#more than you would believe. you all are so important to me and I'm so happy you're in my life.

[buddhistmusings]

Why do you care so much?

I've been asked this question a few times in the past year - why I spend so much time thinking, reading, and reflecting on antisemitism, especially because I am not Jewish myself. There are a few reasons, really. One of them is that I think antisemitism is a hatred that spawns other hatreds, but even if it did not, it would still be worth studying, because the fact that it is a hatred at all is enough. The fact that antisemitism impacts Jewish people is enough of a reason to oppose it.

It's also because it's important to oppose because of the way it damages the thinking habits of people who believe it. I saw somebody say, "Jew-Hate makes you dumb," once. And though I think it was probably an off the cuff statement for them, it stuck with me, and I think they're right. In my religion, we say hatred is one of the three poisons - it can seriously harm your mental well-being in a way that deepens your suffering in all aspects of life. Often, hatred can also be spread like a contagion. It's something that destroys social harmony and causes severe social dysfunction. And right now, I think antisemitism is the most contagious of hatreds - I've seen people in my life fall off the cliff, I've been able to talk some back from it, and I've seen how so many people wander towards it without any idea that that's what they're doing.

Part of the problem is that antisemites consider themselves righteous in a way I think most racists don't. Often, you'll see "I'm not racist but" I almost never see that with antisemitism. They don't add that qualifier. They just say it. Most racists I know will make a tacit acknowledgment of the racist implications of what they're about to say - antisemitic people don't. They often even engage in anti-Jewish racism while invoking anti-racism.

I don't really know any Jewish people in real life, perhaps only two. But I don't need to know them to know that hating them is wrong. I think I also have a debt of gratitude to many people in the Jewish community because of the advances in Buddhist Studies made by Jewish people, which sounds strange - but it's true that many leading voices and researchers, both in academia and within Buddhism itself happen to be Jewish. I'm not sure why this is, but it's absolutely true. The most prolific translator of Pali into English that I can think of is Jewish. The most impactful Vipassana instructor in America I can think of is Jewish. The most impactful voice in Deity Yoga, for Tibetan Buddhism, is Jewish. People who are Jewish, for some reason, contributed probably more than ex-Christian Americans or atheists combined to the proliferation of Buddhism in the United States.

Buddhists and Jewish people are known to have a close relationship. There are a lot of different reasons for this that I would suggest, but none that add up to explain the amazing contributions to Buddhism made by American Jews.

I think another reason I have for being so interested in antisemitism as a non-Jew is the kind of... political disillusionment I've been experiencing? It's been a disturbing few years, and I haven't seen many people elaborate very well on this feeling of abandonment and horror, witnessing people who you thought shared your values become hateful and deeply violent in their beliefs. The only people I've seen consistently speak about it happen to be Jewish.

I think all of this has helped contribute to a feeling of closeness to Jewish people as a group, despite that I don't really know Jewish people in my real life, and only have one or two Jewish friends online. This year has been a horror show of watching people's minds become twisted - it's so scary in a way I can't quite capture with words right now.

I also sometimes have a back and forth with myself about when and if to mention I'm not Jewish when I talk about antisemitism, because I do think it's totally necessary to explain the perspective from which I speak, but to be honest it feels kind of icky to be like "I'm not Jewish, but antisemitism is bad", because antisemitism is bad whether or not the person saying so isn't Jewish, and I think it might be a negative for people to think "not being Jewish" is something which makes it any less valuable to be against antisemitism, and talk about how against it you are. It's very real that people who talk about antisemitism are perceived to be Jewish, and obviously, it's important not to lead people into thinking you're Jewish when you're not, but adding an "I'm not Jewish" qualifier to statements about antisemitism I worry might contribute to the perception that those against antisemitism are Jewish.

Antisemitism is such an insidious ideology. And it's everywhere. I see it daily in so many different spaces. It has the largest impact on Jewish people, but it also impacts non-Jewish people at times. I distinctly remember being mocked throughout school for "looking Jewish." I think about that Greek restaurant which was attacked because they were thought to be Jewish. Or that man in the Amsterdam violence who tried to help and was then accused of being Jewish himself. It's so deluded, violent, and manages to consume people's thoughts like a parasitic worm in their brain.

Anyways, I planned for this post to be more organized. Oops.

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Hiii prev.

I won't go thru everything you said because a lot of it is just responding to me for being spiteful. I am incredibly sorry about that. I hadn't eaten and I suffer greatly from pride. As such, I get offended too easily and felt desperately to defend my orthodoxy. My faith is really important to me (one of the few things i feel secure and confident in) so when I felt like you were questioning it (which I understand you weren't), I felt passionately to defend it. That said, it was a failure to love you as a fellow image of God, and as you are my sibling in Christ it was also a betrayal. For that I am deeply sorry. Please forgive me.

Nuance: I do stand by the thought that it's a bit of a leap to say I was denying the eternity of hell based off of me saying that "some Christians" had that view. I understand how so many came to that conclusion, but still.

I am answering your ask; almost done, doing lots of editing so it's clear, concise, and coherent (which it still likely won't be lol. trying most of all not to be confusing)

On the eternal/temporary nature of hell: whether I think it's valid or not depends on the person. There are liberals who simply do not care what the bible says and will believe whatever they wish; their position is not valid. But, for the Christian who, when looking at the Greek, and contemplating the biblical narrative, as well as the history of interpretive tradition, asserts that hell is purgatorial (which I think is more accurate and helpful to say then temporary) I don't think it's fair to say unbiblical. From my perspective the Eastern Orthodox perspective on hell seems unbiblical. How could heaven and hell be the same place? But, thru conversation with an E.O. i know that it is deeply theologically sound, even if i disagree with it (think it's more sound than typical low church protestant fiery torment views of hell tho). My initial reaction of "that is unbiblical" is simply because I grew up in an environment completely opposite. I feel like I'm rambling; my main point is that I think I would need to talk with a purgatorial universalist about it before I could say it's unbiblical because even disagreeing I can see the philosophy and it tracks.

I am glad you liked my exegesis and thought it was "surprisingly sound" lol. Biblical studies is very dear to me and I wish I could go into it professionally. But as that's unlikely I settle with essays on tumblr

insane for parents to read the story of isaac and abraham to their kids like ok so would you also kill me if god asked you to, dad?

[riririnnnn]

I have this foreboding feeling that while we are prepared for Sae's and Shidou's backstory, Nagi's backstory is going to sneak from behind and punch us in the gut.

No, I don't think it's going to be straight up depression like Kaiser's, but I do think that it'll hit close to home.

You see, Nagi got Laissez-faire parents which means they never really interfered with his life. Like, these type of parents—as I have read on some websites—will basically set their child free and let them do whatever they want with no or very few rules/restrictions. They will not tell you, "Oh! You should do this!" or "Oh! You shouldn't do this!" They will simply let you figure out your life all by yourself.

I'm not an expert on this and I'm not calling this type of parenting bad in any way. Every child is different with different needs, and I'm sure there are many who grew up in this kinda family and liked this parenting method. However, I do think that Nagi didn't like it that much, and I got two reasons to think this way:

1. "That's nice."

When Reo said that his family constantly meddles in his life, Nagi's immediate reaction was, "That's nice" instead of being surprised or disgruntled. If Nagi really liked his parents NOT meddling in his life, then he should've said something like, "Really!? Sucks to be you, Reo. I can't imagine living a life like that!"

You getting me?

Also, we all know how Nagi is—he definitely feels that telling someone to do or not to do something is a hassle, so he, probably, feels that if someone is doing all this for you, then you are important for them.

