#more perfume shit cause maybe im a freak idk

[blueberrybeomgyu]

perv classmate!beomgyu drabble *ೃ༄

+*:🍪:*﹤warnings : 18+ mdni, mentions of pillow/desk humping, masturbation, beomgyu kinda has stalker tendences but it's nothing serious he just likes looking at you, he also has sub tendeces bc that's the way my account rolls ong / masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *

classmate!beomgyu who stares at you from across the lecture hall, his pants tightening at the way your eyebrows furrow when you're focused, how your tongue pokes the inside of your cheek, how you carefully apply your lipgloss, and god how sticky your lips look after, it gets him feeling insane, but he can't tear his eyes away, willing his hips to stay still under his desk where they're threatening to grind against the air

and it's so embarrassing, he has to carefully choose a seat that's not near a lot of people, so no one has to witness his fucked-out state just from looking at you, but he has to be close enough that he can admire the way your hair frames your face.

you never look at him, probably don't even know he exists, but he thinks about you the rest of the day, in his remaining classes, in the food court when he's supposed to be hanging with his friends, and when he finally gets back to his apartment, he can't even make it to his room, nearly tripping over his pants in a hurry to get them off, and he collapses on the couch, hand stuffed in his boxers and fisting his cock roughly, daydreaming about the sticky kisses you'd leave around his neck

he needs you soo bad, it's gotten to the point where his hand isn't enough, grinding desperately on pillows, on the corner of his desk, on the arm of the couch, but it's never enough, even if he gets off, he's thinking about you again almost immediately, hard and insatiable

he starts failing his class because he's never paying attention, always distracted by you, but he knows you excel at the subject -- your answers are always right when you raise your hand, and you've gotten plenty of compliments from the professor during class.

he knows you take a minute to leave the classroom afterward, waiting patiently until the professor is done talking to pack up your things. you're never in a hurry to leave, and beomgyu wonders if you'd be that patient with him. he hangs around like he usually does, stealing glances to watch you pack your supplies, how you put certain things in certain pockets, and catches up to you just as youre walking out the door

he stutters around a greeting and almost forgets what he was planning to say when you smile brightly at him, glossy lips shining and tempting. he struggles to get the words out, but he gets there, explaining how he's been struggling in the subject, and wants to know if you'd ever have the time to tutor him. his jaw almost drops to the ground when you say yes kindly, that you can help him whenever. you give him your number, and he gives you his apartment address, and tries to act very normal about the smell of your vanilla perfume, so potent with you right next to him.

when you guys are settled around his coffee table, he tries to wrap his head around the fact that you're in his space, taking up room in his home. he tries his best to listen as you teach him, soaking up the praising words you give him when he gets answers right -- "you're so good at this, you have nothing to worry about." and yes, you are so patient with him when he gets them wrong, telling him "good try, you'll get it next time, yeah?"

you guys set up a date for next session, and beomgyu watches you round the corner to leave his apartment building for your "safety" but he really just can't take his eyes off you, and when you're out of sight, he's hurrying back into his apartment, claiming the spot you were just sitting in, nearly moaning at how strong your perfume is, still hanging in the air as he fucks his fist dumbly, imagining how you'd praise him, how your "good try" would be condescending, teasing if you saw the way he's been struggling to cum.

but the strong scent of you in his living room gets him there, pulling multiple orgasms out of himself cause he just can't stop, can't get you out of his mind no matter what he does.

✧･ﾟ: *

a/n : longer one for u guys since it's the weekend, hopefully next friday i can post a full fic cause im currently working on like four lol, trying to get on a lil bit of a schedule so i don't run out of content tehe <3

[letsperaltiago]

ok time to break my silence caused by the fact that i spent all day making this lol too many feels 

so.. palm springs thoughts !! and there are manyyyy so buckle up and feeel free to hit me up with either matching or contradicting thoughts or whateveer!! i would LOVE to nerd out about this movie with someone:’)

here comes thoughts and pictures!! 

we basically start off with a mr. samberg sex-scene okAYYYYY the mood is set. we love the view

nyles aka. mr. samberg is the most gorgeous man alive and it was a true pleasure to admire him for 90 minutes straight 

CURLS!!????! THEY ARE UNREAL. i shall dedicate an entire post to them

Cristin Milioti is perfect for her role. her acting? *chef’s kiss* I love that she’s not the stereotypical female rom-com lead.

