#more often than not we were all children or teens so i cant really hold anything against anyone. its more important to me that theyre not
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Same anon from before. I'm doing really good these days. Got curious about the old group and decided to try and look some of you up, lol. Sadly I know how it is losing a beloved pet. Mine passed last year coming up to around this time. Awful stuff. Good to know you're trecking through.
Ah I see, I tend to do that from time to time, just curious how they're getting on despite how things may have ended. I mean after all it's not like i want them dead, and honestly its nice to see how theyre going with their lives. It is awful stuff, I'm sorry you lost one of yours, I've unfortunately had to get rather used to it, losing at least one like every year so far since around 2020ish. but we live. Glad to know that you're getting on in life, with how much of a bitch it can all be its good to hear that people I used to know are doing good in their lives. Hell depending which friend group, we're all slugging along our early adulthood/early 20s, it's rough but if we're alive I consider that a victory. Thanks for contacting.
#pet death tw#i always pronounce tw not as like trigger warning in my head or tee double u#its always just. teewee.#Hope you're doing well and I hope your life goes fine man. I had a lot of friend groups so it's hard to place people but either way#more often than not we were all children or teens so i cant really hold anything against anyone. its more important to me that theyre not#dead#so despite not knowing who#not really like that would change anything#im glad youre alive nonetheless. life can be a pain in the ass and hey we made it farther than we thought we would. at least i did#knowing most of my old friend groups though minus the adults#theres like 90% chance none of us thought we'd make it to 18.#but hey we did so good on us#really though thanks for contacting#its nice to be able to hear from an old friend on good terms no matter how shit may have ended. glad you're doing well.#i hope the others you checked in on are getting on well too
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Pitch Pearl ATUS AU- Part 3
ahahaha. i finally came back to wite the finale. WOOOO. im still sorry about waiting so long oof.
where we last left off, danny had a dream about phantom, in which he tells him about the creation of the natural portals. he leaves danny, saying that he’ll come running back soon enough. when he wakes up, jazz tells him that sam and tucker have gone missing.
danny takes a second to process that information along with the dream and his brain just shuts down. he goes on autopilot, acting like he didn’t hear a word she just said. jazz tries to snap him out of it to get some sort of reaction but when she actually looks him in the eyes, filled with exhaustion, fear, and helplessness, she realizes that he doesn’t need any more things to worry about and goes to tell their parents not to bother him.
when she leaves, he blankly goes through the motions as he normally would. just like before this all happened. he checks his phone with slight hope that they may have tried to contact him, but after realizing he spent ten minutes just staring at it, he puts it away and doesn’t check it again. the walk to school is nothing but a stream of consciousness and he doesn’t even really feel awake anymore. everyone is just a blur while his brain refuses to process anything around him.
he gets to class, looks at his friends’ desks, and notices two cleanly carved DP symbols on them. it makes him start giggling a little, then laughing loudly, before he sinks to the ground crying out of frustration and overload.
a town meeting is called in the middle of school. the missing children line up with the new influx of ghost sightings and they want to check to see if any more kids have gone missing. someone points out the danny got taken last and the two missing children were his friends. others bring up the lunchroom incident and start pestering him with questions, seeking answers. danny waits for his family to quiet everything down before explaining everything from his first day in captivity all the way to last night’s dream. many people want to push the blame onto danny for painting a target on their heads and force him to deal with it on his own while others want to use danny as a bargaining tool to save their lives.
the fentons reject every suggestion and say that the most important thing here to do if to protect the children and find a way to defeat the ghosts now that blocking their way into the human realm is no longer an option. they explain that giving danny up might be a trap if phantom was able to kidnap sam and tucker but didn’t head straight for danny. he is told to safe and not try anything.
the GIW are called in to work on locating one of the portals and storming the ghost zone to rescue the missing children. danny is desperate to help and spends most of his time reliving unwanted memories just to give any form of information that might be helpful. after a while they send him away to try getting back to normal life as he needs a form of distraction.
at lunch, he is cornered by the other teens who ask if he is really just going to sit there and do nothing. danny is hesitant to lead more children into the ghost zone where they could be hurt, but they are determined and at this point, he is willing to risk it. after stealing a bunch of weapons from his parent's old weaponry vault, he finds a natural portal and opens it. they get sucked into it and arrive in the courtyards of phantom’s keep.
the ectoplasm flooding his system is mildly overwhelming but he pushes through it and begins guiding everyone to the dungeons where they would probably be kept. he notices while navigating that strangely everything is the same as it ws before he left, from to the decor to the guard rotations. when they reach the dungeons, sam and tucker aren’t there. it confuses him. he tries to think about where else phantom could have put them and a small voice whispers, ‘check your old wing’. its actually easier to sneak back to his old wing due to all the times he has snuck in and out of it. while the rest of the group aren’t so used to the routes, following him makes it a lot easier. waiting in the common room of the wing are sam and tucker, posed like lifeless dolls and dressed in clothing uncomfortably similar to what danny once wore, though less extravagant. their skin is pale and lifeless and their eyes are glowing
perched on their heads are silvery circlets. danny motions for the rest of the group to stand behind him. sam and tucker slowly turn to look at them and another battle breaks out.
its obvious from how they are fighting that while they wont strike to kill danny, they dont care about sparing the rest. the group slowly works out a system of one half distracting sam while the other go to hold down tucker and remove the circlet. as soon as it comes off, the glow from his eyes fades and he stills like they pushed his power button. with one less person constantly firing at them, its a lot easier to do the same for sam as she can’t fight them all off. dash and kwan take up carrying the limp, unconscious people and they make off with their battle spoils to the portal.
danny reopens the portal and makes sure everyone gets through, doing a headcount. when he is sure everyone is accounted for and out of the ghost zone. he thanks them and seals it, locking them in the human realm with him on the other side.
it takes a while for the group to finally tell someone what happened and they start fearing how to explain to the two dead to the world people who still haven’t woken up yet. they finally fess up when jazz drives by and asks where danny is. they silently just show her sam and tucker and watch the emotions flicker rapidly on he face. in the end she settles on heartache and gives a weak smile, telling them that she’s glad they are back but wishes they could have brought her brother back as well. she is more forgiving when they explain that it was his decision and they didnt have time to stop him before it was too late.
back in the ghost zone, danny stares blankly at the sealed portal, wondering if he should just step through now before its too late. just as he reaches out his hand, he gets pulled in a tight embrace as phantom laughs in his ear.
“What did I tell you, Starlight. You would come running back into my arms soon enough. Let’s go back home. You’ll find I didn’t change anything when you left. We can go right back to how it used to be before. Like you never ran away from me.”
he stays huddled up in his room for most of the time, only coming out when phantom wants him to accompany him on an errand or when he has to attend meetings with phantom. the faces are familiar. he made a few friends during his captivity and while the circumstances are grim, its pleasant to see them again.
for starters, clockwork was a common face when danny began getting incredibly homesick. phantom had requested danny be allowed to view the present of his ‘loved ones’ lives and he had spent every moment he could watching them throughout the day and making sure they were fine. clockwork also had hilariously awful puns, though they werent allowed to actually say them anymore after phantom got jealous and forbade them from speaking to danny. danny still carried the one-sided conversations and it seemed to cheer clockwork up from the decree. princess dora, now queen dora, was also a good friend of his, often discussing with him the pain of living with overbearing nobility. she had done a double-take when he approached her and sat him down to calmly ask what happened, though he could see the tension laced through her. after recounting she took a long sip of her tea and looked him in the eyes. she told a seemly random story of her exploring her kingdom and hearing a bard singing about how the mighty dragon princess stole the dragon king’s crown and the mighty dragon queen took her dear brother down. the piercing look in her eyes before she moved to a new topic told him more than enough.
the few moments of reprieve they offered was not enough to outdo the lappet treatment of phantom that allowed for no rejection, but it was something and it was all he could ask for.
sam and tucker wake up finally after being in a coma for two days. after scanning the room filled with their classmates, parents, and the fenton family, they quickly realize the only one not there that should be is danny. sam is the first one to speak, immediately yelling at them for trading them for danny and going off about how they need to go back for him as soon as possible. dash defends them by telling her that its not their fault danny closed the portal before any one of them could drag his skinny self sacrificing ass through it. they cant reopen it without him.
sam quiets down after that and tucker takes out asking all the questions he can think of to find a way to fix this. there has to be a way to reopen the portal.
(a cut back scene to danny interacting with phantom. im not good with writing abuse mixed with love very well so go ahead and use your imaginations okay uwu)
sam and tucker also end up secluding themselves and working nonstop on trying to figure out how to save danny. jazz stops by every day to check on them and pass on homework and anything she hears about the ghosts to them. while they start cleaning up the room to take a break and finish schoolwork, sam trips on a piece of paper and is about to fall. only she is caught in mid-air and surrounded by a neon lime green aura, one similar to danny’s though his is a bluish mint. the aura dissipates and she hits the ground with a soft thud but everything stops as tucker and her look at each other in shock.
“That was you!”
“That was me!”
homework gets pushed aside again for experimentation and documenting. they might be able to reopen the portal after all.
#im so nice to characters#look at my kindness#arent i so nice#i edited this#less typos this time around owo#sorry there is going to be another part.#there is so much#danny phantom au#Danny Phantom#danny fenton#pitch pearl au#pitch pearl#tw: toxic relationship#tw: brain washing#part 3#part 4 coming soon promise
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Who’s ready to lose more braincells thanks to Twitter? (CW: Pedophilia mention)
"I'm Alive Because of YOU!"
The Innocence of an adult with autism and his BFF Lost & Found EMMY ;)
Love You, Love You My Boo Bear
Mommyand (aka) #SMAARTMom
Meet My son Dustin & My Inspiration for Creating the Autism Welcomed Decal Symbol
Oh, decedents of men she loved/trusted... what a great idea!
To me, there's just something about what the innocence of a child would bring to that kind of a role. Or even a high functioning teen or adult with autism...
#WritingCommunity
Lauren, as a mother of an angel with disabilities, I would like articles about parents and adults with #Autism who share success stories. What makes a positive outcome?
Son went out with his grandad today amazing how are kids adults with #autism behave like angels for there grandparents lol.
As the parent of an adult child with autism I always tell young parents to never underestimate their child Our children CAN They are true angels sent to us by God
I worked as a parapro for three years and have seen people on every part of the spectrum- the way he spoke and carried himself should NOT influence anyone’s decision on their theory of his guilt or innocence. His demeanor is very typical of someone with high-functioning autism.
One thing I know about people with Aspergers is, they dont lie, they are often shy at 1st, but once they know you, they arent the type you ask "does my butt look big in this" coz they'll tell you outright that if does with such innocence & charm.
The innocence of people with autism is truly incomparable, it's their raw emotion that's sets them apart from the rest of the world.
@realDonaldTrump
hope you can meet Ganesh. #helpganeshmeettrump
Brother godbless ur boy.His curiosity is apparent and his calmness is heartwarming to see he realizes this isn’t going to hurt us.Autism holds a special place in my heart for my niece is also Autistic and any child,I see an innocence about them that makes me smile.Good job dad
You’re not alone , we autism moms are in this together and know exactly the heartbreak you are feeling
give it time and a lot of therapy Jenny, things will get better !! Just remember that his innocence is soo pure that he’s an angel here on earth for you
Not just autism but any diagnosis/disability. My saying is "do not look at my child w/ different eyes when u see him do something that's considered out of d norm" & also "don't break away his spirit because he can still see the Innocence in life better than you" -Margarita Rubio
Same here brother. My youngest son is autistic and I cant imagine how anyone..especially a "father" could do something like this My son has random seizures and everyone of them rips my heart out Autistic children have more heart & love than anyone on earth Innocence of autism
The ABC series "Love on the Spectrum" was / is a beautiful uplifting and inspiring work. The wonderful openness, hopefulness and general innocence of the autistic folk is a lesson for everyone. Love for everyone has challenges. I hope people don't use autism to express contempt
I love being around people with Autism. They radiate pure energy and innocence.
My son has autism and he is just beautiful in his innocence, thank you very much!!! He does not have black coal for a heart and not beholden to Satan
When Quamaine helped me with the snow shoveling. He was happy to help. I adore him and his innocence. I hope he knows that. #adultwithautism #autism #adultoconaitismo #autismo #quamaine #autismaunt #snow
Mothers of children with autism know their kids intimately because they cannot leave them with anyone. They protect their kids fiercely, because they are vulnerable due to their innocence
Sarah's effective portrayal of an autistic role clearly depicted the charm, candidness, innocence and frolicsome attitude of people with autism.
Autism. A neurological condition where purity and innocence collide to form an abstract masterpiece.
THE REAL CHAMPIONS IN THIS WORLD ARE CHILDREN LIKE KAYLENE. WITH AUTISM SPECIAL NEEDS & CHILDREN FIGHTING CANCER SO MUCH MORE LOOK AT HER SMILE SO INNOCENT
The people with autism can understand a lot of things very clearly. Autistic children tend not trust adult humans becoz for them they are constantly in movement which doesn’t allow things to sync with them. BTW they are fantastic human beings with a child like pure heart.
People with autism are the most perfect human beings on the planet to me bc they don’t bother a soul or hurt anybody an is purely innocent 💯‼️❤️
I have a soft spot for people with Autism. We aren’t worthy of their creativity, intelligence and innocence
I love being around people with Autism. They radiate pure energy and innocence.
Thank you
God bless you too!
I believe people with autism are special gifts and their purity cannt be denied]
I’ve been the happiest in my life being around people with autism. If you don’t have a friend, brother, or neighbor like them you truly haven’t experience the purity in life.
People with down syndrome, autism, etc, arent capable of hate, malice, greed, intolerance, etc. They exhibit all the things that those of us "normal" people try to be but cant. They're not equipped to be evil. They can only show purity.
I dont know, that's my take on it.
By living with people with autism, we are be able to regain the purity
True, but at the same time these aren't necessarily different things: pedophilia, anti-pedophilia & dumb-girl-philia can stem from one & the same mental trait, i.e. the idealization of childlike Innocence; which in turn is arguably a form of autism: other people can't have minds.
#Undateables #TheUndateables I adore this show. The pure honesty love and kindness of these beautiful souls blows me away
. Their innocence and hopeful view of this world is something that could teach many. Appreciate what you have
#autism #specialneeds #learningdisability
Which film? I love the innocence of kids. Every day my kids say it as it is and their attitude keeps me so grounded. We could all learn a lot from autism x
This sickens me 2 the core.Trump started this he is to blame. We are one let us not forget this. We need 2 learn again from our young who see no difference. My son with autism never sees any difference. Such innocence. The world will not change him .He listens to me I accept all
My son who has been diagnosed with #autism loves painting.He is lifting my spirits with his joy 4 his work he has done.Some he started this week & finished. R #Hamilton #Ticat #Football colors. Love the innocence its so grounding 4 me. Blessings 4 all you are doing
Pope john paul the second said children with autism were closer to god than any other. They have a innocence about them. We should take notice and learn from there how love and live
And now, some tweets from people who think Greta Thunberg is being exploited just because she's so passionate about stopping climate change:
If This Little Girl GRETA really has AUTISM How Terrible Easy For Adults To Manipulat Her IT IS A PARENTS JOB TO PROTECT THE INNOCENCE OF OUR CHILDREN IM SO ASHAMED AND SO SHOULD THE CLIMATE CHANGE COMMUNITY GOD FORGIVE HER PARENTS. THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THE DO
Democrats like John Kerry are using an innocent little girl with autism to feign innocence while the Democrats just voted to spend 738 billion dollars on environmental destruction. How ridiculous.
That's a good argument? Because it's what SHE *wants* to do? She is a child who does not yet fully grasp the perils of public life or climatology. She's also a child diagnosed on the autism spectrum. She deserves privacy and protection of her innocence. It will end poorly.
I've started to suspect she was selected for this job because of her autism. She can play innocence whenever someone publicly calls her out for the childish nonsense that comes out of her.
