#more because one spoiler said there was romance drama

[airybcby]

જ⁀♡⊹｡° please don’t ruin this for me

♡ a/n — for my childhood friends to lovers series!

♡ word count — 2.3k

♡ content — eita otoya x fem! reader, fem! reader, childhood friends to lovers, SPOILERS FOR the NEL arc, goes from childhood to NEL, mentions of cheating ( both otoya and reader ) , slight nsfw ( mentioned but not explicit ) , slight playboy otoya, miscommunication, longest thing i've ever written, lmk if i missed anything!

♡ synopsis — Whether you were together or not, you'd always been eita otoya's. And he had always been yours, no matter what.

The first time Otoya told someone you were dating, you were seven years old, sitting on the swings during recess, kicking your legs back and forth as he proudly made his announcement.

“We’re in love, duh,” he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His hand, warm and slightly sticky from the juice box he just finished, was firmly holding yours.

You didn’t question it. Instead, you nodded along enthusiastically. “Yeah! We’re gonna get married and have a big house and eat candy for dinner every night.”

Your teacher, overhearing the conversation, sighed as she handed back your coloring pages. “That’s… nice. But please sit down now.”

It was silly. Just one of those things kids did after watching too many fairy tales and dramas.

But a week later, Otoya made a big show of breaking up with you during lunch.

“I don’t wanna marry you anymore,” he declared, arms crossed like he had thought long and hard about this decision.

You gasped, clutching your chest dramatically. “Fine, because I don’t wanna marry you either!”

The kids sitting around you both let out a collective, scandalized gasp, as if they were witnessing a tragic romance unfold before their very eyes.

You didn’t speak for the rest of lunch. Both of you sat in exaggerated silence, chewing your sandwiches in a way that made it very clear you were upset.

For about five minutes.

Then Otoya nudged your arm. “Wanna play tag?”

“…Yeah.”

And that was that.

You were still best friends, still inseparable, still attached at the hip.

That was how it always was. No matter what happened, Otoya always found his way back to you.

Until one day, he didn’t.

By the time you both entered junior high, the jokes about dating slowly faded away, replaced by real relationships.

Just never with each other.

Otoya had girlfriends now. A lot of them.

It wasn’t surprising—he was easygoing, charismatic, and could make anyone laugh. Girls naturally gravitated towards him.

What was surprising, though, was how effortlessly he let them go.

None of his relationships lasted long, but he never seemed heartbroken. If anything, his exes didn’t even seem bothered by their breakups. He’d flash them a lazy grin the next day in class, crack a joke, and just like that, everything was fine.

You never once saw him cry over a girl.

And for the first time since you’d met him, you were just his friend.

There were no more playful declarations of love, no more jokes about getting married.

Maybe you’d outgrown all of that.

Or maybe, just maybe, it had stopped feeling like a joke.

The first time you kissed Otoya, you told yourself it didn’t mean anything.

It was an accident.

Or at least, that’s what you wanted to believe.

It was late. His soccer practice had run long, and he had shown up at your house afterward, climbing through your window like he always did, flopping onto your bed like he owned the place.

You had been talking about everything and nothing at all, laughing over some dumb inside joke, when suddenly, he leaned in.

His gaze flickered to your lips for just a second before he closed the space between you, pressing his mouth to yours in a way that was soft, slow, and entirely too familiar—like he had been waiting for this moment forever.

When he pulled away, he grinned lazily, his voice just above a whisper.

“That was your first kiss, huh?”

You swallowed, trying to steady your breathing. “…Yeah.”

His expression softened. “Guess we just made a good memory together.”

That was how it started.

A kiss turned into two.

Two turned into nights spent tangled in sheets, your hands in his hair, his mouth tracing patterns against your skin.

When you finally gave yourself to him completely, he had laughed against your collarbone and murmured, “I’ll keep it safe for you.”

Good friends did this, apparently.

Good friends walked home together after his soccer practices, hands lazily intertwined.

Good friends fell asleep in the same bed, limbs tangled like it was natural.

Good friends still slept together—even when Otoya had a girlfriend.

And everyone thought you were dating.

But you weren’t.

At least, not officially.

Then one day, one of Otoya’s nameless girlfriends pulled you aside after school.

“You need to stop hanging around him so much,” she snapped, her arms crossed tightly. “It’s pathetic how you just follow him around like a lost puppy.”

You blinked, startled. “I—”

She scoffed. “You really think I don’t notice? Every girl who dates Otoya knows about you. We all know we’re just fillers until you decide you actually want him.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but nothing came out.

Because deep down, you weren’t sure she was wrong.

That night, you lay awake, staring at the ceiling, the weight of everything pressing down on you.

Maybe this wasn’t normal. Maybe, in trying to feel something, you had hurt people in the process.

So you stopped.

No more late-night visits. No more whispered secrets.

And strangely, Otoya didn’t stop you.

You thought maybe he’d notice. That maybe he’d say something.

But if he did, he never said a word.

And the girls beside him kept changing.

The first few days without Otoya were… strange.

You told yourself it was normal—people drifted apart all the time. This was just a natural part of growing up, right?

But the silence was loud.

There was no more tapping at your window late at night, no lazy texts asking what you were doing, no sudden arms slung over your shoulders as he teased you about some random thing.

It was quieter.

At first, you thought you were the one keeping the distance, that it was your choice. That if you ever wanted to hear from him, all you had to do was reach out.

But weeks passed, and you didn’t hear a word.

No texts. No calls.

Nothing.

Then, one afternoon, the realization came crashing down in the most mundane of ways.

You were in the school bathroom, washing your hands, when a girl burst into the stall next to you, her voice thick with frustration.

“He just left for some soccer training camp—‘Blue Lock’ or something! Didn’t even warn me,” she cried, sniffling.

Your stomach dropped.

“What?!” one of her friends gasped. “Wait—like Otoya? He’s gone?!”

The girl let out a sharp, bitter laugh. “Yeah. Just poof. Didn’t even bother saying goodbye.”

Your breath caught.

The cold water from the sink ran over your fingers, but you barely felt it.

He left?

He left?

Your mind raced. There was no way that was true. Otoya wouldn’t just go without saying anything. Right?

You fumbled for your phone, hands shaking as you scrolled through your messages.

His name sat there, undisturbed, with your last conversation from months ago.

And suddenly, it hit you—

You hadn’t noticed.

He had vanished from your life, and you had been so convinced you were choosing the distance that you didn’t even realize he was already gone.

You gripped the edge of the sink, feeling sick.

This was Otoya. The boy who had been with you since childhood, the boy who was always by your side. How had you not seen it?

Had he even wanted you to notice?

The thought made your chest ache.

Because if he had, he would have said something, wouldn’t he?

And yet—he hadn’t.

He had left without a word.

Without a goodbye.

Like you didn’t matter at all.

Blue Lock was exhausting.

Physically, mentally, emotionally—it took everything out of him. But Otoya thrived in chaos, so he never let it get to him.

Or at least, that’s what he told himself.

But sometimes, in the rare quiet moments between matches, when the adrenaline faded and there was nothing left to distract him, he’d find himself scrolling through his phone, staring at your contact.

The urge to text you was unbearable.

Should he?

Would you even care?

He thought about the last time he saw you—the way you had started pulling away, the way you had stopped looking for him.

Had you already decided he wasn’t worth keeping around?

That thought made something bitter settle in his throat.

Maybe this was for the best.

Maybe, if you had wanted him in your life, you would have noticed he was gone.

So he locked his phone, tossed it onto his bed, and pretended it didn’t bother him.

That you didn’t bother him.

That the ache in his chest wasn’t loneliness, but just another part of the game.

And in the end, he never pressed send.

You didn’t even know why you were here.

Well. That was a lie.

You knew exactly why you were here.

It wasn’t for the game, and it sure as hell wasn’t for Japan’s future in soccer.

You just wanted to see him.

Even after everything, after months of silence, after the way he had left you behind without a second thought—

You still wanted to see him.

The moment the match started, your eyes found him instantly.

Otoya was different.

Stronger, faster, sharper.

But more than that—he belonged here.

And for the first time, you wondered if maybe this was why he never looked back.

Because he didn’t need to.

The game was intense. You barely processed the score, the plays, or the tension in the stadium. All you could do was watch him.

And then, it was over.

Your breath was unsteady as you weaved through the crowd, pushing past people, trying to make your way down to the field before you lost sight of him.

And then—

You saw him.

Standing there, laughing, his expression relaxed and carefree as he spoke to a red-haired girl.

She was smiling, leaning close.

And just like that, something inside you snapped.

You stopped in your tracks.

You shouldn’t have been surprised. Otoya had always been like this, right? Easy. Charming. He moved on from people without a second thought.

And yet, it still hurt.

Because while you had spent the last few months feeling his absence like an open wound, he didn’t even look like he missed you at all.

Your hands curled into fists.

You weren’t going to do this to yourself.

You turned on your heel and walked away, not looking back.

And this time, you swore—

You were really going to leave him behind.

Time did what it always did—it moved forward, dragging you along with it whether you wanted it to or not.

You went to university. You got good grades. You found new friends, new routines, new ways to keep yourself busy.

And somewhere along the way, you convinced yourself that you had moved on.

You weren’t the same girl who spent sleepless nights staring at her phone, hoping for a text that never came. You weren’t the same girl who walked away from that stadium feeling like she had lost something she didn’t even realize she still wanted.

You were fine.

And you had a boyfriend now.

He wasn’t Otoya—he wasn’t playful or reckless, didn’t make your heart race with a single look—but he was steady. Reliable. Safe.

And for a while, you told yourself that was enough.

But then came the nights when you found yourself alone, flipping through channels until you landed on an FC Barcha match.

And every single time—without fail—your eyes found him.

Eita Otoya.

Older now, sharper, wearing that signature smirk like it had never left his face.

He moved across the field like he owned it, like he was made for this. And watching him, you felt the same ache in your chest that you had buried for years.

You were fine.

That’s what you kept telling yourself.

But if that was true, then why did it feel like your heart stopped every time you saw him on the screen?

The night Otoya came back, it was supposed to be simple.

You had movie plans with your boyfriend. He was supposed to come over, bring takeout, sit next to you on the couch, and pretend not to notice when you inevitably got distracted by your phone halfway through.

But when the knock came, and you opened the door—

It wasn’t him.

It was Otoya.

And he didn’t say a word.

He just stepped inside, grabbed your face, and kissed you.

Your heart stopped.

Your mind screamed at you to push him away, to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing—

But your body betrayed you.

Your fingers curled into his jacket, pulling him closer as his hands found your waist. He kissed you like he had been starving for it, like he was trying to make up for every lost second, every wasted moment spent apart.

And you let him.

You kissed him back like he was oxygen, like you had spent years trying to convince yourself you didn’t need him—only to realize, in this moment, that you still did.

That you always did.

“I missed you,” he murmured against your lips, his forehead resting against yours. His voice was lower now, rougher, like he had spent years trying not to say those words. “You don’t even know how much.”

You felt dizzy.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

But before you could say anything, before you could even think—

“What the fuck is this?”

You froze.

Otoya’s lips left yours, his gaze flicking over your shoulder.

And there, standing in the open doorway, was your boyfriend.

The takeout bag in his hand was slipping, forgotten, as his face twisted into something between disbelief and rage.

“What the fuck, Y/N?”

Your stomach dropped.

You hadn’t even heard him come in.

Otoya didn’t move.

Didn’t look guilty.

Didn’t even seem bothered.

He just blinked lazily, like he was barely interested in the whole situation, and then—

With absolutely no hesitation—

He walked to the door and shut it.

Right in your boyfriend’s face.

Then, just as easily, he turned back to you, smirking.

“You don’t need him,” he murmured, brushing his fingers over your jaw. “You have me now.”

And when he kissed you again, you let him.

Because the truth was—

You had always been his.

slight comeback but really just bc i had to get this out of my brain

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[mononijikayu]

i have love and dreams too — gojo satoru.

Yuji looked down at his hands, feeling a strange sense of guilt. “Do you really think… you can never have that life you want?” Satoru didn’t answer right away. Instead, he closed his eyes, letting the wind ruffle his silver hair. For a moment, he was just Satoru—not the strongest, not the invincible sorcerer, but a man burdened by the life he had to lead. “I don’t know, Yuji……” he said quietly, almost to himself. “But I like to dream that maybe, someday… we could all disappear. And live. Just live.  Just me, my wife, Megumi, Tsumiki, Satoshi… away from everything. Living in peace.”

WARNING/S: spoilers for chapter 271 of jjk (spoilers at your behest), domesticity, fluff, angst, trauma, implied death, violence, romance, hurt/comfort, character death depiction of death, depictions of loss and depression, depiction of blood, depiction of killing, depiction of suffering, depiction of anxiety, mention of death, mention of grief, profanity, family drama;

WORDS: 6.8k words.

NOTE: i rush wrote this at uni, at the restaurant i was at and then a car on the way back and forth from uni and home. i just started crying profusely because i hated how jjk ended. and i hated that panel with satoru and yuji because i just kept crying. i cant believe this is the end, but i cant believe even more that this is what satoru had to deal with. this is the most rushed end and the saddest end.

i wish gege had decided to take a break and decided to take his time. but alas this is not my story. still, id like to make more for satoru. ones where he'd be so loved. genmei (you) and satoru will always be happy in whatever life you have, that i write. for bitter or for worse. even in death. smiling is all there will be. even with tears.

anyway, i hope you bear with me, for i am very emotional. thank you for understanding this situation. i love you all, i'll see you soon <3

masterlist

u s and t h e m

if you want to, tip! <3

GOJO SATORU IS EXHAUSTED. But he thinks that there is no use to sleep. He knows he cannot. The room was bathed in the soft glow of a single lamp, the light too dim to chase away the shadows that lingered in every corner, just like the uncertainty that hung between you and Satoru.

He sat across from you on the edge of the bed, his usual carefree demeanor gone, replaced by a solemn stillness that felt out of place on him. His eyes, usually so vibrant and mischievous, were tired tonight, the weight of tomorrow pulling down his every breath.

"You don’t have to do this." Your voice came out in a whisper, the words heavy with a desperation you’d been trying to suppress.

Satoru didn’t answer right away. His gaze was locked on the floor, and for a moment, you wondered if he was even listening. But then he looked up, his piercing blue eyes meeting yours, and there was something in them you rarely saw—fear.

"It’s not like I have a choice," he murmured, his voice strained. "You know that."

You did. And that made it worse. He was the strongest, after all. If anyone had to stand against Sukuna, it was him. But the weight of those expectations had never felt heavier than it did now, with the reality of the fight looming closer with every passing second.

"I hate this, Satoru." you confessed, your voice trembling. "I hate that it always comes down to you, that you’re the one who has to bear this."

Satoru smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He stood and crossed the small space between you, kneeling in front of you, his hands gently resting on your knees. His touch was warm, grounding, but it did nothing to quell the storm raging inside you.

"Hey." he said softly, lifting your chin so you’d look at him. "I know it’s not fair. But it’s what I have to do."

You shook your head, biting back the tears that threatened to spill. "But what if—" The words caught in your throat, the question too painful to finish.

Satoru’s thumb brushed against your cheek, wiping away a tear you didn’t even realize had fallen. "Don’t think about that," he whispered, his voice as soft as the night air outside. "Not tonight."

"But how can I not?" you shot back, your frustration breaking through. "How can I pretend that everything will be fine when I know you’re going to face him? When I know there’s a chance that—"

He silenced you with a kiss, his lips gentle but firm, grounding you in the present, in this moment. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin.

"I’ll come back to you," he promised, but even he couldn’t hide the uncertainty in his voice. “To you and Satoshi. And… I’ll bring Megumi and Tsumiki back. We’ll be a family again, like we used to be.”

It was the way he said it—so sure, so certain—that made it all the more unbearable. As if speaking it aloud would somehow make it true, would make the universe bend to his will the same way he bent the forces of space and time. But you knew better now, didn’t you? You’ve always known. Satoru Gojo, the man who was too powerful to fail, too stubborn to admit defeat, could never stop lying—not to you, not to himself. He believed in his own invincibility, as if his strength alone could rewrite the world.

But the world doesn’t work that way.

And you think then, that your husband has always been a liar.

You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve heard those words, promises wrapped in silk and carelessness, the way they tumbled off his tongue so casually. It was as though the act of saying it was enough for him, as though the truth could be commanded with just his voice. And maybe for a long time, it was.

Satoru Gojo, the strongest sorcerer, the man who could bend the world to his whims and yet still—he was human. And humans lie. Sometimes because they have to, sometimes because the lie feels better than the truth.

But tonight, in the quiet hours before dawn, the weight of his words pressed down harder than ever. We’ll be a family again, like we used to be. You wanted to scream at him, to shake him, to make him stop speaking as if the world was something he could fix with his bare hands. Megumi was gone, taken by darkness, by fate, and Tsumiki…Tsumiki was as good as lost to you both. Even if Satoru came back, even if he somehow survived this fight with Sukuna, the cracks in your family couldn’t simply be patched over like they had never existed.

You bit your lip, tasting the bitterness of unshed tears.

"You always say that," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the soft hum of the night. "But you don’t know this time, do you?"

His gaze faltered, the usual gleam in his eyes dimming for a fraction of a second. It was a flicker of something too vulnerable, too raw—something he rarely let anyone see. It was the truth that lingered behind his endless bravado, the truth that no amount of strength could hide: he didn’t know if he could win this time.

And you had known it all along.

Satoru had always come back to you. Bruised, battered, bleeding—but alive. He would stumble through the door with that infuriating grin, wipe the blood off his face with the back of his hand, and act like nothing had ever been in doubt. But this time was different. This wasn’t just another battle against curses or enemies who fell beneath his overwhelming strength. This was Sukuna.

"I’ll bring Megumi and Tsumiki back," he had said, as if they were just lost children in the woods, waiting for him to lead them home. But Megumi had slipped beyond reach, swallowed by the very darkness Satoru had spent his life fighting. How could he promise to bring him back when he could barely keep the pieces of himself together?

"You can’t save everyone, Satoru," you whispered, your heart breaking as you said it aloud, the truth as bitter as the lie was sweet. "Not even with all your power."

