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dazed--xx · 2 years ago

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Breathless 2 (Alt. Ending)

Member: Hyunjin x reader

Word count: 14.1K

IDOL CAMEOS: Karina-Aespa, Yeji-Itzy, Lia-Itzy, Jinhwan-Monsta X.

Trigger warnings: toxic relationships, ANGST, happy ending, mentions of smut no smut actually featured, fake texts, mentions of drinking/getting black out drunk, mentions of cheating, mentions of marijuana use, crying, arguments, mentions of anxiety. anything else i could have forgotten.

A/N: So this the alternative ending. So many people asked for a happy ending and my original plan was not to have one but i did make this alt ending for all my fluffy happy ending lovers most of the two stories are the same until the final confrontation. Im still willing to write drabbles for these characters and everything so thank you for enjoying.

Part 1 Original Ending

You were grateful for Felix having come into your life. Ever since your break up with Hyunjin, two months ago, He��s been your rock through it. From taking you out anytime you felt you needed to get away, to cuddling with you and watching a movie, and some days like, today, when Hyunjin does reach out to try to talk Felix is the one to usually urge you to at least get closure. You immediately found yourself wandering aimlessly until Felix picked you up and brought you to the beach. But you being sad didn’t mean you didn’t get out of the ‘closure’ lecture.

“You know....”

Felix trails “You’re going to have to talk to him eventually you deserve an explanation......and closure” you sigh in response, adjusting yourself against the uncomfortable pebbles beneath you. Your eyes trail over the setting sun dancing across the water, waves crashing against the rocks on the shoreline. “I can get an explanation from Ye-na before I get the slightest truth from Hyunjin” Felix flinches at the way you say Hyunjin’s name. He stands in his place almost dumbfounded. “Listen helmet, like honestly, I would 100% agree that what he did was wrong but he looked genuinely heartbroken when you ended things. You should at least hear him out if not for him then for yourself. Wouldn’t you want to know why he cheated?” you shake your head in response. “Why would I ever want to know why?” You growl. “So, you don’t feel like it's your fault, which is what I know you feel.” you force your eyes away from the water “and how could you possibly know that?” you counter. He shrugs in response running his hand through his hair before placing extending out to you “the face you made just told me, but let's get out of here please you know what kind of people hang out around these parts at night” you chuckle in response as you grab his hand “I literally met you right over there” you pointed toward the pier “So they're your kind of people Yongbokie~” you tease.

His face is flat “Dude they're STILL looking for me”

It was your turn to shrug “And? Why'd you piss them off” his mouth hangs open “I didn’t purposely piss them off I just.......slept with the leader's sister......” “And?” you urge him to continue “And he walked in okay!” he responds. You couldn’t contain your laughter, “Wait! He saw little yongbokie!” you struggled to regain composure as you approach Felix’s bike. “1! How was I supposed to know he would walk in she said she was going to be home alone for hours she miscalculated. And 2! Don’t name my dick especially a title that implies its little. When it very much isn’t” you roll your eyes at him. “Suuuuurrrrrreeeee” his face forms a scowl. “What? You want to see? Don’t think you’d be able to handle it” he urges, his hand wrapping around your hair forcing your head back pressing your back against his chest. You squeak in responds your face turning toward him “Don't threaten me with a good time” you tease facing him brushing your noses together before running your hand down his torso making your way toward his waistline before his hand grips at your wrist “FINE! Fine! You won this time okay” he jumps. You chuckle in response “Lixie, you act like I don’t win every time you try to play this game with me”

“You only win because I let you. I have no problems with being a rebound honestly and if I wanted to win, Helmet, you’d have been in my bed the night after you broke up with Hyunjin” He states. “Hmm I'll keep that in mind then” you shrug as he starts his motorcycle. “You know you're quite annoying, even Karina gets somewhat flustered when I talk to her” he snaps. You giggle “Lix, you’re really attractive and honestly at first you definitely made me really blushy but I was with Hyunjin so it was really easy to kind of shrug it off you know?” you state softly. The wind kissing your cheeks. “But, if I ever felt like you know, ready to move on, you’d probably be the first person I'd sleep with” you finish matter of factly. He nods in response “Shit just let me know, I can definitely make you forget all about Hyunjin” He winks biting his bottom lip before hopping onto his bike.

“But it's cold so you coming or not?”

______________________________________________________________

You sighed as you walked toward your dorm’s entrance, you weren't excited for Lia’s questioning on why you had randomly left the dorm, completely disappearing while she showered. You dragged your feet as if they were imbedded in cinderblocks, formulating a plan to make a beeline for your bedroom and locking the door. You regret taking the stairs as you enter the door to your floor, your legs aching. Your eyes not leaving the ground as you continue your path to your bed. Your hands fidgeting with your keys, you let out a loud sigh. Finally lifting your eyes as you come close to your door, your heart sinking as you see your ex sitting in front of it. You consider running back toward the stairs before he could notice you, yet luck was not on your side as his eyes find you and he jumps to his feet.

You freeze in shock, it’s the first time you’ve seen him since you broke up and he didn’t look too good---well he still looked absolutely gorgeous, but you could see the lack of sleep in his eyes. Ghost trails of tears stained on his face, his hair was disheveled and he was still wearing the same clothes from the night you had broken up. Your throat tightens, you felt your fingers tingling; you’re face heated up rapidly. You hated that, even with the pain he’s caused you, he could still make your heart race. You felt your heart ache at the sight of him in pain. Still, there’s a light in his eyes when he looks at you.

“Bab--Y/N....” his voice is coarse “C-can we talk.... please?”

His eyes are pleading as he slowly makes his way toward you. You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, looking toward the ground once again shaking your head. “Y-you need to go...” you mumble. Your eyes notice his shoes now in view, you can feel the heat radiating off him due to his closeness. “Please....I-I just want to talk--I don’t know what else to do. You don’t answer my calls or-or texts. I don’t understand what happened--I feel like I can't breathe” he begs, you feel his hands on your arms igniting a fire in your stomach. You jump at the contact your head whipping to look at him as you force his hands off you. “No.” you state coldly. “You need to leave now, Hyunjin” you shove your way past him to your door. Forcing your key in the lock and turning before you turn back to your ex. “You lost your chance to talk to me the moment you fucked anyone else while we were together. Leave before I call security” “I didn’t--I sw-” his pleads are cut off by you slamming the door behind you.

Hyunjin stood in shock, tears welling in his eyes. He knew it was going to be hard to get you to forgive him but how could he even begin to try to fix things if you wouldn’t even look at him. His heart clenched in his chest. This isn’t happening...... he thinks to himself. The same words that’s been playing in his head since that fateful night. He didn’t know what else to do, he was so lost. He’s never felt pain like this before and he still couldn’t understand why. He knows what you believe but he still doesn’t even understand what Ye-na told you. And when he confronted Ye-na she just laughed at the ‘irony’ as she had stated boldly. He’d spent countless hours these past two months staring at nothing but his phone screen waiting for something---anything in return from you. Losing you was the last thing he could have ever wanted. He knew he should leave; he knew you wanted him to go, but he couldn’t he needed to try. He needed you to talk to him. With a shaky breath he lifted his phone and immediately pressed the call button of your contact. Pressing his back against your door and sliding down.

