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mae-gi-writes · 2 months ago

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sweet like nectar | hyunjae . theboyz | (1)

"Run, run, baby, where I go? Closer and closer to you I'm addicted, I'm addicted to you" - NECTAR, THE BOYZ

In which you and Hyunjae only have 24 hours to enjoy life before it's time to grow up and go your separate ways.

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst, slowburn! teasing!Hyunjae. friend!Hyunjae, friends-to-lovers, idiots-to-lovers au. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

------- part one | part two -------

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"Anything you wanna say?"

You were tired. Every muscle in your system was screaming at you to lie down and get some rest. But the doe-eyed boy before you, it seemed, had other ideas. He gazed down at you unblinkingly, that same teasing smile playing across his lips as he sat, cross-legged, in your room waiting for you to give him an answer that would satisfy him.

It was the last day of university -- your very last lecture had concluded an hour ago -- and you had already packed your bags to head back home. London was beautiful and mesmerizing, but with that beauty came the struggle to get a job, meaning that you had no other choice but to return back to your homeland while your visa would hopefully renew itself. That, or a company would sponsor you.

The latter seemed probably impossible. Not when there were so many other willing candidates with so much better grades than you did.

Which was why your friend Hyunjae was taking it upon himself to act as your makeshift guardian as of right now, having helped you pack your bags for the last two days and ensuring that the rest of your things would be delivered at his flat. He'd keep them for now, was what he'd stated when you protested you'd just be cluttering up his space.

"It's fine," he'd waved away your worries, "as long as I can sell them, right?" and had winked at you, causing you to roll your eyes and huff at the stupidity.

Hyunjae had been friends with you since the start of your freshman year, courtesy of his dorm room being right next to yours. And so due to the fact that your roomate back then had been an unlivable nightmare -- always eating junk food and tossing its wrappers and cardboard takeaways on your side of the room, never doing her laundry and staying up so late you barely managed to sleep -- you'd automatically sought out Hyunjae's room, considering that his roommate was never there. It was the only saving grace from first year, the blessing in disguise that had brought you a friend so special you wouldn't have known how to navigate university if not for him.

And now, in less than twenty-four hours, you were parting ways. Maybe for a week. A month. For good?

You really didn't hope so.

"Do we really have to do this?" you whined as you allowed your spine to rest against the corner of your bed, legs splaying out before you as you watched the sunlight stream through your windows and flicker along Hyunjae's hair.

It cast him in a golden glow, almost making him look ethereal.

Life was unfair. Why was he this pretty? You'd never understand that logic.

"Yes we do," he said firmly, "now come on. You have one chance to let it all out--" he threw his arms out by his sides dramatically, "--before you close this chapter of your university life--OOF!"

His words were interrupted by a pillow -- namely your pillow -- hitting him straight int he face. Hyunjae choked on his breath, falling to the floor and wailing as dramatically as a newborn baby, "man down!" he yelled, "man down! I'm hurt! I'm injured--"

"Shut up Hyun," you rolled your eyes, "stop being so dramatic. Is the driver here yet?"

At your words, Hyunjae stilled beneath the gigantic pillow and mumbled through it, "you're no fun, Y/N. I'm just trying to make your last days as memorable as possible and here you are--rainining on my parade."

"You have no parade going on, hotshot."

Hyunjae growled at you, "and you're no fun."

Giggling and reaching over to pry the pillow from his face, you were greeted with the sight of him, all disheveled and grinning up at you as he pushed himself upright, "so, it's your last day here. What shall we do?"

"Don't you have things to do? I thought you had a shift today."

"I did," Hyunjae held up his phone in triumph, "not anymore. I switched with Kevin."

"I could've accompanied you to your shift."

"And do what? Stare at me serve tables?" then, his lips pulled into a smirk, "actually, I think that's a great idea, you staring me down and appreciatng my--"

You slapped his shoulder and the young man whined in pain, "stop it, you're so not funny. And I was saying that to be nice. You were the one who said that you needed all the money you could get."

"Y/N, one day won't kill me you know," his smirk softened into a grin, "and once I get rid of your sorry ass, I'll be as free as a bird."

You scowled, "you think you can choke on this pillow if I shove it up your mouth?"

"I wouldn't recommend it," a notification pinged and your friend dug for his phone, swiping it open as you laid back against the bed and closed your eyes. Some peace at last. Maybe if you didn't talk, Hyunjae would forget about making the most out of today--

"Right," you heard his phone lock up and forced your eyelids open, "let's go. I know exactly where to bring you."

"I thought you were going to answer that," you motioned for his phone.

Call it imagination, but you swore you spotted something that looked like annoyance flicker through Hyunjae's eyes for a millisecond, before his grin was back on. He was a master at hiding what he truly felt, after all. You'd learnt it the hard way, always having to dig in deep to understand what really went on behind those toffee-coloured eyes that haunted your nights too many times for you to count.

Hyunjae's words brought you back into the moment, "i'll answer it later. Come on," he made a grab for your hand, pulling you along with him towards the door, "we don't have all the time in the world."

This was going to be a long day.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"Oh my gosh Y/N, you should see your face!"

"Shut up!" You wiped at the water droplets coating your skin, trying your best to get as much of it off with the back of your hand and your t-shirt sleeves. Hyunjae could only laugh, his boyish giggles exploding through the otherwise silent room as weird, curious glances were directed your way.

"This is your fault," you were red in the face by the time you managed to wipe all the water off, your scowl so deep that it would've sent anyone running. Hyunjae merely whistled in that cheerful way of his, bumping his shoulders with you before linking with your arm and tugging you towards another aquarium pod, "I think you just got on that sting ray's bad side."

His brilliant idea was to spend some time at the London aquarium, which -- granted -- you hadn't visited despite the four years of living in this place. So far, you were amiably surprised by the variety of animals and species on display and if it weren't for that sudden splashing incident with that sting ray, you would've been quite a happy girl.