His hand tightened around yours, his grip almost too strong, as if holding onto you could somehow anchor him to the world, to the promise he so desperately wanted to believe. "I have to try," he murmured, his voice rough, as if the words themselves were painful to speak. "For you. For Satoshi. For them."

Satoshi. Your son. His name hung in the air like a thread between you, a fragile tether that held what little remained of your family together. You could see it in Satoru’s eyes—the fear of leaving his child without a father, the guilt of not being able to protect him from the storm that loomed over your lives. But you also saw the lie there, the same lie he told every time he went to war. The lie that he would come back unscathed, that he could shield all of you from the world’s cruelty just by being who he was.

But he couldn’t. Not this time.

"Satoru," you whispered, your voice breaking. "You don’t have to be everything for us. You don’t have to be invincible."

His eyes softened, and for a moment, just a moment, the mask slipped. He let you see the man beneath the legend, the man who was just as terrified as you were. "I’m not invincible," he admitted, the words barely audible. "But I can’t give up on them. I can’t give up on us."

You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Even in his most vulnerable moments, even when the odds were impossibly stacked against him, Satoru Gojo refused to let go of hope. He clung to it as fiercely as he clung to you, because to do anything less would mean admitting that maybe—just maybe—he wasn’t strong enough.

And in that moment, you realized something: it wasn’t that your husband was a liar. It was that he couldn’t afford to tell the truth, because if he did, the weight of it might break him.

So, you let him hold onto his lie, let him believe in a future where you, Satoshi, Megumi, and Tsumiki could all be together again. Maybe it was kinder that way. For both of you.

As the night stretched on and the inevitable dawn crept closer, you pressed your face against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. For now, that was all you had—the warmth of him beside you, the sound of his heart still beating, the fragile hope that somehow, against all odds, he would come back to you.

And maybe, just maybe, the lie would come true.

“I always have, don’t I?” he added, a faint smirk pulling at the corner of his lips, that signature bravado surfacing in an attempt to reassure you. “I’ve always won the day. I’ll come back.”

Your husband’s bright eyes—those crystalline blue eyes that had seen so much, fought through so much—they betrayed him. Beneath that unwavering confidence, there was something else. Fear? Doubt? It was a crack in the façade of the invincible man you married, a truth too terrifying to speak aloud.

Your throat tightened as you met his gaze, the silence between you heavier than any words could be. He had always come back, hadn’t he? Through every impossible battle, every mission that should have left him broken or worse, he had somehow returned to you, grinning as if the world itself were a game only he knew how to win.

But that wasn’t the whole truth. The nights he returned bruised, bleeding, barely standing, those nights played in your mind like a broken record. He made light of it all, brushing off your worries with a laugh, a kiss, a flippant “I’m fine.” But those were lies too, weren’t they? Lies wrapped in love.

“Satoru,” you breathed, your voice unsteady, “you don’t have to say it.”

His smirk faltered, just for a second, and that brief flicker of vulnerability nearly undid you. He pulled you closer, his hand cradling the back of your neck, his touch tender but laced with desperation. "But I will come back," he insisted, his voice soft but firm. "I always do."

You wanted to believe him. You needed to. Because to imagine a world where he didn’t come back, where that promise wasn’t fulfilled, was a world too cruel to fathom. But tonight, as the shadow of Sukuna loomed larger than ever, the weight of that lie pressed down on you both. What if this time, his strength wasn’t enough?

“What if…” you started, but he silenced you with a finger pressed gently against your lips.

“No ‘what ifs,’” he whispered, though you both knew better than that. Satoru had lived his life defying fate, bending it to his will. But not even the strongest sorcerer could escape death forever.

His hand moved from your neck to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of your face as if trying to memorize it, as if this moment might be his last chance. You could see the weight of the world in his eyes, the burden of being the one everyone relied on, the one expected to face the impossible—and win.

But for once, he wasn’t invincible to you. He was just a man, your husband, and for the first time, you saw the lie for what it was: his way of protecting you. Of protecting himself from the truth that this might be the one fight he couldn’t walk away from.

You placed your hand over his, feeling the warmth of his skin, and in that moment, you didn’t care about lies or truths, about promises or fears. You just wanted him here, now, with you. "Then stay with me a little longer," you whispered, your voice breaking.

Satoru closed his eyes, exhaling deeply, and nodded. "I’m here," he said, pulling you into his arms, his voice a soft, almost broken promise. "I’m here."

And for tonight, that would have to be enough.

The two of you stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, neither speaking, just holding onto each other as if by doing so, you could freeze time, stop the inevitable from coming. You memorized the feel of his hands on your skin, the warmth of his body against yours, the sound of his heartbeat under your palm. You clung to the moment as if it were your last.

As the night wore on, you both lay down, tangled in each other’s arms. Sleep didn’t come easily, and when it did, it was fitful, haunted by the looming specter of tomorrow. You held onto him tightly, afraid that if you let go, he would disappear into the darkness, never to return.

In the early hours before dawn, Satoru stirred, his arms tightening around you one last time. The weight of the night clung to both of you, thick and heavy, the silence between his breaths and your heart beats a fragile barrier against the coming storm.

You felt him shift beside you, his warmth pulling you closer, as if holding you tighter could keep the inevitable at bay for just a moment longer. His fingers traced gentle circles on your back, his touch familiar, grounding, but laced with an unspoken tension.

"I’ll be back, hm?" he whispered again, the words soft and lingering in the stillness. His voice, usually so sure, faltered at the edges, as though he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to comfort you.

He said it like a prayer, like repeating it enough times could bend fate, twist reality to make it true. But you knew better. You both did. Those words, though meant to soothe, carried the weight of all the times you’d heard them before, and the growing fear that this time might be different.

You didn’t respond. You couldn’t. The knot in your throat tightened, a lump of unspoken fears and uncried tears. There was too much to say, too much that couldn’t be put into words without breaking whatever fragile hope remained between you. If you spoke now, you might lose whatever composure you had left, and you needed to hold on to it, if only for his sake.

Instead, you pressed your face against his chest, your ear resting just above his heart. The steady, rhythmic beating echoed through your body, its cadence familiar and reassuring, a sound that had become synonymous with home.

It was the same heartbeat you’d fallen asleep to countless nights, the one you’d clung to after long missions, when he’d returned battered but smiling, and you’d held him just like this—like he was your anchor to the world.

But this time, it was different. You weren’t just seeking comfort; you were memorizing it. The sound, the feel of his chest rising and falling beneath your cheek, the warmth of his skin against yours. You were committing it all to memory, engraving it deep into your soul because, somewhere in the back of your mind, a quiet voice whispered that this might be the last time.

Each beat of his heart became a marker, a reminder of the moments you had shared, of all the laughter and love and quiet nights like this one. But now, it also carried the weight of what could be lost. The inevitability of tomorrow pressed against your chest, suffocating, as if time itself was slipping through your fingers.

You tighten your grip around him, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, unwilling to let go, even as the sky outside began to lighten with the first traces of dawn. The sun was rising, and with it, the time for him to leave drew nearer.

Satoru’s hand moved to your hair, his fingers threading through it gently, soothingly. He kissed the top of your head, and though his touch was as tender as ever, there was a lingering sadness in it. He held you like he was trying to memorize you, too, like this was as much for him as it was for you. He didn’t say anything more, perhaps because he knew that no words would ease the ache that had settled between you, a chasm neither of you could cross.

As the first rays of sunlight filtered through the window, casting a soft, golden glow over the room, you felt him shift again, his breath hitching slightly as he prepared to rise. You wanted to beg him to stay, to forget about everything else, just for today. But you knew he couldn’t, and you wouldn’t ask that of him. He had a duty, a burden that he had carried for as long as you had known him. And no matter how much you wanted to keep him safe, you couldn’t shield him from what was coming.

When he finally moved to leave, your arms loosened around him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let go completely. Not yet. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead, lingering there for a moment longer than he needed to, as if he, too, was trying to hold on to this last fragment of peace before it was shattered.

“I’ll be back.” he whispered once more, his breath warm against your skin.

This time, you didn’t respond because you couldn’t. Instead, you closed your eyes, letting the sound of his heartbeat linger in your memory, holding onto it as tightly as you held onto him. The door would close behind him soon, and with it, he would walk into the fight of his life, a battle that you both knew could be his last. But for now, in this fleeting moment before dawn, you let yourself believe in the lie, because the truth was too painful to bear.

And when he finally left, the door closing softly behind him, you were left alone in the silence, the echo of his promise lingering in the air, fragile and fleeting.

HE DOESN’T KNOW WHY, BUT HE JUST FELT LIKE TALKING. Quite unlike him, if he was being honest with himself.  But as Gojo Satoru sat beside Itadori Yuji, all he could think about was peace of mind. And to do that, he thinks he should talk.

Gojo Satoru could feel his usual smirk playing at the corners of his mouth, though today it felt more subdued. They had been talking for a while now, their conversation meandering from one thing to another. But beneath Satoru’s lighthearted tone, Yuji sensed something deeper. Something weighed heavy on his teacher’s mind.

“When something happens, I want you to be there for me, Yuji.” Satoru said suddenly, his eyes staring ahead. His voice was soft, but not weak—it carried the strength of someone who had lived with the knowledge that he had to bear the world on his shoulders. “I have love and dreams too, you know.”

Yuji blinked, surprised by the vulnerability in Satoru’s words. He wasn’t used to hearing his sensei talk like this, with a depth that seemed so different from his usual carefree attitude.

Satoru glanced at Yuji, his smile widening slightly, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “But you know, one day, everyone will grow up and leave me behind, right?”

Yuji didn’t know how to respond. The idea of leaving Satoru behind felt impossible. But Satoru’s words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of his loneliness. It was a rare glimpse into the mind of the man everyone thought was invincible.

“I have high hopes for you.” Satoru continued, his voice becoming more playful, but there was something fragile beneath the surface. “Desire and ambition!”

“I could never forget you.” Yuji said as he smiled nervously, trying to deflect the seriousness with humor, though it didn’t quite land. 

Satoru sighed. “I honestly think it’s better to have someone stronger than me who can truly forget my existence.”

“Isn’t that a bit concerning, Sensei?” Yuji asked after a moment, tilting his head. “Are you okay with that?”

Satoru’s smile softened. “Ah, you’re so young and naïve!” he said fondly, his voice carrying an almost paternal tone. “You’re brimming with confidence, aren’t you?”

The conversation lulled, and for a moment, the two sat in silence, the air between them thick with unsaid things. And then, Satoru spoke again, but this time his voice was lower, as if he were confessing something he hadn’t shared with anyone else.

“You know, Yuji…..” Satoru began, his gaze distant. The most emotional Yuji had seen him to be. “Sometimes I wish I could just… run away. With my beloved. My wife. Megumi, Tsumiki, and little Satoshi too. I dream about it sometimes. Hiding us away somewhere no one could find us. No more battles, no more curses… just peace. We’d be a family again.”

Yuji looked at his sensei Gojo, stunned. He had never heard his teacher speak like this before, as though the weight of being the strongest had finally worn him down. Gojo Satoru’s dream of escaping, of living a quiet life with the people he loved—it was so human. 

So far removed from the man everyone saw as untouchable, undefeatable. But at this moment, Satoru wasn’t the strongest sorcerer in the world. He was just a man who wanted to protect the people he loved. A man who longed for something simple, something real.

“That’s my dream, my love and dreams.” Satoru whispered, his voice barely audible. “But I know it’s impossible. The world needs me too much.”

Yuji’s heart ached for him. He didn’t know what to say, so instead, he simply sat there, hoping that in his silence, his sensei could feel his support.

Satoru sighed, standing up and stretching as if to shake off the heaviness of their conversation. “Anyway, enough of that.” he said, flashing his usual grin. “Let’s focus on what’s in front of us.”

But even as he spoke, Yuji couldn’t shake the feeling that, deep down, Satoru Gojo longed for something far beyond his reach.

Yuji stared at Satoru, processing the weight of his sensei's words. It was hard to imagine Satoru Gojo, the invincible sorcerer who seemed so carefree, harboring such a vulnerable wish. A man who could crush enemies with ease, someone who always had the answers—yet, here he was, confessing a dream that would never come true.

“I never thought… you’d want something like that, Sensei.” Yuji admitted quietly, his voice breaking the silence. “I guess I never really thought about what you’d want outside of all this.”

Satoru glanced at him, a softer smile playing on his lips. “That’s the thing, isn’t it? When you’re as strong as I am, no one really thinks to ask what you want. They think you don’t need anything… or anyone.”

Yuji frowned, guilt washing over him. He hadn’t meant to think that way about Gojo Satoru, but it was true. He had always seen his teacher as larger than life, almost beyond human in his ability to control any situation, to be everywhere and nowhere at once.

"But... you have them, Sensei." Yuji said slowly, searching for the right words. "Your wife, Megumi, Tsumiki, and Satoshi… They need you, don't they? Maybe you can’t run away, but you still have something, sensei. A family. Isn't that enough?”

Satoru chuckled, but the sound was hollow, lacking its usual energy. He sat back down beside Yuji, his gaze once again distant. “You’d think that, right? But the stronger you are, the more people take from you. It’s like… I’m always on borrowed time. I’m always one fight away from leaving them behind too.”

Yuji swallowed hard. He’d never thought about Satoru’s life in that way. It was a sobering realization, that even someone as powerful as Gojo was constantly battling not just external threats but the fear of losing what little he had.

“I wish I could protect them from everything.” Satoru murmured. “Just take them somewhere far away… no more battles, no more cursed energy. Just… quiet. But no matter how strong I am, I can’t do that. I can’t just… leave the world to burn while we live in peace.”

He turned to Yuji then, his icy blue eyes piercing through the air. “You know, sometimes I think I was selfish for bringing them into my world. Megumi, Tsumiki, Satoshi… my wife. They didn’t ask for this. I chose this life for them.”

“Sensei.” Yuji started, unsure of what to say. His heart ached for Satoru. “They love you. And… they wouldn’t want to live without you, either. Even if it’s dangerous.”

Satoru’s lips twitched upward in a bittersweet smile. “Yeah, I know. But love’s a tricky thing, Yuji. It’s not enough to stop the world from trying to tear us apart. It never has been.”

Yuji nodded, not fully understanding, but feeling the gravity of Satoru’s words. There was a silence between them, but it was heavy with the weight of shared thoughts, of unspoken dreams and impossible futures.

Satoru leaned back, his hands resting behind his head. “But hey, that’s just how it goes, right? No point in dwelling on things we can’t change.”

He looked at Yuji with a bright grin, but it felt like a mask—one Yuji was starting to see through more and more. “So, enough about me. What about you? What are your dreams, Yuji?”

Yuji blinked, surprised by the sudden shift. “My dreams?”

Satoru nodded. “Yeah. You must have some. Or did you think I was the only one allowed to have them?”

Yuji scratched the back of his neck, thinking for a moment. “I guess… I don’t know. I never really thought that far ahead. I’ve been so focused on everything happening now, I never gave myself the chance.”

Satoru chuckled softly. “That’s the thing with us, sorcerers. We get so caught up in fighting for today, we forget to dream about tomorrow.”

Yuji looked down at his hands, feeling a strange sense of guilt. “Do you really think… you can never have that life you want?”

Satoru didn’t answer right away. Instead, he closed his eyes, letting the wind ruffle his silver hair. For a moment, he was just Satoru—not the strongest, not the invincible sorcerer, but a man burdened by the life he had to lead.

“I don’t know, Yuji……” he said quietly, almost to himself. “But I like to dream that maybe, someday… we could all disappear. And live. Just live.  Just me, my wife, Megumi, Tsumiki, Satoshi… away from everything. Living in peace.”

His voice trailed off, and Yuji could hear the longing in it. The truth was, Satoru Gojo might be the strongest sorcerer alive, but even he was bound by the same rules as everyone else. He couldn’t run from the world, couldn’t hide from the battles he had to fight.

But it didn’t stop him from dreaming.

Yuji looked at him with a new understanding, realizing that no matter how strong someone was, they still carried their own struggles, their own wishes and dreams. And sometimes, those dreams were just as fragile as anyone else's.

"Maybe one day, sensei." Yuji said softly, with an honest smile. "You won't have to fight anymore."

Satoru chuckled, opening one eye to glance at Yuji. "Maybe. But until then, we keep going."

And with that, the conversation ended, but the weight of it lingered between them—a reminder that even the strongest had dreams they longed to chase, even if those dreams were just out of reach.

YOU THINK YOU WAITED FOR THIS MOMENT FOR A LONG TIME. When you wait for your eyes to close with finality, the weight of the years presses down on you, a quiet fatigue settling into your bones. You’re tired—so tired—and when you open them again, you're met with the familiar sight of Fushiguro Megumi and Gojo Satoshi. Your two sons, waiting for you to go and leave them. 

Megumi stands tall, his arms crossed as usual, but his gaze softens when he sees you. Satoshi, ever his opposite, smiles that wide, carefree grin of his. They both look at you, concern etched into their features.

"I'm exhausted." you tell them softly, the words slipping out like a confession you’ve been holding in for far too long.

“You can’t die yet, Mother......" Satoshi pipes up, his voice steady, but the cracks of fear were unmistakable. His usual bright demeanor falters, his hands trembling ever so slightly as he grips the hem of his shirt. His voice may be steady, but his eyes betray him—glossed with unshed tears, reflecting a grief he’s not ready to face. Not now. Not yet. 

“You’re still too young!” There’s urgency in his words, a childlike plea echoing in his tone, though he’s long since grown past childhood. The way his shoulders hunch forward, the way his gaze darts between you and Megumi—he’s holding on. Clutching to hope as if his words could anchor you to this world a little longer. 

Megumi stands beside him, more composed, but his silence carries a weight just as heavy. He nods, his expression solemn. “He’s right, Gen-san.” Megumi adds quietly.

His voice is low, restrained, as though he’s struggling to hold back everything he truly wants to say. His hands remain tucked in his pockets, his face as unreadable as ever, but his eyes—the eyes you’ve known for so many years—hold a flicker of something deeper. Desperation? Fear? Perhaps both.

"You’re only 48. You still have time left."

His words are careful, deliberate, each one carrying the weight of someone who’s had to shoulder too much responsibility, too much loss. The faint tremor in his voice betrays how much he’s already bracing himself for another wound, another absence he’ll have to carry.