“Fuck......” he cried as he ran his hand through his hair. Of course, you’d reject his call. He wanted to scream, to beg for you to talk to him; his mind flashed to the way you flinched at his touch. He wanted to go back, back to when he first got his chance with you. He'd change everything, he’d appreciate everything he had. He needed to hold you again, if he could go back, he would have stayed every time you’d ask. He’d show you he loves you, because he did—he does. He wishes he’d realized it sooner, anything to just have you back. He hates that he confessed his love when he did. He knows what you probably think, but he needed you to know. He thought it would reassure you that he didn’t want anyone else. His phone buzzed in his hand. His heart lit up at your contact.

He knew it wasn’t much, but it was something. You responded; he didn’t care it was to tell him to leave. He immediately went to respond, only for his message to be interrupted by a call from Jisung. He sighed to himself as he pressed the answer button. “Hell---Dude, you gotta go home” Jisung interrupted. “What are you talking about?” Hyunjin questioned with faux confusion “I am---no! You're not! you wanna know how I know you’re not?! Because I’m at your place! Dude! Come home, okay? If she wants to talk to then she will but you can't camp out in front of her dorm its honestly fucking creepy!” Jisung exclaims. Hyunjin rolls his eyes, biting his lip. “Fine, just-just stay their asshole”

“Dope, when you get back, you’re taking a fucking shower and cleaning your room bro this is gross and honestly no girl would even look at you let alone talk to you judging by your place.” Jisung whines.

“So fucking leave then!” He snaps.

“See I would, but I’m the hot one now and I just need a second to soak it in so get home while you still look like shit” Jisung exclaims excitedly. And for just a moment, Hyunjin considers murdering his best friend. Scoffing, he quickly ends the call before lifting himself off the ground. He gives one last look at your door before he makes his way back to his dorm, leaving his heart in his place.

______________________________________________________________

Your dance class has been.... awkward to say the least. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, you can feel Ye-na's glare and Hyunjin’s love sick longing stare on you. Jisung still follows Karina around like a lost puppy so you have to sometimes deal with the occasional run in with him. Jisung, as Hyunjin’s best friend, is one of the few that truly knew what was going on in your past relationship. Sometimes you thought he knew even more than you about your own relationship with Hyunjin. He remained polite sometimes looking at you with sad eyes when he notices Hyunjin’s pleading gaze. You questioned as to why he sat here with you when his own best friend sat across the room, not paying attention to his dance partner and focusing on you and only you.

You honestly felt exceptionally confused. Why was Hyunjin acting like this? A question that’s lingered in your mind for days. He had ignored you for the majority of your relationship, only showing interest a select number of times that didn’t involve sex. You were together for a little over a year and if you were to say you didn’t love him it would be a lie. You loved him, you still love him but he obviously didn’t feel the same if he had seeked out another woman. You hated yourself for not hating Ye-na, you don’t know if she knows you overheard her conversation with her friend but honestly, you owed her a huge thank you. For months you couldn’t figure out how Hyunjin had felt about you, and in a few words, you learned that he did not feel the same way. You didn’t blame her; she wasn’t the one that promised you exclusivity so how could you hold a grudge against someone that got played by the same person. He probably made false promises to her as well, so, why the heartbroken pouty expression that wouldn’t leave his features. You feel like you should at least talk to him, but every time you went to respond to him; Ye-na's words rang through your head. Why would he say you guys were nothing serious and then declare his love for you?

You had practically the exact same conversation with everyone beside Karina, who had suggested you talk to him, after a certain violent act pertaining to a very vital reproductive organ was performed; which you had considered but immediately shot down. You didn’t want to talk to Jisung about it so you had gone to Changbin, who also told you to talk to Hyunjin and nothing more or less. You felt like pulling your hair out and you knew you’d regret it but you decided to talk to Jisung, he’d have the most knowledge about everything and you were honestly still to hurt to face Hyunjin so this was your best bet. You let out a shaky breath before you stood up and looked at Jisung. “Hey can you come with me to something from the vending machine in the music department?” It was no secret that the vending machine in the music department contained the best snacks and drinks, the foreign stuff. But you hoped that he would understand that there was more to you asking other than you craving things.

The confused look on your face told you he didn’t catch it, “Why?” He asked, Karina slapped the back of his head “Ouch! Why’d you do that?” He whined rubbing his injury “Because you’re stupid. Bring her genius! she can't get into the department without a music major” She snapped as she rolled her eyes. His cheeks heat up in embarrassment “Sorry” he apologized as he stood from his place. You felt eyes burning on you and Jisung as you made your way out of the studio. You look at Jisung quizzically as you notice him looking across the room before almost crashing into the door if you didn’t pull him out the door behind you. “Jesus, Han I think you’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached” you tease, raising your eyebrow to him. He chuckles in embarrassment as he fixes his shirt “Sorry, I was—Hyu--I got distracted” He looks away as he stammers.

“That’s actually why I wanted to go to the music department. You’re Hyunjin’s best friend you probably know way more than me about---Y/N I told you I don’t know if what Ye-na said is true” He cuts you off. You shake your head rapidly “No that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about”

“Oh” He states in confusion “well then.... what about Hyunjin did you want to talk to me about?”

“Well, as you probably know I still haven’t talked to him about things, BUT the night we broke up. He said something that has me really confused” You explain. “Well....what did he say? I can’t really help you unless I know, you know?” He states softly, you pause for a moment “He told me he loves me.” Jisung’s eyes widen “He finally confessed?! And He didn’t even tell me?! I’m supposed to be his best friend, his ride or die, and he doesn’t even tell me that” he exclaims in betrayal. You snap in his face while he continues his rant “Hanji, Focus. So, you do at least know how he feels then” Jisung shakes his head at you “Oh no no no little lady, Karina warned me this talk was coming. It's not my place to tell you how Hyunjin feels about you. You need to talk to him if you want answers” You scoff “Karina told you to say that?”

“No! I’m saying it!” Jisung exclaims “Honestly Y/N, I’m his best friend he’s not doing okay in all of this and He wants to tell you how he feels and what you mean to him. And as his best friend and knowing how he feels I know he needs to be the one to tell you. You think you’re the only one hurt right now but you’re not. My best friend is going through his first ever break up, and he’s heartbroken. And I’m not making excuses for him, you had a good reason to break up with him he promised you loyalty and he didn’t keep that promise I guess but let’s be real here you know the kind of guys we are. Were you really surprised? You probably thought this would have happened anyway because let's be honest here me and Hyunjin aren’t built for relationships. I don’t know if he’s ever cheated on you like for real but I do know that I wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed if it turns out he did if I were you.” He states honestly, as his hand grasps your shoulder stopping you. “So, what? I should forgive him if he did?” You question. Jisung shakes his head “No, you shouldn’t honestly just cause I’m that kind of guy doesn’t mean I'd say you should forgive him. If he cheated dump his ass and move on you want loyalty, you’re that kind of girl.”

“So, I should......?” you prod.

“Talk to Hyunjin Y/N” Jisung scoffs

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin didn’t know why he had done it, honestly, he knew why he’d done it but he doesn’t know exactly what could come of him messaging Felix; But he knew one thing for sure, he was running out of options. He was losing his mind thinking of ways to get you to talk to him, He knew Felix would at least have some insight into how you were feeling, judging by your social media, you’ve been with Felix every day since the breakup. Your friendship with Felix had always brought an uncomfortable ache in Hyunjin’s chest. He’d realized you deserved better than himself long before you had met Felix, but it wasn’t until after that Hyunjin realized you deserved someone like Felix. He could see that glint in your eye every time you talked to him and it always made Hyunjin feel like throwing up. That is until you had broken up with him and Felix had messaged him almost immediately that he had brought you home, that you were safe and needed time. Hyunjin had realized, in the short time he’s spent talking to him, that Felix truly cared for you so much so that he’d continuously update Hyunjin on your condition. Hyunjin hated himself for ruining things so much that he couldn’t be with you anymore, but at least he had a way to make sure you were okay, at least he had Felix.