Her chemistry with Andy? Gosh.. Can’t believe Nyles x Sarah is my new main movie-ship!! They play off of each other SO. WELL. Their characters are equally stone cold and bitter, but then again not really, and they both portray it so well!!

“You don’t ned a leg up.” *moans* “Hold my leg up!” i SCREAMED

“Don’t you kiss me.” “Don’t you tell me what to do.” hoW DARE THEY!

Ok ur basically on love already stop it

The fact that they were just gonna fuck on a blanket on top OF ROCKS?!

but then again in this movie’s already insane universe it’s prob pretty normal:)

The overall dark, existential humor?? This is what I live and breathe for on a daily basis. Basiaclly both main characters are a BIG MOOD

Nyles not giving a shit vs. Sarah severely freaking out in the beginning is an iconic dynamic

“I am the antichrist” and then the rock falling? For a hot sec I literally thought the movie was gonna take a turn with Nyles being some magical/scientific creature that’d created the timeloop or something idkkk ahhha

Nyles in the suit... ridiculous(ly hot)

The torture methods Roy uses on Nyles and the fact that he’s not mentally scarred?? How?? 

On that note I love that Nyles and Sarah keep their memories even if the day starts over. Would’ve been a completely different concept if they had to “meet each other for the first time” every day and it wouldn’t’ve allowed their relationship arc to evolve as it did 

Darla is the fucking shit 

Nyles in the baseball cap, amirite?

THE BARTENDER TALKING ABOUT HITTING A GUY WITH THE CAR SHE’S CURRENTLY GIVING NYLES A HANDJOB IN IS COMEDIC GOLD 

“You fucked Jerry Schlieffen?” “Well he fucked me.” Yes SIR. Andy Samberg’s characters are all bottoms and we’re here for it

Sarah’s tongue click and “nice try” when Nyles asks her about her sex life?? 

IDK WHY BUT SO GOD

Randy is hella annoying. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

THIS ENTIRE SCENE:

the fact that they both start waking up smiling because now at least they have each other 🥺😭🤯

uhm i love a good ship that’s like... best friends to lovers and the montage of them basically becoming besties killed me 

this outfit Y E S: 

sarah falling off the car and nyles laughing it off is relationship goals

the crashing plane I LOL’ED

okay so... big moment... the DANCING AND MATCHING OUTFITS? THEY ARE MY DREAM TEAM. Also how excited they are running away from the bar 🥺

IM POSITIVE THIS IS THE MOMENT NYLES KNOWS! LIKE HE DOESN’T ADMIT IT TO HIMSELF COMPLETELY BUT HE KNOWS 

the bomb in the cake and french pirate-skit? so fucking random but i lovee it because it’s so them

*DRUM ROLL* PERHAPS MY FAVORITE MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: 

STORYLINE WISE AND VISUALLY A++++

the deep talks by the fire were SO well written. they were actually deep and genuine, allowing the characters to grow and opening up to us as viewers but also remained fun and witty

sarah trying to get nyles to admit he cares for her and him joking it off??? the flirtinggg

really wish we’d gotten to know more about what nyles meant with “it drifts away: just like they all do.” because it really seemed to trigger something within him. Like WHO “They”???

the dinosaurs lmao no comment but at least they got a cute cuddly moment

from the very first millisecond inside the tent you can CLEARLY tell Sarah is just dying to do something about them!!!

 the disbelief on nyles’ face when sarah says “lets just get it over with” because she’d clearly stated he didn’t want to and even though he obviously did he’s respected it and not done anything further about it oh babey

we love some good making out:’))) 

NYLES HALTING TO TAKE IN THE MOMENT EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO SCREAM INTO THE VOID 

i will die for a post-sexy timez cuddle and how sarah is trying to staying awake to be besides him is just *explosion* 

this has to be *the moment* she realises 

and they’re both sooooo fucking happy when they wake up after damn love me like that pls

THE GROOM BOOO FUCK OFF CAN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO REMEMBER HIS NAME CHEATING SCUM 

THIS FACE:

Baby is trying so hard and is so cute and nervous about it. SARAH LISTEN TO HIM HE LOVES YOU.

