#moriartyxmale

[fandomp0werfanfics]

One-Shot: A Day Dating James Moriarty.(Moriarty/Male!Reader)(Crack)

Trigger Warning(s): Language, Moriarty.

y/n = Your Name

(Mornings)

"It's getting ill it's getting sick on the floor, we never quit, we never rest on the floor.~" The light in Jim's and my bedroom flicks on as I'm tortured by Jim playing 'wake up' music.

"Jim, it's, like, five in the morning." I groan, turning over hiding my face from the light.

"Would you rather I play another song?" He questions, still letting 'On The Floor' play in the background of our conversation.

"Nooo, I want to sleep, asshole."

"Okay.~" He turns the music off.

"Thank you." I mutter as everything is quiet once more.

Just before I can fall asleep, there is a loud sound which causes me to jump.

The noise is Jim standing on the chair in the corner of our room playing another song on his phone.

~I am aware, that I am an asshole, I really don't care about all of that though, I'm living my life the way that I want to, and you can't deny, that honestly I'm just like you.~

"JiIiIiMmMm!" I whine pathetically. "Let me be."

"Nope." The music just gets louder as he joins in singing/yelling the music and lyrics. "Du du du doooo du du du da da, du du du du do dod do do, I've got a bad case of A-D-D,

I've been this way since 17, I've got a, FUCKED. UP. BRAIN. and a really bad attitude-"

"Turn it off."

"You love this song."

"I thought you loved me."

"Get up, we have fun things to do today."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck me yourself."

"Asshole."

"I AM AWARE, THAT I AM AN ASSHOLE-"

"Sssssssssttttooooooopppppp."

"Get up."

"No, Jim, I swear you're driving me crazy!"

"You knew that when you became my boyfriend." He grabs our quilt and pull it off or me.

"Jim!"

"UP."

"Fine." After a long battle of the wills, I give in.

(Breakfast)

"It's pancakes and eggs.~" Jim's voice is pitched high as he brings us each a plate of food to the table.

"You shouldn't have." A smile spreads across my face as I stare at the man I love. To think that we met because I was supposed to kill him.

He eats his food quickly, yet in a way no one could deny is adorable. His bed hair is adorable, everything about him is adorable...

How did they expect me to kill him? He's a masterpiece.

"I was thinking." He speaks in between bites of food. "Maybe we could go to the park today, I hear there's going to be a police thing."

"Police thing being?" I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms.

"Umm... police thing, could happen anywhere."

"Did you kill someone just so we could go to the park?"

"What? No." He shakes his head acting as if I'm being absurd. "Okay, yeah."

"Alright, let's go to the park and see what you did that you're so proud of."

"Yay!" He mocks excitement before he returns to eating.

God I love this guy.

(Afternoon)

"Honestly, it wasn't part of the plan." Jim tries to reassure as we run together. We're holding hands... it's very romantic.

Nothing says romance like being chased by assassin's wielding loaded guns. Yes, I'm being sarcastic.

"Sure you didn't." We duck around a corner.

"I honestly thought the guys was dead, do you really think I would leave a loose string?"

"You just wanted to have another thrill chase."

"While this is the most fun we can have without taking our clothes off, I didn't intend for us to get stuck running from people who are supposed to be dead."

A bullet whizzes past my head and we take off in a new direction.

"Don't worry I have a plan." His smile makes me nervous.

"Here we go..."

(Midday)

"You said you had a plan!"

"I did, it just wasn't a very good one."

We're hanging upside down in a meat freezer.

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Hey, hey, chill out a little." He smirks at his pun.

"I swear I will wring your fucking neck!"

"Don't sweat it."

"Stop making puns."

"What, are they not punny?"

"Fuck you."

"Fuck me yourself."

"If we don't make it out of here alive, I'm going to kill you."

"We'll already be dead, boo-bear."

"What kind of name is that?"

"Oh, you prefer the other one?"

"To boo-bear, yeah."

"Alright, my stabulous-hot ass-"

"Rise and shine cupcakes." The door swings open and a muscle bound man walks in.

"Ooh, I didn't schedule a porno... we have a freebie!"

"Jim, my god, you are a nightmare." I punch him in the ribs, which makes him spin around.

"Wee, look, I'm spinning."

"Let's get down to business-" The man picks up a baseball bat.

"-To defeat the huns." Jim continues.

"Oh my god, Jim." I shake my head. "I'm so sorry about all this, he didn't kill who he thought he killed."

"Wait, you're not... you're not 22 and 69..."

"Oh, we 69 alright."

"Shut up, Jim." I growl.

"Why the fuck are you two?!" The man seems disturbed.

(Dinner)

"Things could be worse."

"We're about to be sold at auction, how could this be worse?"

"At least we'll be together forever."

"...?"

"Will you marry me?"

"Are you seriously doing this now, here and now?!"

"Well, it does seem kind of romantic, don't you think?"

"Oh my god, you bastard."

"What?" He has an innocent look on his face.

"You planned this."

"What, me?"

"Yes."

"No, I actually didn't plan this... although, I wish I did. This is brilliant!"

"I want a divorce."

"We're not even married yet."

"Marry me so I can divorce you."

"Why, of course I'll marry you."

"Just shoot me."

(Nightfall)

"Don't be angry, I did it all for you!"

"You killed everyone, and then took a picture, posted it on criminals-book and said 'he said yes'."

"And?"

"And stole all of the auction money."

"And?"

"And, what?"

"And you still love me."

"Idiot."

"Love you too.~"

(2am)

~2 am where do I begin?~

"JIIIMMMM!!!!!!!!!"