The Office Season 4 Fan Script A Corporate Christmas
Jim and Dwight are sitting at their desks. Jim has a paper mâché pine tree on his desk.
Dwight: Jim! How many times do I have to tell you to keep your stuff on your side? The branches on this miniature tree are sticking right over my desk. It's covering my bobbleheads.
Jim: Don't you have the Christmas spirit, Dwight?
Dwight: I have the spirit of a farmer and I know when a plant needs to be trimmed.
Dwight grabs a pair of scissors.
Pam's eyes widen.
Jim: Pam made that for me.
Dwight puts the scissors down and gently moves the tree away from his desk.
Jim: Careful Dwight, you need to be nice. Santa is watching.
Dwight: It's very impressive if an imaginary person is watching me.
Santa walks into the room.
Santa: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Has everyone been good this year?
Jim: See! I told you. He's real.
Dwight: That's just Michael…
Dwight looks in Michael's office and he is there.
Santa goes up to reception.
Santa (flirty): What about you, young lady? Have you been naughty or nice?
Pam: Um Nice.
Santa: I'm sure you have been naughty too.
Pam: I've been very nice to my boyfriend Jim.
Santa: Oh...
Jim (Talking Head): I called the Scholastic Speakers of Pennsylvania, and it turns out they also have Santa Claus. I had no idea that Santa moonlights as Ben Franklin for the rest of the year.
Pam (Talking Head): You flirt with Bengimen Franklin once and It comes back to haunt you.
Santa walks up to Dwight.
Santa: Merry Christmas Dwight. Have you been good to your cousin Mose?
Dwight: That is personal information how do you know that?
Dwight (Talking Head): I am very careful about any of my personal information leaking out to strangers. I always keep my driver’s license on me but, but in a secret place. Hint: It is not in my wallet. (Dwight smiles)
Santa: I know because Santa knows everything.
Dwight: Wait a minute. Are you wearing bifocals?
Santa: Yes, they help me see all the good boys and girls.
Dwight: You're not Santa. You're Ben Franklin! I knew it!
Dwight (Talking Head): Many things are real and many that are not real. Being the reincarnation of Benjamin Franklin is one thing, but also having the ability to deliver toys to kids all around the world? That's just ridiculous.
The theme song plays.
There is a party planning meeting in the conference room.
Angela: We need a theme for next Friday's Christmas party. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Phyliss: Why bother suggesting when you are just going to shoot it down and say it's whorish?
Meredith: Why can't the theme be Christmas?
Angela: May heaven help you.
Phyllis: See this is exactly what I'm talking about.
Pam: I made drawings of everyone in the office as snowmen. It might be cool to hang them up and make a snowman theme.
Meridith: That sounds great. Just give my snowman a beer.
Angela: You want to take the birth of baby Jesus and celebrate an abomination made of snow pretending to be human.
Pam: I'm not sure if anyone else sees snowmen the way you do.
Kelly: The only abomination would be is if there was a snowman that looked like Ryan. Wait I just pictured it and he's still hot.
Pam: Aren't you dating Darryl?
Kelly: Darryl would be a hot snowman too.
Michael: Ladies, we need to focus. This is our most important meeting of the year. Ryan would look hot as a snowman though.
Phyliss: I think a Moroccan Christmas would be a fun idea. Bob Vance did it last year and it was a hit.
Michael: Mo Rocca. I love him. He's in all those "I Love The" shows. What a wonderful idea to have someone who stars in a show about love during the season of love.
Pam: I thought that was valentine’s day.
Angela (Talking Head): Phyliss doesn't like it when I shoot down her ideas, but this is what happens when she has ideas.
Phyliss: That's not what I said…
Angela: Maybe we should discuss this more.
Michael: Nope! We need Mo and Mo Christmas. Mo Rocca Christmas! Mo Problems. I mean fewer problems. Mo Christmas Mo money. Get on it ladies.