Greta is a 16-yr-old kid with autism who is being used by her parents & the crazy adults around her as a political pawn. She's not a savior. She's a kid who is having her innocence and anonymity stripped from her by a**holes pushing their stupid climate change crap.
I think she is being used. The fact that she has an Autism Spectrum Condition should be respected. She is very articulate and very focused partly because she is Greta and partly because she is autistic, but she also has the innocence of a teenager and someone with an ASD.
#climate change is real karen#autism innocence bullshit#autism#autistic#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#sweet and savage autistic
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Hydrangea - Chapter 1
The home was large and imposing. Located on the second largest island, in the Stockholm archipelago, it was connected to Stockholm by a bridge, which meant it was in the perfect location to quickly reach the rest of civilization whenever the moment was required -- but was enough out of the way that I didn't have to be bothered by anyone. The quiet location of the home allowed me the peace and privacy recent events, had made so valuable.
Upon stepping inside, I noted the dust that covered every single surface within the home; and on the kitchen table -- sat a magazine from six years ago. It had been a while since anyone used this place. It had been in our family for several generations, and although it was grand and beautiful in the summer, it was a hard place to live in the winter. Just heating it, was a small fortune, especially considering it had no protection or barriers to help shield it from the ferocious frozen winds, that relentlessly lasted the coldest months of an already savage cold.
My tiny Pomeranian, Max, took a moment to sniff around. He was as fearless as he was adorable, and I could only pray that he managed to stay out of trouble. Max was my loyal little man, and when i was at my lowest, he really helped me keep going. I had given up on myself, but I couldnt let my little Max down. I leaned down and gave him a quick back rub, before he trotted off to sniff around some more. I could only imagine the sensory overload all this was to a little city dog, that now had an entire new world to investigate.
I walked around the house, going from room to room, opening up windows to let in the fresh air. I peeked over at my neighbors house, and was pleased to see people were there.
Back when I was growing up, I would come here every summer, without fail. During that time, I had managed to develop amazing friendships with the children who had lived next door -- Bill and Eija Skarsgard. Bill was the tall and lanky boy who would always have scrapes and bruises, and absolutely zero fear whatsoever. Eija, was just as bold as her older brother. She never failed to be confident in any situation -- even when I was hesitant about something. In fact, if I tried to chicken out, or god forbid, not even try, she always found a way to change my mind. I was a naturally timid child, but they would have none of it. There were 3 older brothers, and although theyd often humor us, they were too old to play our silly games of pretend. But looking back on the events that led me here, I couldn't help but wish I’d stayed that sweet timid girl, that cried when i caught a fish, because id made its mouth bleed. Being fearless and passionate hadnt gone well for me.
These days, from what I'd seen online and read about in articles, it seemed that almost all of the Skarsgard brothers were actors. I remembered the father was some sort of artistic type, and was shocked his sons had followed suit, all but one of them, got so embarrassed by his unapologetic nudity. The boys I grew up playing "make believe" with as children, were now critically acclaimed actors. Not only that but beautiful ones at that! Bill had grown into quite the looker. He was handsome by anyone's standards, with his rich and dark brown hair, sinful full lips, chiseled facial features and penetrating green eyes. Looking at him in magazines, it was mind-blowing that this was the same boy that helped me build dams out of stones, or dig in the dirt for hours. I was sorry I'd lost touch with them but was too shy to reach out to them now that they were famous. That wasn't why I missed them, although I'm sure that's what they'd think. I hoped that the fame hadn't gone to their heads and that they were still the friendly, free-spirited family that I had always remembered them to be before I couldn't find the time to come back to this place.
When you're a teenager, you don't want to escape the rat race; you want to be in the thick of it. I was by no means a party girl, but I did enjoy an active social life in my teens, and all through college. I was obsessed with getting good grades and was a bit of an overachiever, so I kept myself busy. I was always aloof with boys because frankly, they all seemed more trouble than they were worth. I had high standards and was of the mindset that I would rather be alone than settle for someone perfect for me. Then I met Adam.
Adam appeared perfect, at least at the surface. He was naturally athletic and tall, attractive by conventional standards; and very funny -- as well as charismatic and successful. He honestly had it all, or so I thought. People, myself included, were instinctively drawn in by him. Adam could always be counted upon for a good time with a great story. He was your typical all-american boy next door that you wanted to do bad things with. It’d actually flattered me, when he took an interest in me, and tirelessly pursued me.
If I had to describe myself, physically, I was fortunate enough to be naturally conventionally attractive as well. However, I had a standoffish vibe. In my defense, resting bitch face is a thing that can’t be fixed for some people, but with every cloud, there's a silver lining. Especially since it's saved me from numerous creeps approaching me, and at least gave me the illusion that I blended in, and didn't draw much notice. I HATED being the center of attention. On a Friday night, you're more likely to find me at home curled up on my couch engrossed in a good novel -- rather than dealing with strangers and drunk people.
I had a very secure career as a business analyst, for a big utility company; so I was not the person you ever wanted to see. I analyzed our various departments and employees, to always be sure, we work at our most financial efficiency, and if I did come to see you, it wasn’t because to give you a high five. As long as I kept us out of the red, and looked professional and clean, they really couldn't have cared less about aging or being fashionable.
As time progressed within our relationship, I thought nothing of it when Adam got a new assistant at work named Alexis. Alexis had a lovely face and Victoria's Secret body. She was slender, and never appeared to have a single strand of hair out of place. A few friends made comments, but I defended her, annoyed people only looked at her superficially, and didn't take her seriously. I had suffered this same plight, my entire life, so I refused to acknowledge her beauty as anything suspicious. She was brilliant and tenacious, and her organizational skills were spectacular, and coming from me, that's quite a compliment. She also knew a lot about healthy eating habits and managed to share diet and exercise tips with Adam when he started to find it difficult to fit in some of his suits. I thought it was sweet of him to make a new friend, and treat her like a peer and looking back, I want to choke myself. I was, quite frankly, the most naive, trusting idiot on the planet.
It started simply; she would occasionally "forget" to give him some messages from me and once in a while laughing a little too much at one of his jokes that just wasn't as funny, or always would touch his arm or back or shoulder. Honestly, it was a tint bit annoying, but he had always been a handsome, charming guy, that made people feel comfortable. She wasn't the first one to be a bit too familiar, but at the end of the day, he loved me and wanted to marry me. I had no reason to not trust him because of her actions. If I'm honest, I probably should confess I am a bit of a reclusive type and am not very attentive or needy. Alone time is right up there with oxygen, for me, so I have to trust completely, or I’ll drive myself nuts.
If I’d paid closer attention, id have questioned why he started staying later and later at the office. I just assumed he was taking on more cases, that he had gained from all the free publicity when he had represented a notorious South American cartel crime lords son, and saved him from what was thought to be a certain a guaranteed death sentence. He’d still received a life sentence, but considering the 74 crimes had been guilty of, that was damn near a miracle! So, I didn’t mind when he had to cancel several dates with me. In fact, I was proud of him for getting more work, rising in the ranks of the legal hierarchy as well. Then there was his sudden disinterest in looking at houses with me. One of the most significant conflicts in our relationship had always been that I refused to move in together until we were married. Since we were going to be getting married at the end of summer, he had been foaming at the mouth to pick out our future home, but now it was like he planned on buying a house after we were married. I didn't let it bother me though, I figured that because of his busy work schedule, it would just be easier for me to take photos of the houses for him, and put them all in an online portfolio for him to review at his convenience. I even went as far as completely buying his bullshit excuse of "needing something to hold back his hair out of his eyes, while he was at the gym" when I found a woman's hair tye in his fucking bathroom. (Believe me, if I could go back and slap the shit out of myself --) :
It wasn’t until I received a call from my gynecologist with the results from my yearly pap smear -- that I was doused in the cold hard reality of what was going on. I had chlamydia, and quite frankly -- I wanted to cut his manhood off and make him eat it, I was so mad. I stormed into his office and burst through the doors dramatically slamming the test results on his desk in front of him. And you want to know the embarrassing part? I still didn't think it was Alexis.
“What dirty ass whore, have you been sticking your dick in? Who was worth throwing us away, because its fucking over.” I said menacingly enough, he scooted back a bit.
“I dont think you should talk about her like she cant hear you, for fucks sake,” he said looking over at Alexis who continued to work quietly and avoid eye contact with me; almost pretending as if nothing were wrong and she could not in fact hear me.
I was at a complete loss. I stood there with my mouth agape, trying to process this information, and when I could feel the lump in my throat rise, and the tears threatened to fall, I turned on my heel and left, without saying another word.
Looking back, I should have noticed several signs that something was amiss.
About six months ago, he became very concerned with his appearance; hitting the gym, eating healthy, buying anti-aging products, investing in several expensive wardrobe pieces, getting a new hairstyle. I had found it funny that at 30 years old, he was having a mid-life crisis. I’d tease him about it a little bit, and he’d just roll his eyes and say he wasn’t a natural stunner like me.
I’ve always been very low maintenance, but that’s because my body knows it has to keep it together because I’m not doing a bunch of crazy stuff to stay young. I’m totally fine with gray hairs, wrinkles and wearing my Juicy tracksuits that haven’t been in style, for a decade. There were better odds that I’d get superpowers than I’d get Botox.
I had been so blind. Such a fool.
When Adam came by my home to pick up his possessions he’d left there over the years, she came along and even had the audacity to come inside with him. She had this smug look on her face, and kept whispering to Adam and giggling. I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me but was a lady dammit... I held it together until they finally left, and as I closed the door and locked it behind them, I pressed my forehead to the door, willing myself to stay strong, but my legs got so weak, and the air felt like it’d been knocked out of me. And I suddenly felt far too heavy to stand. I crumpled to the floor, and curled myself into the fetal position, and cried like I, ve never cried in my entire life. Hysterical, slobberyface, sobbing with boogers, till my throat and diaphragm hurt, and then I cried some more.
My heart was broken. I felt like my life was over, and my chance at happiness had left with him. I sunk into a pretty deep depression and stopped cleaning the house and speaking to anyone outside of work. If it hadn't been for my loyalty to Max, I don't know if I would of left my house. I had to take care of Max tho, so I pressed on although I was a shell of my old self.
I’d torture myself looking at their social media accounts, with all their cute little pictures and sappy comments. I’d never been one to post 1000 pictures of my life or write to my boyfriend. I saw every day, professions of my love for all the world to see. I updated my Instagram maybe once a month, unlike Alexis, who seemed to update hers about once an hour. It was disgusting.
That’s how I saw the hydrangea bushes.
I always loved hydrangeas and had asked Adam if I could plant some at his office, and he’d always said they were too problematic. I’m an analyst, so rather than argue, I gathered various varieties and strains, what their strengths and weaknesses were, what colors were offered, how often they bloomed and what was required to keep them alive. I had presented Adam with the top 3 hydrangea candidates in folders that were the color they’d bloom to be, and was rather pleased with myself. He’d been busy at the time and handed the folders off to Alexis, promising to look them over later. I asked him a few times if he’d gotten a chance to look them over and he’d get annoyed, so I just let it go.
Now I was sitting here, seething with rage, looking at Alexis, posing next to a sizeable Bloomstruck hydrangea bush holding my motherfucking folder.
I don’t know what came over me, but I had to destroy that bush.: I stayed up all night, figuring out the best strategy. Finally, I decided to go by his office before sunrise, since no one would be around, for me to douse said bush in lighter fluid and walk away to let it soak in. Eventually, once they had arrived at the office a little bit later, I would wait for them to all be inside and then casually stroll on by and toss a lit match in the bush.
Burn baby, burn!
His office building was made out of bricks and the flowering bed was also encased in bricks; there was no risk of it getting out of control.
I jogged by, splashing the contents all over the bush, and then crossed the street to the parking garage, where I took the stairs up to the sixth floor, where I could see them arrive without being seen. People never look up.
It didn't take long before I saw Adam’s shiny black Mercedes pull into his reserved parking space, and imagine my surprise when Alexis got out the passenger side. I guess he was giving her rides to work now too, or maybe they even lived together. Frankly, I didn't care, but they were not getting happily ever after, with my favorite fucking flowers!
They kissed and held hands, in front of God and everybody. It was repulsive and so unprofessional. He pulled her into a deep kiss and then went inside, leaving her outside. What was she doing? I bet she was going to take some fucking selfies. She walked over to MY bush, digging in her purse. More pictures with the bush, but when she pulled something out of her purse, my stomach dropped. In her hand, she had a cigarette and a lighter. She tried to light her cigarette, but it was a windy day. Thank God, I breathed a sigh of relief until she huddled down into the bush, using it to block the wind and lit her cigarette. I'm not exaggerating when I say; she quite literally burst into flames.
I watched in horror, as she ran around flailing her arms and screaming completely engulfed in flames. Then I turned around, and I ran as fast and as far as my legs would take me in the opposite direction.
I want to give a huge thank you for helping me with editing @imaginationlane. She is such a good writer, and she took the time to help point me in the right direction and I'm very thankful. I actually edited something!!!! Yeah!!!
If I should keep going, like or comment or reblog. I welcome any comments, good or bad.
#bill skarsgard#billy skarsgard#fanfic#establishing story#hydrangea#fan fiction#multiple parts#my writing
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PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN (yes that’s the title)
We are surrounded by it. Is there ever a time when you don’t have your phone in your pocket? Everywhere we look it is Instagram this and facebook that. Oh you only got 100 likes? Guess your picture is not good enough to be showcased to the world. How many times a day do you think you look at your phone? How about a computer or any type of a screen? Every day we are constantly reminded that we are choosing to compare ourselves to the people around us. Social media of all sorts fills our heads with unrealistic expectations of reality. How do you contribute to society? American culture has evolved tremendously over the past few decades mostly due to the media and technology. My development as a young adult has also been heavily impacted by the media and it has transformed me into the savage queen I am today.
Can you even think about a time when people were not so readily available on social media? It boggles my mind to think that in the 80s when my parents were alive that they could not just call their friends on their personal cell phones. I remember growing up when I was taught to call up my friend on the home phone and say “Hello sir this is Nicole Bernier calling I was wondering if Naomi was available to have a play date?” And then I would wait patiently for Naomis Dad to go ask her if she wanted to bike over to my house. Nowadays kids don’t even talk to each other! The children I coach already have their own instagram accounts and get 3 times the amount of likes I do. I cant imagine being so young in a world of technology trying to figure out how they want to be viewed by society. Even as a young adult, I continue to waste my time stressing about how I want others to view me. We get here to college and expect that everyone has got their life path figured out when most of us have absolutely no clue what we are doing and spend more time on Snapchat than we do writing an essay.
When you turn on the radio there is a large chance that it will be some rapper singing about drugs, money or chicks. It’s tasteless how famous people want to present themselves by trying to promote bad behaviors. But oh no everyone loves Ariana Grande and Drake and how “lavish” their lifestyle is. How Nicki Minajs butt implants and Kylie Jenners lip injections are the new craze. Statistics have shown that the younger generations are more insecure due to the conveniency of social media and how the celebrities choose to promote themselves. The media can have a negative impact on certain people especially children because they often compare themselves with these unrealistic standards we are constantly surrounded with.
As an avid 50s music listener, I truly find it interesting how the lyrics of most of the songs are about love and romance or true heartbreak. It’s pretty rad how that is an artifact in itself and its so readily available to us all the time. It also shows how the music culture has changed over the years. Most kids I’ve met think my music taste is weird or what “my grandma listens to” but honestly in a world of people listening to the same genre, I like to be unique. I think everyone should give a good listen to some Dion and the Heartbreaks or Frank Sinatra and at least give it a chance.
So just a couple of months ago I had to go on a cleanse. Not a juice cleanse or a bath full of Lysol, no I mean I had to delete all social media off my phone because it was making me unhappy. Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly) the people I surround myself with told me that it also made them feel insecure and that they would be better off without it. This sparked my interest and I did a poll on instagram seeing how many people disliked social media and the results had me shook. More than half of my followers that answered said that they hated it. Why do we keep these apps on our phone if our happiness is not benefited by using them? I chose to be happy and after I deleted my instagram facebook and Snapchat I felt 1000% more productive.