HE FELT GOOD WAKING UP BECAUSE OF YOUUUU, GIRL. DO NOT CALL IT “FUN”, SARAH 

“Going to bed maybe just got a little better” 😭😭😭😭

The entire cop scene is just pure insanity, very Lonely Island and I’m here for it even though I just want Sarah to rEALLY LISTEN TO WHAT NYLES IS TRYING TO SAY 

“Pain is real” oh babey that means SO MANY THINGS 🥺💔

“I followed you into that cave because I liked you!” like jake would say: don’t love how we got here but we’re going where i want

“pretentious sad boy” me

not shocked that they’ve hooked up before because c h e m i s t r y but don’t like how it got out :)))

why is nyles’ one sleeve shirt rolled up? im triggered

drinking pure vodka? oh babey its gonna be okay 

WE LOVE A SMART BOI WHO RECOGNIZES HIS GIRL’S PERFUME 

Sarah’s parents singing:)) i would cry too, nyles

"I love her.” “I see... That’s interesting” lmao savage

I actually really love Roy’s character. It turns out to be very humble actually and he has some insightful and lowkey poetic that lines i love. Besides that he’s hilarious. 

SO the whole time i was wondering how they’d get out of the whole “same day forever”-thing, if they were to. and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they had such a logical way out of it: science. Not anything cheesy like “a true love’s kiss” or “you learned your lesson”. Pure logic and Sarah’s hard work to get there. Huge fan of this. 

I will never get over how good Nyles looks waking up and Sarah is xtra pretty in that scene:’) 

Nyles just wants to stay in a loop forever because it means for sure that he gets to stay with Sarah forever and I’m lowkey into it but also like lowkey LISTEN TO HER AND GO WITH HER PLAN, NYLES

“I wanna stay with you” *sniffles*

“I love you. How about that?” PRETTY FUCKING GOOD 

I love Nyles’ character development. He started off so nonchalant and cold, closed off and by this point he’s the softest, smiliest in love fool I’ve ever seen and Andy does it so good. SAMBERG HEART EYES!!

“Nothing is real in here” YES SARAH UR LOVE IS

I’m taking Sarah’s asking Nyles to believe in her and leave with her as her first “I love you” because it’s very clear that she wants to leave with him rather than without. 

just- this entire scene i ugh <3 <3 <3 <3

BREAKING. UP. WITH. MISTY ! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

glass of wine filled to the brim? sarah’s my type of gal

the speech was really beautiful and sweet without being too cheesy and kudos to cristin for really delivering it like a pro! especially her “abe, don’t fuck this up” like yes girl kill him, chop him to pieces with your eyes!!! also camila is such really pretty bride

nyles looks like a cockatoo here :

nyles taking the shot and smashing the glass into the ground got me 🤭😵😏🥵

“I’m your son” I SCREAM

GIVE THE MAN A WHITE HORSE DAMNIT

Gotta admit Sarah looks like a bomb (lol nu pun intended) ass super hero in her bridesmaid dress and C4-gettup 

The sentence ending up being total grammatical gibberish but Nyles trying so. damn. hard is the sweetest thing ever and should and will go down in rom-com history. It’s super romantic but also well-balanced by humor and I just.. so good. This is the kind of characters and relationships I love and wanna write myself 

“you’re my favorite person that i’ve ever met” 🥺🥺🥺

“i’d rather die with you than live in this world without you” WHY AM I SO SINGLE SOMEONE LOVEE ME LIKE THIS 

okay so idk but “what if we get sick of each other?” “we’re already sick of each other. it’s the best.” is so so so soft, the way nyles says it like it doesn’t matter and is honestly another key moment for me: they’ve experienced basically everything imaginable during their time in the box/loop. they’ve liked, disliked, loved, hated each other and still: he loves her. the fact that nyles knows no matter what happens it won’t stop that because it’s them?? ouch my heart. 

this chaotic mess of a pairing?MESSY BOMB BRIDESMAID AND CURLY-HAIR HAWAII SHIRT-BOI!! MY OTp

Them dissing Nyles’ mom on their way into potential death? that’s love, baby 

the fUCKING KISSSSSSS MANNNNNNNNNN!!!! SO ICONIC AND THE EXPLOSION IN THE BACKGROUND AND JUST WE DESERVE THIS THEY DESERVE THIS EVERYONE DESERVES THISSSS!!! 