And before any one says, no, I don't think Nagi was tying up his tongue thinking, "They are his parents. They wouldn't want anything bad for their own child, right? I shouldn't say anything against them and should say good things about them just to be safe." I don't think he has this kind of filter in him.

2. "Don't die ."

So, why would you not want someone to die? Of course, because you care for them and want them to be with you.

"Want"

That's really what I'm tryna highlight.

It's a pretty common knowledge that some children are just naturally more independent while others are a bit more dependent and seek guidance from the elders. Considering Nagi's first reaction to knowing about Reo's parents' meddling, I think that Kiddo!Nagi falls into the latter category—someone who likes to be guided and helped by the adults. Now, place Kiddo!Nagi with his Laissez-faire parents... You are getting where I'm going with this one?

That's why I think that Kiddo!Nagi, probably, thought that his parents didn't love him/care for him. And what happens if someone doesn't love you or care for you? Yeah, they don't care if you die which, somewhat, explains why Older!Nagi was happy to hear, "Don't die [before us (probably)]" from his parents.

I have already talked about his potential backstory before too, so it was actually when I heard he had longer bangs as a child that made my head turn to him again—something felt odd.

I understand that having long bangs is not a big deal—Niko's bangs literally cover his eyes, but having it as a kid is way different, y'know. Once you are like 12-13, you somewhat become capable of doing your own hair and clothes by yourself, so you can manage whatever aesthetics you prefer. However, for a kid younger than that, it's the parents' responsibility to look after his/her hair and clothes, and we all know that long bangs are quite bothersome—blocks our vision, sometimes stabs the eyes, and even irritatingly itches the nose.

All in all, till his backstory drops, I'd firmly believe that he was, though unintentionally, a neglected kid—at least, emotionally.

Now I can't get this image out of my head where Kiddo!Nagi is longingly staring at other kids in a park where everyone is learning things like riding a bicycle or maybe playing baseball and stuff with their parents while he is just.. there, probably, all alone.

[chaiwithmybeloved]

Pairing: Nanami Kento x reader.

Description: Hitting (on) a stranger with a shopping cart was not on your grocery list.

Word count: 1k

The lights in this grocery store are too warm for your liking.

Too warm, too dim. You suppose it goes well with the aesthetic of the brand but it's almost fucking impossible to check the fine print on the imported pistachio spread that you've been holding for the last 15 minutes.

You cannot risk buying something so expensive without knowing when it expires. You grimace at the amount of produce in your cart that's going to cost a chunk of your paycheck and put the jar back on the shelf saying a silent goodbye.

Steering the trolley to the front of the store, the angel on your shoulder scolds you for thinking it was good idea to visit a gourmet grocery store.

In your defense, this place wasn't your first choice either. The regular grocery store was 5 miles closer to your place and handed out amazing discounts too, but—

"You're not going to believe who I saw at S-Mart."

"Was it..." Adjusting the phone between your shoulder and ear, your frowned as the layer of purple nail polish smeared on the skin of your toe. "...your biochem crush?"

Your friend sighs, "I wish. It was your ex-situationship, though. Anyways, I hope you've blocked him..."

Her voice fades and the carpet is stained purple.

No. You couldn't risk running into him, even if that's all you've wanted. So, you drive— 20 minutes out of your way— to be as far as possible from the bittersweet memories of the ice cream isle.

You almost hit someone with your cart. Panic sets inside you. What if it's some rich snob who would set their lawyers on you like a pack of dogs? It wasn't your fault the wheels were wobbly!

"I'm so sorry," you bend quickly, to pick up the fruit that had slipped from their hand. As you stand straight, a pair of formal shoes, khaki pants, a half tucked blue shirt and a loose tie meets your eyes.

"It's alright," the smooth voice has you looking up faster than your brain can process. "No harm done." Thin lips, gentle crook of his nose where a pair of spectacles rest, hiding his beautiful brown, maybe a little tired, eyes.

The devil on your shoulder calls you an embarrassment. You hold out your hand and he takes the apple, adding it to his cart. "Thank you."

A number of wooden carts are arranged before you, each containing different colours and varieties of apples; Fuji, Gala, Honey crisp, Kashmir—

Reaching out for the Granny Smith, you're impressed with how big they are. Instinctively, you smell them: sweet yet tart.

You add one to your shopping cart, eager to go home and taste it. The last batch your vendor had brought were pathetic—

"Excuse me, would you mind picking them out for me. I can't tell the good one's apart." The man asks, showing you his selection. Small and weirdly round with red streaks.

"Calville Blanc?"

He nods, "I've read that they have a high amount of Vitamin C."

You try not to fall on your knees. Beautiful and intelligent? Maybe gourmet grocery stores weren't so bad after all.

"They do," you select a few from the paper bag and replace them with better quality ones. "But if you're looking for Vitamin C, citrus fruits are the best."

He doesn't reply. Not for a whole minute. "My son—"

Oh. OH.

The angel slaps her forehead. You wanted to suck off a married man!

He doesn't have a ring. The devil makes a fair point.

"—doesn't like oranges. Or anything orange flavored. I've been trying to get his Vitamin C levels up."

"Does he like lemonade?" You try to maintain a normal conversation. He looks pretty young to have a child.

"Yeah," The stranger nods. "Will that help?"

You nod and hands rest on the handle of your shopping cart, feeling dirty for lusting after a married man. "It would be more pocket friendly than spending...5,499 ¥— shit, that's pricey."

Great, now he thinks you're broke. Clumsy and broke.

The man laughs and you get a warm feeling in your stomach. "That was my first thought too."

Two of you make it to the check out counter, standing behind an older, definitely richer, woman. Her cart is full, to the brim and the cashier looks like they're in pain.

"How old is he?" You ask. The blond falls for the marketing gimmicks, taking a cartoon keychain off the rack.

"Turns six, soon."

"If he's fond of apples, you could buy regular ones and squeeze some lemon juice on them."

The man nods, "Thank you. He's a picky eater but—"

"Every child is."

"Exactly."

You move ahead in the line and the cashier is relieved to see your minimalist cart.

"You should try Golden Plate on 5th street." A shameless self promotion. "They have customisable kids menu."

"That would make things a lot easier. Apparently, he hates everything nutritious," He sighs. A notification on his phone goes off and you get to see a glimpse of a pink haired child, smiling brightly with a floating tube around under his little chubby arms.

"You seem to know a lot about kids," The man clears his throat, unsure how to phrase his words.

"I know a lot about food," you correct him, looking back. "Sometimes I make meals for my colleague's daughter, so I know how to hide the greens."

The word tumbles right out of his mouth. "How—"

The cashier clicks some buttons. "Your total is..."

It physically hurts you to pull out your wallet and hand over the card. A quick swipe and you're being handed your paper bags.

The cool AC air greets you at the exit doors. Should you wait for him? The stranger has an unfairly gorgeous side profile as he unloads the cart items. You almost smile at the heart eyes the cashier gives him.

He doesn't look your way and you walk towards the parking lot.

The sunset looks prettier, the air seems lighter and like some cheesy sitcom lead, you hope that you get to see him again.

(Spoiler: you do.)

[anxious-lee]

|| Ridiculous Problems Require Ridiculous Solutions ||

A/N: me going to sleep at night knowing i write OOC tickles for serious media: 😴😴😴

Summary: Jayce refuses to get some sleep, but Viktor might have a way to convince him.

Word count: 1292

---

It's easier to scold someone else's lack of self-care than it is to work on your own.