Unfortunately I caved in after 2 months and redownloaded them because there was no way I was going to Europe and not showing the world pictures of how delightful my vacation was. I posted a whole bunch of fabulous pictures but in reality I was sick nearly the entire time so I couldn’t enjoy myself to the fullest extent. I posed and pretended I wasn’t hacking up a lung and I was thrilled to see that people “liked” my vacation more than I did.
Don’t get me wrong I’m the queen of taking pictures to the point where my mom is like “Nicole I am not going to be your photographer. Put your phone away.” I have to catch myself sometimes and remember that I am not living to please random people on social media. I am living for the experiences, for the laughs and the genuine connections.
Pictures were made to capture a moment but why force happiness to present a life you are not living? It’s almost like propaganda in a way because were only showing one side of how we live. Hey if you’re as happy as every single post on your insta then go you that’s awesome but most people can agree that life is not always just the happy moments. That’s the thing. Most people use these platforms to only show the attractive parts of their lives. It’s all just a game of comparison and perception. But who’s life really is the best? Are you genuinely happy in that picture you take on the beach with your butt hanging out of your bikini and Gucci handbag just so convenient placed in the frame of the picture?
When I think of media and pop culture I think of how my goal as a child was to literally become Sandy from Grease when she was all decked out in her red lipstick, leather pants and a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. I though she was the coolest person ever. I watched that movie on REPEAT because it was the only PG13 movie my mom allowed me to watch on my DVD player. Within a few years I was that kid who started smoking as a teen because I thought it looked “cool”. Now I’m stuck with a nasty habit that everyone thinks is gross because the media evolved to somehow make smoking cigarettes uncool but vaping apparently pretty dang cool. Guess I’m just a few years late.
When you’re young you need some kind of an idol or a person to admire. When I was a preteen I listened to Eminem and really resonated with his lyrics. His anger lit a fire within me and I became more and more defiant the longer I listened to him. I chose to be influenced by his freedom of speech and it gave me confidence to deliberately act upon my impulsive behavior. Parents hated Eminem because he got fame for promoting violence and presented himself in a negative way. I related to the fact that he was misunderstood yet also didn’t care about how people viewed him. As much as I want to forget 2008 me I will always remember how the music I listened to impacted my life and decisions at the time.
Speaking of 2008, I remember having a flip phone and trying to hold it still for about 4 seconds to make sure the pixelated picture did not come out too blurry. Now we have 12 year olds editing their face and their body on photoshop because that’s what the instagram models do. They wont ever understand how hard it was to type the s on the flip phones with no alphabet keypad. I was out here responding to texts hours late with one word answers and now here I am texting paragraphs like its none of my business.
Technology and the media is constantly evolving and shaping our culture into what it is today. It is changing so rapidly by incorporating technology into every little task and as much as I hate it I know that it plays an important role in who I am as an individual and how I choose to be viewed by others. People like to communicate with each other and that is why social media exists but there is a fine line between using it for practical purposes and allowing it control your life. To this day I struggle with using my phone as a tool rather than a time suck. Maybe Ill just pack my bags, and venture out into the wilderness to escape this crazy tech era. Hopefully they’ll have an outlet for my iPhone charger though.
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I was reading something about if you're having trouble sleeping tips to help fall asleep and one of the tips was about using a happy memory from your childhood which made me realise I do not have even one happy memory from when I was a kid. At best I have couple of very short fleeting images of working on motorbike with my father in this tiny little shed he had in the backyard.
Nothing that even comes close to something I could turn into a happy memory though, the first happy memory I can conjure is not until my early 20's but we will get to that shortly.
Do any of you guys have happy memories from your childhood? I highly doubt I am alone in this?
I'm really apprehensive about writing this in here but one of the tips is to write shit down so here goes, I can always delete it straight away.
I'm prob not going to go back and proof read this so the grammar and spelling is just gong to be as it comes out of my head and gets typed. I often spell incorrectly and have poor grammar on my first edit of things.
I grew up in a very low socio economic area and in a very low income house hold.
my mother was this really overweight, lazy, abusive, manipulate women that use to sit on the couch watching tv and smoking Winfield red cigarette while barking orders at us kids and yelling at us at the top of her lungs. I loved my mother deeply up until my early teens when I started to understand her abuse and oppression for what it was.
She was the type of women that would point out the fault in others or put others down to make herself feel better.
She was nothing but a pathetic little women that pushed everybody in her life and her children and husbands life away and out of our lives so she would never have to admit her own faults and failings.
The old man had two jobs and worked seven days a week. I don't remember him working seven days when we were very young only later on.
When BHP shutdown it hurt the whole of NSW really hard and I think the old man lost his job … I think that would of been the late 80's maybe.
I can remember they had to hide the car and we had to be quiet and pretend we were not home if someone came to the door because they were trying to take the house off us ( bank foreclosure).
So the old man ended up working at some marine company I think, working on the boats and got a weekend job working at a service station.
I remember one time he put his work shirt on (I cant remember the name of the company but it had his work company name, logo etc on it) and he took us kids down to the docks and told the guys on the tug boats who he was and where he worked and they let him bring us all on board while they did a run out to sea with a fucking massive tanker.
I remember him taking us down into the engine room and showing us around and then took us up to the kitchen and the crew gave us food.
I remember being blown away by this fucking huge ship that these tiny little boats towed out to sea and scared shitless when the tug boat went over on this crazy pitch at one stage.
Anyway I don't know why but he ended up leaving or loosing that job and went off to work somewhere else and in my early teens he cut his fingers off at work doing some fucking thing or another.
I have like these almost good memories of riding motorbikes while camping in the bush but we were never allowed to go anywhere on them. My mother would only let us ride them around camp or just up the road a little way and back, she never like us getting far enough away that she would lose control of us.
very very very controlling women, the biggest and most prominent trait I remember of her is her controlling us, she always had to be in control. I HATED her for that as I got older.
I have this memory of a little honda motorbike dad bought us that didn't go and he had it for years until we were big enough to ride it and then I remember working on it with him and his mate in the shed and fixing it up and getting it running.
I have this memory of working on another motorbike engine too that he did a full teardown and rebuild on. His motorbike that he use to ride to and from work.
I remember the first time I saw the pistons inside a v8 with the heads off, blew me away picturing all those violently flying up and down inside the engine. I think it was a Chrysler engine.
I can confidently say that beyond 12 years old I absolutely unequivocally hated even single day of my childhood without question. I DID NOT have one pleasant day beyond 12 years of age.
I was not allowed to go anywhere with my fiends or do anything at all on my own. I had to be home doing the washing and hanging it on the clothes line, doing the dishes, cleaning out the laundry of the dirty litter etc from the cats and dogs.
I have memory after memory after memory of all my friends being off doing this and doing that and myself not being allowed to go. I suffered massive socially at school because of it and never ever had a friend or mate until my mid 20's but I think I also never really made any connections with my friends at school and truly became mate because I was to busy secretly hating everyone and my life and I knew that if I did become mates with them the next time they asked me to come to a party at night or something I would not be allowed because of my mother and I would yet again look antisocial and like a weirdo.
I didn't start to develop a personality until around 17 because I wasn't allowed to be who I wanted to be or have my own opinion in my mothers house. chatting back after being spoken to was absolutely not tolerated and having your own opinion was completely out of the question. To this day I cringe every time one of my nieces tries to back chat or explain her point of view to my brother and he shuts her up and won't listen. it is really really bad to not listen to what your children are trying to tell you and get across their thought or what they are feeling to you. it makes them have to bottle it all up inside. You must listen to your children when to are trying to speak to you and / or tell you what they are feeling!!!!!
this made my teenage years the most stressful and oppressed years of my life to date.
Mother would sit on the couch and if we didn't have any chores to do or disturbed her in any way or prevented her from being the fat lazy cunt she was sitting on the couch she would scream at us to get out of the room or make up some indiscretion for an excuse to send us to our room.
My parents never once spent one on one time with us or sat down and quietly played games or did activities with us or entertained us and bonded with us
my earliest childhood memory is my mother jamming a cake of soap down my throat because I swore or said something wrong. I clearly remember the feeling of feeling like I needed to try and swallow this block of soap.
I think I was maybe 7 or 8 at the time.
I have really vivid memories of several occasions where my mother grabbed my brother and I by the hair and smashed our heads together for doing I don't know what wrong.
Is it the violence or the pain that makes these memories clearer than the others? does anyone know?
Maybe a question for a psychiatrist.
I have this really clear image of my father standing over me while I was lying on my back upon my bed with my knees up to my chest and my arms at either side of my head while he was standing over me beating the fuck out of me until I had an asthma attack from the crying and screaming and couldn't breath.
I remember how much more it stung when he missed our ass with the strap and got my back instead.
I have the most vivid memories of lying in bed listening to my older brother running around the lounge room screaming while dad chased him around beating the shit out of him with his strap and fist and the even more vivid memory of my mother screaming " hit him neal, hit him neal"
As I write this and bring back these memories i'm wondering if I should be crying. I am not. Is that bad?
As I got a little older the beatings became less in their severity and frequency because my asthma attacks started to get worse when he beat me and so he couldn't
I wonder if my asthma became phsyco-symptomatic because I knew he would stop hitting me when my asthma come on.
I don't suffer from it now.
My older brother called the Department of social service after one of my father's beatings when he had a black eye and was covered in bruises. I remember he had to stay home from school because of the black eye and all the bruises and he told me as I left for school that today while everyone was out and he was home alone DOCS where coming to see him.
They came back later in the week and took him away.
I think he was put into foster care initially and then eventually he was placed with my grandparents.
My mother cut off the whole family and I never saw my grandparents again. They died a few years ago with me never getting to see them.
I always hated that I couldn't go to the Christmas parties.
Mum could never admit what she had done was wrong in any way shape or form, everybody else was at fault.
Even my brother was at fault. My mothers poor parenting skills and the reason my brother acted out was all my brothers fault.
I had two brothers but neither of them were intelligent enough to see past what my mother was.
I was the smart kid of the three boys and I only really started to open my eyes to what was going on when I went to high school.
I went to a catholic high school and it was there I saw real parents that supported their kids and treated them with more intelligence and more equally.
I think the only time I had fun was when I skipped school for the day and went and smoked mull under the bridge with the pot heads from school. there is a kind of happy memory I think.
This one time we were under cherries bridge smoking cones and bubba ( guy named Rodney but everyone called him bubba cause that's what his mother called him due to the fact he was the baby of the family) got the munchies real bad and decided to eat one of the poisonous berries that grew under the bridge there.
Fatty (guy named Garth but he was a big boy and even called himself fatty) yelled at him " bubba what did you eat that for they're poisonous man " and bubba turned to me and said " justo am I gunna die now man?" made me piss myself laughing stoned as I was.
There we go I think I found a happy memory!!!!
No bubbas were harmed in the making of this story.
When I was 20 I fell fucking madly in love with this red haired / strawberry blond bitch named Michelle.
I stayed with her and her parents in their family home for a while and it was then that I saw a real family at work and it truly showed me the disfunction of my own.
They were not perfect but they were this supportive family that was not unnecessarily strict and spoke to each other with civility and respect in measured tones.
A grumpy but respectful father and a holy supportive mother.
Tho I had very little in common with either of her parents I entirely respected them and still do to this day 20 years and another life later. I haven't seen or heard from them in many years but I bet they are still the same people I remember them to be.
My early 20's were my happiest years to date. I had a real friend or two for the first time in my life, people I could call mates and I could go out and enjoy myself with them and have a personality and a life. I was in love and in lust. I was happy.
I think I made it through the 80's being to young to know if I was happy or not. I think I spent the 90's entirely in dread, all I remember is stress and hatred.
Actually I think stress and especially hatred sums my 90's experience up perfectly.
The early new millennium I learned what happiness could look like.
Who else remembers their childhood as a stressful unhappy time? we all have a difficult childhood don't we? especially our teenage years? or am I unique.
Writing this reminds me that even now I need to try and strive to find happiness and fun in life and try to produce the same for my immediate family.
Grab your kids and go make some happy memories with them. Do something THEY will wholely enjoy and remember as a fun day in their childhood.
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Why Bianca Spender is skipping Australian fashion week
I dont think I can capture everything I want to in a traditional show format, she explains. My runways are never straight.
Cut from the same cloth ... Bianca Spender (right) with her mother, designer Carla Zampatti. Last year, Spender staged one of the standout shows at Fashion Week, featuring a diagonal series of catwalks that snaked through the crowd. The critics loved it but photographers hated not being able to capture the perfect front-on shot. Over a shared meal of grilled whiting fillets, a dish of fregola with seafood that is like a more chewy risotto, and salads, we discuss the front, back and sides view of fashion, as more people explore fashion through two-dimensional images, often on their smartphones. Spender believes social media, specifically Instagram, has had a huge change on the way people can market ideas. I feel lucky because my clothes are better in movement. When online shopping first came out and everyone was straight front, back, sides, I was like, You dont have any idea how that skirt floats or feels, and I was really struggling with working out how to translate my ideas. Movement is at the core of how Spender designs and produces her clothes, joking that skirts must pass the Martin Place test, named after the notorious wind tunnel in the Sydney CBD. Since becoming a mother to two sons, now aged seven and 10, those tests have expanded to include the carrying the baby test to determine dress lengths (Spender doesnt own a pair of jeans).
Costume collaborators ... Spender with Sydney Dance Company's Rafael Bonachela.Credit:Louise Kennerley Spenders obsession with movement was put to the ultimate test recently, when she designed the costumes for the Sydney Dance Companys 50th-anniversary production of Cinco, under artistic director Rafael Bonachela. Some of the dance movements were so physical that three costumes ripped during rehearsals, and there were many repairs required. Each [costume] fitting, the scope of movement was amazing and even if I had mimicked it I couldnt mimic what would happen to the costume when it was on [the dancers], she says.
Fregola, calamari and mussels at Totti's.Credit:Wolter Peeters Spender said the project, even if it has forced her to sacrifice other work this year, was a dream come true for the one-time ballet student. Every family photo from the age of five to 11, I am in my ballet costume. I loved it so much I wouldnt take [my costume] off, she says. I call myself the tortoise. My mum loves running fast and loves winning. Bianca Spender Spender's gazelle-like physique and flowing strawberry blonde hair means she could easily pass as a professional dancer, although she admits age and the way she moves has taken its toll on her body. I only recently realised at the physio when he asked how I move everything is always very extended, I am not holding my core very much," she says while demonstrating how she would pick up a vase off a table, arm outstretched. "I love how everything looks when its long but then you dont protect your body.
Grilled whiting fillets at Totti's.Credit:Wolter Peeters Spender grew up in Sydney the middle of three children to fashion icon Carla Zampatti and John Spender (her parents separated in 2010). She recalls living in big, spacious houses where classical music was often playing and small talk was non-existent, the family preferring to tackle politics or business at the dinner table, sometimes to the bemusement of Spenders classmates. At school she would demonstrate her eccentric fashion taste on mufti days, but it wasnt until Spender reached adulthood that she truly understood her familys notoriety in Sydney's cultural scene.
Bianca Spender has formed a reputation at fashion week for her non-linear catwalks.Credit:AAP Only years after I left school and I [reflected on] certain conflicts with certain kids that Id never understood. People would say, Well your mum is Carla Zampatti, and I was just like, Oh.