Michael (Talking Head): It's been a rough year. We lost our angel Ryan and have gained a devil who is also Ryan. Maybe Ryan was always a wolf in sheep's clothing. Sheep have wool and wool is made of sweaters. Maybe Ryan is a wolf in a sweater. Who's to say though that under the sweater and the wolf suit is another sheep? Ryan could just be a sheep in wolf clothing in sheep's clothing. I also once said he was a fish in a pond. Maybe under that sweater, under the wolf outfit, and the sheep outfit, there is a fish. Also Jan. I'm letting Jan stay at the condo until she finds a new place. I'm keeping my distance right now. It's my present to her. Leaving her in my condo… alone… with all my stuff…
Creed is in accounting to visit Angela.
Creed: Hey Pumpkin.
Kevin: Hey! How come we aren't allowed to call you Pumpkin?
Angela: I never said anyone could call me Pumpkin.
Oscar: Whatever you say Pumpkin.
Angela: No nicknames. I can't give Andy any ideas.
Oscar: Jim told me that he calls him Tuna because he ate a sandwich. I think Andy gives himself ideas.
Creed: Who's Jim?
Oscar: For Pete's sake Creed he's been here for years. The tall guy who used to have shaggy hair, but thankfully he cut it, and he's very needy for attention because he makes way too many jokes.
Creed: Oh no. You mean Tim. The gay guy I want to fix my daughter up with.
Oscar: Everything you said is wrong.
Creed: No, I have a daughter and that's why I'm here.
Kevin: Aren't you here because you are getting paid to be here?
Creed: Who told you someone was paying me?
Kevin: We all get paid.
Creed: You're all in on this?
Kevin: Yeah, we are all here.
Creed: This thing is bigger than I thought.
Kevin: That's what she…
Angela: Kevin! I hear those words enough from Michael. What do you want Creed?
Creed: Some hats, nothing as fancy as a top hat, but classier than a baseball cap. I would also like pizza rolls, with pineapple in them. She also likes peach pie like her old man.
Angela: Who's she?
Creed: My daughter, is going to be in town during our Christmas party. Geez, Armada you don't pay attention.
Angela: I must make enough for one extra person?
Creed: It's the most important day of the year.
Oscar: Ah yes Christmas eve eve eve eve eve. A time to spend one last moment with your co-workers, before you get to finally be free for a couple of weeks.
Angela: Ok fine, but only Christmas hats and pizza rolls are not merry enough. Lucky for you Peach Pie will fit with the rest of the menu.
Creed: Thanks Angola you won't regret it.
Angela: I think I will.
Michael gets a phone call in his office.
Michael: Hello ho ho David how are you doing today?
David: I'm doing just great Michael. I was just wondering if you had any plans for next Friday.
Michael: I don't believe I do why?
David: I wanted to know if you wanted to come to the corporate Christmas party.
Michael: This is Michael Scott.
David: Yes Michael. I know.
Michael: I'm finally invited this time.
David: Yes.
Michael: At a physical location?
David: Yeah. There will be ice skating and karaoke. I remember Jan saying you are quite the Hockey player. Maybe we can play a game.
Michael: It's the nicest thing she said about me. She would say that because I am.
David: Great. Well, I hope I can see both you and Jim there. You can also bring a plus one.
Michael: Ok David I will be sure to let Jim know.
David: I can't wait to see you there bye Michael.
Michael: Wow. The last cooperate party was kind of a bust for me. Mostly because I wasn't there. Also, I may have committed a crime. Luckily no charges were pressed. It's good that pressing charges doesn't involve pressing a button because that would be fun. Everyone would be pressing changes. Anyways should be good. I will just try not to kidnap someone. Not that I would… Again…
David (Talking head): I felt bad Ryan didn't invite Michael to the last party. Honestly, I feel like he's earned it. He stood up for the company and stood up to Jan. That is not an easy task. I do think he needs to work on his leadership and decision-making skills, but maybe some positive reinforcement will be good for him.
Ryan (Talking Head): David had this idea to invite Michael to the corporate party. Michael. I'm not sure if David remembers who Michael is. Unfortunately, I'm not in a high enough position to uninvite Michael.
Friday. It's the office Christmas party and Mo Rocca's head is everywhere combined with Christmas stuff. Michael is talking to angela in accounting.
Angela: I hope everything is to your liking, Michael. We have a face of a man plastered all over the office. I still have no idea who he is.
Michael: Everything looks great Angela, by the way, I will be leaving early.
Angela: What?