When Viktor neglects his sleep, Jayce knows exactly what to say every time. "You can't keep overworking your body like this. Sooner or later, you're going to shut down."

But when Jayce neglects his sleep, he finds new ways to rationalize his decision thanks to his sleep-deprived daze. He pretends like he can't see Viktor staring ironically at him from down the table.

Okay, so maybe he was being a bit of a hypocrite. But these were special circumstances! They were expected to present a new Hextech device to the council in a few days, and they were running behind schedule. Jayce had tried to speed things along by putting in a few more hours at his station, but what was supposed to be "a few hours" turned into the entire night.

Viktor, as Jayce expected, was none too pleased. He insisted that they had already done more than was even necessary, and that any more modifications could have been dealt with in the morning. He even had the nerve to parrot Jayce's own lecture back to him.

"If you keep this up, sooner or later your body will shut down."

"Why does that sound so familiar?" Jayce groaned sarcastically. Regardless of his ill-advised choices, this machine still needed finishing, and that was what he was going to do.

He couldn't quite remember getting up out of his chair and making his way over to the toolbox, as the world seemed to blur around him, but a curmudgeonly voice brought him back to the present.

"Jayce, please, what you've done is good enough. Go home and get some sleep."

"Viktor, I'm fine, I'm really fine. I can still work."

"What is it you're reaching for right now?"

Jayce blinked down at where his hand was grabbing... thin air. Dazed, he spun around until he found the tool box on complete opposite end of the table.

Viktor gestured emphatically at the box. "You see? You're not thinking clearly," His voice changed suddenly into a compassionate, almost pleading tone. "You've gone too long without sleep. I'll handle the preparations today, you can go home."

"Vik, I can't just drop this now okay? I'm so close now. I mean think about it, what's more important right now: the amount of sleep I get, or proving our value to the council?"

"I cannot believe you're asking me this" said Viktor, sounding more exhausted than his partner in that moment.

Ignoring him, Jayce staggered to where the toolbox actually was, and grabbed a wrench.

Unfortunately for him, Viktor was not willing to let this go. He gripped Jayce by the arm clutching the wrench.

"Jayce, put it down. I don't want to need to use force." Although it was certainly a threat, they both knew implicitly that Viktor wasn't very cross with Jayce at all. But dammit, he would go to bed.

Jayce chuckled. "Not happening, Vik."

"Ehhhh fine. If that's the way it has to be" Viktor said, with something akin to a smirk in his voice. A smirk that usually meant trouble for Jayce.

A hand suddenly began squeezing up Jayce's side, making the scientist bark in a choke of laughter. It wasn't often that Viktor opted to play dirty like this; only when the situation desperately called for it. He was nothing if not a determined man.

Laughing freely, Jayce remained where he stood. At a new ninety-degree angle, sure, but still standing. If Viktor wanted to take this up a notch, then so would he. He'll laugh until his sides split open, but he is not losing this fight.

"Viktor, whahat the hehehelll!" He giggled.

"I have asked you several times to take a break, but if you want to go about this like a child, then I will treat you like one" Viktor teased.

Jayce could hear the smugness in his voice.

"I'm noHOt givihing IN!"

"How unfortunate for you."

The hand at Jayce's side was now climbing it's way up to his arm. Jayce twisted around every which way he could to try and stall its arrival, but to little success. He would rather die than admit it, but he truly couldn't help giggling even if it wasn't involuntary. The sensation, sparkling its way through his nerves like lightning through tree branches, was just so funny. It was pleasant, in the most unbearable way. He couldn't fully wrap his head around it, and he didn't have time to, because Viktor was still clawing into his armpit.

Jayce wasn't going to take this lying down. He started to pull away from his partner, hoping that Viktor wouldn't persist that much. Maybe moving away would be all it took for this tickly spell to be broken.

But to no such luck. Viktor could see his plan to move before he enacted it. Quick as a flash, he gripped Jayce's arm with his free hand, now effectively pinning him to his side.

"And where do you think you're going?" Viktor asked.

"Lehet mehehe gohoho!"

"You know what it is I want Jayce. I'll keep tickling until you go to bed."

"You cahan't brihihibe me into being healthyhyhyhy!"

"Bribe?"

Oh, fuck.

"Is this a bribe then?" came the voice above him. His voice was like a warm spotlight, exposing him with the softest touch. It was the same tone he got when something truly fascinated him; when his object of study surprised him and heightened his sense of curiosity even more.

Jayce's eyes had shut tight as soon as he realized what he had said, too mortified to dare a look. The tickling had stopped. Of course it did. Why would Viktor keep going after hearing him say something that stupid? He didn't even think it, it just slipped out! But he couldn't say that he was mistaken. Because he was having fun. Goofing off, having Viktor be close to him, playing with him-

Viktor had been quiet for a total of three whole seconds, but to Jayce, it may as well have been twenty. Then came Viktor's voice.

"Well, in that case-" he said, a little too giddy for Jayce's liking.

"Wait, Viktor, I didn't mean it like-"

A hand latched onto his other side, simultaneously pulling him in like an awkward side-hug. The other hand had surrendered the grip on his arm in favor of scratching at his belly. The frantic giggles that left his mouth were not helping to ease the embarrassment of the situation.

"How about this for a deal?" Viktor smiled, a gentle and adoring look in his eyes that Jayce could not appreciate, as his eyes were still clamped shut. "We go home, get relaxed, and I tickle you senseless until you're worn out. Sound fair?"

What didn't sound fair was how flirty he sounded. Jayce's face burned red, and he knew he couldn't hide it. He buried his face into Viktor's chest.

"I'll take that as a yes."

And with that, the tickling stopped. Only for this moment. Viktor's hands now cradled his husband's face, pulling it out from his chest and against his forehead.

"You make me so stupidly weak" he said, pressing a kiss to his nose.

"Which one of us has been laughing themselves stupid for the past five minutes?"

That got a giggle out of Viktor. With a final poke in the side, he grabbed his cane and turned toward the door, with Jayce grabbing their coats behind them.

"You don't think anyone heard us, do you?" Jayce asked nervously.

"Don't worry, Sky's not here today."

From behind the closed door, Sky took that as a sign to leave quickly, and she did so without a sound.

---

I swear I am actually going to write lee!viktor soon trust

[xvxblahhhxvx]

I wanna talk about Odasaku for a second, and his character arc in Dark Era

I love Odasaku, and one of the things I love about him is that he's not just there to be the friend Dazai loved and lost, he's a really deep character who grows over the course of the Dark Era novel, and he learns how to speak up.

I feel like his arc is mitigated in the anime, and I'm not going to be blaming it necessarily, it's just that a book written in first person POV is able to achieve a lot more depth to the MC over the anime , which is forced in nature to take a more third person, observational take to the character.

Dark Era spoilers, obviously.

The first thing I would like to bring up is Oda's personality, and for that, I'm actually going to start this analysis off with using a quote from Beast, of all things, because this was honestly the best description of Odasaku ever.

The best way to describe Odasaku's personality is obliviously perceptive. He's really smart, and somehow a complete airhead at the same time. When you read either Dark Era or The Day I Picked Up Dazai, you can sense this in an instant. How this pertains to his relationship to Dazai in particular is that he sees things. He knows that Dazai is hurting deeply, he's one of the only people who sees past the dark exterior and the child deep within, but at the beginning of the book, he won't say anything. He puts Dazai on this pedestal in a sense, and doesn't believe that his input is warranted, and he says nothing, even when Dazai is a walking cry for help. After listening to Dazai casually admit to a suicide attempt via banging his head against a hard tofu block without batting an eye, that's when Ango arrives and tells him off.