So, Hyunjin used his last hail Mary and messaged him to see if he would want to get something to eat and talk, only to be eagerly surprised when Felix had agreed. So here Hyunjin sat, in a pizza restaurant that Felix had picked out, his eyes focused on the cream-colored table. His hands holding onto each other while his arms rested on his shaky legs. What would Felix say? Hyunjin wondered. He wanted to ask your dance partner how you were, if you were doing okay, what you were thinking about when it came to your relationship, did you feel like a part of you was missing too. He couldn’t even touch the pizza he had ordered. He felt nauseous waiting for Felix. His breath was shaky when he heard the chair in front of him scoot out. His eyes slowly lift to be greeted by the warmest smile. Hyunjin could see why you went to Felix every day for comfort, from just his friendly smile alone Hyunjin felt himself calming down. “S-so, uh, y-you're probably wondering why I asked you to come here” Hyunjin stammered. “Well, technically I picked this place but sure I guess, I figured you probably wanted to talk about Y/N you know?” Felix chuckled as he reached for Hyunjin’s soda, “You don’t mind, do you?” Felix questioned, Hyunjin stared at him in shock and shook his head no.

“No-well—yes, I want to talk about her but it's not just for that reason!” Hyunjin explained nervously “Look, I know how she feels right now and I know I’m the reason for that, but I just want---no I need to explain. I don’t know if she’d forgive me, but I fucking hate that I hurt her and I just-I need her back. She was the best thing that’s happened to me and I fucked it all up and I don’t know how to fix it and I hate myself for not knowing what to do right now. In the past I would have just said fuck it and moved on and just forgot about her. ----sigh----but I can’t. I can’t just move on; I can’t just act like she never existed. I love her and I need her to know that. I won't fuck this up again if she gave me a chance but she won't talk to me and I feel so fucking lost without her” Hyunjin felt tears well up in his eyes the longer he continued, soon his eyes never left Felix’s face “and you’ve been so nice to me, you don’t know me and you know how badly I've hurt her, and she’s your friend so you should hate me but you came here and-and you let me know that she’s safe. And I know she’s safe when she’s with you. You didn’t have to do any of this but you did and I owe you a lot honestly and I don’t know how to repay you” Felix’s features twist into a cognitive look.

“Well, the only thing I want, and I think Y/N wants, is the truth of if you did cheat on her with Ye-na” Felix responds stoically

“she’s the only person I'll answer that question to” Hyunjin groans rubbing his temples “If she’d ever talk to me”

“You ever try just explaining”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, genius, you ever try just texting her your explanation and just hope she reads it?” Felix suggests. Hyunjin sat there with a dumbfounded look on his face “You’re a fucking idiot” Felix groans as Hyunjin shakes his head. Why had he never thought of that? “Instead of wasting your time begging her to talk to you and let you explain. You should just explain. If she responds, she responds, if she doesn’t then, well, at least you explained yourself.”

______________________________________________________________

You don’t know what you were thinking when you decided clubbing with Karina, especially for the first time, was a terrible idea. The dress Karina put you in was WAY too form fitting and very short. The music was exceptionally loud, vibrating the room with its pulsing beat and the guys were......eh, from trashy pick-up lines, to just grinding against you while you danced. At this moment, you longed for the days where Jisung would flirt with you, at least there was.... well, finesse, if you had to choose a word for it. If you had to give anything to your ex and his friends they definitely knew how to flirt and get a girl to go home with them, and not due to just their devilishly handsome faces, they had an aura around them that spewed confidence and experience. But instead, here you stood, with a handsome guy yet you felt bored. You find yourself comparing him to Hyunjin a lot. He talks about himself a lot, Hyunjin didn’t do that at least he’d seem interested in you when you guys were together; this guy didn’t. You think his name was Ji-Han or Jin-Hwan or something. When he brushes a stray hair out of your face you notice the couple ring on his finger, you pull your head away from his touch when you feel an arm snake around your waist pulling you back toward their figure. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t touch my girlfriend” a familiar deep voice stated from behind you. The guy stood in shock, before Felix pulled you farther down the bar. You stare at him eyes widen; you bite your lip in embarrassment when you see the scowl on his face.

You think Felix, may be your guardian angel, you immediately wrap your arms around his neck; thanking him profusely. You felt him shake his head before wrapping his arms around your waist lifting you slightly. “You’re lucky you’re cute” He groans before he lets you go and ruffles your hair. “Why you so mad? Wait! Why are you here? Not that I don’t completely adore you but weren’t you with someone?” you question, his cheeks heat up with a pinkish glow before he shrugs. You gasp “Did you get rejected?”

“No!” He snaps, his scowl returning.

“Yongbokie~ say it isn’t so... you got rejected?” You tease.

His arms quickly wrap around your waist and presses your back against the bar. He brushes his lips against your cheek, you feel your face heat up when he places a soft peck on your cheek. “Do you think I’m the type to get rejected?” He nudges. His face makes its way toward your neck, his lips brushing over it gently. You feel yourself growing wetter by the minute. “Uh-I-I-Aww, Helmet cat got your tongue?” Felix cuts you off as he pulls back. Your eyes form a glare before you shove him back “You’re annoying” you groan. He smiles widely, his eyes forming crescents as he scrunches his nose. “You finally reacted though” He states proudly. Rolling your eyes “Yeah sure” you argue. “You did though...” He whines.

“Sure, Lix whatever you say” You deny behind red flushed cheeks.

“Deny it all you want but you want me, Helmet. I know I’m probably your ideal type but you have to control yourself Y/Nie. I’m supposed to be your best friend” He teases. You shake your head at his antics. “You can't kiss me, okay?” he continues. You fake a gag, before shoving him back, and allow your eyes to drift around the room. Though it was just more of Felix’s harmless playful flirting, it still felt wrong to have him so close to you. You knew it was stupid but your heart still longed for Hyunjin. It’s not that you didn’t enjoy Felix touching you, you just wished it was someone else. You hate that you longed for his touch, his lips, his everything. You knew what you had heard from Ye-na but you didn’t know if it was even true. The night you had broken up he said it wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t lie to try to get you to stay. You wish you weren’t so.... fragile. The Ye-na situation had derailed you off track and you’re having a damn hard time getting back on it again. Felix was a great guy, he seemed like the type to be loyal if he was to be in a relationship. Sure, he was flirty while single but you also know that before returning to Seoul; he was in a long-term relationship that didn’t end well. So, who could blame him for enjoying the single life. “Can we find Karina?” You plead.