Michael: Yeah, I wrote you a note explaining everything. I told Pam to give it to you.
Pam: No, you didn't. Did you check your desk?
Pam (Talking head): Michael always leaves sticky notes for me to pass around the office, but he always ends up keeping them on the desk instead of giving them to me to message people.
Michael: Oh, I forgot. Jim, did you want to come with me?
Jim: Yeah, sounds fun.
Michael: Really?
Jim: Yes, Michael I'd love to go.
Jim (Talking head): Yeah, it's kind of last minute but sounds like a good party. David is going to be there. He's a great listener if I have an opinion on something. If there are any recent changes, I'm not happy with he will at least hear me out even if it doesn't change anything.
Angela: How many people are going to be staying for the party that I spent ages working on?
Michael: Relax, Angela it's just me and Jim. Wait, Pam, you can be Jim's plus one.
Pam: Ok. I'm sorry I'm going to miss your party, Angela.
Angela: Seriously? I do all this work and half of the office is not even going to be here.
Michael: Wow you seem angrier at me than Jan. That reminds me I should get my own plus one since she is not an option.
Angela: Take Andy.
Andy: But Ange. I was going to sing a song just for you called Angela we have heard on high.
Angela: I think I got the idea. Also, no nicknames.
Angela (Talking head): I am very much fond of my growing tolerance for Andy, but today is the day that I'd rather have him not with me than with me.
Tobey: I hope you have a good time, Michael.
Michael: Ah, Tobey that reminds me I need to give you your present.
Tobey: Wow Michael that is very thoughtful.
Michael hands Tobey a pile of paper.
Toby (reading): I Tobius Flenderson vow to be less of a buzz kill next year…
Michael: It's a 200-page document I expect all the pages signed when I get back.
Tobey (Talking head): I know it's a joke, but it is something to read and I'd probably be filling out actual paperwork anyway, so why not.
Michael: Well, that's all I needed to do before I left. Jim, Pam, and Andy. I'll meet you guys outside.
Pam: I call shotgun!
Michael: Dang it!
Pam (Talking head): Michael hasn't had the best of luck with cars. I knew he was going to want to ride with me and Jim in his car.
The Mo Rocca Christmas is kicking off in the conference room. Creed walks in with his daughter. She is played by Gillian Jacobs because I said so.
Creed: Hey gang this is my daughter Naimwiheld.
Oscar: Are you having her name withheld in front of the doc crew or is that her real name?
Creed: Yes.
Namey: You can call me Namey for short.
Oscar: It's nice to meet you, Namey.
Namey (Talking head): It's nice to visit my dad. Things weren't going well in Mexico, so I'm on my way to Canada right now, so fingers crossed. This isn't being aired anywhere, right?
Voice: We might make a deal with PBS eventually.
Namey (Talking head still): Oh good no one will see that.
Still at the Party.
Creed: What is with all the Harry Potter stuff?
Namey: That's not Harry Potter Dad. Harry has green eyes like his mother. Unless you are talking about the movies Harry's eyes are…
Dwight: Blue. It's nice to meet another Potter Head.
Namey: Yeah, I'm also a Potter head without the e and r at the end.
Dwight: What is a Hairy Pot about? I never read that book before.
Namey (Laughing): Hairy Pot good one. Would you clean a hairy pot with shampoo or dish soap?
Dwight: The best way to clean everything is with my signature beet soap, but it does tend to leave a red stain. So, you have to also clean it with normal soap. It guarantees you wash everything twice.
Namey: Wow you make soap?
Dwight: I make everything.
Creed is running off with a reef in the background.
Dwight (Talking head): My goal is to become the George Washington Carver of beets. My Ex was never fond of this idea. She used to yell at me for playing with beets when she babysat me.
Michael, Pam, Andy, and Jim are on their way to the corporate party. Michael and Andy are in the back of Jim's car.
Michael: Daddy? Can we go to the zoo?
Jim: You should maybe think a minute before you call me Daddy.
Michael: If Daddy won't take me to the zoo maybe Mommy will?
Pam: Mommy wants you to play the quiet game.
Andy: Mi-coal you are lucky to have a Mommy and Daddy. I have no Mommy and Daddy.
Michael: Where did your Mommy and Daddy go?