However, the conversation quickly shifts, and the matter isn't brought up again.

The next time someone tells Odasaku to speak up when he's summoned to Mori's office, and is greeted with a rather...bizarre scene. Still, he's a low-grunt of the Mafia, and Mori is the boss, so he lets whatever stuff is going on fly, until he eventually interrupts, ignores whatever was going on, and announces his presence. Which prompts the following conversation:

Still, it's apparent he doesn't take these words to heart, and continues to perceive almost everything, but never comments. However, something soon happens which brings to the surface just how deeply ingrained Oda's reticence truly is.

After Oda was chased by the enemy snipers, most of them had enough holes in them never to rise again. Until one picks up a gun and aims it at Dazai, the enemy executive, all other backup too far away to offer any aid. Instead of trying to avoid it or stop it, Dazai walks right up to the enemy and says , paraphrased "shoot me, please shoot me." The whole time, Odasaku's desperation is palpable, and unlike the anime, he attempts to stop Dazai from this blatant self-destruction by calling his name and then screaming it, thinking that he felt they were a million miles apart. After the ordeal, when Dazai faces his friend again, he offers all his excuses, how he knew the sniper would miss, but Odasaku wasn't satisfied. And this is where we get the first hint at how Oda really feels about this:

He wants to say something. He wants to punch him for the stunt Dazai just pulled, because he sees the truth. He sees the child inside of him. But once again, he's restrained by the apparent gap between them in rank and mind. Another important thing to note is that throughout the novel, Odasaku considers their difference in rank a bigger barrier than Dazai does. He makes comments about Dazai helping him, the low runt in the Mafia, but the executive doesn't care. Here once again, Oda is inhibited by this apparent gap between them, but this scene is also growth for him in the sense that he understands that there's a problem here. Earlier, he passively listened to Dazai speak of suicide, but faced with a barely disguised attempt, with the true demons inside of Dazai's mind, he wants to stop him, to reach out, to tell him that it's not ok. But he can't. Not yet at least.

After a later incident, we're given a flat-out description of Odasaku's philosophy, and why he chooses to remain silent. When the two of them are at the restaurant, discussing the enemy, and when Dazai realizes they might actually be a formidable opponent, he laughs, elated with the notion that perhaps he might be beaten. And that's when we get perhaps the clearest look into Odasaku's mindset:

There's a lot to unpack in this interaction: first, we see how much Odasaku truly cares for Dazai, how much he wishes he could rid his heart of the darkness buried deep inside. But the problem is, he believes he can't. He doesn't think he could do anything, at first, he's not sure what to say to him because what could he say? He doesn't think he can reach him. And then the all important line "What we see is everything, and everything we see, we ignore. All we can do is stand before the deep ditch between us and others and keep silent." The thing is, not everyone sees everything. He doesn't realize this. He's so oblivious, he can't even comprehend that he's more perceptive than others, almost like Ranpo when he was younger. He doesn't know what to do with the information he receives but to ignore it, as he says, to see the distance and remain silent through it. But still, he makes a halfhearted attempt to reach out, but is interrupted when Dazai's phone rings, and doesn't bring it up again.

The biggest turning point is the kids and Gide. Gide, who drags Odasaku, a character who seemed to have the healthiest will to live, into the darkness. By removing all his hope, his proof that he could one day write a novel and give up killing forever, he brings Oda down into the pit of despair that he lives in, the pit that Dazai lives in. Where the sun won't shine again, and all that's left is revenge and then death. This is where the tables turn, and now Dazai is trying to save Odasaku from that darkness that he knows all too well. He tells him useless platitudes, cliches that must have been uttered to him over and over that he knows won't work, but Dazai is desperate to save the one he's on the verge of losing. But Odasaku won't let himself be consoled, and he goes on the suicide mission to fight Gide. And only now, now that he's about to die, now that he's in this place of solitude and despair, that he reflects on Dazai and their relationship.

It's only at the end does Odasaku wish he would have said something. When he understands the darkness, he sees Dazai for what he truly is - a lonely, sobbing child. And it's only after this realization that he should have invaded the solitude does he speak up when Dazai arrives, and tells him to be a good man. Because he realizes that the darkness is going to overwhelm him unless something changes, and with his dying breaths, Odasaku gives over the advice that changed his life, not a way out of the darkness, but a way to brighten it just a little, and make living a little more beautiful. Something only he could understand, having tried to walk that path for himself. It can't be that it never occurred to him earlier that Dazai's mental health may have benefited from a...change in vocation, but he never thought it was his business to say anything before. But now that the darkness has consumed him, that's the final push for him to finally say something and reach out to his friend at the last moment before it was too late.

And though I don't think the anime did all of this justice, the parallels between these moments will always kill me.

[ajalholland]

Love Letters

characters: Zack Fair, Cloud Strife, Reno, Sephiroth, Vincent Valentine, and Rufus Shinra.

Scenario: Giving the Final Fantasy 7 men love letters.

Part one

(Y/n) crept into the male locker room, her heart pounding in her chest. She clutched the carefully folded love letter to her chest, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves.

Glancing around furtively, (Y/n) made her way over to Zack's locker, her palms sweating. Just as she was about to slip the letter inside, she heard the sound of the showers turning off.

(Y/n) froze, her blood running cold. Oh no, Zack was still here! She had thought everyone would be gone by now.

Quickly, (Y/n) ducked down behind a bench, hoping to avoid being seen. She held her breath, listening to the sound of footsteps approaching.

Suddenly, a figure emerged from the shower area, and (Y/n)'s heart nearly stopped. It was Zack, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. Water droplets glistened on his toned chest and abs.

Zack blinked in surprise, spotting (Y/n) crouching behind the bench. "Hey! What are you doing here?" he asked, his eyebrows raising in confusion.

(Y/n) scrambled to her feet, her face flaming red. "I...I just...um..." she stammered, unable to form a coherent sentence.(Y/n) couldn't help but let her gaze wander over Zack's exposed body, her heart racing..

Zack glanced down at himself, realizing his state of undress. "Oh, um..." he chuckled awkwardly. "Maybe you should let me get dressed. Then we can talk."

(Y/n) tried to avert her gaze, but found her eyes drawn back to Zack's muscular physique. She swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly dry. "Yeah.. definitely." She nodded, as she made her way out of the locker room. That was so embarrassing!

Zack rushed to his locker, grabbing his clothes and quickly getting dressed. He couldn't help but smile to himself, wondering what (Y/n) was doing sneaking around the men's locker room.

Once dressed, Zack made his way out to find (Y/n) waiting nervously by the exit. He approached her with a playful smirk. "So, what was that all about, (Y/n)?"

(Y/n) fidgeted nervously, her face still bright red. "I... I have something for you," she mumbled, holding out the letter.

Zack took the envelope, his brow furrowing in confusion. "What is this?"

"Just... just read it, okay?" (Y/n) whispered, averting her gaze.

Curious, Zack opened the letter and began to read. As he did, his eyes widened in surprise. His heart began to race as he realized what the letter said.(Y/n) was confessing her feelings for him.

Zack looked up at (Y/n), his expression softening. "(Y/n), I... wow. I had no idea you felt this way."

(Y/n) peeked up at him shyly. "Do you... do you feel the same?"

Zack stepped closer, gently taking (Y/n)'s hands in his. "I've liked you for a long time now. I just never thought you'd return my feelings."