"I think you were the one that annoyed it so much, so it decided to take it out on me," you snarled back as you approached the octopus section.

"Nonsense, I'm too cute to be annoyed with," Hyunjae gave you a pout that caused your arm to whack his shoulder in retaliation. He whined in pain, holding onto his shoulder blade and muttering how violent you could be whenever things didn't go your way.

"You're the one being dramatic," you scolded and folded your arms across your chest, your eyes finally diverting towards what you were supposed to be focusing on from the start. The octopus gazed back at you, its tentacles moving in unison like a mermaid under water.

You weren't a fan of anything with tentacles, but even you had to admit that the octopus was beautiful, mesmerizing even. So much research had been conducted on these animals that it was hard not to sympathize with them, with the fact that they were currently holed up in tiny spaces that didn't allow them to grow and flourish as they should've.

"It's really pretty," you murmured out mostly to yourself, though Hyunjae was close enough to hear.

"Yeah," he mumbled back, nose practically pressed against the glass. From this angle, the blue light reflected off the planes of his face and softened his features like a child. Hyunjae looked almost -- almost being the keyword -- angelic, "do you think they know people stare at them all day long?"

"Well I suppose they have eyes for that."

"Yeah but maybe they just like minding their own business."

"I think if you stare at them like you're staring at them, they're definitely going to notice."

"He's so cute," Hyunjae reaches up with a finger, brushing it over the glass pane that separates him and the octopus, "d'you think we can bring him home?"

"I don't have a home anymore, Hyunjae."

His eyes narrowed up at you in a pout, "I meant my home. Why are you being so mean to me?"

"The same reason you're mean to me," you shrugged with a grin, "because it's fun."

You moved on to the deep sea section after having managed to pull Hyunjae off the octopus' aquarium, sending an apologetic smile to a bunch of schoolkids that had been waiting for their turn since the moment he'd decided to stick his nose to the glass wall. The deep sea was scarier, with types of fish that you weren't used to seeing. Together, you and Hyunjae observed the various species, crying out in delight when you managed to match the pictures to the actual creatures swimming in the tank.

After that you moved on to the sharks, where your friend decided that mimicking them was the best sort of entertainment. You couldn't help but laugh as you snapped pictures of him making the same ugly, open-mouthed face as the creatures of the deep end, while Hyunjae urged you to strike a pose so that he could capture memories of you instead.

"Wait wait, don't move--" Hyunjae tipped his head to the side, away from his phone to look at you in annoyance, "Y/N, can you please just smile?"

"Well you're the one taking ages to take one single picture," you'd replied through gritted teeth, a smile plastered on your face with such force you felt your jaw ache with effort.

"I'm just trying to get the best shot of you--"

"Just take the damn picture!"

"Wait--" before you knew it, he'd closed the gap between you, one hand reaching up to brush a few of your hairs back and curling it behind your ear.

The action was so sudden it took you by surprise, causing a small breath to escape your lips. You looked up at him, only now noting the closeness of his body to yours, and Hyunjae did the mistake of glancing down at you only for your eyes to lock.

"There," his voice was loaded with something you couldn't quite explain as he kept on pushing your hair over the curve of your ears. His eyes softened as they met yours once more, the glimmer of a smile playing across his lips, "that looks better."

Your lips parted, "I--"

"Now smile!"

With that, he jumped back and did a pose so comical you couldn't help but chuckle. You held up your hands in a peace sign, grinning at the lens as you heard the shots being taken.

It was just for a brief moment. So brief you swore your imagination was playing tricks on you, getting you to memorize the warmth of Hyunjae's body and the closeness of his face to yours, the gentle brush of his hand. You shoved down all thoughts and feelings that seemed to want to fester, quickly putting it out with logic and rational thought.

Today was just about having fun with your friend, and you were not going to let anything else ruin it for you.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"How long do you think they had to stay like that?"

"It depends," you cocked your head to the side in contemplation, "do you think they'd need the toilet, standing like that for so long?"

"Oh definitely. I don't know about girls. But guys?" Hyunjae scoffed beside you, "there's no way they'd go a whole six hours without peeing. Trust me, I have my sources."

You couldn't help pulling a face at him, "you're disgusting, you know that?"

"Only for you, princess," he winked.

Hyunjae's next stop was the Portrait Museum, which according to you was a complete scam. The Palace was beautiful enough; with curved marble arches, beautiful marble flooring to match and lovely gold-ornated surfaces. The ceilings were adorned with paintings of all kinds of scenes; from jesus's uprising to the european war raging from one end of the corridor to the other. There was nothing to say about the architecture; it was a stunning piece of the work.

The portraits found in it though? You weren't quite so sure.

You walked past one of them now, a gnarly-looking man sitting atop a velvet couch, with his wife behind him looking as dutiful as anyone would in that time period, her hand placed strategically on his shoulder as a way to demonstrate his power, her allegiance to him.

You snorted. This didn't interest you in the least, and you turned to tell that to your friend--

--Only to find him measuring someone's willy with his fingers.

"What the fu--Hyunjae!" you stormed over with barely concealed rage, grabbed a hold of his hoodie before tugging him off it. Your cheeks blazed red as your eyes darted around, glad for once that the place seemed void of people as you shoved Hyunjae forward.

"What in the world were you doing?!" you hissed with narrowed eyes.

He shrugged, "I was just curious! You know, apparently greek gods loved small willy's. It was a sign of--"

You clapped your hands to your ears, "I don't want to know what sign it was," scowling at him, "just don't do that kind of stuff when you're with me."

"Stop being a prude Y/N," he waved you away with a smile, "I'm sure you'd want to know--"

"I do not!"

"Okay okay," he laughed, the sound bouncing against the corridors of the museum and echoing through the room. He clasped your forearm before he pulled you along with him, his hands hot on your skin and sending goosebumps skittering along its surface, "I'll try to be on my best behavior. But! -- No promises."