You look at them both—Satoshi, who still clings to hope as though it could somehow rewrite fate, and Megumi, whose quiet strength has always shielded him from the full brunt of the pain—but not this time. They both stand there, torn between urging you to stay and accepting the inevitable.

But you smile at them, a soft, knowing smile that carries the weight of the years, the joy and the sorrow, the love and the loss. It's a smile that’s lived through the ache of life without Satoru, a smile that remembers every laugh, every argument, every stolen glance, and every moment that felt too brief. 

“I know, I know......” you say, your voice gentle, steady. There’s a peace in your tone that they don’t yet understand, a quiet acceptance that fills the space between you. “But I’m ready. I’ve missed Satoru... for so long.”

And in that moment, as you say his name, the air feels lighter, as if the years of separation, the longing, the silent ache in your chest begins to unravel. You missed him—not just in fleeting moments or in passing thoughts, but in the depths of your soul. Every day, every night. The space he left behind has been a constant companion, a reminder of what once was and what could never be again.

The tears in Satoshi’s eyes finally spill over, and Megumi’s lips press into a thin line, his jaw tightening, but neither of them say anything. They understand, even if they don’t want to.

Because love—true, enduring love—is something that even death can’t diminish. And they know you loved Satoru with all that you were, and perhaps, even now, they understand that your heart has been waiting for him all along.

The weight in your chest lightens as you speak his name. Megumi frowns but doesn't say anything more, and Satoshi’s smile falters, understanding settling into their eyes. 

You close your eyes once again, the world fading into a peaceful darkness. There's a brief moment of silence, a quiet passing, before a familiar voice echoes softly, teasingly:

“Did you miss me?”

Tears well up before you even open your eyes. You don’t need to see him to know it’s him. The voice, that unmistakable voice—playful, laced with all the love and mischief you’d missed for too long.

When your eyes flutter open, there he is—Satoru, standing before you, that brilliant smile lighting up his face. The tears fall freely now, but for the first time in years, they're not from

“Satoru......” you breathe, his name barely a whisper on your lips, as though speaking it aloud might break the fragile moment. Your voice catches in your throat, a mix of disbelief, relief, and the sorrow that’s lived inside you for far too long.

It’s a name you’ve spoken to the silence of empty rooms, whispered into the night when no one was there to hear, a name tied to a thousand memories you’ve held onto so tightly for all these years. 

The tears that have welled up in your eyes begin to spill over, blurring the figure before you, but you don’t need to see him to know it’s him. You feel him—his presence, his warmth, the way his energy fills the space around you like it always did. 

He steps closer, closing the distance between you in a way that feels like the erasure of all those agonizing years of separation. His familiar warmth envelops you, wrapping around you like an embrace you’ve longed for, like a homecoming after a journey that has lasted far too long.

The brush of his thumb against your cheek is achingly gentle, tender as he wipes away the tears that won’t stop falling. His touch, so familiar, yet so missed, sends a wave of emotions crashing over you—grief for the years you lost, joy for the moment you never thought you’d have again.

"You came back to me, finally." His voice is quieter now, the usual teasing that you had come to know so well is gone, replaced by something deeper—something raw and vulnerable, a depth of emotion he often hid beneath his bravado.

There’s relief in his words, but also a quiet sorrow, as if he too felt the weight of all the time you’d spent apart. As if he too had been waiting, missing you just as much as you had missed him.

His breath is warm against your skin, and you hear the slight tremor in his voice, that hint of fragility in the man who always seemed invincible to you. There’s a vulnerability in him now, standing before you, as though he’s afraid this moment might not be real. Afraid that if he holds you too tightly, you might slip away again.

His thumb continues to trace gentle patterns along your cheek, the rhythm of it soothing and familiar, grounding you in the reality that he’s truly here. And as he looks at you, his bright blue eyes softer now, there’s a depth to them that speaks to all the words left unsaid, to all the years spent in separation, to the weight of the grief he carried alone.

"I waited and waited, stalling some gods....." he continues, his voice just above a whisper now, the teasing facade stripped away, leaving only the rawness of his feelings. "I waited so long, and every day… I missed you."

There’s a moment of silence that stretches between you, heavy with the unspoken sorrow of time lost, of love interrupted by forces beyond your control. His hand, still cradling your face, trembles just slightly, as if even Satoru, with all his strength, couldn’t bear the thought of losing you again.

The weight of it all—of everything you endured, everything you lost—comes crashing down at once, and you let out a soft, broken sob. You feel his arms wrap around you, pulling you against him, holding you close like he’s afraid to ever let go. 

“I missed you too. So so much.” you whisper into his chest, your tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt. “I never stopped missing you, Satoru.”

You feel his chest rise and fall with a deep breath, his lips pressing softly against your forehead. And for the first time in what feels like forever, the sorrow that’s been living inside you begins to ease. It doesn’t disappear entirely—grief never really does—but here, in Satoru’s arms, it feels lighter. It feels like, maybe, you can finally rest.

And in that moment, you realize that the exhaustion, the waiting—it was all worth it. You're home.

epilogue

The afterlife wasn’t exactly what you expected. Instead of floating through clouds or endless fields of serenity, you found yourself at what looked like an airport terminal. Before you could process how bizarre this was, you spotted them—Kaiko and Namie, both waving like maniacs from the crowd.

“Finally!” Kaiko shouts, sprinting toward you with the grace of someone who has no concept of personal space. Namie follows, beaming brightly, and within seconds, they’re both squeezing the life out of you.

“Guys, air... I need air!” you gasp, but they only hug you tighter. Kaiko plants a kiss on your cheek, and Namie loops an arm around your waist like they’ve been waiting years for this reunion.

“We missed you so much, you know?” Kaiko pouts, ignoring your protests. “The afterlife just isn’t the same without you.”

“Excuse me.” You look over Kaiko’s shoulder to see Satoru, sunglasses slightly askew, his mouth pulled into a pout that could rival a spoiled child’s. “You’re hogging my wife.”

Kaiko smirks, not even turning to look at Satoru. “Your wife? Funny, because I’m pretty sure I was her first love.” She raises an eyebrow, tilting her head ever so slightly as if daring him to challenge the claim.

Satoru's eyes narrow behind his shades. “That was ages ago, you homewrecker! She married me—” he steps forward, pointing at the both of you— “not you.”

“Oh please,” Kaiko rolls her eyes. “I’ve known her longer. I laid the groundwork. I was and always will be the original concept!”

Satoru steps closer, his height towering over Kaiko but Kaiko isn’t fazed. “She chose me.”

“She settled for you, shitty eyes!” Kaiko quips, her grin widening. “There’s a difference.”

And that’s all it takes. Satoru’s eyebrow twitches, and suddenly they’re in each other’s faces like squabbling children. You can barely get a word in before they start throwing insults—Kaiko jabbing at Satoru’s height, Satoru boasting about his undeniable charm.

“Guys, seriously?” You rub your temples, trying to hold back laughter. “This is ridiculous.”

Geto Suguru, ever the voice of reason (or at least the one who knows when to pick his battles), sidles up beside you with a casual smile. “Looks like some things never change.”

You grin at him, feeling a sense of ease that only Suguru can bring. “Tell me about it. Can’t believe I’m back and they’re already fighting over me.”

“Typical Satoru!” Suguru laughs. “He never could handle competition.” He offers you a knowing look, then gestures to the absurd scene in front of you. “Should we break it up?”

“Nah, let them tire themselves out.” you reply, waving a hand dismissively. “They’ll realize how stupid they’re being soon enough.”

As if on cue, Kaiko flicks Satoru in the forehead. “She loved my kisses first!”

“Oh, for—" Satoru huffs, about to lunge at Kaiko when you step in between them. “She loved mine more!”

“Oh shut up,your kisses are slimy and disgusting!”

“HUH!? You take that back!”

“Ugly frog! Bwah!” 

“Alright, enough.” You shake your head, stifling a laugh. “Satoru, Kaiko, stop acting like children. I’m here for everyone, okay?”

“Everyone except Kaiko.” Satoru mutters under his breath.

Suguru chuckles beside you, giving you a side glance. “Welcome back.”

You smile, patting his shoulder. “Good to be back. I see things haven’t changed much.”

As Kaiko and Satoru continue bickering like they’re back in high school, Suguru leans over, smirking. “Should we take bets on who wins this round?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Nah, I’m putting my money on Namie. She’s going to step in and drag both of them away soon enough.”

And, just like clockwork, Namie swoops in, grabbing Kaiko by the arm and tugging her toward the exit, muttering about “taking this fight outside.”

Satoru watches them go, arms crossed, still pouting. He looks at you, expectant, as if waiting for reassurance.

You chuckle, stepping closer and placing a hand on his chest. “Relax, Satoru. You know you’re the one I chose.”

His pout softens into a grin, and he leans down to kiss your forehead. “Damn right.”

And with that, the chaos of the airport fades into the background, as you bask in the comfort of having your husband by your side—and of course, the endless entertainment of old rivals.

[dangermousie]

Book Rec

Not many dramas for me to watch (Phone is the sole airing drama I am following), so I've been making up for it by reading a lot.

And I have a book rec:

Long Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan - MY LOVE MY LOVE MY LOVE! If you ever want to have strangers stare at you as you cackle in crowded places, this book is for you. I was not particularly interested when I saw the description because I was thinking it was another "grimdark is cool/sociopaths rock" thing which is just not my thing and never was (nothing against it in fiction, just doesn't ping anything for me) but I was stuck at a long layover and the bookstore had it, I flipped and became a goner. I was refusing to put it down even close on no sleep, which shows how good it is.

Anyway, the set up: our FL Rae is a modern 20 year old dying of cancer. She gets offered a chance to live if, upon entering a fantasy series (one that is a favorite of her younger sister, but once she is familiar with through the sister and so has gaps), she obtains a plant that can make anyone healthy etc. She's got nothing to lose so...

The fantasy novel series in question is a dark, gothic gonzo extravaganza with characters who have monikers like The Last Hope, Golden Cobra, the Emperor, the Iron Maid and the blameless' heroine's stepsister, the villainess with the moniker Beauty Dipped in Blood. It is that latter that our heroine transmigrates into - a day before she's set to be executed!

Rae's goal is to survive long enough to be able get the plant - to do that she needs some fast talking and thinking as well a team of her fellow baddies. Will she get the attention of the Emperor, the series' dark, unhinged ML (who in the OG series went all Pedro the Cruel when his true love, the villainess' stepsister died - respect!)? How much will she drag the narrative off-key? (pun! ifkyk) Rae is not interested in romance, friendship, revenge or anything but survival. Yet, as she goes along, these desperate, larger than life, and irretrievably broken characters become more and more real to her.

The reason I love this novel is that it's both very very funny (I was literal when I said I was laughing in public) and very very dark (Rae is dying and has been dying for years - she has so much loss, rage and grief bottled in her and it keeps coming out and coloring everything and she fits very well into that Gothic world because she is just as damaged and desperate as the characters.) The prose is purple when it needs to be - and it fits the narrative perfectly and the characters are somehow complex despite their very larger than life/artificial personas. I am not very far in at all, but characters like the Emer, Rae's desperate, on edge of survival maid (who 100% has a lesbian love line with Lia, the pure heroine - I love ittttttt!), Key, Rae's unhinged, amoral, murder-talented and money-oriented guard (the one spoiler I have is his actual eventual identity and EEE YES PLS) who is drawn in by her feral self, Lia the pure (or not so pure) stepsister, and Marius the Last Hope - the seeming paragon who is so utterly damaged are all so very vivid and great to read about. (Side note - I live too much in danmei land, but Marius x Eric, anyone? Yes yes men are capable of platonic deep friendships blah blah blah.)

There is apparently book 2 coming in the fall this year and I CANNOT WAITTTT!

Sample quote:

Only minor villains had petty flaws like being greedy. Rae gave her minion an approving glance.

"I think we will be friends."

He tilted his head, with the air of a scientist beholding a specimen. "I've never had one of those before. Might be interesting."

"High five," proposed Rae,

Key's smirk tilted smile-ward. "No idea what you're saying."

Rae's hand was already lifted. "Hit my hand."

"How hard?" Key asked obligingly. "Should I break it?"

Rae stared back. "Do not! Tap my palm with your palm. Gently! Gently!"

Key frowned as though gentleness required ferocious concentration.

Next up in book posts: Washington's Lady by Nancy Moser, because the thought of the Father of the Country as a romance novel hero is giving me the best kind of fits and shortcircuits my brain tho not in the way the author intended.

[yamisnuffles]

DATV Spoiler Free Review

I beat Veilguard a couple days ago and have had some time to let it settle in my brain. So, without getting into the nitty gritty and more spoilery things, here are my overall feelings on the game.

The Great:

The world itself. The scenery. It was really gorgeous and felt fully alive in a way that none of the previous games have quite managed. Since it wasn't as open world as DAI nor as narrow in scope as DA2 (nor as old as DAO lol), it felt more vital. Definitely a place where the advances in graphics helped, I'm sure.

The Good:

The companions. I wouldn't say any of them blew me away but they all at least ranged from enjoyable to very good. I definitely had my quibbles here and there but I think they were all pretty solid. As such, though I've only done one romance, I'll suppose they're all good. A bit... sparse in my experience and from what I've been hearing, but nice enough.

Overall, I also think the story was pretty good. Like much in this game, nothing that blew me away, but solidly compelling.

Also, mechanically, the gameplay and the glamour system. It still doesn't feel like DA to me but it was enjoyable once I got used to it. It works well with how I play games. And it was nice to just set looks for myself and my companions and not worry about stats vs appearance.

Rook. I have some definite Complaints, and so this point is probably closer to the good to mid range, but they did a pretty good job with letting you pull in your faction stuff. I'm prevented from saying great because it feels like, even with what are supposed to be rougher dialogue choices, you're limited to being mildly pleasant.

The Mid:

The music. This is tragic to me because every previous game had some really standout songs and DAI especially was such a solid soundtrack. I love soundtrack music. Also because Hans Zimmer! I love Hans Zimmer. But the entire thing felt very generic epic fantasy to me. It wasn't bad but it didn't feel good. The only times I ended up moved by the music was when they lifted DAI songs.

The lack of imports. It wasn't the end of the world but did make some cameos feel really off. And for all the talk of making what few things were imported matter, that really didn't feel like the case at all (unless you were in a specific subset of players). I didn't care too much, but it was just enough to make things feel weird, especially with characters like Harding who are so attached to previous stuff.

The Bad:

The world felt so sanitized. I have no issue getting rid of real life bigotry that makes so sense in the context of the world. For example, the sexism in DAO especially made no sense. That said, there was a lot of in world nastiness that is just... gone. The game does a lot of telling us the elves have it bad but doesn't show it. No one bats an eye at a Tevinter mage running about outside of Tevinter. No one cares about a Qunari in occupied Treviso. I suppose it's not the worst thing in the world but it feels weird, especially when it's so central to Solas' motivations.

This sanitization carried on through pretty much everything. All of the factions are presented as good and heroic, even the ones that are historically pretty shady. Your companions are all pleasant and palatable. They have the occasional minor squabble but even when they almost have actual beef, it's solved super easily. You might get some disapproval for decisions but companions never seem to much care or hold it against you, even on really big things. I don't need DA2 levels of interparty drama but, boy did I want a bit more tooth sometimes.

The Awful:

I can't get into it without spoilers but it did a Thing that Bioware sometimes likes to do that I absolutely loathe. This is definitely personal but it ruined some of my desire to replay.

Overall:

I'd give the game a 7/10 or maybe 6/10, depending on how I'm feeling. It was enjoyable for the most part but it had so many things that felt like splinters. Lots of little things that stuck under my skin and bothered me. Would I recommend it? Genuinely depends on the person.

[gladii0lus]

I finished watching Jentry Chau VS The Underworld and here’s my thoughts on the show.

It’s a good show and as a Chinese American, that was born and raised in Texas, I was so excited to watch this when I found out about it! The cultural references made me so happy and the setting being in Texas was a bonus. It was a good show for cultural representation and some action but story wise, towards the last episodes it was not that great.

I get Netflix is probably the one to blame though but some parts of the story made me question some stuff.

[SPOILER REVIEW]

I wished they leaned away from the romance or maybe took out the fact that Stella was Michael’s girlfriend. Like make Stella just a regular bestfriend character instead of being one of the love interest’s girlfriend. Or maybe in the beginning make Jentry “assume” Michael and Stella are a couple (which can still tick her powers off) but later find out they’re just really good friends.

The romance part of the show felt so forced??? Especially towards the end?? And Stella just brushes off a “relationship since freshman year” just because she thinks Jentry and Michael look better together? It’s whatever to see the main character have two love interest but having one of the love interest already HAVE a partner is frustrating and weird. More drama sure but for what? Just to be brushed off? Like what’s up with that. In my opinion the show would have been fine WITHOUT the romance.

Jentry learning her powers too fast was also kinda annoying/no progression was disappointing. Not even small ones. Like we see her struggle and have outbursts but an episode later she suddenly knows how to do certain things with her powers. (This was probably a Netflix issue with timing.)

Towards the end of the show with Jentry defeating Mr. Cheng and went to look for her mom, it felt kinda rushed and the story felt like it wasn’t going anywhere besides the fact that the Mogui was the main villian again. I wished they gave some conflict with the mom’s memories instead of her accepting the memories so quick. (might be Netflix timing issue again.)

Kit’s death meant nothing since the Mogui ends up coming back either way and wreck havoc once again.

Michael??? His character was overall kind of a nuisance. I get they’re in highschool but come on man. AGAIN, the romance was POINTLESS. Where in the series did they imply that Michael and Jentry were “dating”?? I had to go back to see if I had missed a episode or two to figure out why Michael said they broke up? Was it after the homecoming game? Was it after Jentry said she didn’t want him to get hurt? WHERE?? Also Michael kissing Jentry when he “moved on” and was dating another girl? Once more, I get they’re in highschool and feelings can be complicated but really was there even a point to Michael getting with a new girl? It was hard to watch. I get this show isn’t about romance but let’s be real, what was the point of adding it if you weren’t gonna make it at least tolerable.