He nods taking a hold of your hand before leading you through the crowd. “I saw her by the booths before I got you” Felix states. You grasp his hand tightly as you make your way through the horde of sweaty bodies, making sure to avoid any spilling drinks. You couldn’t understand how this could be fun to anyone. You could barely hear anything, there was a cluster fuck of people, and the guys are creeps. You would appreciate the experience but this will not be repeated. You’re pulled out of your thoughts as you collide with Felix’s back. You notice him bent over, laughter spilling from his mouth as he slaps his knee. “Oh, this is too funny!” He cackles as he pulls out his phone and takes repeated pictures. Your eyes follow his line of vision only to be met with Karina placed on someone’s lap, their lips interlocked, her hand pulling his hair. You gasp in shock as they pull away. Your hand smacks over your mouth, “Jisung!” you exclaim as you dash toward the pair “Oh my god! Felix is going to have so much fun with this I’m telling you”

“Fun!? Dude, its already in the group chat. Yeji and Lia are dying” Felix exclaims between fits of laughter. Karina rolls her eyes “What? The guys are absolutely lame here and at least with Captain Thinks with his dick over here the corny flirting comes with a good reputation in bed.” She shrugs as she lifts herself off Jisung’s lap before leaning over and pressing her lips against Jisung’s once more “I’m going to the bathroom” she waves as she makes her way through the crowd. You take a seat next to Jisung. “So... when did, uh, this happen?” you question. “Honestly, I think like 15 minutes ago. She texted me said she was bored. I asked where she was. She told me. I came and uh next thing you know—Ehm- yeah" Jisung stammered behind blushed cheeks. “Oh, so you came.... alone?” Jisung nods. “that’s brave of you, it's pretty boring now I don’t know how you’d have a good time here” you whine. Jisung chuckles “Cause you’re supposed to be buzzed, doll”

“I’ve had like 2 drinks” you argue.

“What? Some fruity mixed drink that’s probably watered down?”

“So, then what should I drink?”

A mischievous smile forms on Jisung’s lips “Shots!”

______________________________________________________________

Note to self: Never go clubbing with Jisung again.

You were drunk.

So, fucking drunk.

He was right though; you were definitely having fun in the beginning. He lived up to his party reputation and you had the most fun you’ve had in a while. After the first shot, you felt warm as the liquid burned your throat. The second you took in quick succession as per Jisung’s advice. Your fingers felt tingly and the burning sensation wasn’t so bad. The third shot came after about 10 minutes, when the room stopped rocking. You had to give it up to Jisung, he definitely tried to make you pace yourself. But shots four, five, and six came and went while Karina decided she wanted to continue more of what they had started previously and Felix had found a friend for the night.

You regret not taking his advice as the room began spinning. You stagger your way out the door after sending a quick text to Karina and Felix explaining you were going home and getting an uber. If was cold outside you didn’t know, your body felt so hot. Your hair was way too long as it tickled your lower back. But in your drunken state of mind, you stare at your home screen you have yet to change and you find yourself dialing Hyunjin’s number. “Hell---Hello?!” His voice answers timidly. “Hyunnie~” you slur. “Babe, are you okay?” He inquires. You shake your head “No...Jisung helped me get drunk”

“He fucking what?!” Hyunjin growls. “Well, he told me to-to go slow but I didn’t it was so much fun Hyunnie. But I miss you so it wasn’t fun” You whine. “I miss you too baby” he confesses “So fucking much” his voice cracks. “I have to go home” you slur, pressing your back against the wall. “Where are you? How are you getting home?” There was concerned laced in his tone. “I don’t know” you shrug to yourself. “You don’t know where you are? Or you don’t know how you’re getting home?” He questions worriedly. “No, I’m at octagon club. I told Karina and Felix I'd get an uber but—sigh--I want to walk but the world is spinning.”

“You’re not walking home” He declares. “I’ll be there in 5”

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin was going to kill Han Jisung. He was as good as dead, not only had you gotten completely fucking blasted by what Hyunjin could tell. But his dear best friend has yet to be heard from. Hyunjin raged the whole way to the club, running almost every stop sign he came across. Hyunjin wanted to strangle Jisung a fuck ton more when he saw you sat on the ground, your head in your hands as you continued to struggle remain upright. Hyunjin barely came to a stop before he was putting the car in park and rushing toward you with a call of your name. His heart stopped in his chest as your head whipped up and you greeted him with the most beautiful smile.

“Hyunnie~!” you called as you reached out to him struggling to lift yourself off the ground. He quickly rushed to your side; taking a hold of your hand before wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you into his frame. He was taken aback when he felt your arms snake around his neck, you press your chest against his. He can’t help himself but to tighten his grip on you. He felt everything stop. Fuck everything about you was absolutely perfect. He buries his face in your neck, he sighs. “Wow! Your hairs black!” you exclaim surprise in your tone.He can only nod in response. He knows it's wrong, you were drunk and you 100% did not want to see him let alone have him touch you but, you were so fucking adorable and he missed this so fucking much that he needed to hold onto it for as long as he could. Fuck Jisung, fuck this club, and Hyunjin won't begin to think about all the guys that probably thought they had a chance with you in this dress cause holy fuck! For this moment, things were back to the way they were before. He hated that he had to end it, but you needed to get home and out of the cold. You were probably so drunk you didn’t notice how freezing it was.

His fingers brushed your hair away from your face, placing his hands over your cheeks. “It's so cold out baby let me take you home, hmm?” He urged. You nod in response. Your fingers played with his as he walked you to his car. You whined as he removed his hand from yours “I have to open the door, princess” he whispers as he softly strokes your cheek before helping you into the passenger seat and buckling you up; while turning to close the door, he feels your hand wrap around his forearm. “Where are you going?” you query, worry filling your eyes. A sad smile forms on his lips, he caresses your cheek eyes finding yours. “I have to drive, silly girl” he explains softly. Your eyes stay connected for what feels like forever. He wants to remember your face right now forever. Your eyes telling of your love for him, the light pink blush gracing your cheeks. You were absolutely beautiful.

Hyunjin contemplates just closing the door and just going into the driver's seat as he feels the familiar feeling of your soft, velvet lips. He holds back a moan at the unexpected kiss, but responds almost instantly. Hyunjin missed this too, the feeling of your lips on his. Your mouths move in sync. Your tongue pokes out from your lips making its way into Hyunjin’s mouth and moan as your tongues connect. A sound that sends a shock straight down and suddenly his pants felt exceptionally tight. He was lost in the feeling, so much so that he almost forgot, you wouldn’t want this if you were sober; but as your fingers gripped his hair and he heard the familiar whines he knew this is where the line needed to be drawn. The last thing Hyunjin wanted to do was take advantage of your drunken state. And as much as he truly did miss how amazing the sex was, he knew that you’d never talk to him again if he continued; so, reluctantly, He pulls away and makes his way over to drivers' side and gets in.

The ride to your dorm was awkward to say the least. He had so much he wanted to say, apologies sit on the tip of his tongue. At this moment, Felix’s words rang through his head. Hyunjin felt as if he should just explain. You were sitting right there; sure, you were drunk and your reaction probably wouldn’t be the best right now but at least he’d get the chance to explain. He could feel your eyes burning into him and he wasn’t sure if you could tell but Hyunjin’s heart was racing. He practically jumped when he felt your hand snake onto his thigh making its way toward his member. Reacting quickly his hand wraps around your wrist “Whoa! What are you doing?” He exclaims. Did Hyunjin want you to practically beg for him again? Of course. But you were drunk and he was probably the last person you’d want to sleep with when sober. He loved you too much to let you do something you’d probably regret. “I miss you...” You pout. His resolve almost melts when he sees the puppy dog look in your eyes.