"Yeah," you tried not to focus on the lingering touches of his hands along your skin, "you--you do that."

You stumbled yet another corridor filled with portrait paintings, this time seemingly of royal families that had taken over the English Court over the decades. Poring over the same boring hairstyles, the same accessories, similar dresses the women donned, your nose couldn't help but crinkle up in distaste as you thought of how uncomfortable the material must've felt. Forget running around in a playground, how were you even supposed to sit in this thing? It looked like it would choke you from the inside out!

Hyunjae found great joy in coming up with all sorts of stories for these paintings. According to him, the picture of a soldier and his wife was that they weren't in love, merely wed by duty, and that the man was actually relived to be heading off to leave his wife alone, knowing that there would be heaps of whores in the vicinity of the battlefield to keep his bed warm.

Another portrait of a woman with her two children had Hyunjae believe they were actually escaping London and that the artist had captured them in mid-action. Their wide, horrified eyes could tell of the fearful stories encapsulated in the aggressive brushstrokes rending the image into reality.

"Aren't you the storyteller," was what you mused, grinning playfully at your friend who seemed all too intent on creating stories out of his head. He was having way too much fun for someone who claimed to find paintings "boring."

"I gotta keep myself entertained somehow," he pulled out his tongue at you childishly before he beckoned you over. This time, it was a landscape filled with lush fields of green. A maiden, seemingly your age, basked in the shadows of an apple tree, her face tilted up towards the sun as she sat underneath by its roots, looking serene and beautiful.

"What's her story?" you nudged Hyunjae's arm.

He hummed under his breath and you took that time to admire him. Sure, Hyunjae was probably one of the most handsome men you'd ever met, there was no denying that. From, the soft bristles of his hair falling into his eyes and the small pucker of his lips to the permanent gleam in his eyes that told secrets held only just for you. He was the perfect package.

How you guys turned out to be friends, you'd never know.

"I think that--" but no sooner had he spoken that his phone chimed. Hyunjae grumbled, reaching for the device from his pocket while you watched his expression contort slightly into one of sheer annoyance.

It was impulse that made you ask, "is everything okay?"

Hyunjae bit the inside of his cheek. His gaze never leaving his phone, you watched his fingers fly over his keyboard.

"Hyunjae?" you prompted in the silence.

"Huh," Hyunjae's eyes flickered back up to your face, "yeah. Yeah everything's fine."

"Are you sure?" you probed as he dropped his phone back into his back pocket with a decisive finality that had you wonder what more he was hiding. His face seemed neutral enough, but you knew him a little more than that, to know whenever something was bothering him.

"Yeah, it's--" he ruffled his hair, a habit of his whenever he was nervous as his eyes quickly flickered between you and the window at the end of the hall, "--it's Jinhee. She's not too happy."

"About us hanging out?" Guilt instantly filled you, mixed in with the pain of knowing that you had to share him. Yes, you forgot for a while; that Hyunjae had never been yours to begin with.

"Yeah, she's...well, we were supposed to go on a date today. You know how tricky it is for her to get days off," he grabbed onto your forearm as he spoke before ushering you out of the museum. It seemed as though your visit had been cut short.

There was urgency in his movements now, a sort of fleeting panic that hadn't been there this morning.

"Maybe you should go back to her," you said as you exited the building. The sun beat down upon your, its midday shine causing sweat to build along your temple, "I don't mind. You've spent enough of your time on me."

"Hardly," he bit back without looking at you, "and we barely have time to hang out. This is your last day here. I can go on a date with her anytime--"

"Hyunjae," you pull at him, making his feet halt along the pavement. Tugging at his t-shirt so that he had no other choice than to face you, you forced your lips into a small, hopefully understanding smile, "it's okay, really. I'd rather you go make it up to her rather than her misunderstanding that--"

"There's nothing to misunderstand. I've already told her countless times that today wasn't going to be possible."

"Then why is she still mad?"

"She's not--It's--" Hyunjae huffed, let out a breath before his hands landed on his hips in exasperation, "it's complicated."

"You're making it complicated--"

"I just want to spend time with you," he cut you off then, eyes boring down into yours with such intensity you felt like you had to make yourself small underneath his gaze, "is that so much to ask? Why are you being like this?"

"I'm not--" you swallowed, "I'm not being like anything. I just don't want you to have a hard time after--"

"I'll deal with the consequences afterwards," and with that, he made another grab for your forearm before tugging you along, resuming your walk down the street, "there are still many things on the agenda, so stop moping and walk with me."

Maybe it was hateful of you to feel a bit of relief, to know that Hyunjae had inevitably chosen you instead of his girlfriend for once. God knew how long they'd been together, having been joined at the hip since their last year of high school, you'd gotten to know Junhee just as much as Hyunjae, though never really managed to get close due to her constant need to steal all of Hyunjae's attention.

Not that you minded. She was, after all, the most important person in Hyunjae's life. There would be no one else that could take that spot apart from their future child.

And yet, part of you was happy that he'd chosen you over her.

Yes, it felt like a cheap shot. You felt like a cheap shot. But it was uncontrollable, the sudden rush of giddiness at the thought that he was yours alone. At least for these few hours stolen under the midnight sky.

For now, that will do.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"This is the best pizza I've eaten in my life."

"No kidding. I still think that the campus pizza was the best one we had."

"That's just because it was one pound fifty a piece."

You and Hyunjae bickered back and forth over which pizza was the best while sharing the ginormous slices offered by the current food stand standing just a few meters away. George's Pizza was what it was named as, its fluorescent green and red letters not providing any comfort whatsoever in its advertising. Nevertheless, after some wheedling and whining, Hyunjae had managed to drag you over before buying two slices under your nose.

The food market was always a busy place, bustling with people, buyers, sellers, the scent of food wafting through the air like a permanent beacon pulling you in all--too--many directions. But that was what you loved about it. There was a certain sense of community, a sense of no judgement, where people loved and just appreciated what others did without hate or complaint. The food market was a happy place indeed.