Michael’s powers?? What was the point of his powers if they weren’t going to talk about it?? And his powers were practically useless the entire series besides just “foreshadowing” whatever is going to happen and EVEN THEN they never take action to stop Michael’s visions from happening. I get he was trying to tell Jentry about his powers throughout the series but at the same time he never really did?? Or never really went in depth with it. Either way, they basically did nothing to explain it or have his parents explain it. Probably a timing issue AGAIN but it’s whatever.

They never bring back the dad again after using him as bait for Moonie to sign another deal with the Mogui.

Iris/Jentry’s Grandma. They basically used her to give Moonie her memories back and sure Gugu has some scenes with her/backstory but they give little to no info/answers about her afterwards. She was just there for the memories and the scarf and then she’s gone.

If the show was gonna try for a Season 2 then maybe it was best to hold off some information but honestly with the way it ended I don’t see a Season 2 coming at all. And I’m completely fine with that.

I liked this show and I loved how each episode had a kick to it, besides the romance part cause to me it was unnecessary. But after the episode “Good Intentions” it was hard to keep watching the rest of the show until I found out it had literally 2 more episode left.

Story wise the first few episodes was a best 8 (minus the romance drama) but after they defeat Mr. Cheng, it dropped to a 6.5 for me. This is just my opinion though so if you disagree that’s totally fine! Feel free to comment about your opinions as well!

[thecoffeelorian]

The Anomaly Series, Chapter 3: The Quest (Jod Na Nawood x Reader)

A/N: ...Yes, this story is now, OFFICIALLY, canon divergent. Ya know, because I don't condone/endorse violence against children, and any other disclaimers I need to put here.

Also, there are three literal episodes left, so pardon me if I'm still holding out for Jod and Neel eventually twinning in their clothing choices in canon. 'Nuff said.

Chapter Title: The Quest

Genre: Drama/Romance; Slow Burn; Obvious Canon Divergence.

Word Count: 1,698 words

AO3: Click Here!

Special Notes: As I'm not yet sure how I even begin to breach the topic of child abuse here...let's just do the safe thing and label this as 'Spoilers up to Episode 4'. Thank you.

No Pressure Tags:

@chenoa-devyn-blog @not-approvedtrash @lulalovez @deepestballoonllama-fandoms @papa-poutine

@xbeyondthegatex @bridge-always @loverdjudeforever @kucharka23 @khaleesihavilliard

@xitlalli2001 @braveincafleet @amawu23 @gun-roswell @bruceewayne

@shirley-girly @cloudofpinkicecream @lokigirlszendaya @valdasha @aemondvelaryon

@carry-on-wayward-daughter @pantasticalcat @robin-hyperfixates @down-down-by-the-river @sydneyann623

@brookeandherfandoms @kazunish @redermraven @ladyofthelakee @nightlordsvengence

@tarboo13 and anybody else who wonders what romance would look like for this hot mess of a man. :D

I’m a person who needs your help…

As of ten seconds ago, every other thought that had once been safe inside your mind feels as though they’ve all flown away, and so not left much else behind them save for one of the few thoughts that remains.

You’re officially involved.

There’s no other way around it now, because you’re feeling it too deep in your consciousness to turn back. You’re involved in this stranger’s case, and it’s going to take nothing less than a little Reclamation of your own to knock you off this path, and—despite all of your previous attempts to calm down, there’s some of the old adrenaline starting to course back into your body.

My help…? What kind of help do you need?

This rush makes you just a tiny bit lightheaded as you wait for Jack’s response, not knowing if he’s about to try and sweet-talk you into arranging a jailbreak or not. That was THE one thing that the Reclamation Committee had been worried about, and so, even if he let loose with a mountain of ‘Sweethearts’, odds already were that you would have to turn him down due to your ingrained obedience to the Law.

The same Law that, unfortunately, has spirited him out of your reach and out of your sight.

Something that I doubt my jailers want anything to do with.

And why is that?

They’re the ones who just robbed me.

Not that you’ll necessarily have to, maybe, because he hasn’t brought it up yet…but then again, he could always try to trick you up by slipping some kind of missing key or lockpick into the mix. Judging by how the security droids were more than happy to keep their weapons trained upon him, anything is possible here.

I’m sorry.

No need to apologize to me, sweetheart. You’re not the one who did this.

But I am the one you want to help fix it...right?

That depends. How good are you at finding lost things?

That’s one thought you have to keep fresh and safe inside your mind no matter what, along with eventually refusing him in that sense if it should happen.

In the meantime, though, you’re adding a second page to this new file of yours, as you have a slight feeling that you might certainly need it later.

Well…I once found my best friend’s missing keychain back in school.

That must have been a while ago, though. What about recently?

That depends on where you’re going with this. What’s so important that you need my assistance?

Fine. They took all my belongings away before they locked me up. Happy now?

Another thought that you’re unfortunately blessed with, though, is the image of Crimson Jack being attacked by two prison droids. The first never thinks twice about administering a few short electric shocks; the second strips him clean of any and all weapons or tools; and then finally, both of them turn and tilt their heads to each other in a gesture of smug triumph.

More like slightly flustered, but thank you—

—‘Flustered’?

It’s what happens when a person’s annoyed, confused, or both. Continue.

All right…

This is one thought you don’t want to fixate on too strongly, because you already have a feeling that you might end up worrying yourself sick if you don’t pull yourself together first. No, it’ll be better for the both of you if you have work like this to focus on instead, and for this reason, you add a third page.

…First item, a blaster pistol of my own making, about twenty-five years old with a slim wooden handle. Second item—

—Wait, what’s a blaster?

You’ve never seen a blaster before?

I’ve never seen a war before. Care to describe it?

There’s a small pause between writing, almost as though he’s stopping to think or else let out a sigh of frustration—then your next set of directions comes.

All right, look. I don’t want to take all day, and I’m guessing you have plans, so let’s keep it simple. Put your hand flat out in front of you.

As for you, you’re left raising both eyebrows before doing as you’re asked, though not without feeling just a little bit silly.

Now, take the last two fingers on whatever hand you’ve picked, and curl them in towards you.

Another curious direction, to be sure…yet you obey that one as well.

And finally, once you’re ready, raise your remaining three fingers up and act like you’re shooting the wall.

Once you’ve fully caught on to this particular mental image, however, that’s when you almost drop your writing equipment out of shock.

…Heck.

Nasty thing, isn’t it?

Wow, you think?!

Try spending twenty years with one of those aimed at you, and you’ll get what war is.

Whatever you say, CJ…

You let out an annoyed huff of your own before adding a fourth page to your document, somewhat feeling as though you might cut this conversation off if it gets too—well, wild. As someone who still knows precious little about the one you’re writing to, you certainly count this idea as a possibility.

…Any other weapons I need to know about?

‘CJ’?

Those are your initials, silly. Think of it like a nickname if that’s easier.

Hm…

Another small pause. He seems to be taking his time figuring out what to make of you as well, or so the slow pacing of this ‘meeting’ suggests to you.

…Anyways. As I was saying, second item, fairly unused Lightsaber as I prefer the blaster.

I suppose that's like a knife?

If you want to make comparisons, yes. It's got a thin, metallic hilt and so far, it's powered by a green colored stone somewhere in there.

Right...thin hilt, green stone. What else?

Brown jacket with gray stripes on the sleeves and collar. That’s the third item I’m missing.

And the fourth?

It’s sewn inside the third. In fact, if you have a chance, I’d prefer to recover both of them before we find the others.

So it’s all a big mystery for you to solve, then. Some off-the-wall version of the Great Party Icebreaker to endear you to The New Guy In The Office, provided as always that you don’t end up contracting Foot-In-Your-Mouth Disease.

Ah, well...your nights at home, totally alone, were getting a little boring anyway.

Very good...so you’re in a holding cell right now, I assume?

Obviously.

What are you being charged with?

A fifth page. Gods, this file’s getting a little big, or so you’re all too happy to tell yourself as nobody else can see the awkward look on your face right now.

Nobody’s bothered to tell me.

Have you been provided any legal counsel?

What’s that?

And yet, as awkward as all of this feels, you’ve definitely got your work cut out for you. Work that involves making sure that any possible trial moves forward without a hitch, because with a suspect as high-profile as this one, there’s no way anybody will want to risk the case being thrown out.

A pity they don’t make Lawyer Droids for this exact purpose.

Nevertheless, with the three words ‘MUST. FIND. LEGAL COUNSEL.’ written on the imaginary wall in your mind, you’re still pushing yourself onward just a bit further, as you’re more or less feeling that you’re too far in to turn back now.

Okay...just a few more things before we wrap things up here.

Go on.

Firstly...why me? And—and what was it that happened out there on the landing pad?

A third pause. He’s either taking his time finding the right words to answer you with, or else to cook up a pretty plausible lie with which to keep you occupied. Strange how the one seems so much like the other, at least at this moment in time.

I...don’t really know for sure.

‘Don’t know’? You don’t know if you have some special talent, or you don’t know why your special talent reacted the way it did?

Both. Neither. It’s as crazy to me as it is to you.

Fine…

You’ll be sure to find out what’s really taking place here, though, if there’s any way to get in touch with the people—or droids—who took him into custody. You might also try poking around the local library later this week, if there’s any chance at all that there might be some hint of your new life situation to read up on.

As for how the little crew he traveled with might figure into this, a fact that you’re far too keen to forget about even as you add a sixth page to this file—

And the last thing you wanted to ask me?

Simple…do your traveling companions know where you are?

—You’re working on it. Maybe you’ll have to get parental consent before questioning them. Maybe they’ll instead show up on your doorstep one day, hands full of dataries and voices full of pleading, totally ready to cooperate and compensate you for your time in one go. Either way, they’re witnesses.

When it comes to whether or not Crimson Jack himself will help his case or harm it, well...that concept just isn’t as clear. In fact, he very nearly confuses you with no pauses, awkward silences, or hesitations of any kind.

Just a slowly written No, almost as though just thinking about this part is too painful.

As for you, you can still remember how scared those kids were at the mere thought of him being harmed by the security droids...so it’s more than just a little bit understandable. Whatever else happened up there, whatever blaster fights, lightsaber duels, or anything else that this group saw...they must have had some time to bond.

But you’d like to see them, right?

YES.

Good. I won’t waste any time if I can help it, but I will need you to give me something in return first.

And that is…?

Your true name.

And if you have any grasp upon this stranger’s character, which you hope very much that you do—that bond just might be the key to saving old Crimson Jack’s life.

TO BE CONTINUED

[wonderingpanda]

Hello!! Could you please either write a scenario or Headcanon for either rottmnt or bayverse x reader for pining turtles (turtles with a crush on reader) and how they try to “romance” them? Who’s more upfront who isn’t it? What kind of gestures they do? Please and thank you

Love Me Please

Rise!Turtles x Reader

Originally I was going to do both Bayverse and Rottmnt but I wrote this pretty late and couldn’t come up with many ideas for Bayverse. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Raphael

I feel like Raph is the kind of person to act casual around his crush and then freak out later

He’ll get excited around you and try to show you extra care

He’s also going to be very worried for your safety

If you had plans to go over to the lair and end up being 10 minutes late he’s already picturing the worst

Raph does try show off his muscle and strength sometimes

Particularly if you watch him train, it’s a huge confidence boost

But his favourite moments are when you get to watch him win against one of his brothers while sparring

Oh come on you totally cheated. Sorry Leo rules are rules. That was awesome Raph! O-oh Y/N! Thanks.

He is a gentle giant so you can expect him to be extra attentive to your every need

And of course he’s giving out the best hugs of all time

While he may be pretty chill about his feelings, if you flirt with him it will leave him a flustered mess

I’m talking, he may be unable to form coherent sentences for several hours

At the end of the day, he just really wants you to like him and will always be there for you no matter what

Leonardo

Oh boy, here we go

The second Leo realised he liked you there was no more peace

You won’t get a single moment alone because this boy will just be everywhere

He’ll try every pick-up line he can think of and will find any excuse to flirt with you

The guy has no shame because he makes it look like a joke

Spoiler alert, it’s not

Have I ever told you I think you’re beautiful No, why? Cause you’re beautiful. Aww thanks Leo. *kisses on the cheek* *Dies inside*

While Leo might act confident on the outside if you try to flirt back with him his heart will instantly melt

But he’d never show it of course, he’s too cool for that

He is also a complete drama queen so he may occasionally dramatise things when talking about you with his brothers

And yes, he will talk about you frequently because how else is he meant to go over your every interaction from that day

He’s also an easily jealous person so if he sees any of your human friends as competition, hide them

Hide them fast

Another important thing to note is that he loves to show off

He’s got fighting moves, skateboard tricks, video game scores, comic collections and more

He loves you, wants you and will let you know loud and clear

But he’s only “kidding”

Donatello

Donnie is far more reserved in comparison to Leo

He also has a very complicated idea of what he wants

He wants you to know he likes you without you knowing he wants you to know he likes you

That being said, there are a lot of different ways to tell if Donnie is pining for you

He’ll feel more comfortable with you in his lab vs others

Lots of gifts and is always free for whatever favour you need

You can expect to be given more privileges around his tech

But that’s also because he wants to impress you with it

He might also make small comments to hint he likes you

What were you thinking!? Ah but you see my sweet beautiful Y/N, he wasn’t thinking. Don, quit flirting with your girlfriend and come save me! Not my girlfriend!…*whispers* yet.

He’s the kind of person who will admire from afar and won’t try to get super close physically

Although if he’s really excited then he may give you a hug or two

He will also pretend to hate any romantic aspects of holidays to hide how much he’d love to experience them with you

Valentines, mistletoe, New Years kiss, he acts like he can’t stand them

And you can bet that after every moment you two have he’ll be in his lab celebrating like there’s no tomorrow

Because a dancing Donnie is a happy Donnie

Michelangelo

Mikey just goes with the flow

Wait he likes you! Oh well, time to show tons of love and affection

It’s hard to tell if he likes you or not because he acts the same way around everyone else

Lots of physical affection, big hugs, warm smiles, hand holding

One unique thing you might be able to nitpick at though is his kisses

That’s right, Mikey will constantly be kissing your forehead or cheek if he gets the chance

You’re also one of his biggest inspirations

The amount of times this turtle will tell you to hold your pose so he can sketch it

He wants you to understand that to him you’re beautiful and inspiring

Compliments are another big thing for Mikey

He won’t stop telling you how pretty, smart and cute he thinks you are

Hey Y/N do you mind standing right there for a second? Uh sure, another drawing? Yup! Sorry you’re just so pretty I can’t stop drawing you. Awwww Mikey! That’s really sweet.

He is definitely more upfront about his feelings and is just waiting for the day he can open up and say he loves you

I hope this was similar to what you wanted. Have an amazing day/night wherever it is you are!✨

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

This was the hardest monthly wrap up I ever had to do because I forgot about it until like two days ago and my brain is not at its best and I'm tired so I can't really write a lot. So anyway as usual, spoilers and opinions below, read at your own risk.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇼 Blue Canvas of Youthful Days [2/12] - I really like the look of this show and all the art. I'm not yet sold on the main couple as a possible item but I really like the characters individually. I adore the second couple. The scene with the hearing aid was beautiful and I like the fact that it's not about the couple. Perhaps in a bl from a different country this would be about them finally being able to communicate, but because Liu knows sign language, it's simply about helping Tan Yin. Don't know why but I really liked this.

🇰🇷🇹🇭 Eccentric Romance [8/12] - It's not the worst thing ever but at several points during the episodes I find myself asking, what am I watching?

🇹🇭 Every You, Every Me [4/8] - This show constantly surprises me. The different stories every week and the aspec rep was how they got me at first but now I'm invested in the meta and the absolutely adorable mains. And this show is just so gorgeous to watch.

🇹🇭 Fourever You [5/16] - Beautiful Pond. Cute Earth. I'm annoyed. Hopefully the next couple is better in terms of storyline.

🇹🇭 Jack & Joker [8/12] - Can they just get together first and then give me all the drama? I'm okay with that. I actually liked Love Mechanics, so give it to me. But Jack is all over the place with his behaviour, he says Joke is family and they seem to have a shared view of the future, and they sure behave as if they're a couple, but then he hides things from Joke, supposedly 'for his own good'. I feel for Joke, because he's being jerked around by Jack.

🇹🇭 Kidnap [8/12] - I love Ohm. And that is the one and only reason I'm still here.

🇰🇷 Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo [6/8] - I'm obsessed. I think about this show way too much. It's painful and beautiful, brilliant writing and visuals and I need it to be over but I don't want it to end. I think we're gonna have a second time skip since they are not in our present yet and I just want to see them happy.

🇰🇷 Love in the Big City [4/8] - Obsessed in a total different way. This story is like an open tab in my brain at all times. I'm dreaming of edits and gifsets. I think of Young and my chest tightens. I'm having a hard time writing about the second part of the show because it's just so much, although it feels lighter than the novel. I'm dreading the next part.

🇯🇵 Love is a Poison [7/10] - I love it here. Everything about it. This being Shiba's first love sure explains a lot, and the onsen date was amazing. I think the actors are nailing this.

🇹🇭 Peaceful Property [10/12] - I've said enough about it. I'm here for TayNew and trying to just ignore everything else.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners [1/24] - And so it begins. Every gmmtv boy is here and they are all playing engineers. They got two Flukes and everything. I wish Force wasn't once again an asshole jock and Book the clueless fool but I guess that's too much to ask. This is the couple I'm least interested here so I want to see the rest.

🇹🇼 See Your Love [3/13] - Taiwan just doing giving all the rep with disabled characters and as usual a parade of bl actors. It's fine for now.

🇯🇵 Smells like Green Spirit [6/9] - I love Mishima. I think the scenes with him and Kirino are always great. I'm still not totally on board with the romance but I'm somewhat fascinated with Yumeno.

QL - Finished

🇹🇼 First Note of Love - I feel like I need to rewatch this as a binge because I think this format didn't help this particular show. Although I like the mains and I really liked the actors, their romance never truly clicked for me. I need more of the sides. The language banter was my favourite thing about this.

🇹🇭 I Saw You In My Dream - This is super cute. They are all adorable and they actually communicate. Ultimately I was a little underwhelmed about the concept.

