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tjkiahgb · 6 years ago

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Episode Recap: 2.24, “We're on Cloud Ten”

Boy, we’re really getting a lot of Andi and Bex cold opens.

This episode, Andi tries to make Bex coffee, but it’s bad, so Bex uses it to kill a plant. Andi intends to make Bex coffee every morning from now on. If I’m Bex, I’m making a heavy investment in flavored creamer. There’s no coffee so bad it can’t be fixed by dumping half a canister of hazelnut creamer into it.

Over at The Spoon, Buffy and Cyrus eat lunch. Cyrus works in an old planner. Buffy wants to know what it is and Cyrus says it’s a “philo-stax.”

And I’m thinking, “Hmmm, that’s interesting. Never heard of that before. Let me Google that.” And it turns out Google’s never heard about it before either.

I’ve tried like a dozen different spellings, too, in case the closed caption was wrong. (philostacks, filostax, filostacks, file-o-stacks - like a stack of files? Nothing makes sense anymore.) I have no idea what Cyrus is talking about. It seems like he’s invented a word so he doesn’t have to call his notebook a planner.

(Edit: A brilliant anon came through with some knowledge.)

Why is Cyrus using this thing and not a phone, Buffy wonders. It’s a good question which Cyrus never answers.

Amber brings food out to Cyrus and Buffy. She’s warm and fuzzy with Cyrus and surprisingly cold towards Buffy. I really didn’t know those two were in a feud, but, well, there you have it...

Buffy wants to know why Cyrus is being friendly with mean people again. First TJ, now Amber.

Cyrus thinks it’s unhealthy to hold on to such animosity, which is a good point, but then he makes a pun, saying they should call it Amber-mosity, which is awful. How can he be so wise and so foolish at the same time? Thus is the duality of man, I suppose.

Outside of Cloud 10, Bex and Andi hand out pamphlets about the new business. Bex tries out some potential slogans.

Maybe don’t do that. Feel free to pull back and give your slogan some more consideration. You don’t think “Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz. Oh, what a relief it is.” was an improv, do you?

The two head back inside where a potential customer asks them if this is a place to get makeovers and Andi says yes, but in two weeks when they open.

I guess I’m not entirely sure what they’re doing here. You want to promote the business before it opens, fine. Set up on the sidewalk and hand out your free samples and water bottles and pamphlets.

But why are you inviting customers in to walk around a mostly empty store that’s still filled with tools and such?

Why do you want people to see this? Ladders out. Paint rollers everywhere. There are probably loose nails lying around just waiting to get stepped on by someone. Exposed wiring waiting to zap someone.

“Yes, it’s an awful, unfinished mess now -- you know, when we’re making our ever-important first impression on you, the customer -- but just imagine what it’ll be like to get your makeup done here in a couple weeks, when it will probably be much nicer!”

You think this is enticing people? You want people to see your potential paint schemes and your unused wood molding and your... power generator? I don’t know what that is in the bottom left corner, but I will say, I guess it does put me in the mood to come back in a fortnight and get my hair done.

On the plus side...

Oooooh, they got the arches! Just like in the diorama! They look great.

Anyway, enough about interior design.

Celia is in a funk because Ham is on another continent somewhere. Bex wishes for a way to snap her out of it and, as if on cue, Bowie magically appears holding flowers. Bowie and flowers? That’s like catnip for Celia.

Bowie makes Celia feel much better, at least temporarily.

As the sneak preview of Cloud 10 continues, Buffy and Cyrus aggressively make themselves over.

Jonah stops by to ask Andi her feelings on trampolines. She is pro-trampolines.

Cyrus and Buffy walk by in the background and all I can think of is what kind of impression it’s going to make on potential customers out on the sidewalk when two children step out of Cloud 10 looking like they just left a European nightclub.

“What the hell is happening in there?”

Jonah invites Andi on a date to trampoline nirvana.

Bowie asks Celia if she’s heard from Ham and she says he sent her a bowl.

Andi tells Bex that Jonah’s taking her on a date. Bex gets excited that Andi’s moving on to that portion of their relationship. Then she tells Bowie to get him excited, too. Bowie determines that he must be there when Jonah shows up so he can be a stern father figure, you know, as you do.