“I miss you too baby but you don’t want to do this right now....” He whispers. He thanks God as he pulls into your dorm parking lot. “You’re home” he states softly as he takes your hand into his. You stare at your dorm before your eyes drift back to him. He notices the tears in your eyes, your hands are shaky. “What’s wrong?” He inquires. “I don’t want to go...I’m so fucking hurt-you hurt me so bad.” You cried “But I don’t want to go” Your eyes connected; He felt his heart break all over again “You don’t understand how fucking sorry I am. I love you I swear I love you so fucking much, I never meant to hurt you baby. I’m so fucking sorry” His voice cracks as he holds your hand tightly against his chest. His eyes never leave yours. “But we can’t have this conversation right now, you’re drunk you need sleep. I promise tomorrow, I’ll tell you everything.” He promises. Your eyes flash back to your dorm, before you nod.

“Tomorrow...”

______________________________________________________________

You regret getting so drunk last night.

You had a massive migraine and you felt so fucking nauseous. But at least you could still remember most of your night, besides the walk to your dorm. Were you embarrassed? No not really.

Did you regret it?......you weren’t sure. You had definitely appreciated Hyunjin not accepting your advances. BUT were you feeling up to talking to him today? No, and not cause you were still angry at this point you were more confused; but because you were 100% hungover. So, you instead of immediately texting Hyunjin to set up a time to talk, you took some Tylenol and rushed to the campus café. You quickly regretted running as you collide with the petite figure of someone coming out of the door. “I’m so sorry I should have been paying attention” You apologize reaching toward the girl, freezing in shock as you come face to face with Ye-na She went to snap a response before she mouths an ‘oh’ and taking your hand. With a shaky breath your grasp on her tightens “C-can we talk?” you ask shyly. She nods with a hesitance following you back into the café.

The vibe was awkward and off as you both sipped your coffee silently, eyes looking everywhere around the room but at each other. “So, what’d you want to talk about?” “So did you know I was in the room that night?” You both question at the same time. You giggle at the timing. “That was impeccable timing” Ye-na chuckles before taking a sip of her coffee before continuing “But to answer your question, honestly, no. I didn’t.” she sighs. You nod in response before taking another sip of your coffee “Woul-would you have still said what you said if you did?”

She ponders on your question for a moment before she lets out a heavy sigh “If you want the truth?” you nod in response “well then, no I wouldn’t have.” She answers matter of factly. You look at her confused “Why not?”

“Well, the night you over heard me a few minutes before Hyunjin had kinda lost his shit on me. Again. Told me to leave him alone and to stop calling and texting him because what happened was a mistake and he loved you so he needed me to stop” She confesses. “But you said---oh I know what you heard, but he told me that months ago. Like right around the summer, I’m not gonna lie and say what I did was right too Y/N. And even though, me and Hyunjin had what we had. I never wanted to be the one to tell you that. I’m pretty surprised you haven’t lost your shit on me yet honestly”

You shrug. “You weren’t my boyfriend.”

“So?” She counters before crossing her arms over her chest “Not to be a bitch or anything but I 100% knew about you; and just didn’t care honestly. See, here’s your problem Y/N cause obviously no one will give it to you straight. I’m not the only girl Hyunjin’s been with while he was with you. His reputation follows him and every single one of us knew what it was. Just like you probably did before you two made things official. I didn’t care he had a girlfriend, I didn’t care about your feelings, and I didn’t care if you gave a shit or not. I wanted a good time and he gave that to me for a bit and eventually I started caring. I hate myself for what I did but still I never wanted you to find out, especially when we were put in the same class. Like let's be real here no one would ever want to admit to the girlfriend of the guy you're hanging out with that you got rejected.”

Your mouth hangs open at her honesty. You weren’t sure what to say, and while you appreciated her brazenness, you felt your blood boiling. “So is side chick your full-time gig or are you just on call?” you snap. She chuckles, almost to herself before her face falls flat. She crosses her right leg over her left before letting her arm fall into her lap holding up her chin “See, I knew you had some fire in you. Look, you asked I answered what you do with that is beyond me.” Your hangover long forgotten, and a fire in your eyes. “So what? You wanted to just be on the side until you got bored?” she shakes her head “Oh no, I’ll be real here, I saw the way Hyunjin looked at you. I knew at some point he’d realize what a dumbass he was being and it’d eventually stop; but, I was enjoying it while it lasted. He called things off months ago” To say you were now beyond confused would be an understatement, and while her reputation is definitely accurate about her bitchiness, she seemed honest. You heard something you weren’t supposed to, something that set the spark that ignited the flame behind your rage that night.

“So, is that all?...or can I go?”

______________________________________________________________

Yeji and Lia were quite the pair.

Apart from you and Karina, they were absolutely hilarious when they got together, they always seemed to make you laugh; and with Karina completely in the wind and flaking on your group's traditional hangover chill day-the first one in your honor by the way-you were left partner less until Yeji came over with Felix in tow. You and Lia couldn’t contain your laughter as Yeji dragged Felix into your living room with Karina’s matching bright lilac hairband across his head. “Oh, no fair why am I purple? Lia’s green?” Felix whines as he stomps his foot in place. “What’s wrong with purple?” Lia questions “and this is aquamarine” she declares with a point to her headband. “Purples for girls switch with me” He cries. “No!” Lia proclaims.

“Pleeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeee”

“Hmmmmmm......No”

“Pwease”

“How bout no”

“Pl--Holy Fuck! Felix if you say please again my head will explode. Switch with me” You growl, pulling your headband off and holding it out toward him. “Ooo Pink!” He exclaims excitedly. Yeji giggles as she finishes setting up her portable projector. “Felix?” she calls. His eyes are bright as he smiles in her direction “Yeah?” “You’re adorable” She smiles as she makes her way over to your couch ruffling his hair as she takes a seat next to him. He forms his hands in the shape of a heart before separating them and placing each half of the heart on his cheeks. “Ahhh! Felix-oppa! I love you! you’re the best idol in the world” You tease. Lia grips your hands as she joins in on your teasing. “Felix-oppa! Give us a song oppa!” you laugh as you and Lia jump in circles. “Ha.Ha.Ha. You’re both top tier comedians” Felix groans. “Lix, what do you mean? You literally rejected that scout from JYP” You ask whispering the JYP as you release yourself from Lia and make your way over to the couch. “I mean I don’t think being an idol would be for me”

“Oh, come on Lix it was a joke” Lia whines “Yeah besides you could definitely be an idol. You’re an amazing dancer, you got the image for it” You mention. “And personality” Yeji adds. “Yeah! You have an awesome personality for an idol too, your fans would probably call you something adorable like sunshine or something cause of your personality” Felix blushes, bringing his hands to his face hiding. “Stop~!” He whines in embarrassment. You roll your eyes “Fine....so what are we doing first Yeji.” a mischievous smile forms on her lips “Well......” she giggles before she pulls out 4 mics from her bag.

“OH, COME ON!” Felix shouts

______________________________________________________________

“Baby, Nal teojil geotcheoreom anajwo, Geuman saenggakae mwoga geuri eoryeowo Geojinmalcheoreom kiss-haejwo naega neoege, Majimak sarangin geotcheoreom Majimakcheoreom (Yeah) ma-ma-majimakcheoreom (Yeah) Majimak bamin geotcheoreom love Majimakcheoreom (Yeah) ma-ma-majimakcheoreom (Yeah) Naeil ttawin eomneun geotcheoreom love” You guys sang. You laughed internally as you and Felix also did the choreography and ended up facing each other in Lisa’s part of the choreography. You smile in victory as the words WINNER flash across yours and Felix’s screen.