NEVER OVEER THIS EVER FOREVER NEVER

Ok so I was SURE that when it faded to black that it was done and I grew super ficking frustrated because it would leave us with this “the ending is up to whatever you chose”-kinda thing kinda a la Celeste and Jesse where it just feels unresolved and I WASN’T OKAY WITH THAT. So I’m so happy we got to know that it worked and the bebes will live happuilly ever after with Nyles’ shaggy dog:’) 

Their hands on each other’s knee >>>>>

all in all 100000/10 

[neuropathicgypsy]

I text my younger brother today to congratulate him on his one year out of the penitentiary. He told my parents at dinner. It made them all really happy. It literally took less than a minute to send... Took longer to realize it had been a year... I'd been seeing pictures... And I always have to make room on my phone and I refuse to delete the videos of the day he was last released.. So I was four days late... But what's more is that no one else realized. And that's what they talked about at dinner. My dad Sounded all young and happy... Then for some reason we remembered this time that my brother had a girlfriend he would skip school with... I didn't know because I didn't go to school but I didn't stay at home... Until I just couldn't handle my schedule of going to literally three different schools a day, ranging from high school to vocational to University classes. And working as a waitress. I had had pnoumonia for weeks and no one had noticed... So I decided to just stay in bed and hope no one noticed. But I got up and went out the back to smoke some weed and a cigarette... Then of course I had to take a shit and pee... So I went to the bathroom... It was an old house so the only bathroom was between my parent's and younger brother's room. So I usually went through my brother's room, it was closer and had more space than my parent's with their giant king size water bed and dressers and all. So I heard this girl "Chris is that you!?" I was sick and so I thought I was fucked up.. so I sat on the edge of his bed... I thought let me set myself up straight.. cause my head was fuzzy and clogged up... I knew wasn't no girl in our house in the middle of the day... Unless my mom didn't go to work in which case then I should leave... Before she knew I was there. So I sat to think about what to do. Then I heard her "Chris?! What the fuck are you doing?!" And I was all okay if that's my fucking mom then what the fuck is she talking like that?! Cause my father did not allow her to speak that way to us. So I was all fuck that and if he didn't go to school I ain't leaving to pretend I did. So I get up and open the bathroom door and there's some girl sitting half naked on our lavender purple toilet. What the fuck. Bull shit. Goddam if I didn't have to pee more just seeing the bathroom. "Chris do I look good?!" She stood up and put her back towards me and looked over her shoulder furthest away from me. Oh my god. I'm gonna hit this bitch. "No. What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" She turns with this shocked look on her face, covers her tits and screams. Okay that's not really nice... I should wait till she had clothes right?... Ughhh.. "I FUCKING HAVE TO PEE!!" "GET OUT, GET OUT IM GOING TO TELL CHRIS! OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE SEEING ME NAKED FOR?!?!" "because you won't get out" So she screams like crazy.. turning herself around and bending her knees... I shake my head and walk away to the phone... leaving all the doors wide open.. But then I was like okay if I call the police will I have to explain why I'm not at school? Cause I don't want to. And I'm high. Are they gonna find my weed? Cause I don't want to deal with that either. The phone was basically right outside his bedroom on the wall between the dining room and living room. So.. she comes out "I gotta get dressed!!" Okay fuck the police, I gotta pee. So I go through my parents room and luckily she hadn't thought to lock that door either. So I pee and flush and she's screaming at me that I'm using the toilet. Yeah and it's purple. And I wonder if she's just mentally crazy or if like she spread HIV in our bathroom... Like did I just accidentally kill myself? I decide I'm not high enough to deal with this so I walk through my brother's room to check on screaming naked girl whose all trying to get her shoes on... White tennis shoes. Who the fuck wears those? I figured it was some cheerleader... Where we lived.. all the cheerleaders were sluts... Not being mean, two of my best friends were cheerleaders and both ended up pregnant before we even got close to graduation. Whatever. It's kind of amusing how she's always screaming and then she tells.me she's gonna throw her shoe at me. Seriously. Throw it. Cause you won't. It's all white and shiny and shit like they're meaningful and not just shoes. "And​?!!?" The bitch does... Then runs across the room to grab it from the floor cause she obviously did not engage in actual sports. Cause she couldn't throw. I go to my room. I leave the door open so she can scream more... I look for my weed and I'm wondering should I roll a joint or get my pipe from the car.. And if I have to go all the way to my car, shouldn't I just leave? But oh no here comes this girl. I can't do anything she's in my way and I don't want her trying to smoke my weed Because I bet she will. I can tell she's like that. "Your room. I mean the room. It's yellow. You're not allowed to be in here. Wow it's yellow that's crazy. Come on, get out. I'll