🇹🇭 Monster Next Door - It's fine. I like Big and he was great here. But I've already forgotten everything about this.

🇭🇰 Our Golden Times - I watched it. It was okay.

🇹🇭 Reverse 4 You - Pretty show. Good concept. Not great execution all the way through.

Dropped / On Hold

Waiting to binge - 🇹🇭 The Loyal Pin | 🇹🇭 Apple | 🇻🇳 Teenager Judge

Rose Watches OJBL

Same Difference aka Docchi mo Docchi (2014) - I don't even know what to say. It's not good. That's it.

Others - Watched

🇯🇵Densetsu no Head Sho| 🇰🇷Black Out | 🇯🇵Double

Upcoming Shows - November

As usual my ask box is open. Have a wonderful weekend💜

[wings-of-ink]

Ask with chapter 5 spoilers below.

From @ariquess-arts

speaking of spoilers and Oswin ((and simping for that man))!! maybe it was answered before but I can't find it. will there be consequences of having romantic points with more than one RO?

Hello dear! You won't have to worry about consequences per se, though depending on certain actions (such as an attempted confession) it may warrant some additional discussion. Oswin is the main one this can happen with, and depending on choices, there may be an instance of him having doubts or asking if MC is sure that they want him - something of that nature. The ROs are all basically interested in MC - all single and ready-to-mingle sort of thing - but they are all fairly realistic in their expectations even when flirted with and such. Duri expects nothing, and neither does ??? at the start, Zahn and Rune are both in the realm of just hoping something could possibly happen.

I mean, my MC is shy and gentle (with a little lot of playfulness in them) and very into Oswin, they nearly said the L word to him. (we all know why they didn't). and I wasn't very interested in other ROs with this specific MC. (they want them very much in a *platonic physical touch full of cuddles and non-romantic hand-holding and feeding them all honey cakes* kind of way) but then the end of chapter 5 happened, and my MC is blushing and stuttering and 'WHAT. WHY.' for ??? if only because I thought it would be funny. like, I see them not even realising it. like, 'yeah, ??? is hot, so what??' maybe the first time in a while they found someone hot besides Oswin and they're not fully aware themselves? that they might-or might not- get a crush on that asshole, lmao. Oswin is still an end-game for them but I just can't stop myself while thinking about any and all Oswin/??? interactions and parallels. (wait is parallel wven a correct word between those two?? probably not, haha) like, imagine your childhood friend has a crush on you and nearly tells you how they feel after days of going red-faced mess just from you looking and them... and you stop them from saying L-word bc you're insecure and 'not-deserving' (can't wait till my MC can shower him in love and show him how wrong he is) and blah blah (/j, his feelings are very important here). only to see them all a mess again a few days later, but for some tall(er? if I remember right) asshole who very nearly killed them, lmao. yeah, I find this specific pair cery interesting and funny. I'm actually judging my MC soooo hard for their taste, lmao.

I totally feel this, lol. No matter if Oswin is romanced or not, an inclination toward this handsome asshole will make him question everything. It won't be a deal-breaker for him if MC flirts with him and also has feelings for Oswin, but there will be some reactions coded for Oswin based on MC's feelings. So if they are romantic with Oswin but have some sort of moment with another person, it may hurt him a bit or shock him. But Oswin knows that MC isn't beholden to wait for him too. He still respects MC's choices because they don't belong to him. Until they are officially "together" he may feel a bit jealous or a bit hurt by this and you may get some unique dialogue and such. So in that sense, there is a bit of a consequence but it won't be like a huge upset or drama. It will be part of a tough conversation about MC's true feelings.

also, I very much like to see my MC suffer,

We are of the same mind, my friend, lol.

so ofc I choose some (all) very bad choices for them and by the end of ch5 I had some sort of epiphany bc hear me out.

LOL, so you were beat the hell up. I like it.

each time MC goes through someting bad (tm), Oswin is hit with it twice as hard.

Yup! You nailed it! :D And you're gonna see some of the effects on him in chapter 6.

you know, the something something, input his ch5 talk in here but make it worse bc now, he's actually responsible (in a way) for MC and their well being. so I replayed the game again with the same MC and exact same choices bc I this time, Iwas fully aware both of them will suffer, lmao. (it made ch4 choice of calling out for dads to hold MC extra angsty for me like the first time wasn't enough, haha, bc can you imagine what Oswin celt then? not only unable to protect MC but also give them the comfort they needed? ouch).

YES, that is super impactful. And that negative perception he has of himself tingles and starts to eat at him again. Not MC's fault of course and he knows this, but he knows that he's at a stage of life where he must conquer these things that plague him.

also, also, there's two parts of the story extrememly hard for me. 1) what do you mean I have to choose whom to give the cake to? my MC wants to feed them all! let my MC feed everyone honey cakes pls!!! even the assh--???. (I'm unable to give the cake to anyone but Z. they deserve it so much).

Teehee! Sorry! (kinda) I knew when I did that it would make it conflicting, lol.

2) I HAVE TO CHOOSE WHO TO GIVE A PRESENT TOO? Lunan, I'm sorry you're so wvil for that. how can I choose between my beloved dads and my best friend? ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ (it's Lakota, I can't stop myself from choosing Lakota, I'm so sorry, dads).

Teehee again! I debated about being nice and letting MC get a few things but changed my mind. If it is any consolation, they will all be happy to have MC home and that is gift enough. <3

I'm sorry it turned out so long. I spent like, qhat? 2 hours writing (and re-writing) this ask to make it shorter, but oh well. and sorry for all the mistakes, as I got out-drunk by seventy-something years old neighbours of mine (where do these ppl get stamina for taht what). not to mention English not being my fisrt language, I had to take it off my chest. ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ

Not to worry, my friend! This was an enjoyable read and made me smile. Don't feel bad about being out-drunk - I promise - they felt it worse the next day even if they pretended not to, lol.

(I may or may not have a rather long ask in my phone notes about how I feel about your IF ((positive, really)) that sits there for 2 weeks already, but I don't really want to spam your ask box, so instead let me just...)

I love this story so much and I'm so so thankful you chose to write it and share with us, thank you sooo much!!

I am so glad you love it and that you shared these things with me. I'm so glad I can bring you something that lives in your heart like this and that brings you enjoyment. I can't wait to bring you more. ^_^

[ajramseyart]

I played Dragon Age Veilguard...twice

First! Fuck Solas!! For real though, great character.

Second Davrin and Emmrich won my heart this round.

I'm going to ramble about this game for a min. I have played all the games since the very beginning way back 15 years ago. Was part of the fandom and made sooooo much fanart. So much. So deal with it for a min.

Spoilers below

I wish I romanced Emmrich second though because the whole lich thing was something I didnt want. I went through the whole rest of his quest thinking bioware was going to make me romance a skeleton and I didnt want that...also the age gap thing took me out as well after making an older Rook. It made me feel like my character was 20 years old, especially with the option to tell this 50+ year old man that my Rook is a virgin.............Anyway I really loved his character and story, he is my very close second fav to Davrin.

Davrin was sweet and really loved his quest. It really fit in well with the grey warden story and overall story. He ended up being my fav companion this time around.

Grey Wardens impressed me. I went into this game wanting nothing to do with the Wardens. Been there, done that. Probably boring like they were in inquisition and DA2. Boy was I wrong. I really enjoyed the Wardens. I played a warden my second play through and having characters say its nice to have a warden around much better with two wardens...and it just hit me in the feels. It made me yearn for origins again. Loved the whole dark age Romanesque-ish aesthetic. It just felt really really good. It felt like home.

Main quest was really good this time around. Gameplay was good. Loved playing reaper. That third act was something I have been waiting for in an rpg.

I wish Rook wasn't so agreeable and nice. Its okay for "friends" and "found family" to have to conflict and drama and not also agree on everything. It really made me miss Vivienne and Wynne.

In my second play through I picked all the stern and aggressive options just to add some grit to Rooks personality.

I felt like the only Inquisitor that mattered was an inquisitor that romanced Solas. The only question that mattered was if you romanced Solas...which really sucked. I purposely did default inquisitor on my second play through just so I could trick solas into the fade without her in front of her.

I was really hoping that my inquisitor would show up at the end and kill him. It was on my bingo card but no...

I really wish they didnt add the inquisitor. But thats just one girls opinion. Key word here, opinion.

I called the Varric thing early on after getting Lucanis. So happy I didnt romance that guy. Once I saw he was possessed, I said no. Fool me once bioware.

Any way the Varric thing was really sad, I cried. It hit hard even though I knew the entire game he was dead..its a common trope.

It was a fun game, pretty game. Not the best dragon age game. The most memorable thing about this game for me will be the main quest and normally its the characters and I just feel like the characters got the shaft. I really wish I could have interacted with them more. They had a lot of quests which is great but having the option to click on them just to say hi would have done wonders.

I will not be making fan art this time around. I just have no urge or inspiration to make any.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - December

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 29.12.2024

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

gif-requests are open, but you'll need to have some patience🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in December with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu 🇯🇵 (8/11)

There are worlds between them. And I hate that they went for the separation and the time skip, but only because it hurts. I think it is a good use of this trope. But those two made each other happy and now they are hurting and that is hurting me. And next week looks hurtful too. Damn.

2. ThamePo Heart That Skips A Beat 🇹🇭 (3/13)

I love it here so much! They like each other already! They care about each other! And how could memorising a phone number be the most romantic shit ever?! They are the softest, most quiet people and I love them! They are already so special to me! I know my expectations are way too high... but I can't stop myself!

3. The Heart Killers 🇹🇭 (6/12)

Uhhhh... Shit is going to hit the fan really soon! I am here for it. What I am not here for is Fadel crying! My poor boy! Don't hurt him! So Bison and Fadel now know Kant and Style are fake, but boys, their feelings aren't fake! But the story needs some plot to work with, because right now, it is boring. Only Style & Fadel are keeping my interest up.

4. Word of Honor 🇨🇳 (25/36)

Yes, I kept watching. Well, this will take me a while to finish, I fear.

5. Your Sky 🇹🇭 (7/12)

I looooved the talk between Fah and his parents. They support him so much and they love him so much and they will love Rak with everything they have! I just hope we can get Fah and Rak becoming the best versions of themselves during the next episodes without drama and wit a lot of fluff and love. We still have five episodes to go. But for now I live in this version of the kiss and the fact that both boys are so damn much in love with the other one! They give me life!

Finished in December

Series

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days 🇨🇳

They can be glad to end this one with a happy ending! I would have thrown hands if they end it with them to never see each other again. I liked the series. It has such a wonderful melancholic feeling. It is calm and has topics that go very deep. But. The rending was very rushed. I guess we could have shorten some parts of the second couple (I really don't like them that much) and give some more time for the main couple. That is just my feeling. There were just too many questions open in the end for me. And as said, the ending was too rushed. I give this a good 8 out of 10.

Sweet Home Season 1 🇰🇷

I started this series because of him. I love him in everything he touched so far. And after a rough start this series captured my attention and I couldn't stop watching. After a while my best friend joined me and now we watch the rest of the series together. I usually don't watch horror stuff, but this one is really good. It is not too gory or to spooky and there are no real jump scares. I really enjoyed this first season. Overall a 9,5 out of 10.

Sweet Home Season 2 🇰🇷

The reason I kept watching were those two! Yes, I can see everywhere at least one bromance that should be a romance. Come on! Who looks at the lips of someone else like this if they don't want to suck on them too?! He wants to kiss those lips and this kiss would be reciprocated. Because they are in love with each other! Besides that this season was a mess. The storytelling was boring, there was no tension, too many new characters and no real connection with those characters like in the first season. I give it 6,5 out 10 just because love those two and I read some nice fanfics about them!

Sweet Home Season 3 🇰🇷

At least they could hold hands for a short period of time. I am happy Sergeant Kim survived. I am happy most of the characters I liked survived. The ending was... not what I expected. It was not bad, but the tone was a tiny bit off. The rest of the season I really liked. It was tense and the action was good. I had a blast with my best friend and finally I liked some of the characters again. But where did all the monsters gone. Not all transform into neo-humans. And what is the conclusion? Emotions and needs are bad? I don't know. A bit more explanation would have been nice. Over all a good 8 out of 10.

Movies

Short Films

Dropped in December

Love In The Air: Koi no Yokan 🇯🇵 (4/10)

Who am I kidding. I dropped this a while ago. I really couldn't care less about this series. I didn't like the original and don't really like this adaptation. It is the story I can't stand. So it is a drop for me.

Looking forward to in December

0.5D (Dec 4th)

Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! - Trailer (Dec 4th)

ThamePo - Heart that skips a beat - Trailer (Dec 13th)

Eternal Butler - Trailer (Dec 20th)

Sangmin Dinneaw

Eyes On You - Trailer (Dec 11th Pilot)

[dramashutup]

My 2024 dramas rating

I wanted to do 10 of these but it turns out that I've only watched 8 of 2024 dramas lol

Rewatched a few of my faves but I'm not rating those.

These will have spoilers. So here goes

1. Flex x Cop 10/10 !!

✅ This drama has a special place in my heart. It's crime, action-hero and it made me fall in love all over again with non-romance drama

✅ Park Ji Hyun as Lee Gang Hyun 🫡. (in another news I'm gonna go look up her latest work) I've only seen her as the annoying 2nd fl before this and she was great in this one. She broke the mold of annoying 2nd fl and is an independent, capable and cool-headed detective

✅ There's no dark past whatsoever. She just loves her job. And she may seem judgemental and prejudiced towards I Soo at first but she learned that I Soo is not just another arrogant chaebol as they work together; it's that he's actually an arrogant, smart, caring and resourceful chaebol lol

✅ Jin I Soo? I love him. Arrogant chaebol with a golden heart who has a clumsy way of showing he's not heartless definitely will have my heart. He's smart, he's funny and he's shameless 100/100 😂

✅ What makes a story much more interesting for me is banters. Yessss banters. Their relationship is fun even w/o romance. They trusted each other, even tho it all started on the wrong feet

✅ Gang Hyun's parents is also a highlight for this drama :))

Second season is coming !!! 🫡🙂‍↕️📢💕💕💕

Excited!!!

2. Eye Love You 3/10 (dropped)

I'm sorry. I tried to love this.

❌ I do watch jdramas and jmovies but this was just simply wasn't it for me.

❌ I wanted to love it because of Chae Jeong Hyeop, but bulldozer sunshine is not my vibe. I dropped it like halfway thru?

✅ The fl's office is really nice tho. And the fl is really funny, that, I remember well.

The suspension of disbelief simply wouldn't suspend the disbelief for me for this one :||

3. Serendipity's Embrace 6/10

❌ This could've been shorter. There I said it. XD. Yes shorter than 8

✅ I love love Hye Ji, Hong Joo's best friend.

✅Hoo Yeong's uncle was relatable, sad and single,

❌ tho I wish he didn't have that weird first love line thing with Hong Joo's boss too. That was just uncomfortable

❌ And what about Hoo Yeong, you ask? Well..... tbh..... I don't really like broody mls. I'm not a fan of those 'he treats her specially nice because he loves her but to everyone else he's just cold'. I'm not a fan of that because I am an anxiety-driven gal and this trait simply doesn't vibe with me

✅ It's funny that Hong Joo's ex was Kim So Hyun's rival in her previous drama tho (My Lovely Liar) Mr. Yoon Ji On 👀

Which leads me to....

4. Love Next Door 4/10

Ha ha ha hahaha

❌ As you can probably guess from the poster of this drama I used which is of the side character Jeong Mo Eum, I simply couldn't stand the main couple

❌ Actually I did loved the main couple initially. I even defended the ml after the first 4 episodes, but then... I took a step back metaphorically and realized that his behavior and the fl's family behavior grated my teeth so much

❌ They kept nagging at the fl. Everything the fl did was wrong to them. She was not allowed to have her own views or that they didn't want to see things from her perspective

❌ Personally, I've met these kind of people irl and the suspension of disbelief and rose colored glasses couldn't do their jobs for this drama for me

❌ I dislike both the family and the ml until the end. The ml is whiny and entitled. That's it.

I hope she divorces him and run away from the neighborhood in the future lol

✅ Kang Dan Ho and Jung Mo Eum were so cute tho. And as all the other side couples ever, they deserved more screen time and development.

I'm looking forward to future works of Yoon Ji On. He's the reason I started this drama initially lol

5. What Comes After Love 7/10

After the disappointment that was the previous drama, I watched this.

Ok, here's what I learned. I can read melodrama (?) novels, but I need to use 1.25/1.5x speed when I'm watching slow dramas. Is it the adhd? Probably

Anyway

✅ This drama is so pretty. The contrast between the flashbacks when the couple was younger in Japan and the grayer aesthetic in Korea after their breakup is ✨✨✨

✅ I envy Lee Se Young for being able to speak Japanese so well for the drama lol. She really made me believe she spent her younger days in Japan.

✅ i love the side characters at the shop she worked at. The boss? So tall 👀

👀 I'm just surprised the ending implies that they're back together. After all that pain and those sad lingering looks

6. Fangs of Fortune 8/10

I know I was basically rambling about this drama for weeks and therefore you'd think it'd get full marks

Okay

✅ It's a fantastic story.

✅ Costume? 💯 So effin beautiful. So beautiful.

✅ Humor? 💯

✅ Characters? 💯 I love the characters to pieces, you don't even know. This is my Six of Crows cdrama version

✅ OST? 💯

❌ But then it relies sm on dramatics. And tears. Oh so much tears.

❌ And I may also be side eyeing the ending. Some people say it's a good ending, but I will agree to disagree. 🙂‍↕️

Edit : yes I've watched the extra episode and I don't like it still. Death is a very permanent thing imo lol and while his soul does come back, it's no replacement for the real person to me. I've never liked the death trope.

It's a bit traumatizing tbh lol 😂

7. Family By Choice 9.5/10

Edit :

❌ I'm also dissatisfied with the development of the m/f main ship. I love them, they had the potential to be The OTP for me but then the didn't really get developed, possibly because they were kinda already established before the event of the story, in a way, and so the storyline focused more on ZYC and ZYZ flip flopping relationship....so yh. It's fantasy with a dash of romance

And I went into the drama after seeing cute spoiler scenes of Wen Xiao and ZYZ so yeah... I was on the Train bound for Disappointment Terminal

✅ This drama welcomed me like a loaf of warm bread, blanket and warm chocoa after the pain of FoF

✅ Yoon-sajang is the best dad in kdrama land. He's the president of Good Dads of Kdrama. 💐 💐 🫡

✅ Glad that Kim Sanha's mum was not redeemed at the end. She just backed away after being a complete and utter bitch with no self-awareness. Thank you for not redeeming her.