“What’s the next song?” Felix giggles to Yeji. She shrugs “I don’t know it's your turn to choose Lixie” she states as she hands him her phone so he can go through the catalog. You take a seat on the couch with a heavy breath as Lia takes a seat next to you. “I don’t know how that boy has so much energy after last night” you groan. Lia gives a small giggle “He’s not human that’s why” she suggests. You ponder her statement for a moment “True” you both chuckle to yourselves. “But I actually just wanted to see how you were doing you know? You still haven’t really told me how your talk with Ye-na went. Or if you are actually going to meet with Hyunjin later”

You sigh at her words “Well, I’m okay honestly. And my talk with Ye-na went.......fine.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she lives up to her reputation of being a grade A bitch.” You explain “But at least I got what I think is the truth from her” Lia stares at you dumbfounded. “And what about Hyunjin?” You shrug “What about him? Honestly, I was going to talk to him tonight which honestly, I’m not particularly ready to see him, especially after what I did last night....”

“Girl what did you do last night?!”

“Nothing crazy, just tried to get Hyunjin to sleep with me” You groan in embarrassment. “YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?” Lia exclaims. Yeji’s and Felix’s eyes flash to you “Slept with who?” Yeji questions. You shake your head rapidly “No one. Nothing” you give Lia a glare, she sinks in her seat with her hand placed over her mouth. “Y/N who’d you sleep with?” Yeji urged. “No one honestly I just TRIED to sleep with someone and thank god they weren’t an asshole and knew I was drunk” You explain your glare not leaving Lia’s face. She mouthed a sorry before Twice’s Dance the Night Away played through your speakers. Felix jumped as he quickly paused the song “Sorry.” You, Lia, and Yeji laughed at the sudden interruption.

“Felix you’re so cute”

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin couldn’t help but be on edge all day.

You hadn’t texted or called and its almost 5, he felt himself slowly falling into insanity. His leg shaking rapidly as he checked his phone for what felt like the hundredth time today. Why hadn’t you texted? Hyunjin felt his heart racing as Changbin and Seungmin, Hyunjin’s dorm mate, shouted as they played their game. Hyunjin was nervous at how things would go, and while he knew the chances of you forgiving him were slim, he hoped you would give him another chance. He knew how badly he continuously fucked up before but he’d be different. He hopes you can remember how things had changed before you had left him, that you can see he does love you and he’d never do anything else to ruin it.

He watched as the clock went up a minute. Then another, then another before his screen timed out. “Why don’t you just call her?” Changbin suggested pulling Hyunjin out of his thoughts. “Huh?” He called in confusion. Changbin and Seungmin look at each other before laughing. “Call her” The older male suggests. “I have remember? She doesn’t answer” He responds sarcasm dripping off his words. “Wasn’t that before she agreed to talk to you today though?” Seungmin asks. Hyunjin nods slowly “I don’t want to harass her though, what if she changed her mind?”

“Then she’s a bitch for not letting you know” Seungmin snaps.

“Hey! Don’t talk about her like you know her” He warns.

Seungmin rolls his eyes, before focusing back on the game. “I’m just saying she got your hopes up for nothing if she changed her mind, the least she could do is at least let you know that you two won't be talking today and she needs more time”

“You act like she owes him anything honestly” Changbin mumbles, but Hyunjin heard it. He knew his friend was mad at how things played out, Changbin was big on loyalty and honesty. Even though, Hyunjin was one of his best friends it didn’t mean Changbin would hide his anger at Hyunjin’s treatment of you during the beginning of your relationship. The night you ended things whilst Jisung comforted him, Changbin tried to contain his laughter. His ‘I told you so’s’ became a daily routine for Hyunjin. Hyunjin couldn’t blame him though, Changbin had warned him to stop messing with you and take things seriously. Hyunjin could only wish he could go back and listen to him. If he did, he wouldn’t be in the situation he’s in now. You’d still be his. He’d still be able to call you if he just wanted to hear your voice. He wishes he could go back and kick his past self’s ass. Scream at him how fucking terrible it is without you. Changbin was right, you didn’t owe him anything, so Hyunjin sat quiet staring at your contact hoping something---anything would come through from it.

Hyunjin’s gaze was pulled away by Changbin snatching his phone. Panic filled his chest “Wait! What are you doing?” he called as he went to grab his phone back. Seungmin jumps from his place on the couch standing between him and Changbin. “I’m calling Y/N” Changbin confesses as he presses the phone to his ear. “NO! No” He cries “Please dude I’m not kidding----Hello? Y/N? Yeah, its Changbin” Hyunjin’s eyes widen as he can hear your voice through the phone “Hang up! I’m not kidding Hang up” He pleaded tears practically blinding him as he struggled against Seungmin hold. “Oh yeah Hyunjin is right here, yeah I mean it’s a little weird I guess but I don’t have your number so...” Changbin winked at him, Hyunjin felt as if he would combust. “Oh, I mean he’s kinda tied up right now but I could definitely get him to meet you there.” Hyunjin froze in his place as Changbin continued “Yeah I think he’ll be there before that but yeah that works” “What’s she saying?” He whispers, Changbin holds his finger up. “Okay, but you should definitely text me Y/Nie~ who else is going to help me with.......you know what” The male whined.

“Help you with what?” Hyunjin whispered.

Changbin shushed him “Well it was nice talking to you I’ll see you later bye Y/Nie~” Hyunjin stared at Changbin dumbfounded as he hung up the phone and handed it to him. “You guys got chips?” Changbin questioned casually. Hyunjin’s lips parted as he stood there with his phone in his hand, staring at Changbin. “Well....” He urged. Changbin looked at him confused.

“Well, what?”

“What did she say?”

“She wants to talk to you” Changbin shrugged.

Hyunjin’s eyes widen “And you were going to what? Just not tell me?!” He quickly started looking for his keys and wallet. Grabbing a bucket hat and hoodie in the process. The muscular male chuckled to himself as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I was, when it was a few minutes before she said cause, I knew If I said anything you’d race out the door like you’re trying to do now besides you don’t even know where she wants you to meet her” Hyunjin stops in his tracks, “Where?” Changbin shrugs, Hyunjin pouts and stomps his foot “Tell meeeeee” he whines. And while Hyunjin knows he sounds pathetic; he’s not going to waste any more time. If there was a way to fix things then he was going to do it. But with his friend knowing him way too well and you saying a specific time Hyunjin knew he would have to wait. With that in mind, he stomped his way over to the couch. A pout on his lips, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared daggers at Changbin. Hyunjin wasn’t sure how much time went by as Changbin played on his phone ignoring Hyunjin’s death glare.

“Her apartment, 5 minutes” He states with a smug smirk on his lips and a wink.

“5 MINUTES!?” Hyunjin cries as he jumps from the couch and rushes toward the door.

“YOU ACT LIKE YOU WONT BE THERE IN TWO!!” He hears Changbin call as he sprints out the door.

______________________________________________________________

You paced back and forth as the clock got closer and closer to 6.

Your heart was performing a full drum solo in your chest, your palms were sweaty and you felt like you were underwater. While you found it odd that Changbin had called you from Hyunjin’s phone you were grateful for him being the one to actually let Hyunjin know when to come talk. You had put it off for most of the day and after your conversation with Ye-na you were still utterly confused on what the entire truth was. You were happy Lia was willing to hang out at Yeji’s place while you and Hyunjin talked. You were also exceptionally grateful for Karina for having dropped off a bottle of vodka and encouraged you to do a shot; cause while you did feel anxious, at least you still felt brave enough to have this conversation. You weren’t sure what Hyunjin would say and you didn’t know what your relationship would be after tonight. There were two things you were sure about 1. Your relationship with Hyunjin was toxic and things would have to change drastically if you were to take him back. And 2. you still loved him despite the way he had treated you; you still loved him. You poured another shot, along with drinking you’ve picked up another bad habit since your break up with Hyunjin, smoking. And no, not something disgusting like cigarettes but you do find yourself lighting up a blunt and taking a couple of drags here and there.