The Zampatti-Spender family on the steps of their Sydney home in 1986. Clockwise from left: John Spender, Carla Zampatti, Alex Schuman, Allegra Spender, Bianca Spender. Credit:Ian Charles Cugley/SMH My mum is pretty normal, shes a postwar immigrant. What that means to me is you have to finish all your food, you live in a beautiful house but you understand the value of money. For a pre-teen Spender, that meant school holidays spent working at her mothers inner-city office, doing every job from tea lady to banking clerk. I am the most ridiculous jaywalker because I have been walking around the city since I was eight, Spender jokes. A firsthand apprenticeship in the Carla Zampatti offices, coupled with her familys work and social ethic, meant Spender had quite a feminist upbringing. I never felt the need to answer to a man, dress for a man, or been dependent on a man for anything. They dont have to approve of how I talk, what I wear, what I earn, what I spend my money on. Last year, Spender reached another milestone when she and Zampatti divided their businesses into separate entities, including a new head office in Rushcutters Bay for Spender. The pair are clearly close, often travelling together overseas or to fashion shows in Australia (both brands are carried at David Jones, for example). But when it comes to their work practices, Spender admits they are quite different. Loading I call myself the tortoise. My mum loves running fast and loves winning. She has racing car blood in her family (both Zampattis brothers were race-car drivers) but I am about the journey. Its not that I dont want the end result to look great. You can get a good result and have a terrible journey but that doesnt mean the same to me. I am [about] the long game. Which comes back to Spenders Fashion Week dilemma. She has a big vision of a project involving 10 women who have influenced her, dressing 10 other women, using her carefully archived collections. Its still morphing but she knows it wont be ready by mid-May, when fashion week takes place. I am probably being too ambitious in what I want to achieve out of it. But at least if I am pushing myself to strive for something. I wont do what I expect and Ill find that new form. (A week after our lunch, Spender phones to say she has decided to sit out of Fashion Week and will instead stage a solo, more intimate event in early May.) Recently, Spender has experimented with salon-style showings, where she revels in getting up close with the clothing and the customer. As someone whos more comfortable at a dinner party for 10 than a cocktail function for 300, Spenders aversion to big-production shows is understandable. At least if I am pushing myself to strive for something. I wont do what I expect - and Ill find that new form. Bianca Spender At a big party, my partners wings will get bigger. Whereas if you have me at a dinner party, I am passionate put me around lots of people and they are asking, Whats wrong with you? I am so not a show pony I find shows an incredible creative process but the way you only get eight to 10 minutes to present your world I remember once saying 12 [seconds] to [stylist] Mark Vassallo and he said, No, 12 is way too long. And I said, That dress took 12 weeks to get right and I cant have it on stage for eight seconds. I want to challenge that.
The bill at Totti's. One point on which Spender and her mother are in lockstep is on the retention of Australian fashion talent (Zampatti funds a scholarship for a UTS graduate to study overseas, with the intention of them returning home). Unlike some of her peers, Spender, who worked in France and Italy in fashion for four years after completing a commerce degree, has resisted aggressively chasing sales or the limelight overseas. We know we [Australia] are leaders in sport compared to our population ... in fashion theres still a, Whats everyone else doing? attitude. New Zealand has a very strong vision for its fashion with a small population but Australia is often very outward looking. We need to find a bit more confidence in ourselves and our own vision and our own style. Our need to be revered by overseas comes from our lack of supporting ourselves and our culture Whenever [a journalist] writes on a designer, its X is stocked on [e-tailer] Net-a-Porter. Do they need to be stocked there for you to love them? A lot of people go bankrupt trying to catch the overseas dollar. I am focused on building my Australianmarket. If my international market comes quicker, great, but I am not running after it. I dont need it to prove to myself that what I do is unique and has a strong vision. THE BILL, PLEASE Totti's 283 Bondi Road, Bondi 02 9114 7371 Open: Mon-Sat 11.30am-10pm, Sun 11.30am-9pm Melissa Singer is National Fashion Editor of The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age. Most Viewed in Lifestyle Loading https://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/fashion/why-bianca-spender-is-skipping-australian-fashion-week-20190410-p51csm.html?ref=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_source=rss_lifestyle
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Im sure that this will all fall on deaf ears, but if you are someone who is willing to accept a different point of view I would encourage you to read, and critically analyze this article my english teacher assigned us because it’s SUPER relevant in fandom. If you are easily offended by someone saying ‘fiction isn’t reality’ then keep scrolling.
My own feelings on the matter are under the cut, but it’s not necessary to read.
If I get messages about how I’m painting antis in a bad picture I will kindly ask you to ready my entire analysis because clearly you did not read the full paragraph I spent on how there’s nothing wrong with being anti ‘anything’ because a lot of antis are actually pretty cool and decent people, they just really hate certain things and want those things out of their face which is not that hard of a concept to understand.
This was written in 2000. TWO-FUCKING-THOUSAND.
This shit has being going on for longer than that, but it’s still relevant. My english teacher assigned this to me tonight and I am blown away.
This is something that under-aged/teen antis and ‘protect the children’ people need to understand. Sheltering kids, and taking away violence in the media does more harm than good. There is violence in media and it is an OUTLET.
If a teen or adult does not know the difference between what is a fantasy and what is reality then they should see a specialist to help them learn the difference because their is one. Fantasy is influenced by reality, but kids, yes kids, learn very easily that things on tv are not real, and they grow up, and their interested change as they mature.
It is not wrong to be interested in or enjoy violent, harmful, or problematic fictional material because most– rational people, can look at it and say ‘This is a compelling topic to explore on a fictional character for the sake of exploratory writing/venting, but I know that in real life, this sort of thing is horrible and very wrong.’
Most people, even the ones who antis claim (Keyword being ‘claim’ because at this point everybody and their dog is considered a pedo at this point) are ‘pedos’, actually know the difference, and most of them do not even view an age gap of a few years as an issue either based on their culture or because of their own experiences, and neither do many of the survivors I have seen speak out about this discourse, or if they do, they often use it to cope with their trauma which there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. And I dont understand how so many antis can claim to be fighting for the sake of survivors and minors and then in the same breath bully those same people ABOUT THEIR TRAUMA OR THEIR AGE because they dont agree with them.
It’s fine to hate something. It’s fine to be an anti. Ive met several who are actually very open minded and level headed people, they just hold hatred or dislike for a certain fandom trend. THAT’S PERFECTLY FINE. That’s great. I have things I really dislike. Tsunderes for example. Would I consider myself anti-tsundere? Maybe. But Im not going to go out of my way to tell everyone who likes them that they’re disgusting peices of shit. Or that– in my opinion, tsunderes perpetuate a stereotype of male abuse victims being something comedic. Because??? No one who enjoys tsunderes wants to hear that? And they shouldn’t have to. And I dont CARE that other people like them– even with my opinions on it. Because THEY EXIST. AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT EXCEPT AVOID IT IN MY MEDIA VIEWING.
By all means, blog about it, connect with other people and talk your shit about it. Be angry! No one here is saying you cant. But the SECOND you decide you need to tell other people, people who have nothing to do with YOU, and who have done all they can to tag appropriately and keep their things out of your face for YOUR SAFETY– BECAUSE YOU ASKED, then you are not an anti anymore. You’re giving actual, respectable antis a bad name by using the word to hide behind as a way to bully, harass and actually physically THREATEN people. Survivors, minors, and all the other people you are claiming to ‘protect’, if they dont agree with you– they’re on your hit list.
Here’s the thing:
Violence in media is fine. Portraying it in writing, art, and any other media is FINE. It is a creative outlet. It is an escape from the realities of the world we face every day and it is NOT ALWAYS PRETTY, RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE, and it does not cater to the preferences of a bunch of children who get squicked by something and feel they need to blog about it to the whole internet like a facebook mom posting about her kale shake. No one cares. Someone’s personal work is shared on the internet as a way of expressing themselves– yes, it is subject to criticism out in the open, but a piece of artwork , no matter how you may feel about it, is not a valid reason to constantly harass, suicide bate, belittle, manipulate, THREATEN, or bully an artist, or writer or ANYBODY.
Teens on this site want people to respect them like adults. You want others to take you seriously. Do the mature thing and disengage, block what you dont wanna see, stop giving the things you despise all your emotional attention if it is so distressing to you. Stop seeking out the people who disagree with you to try and tell them they’re disgusting creatures that deserve to get raped or murdered or have their children taken away or their pet deserves to get run over for something so STUPID. Because it just makes you look like a spoiled brat who’s not getting what they want exactly how they want it. Grow up, learn how to filter yourself and the content YOU want to see. Instead of deliberately clicking something you know you’re gonna hate and then complaining about it after the fact. You were warned. Accept the responsibility of your actions
Sincerely, a young adult who is too fucking tired to hear you toddlers whining about how 17 is ‘a literal child’ because that would include yourself and I know all you shits are getting off to yaoi porn so don’t fucking even.
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Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?
Are today’s mutual-aid recovery groups ready to satisfy Generation-next?“More than any other generation before them, Gen Z does not assert a religious identity. They might be drawn to things spiritual, but with a vastly different starting point from previous generations, many of whom received a basic education on the Bible and Christianity. And it shows: The percentage of Gen Z that identifies as atheist is double that of the U.S. adult population.”Released early this year, Barna Group’s Generation-Z Report (Americans born between 1999 and 2015) surveyed over 2,000 13 to 18-year-olds. The oldest of this generation turn 20 in 2019.According to AA’s most recent triennial membership survey, 1% of AA is under 21—that’s about 20,000 sober teenagers in AA rooms right now. What’s my personal affinity with this demographic? It’s two-fold: I have two millennial children and one 18-year-old stepson; secondly, while I am a grey-haired Baby Boomer, I was a teen at my first 12-step meeting. My 20th birthday was 1980, three months shy of my fourth anniversary clean and sober.I was a second-generation AA member and—like Barna’s youth focus group—my worldview seemed incompatible with the old fogies of 12-step rooms. My mother mused about finding god’s will for her from meditation or her daily horoscope. She was such a Virgo, you know. Horoscopes, higher powers, legends of Sasquatch, these were all fictional symbols as far as I was concerned. Reasonable people didn’t take such constructs literally, did they?Bob K, like me, is a second-generation AA. He’s currently between historical book projects; Key Players in AA History will soon have a prequel. Bob’s follow-up research will produce a book about pre-AA addiction and treatment. At age 40, Bob made it into AA as a result of his dad 12-stepping him. He also was uncomfortable with the emphasis on "God." “When I was a month sober, it was ‘God-this, God saved me’ and I was going to put my resignation in. I didn’t think I could stand it in AA any longer. I went to the internet of the day—which back then was the library—and I looked for non-religious alternatives to AA. They had them in California but nothing in Ontario Canada. So it was AA or nothing. If I tried to brave it alone, I’d be drunk; I knew it.”Today, Bob enjoys the likeminded company at his Secular AA home group, Whitby Freethinkers, which meets in the local suburban library just East of Toronto. If I were confronting addiction/recovery as a teen today, I wonder if I would go to AA or NA? If AA was once “the last house on the block,” today it’s one house in a subdivision of mutual-aid choices. Today, newcomers have access to Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), or Medically Assisted Treatment, none of which existed in the 1970s.On Practically Sane, therapist Jeffrey Munn states: “I like to take a practical approach … I’m not a fan of the ‘fluff’ and flowery language that is often associated with the world of psychology and self-help.” Jeffrey came into the rooms at 20, stayed sober for 2 ½ years, relapsed, came back and is now 13 years clean and sober.“I was mandated to three 12-step meetings per week to stay in the program I was in. Since I was young I have been agnostic. I wanted to find a higher power that was common sense-based, but in the rooms I felt pulled towards a more dogmatic spiritual idea of higher power. Back then, I needed to come up with my own conception of what was happening on a psychological level." Recently, Jeffrey wrote and published Staying Sober Without God: the Practical 12 Steps to Long Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction.“I looked at SMART Recovery,” Jeffrey tells The Fix. “I looked at Moderation Management, too—that one struck me as being an organized resentment against AA—I wasn’t feeling it. When it comes down to social support and a practical plan of action, it’s hard to beat 12-step programs. What I try to teach is: if you don’t buy into any kind of a supernatural higher power, navigate the 12-step world, filtering the god-stuff out, working the program in your own way; there is lots that really works.”Barna reports, “Nearly half of teens, on par with Millennials, say, ‘I need factual evidence to support my beliefs.’” Jeffrey hopes Staying Sober Without God—which joins a growing secular 12-step recovery offering—offers the rational narrative today’s youth crave. Barna calls today’s youth “the first truly post-Christian generation [in America].”Certified Master Addiction Counselor David B. Bohl of Milwaukee understands the value of other-oriented care. David tells The Fix: “As head of a 20-bed coed dual-diagnosis treatment center, emerging adults, 18 to 25 years old, came into our care. I wouldn’t say that they universally shrugged off the 12-step approach but almost universally, in reaction to our volunteers, alumni, and traditional AA community, younger clients didn’t want what the volunteers and alumni had. And I wouldn’t say it was the religiosity always. Sometimes it was an age-thing or life approach. So, our recovery management function became that much more important in terms of building individualized treatment that suits everyone.“In the USA, 75% of all residential treatment centers identify as 12-step facilitators,” David tells us. “In the simplest form, our job is to introduce people to the language and the concept of the 12 steps and then to introduce the clients to support groups or people in support groups when they are discharged from acute care.Where trauma is involved—religious trauma in particular—traditional AA language and rituals trigger that shame they feel from negative formal religion experiences.”Let’s put this overbearing religion caution to a real-life test: Suwaida F was the second oldest of 11 children to Somalian refugee parents who fled to Canada in the 1980s.“In Kindergarten I didn’t have to wear a hijab; my parents weren’t super religious. I went to an Islamic school in grade one. It was normal for teachers to have belts with them, they would hit you; child abuse was normalized. They didn’t really teach us that much math, science, history. The Islamic teachers weren’t that educated. My parents took me out and put me in public school. Then, some of my mom’s Somalian-Canadian friends started moving their kids to Egypt. My friends would stay in Egypt two years, finish the Qur’an and the girls came back wearing burqas and head-scarves. Some Muslim friends would come to school in their hijab, take them off and put them back on when they went home. We called them The Transformers.My parents really wanted us to learn the Qur’an; I don’t speak Arabic, so it was difficult. And I never believed it. I asked my mom and dad, ‘How do you know that this stuff is real?’ They got frustrated and mad and said, ‘Don’t ever ask that question again.’ I knew it wasn’t real. Mom got more and more religious. Pictures of her at age 19 -- she wore no head-scarf when she was my age. My mom expected me to be religious and I rebelled. I had to leave home.”Suwaida misses her sisters. She feels unwelcome in the family home unless she is dressed in the Islamic custom and that wouldn’t be true to herself. Away from home, Suwaida found the welcoming community she craved in the booze and cocaine culture.“It wasn’t a matter of having no money; I had no sense of hope. People at work didn’t know I was hopped from shelter to shelter at night. One winter I was told, ‘Suwaida, you’ve been restricted from every youth shelter in the city of Toronto.’” As addiction progressed, Suwaida recalls an ever-descending patterns of compromises, bad relationships and regrets.“Today, it’s like I still never unpack my suitcase; I’m always ready to go.” During a stay at St. Joe’s detox, Suwaida went to her first NA meeting.“At 7 PM, a woman spoke. I made it clear that I thought it was stupid; I wouldn’t share. At the end, everyone was holding hands to pray and I said, ‘I’m not holding any of your hands.’ I didn’t go back. When I was discharged, I went drinking at the bar with my suitcase, not knowing where I was going to stay that night.My second meeting I consider my first, because I chose it. I thought I should go to AA. I googled atheist or freethinker AA to avoid a repeat of my NA experience. I found Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group on the University of Toronto campus. I went there last February. For a while, I had wine in my travel-mug, and I didn’t say anything. In August I felt like the woman beside me knew I was drinking, and I ask myself, ‘What am I doing?’ So, my next meeting, I went sober. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”Despite the child-violence of Islamic school and rejection from her family, Suwaida isn’t anti-theist. “I do believe in God or in something. I feel like I’m always looking for signs. I don’t believe in a god in the sky but to say there’s nothing beyond all this doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes the freakiest things happen. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller, I try to make a story out of everything; you think of someone, then they phone you, is that random?I feel a part-of in secular or mainstream AA meetings. My self-talk still sounds like, ‘Don’t share Suwaida, you have nothing to add.’ Maybe it comes from not being able to express myself when I was growing up. I have no sense of self. I guess I have something special to offer but I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s hard; I have limited self-confidence.”“Give them their voice; listen to them,” is Kevin Schaefer’s approach. He co-hosts the podcast Don’t Die Wisconsin. He’s also a recovery coach.“I’ve been in Recovery 29+ years. I’m a substance abuse counselor and I got into addiction treatment through sober living. When I started working in a Suboxone clinic, I came to realize that AA can’t solve everything. I always come from a harm reduction standpoint: meth, cocaine, benzos; I ask, ‘Can you just smoke pot?’ and we start building the trust there.Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT) is geared towards this generation. Most kids coming through my door know a lot about MAT, more so than people in AA with the biases and stigma that they bring. Kids sometimes know more than the front-line social workers. Their friends are on MAT, that’s how they gather their information (not to say their information is all correct). But a lot of therapists don’t understand medication. Medication can be a ticket to survival out on the streets.”The Fix asked Kevin his opinion on the best suited mutual-aid group for this generation.“Most of the generation you’re talking about walks in with anxiety and defiantly won’t do groups.” We talked about the role of online video/voice or text meetings for a tech-native generation. “Yes—where appropriate. Women especially, because from what I’ve seen, most females have suffered from trauma. I have heard women who prefer online recovery; that make sense to me. I’ve been to InTheRooms.com; as professionals we have a duty to know what’s out there. And there are some crazies online.If someone has an Eastern philosophy bent, I’ll send them to Refuge Recovery; I’ve been there. If I can, I’ll set them up with somebody that I know can help them. And let’s not forget that some youth, if Christianity is your thing, Celebrate Recovery is amazing — talk about a community that wraps themselves around the substance user. There are movie nights, food, all kinds of extracurricular activities. The SMART Recovery Movement? Excellent. SMART momentum is building in Milwaukee. They are goal-oriented and the person gets supported whether they’re on Suboxone or, in one case I know, micro-dosing with LSD for depression; they’ll be supported either way. My goal with youth is: ‘Try to get to one meeting this month; start slow.’ Don’t set the bar too high and if they enjoy it, then great.The 12-step meeting I go to, it’s a men’s meeting. There are people there on medication and they don’t get blow-back. I wish more of AA was like this. When I came in, almost 30 years ago now, I saw all the God-stuff on the walls and I thought, ‘Nah, this isn’t going to work’ but thank G… (laughs), thank the Group of Drunks who said, ‘You don’t have to believe in that.’ The range in my meeting is broad—Eastern philosophy, Native American practices, Yoga, I was invited to Transcendental Meditation meetings at members’ houses. I was fortunate to fall into this group. You know, the first book my sponsor gave me was The Tao of Physics—not The Big Book—it was this 70’s book with Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, correlated to physics and contemporary science.”So, as to the question that kicked this off, some mutual aid meetings are ready to meet the taste of a new generation; results may vary. Who’s heard: “If you haven’t met anyone you don’t like in AA, you haven’t gone to enough meetings”?The reverse is true, also. If the peer-to-peer meetings I’ve sampled seem too narrow or dogmatic, maybe my search for just the right fit isn’t over. And if I don’t want a face-to-face meeting, there’s always Kevin’s podcast, virtual communities like The Fix, or I can order one of Bob or David or Jeffrey’s books if that’s more to my taste.
