Which will be available, for your viewing entertainment, at the end of the tour. As always, please feel free to inspect the art, but do not interact with the art."

People on the tour take turns commenting, “Look at those sad eyes", “Yes, and see how he has this look of disappointment", “No, that’s not disappointment. He has clearly given up. His whole demeanor reeks of defeat”, “It is a commentary of how people treat each other in a post modern society.”

The Curator sat there stunned. He started to reply, "No, your a commentary of a..." The muscles in his chest began to shake, “What’s real?”

The Docent turned toward the Curator as his face started to snarl. It was the look you always see before someone sneezes, The Docents shoulders jerked forward and he yelled, “Hat-shoes”.

The Docent then decided that enough was enough. He began to give the 'Curator' words of encouragement, "It's okay buddy. It was only an exhibition. There was no real harm done, right? You'll get paid for the day, and you can go on with your life like none of this happened."

The Curator continued sitting after the crowd dispersed reflection on his life. “I suppose that’s the worst that could happen.”, he thought to himself. As he walked towards the entrance of the museum, he passed a crowd of people who were standing to the side. A few of the onlookers started in unison, “Pew… Pew… Pew."

submitted by /u/GettingUneven [link] [comments] via Blogger http://bit.ly/2G2s1Sy