Andy: I don't know. I've lived in an orphanage all my life, but I always have hope for (singing)
Tomorrow, tomorrow. I'll Love ya tomorrow. You're only a…
Michael's phone starts ringing.
Jim: Thank Goodness.
Michael: Hey Jan.
Pam: I don't think we should be thankful yet.
Michael: Did you find a place yet?... Yeah, it's good to start packing anyways… I need the house empty so I can shoot stuff for threat level midnight… You seemed to like the idea when we were together… I just don't know if I need that many musical numbers… That is a big moment in the film where scan gets his confidence back… It just doesn't stand out as much if Jasmine sings every scene… I'm not trying to cut you I'm not… I'm on my way to go to a party with David Wallice… I know… You're the one that wanted to sue him when you had no case… Well, everyone else seemed to think… You can't be mad at me for having friends… He said I was a nice guy… He said I'm doing a good job… I just wasn't good for the other job… Well, Ryan is not that great either… He is hot, but… It's been a rough year I deserve this… Oh well, what do you think I deserve?... Oh… uh huh… That's honest… Mmmm… Hmmm... Ok well bye…
Silence in the car. Michael holds back tears.
Andy: DAAAAY AAAAAA WAAAAAAYYYYY! Sorry… I… just had to finish it.
Dwight is announcing something in the conference room.
Dwight: Attention everyone. Michael has made a special end-of-the-year video for all of you. Please pay attention. With Michael not here there will be a quiz afterward.
Dwight turns on the video.
Michael (narrating): It's I love Dunder Mifflin where we talk about everything, we loved about working at Dunder Mifflin this year.
Michael is filming various office members.
Michael (Filming Meridith): What was your favorite thing about working at Dunder Mifflin this year?
Meridith: I liked when you hit me with your car.
Michael: Because that was the moment, I cured you of rabies.
Michael (Talking to Stanley): What did you like about working at Dunder Mifflin?
Stanley: I was delighted for you to have me work on "Threat Level Midnight".
Stanley (Talking head by the doc crew not part of the video): Yeah, Michael gave me a role as one of the villains in his movie. It's nice to have my first speaking role. I was an extra in Philadelphia. Best day of my life. I was paid to sit all day. Michael is also having me narrate. Sometimes I tell him I'm recording, and I take a nap in the closet. This has truly been my best year.
Michael (Talking to Phillis): Phillis you had a great year, didn't you?
Phillis: I did. It was wonderful. I got to marry Bob Vance.
Michael: I was also part of your wedding.
Phillis: Yeah. That happened.
Michael: I also helped you when you were startled by that flasher. We had a fun trip at the mall.
Phillis: Pam said you made fun of me when I left the room that day.
Michael: I wasn't making fun of you. I was trying to uplift the office after a tragedy.
Dwight: I quit this year, but Michael told me how much I meant to him, and I returned.
Michael: He means as an employee of our little family.Not in a guy-on-guy way.
Michael: Pamela what did you like about this year?
Pam: I'm happy that I and Jim started dating. It's been great.
Michael: Anything about me?
Pam: I'm glad we didn't go to jail for kidnapping.
Michael: I saved that child's life that day.
Tobey: Hey Michael. Are you shooting a video? I heard you were asking people about this year. I thought you handled the deposition and getting a raise very well.
Michael: I'm here to interview Kelly.
Tobey: Oh…
Kelly: This year was awesome, well except for when Ryan broke up with me.
Michael: He left his temp job so he broke up with me too.
Kelly: What's up with all those black suits he's wearing now? Is he like a business goth?
Michael: Here comes the Ryan in black. He won't let you remember. Just bounce with me.
Kelly: He'd be doing us a favor if he erased our memory of him. Anyways I'm with Daryl now, and things are fantastic.
Michael: Jim, what's your favorite thing this year? I bet it's getting to hook up with Pam.
Jim: Who's Pam?
Michael: She's right there.
Jim: Hi my name is Jim.
Pam: It's nice to meet you, Jim.
Jim: She seems cute.
Michael: Creed what did you think of this year?
Creed: What do you know about this year?
Michael: You helped save the company by exposing the source of the watermark.
Creed: Yes, I did that. Poor Debbie Brown.
