#more edom angst cause idk how to stop whoops

[ammiiexxx]

36 + Malec for the prompt thing. Love your writing!

Ahhh thank you so much! :D I’m sorry this is long overdue oml i’m finishing up uni this week and i’ve had exams from HELL soooo

For my 100 follower special, which you can still send prompts for until THIS FRIDAY!

36. “I don’t know who I am without you.”

Read on AO3!

The silence is deafening.

The key slides into the lock, metal scraping together andsending shivers through his bones. With a slow turn, the door clicks, openingelegantly.

It doesn’t squeak open.

It doesn’t make a sound.

With each step, he can hear the sound of his feet thuddingagainst the floor. The sound is loud against the stark silence around him. Thezipper on his jacket jingles as he turns, and it’s chime sends chills up hisspine.

It’s too loud.

The door closes behind him, and he turns towards the livingroom, padding through the familiar halls of the entryway. His hands slide overthe shelves, eyes trailing across the random items stocked in them.His eyes find that familiar box.

His breath hitches, but he doesn’t reach for it.

His thoughts, once quiet and cooperative with the silence,roar to life. Memories of their fights, of the squabbles over what was in this box come back to haunt him. There’sregret laced in the memories, humiliation and shame. It fades into sadness, andhe can feel the tears threatening to show themselves once more.

His eyes drift from the box, leaving its memories in wakebehind him. His loud footsteps continue to thunder in his ears. He can hear theslide of the fabric against his body, the gentle inhales and exhales as hestrides into the living room.

The lights are off, and the living room itself is dark, withthe only light coming from the skyline outside. It’s haunting almost, thedarkness. It envelopes the area, suffocating the warm hues from the couches andreplacing it with cold tones. The flowers on the coffee table have died, robbedof their source of life.

He understands the feeling.

As he turns, he notices the book on the edge of the couch,pages splayed open and abandoned for something else. He balls his fist, closinghis eyes before continuing forward.

He doesn’t know what to really expect. Perhaps he was hopingto find a light on, to find a familiar figure sleeping soundly under thosesatin sheets he’d come to love. Perhaps he was looking for a sign, a sign thatsomeone was here, that this place hadn’t been left to collect dust until hereturned.

Perhaps…perhaps it was too much to hope for.

He’s been in every room, checking high and low for a sign oflife. Magnus’ apothecary is neat and tidy, with ingredients for potionsproperly placed out of the way and locked up for safe keeping. Even the kitchenis spotless, not a damn dish in the sink. The place is—dare he say—absolutely spotless.

Just the way Magnus had left it.

Alec’s stomach lurches at the thought. His unsteady breathbreaks apart the frozen silence of the loft.

Magnus is gone.

It’s only been three days. Three long days of stiffening,deafening silence. His phone only goes off when the Institute needs him, andeven then, its far less often than he’d like. He hasn’t come back to the loftsince Magnus left for Edom. Without Magnus, there’s been nothing for him here.

Even outside of the loft, he can’t escape the imprint Magnushas made on his life. Everything reminds him of Magnus, whether it be news ofWarlock activity, or the Downworld Cabinet meetings in the Institute. He’stried taking walks, tried to get out of the Institute in hopes that he could forgetthe pain of Magnus leaving, just for a little while.

It never works.

There’s always something that reminds him of Magnus.Restaurants and small shops remind him of their dates. Advertisements of thelatest fashion trends remind him of Magnus’ impeccable fashion sense. Even thedifferent bars he visited remind him of Magnus, of their first date, of the dayhe came home drunk and—

Alec’s heart aches in his chest, his mind swirling.

His feet have led him into the apothecary, hovering close tothe wooden desk. His eyes trail across the mahogany, across its polishedexterior, across the papers of ingredients and lists of clients, until he liftshis gaze upward. His breath dies in his lungs.

On Magnus’ desk lies a single picture frame of standardsize, and in it houses the picture of them lying together on the couch onenight. He remembers that night clearly, when they invited everyone over to playmundane board games. There was glasses of wine and a very heated game ofMonopoly, but it had felt so domestic, so…normal.

While waiting for their turns, Alec had snuggled next toMagnus on the couch, head ducked into the crook of his neck, resting silentlyon his shoulder. His eyes had closed, wearing a soft smile as Magnus wrappedhis arm around him. At the time, he didn’t know Izzy took the opportunity tosnap the picture, but when she gave it to them a few days later, he wasn’t somad.

But now, seeing this photo and of them together, happy, here…

It hurts.

He picks up the frame, fingertips trailing over the photo.The pads of his fingers brush against the glass, across the loving expressionhis boyfriend gives him.

The silence comes back once more, louder than ever. Alec canfeel his bottom lip tremble, his walls around his heart crumbling.

“I don’t know who I amwithout you,” he whispers out loud, eyes still glued to the photo. “I feellike I’ve lost a piece of myself…like a part of me has died.” He frowns at thewords, dark brows creasing together. “It’s similar to when Jace died, but…athousand times worse.”

He inhales sharply, breath shuddering. His knees buckleunder him and he falls to the ground with a soft thud. He gives a second glanceto the photo before he brings it close, cradling it to his chest. His eyesflutter shut. “Please come back, Magnus.You promised you would.”

The whispered statements are weak, voice cracking andwavering with emotions he’s kept in for too long. He doesn’t want to livewithout Magnus by his side. He loves him so, so dearly. As he curls up on the floor hugging the photo, the tearshe’s held back start flowing down his cheeks. Sobs break from his lips. The silencearound him only amplifies the actions.

Magnus is gone.

It’s only been three days, but somehow, he knows that thisis only the beginning.

Come send me a prompt!

Prompt List!