You enjoyed the calming feeling that came from marijuana. With your anxiety through the roof and having had a panic attack in front of him, Yeonjun from your dance class hooked you up with his guy. For the first day or two, you only smoked with Yeonjun in his dorm. But when Felix began questioning the nature of your friendship with Choi Yeonjun, knowing his bad boy reputation, you began to slowly distance yourself from Yeonjun. Felix found out shortly after about your little habit but promised not to say anything to anyone else. You found yourself surprised when your new smoking buddy became Felix. Only smoking when you felt huge bouts of anxiety coming on and you needed to calm down. Your pulled away from your thoughts as a series of rapid knocks came to your door. You jumped in a panic quickly putting the blunt out on your tongue before stashing it away under a magazine on the coffee table. “Shit” You groaned as you tried to fan the smoke away. You rush to the door almost tripping over your shoes before you pull the door open with a sigh. You stare down your ex as your chest heaves, you notice him leaning against the door frame struggling to catch his breath “You, okay? You look like you ran a marathon” Hyunjin struggled to get out in-between gasps.

“You’re one to talk” You counter gesturing to him. You notice suspicion in his eyes “What’s that smell?” your heart sinks in your chest. “What? Oh, yeah Felix got me into those incense things recently” you lie “trust me babe I’ve been to plenty of parties to know what weed smells like so try that again” Hyunjin calls your bluff. You swallow nothing, you find yourself growing irritated at the smug smirk on his lips. When you were together you would have immediately cracked and probably told him everything, but now, oh now you wanted to whip that smirk off his face “Are you going to keep interrogating me? Or are we going to talk about what we actually need to talk about?” You snap. “And don’t act like you have a right to ask me anything personal right now” His whole confident demeanor is washed away by your words; you notice the panic in his eyes as he stands straight; the smirk no longer on his lips instead there sat a small pout. “Fine...can I come in or is that question too personal too?” You roll your eyes before stepping to the side and allowing him entry.

“Soo, where is it then huh?” He asks casually.

“Where’s what?”

He chuckles at your question “Nothing” his eyes drift around the room. You and Lia hadn’t changed much in the time since he’s last been here, beside the smell of marijuana, it was pretty much the same. He notices the one magazine out of place and glances in your direction. “What? What are you looking for?” You question, irritation leaks into your tone. “Your weed” He shrugs. You two stand across the room for what felt like hours, just staring at each other. Your eyes in a battle with one another, eventually you realize he’s not going to let this go and you wanted answers so with a heavy heart you roll your eyes before making your way over to the coffee table and toss the magazine to the side. “There. Happy?” You groan frustrated before falling back onto your couch. “Ecstatic” He replies sarcastically. “Like come on Y/N you really thought I'd be okay with you doing that?”

“You don’t do weed, Hyunjin”

“That’s not my fucking point Y/N and you know it! Why are you smoking in the first place?”

You couldn’t help but laugh “If you gave any of a shit during our relationship, you’d know I have an anxiety disorder.” You lean forward grabbing the vodka bottle and pour yourself a shot. “I did give a shit.” “What? When I broke up with you? I mean come on” You toss the shot back swallowing it whole “You didn’t give a shit not for a long time” Hyunjin stood in place dumbfounded. This is not how this conversation was supposed to go, but right now at least it was something, and even though he was raging at the idea of you being high right now he had to give it you; you were right, he didn’t know you had an anxiety disorder. Why didn’t he know that? “Look I know I fucked up, but I care about you and I know what can happen if you’re high and just not paying attention”

“I smoke when I’m home or with.... someone I’m not stupid.”

“Someone? Who Felix?”

“No....just...someone”

“Well, someone is going to get their ass kicked so Y/N needs to let me know who”

“Why?”

Hyunjin’s jaw was clenched, you’ve never been this difficult and it was hard for him not to let his jealousy show. He needed to know who the fuck got you to smoke and he needed to teach them to stay in their place. “Fuck Y/N! Just tell me!” He growls, his fists clenched. “No! I don’t have to tell you shit! You're going to ruin my connect. Why don’t you go question Ye-na or any of the other sluts you cheated on me with?” Hyunjin had nothing to say to that. He stared at you with hurt in his eyes “It wasn’t like that” he mumbled “So what was it like then?” He wasn’t sure how to answer that question. While he was willing to answer any questions you had he himself wasn’t sure what it was like honestly. “I don’t know.... just not this fucking picture you have in your mind about things” He grumbled. “You don’t know what I'm thinking right now” You retort. “You’re right. I don’t know what the fuck you’re thinking right now! You've been naïve but you’ve never been fucking stupid” He argued. “So, I’m stupid now?!” You cross your arms over your chest “When you’re smoking weed and getting black out drunk? yes!”

“I wasn’t black out dr----You called me! Just fucking stop Y/N. You’re doing stupid shit and you’re going to get yourself hurt. Bad.” He cut you off. He didn’t understand why you were being this way and whilst he was supposed to be explaining the Ye-na situation, he couldn’t help but be angry at your recklessness. “You’d know all about that right?” you snap. “YOU ACT LIKE I MEANT TO HURT YOU” He shouted. You reach for the bottle again but Hyunjin’s quicker and snatches it from your grasp. “You’ve drank enough for the past two days don’t you think?” He growls as he places the bottle down on your shelf. You stare daggers at him in response. A smirk on your face as you reach for your blunt and put it to your lips “Fucking stop! Y/N”

“Oh please! Look at you, you’re acting all high and mighty. Your hypocrisy is showing Hyunjin” you challenge as you light the blunt. Your eyes not leaving his. “I haven’t smoked for a while Y/N. I haven’t done anything I used to do for a while” he confesses, realizing there were more important things to talk about. He hopes you catch the double meaning behind his words. You sat quietly taking in a long drag before releasing the smoke. “Is that supposed to impress me or something? I don’t think you realize how much this whole thing fucked me up---How you fucked me up, Hyunjin!” you exclaim, quickly getting to your feet. “Fuck please just-just tell me what to do then?! I don’t know what you fucking want! I’m trying and the more I try the more you pull away! You think this shit is easy for me? It’s not! You ripped my fucking heart out too you know? Instead of just talking to me or even letting me say fucking anything you ended things and that’s only because I found you that night!” He growls crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes are filled with fire. “Oh boo-fucking-Hoo your girlfriend found out you cheated and dumped you how fucking sad” you retort “Do you need a hug?” you couldn’t contain your sarcasm. You were beyond livid. How dare he sit there and act like he was an innocent bystander.

“Can you be fucking serious for one minute? fucking Christ.”

“Can you be honest for one minute?”