✅ plsssss I love Hwang in Yeop as this gentle boyfriend 👀🤗

✅ This is such a warm drama, a family drama of the year for me. I know I'll rewatch this a lot

My issues are only that

❌ I need more episodes 😔😔 xD

❌ Kim Sanha's issues didn't really have their own proper build up closure. The focus was too much on Hae Jun's 😔 when Sanha is also one of the main characters. Not to mention Juwon as one of the trio? ://

8. The Story of Pearl Girl 9/10

(my sister is obsessed with both Liu Yuning and Zhang Linghe and tried to get me to watch their dramas; Princess Royal, and My Journey to You and Story of Pearl Girl,

I can't watch another Edward Guo's drama for the time being so I chose Princess Royal which I haven't finished but I'm loving, and The Story of Pearl Girl which I have!)

What is it about cdramas and death of the main lead idek smh

✅ Ik this drama let a lot of people down for some reasons but I'm guessing it didn't let me down partly because I started it after it ended lol. So the binging was great!

✅ I think it fits that it's the story of pearl girl; that is Duanwu, we watch her grow from this hotheaded determined girl into a capable smart businesswoman Su Muzhe

✅ while Zhijing's story began with him being at the top of his game, hunting down the people who killed his family as a merchant, then he learned to love and learned that his actions have consequences to his loved one

✅ It's not his story, but it's the story of the pearl girl, so I guess goodbye was in due time. Poetic or something something

✅ The way they fell in love with Duanwu being the only person who questioned him and then kind of got under his skin. 🤌🏻🤌🏻

✅ I love how Kang Ju implied a couple times that Duanwu was growing more and more like Zhijing; calculating, resourceful, and smart, that by the end I think it's poetic that she becomes the successful businesswoman. Apart from her own very capable brains, she also learned from a lot of people who were basically not very good, who were good to her, and Zhijing himself; the strategist

✅ That 1.9m guy and the 1.6ish gal. Love the height difference 🤌🏻

✅ Kang Ju, the best not third wheel 😆

I was informed that in the novel Zhijing dies and afterwards Duanwu marries Zhang Jinran and they have a child. They didn't go down this route in the drama

And ngl, I quite like the novel ending. Zhang Jinran is a good guy and he's not an annoying 2ndml

Moving on is not a bad thing imo, it simply means the character found love again. It doesn't mean they've forgotten their previous love

And I'm quite partial to the idea that for the drama, Zhijing didn't die, but went on a journey to find an antidote with Kang Ju.

Pls... If they're not gonna straight up show him being buried or stabbed like ZYZ in FoF, I'm not gonna believe that he dies 😆 let me die on this hill.

____________________

I'm currently watching

1. Princess Royal

2. More rewatching of Story of Pearl Girl until the serotonin runs out

3. Brewing Love. Love this! Kim Sejeong! <3

4. I might go look for A Journey to Love next after finishing 1. and 3.

5. Light Shop!! So creepy!! So intriguing!!

If you're wondering why most of these don't have extensive explanation, that's because I have the memory of a mayfly. After some time I only remember the vibe 😀 unless it really gave me a lasting impression

[mononijikayu]

“dear theodosia” — gojo satoru.

"I'll be here," he murmured, his voice trembling with emotion. "I won't let you become a story. I'll fight with everything I have to be here, to see you grow, to love you." “Satoru, you’ll live a long and happy life with us, with me,” you said, looking at him tenderly. Worry echoed in your eyes, though. “You and I, we will grow old together. And die on the same day with our grandchildren and great-grandchildren around us.”

GENRE: post hidden - inventory arc (2010s)

WARNING/S: domesticity, fluff, family, comfort, angst, trauma, implied death, violence, romance, hurt/comfort, character death depiction of death, depictions of loss and depression, mention of pregnancy, mention of breastfeeding, mention of postpartum effects, depiction of the aftermath of birth, depiction of parenthood, depiction of blood, depiction of killing, depiction of suffering, depiction of anxiety, mention of death, mention of grief, profanity, family drama;

WORDS: 4.6k words

LISTEN: dear theodosia by lin manuel miranda and leslie odom jr.

NOTE: prepared to be sick of me because this entire time, you'll only be getting musical themed song inspired stuff because the songs have gotten back to me and kicked me into the nostalgia of musicals. anyway, this was so cute to me. i love dad-satoru so much. i hope i can write more of him. enjoy this a lot guys, i love you~ <3

masterlist

u s and t h e m

spoilers about shinjuku showdown

GOJO SATORU THINKS HE WAS NEVER BUILT FOR DOMESTIC LIFE. When he was younger, he thought he would live a life of solitary proportions. Sure, the elders would have pushed him to marry one way or another and force him to start a family. But he knew his heart wouldn’t have been in it. He knew that nothing in him would be genuine. And he didn’t want that. If he was being honest, his greatest fear was the lonesomeness that comes with his birth. His power had promised him the world. He knew from the moment he could think that he would not be a man among humanity — no, he would be a god. But it was quite clear that being on top is lonely, being a god is lonely, and he hated it.

He never thought that both of you would end up being together. Let alone that he would willingly settle down with anyone. You never truly seemed to be someone that loved that idea — you were still reeling from heartbreak. And him? He was left behind by the person he thought was his shadow, shattered with nothing. It wasn’t ideal, but he thought that you understood. He thought that you both had enough broken pieces between the two of you to be whole again. That if misery was an enemy, then the two of you would win. He was willing to bet on that.

And so, he took the gamble. He opened up, letting you see the cracks and scars that he had hidden for so long. He exposed his vulnerabilities, hoping you would do the same. It was a tentative beginning, filled with uncertainty and hesitation, but gradually, you both found solace in each other’s presence. 

The nights were the hardest, haunted by the ghosts of past loves and lost dreams. Yet, somehow, those shared moments of silence, the comfort of a warm hand, and the whispered confessions in the dark, made the loneliness bearable. You both learned to navigate the labyrinth of each other’s fears and insecurities, finding strength in the shared understanding that neither of you was alone anymore.

He was surprised by how naturally the pieces fell into place. Your laughter became a balm for his weary soul, and your touch grounded him in a way he never thought possible. Slowly, he started to see a future he had never dared to dream of – a future where he wasn’t isolated at the pinnacle of power, but rather, standing beside you, sharing the burdens and the joys.

He realized that the life he once dreaded, a life intertwined with another’s, was not a cage, but a liberation. The family he had feared would be forced upon him became a chosen haven of love and understanding. The heart he thought was too shattered to feel again began to beat with a new, hopeful rhythm.

In you, he found not just a partner, but a kindred spirit, someone who had been forged in the same fires of pain and loss. Together, you built something beautiful from the ruins, proving that even gods could find grace in the embrace of another’s love. And in that love, he discovered that being on top didn’t have to mean being alone. Instead, it meant having someone to share the view, someone to hold his hand as they looked down at the world together.

Gojo Satoru looked at you now, watching your sleeping form. It had only been a few days since he was released from the prison realm. Throughout that time, he couldn’t help but think about you. Thinking about how you were waiting for him. How your son was going to be waiting for his father to come home. Megumi, Tsumiki, his beloved students. They were all waiting for him. But when he saw you, he didn’t know what came over him. He rushed to you, and your arms opened wide. Just for him.

Time didn’t pass in the prison realm — but for you it did. He could see it. How tired you were. How all of this grief and pain, and suffering had cost you dearly. Your tears felt hot against his shoulders, your cries of relief bellowing through his entire body. He could feel it all; he could never forget it. Even now, he couldn’t. In all of your marriage, he had cost you dearly. You had sacrificed a lot of your life trying to help him achieve his dream for the Jujutsu world. You stood by him no matter what. You made a home for him anywhere and everywhere. You gave him everything.

As he watched you sleep, he marveled at your resilience. The lines on your face told stories of battles fought and won, of nights spent waiting and worrying, of unwavering love and dedication. He reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face, his touch light, as if afraid to wake you from your well-deserved rest. 

In that quiet moment, he made a silent vow. He promised himself that he would make up for all the time lost, for all the pain and sacrifices you endured. He would be the husband and father you deserved, the man who stood beside you as an equal, not just a protector. The burden of his power and his duties had always weighed heavily on him, but he realized now that he didn’t have to carry it alone.

You stirred slightly, a soft sigh escaping your lips, and his heart swelled with an overwhelming love and gratitude. The world outside was filled with uncertainties and dangers, but here, in this moment, everything felt right. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, a promise of better days to come.

“I’m home,” he whispered, his voice barely audible but filled with conviction. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he allowed himself to hope. Hope for a future where the weight of his responsibilities didn’t overshadow the simple joys of life. A future where he could see his son grow up, where he could laugh with his family, where he could find solace in your embrace every night. And with that hope, he drifted into a peaceful sleep beside you, ready to face whatever came next with you by his side.

He couldn’t believe it. How content you had made him — how happy you had made him. And now, he thought you had made him even happier. Even with all that had come to pass, he didn’t think it was a bad thing. He could feel it when he looked at you with his Six Eyes. You probably hadn’t been able to find yourself, being so busy holding everything together in his absence. Yet he could feel it. He could feel the life you had created bubbling in your belly. He could feel it echo with the essence of him and you.

A smile crept onto his face as he gently placed his hand on your stomach, feeling the faint flutter of new life beneath his fingertips. It was as if the universe had given him a second chance, a chance to be there for you and the new life you were bringing into the world. This tiny, growing miracle was a testament to your strength and resilience, a symbol of hope and renewal.

He marveled at the thought of another child, another chance to build a family filled with love and warmth. The future, which had once seemed so bleak and uncertain, now held promise and joy. He thought of your son, soon to be a big brother, and how they would grow up together, surrounded by the love and support of their parents and siblings.

Satoru's heart swelled with gratitude and love as he kissed your belly softly, whispering words of promise to the life growing within you. "I'm here, little baby." he murmured, his voice tender and filled with conviction. "I'll always be here for you, for all of us."

Satoru then held your belly, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your skin. You stirred slightly, a sleepy smile tugging at your lips as you murmured groggily, "That tickles."

He chuckled softly, his laughter like a soothing balm. "Sorry," he whispered, not really meaning it but enjoying the sound of your sleepy voice.

You sighed contentedly, your eyes half-opening to meet him. "Do you know?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief and affection. "That you’re pregnant again? I can see the baby growing."

You laughed softly, the sound filling the quiet room. "You didn't see Satoshi last time, you know." you teased.

Satoru pouted playfully, his expression a mix of mock offense and genuine amusement. Even with just the moonlight, his childishness can be seen so clearly too. "Satoshi was already too strong as a baby," he defended himself. "He concealed his presence from his papa."

You giggled, reaching up to touch his cheek. "He is his father's son, after all."

He leaned into your touch, his eyes softening with love. "I guess he is," he admitted, a hint of pride in his voice. "But this time, I won't miss a thing. I'll be here, every step of the way."

You smiled, feeling a wave of warmth and gratitude wash over you. "I know you will, Satoru." you said softly, your heart swelling with love for the man beside you. “You’ve never failed at that before.”

Satoru's hand remained on your belly, his tone blossoming with so much love. "I can't wait to meet our new little one." he whispered, his voice filled with awe and anticipation. “I’ve always wanted to have a big family.”

“I know.” You whispered to him, taking his other hand and holding it close with your own. “You’ve talked about it before.”

“But it was just hard…..with everything.” He hums, laying his back against the bed frame. “Now it’s going to be even harder — everyone knows about Satoshi now. And now….”

You shake your head at him. “We will be fine. As we always have been. It will be okay, Satoru. You will save Megumi, the kids. You will do us proud. And we’ll finally get our happily ever after.”

Silence engulfed Satoru for a moment. He kept thinking about his own father. His father had died when he was too young, so he didn’t remember anything about him. But he heard stories. He was a rough man to all, but his mother remembered him differently. And so she had a different story to tell.

Gojo Satoru didn’t want to voice it out loud, but he was worried. He worried that, just like his father, he would be a story to his child. That he would be nothing but a forgotten memory. He wanted to be there. He wanted to be someone who loved his child. He wanted his child to know him as Satoshi did. But he didn’t know what would happen now. He still had to face Sukuna and Kenjaku. And it wasn't that he lacked confidence, but he worried still. He worried, and it hurt him. He felt his heart be heavy about this, more than ever.

As he stared at your loving face, the weight of his fears pressed down on him. The thought of leaving you and his children behind, of becoming just another story, filled him with a deep, aching sorrow. He wanted to be more than a legend or a distant memory; he wanted to be a father, a husband, a man who was present and involved in the lives of those he loved.

His hand tightened slightly on your belly, as if trying to anchor himself to the present moment, to the promise of the future growing inside you. He leaned down, pressing his forehead gently against your stomach, closing his eyes as he whispered a silent vow to himself and to his unborn child.

"I'll be here," he murmured, his voice trembling with emotion. "I won't let you become a story. I'll fight with everything I have to be here, to see you grow, to love you."

“Satoru, you’ll live a long and happy life with us, with me,” you said, looking at him tenderly. Worry echoed in your eyes, though. “You and I, we will grow old together. And die on the same day with our grandchildren and great-grandchildren around us.”

He looked into your eyes, seeing the determination and love there, and felt a warmth spread through his chest. Your unwavering belief in their future together eased some of his fears, but the worry in your eyes mirrored his own. He didn’t want you to worry, he doesn’t like it. Not especially in your condition. But he thinks that you can’t help it. You love him. And loving him will always have its worst. Love after all is a curse among men.

"I want that," he whispered, his hand caressing your cheek. "I want to grow old with you, to see our children grow up, to be surrounded by family. I want to be there for all of it."

He lifted his head, meeting your concerned gaze. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice thick with unspoken fears. "I just... I want to be here. For you, for Satoshi, for our new baby. I don’t want to be just a memory."

You cupped his face, your eyes searching for him. "You won't be." you assured him, your voice filled with unwavering confidence. "We'll face whatever comes together. You're not alone in all of this, my love.”

Satoru nodded, swallowing hard as he tried to push past the lump in his throat. Your words, your presence, gave him strength. He knew the battles ahead would be daunting, but he also knew he had something worth fighting for, something worth living for. You, Satoshi, this babe, Megumi, his beloved students, his adored friends — you were worth living for. You were worth returning from hell from.

"I love you, darling." he whispered, leaning in to press a tender kiss to your lips. "And I promise, I'll do everything I can to stay with you. To be the father our children deserve."

Your fingers caressed his cheek, your smile a beacon of hope and reassurance. "And we love He smiled, his eyes shimmering with affection. “I know. I love you too.”

You grinned at him and leaned toward him, your lips pressing against his. "And I can't wait to see you as a papa again," you replied, your voice filled with equal parts excitement and tenderness. “You’ll be so beloved by this babe, Satoru. And I know you’ll love our child so much too.”

“I already love them,” he whispered, his smile the epitome of joy itself. “I can imagine it already. They’re moving so powerfully in your belly. I’m pretty sure they’re going to blow us all away.”

You laughed, the sound bright and full of hope. “Can you imagine, Yaga teaching this kid the way Gakuganji has taught me?”

Satoru chuckled, the thought filling him with a mix of amusement and anticipation. "Oh, that would be something to see. Another little powerhouse in the making. But you know, with our combined stubbornness and spirit, I think we’re going to have our hands full.”

"Definitely," you agreed, your eyes sparkling with joy. "But we'll manage. We always do."

He nodded, his heart swelling with love and gratitude. "Yeah, we will. Together."

"You will be," you replied firmly, your hand covering his. "We'll make it through this, Satoru. Together. We'll have the future we've always dreamed of."

He leaned in, resting his forehead against yours, drawing strength from your presence. "Thank you," he whispered. "For believing in me, in us. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to find out," you promised, your voice soft but resolute. "Because we're in this together, always. For better or for worse.”

Before Satoru could respond, the door to your bedroom creaked open, the sound slicing through the quiet of the night. A small figure shuffled inside, barely visible in the dim light filtering through the curtains. It was young Gojo Satoshi, his small form barely reaching the edge of the bed. He looked distressed, your little boy. Satoru’s eyes softened at the sight of your darling boy.

Clutching his favorite stuffed animal tightly to his chest, he paused at the foot of the bed, uncertainty etched on his face. You and Satoru turned towards him simultaneously, your hearts melting at the sight of your son standing there, his eyes wide and teary. His pajamas were rumpled, his hair tousled from sleep, and it was evident that something had unsettled him deeply.

"Mama, Papa," Satoshi whispered, his voice barely audible above the soft hum of the room. He took a hesitant step closer, seeking comfort in the warmth of his parents' presence.

Satoru's heart clenched with concern as he reached out a comforting hand towards Satoshi. "Come here, Satoshi." he said gently, his voice a soothing murmur. "What's wrong, my little dawn?"

Satoshi hesitated for a moment, his lower lip trembling as he struggled to find the words to articulate his fear. "I... I had a nightmare," he finally managed to say, his voice wavering with emotion. "There was a big monster... and I couldn't find you and Papa."

You exchanged a knowing glance with Satoru, silently communicating your shared concern for your son's well-being. Without a second thought, Gojo Satoru lifted the covers, creating a welcoming space between the two of you. "It's okay, dearest dawn." he reassured, his voice soft but firm. "You're safe now. Come, lie down with us."

Satoshi blinked back tears, relief flooding his features as he scrambled onto the bed. He nestled himself between you and Satoru, his small body seeking solace in the warmth and familiarity of his parents. Satoru wrapped an arm protectively around him, pulling him close, while you gently smoothed his hair, offering some tender comfort that could never be echoed in words.

"What was the monster like, Satoshi?" you asked softly, your voice a gentle lullaby in the quiet of the room.

Satoshi took a deep breath, his eyes still wide with lingering fear. "It was... big and scary," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "I... I wasn’t strong enough, mama. It was too much!”