(Y/n)'s face lit up with happiness, tears of joy welling in her eyes. "Really? You mean it?"

"I really do," Zack confirmed, pulling (Y/n) into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you told me how you felt. I don't want to hide it anymore either."

(Y/n) hugged him back fiercely, hardly believing this was real. "I'm so happy," she whispered.

Zack pulled back slightly, cupping (Y/n)'s face in his hands. "Me too. More than you know."

As Cloud approached his apartment, he noticed a figure crouching by his door. (Y/n) was carefully slipping something under his door. Cloud paused, a curious wrinkle creasing his brow as he observed her. This wasn't the most usual thing he's caught (Y/n) doing, but he was still curious. He cleared his throat, announcing his presence. "What are you doing, (Y/n)?"

(Y/n) snapped to attention, her surprise mirroring in her eyes. As she recognized Cloud, her cheeks felt warm. "Cloud," she replied hurriedly, her attempt at nonchalance betrayed by her racing heart, "uh... nothing important." She tried to cover the discarded paper on the floor with her foot.

Cloud eyed the crumpled note peeking from under (Y/n)'s foot with a mixture of curiousity and amusement. He leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed as he regarded her. "Right," he commented dryly, "Because it's completely normal to drop things by people's doors late at night. Try again."

Her cheeks felt hot.. really hot. She hadn't anticipated Cloud catching her. Dropping the pretext of nonchalance, she huffed a bit. “Alright, fine,” she relented, her gaze dropping. “I just... I was leaving you a note," she admitted, the words spilling out reluctantly.

Cloud's mouth twitched with a hint of a smile. "A note, huh?" he said, a subtle lilt in his tone. He stepped closer, his eyes fixed on hers, not letting her off the hook that easily. "And why exactly would you be leaving me a note under my door?"

His close proximity brought a new wave of heat to (Y/n)'s face. She forced herself to maintain eye contact, despite the fluttering in her chest. "It's... personal," she murmured, the words escaping in a soft breath. "I just... there's something I want to say, and it's easier in written form."

Cloud raised an eyebrow. "Personal, huh?" he echoed, a hint of intrigue in his voice. He glanced at the note on the floor, then back at her. "Alright, let's see it." He held his hand out.

(Y/n) hesitated, the idea of him reading her confession while she was present making her heart pound in her chest. But she knew he wouldn't relent without it, so with a resigned sigh, she bent down and picked up the small note from the floor. She extended the note to Cloud, her hand trembling slightly.

Cloud took the note, his fingers gently brushing against hers. The touch sent a jolt through him, but he kept his expression composed. He unfolded the paper, revealing the handwritten message. His eyes scanned the words, his heart quickening with each syllable. The realization of what the note contained slowly dawned on him.

It was a love confession...

Cloud felt a flutter in his chest as he read the heartfelt words. His stoic facade wavered momentarily, his breath hitching in his throat. He looked at (Y/n)'s, his eyes wide and a deep blush on his face.

"Is this... Is this what I think it is?" he asked quietly, his voice laced with a mix of surprise and disbelief. His hands, clutching the note, trembled slightly. They were good friends, yes, but he had never allowed himself to believe she harbored feelings for him.

"Yes..." (Y/n) managed, her voice barely above a whisper. "That's exactly what it is."

Cloud's mind reeled. The reality of her confession hit him like a ton of bricks. He couldn't deny the rapid thump of his heart against his ribcage, nor the way his stomach somersaulted. A strange mixture of emotions swirled within him. Surprise, flattery, but also a hint of panic.

(Y/n) anxiously waited for Cloud to say something, anything that could ease the tension. The silence felt thick and heavy, each second lingering for an eternity. She fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve, her eyes tracing the pattern nervously. As the silence continued, her fear that he didn't feel the same began to grow. She couldn't bear the thought of his rejection.

Cloud, seeing the anxiety etched on (Y/n)'s face, quickly snapped out of his brief daze. He realized he hadn't given any reaction yet. His words stumbled forward in a mix of surprise and genuine warmth. "I..." he started, the note still clutched in his hands. "(Y/n), I had no idea. I..." He ran a hand through his spiky hair, struggling to find the right words.

"Go on.." She said, her voice trembled with a mix of nervousness and hope. "Please, just... Say something, anything."

Cloud took a deep breath, his eyes meeting hers, full of sincerity. "I...I never thought I'd hear something like this, from you." His smile was tentative, tinged with a hint of vulnerability that softened his typically reserved demeanor. "Truth is, (Y/n)... I like you too.. a lot."

The world seemed to stop for a moment. Hope blossomed in (Y/n)'s eyes, and a joyful gasp escaped her lips. A rush of emotions surged through her, making her heart flutter wildly in her chest. "You.. You do?"

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, the relief was evident on her face. Her eyes were filled with an intense earnestness. She took a step closer to Cloud. "Really? You really do?"

Cloud chuckled, his usual aloof demeanor giving way to a more tender expression. "Yeah, I do," he said, his voice soft. He took a step towards her, closing the gap between them. "I really do."

Reno whistled cheerfully to himself as he strolled up to his apartment complex, the warm summer sun shining down on him. It had been a long day at work, but he was in a good mood, looking forward to relaxing at home.

As he approached his mailbox, Reno noticed an unusual envelope peeking out from among the usual bills and flyers. His brow furrowed slightly as he pulled it out.

"What's this now?" Reno muttered to himself with a smirk, tucking the letter into his jacket pocket. He headed up to his apartment, his curiosity piqued.

Once inside, Reno kicked off his shoes and flopped down on the couch, fishing out the letter. He examined it for a moment before carefully opening it, his eyes scanning over the words.

As he read, Reno's grin slowly faded, replaced by a look of shock. He read the letter through twice, just to be sure he hadn't misunderstood.

(Y/n) liked him. Romantically. And not just a casual crush - she was confessing her deep, sincere feelings for him.

Reno set the letter down, running a hand through his red hair as he tried to process this unexpected development. He had always thought (Y/n) as a friend, a cute and quirky coworker. Of course they had flirted before... a lot actually, but he never imagined she would actually like him the way he liked her.

Reno leaned back on the couch, letting out a long breath. He knew he needed to respond to (Y/n), to let her know how he felt. But he had no idea what to say.

Should he tell her he returned her feelings? Or pretend he didn't see the letter? If they started dating, how would it affect their work?

In the end, he decided the only thing to do was talk to (Y/n) face-to-face. He couldn't avoid this situation or put it off any longer.

Reno stood up, determination in his eyes as he pulled out his phone.

Reno quickly typed out a message to (Y/n). "Hey, got a minute? There's something we need to talk about."

He hit send before he could second guess himself. Now all he could do was wait for her response, trying not to let his nerves get the better of him.

Not long after, Reno heard a knock at his door. He took a deep breath, steeling himself before opening it.

(Y/n) stood there, looking adorably nervous. Reno's heart skipped a beat at the sight of her.

"Come on in," he said, stepping aside to let her enter.

(Y/n) walked in, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. She glanced around Reno's apartment before finally meeting his gaze.

"So, um, what did you want to talk about?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

Reno ran a hand through his hair, trying to find the words. "Look, about that letter you left me..."

(Y/n) kinda figured. "It's cheesy, isn't it?" She asked.

"Maybe a little," Reno confirmed with a nod. "But I just...I need to know. Do you really mean what you wrote? About having feelings for me?"

(Y/n) bit her lip, looking like she wanted to bolt. But after a moment, she took a deep breath and met Reno's eyes. "I do. I really do have feelings for you, Reno. I have for a while now."