Michael: A heroic sacrifice indeed.
Creed: Thanks, boss.
Michael: Andy what did you think of this year?
Andy: I'm not just going to tell you. I'm going to sing it to you. Ooooooohhhhh.
Andy's song gets cut off.
Michael: Hey Accounting how was your year?
Kevin: I don't want to talk about it.
Oscar: My favorite part of the year is working with Kevin. Things will improve buddy.
Kevin: Thanks, man.
Michael: Angela I bet your favorite thing this year is starting to date Andy.
Angela: That is a thing that happened this year.
Michael: This year has been a year. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months and minutes and seconds later you have a year at some point. Time is a thing that just goes. You can't stop it. You wish it would stop, but it's time. If your clock breaks there is another clock. Clocks have hands and time will always give you a hand. I must hand it to everyone for having a great year.
The video ends with a Mo Rocca clip dubbed by Michael.
Mo Rocca: Hey everybody I love Dunder Mifflin. Have a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
Creed was stealing a Christmas tree when they watched the video. Dwight turns off the video.
Dwight: OK the video is over now back to the party.
Angela: Wait. I also have an announcement to make. Due to Michael's horrible planning, the gift exchange will be moved to when we return in January.
Kevin: Wait, I don’t get my present this year.
Angela: I’m sorry Kevin, but it just won’t work. I had Jim, so Jim wouldn’t get what I got her until next year anyways. Pam had me and she wouldn’t be able to see my face of disapproval when I open it.
Kevin (Talking head): I forgot to buy Pam her secret Santa present this year. I guess I have more time.
Namey: Wow. I like how you introduced that video. You are so demanding like Dumbledore.
Dwight: Well I am Dumbledore's assistant. At least I was until tall skinny big nosed Snape took it. Curse Jim and his magnificent nose.
Namey: I think I'm missing something. Was there an 8th book?
Dwight: No. This is a tragic reality.
Namey: You get to have more fun when you're not the authority figure anyways. You can go on adventures and not just make all the boring speeches.
Dwight: Perhaps.
Michael, Andy, Jim, and Pam enter the corporate party.
Kendal: Hey Michael. How are you?
Michael: I'm doing ok. You've seen Jim before and this is Pam and Andy.
David: Kendel what are you doing?
Kendel: I'm just saying hi to Michael.
David: He just got here, Kendal. Give the man some space. Go to the bar maybe you'll learn to relax a little. Michael, how are you doing? It's great to see you.
Michael: … I'm here.
David: Jim it's great to see you. I'm sorry things didn't work out.
Jim: Well, you have Ryan.
David: Yeah. He is buzzing about that new website of his.
Pam: I bet Jim would've probably come up with something even better.
David: I'm sure he would have but the important thing is, are you happy?
Jim: Yeah. I've got everything I wanted.
David: That's great. Can I get you guys a drink?
Andy: The question is can I get you a drink?
David: It's in my hand right here.
Michael: Do you have hot cocoa.?
David: Yeah and there are all sorts of flavorings, creamers, and candy you can add to it. I know you have quite a sweet tooth.
Michael: I'll just have cocoa
David: Ok right this way. Have you guys seen Ryan yet? I swore I just saw him.
Ryan is hiding behind a Christmas tree.
Ryan (talking head): Michael embarrassed me from miles away at the last party. There is no telling what he can do in person.
Angela brings out a ham to the conference room.
Angela: We have a special treat this year. I baked this ham at my house and brought it here.
Kevin: Where is the pizza?
Stanley: I don't care what I eat it's not every day we get free food.
Phillis: I thought that all the food was a play on the word Mo like the Mo fins?
Creed: I thought Ham was our receptionist.
Angela: Let's just cut the ham.
Dwight: I got the perfect thing to cut it with.
Dwight grabs a samurai sword hidden under the conference and cuts the ham, Dwight.
Dwight: Gaaahhhh!
Angela: Dwight! You aren't supposed to have any more weapons. Where's Toby?
Tobey is in the annex filling out Michaels's form.
Tobey: This is a lot more detailed than I expected.
Dwight is admiring his sword.
Namey: Great swordplay back there.
Dwight: Thank you.
Namey: I know how to handle a big sword myself.