Currently seated on one of the bar stools paired with a few makeshift wooden tables that seemed to have been made out of crate boxes, you shifted and crossed your legs over the over. Night had fallen and the sky was currently oozing in shades of orange, pink and blues. It extended over your heads, a beautiful midnight sky in the distance bleeding into the evening like watercolors, and the cold air soon seeped into your skin with the night that came with it.

"How much do you think he makes?" you asked Hyunjae as you motioned towards the said pizza guy from George's Pizza. He was red in the face, currently juggling orders like his life was on the line. Sympathy filled your chest at the sight.

"Dunno," Hyunjae's nose scrunched up in that adorable way of his every time he was thinking, "maybe thirty pounds, give or take, every day?"

"Is that a lot?"

"Depends on what you define by rich,” Hyunjae shrugged, “but I suppose he’s happy doing that. He’s doing his thing and it’s—well, it’s working right?”

You let out a soft breath, “yeah, he’s definitely better off than I am. I don’t even know what I’m going to do after this.”

“You’re fine Y/N,” Hyunjae said firmly, “you’re still young. Stop talking like you’re forty-five and past your prime.”

“Easy to say when you’re the one with the job lined up after graduation.”

“Hwy hey, no one told you to go into Engineering when Accounting was a safe bet okay?”

You tsked under your breath, “nerd.”

“Hey watch it,” Hyunjae scowled, “that nerd is going places.”

“Yes, in a ginormous corporation where you’re gonna spend all your youth trying to climb the corporate ladder, only to blink when you’re thirty with no kids, no woman—“

Your friend huffed in protest, “You underestimate me."

Chuckling, you just throw a chunk of tomato you’d picked out from your pizza and he yelped, ducking as the food flew right over his head.

“You’re disgusting.” Hyunjae said.

“Do you really think that you'll be happy being an accountant till the day you die?"

"Yeah," he said it without missing a beat, "why not? You know, jobs aren't like--something that needs to fulfill you. Jobs are just--jobs. They're part of life, and they're tiring. And yes, you'll hate it at some point."

"Yeah but I just want to hate it less."

"Tough luck with that, my friend," polishing off the rest of his slice, Hyunjae wiped at his mouth with a napkin just as you shoved your last bite into yours. He chuckled at the sauce smeared at the corner of your lips and his arm reached out as if on autopilot, brushing at your lips with the said napkin.

The action caused you to jump slightly, having not foreseen such tenderness from the young man. Hyunjae, frowning, was fully focused on wiping away the sauce, "jeez Y/N, you eat like a pig."

Noticing that you weren't saying anything, he made the mistake of glancing up, only to see you already gaping at him like he'd grown an extra pair of eyes.

His hand dropped like he'd burnt it. Looked away.

You cleared your throat, "well, what's next on the list then?"

"Uhm--well--good thing you said that because--" he fumbled a bit with his words, as though this small interaction with you had caused his brain to short-circuit. It was cute, though you knew it's effect wasn't the same kind that you went through with every touch of his searing across your skin.

"We are going to ...drumroll please?" you proceeded to stomp along the table with your hands. Hyunjae joined in with a cackle and burst out, "--we are going to! The! Amusement! Park!"

"What?"

"What do you mean, what? Amusement parks are fun! You said you've always wanted to ride on rollercoasters!"

"That was before I went through that whole Halloween escapade thing where my seatbelt wasn't tight enough and I had to hang onto the rail for dear life," crossing your arms over your chest in refusal, you shook your head at his puppy-dog eyes that seemed to have increased tenfold as soon as the word 'no' came out of your mouth.

"Come on," Hyunjae pleaded, clasped his hands together and looked like he was about to cry, "come on? Pleasepleaseplease. For me? It's our last day? Do you really wanna just--go back to the flat and just--that's it?"

"Hyunjae, it's anything but Amusement Parks," you whirled your hands around to prove your point, "what about cat cafes? Why can't we go there?! Or dog cafes, even better!"

"You know I'm allergic to cats."

"You have medicine for that, stop being a wuss."

"Y/N come oooon!" he grabbed your arm and howled so dramatically a few heads turned your way. Your face flamed with embarrassment. This boy was going to be the death of you. Either that or you'd murder him, "I already bought tickets too! Do you know how expensive they are for foreign students?!"

"No."

"Please."

"No. It's a definite no. Don't you listen to me when I talk? I'm traumatized by--"

"I'll keep you safe from the zombies, I promise!"

"No is a no, Hyunjae!"

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

In the end, you'd had no choice.

Hyunjae was definitely a force of nature, one that collided with every single being and environment and unleashed his magical powers in order to control what and who was around him. He was magnetic, with features so doll-like and beautiful that it was impossible to ignore him across the street. That, paired with that amazingly suave personality, garnered him so much attention back when you two were freshmen that you'd steered clear away from him.

You weren't the type to spend your nights drinking away, unlike most of your dorm mates. Which was probably the main reason why they thought you were weird in the first place. Who went to university and got to bed at nine-thirty in the evening?

No one. No one but you.

So when Hyunjae had accidentally gotten himself partnered up with you for a project in your marketing class -- the only class you had together -- you'd given him a total of ten minutes before he'd start to insult you in that passive agressive way young adults liked to sneer and sneak in comments nowadays.

But Hyunjae wasn't like that.

He wasn't like that at all.

Respectful, friendly and just taking his time to listen to what you had to say, he was the one that prodded you with questions so that you had to answer in order for him to leave you alone. He'd find you in the hallways in-between classes, talking so animatedly about his day sometimes you thought he was just trying to render himself interesting to you, the way baby horses had to make a point about being good stallions. But contrary to what you'd thought, Hyunjae had kept in contact with you even after the project, and when people started snubbing him because he was hanging out with a 'weirdo' and a 'loner', he'd just flick them off with his magical finger, wiggling it in the air for all to see.