Reno's heart soared at her words. He took a step closer, reaching out to gently take her hand. "I...I feel the same way, (Y/n). I don't want to pretend otherwise anymore."

(Y/n)'s eyes shone with happiness. "Really? You mean it?"

Reno smiled, bringing her hand up to his lips to press a tender kiss to her knuckles. "I really do. You're amazing, (Y/n). I'd be lucky to have you as my girlfriend."

(Y/n) let out a squeal of joy, throwing her arms around Reno's neck. "Yes!"

Sephiroth was surprised when (Y/n) came up to him, her cheeks flushed pink as she awkwardly extended a small envelope towards him. Before he could even respond, she darted away, disappearing around a corner.Puzzled, Sephiroth looked down at the envelope in his hand. It was obvious that it held a letter of some sort, and judging by (Y/n)'s behavior, it was likely something important.Curious, Sephiroth carefully tore open the envelope and pulled out the letter inside. The page was written in elegant and tidy handwriting, with each word carefully chosen and arranged.As Sephiroth read the letter, his eyes widened slightly in surprise, and his cheeks flushed a rosy color. It was.. a love confession.It made him feel giddy.Sephiroth found himself reading the letter again and again, unable to believe what he was seeing. A love letter.. from the quiet, composed (Y/n)? He couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement in his chest. Sephiroth had always quietly harbored feelings for (Y/n), but had never expected her to feel the same way.He suddenly found himself wondering how to respond. Should he go find (Y/n) and talk to her? But what would he say? He wasn't good with expressing his own feelings, not to mention he didn't know how to respond to such a love confession.

Sephiroth bit his lip, trying to think of a plan.

As he thought, Sephiroth suddenly realized something. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he had an idea. He quickly took out a piece of paper and pen, and carefully started writing down his response.

Sephiroth found himself strolling through the halls, the envelope clutched tightly in his hand. He was looking, casually glancing around for (Y/n). He had to find her.

Sephiroth's eyes widened slightly as he saw (Y/n) walking through the halls alone. He had been searching for her all over the building, and hadn't expected to stumble upon her so easily, but there she was, just walking down the corridor, seemingly all alone. As though sensing his eyes on her, her gaze flicked up, and their eyes met.

(Y/n)'s heart rate increased, feeling as if it would beat right out of her chest. Her palms felt sweaty and her stomach was twisted up in knots. As she met Sephiroth's gaze, her cheeks felt warm.

Sephiroth's breath hitched in his throat as he stared at (Y/n). He found himself completely mesmerized as he watched her, and found it hard to think clearly. He took a few strides towards her, coming to a stop when he was just a few feet away from her, holding out the letter he wrote for her.

(Y/n)'s gaze flickered down to the letter held out in front of her, her confusion briefly overriding the nervousness and embarrassment she felt. She gingerly took the envelope from Sephiroth’s hand, her touch brushing against his skin.

"W-what's this?" (Y/n) stuttered as she stared down at the letter, her heart racing.

Sephiroth's heart leapt as he felt (Y/n)'s skin brush against his, sending a shiver up his spine. He watched her for a moment, his cheeks turning a deeper red. "Open it." Sephiroth's voice came out as a quiet murmur, but was still deep and smooth.

(Y/n)'s fingers trembled as she slowly pulled back the flap of the envelope and pulled out the letter inside. She unfolded it and began to read, her heart racing with anticipation.

As (Y/n) read through the letter, Sephiroth watched her closely, his heart pounding painfully in his chest, hoping desperately that she would like his response. He became more anxious, fidgeting with his fingers anxiously.

After several long moments, (Y/n) finally finished reading the letter, her mind reeling and her heart racing. She slowly looked up from the page, her face flushed a deep red.Finally, she managed to find her voice again. "Y-you like me too?"

Sephiroth gave a slight nod, his usually composed demeanor replaced with a nervous, flustered look. “I… yes, I do. Very much.” He murmured, his voice trembling slightly.

(Y/n) crept silently into the room where Vincent Valentine's coffin was kept. She had a letter clutched tightly in her hand, one she had spent hours agonizing over and perfecting. Her heart raced as she approached the coffin, knowing that Vincent was likely asleep inside.

With a deep breath, (Y/n) carefully opened the lid of the coffin, just enough to slide the letter inside. She was about to close it again when suddenly, Vincent's hand shot out, grabbing her wrist in an iron grip.

(Y/n) let out a startled yelp as Vincent yanked her forward, pulling her into the coffin with him. She landed on top of him with a soft "oof", the letter falling forgotten beside them.

"What are you doing?" Vincent asked, his voice low and gravelly. His eyes glowed an eerie silver in the darkness of the coffin.

"I...I..." (Y/n) stammered, her face flushing bright red. She couldn't believe Vincent had caught her in the act of trying to sneak him a love letter. How embarrassing!

Vincent's gaze softened slightly as he looked up at the flustered girl perched on top of him. He held up the letter. "Is this what you wanted to give me?"

(Y/n) nodded, her face burning with embarrassment. "Y-yes," she admitted in a tiny voice.

"I'll read it then." Vincent  Vincent unfolded the letter and began to read, his brow furrowing slightly as he took in (Y/n)'s heartfelt words. (Y/n) watched him anxiously, her heart pounding in her chest as she waited for his reaction.

After a long moment, Vincent set the letter aside and looked up at (Y/n) with an intensity that made her shiver. "You have feelings for me," he stated, his voice low and rough.

(Y/n) nodded shyly, unable to meet his piercing gaze. "I...I do. I've had them for a while now," she admitted softly.

Vincent reached up and cupped (Y/n)'s cheek, his thumb gently brushing over her skin. "And what do you want from me?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

(Y/n) swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly dry. "I...I want to be with you. To make you happy."

Vincent's eyes searched hers for a long moment before he pulled her down into a searing kiss. (Y/n) gasped against his lips, her body melting into his as she returned the kiss with equal passion.

When they finally broke apart, both were breathing heavily. Vincent's eyes were filled with a tenderness (Y/n) had never seen before.

"Then be mine," he whispered, pulling her into a kiss once more.

Rufus Shinra sat behind his desk, his eyes scanning over the documents laid out before him. He was in the middle of an important paperwork when his secretary walked into the office.

"Mr. Shinra, sir," she said, holding a large bouquet of red roses and a card. "These just arrived for you via courier."

Rufus raised an eyebrow, his interest piqued. He took the flowers and card, dismissing his secretary with a nod. He set the roses aside for the moment, his attention focused on the card.

The letter was addressed to him personally, with a short, handwritten note on the front that simply said, "For my beloved Rufus."

Curiosity getting the better of him, Rufus carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the letter inside. He unfolded it and began to read, his eyes widening with each passing sentence.

Rufus felt his cheeks grow warm as he read the love confession, a fluttering sensation stirring in his chest. He had to admit, he was taken aback. Did (Y/n) really like him in that way?

Rufus continued to read, he was flattered that someone as wonderful as (Y/n) could have feelings for him. He set the letter down, leaning back in his chair as he tried to process his thoughts.

Rufus felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth as he considered an idea. Yes, he would write (Y/n) back. And not just any letter, but a heartfelt response that would make it clear just how much her feelings meant to him.

He pulled out a sheet of expensive, high-quality paper and a fancy fountain pen. For several minutes, Rufus poured his heart onto the page, writing about how touched he was by (Y/n)'s confession, and how he had secretly harbored feelings for her as well.