throw my shoe" So I just grab my weed and shove it in my pocket. Fuck this bitch. I'm about to smoke a big ass bowl. "What's in your pocket?" I stand at her and blink. I'm fucking pissed. "You better tell me or I'll.. I'll" "Throw your shoe?" I laugh "I'll spray this perfume. I'm sure Chris' sister won't mind!" I take it out of her hand as she grabs it from my dresser and I put it on the shelf behind her. "Where is he anyway?" "Oh. Well... You know... Getting some friends. Probably got held up in class" "And you?" "I'm here protecting this house" I seriously want to know who's gonna die cause bitch was stupid. Stupid can be dangerous. But she was scared. That meant ... The fucking bitch.. she was all spinning in her head "I'll... I'll..." Then the slow motion appeared... And her fist slowly went up.. I checked her.. made sure she wasn't gonna do her hair or adjust her tits or something. No she was fucking crazy gonna hit me. Okay first she was like a whole foot shorter than me. Second she was just bones. She looked like a second grader. Cause I know by third grade even Cheryl had more tits than her (that was mean...) But she had gone through puberty via growing hairs as I had seen in the bathroom... Whatever. So I grab her by her shirt. Right at her throat. "Whoa! Whoa!" I paused... "I'm gonna scream" No she wasn't. She wasn't gonna scream two inches from my face in my own fucking bedroom with her clothes on. So I jerked her towards me and towards the door then I shoved her "get the fuck out of my room" I told her through my clenched jaw. And she bounced on the floor. Twice. "I'm ... I'm on the floor" "Don't get up" to make sure she wasnt going to... Because... When I saw her fall. That's when I knew she was dead... And it's that animalisticness we all still have not evolved from... It made me just full of rage and hate and I didn't want her to ever get up. But she did. So I threw a chair at her face. She started crying so I went out through the kitchen to find my brother cutting across the vacant lot next door. Good cause I was about to let his dog in the house to kill that girl... And maybe I should ask him if he minded his Great Dane killed someone​ that day. "Hey you're here!" "Hey there is some bitch---" But the house, I had left both doors leading out open and the bitch began to scream. So he ran in the house all "oh shit!!" "Great. Now he's going to care. Sorry George" I patted the dog's head... No blood today. I heard footsteps​ behind me so I turned around "No because I'm a mess. I've been crying and hiding from her because some girl. Idk who I guess one of your friends went into your sister's room and while I was getting dressed..." "You fucked her and then left her in here for me to find sitting naked on the toilet?" The dumb girl was covering her face cause apparently she didn't realize that boys know that it runs and smears and bla bla. Which was good for her cause she didn't see my brother totally bust into laughter. Then she started fucking yelling "there she is!!! Oh my god, get her!!!" That's it. I was gonna punch her. Right in front of him. Let him know what I thought about his little whore. "Sis!! Drop the fist!!" He ran between us. "Hey are you okay? This is my sis. Sabrina, tell her youre my sis. Come on!!" "Hey are we cheating or something? I mean what's going on here?" Cause I mean if it were me and some girl was all in my boyfriend's house acting like she lived there I would be all 'who you fucking and why? Cause I don't need this shit' "Sabrina!! What the fuck?!?!" "See now, that's what I'm saying" I'm very amused at everyone's insane reactions, despite being sick. I cross my arms and put my chin in between my fingers like it's really puzzling. But I don't give a shit. I'm sick and there's some freak freaking out screaming in the back yard and someone was gonna call the police. I lean down to her munchkin face and yell "SHUT UP!!" "what? It's the first time you said that to me! What?! What's goin on here? Oh Chris hold me!" She runs and leans her dumb head on his chest I just bug my eyes like what the fuck have you done now this is crazy kinda bad and I shake my head as to indicate I want nothing to do with this. "What? You didn't know this was my sister?" "No she threw a chair.. she didn't know me" I wait for their dribbling conversation to go and I smoke a cigarette. Really wishing it was a joint. "So wait. You never said who you were and you threw a chair?" "She threw a shoe" "You said I wouldn't. I didn't say anything about a chair. Oh and she threw me on the floor Chris!" And she Huddle's against his chest. I shake my head and roll my eyes and laugh... I guess to some people I would look like a bully but it was funny stupid. That girl was dumb as a sack of rocks. So I roll my eyes again as he soothes her retardation. I really try not to laugh. I almost want to cry because it's so pathetic but more like in a why can't they stop so I can smoke a joint way. "I'm going in" "No wait" "Look. This is a mess and I'm only waiting out here in this piss if you got a pipe" So he pulls one out his pocket and hands it to me. I always hand broke my weed as soon as I got it so it was always ready to roll a joint or load a bowl. "Here there's some in it" "It's cashed" there was mostly just Ash that I could taste "No don't dump it" Okay then. He's back to his wet noodle and I just throw in a pinch of weed on top of whatever he wants to keep in his pipe. I don't question other people's ethics of drug use. Whatever you want to keep trash Ash. I