Dwight: Oh Really?
Namey: Look we are standing under the mistletoe.
Dwight: It's the mistle Mo.
The mistle Mo is a mistletoe with Mo Rocca's face on it. Dwight and Namey Kiss under it.
Stanley is sitting at his desk working on a crossword. Creed walks up to him.
Stanley: You're here to steal my Mo men, aren't you?
Stanley has little snowmen with glasses on his desk.
Creed: Yes.
Stanley: Go ahead.
Stanley: I don't even know who Mo Rocca is, but even if I did I probably still wouldn't care.
Michael and Andy are picking a karaoke song.
Michael: are you sure we should sing that song, Andy?
Andy: We have no choice it's the only Christmas duet.
Michael: We could not have a duet. I'm not even sure if I feel like going up.
Andy: I would love my voice to make a voice baby with your voice.
Michael: That does not sell me on this duet idea Andy.
Andy: Aw let's go, Michael. It'll be like you're an honorary member of Here comes treble.
Michael: Hmm… It would be nice to have a college experience.
Andy: All right Mikey and the nard dog!
Jim and Pam are talking a little further away.
Pam: Why don't you just tell David what you think?
Jim: I don't know I'm just looking for the perfect timing. I'm not even sure if he'd want to hear it.
Pam: He seems to have a lot of respect for you. Just go up to him and say Ryan's website isn't working.
Jim: I want to make sure Ryan's not around. You could distract him.
Pam: I can seduce him. Maybe talk about Beyonce. It seems to work for Kelly.
Jim: He did try to ask you out.
Pam: Yeah, I deeply regret saying no.
Jim: See this is your chance.
Pam: You might lose me if I do this Halpert.
Jim: That's a risk I'm willing to take.
Pam: Or you could just walk up to him while he is standing right there?
Jim: Well, when you make it sound easy.
Jim approaches David Wallace, but Ryan comes out of nowhere.
Ryan: Getting a little taste of corporate life aren't you, Jim?
Jim: I'm getting a taste of a party.
Ryan: Don't get too attached you had your chance.
Jim: Well, there are still some spots open for karaoke and I haven't gone ice skating yet.
Ryan: Yeah, relax have a good time it's a party! This is the closest you are getting to here.
Jim: It's the closest I want to be here.
Jim (Talking head): Well I tried…
Jim walks back to Pam.
Pam: Not so good huh?
Jim: He just comes out of nowhere.
Pam: You'll get there. He's probably hiding from Michael, so it's harder to keep track of him.
Michael and Andy sing a song.
Andy: Ho ho how are you all doing? I'm going to sing a little ditty with my man Michael Scott!
Michael (Singing): I really can't stay.
Andy: But baby it's cold outside.
Michael: I've got to go away.
Andy: But baby it's cold outside.
Michael: I told you I want to leave!
Michael walks off the stage.
Andy: Remember you don't have to do what the man wants. You always have a choice. Women should have freedom now.
Jim: I guess they are doing a modern interpretation.
Pam: Very ambitious. We should see if Michael is ok.
Back at the Scranton branch. Darryl visits Kelly in the annex.
Darryl: Merry Christmas.
Darryl hands her an envelope.
Kelly: Where is the present?
Darryl: It's in here.
Kelly: I don't see any lumps indicating jewelry.
Darryl: Just open it.
Kelly opens the present.
Kelly: Oh, it's a gift card. That's lame.
Darryl: You can get whatever you want with it.
Kelly: I could just get what I want by walking into a store.
Darryl: You don't have to pay for it. People talk, Kelly. I know that you have a history of returning gifts.
Kelly: That doesn't mean I still don't enjoy the surprise of seeing what I'm going to return. At least it has a cool-looking snowman on it, I guess.
Darryl: Think of it as returning the card for something else.
Kelly: Aw you truly do know me. Here is your present.
Kelly gives him a box and he opens it.
Kelly: It's a gold box cutter. I thought you could think of me while you are working.
Darryl: This is a safety hazard. We can only use equipment provided by the company.
Kelly: That comment is a hazard to your safety.
Darryl: Hey, I'm just being honest. I appreciate the gift I'll figure out something to do with it.
Kelly: You could just lie to me.