Satoru's heart twisted with empathy as he listened to his son's words. He tightened his hold around Satoshi, his voice filled with reassurance. "Monsters aren't real, my dearest boy." he said firmly, brushing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "But even if they were, I would never let anything harm you. Papa will always protect you."

Satoshi looked up at Satoru, his eyes searching his father's face for any sign of doubt. Finding none, he nodded slowly, a flicker of relief passing over his features. "Really, Papa?"

"Really," Satoru affirmed, his voice steady and unwavering. "You're safe with us, always."

You leaned over, pressing a kiss to Satoshi's cheek. "We love you so much, sweetheart," you murmured, your voice filled with tenderness. "You're our brave little boy."

Satoshi's shoulders relaxed, the tension melting away as he nestled deeper into the embrace of his parents. "I love you too, Mama and Papa," he whispered, his eyes growing heavy with exhaustion.

"We love you more than anything." Satoru and you said in unison, their voices a gentle promise of unconditional love.

As your son Satoshi drifted off to sleep, his breathing slowing into the steady rhythm of peace, you and Satoru exchanged a soft smile. In that quiet moment, surrounded by the warmth and love of your family, you knew that together, you could weather any storm. And as the night wrapped it's comforting arms around you, you held onto each other, cherishing the precious bond that bound your hearts together.

Gojo Satoru was happiest here, he knew.

Whatever gods there are, he thanks them now.

For you and his children, will be his dearest treasures.

epilogue

In the days that followed Gojo Satoshi’s night of nightmares, life settled into a gentle rhythm once more. The worry that had momentarily clouded Satoru’s heart lifted as he watched his son regain his usual spark, chasing after Tsumiki's cat or eagerly helping with simple tasks around the house.

One evening, with the leaves dancing in the breeze outside, you and Satoru decided it was time to share some exciting news with Satoshi. The three of you gathered in the cozy living room, nestled together on the couch as the fire crackled softly in the hearth.

“Satoshi,” you began, your voice warm with anticipation. “Your papa and I have something special to tell you.”

Satoshi looked up from his coloring book, his curiosity piqued. “What is it, Mama?”

Satoru took a deep breath, a smile spreading across his face as he exchanged a meaningful glance with you. “You’re going to be an elder brother, my dearest dawn!” he announced, his voice tinged with joy.

Satoshi blinked, processing the words for a moment before his face lit up in realization. “Wait... really?” he exclaimed, his eyes widening with excitement.

You nodded, your heart swelling with happiness as you watched your son’s reaction. “Yes, really, little one.” you confirmed, reaching out to ruffle his hair affectionately. “You’re going to have a little brother or sister.”

Satoru thinks that your son will always be the morning sun.His name is just perfect. He was truly the dawn that made your lives ever so beautiful. It’s the way his smile will make him undone, it will always make him feel like the world is bigger than it actually was. When Satoshi was born, all he could think about was that he filled what was empty in Gojo Satoru’s life. And that will never change. Not even if there is a new little one coming along.

Satoru worried about telling Satoshi, because in these past four, five years — he was the only son. He had gotten doted upon as a little lordling, the only dawn in his parent’s lives. But Satoru feels glad that your son was happy. That Satoshi already loves his little sibling as much as Satoru loves this little baby in your belly already.

Satoshi’s eyes darted between you and Satoru, a thousand questions bubbling up within him. “When will the baby come?” he asked eagerly. “Will the baby be able to play with me?”

“In a few months, little dawn.” Satoru replied, his voice filled with tenderness. “But you’ll have to wait until the baby’s a bit older and stronger to play with them, hm?”

“It’s okay!” Satoshi beams tenderly. “I can wait. I’ll take care of the baby and make sure that they’ll grow up strong!”

 “You’ll be the best big brother, Satoshi. We know it.” You smiled at your son, kissing the edge of his brow. “You’re already so kind to them.”

Satoshi beamed with pride, a sense of responsibility settling over him as he realized the importance of his new role. You think that you were truly blessed — to have such an endearing little boy who wants to do nothing but good. Who wants to love as much as he can. Who wants to be as kind as he could. You could see all the good, the wonder, the beauty of your husband in your little boy. And you hope that he will grow up to be just like his father. 

“I can’t wait!” he declared, his excitement contagious. “I can’t wait to be a big brother!”

You and Satoru exchanged a glance, delighted by Satoshi's enthusiasm. The room seemed to glow with warmth and anticipation, the air buzzing with the promise of new beginnings. As Satoshi's excitement bubbled over, he jumped up from the couch and threw his arms around both of you in a tight hug, his little face radiant with joy. 

“I’ll be the best big brother out there, mama, papa! I swear!”

"You will, my little dawn," you said, squeezing him gently. "And you're going to be amazing at it."

Satoru chuckled warmly, ruffling Satoshi's hair affectionately. "What mama said is correct! You're going to be the best big brother this baby could ask for."

Satoshi grinned from ear to ear, his imagination already racing with thoughts of teaching his new sibling all the things he loved. "I'll teach them how to play jujutsu and how to be brave like Papa! I’m going to be as good as Megumi–oniichan!”

The mention of Megumi was a bit gut-wrenching. Satoru’s eyes dimmed a little, a flicker of sadness passing through them, but he continued to smile, his expression gentle yet tinged with longing. You noticed the shift in his demeanor and pursed your lips, feeling a pang of empathy for the ache he carried.

You could only hope that you and Satoru would be good enough. Good enough to create a home where Megumi would feel welcomed back, where he could find solace and warmth after all he had been through. You hoped that soon enough, Megumi would be by your side again, sharing in the joys and challenges of raising this new baby alongside you both.

Satoru glanced at you, sensing your thoughts, and reached out to gently squeeze your hand, offering silent reassurance and solidarity. He shared your hopes, your dreams of a future where their family would be whole once more. You take his hand and kiss the edge of his hand.

"I want Megumi to be a part of this too," Satoru murmured softly, his voice filled with determination. "I want him to see how much love we have to give, to watch this baby grow as he watched Satoshi grow."

You nodded, feeling a surge of determination and love for the family you were building together. "We'll make it happen," you replied firmly, your voice tinged with quiet resolve. "We'll create a home where Megumi knows he's always welcomed, always loved."

That night was filled with the tender innocence of childhood dreams and the quiet anticipation of parenthood. After tucking Satoshi into bed, his eyes bright with excitement for the sibling yet to come, you and Satoru stood together in the doorway of his room, soaking in the purity of his joy-filled imagination.

Satoshi had whispered animatedly about the adventures he envisioned sharing with the new baby—games in the backyard, secret hideouts in the attic, and bedtime stories where he would be the storyteller, just like Papa. His enthusiasm was infectious, filling the air with a palpable sense of hope and new beginnings.

You and Satoru listened with hearts full of love, cherishing these fleeting moments that held the promise of a growing family. As Satoshi's voice eventually faded into soft snores, you closed his door gently, the sound resonating with the quiet serenity of the night.

Satoru turned to you, his eyes reflecting the soft glow of the hallway light. With a tender smile, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close against his chest. The warmth of his embrace was reassuring, a silent affirmation of the love and unity you shared.

"I can't wait to see where happiness begins." he murmured, his voice a gentle murmur against your hair. His words held a mix of excitement and wonder, as if he was already imagining the new dynamics their family would soon embrace.

"Me too." you whispered back, leaning into his embrace. The softness of his touch, the steady beat of his heart against yours, filled you with a profound sense of gratitude and anticipation for the future.

In that moment, standing in the quiet hallway bathed in moonlight, you knew that together, you and Satoru look at each other. There was no need for anymore words. You just needed each other. You just needed this moment.

You smiled at him, and he smiles back. Just a little bit more, everything will be over. You will finally live in peace. You’ll be happy. You’ll grow old together. You believe it so. And you wish that it would be enough.

[lyxurious]

So you like Luo Yunxi: A drama recommendation list

So you watched "Till the End of the Moon", and all you got is heartbreak, brainworms, and a shiny new lowkey or highkey obsession with Luo Yunxi (perhaps other people from the amazing cast too, but we're focusing on him here)? You want to see more of him, but you don't know where to start? Fear not, for this list is here to hopefully help you out with that.

Here be some (non-spoilery, but might mention if it generally ends well or not) spark notes on all his past dramas with him in the first male lead role, that are currently available with English subs (+ 2 very important supporting roles + 1 bonus). In chronological order, from most to least recent!

Light Chaser Rescue

Type: Modern, rescue missions, human drama, romance

Episodes: 40

Available at: WeTv, YouTube, viki

What's the deal? Jaded and cynical lawyer meets cute and icy doctor lady who is not here for his bs, and discovers the joys of love and most importantly, volunteer rescue work.

On the one hand: Detailed and extremely realistic scenes of all sorts of natural disasters happening. The production team collaborated with a real life team where anyone can volunteer and get training as a rescuer. They built a wholeass glacier for the final episodes and you could never tell it's fake looking at it even on HD. The side characters are mostly likeable (which is something you can't say for every drama), although flawed and human. FL is a cool-headed independent grownup woman who bottles up her feelings like a fine vintage.

On the other: The pacing is rather choppy and makes it feel like they planned out the disaster scenes/rescue missions first and everything else was added later to link said missions together and give the characters stuff to do in between. Since this is a drama and they have a limited cast, the team's abilities are a bit exaggerated at times (they turn up for everything that happens anywhere, doctor FL is a swiss army knife of specialties). Ending feels a bit abrupt.

Watch it if: You enjoy seeing Luo Yunxi suffer physically, you like stories with ordinary people being heroes while also remaining very much ordinary people.

Lie to Love

Type: Modern, romance, office, suspense

Episodes: 32

Available at: WeTV, YouTube

What's the deal? Local woman is convinced her one night stand during a mountain hike killed her father, so she returns after 2 years to go undercover in male nerdy Paris Hilton protagonist's glitzy hotel business and cancel his entire existence. Spoiler alert (but not really because this is actually not even the first 6 eps): he is a good guy and didn't do it and they fall in love and together they set out to uncover the truth and take down his shady uncle.

On the one hand: Objectively speaking, the plot for this is on the better side for a drama of its type. It's got suspense, it's got plot twists, it's got fluff, it's got drama, it's got more communication between the main CP than one would expect on a regular day, misunderstandings don't last long, the nice side characters are likeable, and 2nd ML is doing an incredible job at being a 2-faced creep. LYX is serving many a great business wear look in the 2nd half especially.

On the other: The FL is Cheng Xiao. A severely miscast Cheng Xiao in a role that is core in the plot and on paper, challenging. For fans, winner winner chicken dinner. For the rest of us, it's up to each viewer to decide if overall as a drama, the points in the above section are strong enough to balance this casting out.

Watch it if: You have a thing for men in suits and glasses (that makes two of us), you prefer ignoring the FL in dramas so you can make elaborate headcanons shipping the ML with the psycho stalker 2nd ML or the goofy rockstar 3rd ML instead.

Broker

Type: Modern, office, medical research, suspense, romance

Episodes: 42

Available at: YouTube, viki

What's the deal? Spy is ordered to infiltrate a lab and lowkey honey trap his way into stealing female scientist's multi-million research, is uno reverse carded when she fixes his broken heart and trust in humanity.

On the one hand: The rare case where he is a morally grey character in a modern setting. The other rare case where he gets to do action sequences in a modern setting. There's a shower sex scene (sit down, implied and partially dressed of course, this is still a cdrama), and one where he gets whipped on a table. There is a very badass sidekick girl who is just as broken as him if not worse, and very shippable with the FL's perky and spoiled little sister.

On the other: The premise is cool but sadly, there's way more filler office drama (in the lab) and 2nd CP being a frustrating snoozefest than spy activities. It's a drama that was held up for a long while in censorship limbo, and a considerable chunk of the ML's backstory and scenes were left in the editing room, which unfortunately throws the show off balance by a lot.

Watch it if: You are a diehard Luo Yunxi, Victoria Song or Xu Kaicheng completionist (in which case you have permission to come cry on my shoulder), you find yourself trapped in a cave, the rescue team is 48 hours away, and the only thing in there with you is a device that has no other data on it but all 42 episodes of Broker.

Love is Sweet

Type: Modern, romance, office

Episodes: 36

Available at: iQiyi, YouTube, amazon prime

What's the deal? Local woman applies for a job in huge investment banking company where she runs into her childhood friend -slash- nemesis after 10 years, they both gradually discover time makes people grow and occasionally fall deeply, ridiculously in love.

On the one hand: Sugar and fun and shoujo manga tropes aplenty! God tier CP chemistry! Some of the most epic makeouts to ever slip under the nose of the review committees. Characters that have actual profound growth under the "every romcom ever" cheeky banter. 2nd ML also offers shirtlessness and angsty backstory if you cannot live without those. There's even an adorable and very plot-relevant corgi!

On the other: The tremendous main CP chemistry has made this drama the exception for many who otherwise avoid both modern dramas and romcoms, but if that doesn't carry the show for you, I'm afraid there's not much else to see here. The 2nd CP is fuel for the "2nd CPs are annoying and waste screentime" complaint fire. (although, protip: even on the first watch you can probably skip their scenes without missing anything of value). The tear allergy is a bit of a ridiculous premise, but it's a real thing (who knew!), and it's not addressed much after a point.

Watch it if: You need something sweet and cute to fill the gaping hole Till The End of the Moon left in your chest, you love the tsundere overbearing CEO archetype but you also prefer it when he is more than a dry irredeemable asshole, you love romcoms because you enjoy both the "will they won't they" and the cute "we're an item now" domesticity.

And The Winner is Love

Type: Costume, wuxia, romance

Episodes: 48

Available at: iQiyi, YouTube

What's the deal? Dashing, elegant, fan-wielding dreamboat young master falls in love with girlie burdened with the heavy responsibility of leading a sect with bad rep and protecting a very powerful and thus dangerous cultivation manual. Supposedly.

On the one hand: Luo Yunxi looks like this:

for the whole drama. Every novel writer who ever wrote about a flirty and sophisticated young master whose beauty made flowers bloom along his path and women as well as men fell in love with him at first sight and all that purple prose-y stuff, has actually written about Luo Yunxi as Shangguan Tou whether they were aware of it or not. He is The Archetype and his popularity among bilibili fmv editors is proof. There's some great wire work in the first half. The soundtrack is pretty solid.

On the other: If you're looking for plot, run away and don't look back. I've watched the whole thing and I could not tell you how the story goes. I went in with a "idc about plot, i just want to look at Luo Yunxi in costume for 40 hours" mentality and I still struggled, make of that what you will. Chen Yuqi is the FL, saddled with a poorly written role and a choice of VA who arguably wasn't the best fit for her or the role. Chemistry is passable depending on your standards, but for most of the 2nd half of the drama it takes a nosedive together with the plot. Luo Yunxi got injured while filming this so they had to cut action scenes by a lot, so in the last 3rd or so it's wuxia without the wuxia. It's the only recent case where he also had to be dubbed (covid didn't allow him to get in the studio and do it himself, as he usually does).

Watch it if: You are a yumejoshi and need material to self-insert into a costume drama FL's position, you are more determined to watch lyx look pretty in costume, all else be damned, than Samwise Gamgee was determined to make sure Frodo throws the One Ring in the flames of Mount Doom.

Princess Silver

Type: Costume, court drama, romance, some wuxia elements

Episodes: 58

Available at: YouTube, viki

What's the deal? Princess RongLe wakes up one day with amnesia (no, hear me out) to the news that she is to be sent to another kingdom and marry a prince she's never met for political alliance reasons (no, hear me out!). There, she is faced with unexpected revelations and finds herself looking for the truth while she gets embroiled with the aforementioned haughty prince, a shady general, and her (sometimes a bit too?) caring and overprotective brother.

On the one hand: (mild spoiler alert?) His character ends up stealing the show. FL can act and has good relationships with other female characters (arguably better than with any man in this, even in the chemistry department). Story and plot are quite decent. It's one of those rare cdramas that builds up as it goes instead of deflating in the last stretch.

On the other: LYX is 3rd ML in this, so if he's your main motivation to watch, be prepared for limited screentime, especially in the 2nd half of the drama (until the final 8-10 episodes where it's all about). If you're not into the FL with either 1st or 2nd ML, the first half can be a drag, like, personally I started appreciating this drama for real after episode 25-30.

Watch it if: You are patient, you like getting emotionally sucker-punched, you love a good, earthshaking final plot twist.

Ashes of Love

Type: Costume, xianxia

Episodes: 63 (or 60, depending on the version, content is the same either way though)

Available at: Netflix, YouTube, viki, WeTV, amazon prime

What's the deal? Bottom of the food chain grape fairy who was deprived of the ability to feel romantic love and her life was honestly better and carefree like that, trips and falls into a love triangle with overconfident golden boy Heavenly Prince Phoenix, and his older brother, abused wallflower Heavenly Prince Dragon. Things go very great and not complicated at all from there. :))

On the one hand: Xianxia 101, it hits all the items on the checklist. The lavish costumes, the sprawling sets and world building, the entanglement over multiple lives, mortal arc, immortal arc, demon realm arc. CG that still holds up well for the genre 5 years later. The epic and emotional OST (someone has yet to surpass Sa Ding Ding's 左手指月 for the title of "best cdrama ED song", i don't make the rules). Arguably, The most iconic 2nd ML in a cdrama, responsible for a significant chunk of its long-lasting chokehold on the audience. Even if you've never seen the drama, if you're in the asian media adjacent internet, you've most likely seen this:

On the other: Xianxia 101, a double-sided coin. All the clichés are here, and if you're not here for them you get aboard the struggle bus. The show's views on romantic feelings can be a bit, let's say, old fashioned, even for the genre's standards. If you're not into the main CP, you're in for an uphill battle of frustration. If you're Team Runyu prepare to hate almost everyone for there is no justice in this land. (In AoL one is either Team Runyu or Team Xu Feng, no middle ground, and if you're reading this, especially because you liked lyx as Tantai Jin, I don't see how you could end up Team Xu Feng, so I'm gonna run with this assumption). (in theory you can also be Team No One, but in practice if you're that, sitting through this entire drama must have been as fun as having a tooth pulled out with no anesthesia)

Watch it if: if you're any degree of a lyx fan, period. Runyu is a mandatory class.