don't care. But I want weed. It's just a pinch, enough for four hits. My friends and I would do it when we all had weed... Throw in the perfect pinch, then every one got a hit, you, them, them, you. the next person in the circle dumps it and refills. We always did it absolutely perfectly. And we always used our own lighters. When one of us didn't have weed or was rolling a joint as Jennifer usually would, we would throw an extra hit so only Stephanie and I would load the bowl/bong. Because Jennifer would usually pass at least once. We had a system. My brother did the "pass the lighter with the bowl" system I don't like that Be responsible and have your own goddam lighter. I don't want my shit stole. So he tried to give me a lighter so he could get passed But no. If I had to watch that girl act like a retard that needs some man to.make her feel better because she's an idiot... Well. I was not sharing. Finally she admitted she was embarrassed and "only wanted to smoke weed" I kicked her ass. And I was gonna let the dog kill her. "Well here" I tapped her on her shoulder with the back of my hand with the pipe in it "She's handing you the pipe" "No I'm a mess" I stand there in the symphony of retardation... And I'm like so fucking sick and she is so fucking dumb. "Yeah well I seen you naked" My brother laughed. He couldn't help it. Then his best friend finally came up. "Here, Tim, help me load this, you got any weed? Can I dump this? It's cashed" "What is cashed?" My brother did not use my hippie words I got from Stephanie's Uncle. "Empty. It's all Ash" "College kids" he shook his head smiling "yeah Tim, load this" "Here just do half, I kicked her ... Ass... It was funny. Here I owe her. Here I'll give you some okay?" "I'm a mess" "And so? I'm sick and you shouldn't be smoking after me anyways so you're gonna need this. I touched you. On your skin" "Oh are you contagious!" "Sis!!!" He snatched the bowl from me "Well I was gonna smoke a joint anyway" I go to walk off. "But what about the weed?!" Okay my patience was fucking gone. If you're gonna sanitize the goddam pipe what the fuck are you gonna do with my weed?!?!? It was a metal pipe so Tim just let the mouthpiece up. After I explained to him that heat kills germs and he was pissed I spread germs on his pipe. Me and the girls never got sick off each other. But no Drama squad. So I gave them a half pinch and went to go in the house. "Well you can smoke, just burn it after you" Yeah then I burnt the hell out of tim's lip cause I'm like disinfect the shit. Make it red hot. And he ended up with some serious blister that looked like herpes from hell. "Y'all need to smoke a joint. Fuck that bowl shit and that girl. She needs help" "Yeah so do you" told me the retard. Seriously? Three more words our her mouth like that and I was gonna throw Tim at her. And of course she couldn't shut up and I did. Then I got yelled at!!! "All I wanted to do was pee and sleep and eat and take a shit in my own house without being screamed at. And you! You threw a shoe!! So what the hell are you telling me?!?!" Tim was both amused and pissed off. So I told him "now you know how I feel, next time don't ask to catch up" "College kids. You know she's in college, right? That's my sis" I walked away "Okay you can go in the house" I locked them out. My dad knew I had quit going to school for the most part... It had been about two solid weeks. He also knew my brother didn't go to school. He just told him that if there was trouble to tell him. So we all had family dinner for once. Denise was shocked I was actually home. And we discussed it after she went to take a shower... Well.. she was hiding in the bedroom, listening... Until she got shoved into the bathroom. Okay if you're not gonna do what you're told, hide someplace else. She for real walked into the bathroom, wrapped her head in a towel then sat on my brother's bed. #death "Not after the day I'm having" I grabbed her arm.. she for real tried to play dead. Like she wasn't there. "Get up" I told her in my clenched teeth. She for real was like playing dead. 'if I don't look at you, you can't see me' "DAD, this bitch---" "I'm going. I'm going okay. I just want to know what's going on" "I got beat up okay? I got beat by a chair by some girl and I think it was you so do you still want to sit there?" I checked to make sure she was naked and in the shower before I went back to the table where my brother was explaining the idiocies of the day. All my dad did was laugh. I just went back to bed. My dad admired us for not going to school. My mom went crazy about it. So she was upset and it made him happy. And he kept us out of trouble. And we were just like him. Fuck people. Do what you want. Be honest Be good. Don't start something unless you can finish it. He came in my room later and asked if I was okay. I told him I was just sick so he brought me some medicine and said that he told Chris not to bring that stupid girl over anymore. They needed to break up. My brother was pissed about it tho. Apparently he really admired me for working and going to college I didn't ever know that And he was upset that I was disrespected He was pissed what I did to Tim but I didn't burn his lip on purpose and I did give him a hug and apologize to him a few days later although he tried to intimidate me with a glare. And for some reason .... That's the memories that came up between the three of us tonight​ when my dad was happy that his son has spent an entire year and four days out of jail and out of trouble.