You still were curious to know why Hyunjae had been so adamant on being friends with you back then. Of course, growing through university had changed you both. You managed to make some friends with like-minded people you enjoyed hanging out with, and Hyunjae was just the same dazzling young man everyone fawned over. And yet, time had gone by so fast that you were now full adults, already graduated and ready to embark on your new adventure.

Maybe that was the reason you always managed to lose in arguments with him. Maybe that was the reason he was able to push you to do things out of your comfort zone. And you let him. Because at the end of the day, Hyunjae had been there through the darkest nights, where the storm had hit you and broken down every single inch of your confidence.

Maybe that was why you were tolerating him, right here. Right now.

"Come on Y/N! I really wanna get that plushie!"

"You have tons of them already," you wrinkled your nose in distaste at the flurry of bright, neon colored plushies lining the inside of the claw machine that Hyunjae was currently 'oohing' and 'aahing' over. A bunch of primary school kids were just in vicinity, throwing him concerned looks flickering with fear.

You grabbed his shoulder, hauled him away from the claw machine and a five-year-old girl that looked like she was about to cry at the sight of him, "you're terrorizing the children," you muttered under your breath, loud enough for him to hear.

"Nonsense. Everyone likes playing that game," he wriggled out of your grip then, pressing his nose right against the window pane. The small girl had already inserted her coin and was now playing to catch a large pikachu, practically half your size, "you're doing it wrong, girlie. You gotta move towards the left."

The girl looked stricken, blinking up at Hyunjae in fear. Her lower lip trembled, hand shaking on the console.

You slapped Hyunjae across the head, "OW!"

"Shut up Hyunjae, nobody asked for your opinion," you leaned over and pushed him out of the way in the process, "don't listen to him, sweetie. You're doing great. Just make sure to press on that green button."

In the end, she didn't win.

"Right," Hyunjae was first in line to grab the console, "thank fucking god, it took her five entire minutes to press on the button can you believe--"

You swatted him once more and he cried out in pain, "OW Y/N WILL YOU STOP?!"

"You stop, you big oaf. Stop bullying these little kids."

He pouted, "but I just wanted to win a present for you, is that so bad?"

"You could just buy me one and I'd happily--"

"That's not the same thing," his pout deepening, Hyunjae wasted no time inserting a coin. His tongue stuck out unconsciously as he moved the console with practiced ease, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as you watched by his side while trying not to mind the growing queue behind the pair of you.

God, just give him a plushie so we can move on, you begged at whoever was listening out there. You really couldn't stand in the cold any longer than you needed to be. And plus, your stomach was getting antsy without food.

"Alright," Hyunjae rubbed his hands together. He blew on them for good luck and straightened so that he could catch your eye, "this one's for you, Y/N."

And then he winked.

Your heart swelled.

Butterflies erupted through your stomach. You dropped your gaze, cheeks flushing with heat as your friend smacked his index on the button.

What was that? Your brain was rambling, running, scrambling together bits and pieces of thoughts at the wink that was just directed at you.

It meant nothing. No.

It meant everything.

It meant nothing.

It couldn't mean anything.

He was with someone, dammnit.

Get a grip Y/N.

A fucking grip--

"YES!"

Hyunjae's holler burst your thought bubble and before you knew it, a large pikachu was thrust into your arms and you were swung into the air, half-panicked as laughter erupted from the young man holding you up by the waist.

"Wha--Wha--What are you doing?!" your cries were barely heard over the way your friend was twirling you around as bubbles of laughter kept escaping his lips, "Hyunjae!"

"I'm celebrating! Can't you tell?!" he whooped and looked up at you. And you swore that in his eyes you saw stars that made your chest quiver and your heart ache in more ways than one.

He must've noticed your sudden change in demeanor, for his face fell. Setting you down on your feet gently, he blinked as you stumbled back from his hold. You held onto the plushie with both arms as your stomach filled with a tightness that made you want to vomit everything you'd just eaten.

The way he was looking at you wasn't helping. As if there was something more he'd like to say. As if being here with you was something he enjoyed a little too much.

"What's wrong?" Hyunjae asked.

You shook your head, tried hard to keep your lower lip from trembling. When you answered, your voice was a strained murmur, "nothing. I just--I think we should go back."

"Are you okay?" he took a step towards you. You stepped back. Hurt flashed across his face, "Y/N?"

"I'm fine," you replied a little too quickly, "just--it's getting late and my flight's early tomorrow morning."

"What? No no--wait, we agreed that we'd spent the entire night together," Hyunjae was rushing to catch up with you as you started walking back towards the entrance as you felt your heart swell int he back of your throat. It was getting hard to breathe, too hard. So hard that you had to fight against the sudden invisible hand pressing down onto your chest.

"Y/N, just tell me what's wrong. Are you feeling sick? Is that it--"

"No!" you whirled around. The emotions were getting too hard to bear. Hyunjae's face came into view and that hurt even more, to see the sympathy on his face, the echo of worry and concern etched into his features. As if he cared enough. As if.

Chest heaving, you continued, "No Hyunjae. I just want to go back home and sleep until my flight. I--I'm sick of hanging out."

It felt like a slap to him. You could see it in the pain that flickered in his eyes. He took a step towards you uncertainly. He mumbled a few incomprehensible words, before finally asking, "did I do something wrong?"

"No you did nothing wrong," tears suddenly filled your eyes. You turned your head away, "you never do anything wrong."

"Stop--why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?" you sniffed.

"You're lying to me," Hyunjae took a step towards you, causing you to stumble back, "you're always lying to me and I can't figure it out."

"I'm not lying to you."

"Stop that. You're not doing yourself a favor," his hand grasped your wrist, his thumb finding a soothing spot that he kept brushing over as he tugged you a little closer to his chest. His eyes flickered with emotion, dark and molten like lava, and suddenly you felt like you were a little too close for comfort.