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Text
Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?
Are today’s mutual-aid recovery groups ready to satisfy Generation-next?“More than any other generation before them, Gen Z does not assert a religious identity. They might be drawn to things spiritual, but with a vastly different starting point from previous generations, many of whom received a basic education on the Bible and Christianity. And it shows: The percentage of Gen Z that identifies as atheist is double that of the U.S. adult population.”Released early this year, Barna Group’s Generation-Z Report (Americans born between 1999 and 2015) surveyed over 2,000 13 to 18-year-olds. The oldest of this generation turn 20 in 2019.According to AA’s most recent triennial membership survey, 1% of AA is under 21—that’s about 20,000 sober teenagers in AA rooms right now. What’s my personal affinity with this demographic? It’s two-fold: I have two millennial children and one 18-year-old stepson; secondly, while I am a grey-haired Baby Boomer, I was a teen at my first 12-step meeting. My 20th birthday was 1980, three months shy of my fourth anniversary clean and sober.I was a second-generation AA member and—like Barna’s youth focus group—my worldview seemed incompatible with the old fogies of 12-step rooms. My mother mused about finding god’s will for her from meditation or her daily horoscope. She was such a Virgo, you know. Horoscopes, higher powers, legends of Sasquatch, these were all fictional symbols as far as I was concerned. Reasonable people didn’t take such constructs literally, did they?Bob K, like me, is a second-generation AA. He’s currently between historical book projects; Key Players in AA History will soon have a prequel. Bob’s follow-up research will produce a book about pre-AA addiction and treatment. At age 40, Bob made it into AA as a result of his dad 12-stepping him. He also was uncomfortable with the emphasis on "God." “When I was a month sober, it was ‘God-this, God saved me’ and I was going to put my resignation in. I didn’t think I could stand it in AA any longer. I went to the internet of the day—which back then was the library—and I looked for non-religious alternatives to AA. They had them in California but nothing in Ontario Canada. So it was AA or nothing. If I tried to brave it alone, I’d be drunk; I knew it.”Today, Bob enjoys the likeminded company at his Secular AA home group, Whitby Freethinkers, which meets in the local suburban library just East of Toronto. If I were confronting addiction/recovery as a teen today, I wonder if I would go to AA or NA? If AA was once “the last house on the block,” today it’s one house in a subdivision of mutual-aid choices. Today, newcomers have access to Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), or Medically Assisted Treatment, none of which existed in the 1970s.On Practically Sane, therapist Jeffrey Munn states: “I like to take a practical approach … I’m not a fan of the ‘fluff’ and flowery language that is often associated with the world of psychology and self-help.” Jeffrey came into the rooms at 20, stayed sober for 2 ½ years, relapsed, came back and is now 13 years clean and sober.“I was mandated to three 12-step meetings per week to stay in the program I was in. Since I was young I have been agnostic. I wanted to find a higher power that was common sense-based, but in the rooms I felt pulled towards a more dogmatic spiritual idea of higher power. Back then, I needed to come up with my own conception of what was happening on a psychological level." Recently, Jeffrey wrote and published Staying Sober Without God: the Practical 12 Steps to Long Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction.“I looked at SMART Recovery,” Jeffrey tells The Fix. “I looked at Moderation Management, too—that one struck me as being an organized resentment against AA—I wasn’t feeling it. When it comes down to social support and a practical plan of action, it’s hard to beat 12-step programs. What I try to teach is: if you don’t buy into any kind of a supernatural higher power, navigate the 12-step world, filtering the god-stuff out, working the program in your own way; there is lots that really works.”Barna reports, “Nearly half of teens, on par with Millennials, say, ‘I need factual evidence to support my beliefs.’” Jeffrey hopes Staying Sober Without God—which joins a growing secular 12-step recovery offering—offers the rational narrative today’s youth crave. Barna calls today’s youth “the first truly post-Christian generation [in America].”Certified Master Addiction Counselor David B. Bohl of Milwaukee understands the value of other-oriented care. David tells The Fix: “As head of a 20-bed coed dual-diagnosis treatment center, emerging adults, 18 to 25 years old, came into our care. I wouldn’t say that they universally shrugged off the 12-step approach but almost universally, in reaction to our volunteers, alumni, and traditional AA community, younger clients didn’t want what the volunteers and alumni had. And I wouldn’t say it was the religiosity always. Sometimes it was an age-thing or life approach. So, our recovery management function became that much more important in terms of building individualized treatment that suits everyone.“In the USA, 75% of all residential treatment centers identify as 12-step facilitators,” David tells us. “In the simplest form, our job is to introduce people to the language and the concept of the 12 steps and then to introduce the clients to support groups or people in support groups when they are discharged from acute care.Where trauma is involved—religious trauma in particular—traditional AA language and rituals trigger that shame they feel from negative formal religion experiences.”Let’s put this overbearing religion caution to a real-life test: Suwaida F was the second oldest of 11 children to Somalian refugee parents who fled to Canada in the 1980s.“In Kindergarten I didn’t have to wear a hijab; my parents weren’t super religious. I went to an Islamic school in grade one. It was normal for teachers to have belts with them, they would hit you; child abuse was normalized. They didn’t really teach us that much math, science, history. The Islamic teachers weren’t that educated. My parents took me out and put me in public school. Then, some of my mom’s Somalian-Canadian friends started moving their kids to Egypt. My friends would stay in Egypt two years, finish the Qur’an and the girls came back wearing burqas and head-scarves. Some Muslim friends would come to school in their hijab, take them off and put them back on when they went home. We called them The Transformers.My parents really wanted us to learn the Qur’an; I don’t speak Arabic, so it was difficult. And I never believed it. I asked my mom and dad, ‘How do you know that this stuff is real?’ They got frustrated and mad and said, ‘Don’t ever ask that question again.’ I knew it wasn’t real. Mom got more and more religious. Pictures of her at age 19 -- she wore no head-scarf when she was my age. My mom expected me to be religious and I rebelled. I had to leave home.”Suwaida misses her sisters. She feels unwelcome in the family home unless she is dressed in the Islamic custom and that wouldn’t be true to herself. Away from home, Suwaida found the welcoming community she craved in the booze and cocaine culture.“It wasn’t a matter of having no money; I had no sense of hope. People at work didn’t know I was hopped from shelter to shelter at night. One winter I was told, ‘Suwaida, you’ve been restricted from every youth shelter in the city of Toronto.’” As addiction progressed, Suwaida recalls an ever-descending patterns of compromises, bad relationships and regrets.“Today, it’s like I still never unpack my suitcase; I’m always ready to go.” During a stay at St. Joe’s detox, Suwaida went to her first NA meeting.“At 7 PM, a woman spoke. I made it clear that I thought it was stupid; I wouldn’t share. At the end, everyone was holding hands to pray and I said, ‘I’m not holding any of your hands.’ I didn’t go back. When I was discharged, I went drinking at the bar with my suitcase, not knowing where I was going to stay that night.My second meeting I consider my first, because I chose it. I thought I should go to AA. I googled atheist or freethinker AA to avoid a repeat of my NA experience. I found Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group on the University of Toronto campus. I went there last February. For a while, I had wine in my travel-mug, and I didn’t say anything. In August I felt like the woman beside me knew I was drinking, and I ask myself, ‘What am I doing?’ So, my next meeting, I went sober. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”Despite the child-violence of Islamic school and rejection from her family, Suwaida isn’t anti-theist. “I do believe in God or in something. I feel like I’m always looking for signs. I don’t believe in a god in the sky but to say there’s nothing beyond all this doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes the freakiest things happen. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller, I try to make a story out of everything; you think of someone, then they phone you, is that random?I feel a part-of in secular or mainstream AA meetings. My self-talk still sounds like, ‘Don’t share Suwaida, you have nothing to add.’ Maybe it comes from not being able to express myself when I was growing up. I have no sense of self. I guess I have something special to offer but I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s hard; I have limited self-confidence.”“Give them their voice; listen to them,” is Kevin Schaefer’s approach. He co-hosts the podcast Don’t Die Wisconsin. He’s also a recovery coach.“I’ve been in Recovery 29+ years. I’m a substance abuse counselor and I got into addiction treatment through sober living. When I started working in a Suboxone clinic, I came to realize that AA can’t solve everything. I always come from a harm reduction standpoint: meth, cocaine, benzos; I ask, ‘Can you just smoke pot?’ and we start building the trust there.Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT) is geared towards this generation. Most kids coming through my door know a lot about MAT, more so than people in AA with the biases and stigma that they bring. Kids sometimes know more than the front-line social workers. Their friends are on MAT, that’s how they gather their information (not to say their information is all correct). But a lot of therapists don’t understand medication. Medication can be a ticket to survival out on the streets.”The Fix asked Kevin his opinion on the best suited mutual-aid group for this generation.“Most of the generation you’re talking about walks in with anxiety and defiantly won’t do groups.” We talked about the role of online video/voice or text meetings for a tech-native generation. “Yes—where appropriate. Women especially, because from what I’ve seen, most females have suffered from trauma. I have heard women who prefer online recovery; that make sense to me. I’ve been to InTheRooms.com; as professionals we have a duty to know what’s out there. And there are some crazies online.If someone has an Eastern philosophy bent, I’ll send them to Refuge Recovery; I’ve been there. If I can, I’ll set them up with somebody that I know can help them. And let’s not forget that some youth, if Christianity is your thing, Celebrate Recovery is amazing — talk about a community that wraps themselves around the substance user. There are movie nights, food, all kinds of extracurricular activities. The SMART Recovery Movement? Excellent. SMART momentum is building in Milwaukee. They are goal-oriented and the person gets supported whether they’re on Suboxone or, in one case I know, micro-dosing with LSD for depression; they’ll be supported either way. My goal with youth is: ‘Try to get to one meeting this month; start slow.’ Don’t set the bar too high and if they enjoy it, then great.The 12-step meeting I go to, it’s a men’s meeting. There are people there on medication and they don’t get blow-back. I wish more of AA was like this. When I came in, almost 30 years ago now, I saw all the God-stuff on the walls and I thought, ‘Nah, this isn’t going to work’ but thank G… (laughs), thank the Group of Drunks who said, ‘You don’t have to believe in that.’ The range in my meeting is broad—Eastern philosophy, Native American practices, Yoga, I was invited to Transcendental Meditation meetings at members’ houses. I was fortunate to fall into this group. You know, the first book my sponsor gave me was The Tao of Physics—not The Big Book—it was this 70’s book with Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, correlated to physics and contemporary science.”So, as to the question that kicked this off, some mutual aid meetings are ready to meet the taste of a new generation; results may vary. Who’s heard: “If you haven’t met anyone you don’t like in AA, you haven’t gone to enough meetings”?The reverse is true, also. If the peer-to-peer meetings I’ve sampled seem too narrow or dogmatic, maybe my search for just the right fit isn’t over. And if I don’t want a face-to-face meeting, there’s always Kevin’s podcast, virtual communities like The Fix, or I can order one of Bob or David or Jeffrey’s books if that’s more to my taste.
from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://bit.ly/2B5JhVm
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Text
Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?