[methylparabenz-blog]

a lot of stuff happened that my moms psycho and just has to periodically be a sick person to me to try to make me kill myself again but it was ok in the sense that Jeffrey actually witnessed first hand what i mean when actually both my parents have always “treated me bad and sorry I’m the way i am idk lots of stuff” like “tanya wtf i didnt imagine it this bad how are you seeming ok right now cuz if my parents did this i wouldnt be able to handle any of it” and let me know that even though im somehow used to it, that he’d freak the fuck out if it happened anything close to that. And let me know he’s definitely here for me and hoped i wasnt locked out and text or call letting him know what happens ,,and so i text him and let him know i actually could go in the house but my belongings that weren’t hers, in the sense i paid for them with my own money, are broken and trashed all over my bed. And that i have to clean that up and lay in strong mixed perfume that were also broken in my room. But that’s not even my concern that caused any of my crying,, my mom took my dog from me and said i cant have her back. My dog. My bestest friend that sleeps cuddled next to me every night. i call her baby sister. And she kisses me when she sees me crying. she sleeps in my bed all day when im at work and says hello so excited when im back. I say “nigh nigh sleep rollie” and she runs in my room and curls up in my bed. i wake up to her sometimes waking me up, or me waking her up. but always giving her a face kiss and telling her that im so happy to be able to wake up to such a cutie love. She used to go everywhere with me when she could do long walks. sometimes i still take her to 7-11 with me and she actually knows what 7-11 means and automatically walks the way i take there. She always tries to get me to let her on a1a because i think she likes being around ppl that will give her attention but i dont let her go there any more cuz she can be a lot to handle, so she gets bratty about it and one time Jeffrey saw it himself and laughed about how it’s obvious i spoil her to no end. And i admit that i do, even things like sharing half of my food with her sometimes and stuff. But it’s ok to do because she’s getting old and i want to let her know she is my baby princess that always is the best friend ive ever had. Like the time i was crying over a guy, she was so concerned and giving me her confused dog look but then just kissed me while i told her thank you for always being here. And now im just sitting on broken shit all over my bed hoping ill get her back soon. so yeah sleeping in an empty bed will be hard tonight unless crying hard will make me pass out even though i hope if i never get my best friend back kinda want to never go outside again. Like really thinking about it in the way that yeah ill really quit my job refuse to eat anything maybe stop drinking water don’t take my meds only shower in painfully cold water especially in winter so it hurts cut deeper than what i need to feel that satisfaction tell Jeffrey that i dont leave my bed even for a coffin idk man i know feeling or saying these things are so fucked up but nobody knows how that dog has helped me be the happiest more than any human has or could I miss her so much and at least Jeffrey let me know so much about how it’s really bad that this happens like that to me cuz he offered to talk to my parents and let them know: I just really didn’t have service for about an hour and didn’t ignore the texts letting me know they wanted me homeless again and that I tried letting them know I’d do anything to be (dead) what they want me to be tonight. Probably really dead cuz they said that to me a lot before. someone bring rolliepollie back to me and id give you all my money or life if she really chooses to give her away to be euthanized. Because she said she would.