Not that Hyunaje seemed to notice. His other hand reached out to wipe at your cheek and it was only then that you noticed you were crying.

"Why Y/N?" Hyunjae tipped his head to the side so that he could get a look at you, so that your eyes had nowhere else to stray, "why are you crying? Did I say something that upset you?" his nose wrinkled then, "wait--it's not the plushie is it? I mean, you could've just told me you wanted another one--"

"No," you blubbered, laughing despite it all. That was so typical of him you couldn't help but grin, "no it's nothing to do with the plushie."

"Then?"

"I--" you swallowed, bowed your head to the ground, "I don't wanna leave."

It took a moment for Hyunjae to register your words. The silence weighed heavy on your shoulders amidst the screams and excited cries from the amusement park.

When he spoke next, his voice had softened to a murmur, void of any of comedy, "I don't want you to leave either."

You looked up. At him, at the way his eyes shone in the dim light of the park. It was dark now, practically impossible to make out his angular features.

"Look I know it's not that simple to just brush it off. You're leaving after all," Hyunjae brushed away the rest of your tears as they now fell shamelessly, trickling down your cheeks and creating paths of glistening wet crystals as his hand unconsciously wound around your elbow to pull you closer, "but no one said it's the end of the world. You can always come back, apply for a permit. Heck, you can apply to other countries and travel all over the world. You life isn't over yet Y/N. It's starting. Just starting, okay?"

You didn't answer, favoring silence as you allowed yourself to be selfish only for this night. Wordlessly, you wrapped your arms around his waist before you buried your head into his chest. Hyunjae froze for a second. His body tensed up, before he melted and hugged you close to him. His chin came to rest at the top of your head as he rocked you back and forth, ignoring the weird looks and curious glances cast his way. He'd rather allow you to have this moment to yourself, this moment of peace and quiet despite the bustling environment.

It was late by the time you two made it back to the dormitory. The streets teeming with people going out to clubs or parties. You lost count of the number of girls in miniskirts and already-drunk guys that passed you by as you walked side by side in silence, taking in the beauty of London for what it was. Hyunjae was surprisingly just as quiet as you were, as if your tears had subdued him, and impulsively your arms tightened around your plushie at the thought that maybe you had made it weird by hugging him. Friends hugged too right? It wasn't that surprising, right?

You were almost at Hyunjae's flat when his phone rang once more. Spotting the way his face darkened slightly, you didn't protest when the said young man tossed you his flat keys and mumbled something about coming up soon. Something told you that it was probably Jinhee, mad and annoyed that Hyunjae had ditched her, and so quickly trudged up the stairs to avoid overhearing any unwanted conversation.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"I told you I was going to be busy today."

"We've barely had any date nights since the start of semester!" Jinhee's voice boomed from the device and Hyunjae flinched back, pulling his phone away slightly with a scowl. He could still hear Jinhee screeching on the other side, "and--what? you decide it's better for you to hangout with Y/N than your own girlfriend? Don't you think there's something wrong here?"

"Jinhee like I said, it's her last day. Can you cut me some slack?" his jaw tensed.

"As if! She's coming back in a few months. Why are you babying her so much?"

"I'm not babying her," anger rumbled through Hyunjae's chest. He loathed it when Jinhee turned into this crazy girlfriend that obsessed over his every move. That wasn't what had made him decide to date her, and this possessive attitude was starting to piss him off, "she might not get her visa to come back. Who knows what method this stupid UK government is gonna use to kick her out of the country for good?"

"I don't care," Jinhee spat, "this day was supposed to be ours. Why are you--" she choked up in a sob and unease shifted in Hyunjae's chest, 'why are you being like this?"

"Let's talk later," Hyunjae glanced back at his living room where you were currently swathed in a sea of blankets. Yes, it was unfair, that his girlfriend was currently all alone and crying over the fact that her boyfriend was ignoring her existence. But it wasn't like he was ignoring her. He'd asked her to come over so that he could spend time with them both--and yet she had flat out refused, been offended even.

"I can't really have this conversation right now," he continued on through her blubbering protests, "I'll call you tomorrow morning okay?"

"I hate you," he heard Jinhee's blubber. His heart tightened, but he pressed his lips together and said his goodbyes.

The line went dead.

Hyunjae sighed, leaning back against the outer corridor in hopes that you hadn't heard anything. That was the least of your worries right now. You were upset too, for unknown reasons that escaped his notice, but your lips were sealed and he didn't want to give you any more reasons to feel bad.

His fingers flew over his keyboard as he texted Jinhee a small "I'm sorry" before walking back through the flat, closing the door behind him with a gentle push as he went.

The TV in the living room was still playing, its volume turned down low as he entered only to spot you -- or rather, your head -- swathed in a blanket fort.

You glanced up as he approached, and something in his heart squeezed tight. He couldn't help but grin; you looked like a child wearing adult clothes, all bundled up and cozy.

Adorable.

“Everything okay?” Of course you were checking on him. You always did.

“Yeah yeah, it’s… fine.”

“Define fine,” you frowned.

"Honestly, I really don’t feel like talking about it,” he slid onto the couch next to you, careful to keep his distance lest he did something he might regret.

After the small incident at the park, he wasn't going to take any chances.

There had been tension, the kind of tension that Hyunjae had wanted to ignore blissfully, a wound that he'd tried to ignore by slapping a cheap band aid in hopes that he'd forget about it.

There was always going to be that 'what if' popping at the back of Hyunjae's mind now and again. It wasn't like he was blind. You were a girl, he was a boy, and you two had the kind of chemistry that everyone envied. You hated his guts most of the time and he loved nothing more than to harass you till you stormed off, all angry and throwing him the middle finger.

Everyone loved to ask whether you guys were dating. Multiple times during your friendship had others questioning whether the line wasn’t being crossed in more ways than one. Multiple times he’s had to rebute that in fact whatever you two were having was just platonic, and that people should be minding their own business.