When the letter was complete, Rufus folded it carefully and placed it into an envelope. He then selected a few thoughtful gifts to accompany it - a bottle of perfume, a pair of diamond earrings, and a box of expensive chocolates.

"Please make sure this reaches Miss (Y/n) right away," Rufus instructed his secretary as he handed over the package.

His secretary nodded, taking the items with a knowing smile. "Of course, Mr. Shinra. I'm sure Miss (Y/n) will be overjoyed."

Rufus couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement as he watched her leave. He hoped (Y/n) would be happy with his response, and that this would be the start of something beautiful between them.

.....

(Y/n) was surprised to find someone knocking on her door. She opened it to find a delivery man holding a large box, along with an envelope addressed to her.

"Delivery for Miss (Y/n)," the man said, handing over the items.

(Y/n) thanked him, closing the door once she had the package in hand. She quickly set the box down and opened the envelope, pulling out the letter inside.

Her eyes widened as she read, her heart racing with each passing sentence. It was from Rufus, and it was a response to her love letter.

(Y/n) sank down onto the couch, hardly able to believe what she was reading. Rufus returned her feelings. He wanted to be with her.

She set the letter aside and eagerly opened the box, gasping in delight at the contents. The perfume, earrings, and chocolates were all items she would never dare to buy for herself, they were so expensive.

(Y/n) felt tears of joy prickling at the corners of her eyes. She couldn't believe this was really happening. Rufus Shinra, the man she had been secretly in love with for so long, actually liked her back.

She grabbed her phone and quickly typed out a message to Rufus. "Thank you for the gifts and the lovely letter. I'm so happy you feel the same way about me. Let's meet up soon to discuss our future together."

[goldensunset]

i looooove pokémon npcs whose team members subtly imply something about them that's never touched upon in the story or at least never outright said. i love villains having friendship evos. i love trainers who commit hard to one aesthetic or vibe with their team (beyond simply sharing a type) and i love it even better when there's one random exception especially if that's their ace. i love when later down the line someone boxes the cute fun soft baby pokémon they used to have in favor of a seemingly stronger or scarier one to show that they're getting serious. i love when they have a pokémon that's difficult to get and raises lots of questions about them. i love it when the lore behind a pokémon fits the character to a T and i love it even better when it appears to contradict them. give me the story-gameplay harmony but better yet give me what appears to be story-gameplay dissonance but might actually have implications if we're willing to dive deep into it

[trans-leek-cookie]

listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.

The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.

To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.

If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take

Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"

Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.

I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.

And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).

Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)

Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?

Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.

It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware

Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy

[dualnaturedscientist]

"He was nervous around you? Why's that?" Matthew seemed curious at that. "I feel like he was nervous that I wouldn't believe him and outright reject him. I already exchanged numbers with him so we can get into contact again after this. My parents never told me about him. Never have they mentioned another child of theirs. Though I can understand why. It would be difficult to talk about if it were true." Wordman flew about the city with the two young heroes following behind him. Atomic Steele had a thought come to mind. He stopped Electric Blur in her tracks. "Wait. Hold on. Wordman, I have an idea on how to find her faster." Tristan turned back and flew back to the two. Landing in front of them. "What idea? Would you please elaborate?" He was hoping that they would make this all the more quick. Tristan still had his spouse and brother in mind. He was hoping to rescue them from Miss Power before she does anything to harm them. "I think I know where this woman might be found. Or at least in the general area she could be found in. I believe that is trying to get back to the warehouse I found her within. Going by what Maddrix had told us." Atomic frowned, hating the fact he was using Maddrixs word for help. He still despised him with a burning passion, but this was more important than his hatred. "Where was this warehouse you found? We can search the area separately. Call me if you find her first. If I find her first, I'll bring her to you two." They both nodded at the plan. "We'll call you the moment if we find her first." Atomic and Electric Blur agreed with this plan. Atomic gave Wordman the directions of where Evangeline was originally found. Once he did, Wordman flew off. Everything around Evangeline was so different from what she had remembered. It turned her around for a good few hours. Hours she could've spent helping the others imprisoned within that evil warehouse. She will no longer allow Drake and Myra to continue with this insidious plan they had. No longer will she be Drake's obedient puppet. The heroine finally found her way back to where she was once kept prisoner herself. Evangeline was ready to fight with everything she had got. Even if she only got to free a few others. Though she was promptly stopped as a motion of blur stopped right in front of her. She stared at the man in front of her. He seemed to be a hero by the way he was dressed. Somebody to help her! That was perfect! “Halt! We have been looking for you.” Evangeline felt her heart drop to her stomach. Oh no. Was he going to help put her back in? The woman's expression became serious. “You found me but I am not going to be stopped so easily.” Wordman shook his head. “I'm not your enemy here. I believe we have an enemy in common if anything. I don't want to waste more valuable time by fighting you. We also want to free those trapped by those machines. I was told of their existence by another one. Atomic Steele who in turn was made aware of the warehouse because of his friend, Electric Blur. I would appreciate it if you would come with us willingly.” Tristan hoped that he would reach her. That she would believe him. “Atomic Steele saved you from a tube. He took you away from there but you were the only one he was able to save. We need to question you about what you know.

@ninjastormhawkkat

"Hold on a minute, some weird guy is staring at me. Probably some bum trying to get change off of me." Comments like that had ensured he would absolutely be relieved of guilt for what was to happen next. A smile spreads across the figure's facial features, revealing inhumanly sharp teeth glinting in the street lights. A hand quickly shot out, taking a hold of the rather obnoxious man. "What the hell are you doing-" A scream soon pierced the quietness of the night. It quickly became a horrendous gurgling noise. The cellphone in the man's hand had fallen in the process. Leaving the person on the other end to become worried and confused about what was happening to the man. It didn't take very long for the man to become completely still. The figure allows him to finally fall to the cement below, licking at his blood stained lips in satisfaction. "The night, it is still so young. I don't think I shall waste another minute on you." Like a ghost in the night, he had vanished. As if he were never there. Leaving only the grotesque mess he had made for others to find. Unknown to him, there was a witness to this who had seen the whole thing. Watching in complete and utter fear. The figure grinned, it was as if he were seeing the world through different eyes. The opportunities that awaited him. It sent a shiver of excitement up his spine. His thirst might have satiated but he wasn't satisfied with only that. Oh no. There was so much more he had in mind for this city. Just wait till morning until they discover his little surprise for all to see. It wasn't until hours later did he finally return to the house. Feeling pleased with himself. Carl shot up in bed, heart racing so fast within his chest. Calming down once realizing he was in bed with Matthew. It took the retired scientist to recognize his surroundings. "That's right.. we're at Gene's place." The dream he had woken up from was already fading from his memory. It was rather absurd, recalling what he could. He could've sworn the dream was incredibly vivid and felt so real. But the little bits of the dream that he did remember became fuzzy and distant in his mind. Carl wasn't as quiet as he thought. Matthew had woken up. "Love, are you okay?" His voice had brought Carl from his thoughts. "Matthew, dearest. I hadn't meant to wake you up." He frowned, feeling guilty as he wanted his husband to get as much rest as needed. "It's alright, I needed to get up early anyway. Don't feel bad, my darling. I'm worried about you, though.” He gave Matthew a smile. “It was just a dream. I was just startled from a dream. I don't even remember what happened in it anymore. I'll be fine.” Matthew pulled the other into his arms, holding him in such a comforting manner. Placing a loving kiss to Carl's forehead. “Even so, I've still got you.” The former scientist blushed. Matthew still had such an effect on him even after all this time. “Thank you, my love.” They had stayed like that for a good while. It wasn't until Carl noticed the time that he forced Matthew to get out of bed and to get ready for his community service. Though there was something that had been bothering Carl since waking up. He had not remembered going back to bed after his conversation with Gene last night. No matter how much he tried to, it just kept coming up blank to him. Carl sighed, he must've been that tired that he didn't remember. He was getting up there in age. “I could stay back. Margaret won't be very happy about it but I don't want to leave you if you're not okay.” Carl smiled once more. “I'm not going to be responsible for what she'd do if you tried. You're also expecting a new face there, aren't you?” Matthew looked surprised at that. He had completely forgotten about that. And Carl did make a point. Wincing at the thought of what Margaret might do if he actually did skip out on it. Though for Carl, it would've been absolutely worth it. Whatever punishment she'd dole out, he'd endure for his dearest husband. “Go get dressed now.” Matthew chuckled at that before doing as he said. Leaving Carl to this thoughts.