Darryl: See you tonight? Maybe we can go shopping with your gift card.
Kelly: Now you said the magic word.
Darryl: Ok I'll see you then.
Darryl walks by Tobey.
Darryl: What are you reading Tobey?
Tobey: Just some paperwork Michael gave me.
Daryl: This says that you can't use the word inappropriate next year. I think Mike is joking. You don't need to fill out joke paperwork.
Tobey: I'm not sure if I enjoy it, but I'm kind of used to filling out forms anyways.
Jim and Pam check on Michael he is laying with his head down on the table.
Jim: Are you ok Michael?
Michael (Muffled): Yes.
Pam: Michael, you don't seem ok.
David walks up to Michael.
David: Is he ok?
Michael (muffled): I'm fine.
Pam: Is this about Jan?
Michael(muffled): no.
Jim: Is this about Ryan?
Michael (muffled): No.
David: I'm sorry for leading you on about the job interview. It's just that's how things go. It seemed to be polite to offer it to you, but I just didn't think you were a good fit. You work better on a personal level. I think you are at the right place you are now. I also didn't have the heart to put you in a position where you deal with Kendel.
Michael (muffled): It's not about that. I already said I was ok with that by not letting Jan sue the company.
David: Then what's wrong?
Michael (muffled): Everything. Maybe nothing. I don't know if I've been good this year.
David: Michael nobody is perfect.
Michael (Muffled): I know, but not everyone is living in a disaster.
Jim: At some point we all do.
Andy: Maybe I could sing you a song.
Pam: Is this the time?
Andy: Music is medicine for the soul Pam.
Michael lifts his head.
Jim: Feeling better?
Michael: I had no choice but to lift my head. My nose is squishing in my face.
Jim: Why don't you pull it out?
Michael (Smiling): That's what she said.
David: You know Michael if you are feeling better maybe we could play some hockey me and Jim against you and Andy.
Andy: I'd love to, but I can't. Angela is going to introduce me to her cats tomorrow and I want to have all my teeth. I think a toothless guy would freak cats out.
David pulls Ryan out of the crowd to the table.
David: What about Ryan?
Ryan: Hey I was just passing by.
Michel: Do you want to play hockey with master Ryan?
Ryan: umm sure.
Ryan (Talking head): I didn't notice he was there until it was too late.
Back at Scranton Namey is putting muffins in her purse.
Dwight: Namey! What are you doing? You are the one stealing all our party stuff?
Namey: There is muffin to see here.
Dwight: A hilarious joke won't save you. I think you need to leave now.
Namey: No one was going to finish them anyways.
Dwight: Leftovers are not to be distributed until the party ends. Plus I still don't know what you did to the other decorations.
Namey: I only took muffins
Dwight (Talking head): There are two things I love. Law and this office. Namey betrayed both.
Namey is on her way out the door.
Creed: I have something to show you.
Creed walks Namey down to a small room in the Scranton business park it has a shower head attached to the wall and there are several Christmas decorations.
Creed: It's just for us.
Namey: Wow dad it's beautiful.
She gives her dad a hug
Creed (Talking head): Sometimes I'm here and she's there and visa versa. I never feel like I have too many normal Christmases with her. This was my chance to give her something special. Plus I like to steal things.
Michael is playing hockey with Ryan, David, and Jim. They got part of the ice rink roped up so they could play hockey. Andy and pam are watching.
Andy: So, I guess we are like the cheerleaders.
Pam: Are you going to talk about how you were a cheerleader at Cornell?
Andy: Well, I was a cheerleader in a way. Acapella brings allot of cheer.
Ryan is way back in the corner.
Ryan: I got it.
David: No. I got it.
David gets a goal.
Jim: Great job David.
Ryan: Yeah, great job!
Michael gets a bunch of shots.
David: How are you even doing this is basically 2 against 1.
Ryan is looking at his phone.
Ryan: I’m helping.
Michael has the puck and is being chased by Jim and David
Michael: Cover me, Ryan.
Ryan is in the corner still.
Ryan: You got this buddy.
Michael flies between Jim and David.
Michael: Goooooaaaal!
Ryan is in a corner.
Ryan: Great teamwork.
Michael skates over to Ryan.