Children's Hospital Pediatrician

Type: Modern, medical, romance

Episodes: 42

Available at: YouTube

What's the deal? Aspiring surgeon -slash- frustrating disaster girl makes a huge blunder on her first day of her hospital residency, and can only stay as a pediatrician. She hates it and makes her literal saint of a secret husband's life miserable. We watch as she gets to grow as a person to the detriment of everyone else's mental health. Secondary cast has subplots of various dating entanglements.

On the one hand: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, hmmm..... well... there's a scene where lyx takes off his shirt for a physical exam, if that's a bonus (ep40, 27:13-28:05, you're welcome)? Queen Zheng Li is in it? I am scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

On the other: It's way too long for absolutely no reason, the FL is the most frustrating and irrational baby I've ever seen (which is by no means a low bar), 90% of characters who are not the FL get their development butchered to make her look better, 2/3rds of the cast are incompetent at acting and the other 1/3rd is being wasted in this mess. I am trying to be as objective I can in these, but I've got nothing for this one.

Watch it if: You have chronically low blood pressure that no medication can fix, you have watched literally everything else on the list and having a manic episode where you will chew on the walls if you don't look at Luo Yunxi's face in something you have never seen before, you want to watch some other mid drama, so you want to watch something worse first in order to appreciate the other drama more.

Fox in the Screen

Type: Costume, xianxia

Episodes: 22

Available at: YouTube, viki, amazon prime (as The Screen Foxes)

What's the deal? Orphan girl wins by drunken mistake a magical screen that houses 3 fox demon guys, they help her with her screen shop and also with crossdressing to pass the exam for the position of palace screen painter. She earns a grumpy boyfriend with a tragic past in the meanwhile.

On the one hand: It's short and goes fast, and in all honesty, considering it was made on a budget of 3 paperclips and a piece of gum, the story is much more concise and watchable than I, at least, personally expected. You get to witness the caterpillar stage of lyx on this path to guzhuang drama godhood. If you're one for tragic love stories there is one hiding under the DIY production. White Fox and the prince are a solid ship.

On the other: It is very much made on the aforementioned budget of 3 paperclips and a piece of gum, and it very much shows. Everything is rough, the costumes, the makeup, the editing, the acting for the most part. Having even half an expectation is the wrong way to approach this drama.

Watch it if: you have the heart of a mother watching her kids at the school play and admiring what a great job they are doing or if you are like Marie Kondo and love mess in an affectionate way.

Bonus: PhantaCity

PhantaCity was a tv show back in 2018, whose concept was making short plays and having actors perform them live in a single, do or die take for a studio audience. Luo Yunxi and Wu Jinyan, both with a background in ballet, are paired up in a short musical, acting as the hands of a newly repaired clock. If you ever wanted to see him dance, sing and act all in one thing, don't sleep on this. It's short and beautiful, and the official upload embedded above is subbed in English!

[nerd-fandom-drabbles]

Entanglements

Description: When Rook invites Lucanis for a nightcap, things do not go according to plan.

(Inspired by this wild VG247 article - contains some light spoilers)

1892 words

Characters: A very oblivious Lucanis, femme elven Rook

Pairings: Lucanis x Rook

Genre: Drama, Comedy, Romance

Content warnings: sexual themes, some cursing

WARNING: This contains some light spoilers for Veilguard pre-release gameplay footage and maybe The Wigmaker Job if you squint really hard.

Note: This is probably a very OOC version of Lucanis. But Mary Kirby said he was awkward and this is _very_ awkward. I thought it was funny, so here you go!

It was a quiet, ordinary evening at the Lighthouse, when Rook found Lucanis in the kitchen preparing supper for the team. She'd asked him to come find her for a nightcap after dinner; she had gotten a gift she thought he'd enjoy sharing. In response, he'd nodded his agreement and continued chopping vegetables.

After, they had chatted a bit longer, and she did that thing she often did where she stole his favorite coffee mug and took a few sips out of it. She said everything tasted better out of it, and even in his exasperation with her theft, he couldn't exactly deny it. It was a nice mug, and he had fantastic taste in coffee.

And so, that evening after the team had gobbled down two entire lasagna trays, one meat and one veggie, Lucanis went into the larder and spent around an hour pointedly ignoring Spite, who, as expected, eventually got bored and left him alone with his thoughts. In that time, he'd managed to read a few short chapters of the book assigned at this week's book club and prepared to meet with Rook. When he was satisfied, he made his way up the stairs, ignoring the restless feeling in his stomach.

He knocked on the door and within a moment or two Rook opened it. He was hit with a thick waft of sweet fragrance and warmth as she did, the smell of her soap mingling with the scented candles she had burning by her bedside. He looked down at her, and it seemed she had already dressed for bed. Odd. She wore a satin night-robe tied loosely over a satin chemise. It looked soft and comfortable, but perhaps a little chilly, given the way her nipples poked through the fabric.

“Luca?” she said, repeating the nickname she'd given him, “Luca! I'm glad you came! Do you like brandy? I received a really nice gift-bottle and thought you might share it with me?”

Lucanis suddenly saw himself and her as if from the outside looking in. Her big smile and tousled, curly hair let out of its usual braid. The tasteful bit of cleavage peeking from behind the lace trim of her chemise. The fire in the hearth behind her. The two crystal glasses and decanter set out on the coffee table. Her huge bed stacked with velvety pillows and blankets.

He looked at her, then back into the room, then back at her increasingly confused expression. A realization dawned on him.

“Wait...” Lucanis propped himself against the doorframe with squinted, suspicious eyes, “Are you trying to have sex with me?”

She stared at him dumbfounded for a moment, then straightened up a bit and shrugged.

“Uh, yeah,” She blinked, "Kinda."

“Why?”

What do you mean why? She fought to keep her palm from colliding with her face in exasperation, in the hopes the situation was still salvageable. She calmly explained, “Why do you think? Because I like you and find you attractive.”

To that, he merely stared at her a moment, frowned, and then wagged his finger at her, in blame, confusion and disbelief. He then stormed off, disappearing down the hall.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Rook let out a deep breathy growl of frustration and fell face-first onto her bed. How, of all of the men she could have found herself having feelings for, did she manage to pick the most skittish one possible? Getting him to open up had been like pulling teeth, and now that she finally was getting more than half-smiles and three word answers out of him, this happens. After a moment, she heard heavy footsteps returning, and her large, pointed ears perked up in response.

His voice rang out from her room's threshold once more, “And you did not think to tell me this?” She rolled onto her back. “I'm really not sure how much more obvious I could have been.”

“Bah.”

She lifted her head just in time to see him throw his hands up and wander off again. She sighed and sat up to a sitting position facing the door.

“Lucanis, just come back. Can we talk this out? Like adults?”

Suddenly he was back in the doorway, scowling and tapping his foot impatiently, “I don't know. Can you tell me when you hatched this plan of yours?”

“What? There is no plan. Nothing hatched.” She scooted closer to the edge of the mattress, a subtle movement in his direction, “I just want to be closer to you. And tonight seemed... opportune.”

The field team had decided to take a day off tomorrow, which was why she had picked this evening. They wouldn't have to worry about an early rise the next day, and if things went well could have plenty of time together.

“Ah, right,” Then a lengthy pause. On the other side of the doorway, Lucanis' mind was moving a mile a minute, reliving the moments they had shared together leading up until this point and picking them apart for the cues that he had obviously missed. “So, when you suggested we read that book on wyverns for book club?”

“Illario told me you like them.”

“Do you like them?”

“Does it matter?” she pivoted. The fact was, she couldn't care less about wyverns, “I knew you'd find it interesting, so I made the suggestion. I wanted to make you happy.”

“So you could have sex with me!”

“Oh, for fuck's sake, Luca,” she groaned again, “Can you please explain to me what the problem is?”

“The problem is that I thought we were operating as a professional partnership.”

“We are a professional partnership!” She wanted to scream but didn't, “You're in the Veilguard.”

“And now I learn there has been this insidious secret thread woven through the whole thing,” he argued pointedly, not quite raising his voice, but his face already flushed with anger or maybe embarrassment, “If I had noticed earlier I would have- I could have-”

“What?” Now was her turn to throw her hands up in frustration.

“I could have left! I could have put another Crow in my place.”

“Why would you have done that?”

“Because of this!” He gestured wildly between them, more frenzied and emotionally charged than she'd ever seen him. “Entanglement!”

“Contrary to what the chantry preaches, being 'entangled' is not some horrible sin, Lucanis.”

“Oh but it is. Entanglements get you killed. Or they are used to manipulate you. Or they die. Or they are used to manipulate you and then you both die!” He stared at her with pleading eyes, “We can't... do... this! There's too much at stake!” He laughed bitterly, “And you should be the one saying this, by the way, not me.”

That's what this is about?

“You're afraid that something is going to happen to us because you care about me and I care about you,” She followed the thought to its natural conclusion, “Right? You also have feelings? For me?”

“Of course I do. What do you think I am, a moron?”

At that, she couldn't help but laugh, “I wasn't sure I was your type.”

“I'm a mess. Everyone is my type. But even if that were false, you'd be my type.” He was surprisingly self-aware for someone so utterly oblivious. “I just didn't think I actually had a chance what with the demon and the bloody hands and the disastrous social graces.”

“Well, you do, so I guess we're all doomed,” she joked wryly.

“I guess so!” He gave the doorframe a sad little kick and then slid to the floor, arms collapsing over his knees.

She watched him silently, gently kicking her feet back and forth against the bedskirt. Her heart ached to see him so distressed. But so much about this utterly uncharacteristic outburst made sense now; she'd clearly hit on something very raw and sensitive without meaning to. And she'd hit it so hard that the scared little boy from his childhood came out and took over.

She had known about the physically brutal nature of his training by Caterina's hand, but hadn't considered that it might have affected him emotionally. It seemed like everything he thought about romantic feelings, about love, was horribly tainted and warped by fear and anxiety. She wondered if he'd ever been able to accept love from another person. If he'd ever truly been offered it.

“We'll be vulnerable. We could be used against each other. Like my parents-”

Her heart dropped. She'd never heard the full story of what had happened to them, but had assumed it was terribly tragic. He didn't finish the thought, and she wouldn't dare ask him to when he was in this state, but it was obvious now that she had been correct.

He rubbed his face with his hands in a desperate attempt to self-soothe and leaned back against the doorframe. He counted their shared enemies on his fingertips, “The Venatori, the Qunari invasion, the Evanuris. How are we supposed to defeat them like this?”

“I don't know,” she slid to the floor and crawled over to him. He watched her approach for a moment, then shook his head, and sighed. When she got to him she slid in close and rested her chin on his shoulder. “But maybe we do it together?”

He glanced at her again, the worry and resistance clear in his face, and she kissed him on the cheek. She then looped her arm in his and nuzzled in.

He took a deep breath, and then grumbled, matter of factly, “That might have been the first thing Caterina ever taught me: when you're working a job, always keep emotions out of it. Always.” He punctuated his words by chopping his left hand with his right.

“Maybe she was wrong.”

“It wouldn't be fair if she was. It would be like being rewarded for greed.”

“And so instead you should be punished? For wanting connection?” For needing love?

“Everyone can't have everything.”

“Maybe,” she stroked his hand with her own, intertwining their fingers, “Maybe not.”

He was still upset, but the warm sensations of her hand on his and her hair tickling his neck were disarming him in a way he wasn't sure he was ready for. They sat like that for a while; her breath fluttering against his collarbone and her chest pressed against him. He felt like if he concentrated, they were close enough for him to feel her heartbeat. It was... nice.

“I'm sorry for blaming you. I know you are-”

“Not an evil temptress out to steal your soul?”

“Mierda. Is that how I sounded?” He thought for a moment, “Yeah. That's how I sounded.”

“Well, for the record, I still like you. And all is forgiven. As long as you stay,” she brought his hand to her mouth and set a gentle kiss on it, “And work through this with me.”

“I can do that.”

“Good.” He could feel her smiling into his shoulder, “We will find a way to keep each other safe. And we'll be happy. And it'll be fine.”

“Okay.” He sounded a tad unconvinced. He turned her hand over, and as she had done to his, kissed it. Then, with more resolve, he repeated himself, “Okay.”

“Now, can we please get up off the floor?”

“Yeah, I could use a sip of that brandy.”

“Me too.”

[justawanderingbabbit]

Strange Notes: The Liu Chang Episodes

I'll probably be watching more of the series later, but wanted to review Liu Chang's roles in this short horror anthology first.

Series Premise: In a bustling district, a House of Wonders variety store has opened, where items, seemingly ordinary, each possess peculiar functions. The owner, Damon, has documented the instructions for use in the Wonders Notebook, allowing customers to select items based on their needs. People from all walks of life flock to the House of Wonders, each facing their own dilemmas and seeking ways to overcome them. However, in the end, they invariably discover that what truly resolves their issues isn't these strange and curious goods, but rather their own love and faith. -- TenCent Video synopsis.

ETA: I found out there was a fourth episode for Liu Chang that I managed to miss. Rectifying that and giving the episode titles and Liu Chang's character names.

Beneath the cut because as usual... LONG                 (Also, SPOILERS!)

Episode 7: Memory Camera, Yu Sheng

Yu Sheng (Liu Chang) gets hold of a magic camera that shows the photographer and photographed person's memories. He and his girlfriend Lin, who both have amnesia thanks to an accident, make use of it to rediscover their relationship with each other. Except Lin realizes there's more to their memories than what Yu Shen is allowing her to see.

When she takes photos of Yu Shen covered in blood, she becomes suspicious of his motives and tries to run, only to learn that the memories the camera is showing her come from an attempted assault that she managed to escape by half-killing her foster father.

In the end, the couple decide they're best off making new, good, memories, than worrying too much about the past. They leave the camera with the proprietor of the House of Wonders and go off happily together, leaving the old memory of their amnesia behind.

This one is mostly a positive story. I'm not sure if the last scene was intended to suggest things weren't okay, but given the camera only takes pictures of the past, and the photograph Damon takes is something we already know, I'm not sure how it could be.

Damon, however, gets an ugly shock when he takes a blank photo of himself, so.... yeah.

Episode 18: Idol Drama Life, Gao Yuan

I didn't watch this one through because it hit all my cringe buttons. Liu Chang's character is a salary man who would love to be the hero in a romantic drama. His wish is granted suddenly when he finds the world stopped around him and a director demanding he behave in a certain way in order to win the love of a cold-hearted female CEO.

Unable to break out of the film crew's control, he does as he's told, even though he has no interest in said CEO and is actually in love with the little flower girl near his office. Following the script, he ends up marrying the CEO, who soon after dies for Reasons. At this point he thinks everything is a drama and believes the CEO is also acting, so doesn't feel any grief for her in his personal reality.

The script then allows him to fall in love with his flower girl, to his great pleasure. Except - unbeknownst to him - the flower girl is also an actress whose script has them falling in love and her inheriting the fortune he got from the CEO when he dies in two months.

I really didn't enjoy this one at all, though I did feel like there was plenty of meta to be had for Liu Chang and his struggles with romance drama/comedies. He doesn't handle them well, especially against perky little ingenues. I also didn't see a point where the character actually acquired an object from the House of Wonders, so his getting dragged into the mess doesn't seem fair.

Episode 21: Random Life, A-Qi

This one has one of my favorite time travel memes, although I sincerely hope the MC gets out of the problem in the end.

The main character finds himself fragmented through a month or so of time, waking without memory and sometimes injured. His only lifeline is a notebook he carries with him, showing the days he's lived in and hints as to what happened in his life. There's no notes past a certain date and he wonders if that means he's free of the mess after that day.

On one day he's killed by someone, only to wake up on another, much earlier day, with a note in his book in someone else's handwriting, telling him not to get into a taxi or leave his apartment. Afraid and angry, he instead goes to his taxi job and, somehow recognizing his enemy, takes him out in to the woods where they fight and he wins. We get a closeup of the enemy's necklace, with blue sand in a teeny hourglass.

He goes back home after burning all the evidence, then waits for midnight, hoping that ends the whole mess.

As it turns out, he visited the shop towards the beginning of the new year (I think the lunar new year) and is startled into breaking a red version of that hourglass, with the blue version right next to it. Damon tells him his time is fragmented now and that that shouldn't have been his in the first place. The enemy apparently buys the blue one at the same time.

As I noted earlier, one of my favorite memes is where one has to time travel into the past to cause something to happen in your future. In this case, we could be just facing the main character living the last days of his life out of order, of course. But that doesn't explain what the hourglasses are supposed to do and how they're supposed to be used.

I theorize that the blue hourglass lets the person involved avoid dying somehow and that he, knowing that the red hourglass owner will kill him on March 6th, tries to prevent it by threatening him. Instead, that threat ensures he does attack him.

This one's an open ending in my view. Liu Chang's character might die at the end, since he's killed (or at least attacked) on the last day of the notes. Or, because it is a magic hourglass, he'll continue waking up inside his scattered time and having to repeat everything he's done before. And, if so, maybe he'll be smart enough to work out what's going on and put a stop to that shit. (Being a Liu Chang stan, you can be sure I'm hoping for the last, no matter how bleak it might appear.)

Oh, I don't know if they did it on purpose, but the character's last day is April 14th, one day short of Liu Chang's actual birthday.

Episode 23: My False World, Zheng Tong

Wu Yong and his best friend (Liu Chang) are discussing false memories, where they recall things like a Pikachu with a black tail and Mickey Mouse in overalls. As they go about their day, though, Wu Yong realizes things are weird around him - he feels like people walk through him and like the world isn't right.

In order to determine if his best friend is a false memory, he takes Zheng Tong to the Strange Note's shop and uses a set of parallel mirrors which will only reflect a person infinitely if they're real. Zheng Tong turns out to be real, but when Wu Yong steps between the mirrors he realizes he's the one with no reflection.

As he disappears, Damon tells Zheng Tong that he's now cured of his delusion.

This one wasn't bad, if a bit obvious. One is left with an uncertainty (because of course) that the world Zheng Tong is in is real, but given the whole series is that trope, one pretty much expects it. It's a very short episode, but Liu Chang's whump expression does feature when his friend goes bye bye.