Carl still felt unsettled by the dream, it was like he was walking through a mist. Yet at the same time it was like someone or something was controlling his body and actions. The dream was scary, but also ludicrous. At one point Carl thought he saw someone who looked like his old narcissus ex boyfriend who he never thought about again until now. Carl just let out a sigh and shook his head. 'It was just a nightmare.' Carl reassured himself. He remembered how reading how the mind and senses can trick the body into thinking something is real when it isn't. His strange dream was just one of those cases. Carl decided to get out of bed and go downstairs. He was going to try and help his son and other son-in-law deal with this strange and frightening case of kidnapping. Carl pushed away the issue of the nightmare and headed downstairs, ignoring the feeling of dread in the back of his mind. Carl also did not pay attention to that fact that his mouth was no longer dry and that there was no glass cup on the nightstand when he got up that morning. Atomic Steele surveyed the area with caution and an intense gaze. He was going over the area looking for something out of the ordinary. Something that had bothered his friend and teammate Electric Blur. Something in this seemingly abandoned area affected Blur's powers. "I wasn't sure what just happened. It felt like I was suddenly communicating emotionally with a strange energy wave that was being transmitted from there. I felt uneasy and scared...but also sad for some reason." That is what Blur told Atomic when she came back to their hideout looking shaken and worried. She told him she never felt anything like that before, not even from the fallen B.E.A.W labs. Atomic Steele offered to check it out for her as the young heroine wasn't keen on returning to the spot. While Electric Blur was being comforted by her other teammates, Atomic followed the directions the heroine had given him to the location where she felt the strange and unsettling energy. What Atomic Steele found when he got there was a large but abandoned warehouse surrounded by an empty field. The area was surrounded by a rusted, wired fence. The place looked like it hadn't been used for years. Still, the normally brave yet brash young hero couldn't help but feel a child go up his spine. His gut and instincts telling him there is something dangerous here, something evil. Atomic Steele walked up to the doors of the warehouse. He grabbed at a rusted handle and tried opening it. To the hero's surprise and growing caution, the door easily unlocked. Atomic Steele took a deep breath and steadied his nerves. He then proceeded inside the warehouse in a slow pace, ready to discover what laid inside. "Oh hello there Matthew. Cutting it a bit close are we." Miss Dewey lightly teased the former villain as he just came into the library to start his community service. "Sorry about that Miss Dewey. I had some problems this morning but I'm here now." Matthew replied, feeling a bit embarrassed about cutting things close. He really didn't want to leave Carl and Gene alone during the family crisis that was happening but at the same time he really didn't want to test the limits of his second chance at freedom from prison. Miss Dewey gave the man a look of sympathy and concern. "You know, if there is a serious problem going on at home, I wouldn't mind helping you fill out some forms to request a temporary leave from your community service." The librarian offered. Matthew smiled in appreciation at her kind gesture. "Thank you Miss Dewey but I'll be alright." Matthew responded. "So has the new service worker arrived yet?", the former villain asked. Miss Dewey smiled and nodded. "Yes he is here. Matthew, allow me to introduce you to Frank Leigh." Matthew glanced over to the man Miss Dewey introduced. He looked to be a few years older than Victor but still younger than Matthew and Carl. He had dark hair and light, blueish gray eyes. The man gave a friendly wave to Matthew. "Hi nice to meet you." Frank spoke in a kind tone. @dualnaturedscientist

[wild-at-mind]

I feel like tags like these were inevitable on the post about people traumatising themselves for the greater good or w/e... There is SO much emphasis on posting on tumblr and other social media being so important and so useful and we must never stop. But I would like to counterargue with the idea that posting on social media (especially tumblr) constantly does very little/nothing. If that was true then the point here becomes meaningless.

[grapeskeeto]

big fan of aromantic kinitopet as an aro individual. now how do I reconcile that with selfshipping with him

[fionnaskyborn]

one day when i am not busy dying on the inside and out i will write an honest-to-god essay about how people are, for the lack of a better descriptor but simultaneously for the lack of a more perfect one, too edgy about five.

[strinkstuff]

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(⁠ ⁠⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⁠⌢⁠⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀⁠)

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[toygirljackal]

Fuck I feel so dumb

[traegorn]

while i completely agree with your assessment of realistically what a trump vs harris presidency will look like, i think the issue me and a lot of other leftists have is that there is no need to tell people (and effectively tell harris) that oh ofc we are gna vote for her despite these issues because trump is THAT bad and if you say you don't want to vote for her because her party is pro-war, pro-genocide, then you are condemning americans to a trump presidency. we know trump is worse! i don't want him to win AT ALL, but why would harris even consider even changing the language she is using (i'm looking at the absolutely stupid speech she was giving in michigan, given the large arab & muslim-american population there and given its a battleground state) if she thinks she is going to win on a not-trump basis? i know who i'm voting for on nov 5th if it comes down to it, but we need the democrats to THINK they are going to lose until the very last minute, we need them to feel like they can't just rely on being the lesser of two evils if we want any chance of a shift on palestine. because they very well might lose, for this exact reason (and i'm speaking again more to the votes of the arab & muslim-american population which is far more demographically meaningful than the votes of leftists) and if that happens, they have no one to blame but themselves.

So I'm going to tell you something important: You don't have the leverage you think you have.

Political campaigns are a machine that's been operating the same way for a long time on the Democratic side. The Republicans may have abandoned a lot of the old ways of doing things, but the Democratic party hasn't. And you've got people running these campaigns who are steeped in the "wisdom" of how you win.

And when a block of voters says they're not going to vote for their candidate, they tend to believe them. So they decide to go court the people who they think will vote for them. That's why you've seen the Harris campaign trying to court moderate Republicans who might be iffy on voting for Trump a third time.

Right now one of the reasons Netanyahu is refusing to commit to a cease fire is because he thinks Trump can win. If Trump wins, he has no reason to ever agree to one. One of the reasons he thinks Trump can win is because the polling is so close.

If you want to know why they've gone to the right recently, it's because they think they've lost the left. And since a lot of those leftists are claiming there's a line in the sand that they don't have the power to appease (because -- again -- they can't get Netanyahu to do shit right now), they're going to go for the centrist Republicans.

Also, there seems to be this weird notion that the only way to move the Democrats is during the election. That's not how you move people. You keep pressuring them during their term and it works. Like Biden is continuing to work on forgiving student debt even though he doesn't have an election ahead of him. Because they know that what he does reflects on the future of the party. Voting doesn't end this game, it's the start of it.

But none of it will matter if Trump wins.