Are today’s mutual-aid recovery groups ready to satisfy Generation-next?“More than any other generation before them, Gen Z does not assert a religious identity. They might be drawn to things spiritual, but with a vastly different starting point from previous generations, many of whom received a basic education on the Bible and Christianity. And it shows: The percentage of Gen Z that identifies as atheist is double that of the U.S. adult population.”Released early this year, Barna Group’s Generation-Z Report (Americans born between 1999 and 2015) surveyed over 2,000 13 to 18-year-olds. The oldest of this generation turn 20 in 2019.According to AA’s most recent triennial membership survey, 1% of AA is under 21—that’s about 20,000 sober teenagers in AA rooms right now. What’s my personal affinity with this demographic? It’s two-fold: I have two millennial children and one 18-year-old stepson; secondly, while I am a grey-haired Baby Boomer, I was a teen at my first 12-step meeting. My 20th birthday was 1980, three months shy of my fourth anniversary clean and sober.I was a second-generation AA member and—like Barna’s youth focus group—my worldview seemed incompatible with the old fogies of 12-step rooms. My mother mused about finding god’s will for her from meditation or her daily horoscope. She was such a Virgo, you know. Horoscopes, higher powers, legends of Sasquatch, these were all fictional symbols as far as I was concerned. Reasonable people didn’t take such constructs literally, did they?Bob K, like me, is a second-generation AA. He’s currently between historical book projects; Key Players in AA History will soon have a prequel. Bob’s follow-up research will produce a book about pre-AA addiction and treatment. At age 40, Bob made it into AA as a result of his dad 12-stepping him. He also was uncomfortable with the emphasis on "God." “When I was a month sober, it was ‘God-this, God saved me’ and I was going to put my resignation in. I didn’t think I could stand it in AA any longer. I went to the internet of the day—which back then was the library—and I looked for non-religious alternatives to AA. They had them in California but nothing in Ontario Canada. So it was AA or nothing. If I tried to brave it alone, I’d be drunk; I knew it.”Today, Bob enjoys the likeminded company at his Secular AA home group, Whitby Freethinkers, which meets in the local suburban library just East of Toronto. If I were confronting addiction/recovery as a teen today, I wonder if I would go to AA or NA? If AA was once “the last house on the block,” today it’s one house in a subdivision of mutual-aid choices. Today, newcomers have access to Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), or Medically Assisted Treatment, none of which existed in the 1970s.On Practically Sane, therapist Jeffrey Munn states: “I like to take a practical approach … I’m not a fan of the ‘fluff’ and flowery language that is often associated with the world of psychology and self-help.” Jeffrey came into the rooms at 20, stayed sober for 2 ½ years, relapsed, came back and is now 13 years clean and sober.“I was mandated to three 12-step meetings per week to stay in the program I was in. Since I was young I have been agnostic. I wanted to find a higher power that was common sense-based, but in the rooms I felt pulled towards a more dogmatic spiritual idea of higher power. Back then, I needed to come up with my own conception of what was happening on a psychological level." Recently, Jeffrey wrote and published Staying Sober Without God: the Practical 12 Steps to Long Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction.“I looked at SMART Recovery,” Jeffrey tells The Fix. “I looked at Moderation Management, too—that one struck me as being an organized resentment against AA—I wasn’t feeling it. When it comes down to social support and a practical plan of action, it’s hard to beat 12-step programs. What I try to teach is: if you don’t buy into any kind of a supernatural higher power, navigate the 12-step world, filtering the god-stuff out, working the program in your own way; there is lots that really works.”Barna reports, “Nearly half of teens, on par with Millennials, say, ‘I need factual evidence to support my beliefs.’” Jeffrey hopes Staying Sober Without God—which joins a growing secular 12-step recovery offering—offers the rational narrative today’s youth crave. Barna calls today’s youth “the first truly post-Christian generation [in America].”Certified Master Addiction Counselor David B. Bohl of Milwaukee understands the value of other-oriented care. David tells The Fix: “As head of a 20-bed coed dual-diagnosis treatment center, emerging adults, 18 to 25 years old, came into our care. I wouldn’t say that they universally shrugged off the 12-step approach but almost universally, in reaction to our volunteers, alumni, and traditional AA community, younger clients didn’t want what the volunteers and alumni had. And I wouldn’t say it was the religiosity always. Sometimes it was an age-thing or life approach. So, our recovery management function became that much more important in terms of building individualized treatment that suits everyone.“In the USA, 75% of all residential treatment centers identify as 12-step facilitators,” David tells us. “In the simplest form, our job is to introduce people to the language and the concept of the 12 steps and then to introduce the clients to support groups or people in support groups when they are discharged from acute care.Where trauma is involved—religious trauma in particular—traditional AA language and rituals trigger that shame they feel from negative formal religion experiences.”Let’s put this overbearing religion caution to a real-life test: Suwaida F was the second oldest of 11 children to Somalian refugee parents who fled to Canada in the 1980s.“In Kindergarten I didn’t have to wear a hijab; my parents weren’t super religious. I went to an Islamic school in grade one. It was normal for teachers to have belts with them, they would hit you; child abuse was normalized. They didn’t really teach us that much math, science, history. The Islamic teachers weren’t that educated. My parents took me out and put me in public school. Then, some of my mom’s Somalian-Canadian friends started moving their kids to Egypt. My friends would stay in Egypt two years, finish the Qur’an and the girls came back wearing burqas and head-scarves. Some Muslim friends would come to school in their hijab, take them off and put them back on when they went home. We called them The Transformers.My parents really wanted us to learn the Qur’an; I don’t speak Arabic, so it was difficult. And I never believed it. I asked my mom and dad, ‘How do you know that this stuff is real?’ They got frustrated and mad and said, ‘Don’t ever ask that question again.’ I knew it wasn’t real. Mom got more and more religious. Pictures of her at age 19 -- she wore no head-scarf when she was my age. My mom expected me to be religious and I rebelled. I had to leave home.”Suwaida misses her sisters. She feels unwelcome in the family home unless she is dressed in the Islamic custom and that wouldn’t be true to herself. Away from home, Suwaida found the welcoming community she craved in the booze and cocaine culture.“It wasn’t a matter of having no money; I had no sense of hope. People at work didn’t know I was hopped from shelter to shelter at night. One winter I was told, ‘Suwaida, you’ve been restricted from every youth shelter in the city of Toronto.’” As addiction progressed, Suwaida recalls an ever-descending patterns of compromises, bad relationships and regrets.“Today, it’s like I still never unpack my suitcase; I’m always ready to go.” During a stay at St. Joe’s detox, Suwaida went to her first NA meeting.“At 7 PM, a woman spoke. I made it clear that I thought it was stupid; I wouldn’t share. At the end, everyone was holding hands to pray and I said, ‘I’m not holding any of your hands.’ I didn’t go back. When I was discharged, I went drinking at the bar with my suitcase, not knowing where I was going to stay that night.My second meeting I consider my first, because I chose it. I thought I should go to AA. I googled atheist or freethinker AA to avoid a repeat of my NA experience. I found Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group on the University of Toronto campus. I went there last February. For a while, I had wine in my travel-mug, and I didn’t say anything. In August I felt like the woman beside me knew I was drinking, and I ask myself, ‘What am I doing?’ So, my next meeting, I went sober. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”Despite the child-violence of Islamic school and rejection from her family, Suwaida isn’t anti-theist. “I do believe in God or in something. I feel like I’m always looking for signs. I don’t believe in a god in the sky but to say there’s nothing beyond all this doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes the freakiest things happen. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller, I try to make a story out of everything; you think of someone, then they phone you, is that random?I feel a part-of in secular or mainstream AA meetings. My self-talk still sounds like, ‘Don’t share Suwaida, you have nothing to add.’ Maybe it comes from not being able to express myself when I was growing up. I have no sense of self. I guess I have something special to offer but I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s hard; I have limited self-confidence.”“Give them their voice; listen to them,” is Kevin Schaefer’s approach. He co-hosts the podcast Don’t Die Wisconsin. He’s also a recovery coach.“I’ve been in Recovery 29+ years. I’m a substance abuse counselor and I got into addiction treatment through sober living. When I started working in a Suboxone clinic, I came to realize that AA can’t solve everything. I always come from a harm reduction standpoint: meth, cocaine, benzos; I ask, ‘Can you just smoke pot?’ and we start building the trust there.Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT) is geared towards this generation. Most kids coming through my door know a lot about MAT, more so than people in AA with the biases and stigma that they bring. Kids sometimes know more than the front-line social workers. Their friends are on MAT, that’s how they gather their information (not to say their information is all correct). But a lot of therapists don’t understand medication. Medication can be a ticket to survival out on the streets.”The Fix asked Kevin his opinion on the best suited mutual-aid group for this generation.“Most of the generation you’re talking about walks in with anxiety and defiantly won’t do groups.” We talked about the role of online video/voice or text meetings for a tech-native generation. “Yes—where appropriate. Women especially, because from what I’ve seen, most females have suffered from trauma. I have heard women who prefer online recovery; that make sense to me. I’ve been to InTheRooms.com; as professionals we have a duty to know what’s out there. And there are some crazies online.If someone has an Eastern philosophy bent, I’ll send them to Refuge Recovery; I’ve been there. If I can, I’ll set them up with somebody that I know can help them. And let’s not forget that some youth, if Christianity is your thing, Celebrate Recovery is amazing — talk about a community that wraps themselves around the substance user. There are movie nights, food, all kinds of extracurricular activities. The SMART Recovery Movement? Excellent. SMART momentum is building in Milwaukee. They are goal-oriented and the person gets supported whether they’re on Suboxone or, in one case I know, micro-dosing with LSD for depression; they’ll be supported either way. My goal with youth is: ‘Try to get to one meeting this month; start slow.’ Don’t set the bar too high and if they enjoy it, then great.The 12-step meeting I go to, it’s a men’s meeting. There are people there on medication and they don’t get blow-back. I wish more of AA was like this. When I came in, almost 30 years ago now, I saw all the God-stuff on the walls and I thought, ‘Nah, this isn’t going to work’ but thank G… (laughs), thank the Group of Drunks who said, ‘You don’t have to believe in that.’ The range in my meeting is broad—Eastern philosophy, Native American practices, Yoga, I was invited to Transcendental Meditation meetings at members’ houses. I was fortunate to fall into this group. You know, the first book my sponsor gave me was The Tao of Physics—not The Big Book—it was this 70’s book with Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, correlated to physics and contemporary science.”So, as to the question that kicked this off, some mutual aid meetings are ready to meet the taste of a new generation; results may vary. Who’s heard: “If you haven’t met anyone you don’t like in AA, you haven’t gone to enough meetings”?The reverse is true, also. If the peer-to-peer meetings I’ve sampled seem too narrow or dogmatic, maybe my search for just the right fit isn’t over. And if I don’t want a face-to-face meeting, there’s always Kevin’s podcast, virtual communities like The Fix, or I can order one of Bob or David or Jeffrey’s books if that’s more to my taste.
from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 https://www.thefix.com/aa-too-religious-generation-z
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I’ve been thinking about how I will allow my children to be more independent in their decision making. Since they were small, we have allowed quite a bit of freedom. Letting them jump in the puddles and then dealing with cold, wet feet has always been the best way for them to learn not to jump in puddles with tennis-shoes on. My sweet husband calls this method the “experiential” manner of parenting. I’m not sure if that’s actually a thing, but while he teases me with it from time to time, I think it is the best way to describe my overall philosophy for life. How will we learn if we do not experience?
Still, my ten-year-old is getting to a point in life where learning through doing can cost her more than just wet feet. I wonder how to provide all of the right activities for her to live her bigger-girl life without overly harsh consequences? Too much freedom given in the teen years can lead to all sorts of unchangeable life situations, choices that will need to be lived through for years to come, not just an afternoon. Yet I know that this child learns best by living, by putting her truest self out there and trying it out in the real world. I have no answers for these questions this morning, we will walk along this path together, hopefully the puddles won’t be too deep for awhile yet and we figure out the necessary boundaries as we go.
I also have been watching my littler kids, my husband and I give them a lot of space to learn by trying things out, but these two youngest kids are around a lot of other peoples parents, how do I let them think for themselves when so many other mommas don’t give their own kids the freedoms we allow? How do I respect other parents’ boundaries, while still letting my kids respect their own? I know that I need to be more vocal, explaining to my mom-friends the “why” behind the seemingly crazy things I “permit” my children to choose. I forget that our way is what has worked best for our family and, while I don’t need to force it on anyone else, I do need to respect it even in situations where other kids might not be allowed to do the things my kids choose to do.
If I don’t respect the guidelines that I show my kids one on one when we are in a group situation, it sends a mixed message and my kid may start to question her body or brain. That is something that will come back to bite me when we are climbing or on an unfamiliar trail and they suddenly question themselves in a moment of fear. I know that by letting them climb out as far as they feel safe, by letting them jump off the highest wall they are comfortable on, by simply allowing them to choose to wear a coat or not, they are learning that their choices matter. More than that they are learning that they have power over their own choice. They also see that they are capable, sometimes they fall, sometimes they flail, sometimes they come down a step first, but because we are there to bandage the scrapes and encourage the efforts, they trust themselves.
I suppose that is how I’m hoping to make it through the teen years with grace this time. We have allowed, permitted, encouraged even, this child to listen to her body. To trust her gut, to choose what is best for her through all of her “little” years. Unconsciously, by supporting her in these small things we have encouraged her to do the same with the big things to come. Hopefully she has failed enough and dealt with unpleasant consequences enough times to have those lessons to draw from as she matures. Ideally, she will have so much faith in her own body and brain that she will not fall to pressures or fail to be true to herself.
And so we continue. This day I will allow my eight-year-old to wear shorts…in January…in Minnesota…because that is his choice and he has yet to regret it, though I can’t look at him some days without shivering. I will watch my tiny stomp out into the snow wearing dress shoes and be there holding the boots I suggested before we left the house if she chooses to admit that snow is cold when it melts into your shoes! (I know that she will not admit that, she is as stubborn as I am and she will deal with wet feet for as long as she is able, but next time? She’ll choose the boots from the start because she’ll remember.) I will explain myself better to the other moms that we interact with so that I don’t have kids who second guess themselves.
This is not always easy. I often try very hard to explain my “why” to my kids when I want them to do one thing and they are certain that their own way is best. It is hard to remember that cold fingers will not kill an otherwise healthy child when my own life experiences tell me to put on mittens. It is difficult to stop and see their independence growing when the way they want to be independent causes me to need to plan ahead more. I mean, you really can’t let kids be free to explore their world without remembering to pack a spare pair of clothes and a towel or two. I’m banking on this being best though, that as they grow up they will know themselves and have a wealth of their own experiences to draw from. Not just scary words that grown ups threatened them with.
While my confidence often lags behind what I know to be true in this area, I have decided to commit to advocating for them more vocally. If your family plans to meet up with mine on one of these mild winter days please be prepared. I will not be telling my kids they can’t eat snow because they’ll get too cold, that they can’t take their coat…and hoodie…and snow-pants off (insert eye-roll here). Because I trust that when they are cold they will put them back on. I will continue to let my kids climb the trees, stand on the ledges, and jump from the rocks. Whether we are with friends or not. Because I really, really do want them to hear their own inner voice whisper and they won’t be able to do that if I’m constantly screaming at them to “not”.
Join me won’t you? It takes only a few steps. Choose a day and pack the car with all of the things you might need, take the extra time to do this. Then let your kid choose. Shorts in winter? Sure, if you want (you can pack pants). Take a few steps out onto the thin ice at the bend in the creek? Yes (you can explain currents and how far is safe, you can have spare boots and socks in the backpack). Climb on the frozen, metal playground equipment? Yep. (Maybe put dry mittens on first though?) Life should be experienced friends, even at four-years-old.
Trusting Their Choices I've been thinking about how I will allow my children to be more independent in their decision making.
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I want to buy a used car soon. I was wondering if having an alarm system on the car would make insurance cheap?
"I want to buy a used car soon. I was wondering if having an alarm system on the car would make insurance cheap?
Like when you own a house or buying...you have home owners insurance. It sometimes makes insurance cheaper is you have an alarm system. So would the same thing be possible for a car?
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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I am a part-time photographer who mostly does family portraits and children. However, I've shot one wedding this past summer, and have another planned for June. I have a couple who recently contacted me for engagement photos and they want to do them at a nearby museum (outdoors) a week from today. The museum may want insurance info, and I don't have any to provide them with. My gear: I own a Canon 5D Mark II (primary) with an L lens, as well as two Nikon cameras (5100 and d60- backup cameras). What kind of insurance do you recommend that is affordable for my part-time photography business income? I realize I may not be able to get insurance in time for this engaged couple, but would like to have it for the upcoming wedding.""
Can my car insurance company give my phone number to auto shops?
I was recently in a fender-bender, and as SOON as I made a claim with my insurance company, random auto shops started calling my cell phone (which is my only phone, I don't have a land line) stating they heard I'd been in an accident and basically were telemarketing me into fixing my car at their shop. I have Nationwide insurance, and I'm suspecting it is them who has released my information, as I didn't supply my info with anyone else, other than in the police report! Has anyone else heard of this or had this happen to them? Is there anything I can do about it, other than tell the people not to call me again!?""
Car accident with no insurance in FL?
I was in a car accident where the other driver admitted it was her fault, and i had a witness - as well as the officer saying it was my right away. However, I did not have insurance.. I assumed I was still under my parents name but my dad took me off their insurance a couple months ago. My car is totaled, and im in some pain ( nothing minor, just very sore )Where can I go from here? is my only option to call a lawyer or can i directly go to her insurance? all i want is a rental for the time being and to get money to buy a new car ( so w.e money my totaled car was worth) i want to make this as easy and fast as possible which is why i dont want a laywer involved. is that basically my only choice though? Thanks""
How much will car insurance cost for me?
i am 17 years old and i have my g2. i live in oshawa ontario canada. i will be a secondary driver on my dads car, which is a 1999 yukon gmc. i have also taken driving school. and im a girl. any clue how much insurance will cost me per month?""