Michael: That was fun.
Ryan: Good job Michael.
Ryan holds his hand out for a high five. Michael gives him a big and long bear hug.
Michael (Talking head): This year hasn't been the best. I made mistakes. Other people made mistakes. The thing is that next year everyone is a baby again. Baby New Year. We are so busy learning to walk and talk again every year that sometimes we make the same mistakes or we make new mistakes. A mistake though is just a steak. It's just a steak you didn't get. Maybe a dog took it I don't know. The thing is you can always find another steak.
Jim talks to David after the game.
Jim: Good game.
David: Yeah.
Jim: Can I talk to you for a minute?
David: Sure.
They leave the ice rink and talk in a penalty box.
David: What did you want to talk about?
Jim: It's just this website. I don't think it's working.
David: Sometimes it takes a minute for changes to kick off.
Jim: I just feel like our customer service is what makes us stand out. If we rely on it, it will just make us blend in with other places like staples. Michael has been saying it. As crazy as he is he has point. He knows about sales. Dwight sold more paper than the website on the first day. I feel like there's nothing we can do to this website to match up against our customer service.
David: Ok. I see what you mean. When the fiscal year ends, we will see how it goes. Thanks for your honesty.
Michael Scarn and Jasmine are in a cave with Samuel.
Scarn: The key to saving the hostages is hidden somewhere in this cave.
Jasmine: Just hurry. This place is disgusting.
Samuel: Scarn someone is approaching us!
Stanley is playing a thug with bright yellow hair. The warehouse workers are right behind him. They are blocking Scarns way.
Stanley: Not so fast Scran.
Stanley and the warehouse gang do a westside story-style dance.
Jasmine: Scarn is there anything you can do?
Scran: I'll give it a shot.
Scarn fires his gun, and all the thugs fall. They then see the back of a very tall, little girl.
Scarn: Are you, ok little girl?
It's Gold Face.
Gold Face: You're the one who's Lost. Lost this battle that is. Jasmine, I can't believe you betrayed me with all the SEX we've been having.
Jasmine: You might think you're a big man Goldface, but Scarn is bigger.
Scarn: I'm out of bullets.
Dwight: Don't worry Michael. I can fire lasers at them (Dwight points) pew pew pew.
Jasmine (Breaking out into Jan): What did I tell you about putting a robot in this?
Michael: He was excited about it.
Jan: If you want this film to be a success it needs to have a concrete narrative. Robots just don't go with this story. None of the scenes work together it's nonsense.
Michael is editing threat level midnight in the kitchen of Schutte farms.
Michael: Been staying here with Dwight until Jan leaves. At least I have my laptop to edit my movie. This was shot under a coal mine. Luckily, it's owned by Creed's brother Reed.
Creed (Talking head): Yes, I have a brother. He owns a coal mine. It's not just me making money off an abandoned mine I don't own. That would be crazy.
Michael looks at the computer and presses play.
Jan (on the movie footage): Also, I thought Stanley was the narrator. It makes no sense. Is the villain narrating? This is ridiculous.
Michael stares at the computer.
Michael calls Jan it went to voice mail.
Michael: Hey Jan. I just wanted to let you know I have this idea for a big dramatic scene for you. I just must cut out all your scenes after the nightclub. I can't have the cave scene. Stanley can't be a narrator and a villain. He can't be Wesley Snipes and Morgan Freeman. I think I already used the warehouse workers in something too. You even said it yourself. Talk to you later bye.
Dwight walks in.
Dwight: Michael I think I hear something.
Dwight walks away. Mose starts prancing around the house.
Mose: He's coming. He's coming. He's coming!
Michael: Who is coming?
Mose: He is coming!
Dwight enters the room dressed as Belsnickel.
Dwight: I am Belsnickel, and I am Neigh!
Mose: (Squeals with excitement.)
Dwight: Cheer or fear are you admirable or impish?
Michael: Imp? Isn't that an offensive word?
Dwight: I find you admirable.
Dwight hands Michael a screwdriver.
Michael: Thanks Dwight.
Mose: Dwight? But… that's not Dwight…
Dwight: I am not Dwight that is very impish. Dwight slaps Michael.
Michael: Hey!
The end
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