So later, as promised, when Jonah shows up to pick up Andi, Bowie stares him down menacingly.

Which, it’s great that you want to play father figure dress-up, but you are well aware that this small child in front of you is a little ball of anxiety. You’re the one who desperately tried to help him deal with it! Why are you attempting to make him uncomfortable now?

Thankfully, Andi comes in and pulls Jonah away from this before he can start to panic and they leave.

Bex asks Bowie to stick around and make her lunch. And how could he refuse an offer like that?

Jonah and Andi head to trampoline nirvana and just... trampoline the day away.

They jump into a big foam pit and Jonah asks Andi how she’s so good at the art of the trampoline and Andi says everyone’s good at trampolining. Pfft. Tell that to the kid in my high school who tried to do a backflip and broke his neck and then the ambulance had to come and take him away and he had to graduate in a neck brace. I’m sure he’d love to hear your theories on the ease of trampolining!

Jonah and Andi are having a great time and Andi starts thinking about what they could do for their 2nd date next weekend, but Jonah can’t do next weekend. And the weekend after that? Also a no.

See, Jonah’s going to film Shaz-- er, he’s going to camp. For eight weeks. Starting tomorrow.

Andi needs to process this and she leaves Jonah in the foam pit of shame.

Jonah tells Andi he decided to go to camp a few days ago. He tells her about how he failed to make the Ultimate team but then he heard about this frisbee camp and thinks it can improve his game so he can make the next team.

I’m trying to figure out the timeline again and my brain is starting to leak. I should know better than to go down this road, but... it seems like Summer now? I mean, doesn’t it sort of have to be? Jonah can’t really be leaving in the middle of the school year to go to frisbee camp, right? That can’t be allowed as an excused absence. And frankly, it’s negligent parenting. But Andi was just planning dates only for the coming weekends, like they’re still in school. Also, everyone is sort of dressed like it’s Summer now, too, even though last episode -- which was like, a couple of days ago? -- everyone was dressed like it was very much still Winter (or a brutal cold early Spring). It’s like they live in the Twilight Zone. Time doesn’t exist in this town. This isn’t like trying to narrow it down to specific dates, or even weeks, anymore. I legitimately can’t tell you what month this is even supposed to be. I’m going to let it go, though. One, because it’s hurting my head, and two, because I have bigger complaints.

(Hey, to the anon who asked me why I was angry after the last episode: brace yourself, son. You ain’t seen nothing yet...)

Namely...

FRISBEE CAMP?! EIGHT WEEKS OF FRISBEE CAMP?! Who are the con artists who are putting this on? You can learn everything you need to know about frisbee in an hour and a half! Can you throw a frisbee? Can you run? Do you have enough basic motor function to catch a disc that’s floating softly through the air? Congratulations. You’ve mastered the frisbee. I can’t deal with this. I can’t! Jonah and a bunch of other kids going out into the woods, to a secluded spot by a lake to just throw frisbees at each other and say things like “Gnar gnar catch, brah!” What are you doing in week three? What could you possibly be doing in week three? Setting the frisbees on fire? Blindfolded frisbee catching? By week five, there’s no way you aren’t digging into nonsense metaphysical frisbee concepts, like, “Can one become the frisbee they seek to catch? Let us meditate on this.” There are master’s degree programs that don’t go on for this long. Frisbee camp goes maybe a week. A week! And that’s if you include like, some talent shows or something else to fill the time. But TWO MONTHS?! TWO DAMN MONTHS! I’m dying. And not like, crying laughing face emoji dying. I’m dying. This has broken me and I’m dying. TWO MONTH FRISBEE CAMP IN THE WOODS! Lord help me!

Anyway, Andi hears about Jonah’s frisbee camp plan and says it makes sense.

I politely disagree.

Andi’s mostly just sad about this whole time apart thing.

At Cyrus’s house, Buffy shows up. She thinks she’s there to play a game with Cyrus, like the one they used to play where they made up crazy phobias like Cyrus’s one about puppets. Cyrus says that’s a real thing. I’m with him. You know why they call it ventriloquism? Because it sounds much nicer and more quaint than calling it what it really is: using witchcraft to make inanimate objects speak.

But that’s not really the game they’re playing. The game they’re really playing is “Surprise Amber.”