How much will health insurance cost me?
I am an American citizen, 23 years old with a college degree. I never lived in the US but I am moving there now and I never had any health problems. How much will health insurance cost me a month?""
Can I drive car on my wife's insurance?
I just buy new car . Bt I have no insurance . Insurance is on my wife's name . Bt problem is that car is on my name . Please tell me . Wht is the solution . When I add my wife 's name in car . Then wht could happen ?
Best car insurance provider for person in early 20's?
Which provider is best suited for in this age group, located in California? Thanks!""
What kind of insurance overage should I get for my bike?
I have a 98 Honda Superhawk (996 CC). I'm unsure what kind of coverage I need since I'm learning to pay for my own insurance. It's a bike that I'm just planning to ride for small commute and weekends. I'm also trying to pay as little as possible. I was thinking of going with progressive. I got a rate of $300 Any idea of what coverage I need will be appreciated! Thanks
Peugeot 206 gti insurance cost?
Does anyone know roughly how much it would cost for first time insurance? I'm 18 by the way.
Would a 2001 jetta VR6 be expensive for insurance?
Would it be expensive for insurance, im 17 almost 18 male car costs around 6000""
Question about car insurance...?
theoretical question, if someone else was driving your car and was involved in a collision... you are insured but they were not insured to drive your vehicle (although they are their own)... they were given a fine and driving ban for 15 months. however should the third party seek compensation, who is liable to pay this - the uninsured driver or the car owner or the insurance company?""
""If im a 21 year old female wuth a dui, how much is car insurance?
I'm 21 with a dui on my record. Approximately how much would car insurance cost on a 2000 Ford escort?
Can i drive a car if the insurance is under another name?
Hi, I just got my license and as a teen car insurance is INCREDIBLY expensive. I was wondering if it was legal for me to drive my sisters car. She lives at a different address from me and the insurance is under her name. So if i crashed the car or anything would the insurance still cover it?""
How does health insurance work - when insurance premium can generally increase?
If family of two have health insurance, and one of them decide to use it for couple medical procedures will insurance policy premium go up? Please advice. Thanks.""
17 and HIP insurance?
Im 17 and I need some type of health insurance because my parents dont carry on me. My mom is applying again for HIP health insurance because she missed her reevaluation. So can I apply for HIP health insurance? thanks!
Motorcycle Insurance Question?
I was wondering how much insurance would cost for a 16 year old in California, driving a Ninja 500r would be. New driver, taken safety course, and stored in garage. What companies would insure me (I heard geico and progressive were good), and how much would it cost? Also what is the minimum amount of motorcycle insurance needed? Please answer with as much detail as possible. Thanks""
Which job has cheapest car insurance?
what job do i have to get to get real cheap car insurance
How much would car insurance cost for a 16 year old girl driving a 1997 Ford Mustang GT?
The car is a V8 and has 170+ miles. Please do not post answers with websites linking me on how to figure it out on my own.
Can health insurance coverage be dropped for a single department in a company? (Pennsylvania)?
I currently live in PA and my employer has said they will drop health insurance for my department, but not another department in the same company. I did some research online to see if this is possible or not. I originally started this job with guaranteed benefits and now they are being taken away. I was reading somewhere online (unsure of credibility, website is as follows:http://employee-benefits.lawyers.com/Employee-Benefits/Employer-Workplace-Benefits-FAQs.html) that a company cannot take away a certain departments health benefits and retain another departments. Below is the Q&A question from the stated website above: Q: Is my employer required to provide health benefits? A: Employers are generally not required to provide any health benefits. Only the state of Hawaii requires employers in the private sector to cover employees who work over 20 hours per week. Union contracts may include provisions for insurance as part of the agreement. However, health care and other benefits such as life or disability insurance are generally offered by employer as a means of attracting and keeping their workforce. If an employer does provide health coverage, federal law requires the employer to provide Consolidated Omnibus Reconciliation Act (COBRA) to an employee who loses her job for any reason outside of gross misconduct the opportunity to maintain coverage up to 18 months at her own expense. This applies to companies with 20 or more employees. Some states also have laws with similar protections for employees who work for companies with less than 20 employees. Generally, it's not illegal to provide health benefits only to some classes of employees (for example, only to full-time employees but not to part-time employees). But once the eligible classes are established, an employer cannot withhold insurance from some members of the class while offering it to others. The employer can require employees to follow the rules of the plan, which may require an employee to fulfill a waiting period or wait for an open enrollment period before joining. An employer can usually change, or even eliminate, a health plan, but must follow the rules and guidelines of the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA). I understand they cannot choose and select who receives and who does not (I interpreted this as discriminating between employees). I do not know health legislature very well, and if anyone could provide some information it would be very appreciated. As for me, I am going to try and find more information out about this. Thank you.""
Could a 17 year old insure a Porsche 944? (For a reasonable price)?
I've been looking into classic cars and The Porsche 944 has kept cropping up on sites, and looks quite nice. My fear is as I will be turning 17 soon and I live in Worcestershire (UK) I have no hope of insuring it... Am I right? People have suggested Classic Car Insurance on 944's and 928's but didn't they fix that loophole? As I would be spending a fair bit of money on the car I don't want to pay loads of insurance, I would love to know ideas of insurance costs and general feedback about the car, I know it would cost a fortune to run by the way. All Help Appreciated""
Can you have insurance without a license?
i ride with my friend and lately she's been haggling me to give her $100 for insurance because she was in a car accident..but you cant get insurance with no license right?
Affordable dental insurance for my two year old?
I am trying to find a good dental insurance online for my son. I have came across a company called careington, but heard their discounts are never to be seen after you get things done. Does Metlife cover children? Anything helps! I'm trying to find something that isn't tricare related, he has regular tricare insurance, but takes forever for paperwork to go through, needing somethign fast and cheap...thanks.""
The best car insurance for a beginning teen?
I want to start driving, however one responsibility is paying for my own car insurance. I am 16 years old and am interested in a 2005 Volkswagen beetle. I was wondering what is the best car insurance company for a teen beginning driver, something affordable for a teenager's income please lol. Thank you.""
What is a good long-term health insurance policy for international stays?
I am planning to move to Germany in spring and require acceptable, long-term and affordable coverage. What is a good company and policy for me to look in to? I've seen several offers but only one I could afford because it had a deductible of 10k$. Is there better?""
What insurance company provides the best rates?
So I just bought my Volkswagon Beetle and need to insure it. I'm looking for the most affordable and most reliable insurance company out there. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance
I want to buy a used car soon. I was wondering if having an alarm system on the car would make insurance cheap?
Like when you own a house or buying...you have home owners insurance. It sometimes makes insurance cheaper is you have an alarm system. So would the same thing be possible for a car?
About how much is car insurance in British Columbia?
About how much is car insurance in British Columbia, particularly Vancouver or nearby? Perhaps if you could share how much it costs you or someone in your family with a good driving record. Perhaps give a hint of what car you have, liability limits, etc. In the U.S., you can get online quotes. For Canada, I've never seen anything like it.""
Cheapest women car insurance on a provisional?
im 23. got my own car, white, k reg, clio, automatic (1993) im only on a provisional license an ive found so far that my quotes r not very good. my highest as been 2027.57 an my lowest is 678.98 will i get anything lower. i know its cos of my age an cos im the main driver but if any women or men know any insurance companys that ave good lower prices then help me out thanks u never know wot ur get in return lol""
I am 16/m and looking for a cheap car insurances?
Im currently living in nyc, I am 16/m and looking for a cheap car insurances. Does anyone know of any?""
""Help with car insurance, I'm a new driver..?""
I heard there was a type of cover that covers any driver that drives the car as long as they had the permission of the main owner, and I was wondering two things about this, 1. does anyone know what it's called/ which insurance companies offer this. & 2. do all the names of drivers that will be driving the car need to be listed? Cheers.""
How do I get the cheapest car insurance?
I am 21 years old and have 2 years no claims bonus, I am in no way going to lie to the insurance companies just to alter my life to get the cheapest qoute wink wink can any one tell me if anything helps like where I work or how many kids I have??""
What is the best car insurance company in North Carolina?
Hi. So I recently moved from New England to North Carolina. I have my 2002 Toyota Camry. It was my Dad's and is still under his name. However, I want to get the title in my name hopefully by early 2014. That means paying for insurance too. I figure I'm going to have to do this soon, might as well do it now and learn more responsibility. My parents are paying for my car and their cars under MetLife. (Yes, the one with the Snoopy logo). They are paying about the same plan they did in Massachusetts. I know North Carolina has more competition in pricing and I want to shop around for a decent plan that gives me what I need but for a better price. My Mom is hysterical and doesn't want me to go anywhere else because she think NC insurance is crap. I like that MetLife gives me what I need but I'm not paying more than I have to in insurance. Sorry Mom. So my question is. What is the best car insurance company in North Carolina? Any suggestions. I would like a company that offers affordable plans but also is a reliable company when I need them. Please NO cheapo discount insurance. Here are my only two liabilities in my driving history: 1. Got into a minor car accident in October of 2011. Just a paint smear with another car. Nobody was hurt and neither car got in worse performance condition. 2. Got a seatbelt violation ticket in January 2013. (It was actually for speeding but the cop went easy probably because he saw I was wearing a suit. I was on my way to a family memorial service near the South Boston area.) Any experiences? I mean, what is my Mom worried about? I never hear in the news about people dying because they have NC car insurance. I know there is cut rate (bad) insurance out there because of competition. But there's got to be something better in NC than paying a Taxachuetts MetLife plan. (Sorry BayStaters, but you know it's true) Thank you!""
Life Insurance for Children?
My husband wants us to get life insurance for our three kids. It's through Globe Life and is called the young American plan. It's a whole life insurance policy. I'm not ...show more
Car Insurance?
I want to cancel my insurance or rather freeze it until the 3 November. Would i get into trouble though if i took it to the garage when i had cancelled my insurance or eve froze it..
In florida does the auto insurance rate lower after age 27?
In florida does the auto insurance rate lower after age 27?
Why should we pay CAR insurance?
I know it is made to protect us from being sue, I understand this. BUT if we are MADE to pay insurance to drive a car then the Car insurance companies should be MADE to include Car replacement as a STANDARD pack for both Full and Liability coverage(Why should I lose my car because of a BAD driver) If your car is totaled and you are still making payments then you lose a car. If you paid off your car and it is totaled, you lose a car. Lastly, we who pay insurance and don't have an accident in six months(or one year)should be given a choice of a lower premium, cash returned or a loan.""
Teen driver car insurance?
i'm 18 years old, got my license officially in march. I can't really drive my parents car around because im not on their insurance plan (and they worry) what is the cheapest car insurance plan i could get possibly to be insured with my parents? not sure what they have i think its state farm. does insurance depends on the car? if it matters my dad has a 1997 mini van,plymouth. and my mom has a 2005 jeep cherokee. about how much would it cost to be insured in one of their cars?""
Can I have 2 Health Insurances?
Can I have 2 health insurances?Edit My Information: - 23 years old, CA resident, Citizen, Not Student, Male Situation: Left California for Job (Blue Shield of California / Delta Dental) - Currently covered under my mother's health insurance until 26 (Blue Shield of CA believes I am still student) - Mother works at a hospital so I get 100% coverage at hospital and 20% max elsewhere (usually just co-pay) - great health insurance plan - All hospitals in MA are out-of network for CA insurance - I can go to urgent care when needed and services are covered...but long wait always -emergency fees are $100 tops Took job offer in Massachusetts that offers health insurance (Harvard Pilgrim / Humana) - it is the normal Harvard Pilgrim Plan - Have to pay premium (~$150/month) for PPO - primary care visits and specialized doctors are covered at 40% (i think...) - Expect to transfer back to CA office in 6 months - 1 year Current Health Conditions: - Teeth hurt (cavities) - Rotator Cuff injury (long ago still hurts) Decision: I have 6 days to decide, what should i do?! If I choose the MA one, I will likely lose CA insurance since they will see I am not a student.""
""Why do all of my friends get cheap car insurance, but not me?""
ok so my problem is, I am currently on a provisional license (in the UK of course) and literally all of my friends that are driving currently are getting insurance for less than 2k a year. (male, 17 years old, living in west cumbria, same as me) and that is with the same cover I am looking at... comprehensive cover as a named driver on a parents car. I have tried everything, even looked at the same cars and the qoutes are still almost double. this does not make sense... why the bloody hell do i have to pay 3500 quid a year for a poxy 500 quid car when all my mates only pay 1500 a year on the same thing!!! my postcode is ca28 by the way, which is a grade c postcode area for insurance, same as my friends. they seem to use aviva, i got a qoute from them, 300 a month, they got 150 a month. even those that have passed their test get cheaper insurance than me. please help. ste""
Does anyone know the average price of plpd insurance on a mustang gt for a 16 year old?
I am turning 16 and I really want a mustang gt ive found one but I need to find the price of plpd on a mustang gt so if anyone has any answers or prices please tell me
Can my husband insure a car registered in my name in MA?
I was wondering if in MA I have a leased car in my name and registered in my name can be put under my husbands car insurance policy. His premium is less than mine, and our insurance would be cheaper to pay for both on one policy rather than two. Any help would be appricated thanks in advance!""
Could somebody give me what they pay on average for insurance on a 2001 ford explorer sport?
i am looking to buy a 2001 ford explorer sport and was wondering if someboy wouldnt mind telling me their average yearly insurance payments?
Why is my car insurance so high?
Just finished paying a year of car insurance at like 125 a month. Just got my new bill for the year. They want 195 atleast first month. Are there cheaper car insurance companies out there?
Teen car insurance help help?
I am 18 years old and on my fathers state farm policy my mother has her own house and policy if I have car insurance under him can I be covered to drive her cars. she has geico
""In NJ, Can you get a driver's lincense but not have car insurance or a car/drive? TEN POINTSS?""
I'm 18 years old, female. I've always wanted my driver's license. I have my permit that now expired. My parents won't let me get it because they don't want me to get into an accident and because they said insurance is sooo HIGH! Is it possible to pass my driver license test and not be on an insurance policy and not drive any car? Not drive at all, just own the license. I have a job and would get my own policy, but it would just be even more expensive!""
Auto Insurance question?
First of all, I was involved in an accident. I was hit from the rear and then I slammed into the car in front of me. Im not that smart when it comes to my policy, and I would like to change that. Im not exactly sure where Im covered in this area. Like I said, Im not auto insurance savvy, so if possible, keep explanation of coverage and the location of coverage in general terms. These are based on an average coverage. I need to find the following: The cost of a medical checkup for my passenger The front and rear damage to my car The damage to the car in front of me The damage to the car behind me The total amount of liability protection for bodily harm and property damage Any help would be greatly appreciated.""
How can i get cheap car insurance at 17?
How can i get cheap car insurance at 17?
Ahhhh! car insurance?!?
Hello, I am a 18 year old freshmen in college. My College is approximately 20 minutes away. Since I was very very busy with my studies, I was unable to get a car permit / Driver License. Now that I am at spring break, I am planning to take my permit test, and start driving, so I dont have to ask my father to drop me off at chosen locations. Right now, I am earning $11 an hour. I get about $320 every two weeks. Now I have heard from my friends that Since I am 18 years old and my parents will not pay for my insurance, It will cost me about $300 for insurance every month, $100 for gas, and about $500 for required checking for cars. As you know, for a check of $320 every 2 weeks, I will not be able to pay for my car insurance and gas. Now heres the question. What should I do? I mean, I really need a car and I need to think of a good strategy. so that I will be able to pay for my car insurance. If you know any great, cheap insurance deals for someone my age, that'll be fantastic. Thank you.""