But that didn’t exclude his own feelings, or the way his heart felt whenever you looked at him for too long.

It was a curse, was what he thought. A curse that he’d be haunted with for the rest of his life.

He even moved on and got himself a girlfriend. Jinhee was nice and kind, quiet in ways that you were brash, cute in ways where you weren’t. And she never gave him trouble. So sweet, so docile, everything that Hyunjae had been looking for in a woman.

But his mind would always come back to you, no matter what. His heart would always tug in your direction, if given the choice.

And he hated that.

The movie ended at quarter past one and you had succumbed to the call of dreamland at that point, casually drooling onto one of his pillows as he rearranged them all to make it more comfortable. He pulled up the comforter to your chin, gently brushing away a few strands of hair from your face as he let out a soft sigh.

You looked so angelic. Like a dove. Like a kid, someone that he’d never be able to hurt.

And Hyunjae would live with the regret that he hadn’t held on to you hard enough. Because you were surely going to find your own piece of happiness. Out there, without him.

Your plane was at seven in the morning, so when your alarm blared at fifteen-past four, you were more than surprised to find that you had dozed off on Hyunjae’s couch.

“Shit,” you muttered, quickly brushing your hands through your thick locks as you heard footsteps pad into the living room.

“All awake your highness?” It was Hyunjae, freshly washed from his shower and looking like a glistening morning angel even in the dim light of the room, “I think it’s time we get a move on, or we’ll miss your plane.”

“When did I fall asleep?” You tried not to yawn as you joined him in the kitchen. He bustled about, popping two pieces of bread into the toaster and placing the butter on the countertop.

“Don’t know,” he cocked his head as you hopped onto a nearby stool, “maybe around one? You were sleeping like the dead.”

“Sorry. But to be fair, you woke me up early this morning.”

“So that you could enjoy your last day,” Hyunjae replied with a pointed look. The toaster pinged and he took the bread out, sliding it onto a plate before setting it down before you, “so don’t blame me. Anyway, you can sleep all you want on the plane back.”

“You’re right.” Just the mention of the plane had your shoulders deflate.

To think that you’d be back on the motherland after god knew how long. And without Hyunjae. That was weird.

You weren’t sure whether you’d spent an entire day without him, the moment you stepped onto campus. He was probably your strongest pillar in this whole world, and yet you were parting ways with him, with no guarantee of ever seeing him again.

“What’s that face for?”

“What?” You blinked in surprise, only to see a cup of coffee in front of you, from yours truly, “what face?”

“That face,” he squinted down at you, “when something’s not good. Like there’s something bothering you.”

“If I can just remind you, I’m going to be leaving soon?”

“Nothing’s stopping you from coming back though, right?” Hyunjae slid into the seat opposite as you both dug into your breakfast, “just apply as an international working visa the moment you land.”

“It’s such a hassle,” you mumbled through a mouthful of food, “I’m not really sure I wanna go through that.”

“That’s up to you to decide, isn’t it?”

You decided to change the subject when you felt the familiar sting of tears in your eyes, “how’s Jinhee?”

Hyunjae visible stiffened. He looked away, “still upset, it seems.”

“Do you want me to apologize on your behalf?”

“That will just make her even more upset.”

“I’m sorry, Hyun.”

“You don’t have to say sorry,” his face was an impassive mask, and yet you saw through the cracks. The way his mouth tensed just at the thought.

You quickly helped him wash the dishes before bundling up and setting out to the airport. Hyunjae ordered an Uber that drove you straight to the first terminal and you were glad for the lack of people there, for who wanted a crowd to see you breakdown for the nth time that day?

He helped you check in, your heart constricting as you allowed him to move your bags onto the rolling mat while you presented your passport to the desk worker. She babbled on about what you shouldn’t have inside your luggage and which gate you would be posted at, all necessary information that flew right past your ears because you were too busy trying not to let your feelings get the better of you.

Your chest felt tight. Like someone was squeezing you out like a wet towel. It took every ounce of your self control to keep yourself from launching into Hyunjae's arms.

Your thoughts flew back to last night when he'd held you close. He smelled good, had a kind of strength about him that made you feel safe. You'd wanted to burrow closer, to stop time just so that you could bask in it.

"All good?" he asked when you got your printed ticket and exited the queue. The place was still void of activity, the only sounds coming from the comforting thrum of the aircon above.

"Yeah, all good--" you were struggling to shove your passport into your bag and Hyunjae tutted, swooping it out of your hold so that you could unzip it properly, "thanks."

"I don't know about you but I really need a coffee," Hyunjae slid the passport in, carefully closing the said bag as you walked over to the food area. He nodded towards a nearby Costa, "wanna keep me company? You have a bit of time before check-in."

"Sure." as if that would make a difference when your heart was already breaking.

The worker who took your order was clearly smitten with Hyunjae's looks, the way she kept on sneaking glances at your table long after you'd gotten your cappuccino and his double-shot of espresso. Hyunjae seemed to have gotten used to whatever attention he brought with him. You? Not so much.

"Do you have to be this pretty?" you meant it as a mutter but his ears were better than you'd thought, for he perked up and asked, "what?"

You sighed in defeat, "do you have to be this pretty?"

"Are you calling me pretty?" Hyunjae snorted.

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"Can't you just say I'm handsome?"

"Isn't that the same thing?" you sipped your coffee and the taste exploded along your tongue.

"No, no it's not. Being pretty is for girls. I'm not a girl--or haven't you noticed?" he flicked his imaginary hair over his shoulder and you couldn't help the chuckle bursting from your mouth, "you're ridiculous, do you know that?"

"Yes I know. But thank you, I'll take it as a compliment," he took a long swig of his drink and leaned back into his chair, "so what are you going to miss the most about here, d'you reckon?"

You pressed your lips together, "I don't know. I think the food. Maybe the lifestyle. I really like living in London. Everything's just so...lively."