Bowie and Bex hang out at her place and watch TV. Honestly, who says Bex and Bowie need to get married? They’ve already moved to the “Watch Netflix on the couch all day” portion of their relationship. That’s considered common-law marriage in a lot of places.

Jonah and Andi return home. Or at least to Andi Shack. Andi’s in need of some late night stress crafting. The two are very sad they’re going to be apart. The show seems even sadder about it than they are. This scene is being played like Jonah’s getting shipped out to the Eastern Front.

My dearest Andi.

Morale is low. Some fellow soldiers and I have taken to throwing around a decommissioned land mine and pretending it’s a frisbee just to pass the time. The Winter is bitter cold and the Germans are closing in on our position. I fear this may be my last correspondence for some time. Things at this moment, by my humble estimation, are most certainly not, docious magocious.

Give my fondest regards to the family, and don’t forget to feed Gus. He’s helpless without me

With warmest regards and love,

-Jonah “Weird Yearbook Picture” Beck.

Andi heads into Andi Shack and is scared by Celia, who’s doing well.

Sorry, did I say well? She’s doing... welp. Just... welp.

Celia was feeling lonely in the house without Ham, so she opted instead to sleep in the small, uninsulated shack in her backyard. Celia tells Andi there’s no need to worry, but I don’t know that I would say no need. Celia’s having trouble sleeping since Ham left. Andi feels like she, too, will have trouble sleeping because of Jonah leaving. The two very sweetly console each other over their missing beaus.

At Cyrus’s house, Cyrus completes his transformation into his parents and holds a therapy session between Amber and Buffy. It takes most people 40-something years to become their parents. Cyrus did it by 13. Every teen’s dream!

Also, it’s nighttime now, so he’s kept these two trapped in this room for several hours. That must have been fun.

Cyrus wants to help the two become friends. He first asks Buffy how Amber has wronged her. Buffy talks about what Amber has done to Andi, but Cyrus wants to know how Amber has wronged Buffy, which... Buffy can’t think of anything. Cyrus asks Amber the same, and Amber doesn’t like Buffy because Buffy doesn’t like her. Cyrus feels they are holding on to their dislike of each other and that feeds their dislike of each other. This reasoning is... let’s say, shaky?

But then Cyrus flips out and starts looking for his file-o-stacks to write down something and Buffy and Amber just start roasting him for it and begin to bond. No better way to grow close to someone than coming together to make fun of the person who was trying to help you. Cyrus says pencil and they lose it.

So, maybe Cyrus isn’t a full blown therapist yet.

At Bex’s, Bex has fallen asleep on Bowie’s lap. He tries to sneak out without waking her. He sets her head down on a pillow, and checks to see if she’s really sleeping, then says, “I love you.”

It’s a sweet moment, but also, dude, weren’t you just in another serious relationship like a day ago? Guy moves fast.

Bowie leaves. Well, first he pretends to leave to see if Bex was awake, but she’s too smart to fall for that and doesn’t move even though she’s awake. So then he actually leaves. And I’m not sure he locks the door behind him. Careless.

The next day, Andi tells Bex about her date. She says her relationship is like a Dr. Seuss book. Brightly colored and often nonsensical? Here, I’ve got a Dr. Seuss rhyme for you:

One fish,

two fish,

red fish,

JONAH’S GOING TO FRISBEE CAMP FOR TWO MONTHS! WHAT?!

Andi and Bex talk about things they could do to hang out together. Andi talks about going to Adrenaline City. Bex says they could go tubing or she could marry Bowie. Andi asks if that’s before of after tubing. And Bex asks Andi if she heard her. Andi wants to know if she’s being serious. I’d like to know more about going tubing, though. Please answer if the proposal will be before or after tubing. Please.

Bex confirms she’s going to marry Bowie. Andi freaks out but then asks if Bowie proposed without her there. Bex says no, she’s going to do the proposing this time. Then the two freak out together and do bee-yah bee-yah bee-yah bee-yah bee-yah bee-yah starfish! from like way back in season 1?

I’m amazed they still remembered that choreography.

#Andi Mack #Bex Mack #Cyrus Goodman #Buffy Driscoll #Amber #Celia Mack #Bowie Quinn #Andi #episode recaps

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