Any 1 want life insurance or mediclaim?
v r giving best service with lower price...
Thinking about changing to TD for auto insurance?
My current auto insurance company is charging me around $380.00 per month for insurance TD quoted me for $230.00 per month. I have only been with my current insurance company for 4 months now is it worth changing? here is TDs rules for cancelling. I personally think it is worth the change would TD still take me if i cancel early into my policy i haven't missed a payment and this would be the first time i cancelled a policy. Do there rules apply for me Cancelling???? or am i alright for changing? also i paid first and last do they take my last month as a cancellation fee? anyways let me know thanks TD Canada Trust rules for cancelling If an insurance company has cancelled/refused your policy for whatever reason (e.g., non-disclosure of tickets, non-payment), we are unable to provide you with an online quote. We do not take into account a policy that you cancelled yourself.""
Peugeot 106 or 206 for first car?
Im 17 and im goin to buy a new car , wot should i choose wot will be least on insurance will there be much difference , how much on average will insurnce be in the uk , north west, any other suggestions for a car upto 800 to spend, thanks x""
I want to buy a used car soon. I was wondering if having an alarm system on the car would make insurance cheap?
Like when you own a house or buying...you have home owners insurance. It sometimes makes insurance cheaper is you have an alarm system. So would the same thing be possible for a car?
Insurance question when you buy a used car?
If you buy a used car and pay cash and carry only the minimum insurance for your state will your current rate go up based on the model and make of the car. Also if you buy a used car and finance it you have to have collision on it right ?
Will getting quotes from car insurance companies affect my credit score?
I am reluctant to get other quotes to compare coz i have the feeling it affects my credit score negatively. Does it?
How much does Mexico Insurance cost for SUV 1 Day Trip?
We are going for a day trip to Juarez, Mexico to do some shopping and that is it. Could risk not having the insurance and may do that. If I decide to purchase insurance how much approximately should it cost for an SUV one day trip? How much approximately for a 4-door one day trip? If you are marketing something don't respond I don't want your unbiased sales pitch. Are any of the online companies reputable? if so, who?""
""I had full coverage auto insurance, my policy lapsed for 2 days & during that time I had an accident am I cov?
The Insurance company is Coast Insurance in California. The accident happened during the 2 day lapse period. I have been with the company for approx 10yrs
When to get health insurance for your newborn?
I am in my first trimester and just wondering when do I need to get health insurance for my newborn-the health insurance is United Healthcare and offered through my job
Which minivan has the cheapest insurance for a NEW driver?
looking at second hand minivans - been doing some rough online insurance calculations but so far all above 1000. any body know any minivans which will have a low insurance for a NEW driver
Car insurance Question?
I was driving my friends car. I hit someone. It was my fault. My friend has insurance but I dont know what kind of coverage. I was driving her car because she needed to borrow my truck. If her insurance doesnt cover her damage should I help her pay for it even though I was doing her a favor by borrowing my truck?
Can I get car insurance for my work place way from home?
can I get car insurance for my work place way from home
Can I purchase life insurance for our family without a physical exam?
We have a new baby and we both need to be insured. Is it possible to purchase affordable life insurance without a physical exam?
Do i need to insure my popup camper?
I just bought an 88 viking pop up camper here in Michigan, and was wondering, do i need to insure it? is it a law? or just a recommendation? im hearing many things when i ask that question and i really need a for sure thing here. i dont want to get pulled over and get ticketed for having no insurance on it. but i also dont want to pay 300 dollars a month for something i bought for $450. Thanks!""
Affordable car insurance for teen drivers?
I am currently 17 and I will have my license for a year on April 28th. I had one minor accident in October but I finally found a car that I can afford payments on that is a really nice car but all the insurance companies are giving me rates over $200 that I can't afford because I don't have the money to pay that and a car payment. Is there anyway I can get the car and get low insurance rates?
Help me with me car insurance?
i am 34 years old have a new license with pass plus and recentley bought a car. what is the cheapest car insurance for me(third party) thanks
Buying a new car..insurance help?
So need some help.ive bought a brand new car which is coming on the way from suppliers so will take a few weeks.so i have a car im trading which ive never done before so im unsure wot to do about insurance as the insurance on my current car expires 13th feb and the garage will nd a cover note of new insurance to tax car..and as i dont know the reg plate yet.same for tax of car what do i do when renewal letter comes through(renewal date 31st jan)as hopefully will hv car by then.
""How much taxes will be taken out of $250,000 life insurance?
I am getting a life insurance policy pay out. Does anyone know how much taxes will be taken out?
All young adults pay attention...what's the cheapest yet best car insurance you have found?
I'm 19, dad wants me to buy my own car get my own insurance etc. Any pointers?""
Has legislative push for affordable insurance been cut short in the u.s congress?
Has legislative push for affordable insurance been cut short in the u.s congress?
Has anyone used Canadian Direct Insurance and experienced any issues or problems?
They offer great rates for auto insurance but before considering switching to them I'm curious as to whether other people in Alberta or British Columbia have had pleasant or unpleasant experiences with them.
What company has the best auto insurance rates for people with speeding tickets?
What company has the best auto insurance rates for people with speeding tickets?
How much is your auto insurance?
Im trying to get n average estimate of auto insurance since i will be driving soon. I know its diffrent from your insurance company but if you live north carolina and your a teenager with a used car what would it most likely be?
Life Insurance?
Is life insurance under rated? If so explain why?
Can car insurance cost more if you are a different race?
So I'm watching a judge show right now and the guy was like I didn't put the insurance in my name because I'm a black male, so it would be more. I put it in her name because she is a black female. What does race have to do with anything in the statement? Is it true that insurance is more if you are a different race?""
Does anybody know the average daily cost of having your newborn stay in the NICU?
I know most people have insurance that helps cover a certain %, but what amount is the real cost that the hospital bills the insurance company and the patient pay?""
How to find cheap insurance for my 318i bmw 1999?
How to find cheap insurance for my 318i bmw 1999?
I want to name my new insurance company?
i want to name my new insurance company
How much will my car insurance cost for 16 year old girl in possibly a ford taurus?
I'm going to be 16 and obviously I'm a girl. I might end up driving a ford taurus. But it's not decided yet. I'm going to put on as a secondary on my car and them my moms dodge grand caravan and my dads dodge dakota. Secondary on all. How much will my insurance probably cost? Would it be smarter to just be a primary on my car and not even on anyone else's car or would it be smarter to just be a secondary on my car? Or a secondary on all? Thanks
I want to buy a used car soon. I was wondering if having an alarm system on the car would make insurance cheap?
Like when you own a house or buying...you have home owners insurance. It sometimes makes insurance cheaper is you have an alarm system. So would the same thing be possible for a car?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-override-life-insurance-policy-regarding-willie-snyder/"
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Drew Barrymore ‘I don’t pretend to be perfect’
Drew Barrymore is back on our screens, this time as a flesh-eating estate agent. She tells Rebecca Nicholson about the endless ups and downs of her life from child star to teen rebel, and savvy producer to business woman and explains why shell fight to the death to be happy
Drew Barrymore walks into the hotel room in Berlin flanked by assistants, caked in heavy TV make-up and wrapped in a brown fluffy jacket that makes her look like a very glamorous teddy bear. Within seconds, the entourage has disappeared, shes wiped every last scrap of foundation from her face and shes rummaging around underneath her dress, a kind of earth mother hippy smock, regretting her decision to wear tights on this sub-freezing day. Why does anyone wear pantyhose? she exclaims, barefaced, faux-exasperated, shifting in her armchair, trying to get comfortable. Theyre so fucking sadistic! Theyre not even control pants, she says, conspiratorially, but Im forcing them to be.
For a lot of women, especially women who grew up between 1982 and the early 2000s, Barrymore is a particular kind of icon. Shes the accessible rebel we all wanted to be, or be friends with. Shes the child star of ET who hit the skids early and hard, and not only survived, but went on to be one of the most popular (and bankable) female stars of the past three decades. She appeared in, and often produced, the kinds of movies that are vital viewing for teenagers, from the trashy taboo-busting rebellion of Poison Ivy, to the triumphant high school romcom Never Been Kissed, to the moody angst of Donnie Darko. Plus, in her 20s, she seemed to hang out with the best bands, go to all the best parties and always looked like she was having the time of her life. She was the manic pixie dream girl before it became a tacky indie film stereotype. The memoir she wrote in 2015 is, appropriately, called Wildflower.
She looks genuinely pleased that she holds such a place in peoples minds, and decides that if people do like her, If anyone has any goodwill towards me, careful not to sound arrogant, its because she extends goodwill to other people. Not in an annoying way, but just, like, being in peoples fucking corners. Its this combination of soft and sharp, all wrapped up in that valley girl lilt, that has carried her through life. I want people to be happy, but I know happiness has to be fought for. Its a warrior trophy. Its not hippy, she insists. Im like, fight. Fight to the death to be happy, and dont kill anyone along the way.
Little riot grrrl: Drew Barrymore with Steven Spielberg at the age of five on the set of 1982s ET. Photograph: Everett Collection/Rex Features
Were in Germany to talk about Santa Clarita Diet, the new Netflix series which has brought her back into the spotlight again at 41. Its a warm and occasionally gross 10-part comedy about Sheila and Joel, estate agents who have been together since their school days, and whose marriage is tested when the amiable Sheila develops a sudden taste for human flesh.
I stopped working to have my kids and take care of them and raise them, and so I was nervous about working again, she says. I was going through a dark time in my own life. And then I read it and I liked it. Now what am I supposed to do? I cant do this right now, its terrible timing, my whole life is falling apart. She ended up executive producing it as well as starring.
That her life was falling apart out of the spotlight was a new thing for Barrymore, who had played out most of her life in a very public sphere. No ones talking about my life. I mean, yes, I had a divorce, but even that was real quiet. She split up with actor Will Kopelman, the father of her two children, Olive, four, and Frankie, two, at the beginning of 2016, but recently posted an Instagram of him running the New York marathon; she was there, with their daughters, to support him. It was like, Oh, they didnt work out, I wonder why? Oh my God they seem like such good friends, and so amicable, I guess well stop giving a shit. I was so happy about that, she says, breezily.
Warm and occasionally gross: Barrymore in Santa Clarita Diet. Photograph: Erica Parise/Netflix
In the midst of her divorce, Santa Clarita Diet was a transformative experience. Ironically, it wasnt the worst timing. It was great. It was really happy. It was a good summer. My daughters and I got to go out to California and I got three days off a week. Just as becoming a proto-zombie saves Sheila from the numbing boredom of domestic life, Barrymore went through her own kind of rejuvenation. I feel like Sheila. I feel like maybe I was dead inside, she says cheerfully, blowing her nose. I dont know. I was in a place in my life where I had gained a lot of weight, and been in a place of fear and sadness, and I felt stuck. I dont think thats so much unlike the character.
Until she took time away from acting to have kids, Barrymore had never not worked. She began her career at 11 months in an advert for dog food, quickly becoming the main breadwinner for herself and her mother, Jaid, who raised her alone. Her father John Barrymore, of the Barrymore acting dynasty The great line of loonies from which I come, as she puts it wasnt around much. Her extraordinary youth was public and well-documented. Her breakout role in ET, at five years old, was followed by an outlandish few years of childhood boozing and drug-taking, rehab and institutions, and the sense that, at 14, she was washed up and her career was over.
But it wasnt. She moved into an apartment by herself, got a job in a coffee shop, learned how to do her own laundry and, eventually, clawed her way back into the business, defeating the curse of the child actor where so many others have been lost. She has said her 20s were a kind of delayed adolescence. Now, in her 40s, shes had a lifetimes worth of parties and experiences, and says she doesnt miss it at all. I dont feel like Im not at the centre of things. I dont worry about career stuff. I dont worry about who the hottest band is or that Im not at that show that night. I dont care if the latest trend is happening and its just passing me by.
Star quality: Barrymore with Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu in Charlies Angels. Photograph: Image Net
Her idea of a good time these days is taking the girls to Disney World, or setting up movie nights for the kids in my daughters class. I just watched Home Alone and all the moms and I were crying at the end. Oh my God, its so good! I appreciate it now much more than I did when I was younger.
Shes too classy to be drawn into any child actor comparisons it would be patronising, annoying, no thanks, she says, nicely but firmly but we talk more broadly about celebrity scandals. Everyone goes up and goes down. Thats life. Nobody wants all of it looked at and discussed. However, if you do put yourself out there, then you need to be prepared for that to be examined and you have to handle it to the best of your abilities. So for people who are like [she puts on a whiny voice]: Dont look at me you put yourself out there!
Is there any way to avoid being examined and discussed? Not in this day and age. You just try to manage things in the healthiest way you can. And by the way? You wont all the time. Youre gonna fuck up. So fuck up, then pick yourself back up. But just be nice and kind and humble and gracious and have a sense of humour. And dont pretend to be perfect.
Golden girl: winning a Golden Globe for Grey Gardens in 2010. Photograph: NBC/Getty Images
Barrymore dealt with her own initial fuck-ups in an incredible and startling memoir, Little Girl Lost, which she wryly calls, The mea culpa book I wrote when I was 14. She appeared on Oprah with her mother to promote it, to go over what went wrong. You can watch it on YouTube; shes 15 going on 35. Yet the book has a cult following, in part because it makes all the partying she did as a young child sound kind of adventurous. Yeah! Its like an 80s cult tragedy book, which is super cool and wrong and fun all at the same time. Its a little riot grrrl, you know?
Theres a chapter where Barrymore describes being hauled off to an institution at her mothers behest, and shes furious at the starstruck guards. God, youve just yanked me out of my house with cuffs on, I thought, and now youre asking me what it was like to meet ET. What jerks, she writes. Even at 14, she had a disdain for celebrity. Still do, she says, today.
We meet on the afternoon of Trumps inauguration. She plans to watch it later, as shes a total news junkie, but she doesnt particularly want to talk about what she thinks of him. Im not a painter and Im not a musician and I think people dont want to hear it from actors, she says. I read this op-ed in the New York Times that was saying, just do things quietly, in your art.
Slasher: Barrymore in Wes Cravens Scream, 1996. Photograph: Allstar
Barrymore is more about the practical. During her screen break, she wrote Wildflower, which became a New York Times bestseller, and shes built a sizeable business empire, including Barrymore wines, a production company, Flower Films, and beauty brand Flower Cosmetics. All of which channel some of that free-spirit warmth into profits reports suggest shes worth $125m. Theres a line in Santa Clarita Diet where Sheila announces: I sleep two hours a night. I get so much done! It struck me that for Barrymore, spinning so many plates, that might be funny. Actually, she says, it was originally written that Sheila would use her spare time to learn French. Me, in my real life, would spend time learning French. This woman literally has a ticking clock on her mortality. Shed be studying fucking Bruce Lee moves and learning to do shit. The line was changed at Barrymores request: instead of learning a language, Sheila would get the ability to parallel park in one move. Im, like, yes! Thats practical!
Its strange to see Barrymore, who seemed to be an eternal teenager, starring as the mother of a teenager in Santa Clarita Diet, partly because her fame is life-long, and you can see interviews with her at almost every age on YouTube. But, she says, she never watches them, never goes back. Hell no. The only thing I ever think when I see myself when Im younger, if Im on a talk show and Im stuck there having to watch clips, is that I was so much more brassy when I was young. Im like: Where do you get the balls, kid?
She says it as if those balls have disappeared with age. She claims shes much more polite now. Sarcastic, but polite. And worse still, she tries to say shes newly dull. In my life Im just so quiet and boring, she declares, not entirely convincingly. This is Drew Barrymore, after all, who talks with the hunger of someone who will always be on the lookout for something new, whether thats being a mother, a businesswoman, or playing a friendly estate agent who kills and eats bad people. I am pretty boring, she insists. I tell her I dont believe it. She smiles slyly, and leans in. Theres a rebel in her still. Im not sure I believe it either.
Santa Clarita Diet launches on Netflix on 3 February
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from Drew Barrymore ‘I don’t pretend to be perfect’
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