That was when your eyes fluttered up, only to lock on his and realize that he'd been gazing at you over the rim of his cup this entire time. You dropped your gaze like he'd burnt you, holding your drink with two hands and allowing its physicality of it to calm the sudden hammering in your heart, "and--well, I--I think I'll miss you a little."

You said the last few words so softly that it probably came out as a hushed whisper. But it seemed like Hyunjae heard you all the same, for something in his eyes softened.

"I guess I'll miss you too Y/N," he murmured, "who am I going to bother now that my favourite teasing toy's gone?"

"Hey," you narrowed your eyes at him as he chuckled, "I'm more than just your teasing toy."

"You're right," Hyunjae grinned and without warning, reached out to ruffle your hair, "you're much more than just that, aren't you?"

Too soon, it was time for you to enter through the gates. Hyunjae walked with you all the way to the separation panel, shoulders brushing with yours and your bag slung around his other shoulder as you chatted about nonsensical stuff. Anything to try to get away from the reality of it all. It was coming too soon, too fast, and already you felt like you were about to lose a part of your heart.

"Well," Hyunjae stopped a few paces before the security guards before he turned to you, his face unreadable, "I guess that's a goodbye for now."

He had on an easy smile that didn't reach his eyes, and that made your chest squeeze with emotion, your throat tightening as you grabbed your bag from his hold and murmured your thanks.

"You'll come back as soon as possible, right?" he asked, lips quirking up at the corner. Yet, you thought you'd caught a glimpse of restrained emotion in his eyes.

"I'll try," you mumbled out. You couldn't look at him, for fear that you'd burst out crying.

Instead, you found a random spot on his shirt, right along his chest, that suddenly became of extreme interest as Hyunjae continued, "don't forget to text me when you land."

"I will."

"And eat a little, will you?" he nudged your forehead with a finger, causing you to yelp, "otherwise I'll have to fly over and cook for you myself."

You'd want that. You'd want that so much that it made your heart hurt. Swallowing thickly and trying hard to keep the tears at bay, you managed to croak out, "I hope that everything will be okay with Jinhee."

"Oh it'll be fine," something in his jaw twitched, "nothing that can't be fixed. And I'll see her soon. Whereas you..." he trailed off, his words echoing around you with a hollowness that had you suck in a breath.

As if on cue, the call for your flight sounded from the speakers, making you suck in a breath and doing the mistake of looking up at your friend. His delicate features, those eyes that made you feel all warm inside...all these things that you would miss terribly now that you were going to be separated by hours and flights.

You felt like crying.

Was this what heartbreak felt like?

"Alright then," your voice was heavy, muffled with a thickness that couldn't hide the tears glistening at the corners of your eyes, "I guess that's my cue to get going."

Hyunjae nodded. He pressed his lips together and patted your shoulder, "safe flight, Y/N."

"Yeah," you nodded back, threw him one last look to etch his face into your memory, before you turned towards the gates.

You took a step forward. And another, and another.

Your stomach was in knots. You felt sick, your throat burning with effort to keep it all inside.

And then, Hyunjae's voice like a soft melody.

"Y/N."

You couldn't stop yourself.

You swiveled around and threw yourself headfirst into his arms.

It was his scent that hit you at first. Musky with a hint of mint and something else, something that you couldn't quite place as the warmth of his arms enveloped you like a cocoon. You all but buried your nose into his chest as your own arms laced around his back and clung on for dear life. You could probably count the amount of times you'd hugged Hyunjae from the moment you'd first met, and this was probably the first time you had allowed yourself to bask in his presence for so long, letting that selfish part of you -- the part that didn't want to let him go -- take over for just that small moment.

Everything felt right when you were in Hyunjae's arms. As if all the evil in the world was replaced by none other than him, his heartbeat beating against the shell of your ear. The soft breaths tingling along the side of your forehead as he pressed his cheek to your temple.

"I--" you tried to stop the trembling in your voice but it was impossible, "I--I'm really going to miss you."

"Me too Y/N," his voice was a caress against the back of your head. He tightened his grip ever so slightly and your ryes fluttered shut.

You didn't want this to end.

You wanted to stay here until the end of time.

Because this felt like home. This was home.

Hyunjae had become the pillar in your life that you made your way back to no matter what. And now, he was being wrenched away from your hold.

Another announcement about your flight made you pull back ever so slightly, looking up as he did the same. You lost breath at the proximity of your faces, your heart stuttering when his nose brushed yours ever so slightly.

You gazed at him with a question. He gazed back, a swirling mass of emotions on display, tenderness and warmth that made you weak in the knees.

He was so close that you could see all the freckles dotting his chees, the mole along the side of his eyes, the way his lips were parted.

If you were to lean in. Just a little, you could even--

NO.

Your arms took a life of their own, propelling you back before you made a mistake.

Your chest heaved. A sour taste filled your mouth at the realization of what you -- almost -- did.

You couldn't. You can't. This was your friend, and he had someone else.

He loved someone else.

A burst of pain echoed through your heart at that. Something snapped inside your heartstrings and you let out a soft, quiet gasp as you stumbled back a few steps.

"Y/N," Hyunjae was reaching for you but you quickly ducked out of the way as you breathed, "I--I'm sorry Hyun. I--I need to go. I--" you turned, already starting to walk away in hopes that it would calm the mass of feelings roaring through your body like a tidal wave. But the current was so strong it made you short of breath. You were halfway already through the door before you looked back over your shoulder, a lone tear streaming down your face.

Hyunjae was still there, looking like someone had punched him in the gut. It made you want to sob, and you clamped your lips together as you spotted a faint smile, a wobbly one at that, pull at his lips.

"Goodbye Hyunjae," you mouthed.

He raised a hand in goodbye and turning so quick so that you wouldn't feel the guilt of leaving him behind, you walked past the gates without a backward glance.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

part two >>

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