“What?! You wanna know if I cheated on you?!” He argues, you stare at him with fury behind your eyes “no I kno---Yeah! I fucked Ye-na…..months ago! When I didn’t give a fuck about you or this relationship!” He cuts you off, you notice the anger dissipating from him being replaced with guilt and regret. You’re frozen in place and Hyunjin makes his way around the coffee table and places himself in front of you, his hands firmly wrapped around your arms. “But I haven’t cheated on you in months, I’ve been with no one else in almost a year! I know its fucked up, I know I’m wrong for what I did but I changed.” His voice cracks as your eyes drift around the room, you could feel your anger leaving you as well, whilst he confesses. “What changed then?” you question, your voice is almost inaudible. “You. Well, I wanted to change for you. I’ll tell you everything you want to know but please just at least don’t drink anymore today, okay? I’m not kidding it was really scary to find you like that last night. I know what I did ruined my right to care but I do, I care so fucking much. And I need you to be okay, not amazing, not happy even, but at least okay” His hands find themselves holding your face to make you look at him. Your fingers wrap around his wrist.

“Hyun, I’m fine....”

He shakes his head in response “Now who’s the one that won't be honest? You’re not fine and I know I’m part of the reason for that. I should have been better to you, I was confused about how I felt and I-I---sigh----I fucked up, so fucking bad. But once I realized how I felt I tried so hard to fix things and change and just leave that shit behind.” you stare at him in shock. You find your legs growing wobbly and your chest is tightening. You can feel your breathing getting heavier and heavier the more Hyunjin talks. You remove Hyunjin’s grasp on you and take a seat on the couch, you knew your anxiety would be off the charts. “Ca-can I ask you something then?” You ask, your voice is small. “Anything” Hyunjin sits on the table, you give him a small glare “Is me answering question more important than your stupid rule?” he argues before you can scold him for sitting on your table. “Did I mean anything to you? Like at all? I’m not going to lie I was so fucking confused for such a long time and I’m really tired of it.” Hyunjin’s hand ran over his face before finding its way to the back of his neck. “You mean everything to me....” His words are practically whispers. “So why---I can’t answer that. I promised myself I wouldn’t lie to you so I won't answer that question” He cut you off.

“You said you’d answer everything”

“I said you could ask me anything, please, just know things are different now than they were, okay?”

“Hyunjin I need to know....”

“I can tell you how I feel now, I don’t feel the same way anymore so why does it matter?”

There they were again. The same question he always asked; does it matter? And for once you have a genuine answer “Yes it matters.” He sighs in response, grabbing the blunt that went out long ago from your hand and the lighter. You stare at him as he lights it and takes a long hit off it. You notice the way his hands are shaky and tears well up in his eyes. “Fine, honestly, when this all started, I didn’t really care. ---obviously---just listen. Y/N. I didn’t care and not because of you but because you know how I felt about relationships.” He confesses. “So, why’d even ask me out in the first place? In case you forgot Hyunjin, the whole reason we were even in a relationship was because you initiated it.” You question, puzzled. “I-I know I did, I got jealous honestly...---of who? I was only hooking up with you at the time” You cut him off “Minho and a little Han but mostly Minho” He states honestly. “Huh?” now you were really confused, why Minho? He was your dance partner last year and was the best dancer of 3rd year. But you two were no more than acquaintances at most and while you did spend a lot of time with him last year it was always about dance.

“There was a rumor going around that Minho was going to confess and ask you out....”

“And so, you asked first? So, he couldn’t?”

Hyunjin nods in response, “I know it's stupid, and we were hooking up so I should’ve trusted that you liked me but I was insanely fucking jealous and it just happened. But I don’t regret it, I fell in love with you and I want to show you things would be different. I ended things with Ye-na almost as soon as they happened and—fuck—I know how badly I fucked up. I just want to fix things, I want to be with you, I feel so lost without you. I love you and I’ll make you trust me again.” You felt your heart clench at the softness in his tone. He seemed scared, he kept fidgeting as he allowed the blunt to go out and placed it on your table beside him. His breathe was shaky as he explained. “Would you have ever told me?” You ask “a-about anything?” he shakes his head “If I knew for a fact that you wouldn’t have broken up with me then yes but otherwise, I never wanted you to find out.”

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“Because look what happened when you found out! Fuck I lost you and that was the whole reason I stopped everything with everyone but you because I didn’t want to lose you but Ye-na told you whatever she told you that night and I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t answering my messages and I was fucking panicking because I just wanted to get you out of there because she was fucking pissed. But she saw you first---I still don’t understand how everything happened---all I know is that losing you has been the worst thing that’s ever happened to me right now and I just-I want to be with you. I can be better; I’ll do whatever you want. I can make you happy.” He cried, he held onto your hands. Tears stream down his face, you stare at him sadly “It wasn’t just the cheating, Hyunjin. You can’t say you didn’t act like I wasn’t a burden. I know you said things would change but how can I be sure of that? For a long time, things were…. bad and I don’t want to be hurt again” you state hesitantly. “I won’t—I’ll be better I can help you trust me. I can love you the right way. I’ve never done this before but I’ll figure it out for you. Anything. Please just-just take me back, you don’t have to completely forgive me but please tell me I didn’t ruin things forever. Fuck I need to know you still love me, please tell me you still love me” He pleaded, he was on his knees his eyes never leaving yours. Rivers of tears flow down his angelic face.

Your heart racing, you remove your hand from his, caressing his cheek wiping tears from their descent. “of course, I still love you. But I’m so fucking hurt and I don’t know if I could trust you.” He shakes his head “N-no do-don’t say that please. You can trust me. I’ll prove to you that you can please just give me a chance. I won’t hurt you again” he begs reaching into his pocket and unlocking his phone before shoving it in your hands. “You can go through it. Everything. And you can do that until you trust me again. I will do everything I can to be with you again.” You stare at the device in your hands, you notice his wallpaper. A selfie you had sent him a few months ago from your dance practice with Felix for the showcase. You felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you locked the device and handed it back to him “I-I don’t want to do that. I’m not that kind of person, Hyun and as much as I want to try things again, I can’t do that until I can trust you again.” Hyunjin buried his face in your neck, his arms wrapping around your waist. You felt his tears on your shoulder as he held you. “I can’t-I can’t lose you give me a chance just one chance please” He begged.

“Hyun...”

He pulls back slightly, your eyes connect. Your faces centimeters apart. “You’re everything to me....” He whispers pressing his forehead against yours. “I won’t fuck this up again. I need you” Your bottom lip finds its way between your teeth. You hate how just him being close could affect you so badly. “I-I-I do-don’t know.... Hyun, I love you b-but I’m scared honestly. How can you know that yo-you won’t cheat on me again or something? I can’t deal with being hurt like that again” You profess. “I’ll give you my passwords, you can have the code to my phone, anything---everything I don’t care give me a chance please, you saw that I was changing babe you know I can make you happy. I did once, I can do it again. Better. I love you I want to give you all of me please” He begged. You weren’t sure what to say. You wanted to be with him, fuck you only wanted to be with him. Your heart ached for him every day since you had broken up, but you felt like it could also be a big mistake. You stared at him for a moment, everything about him was objectively the same. He still had the same flawless skin, the same seductive look in his eye; even when he wasn’t trying to have it, the same plush kissable pouty lips, but something was different and you weren’t entirely sure what, and whilst his new black hair had been quite the surprise last night. You knew that was definitely not what was different. But you definitely wanted to find out.

You felt your heart race as you tilt your chin up connecting your lips. You felt butterflies fluttering in your gut as you feel that familiar spark. Hyunjin sat in shock for a second before he responded quickly. His heart soared as he felt your lips mold into his, his hand finding its way to your waist as he deepened the kiss parting your lips with his tongue. You open your mouth accepting his tongues exploration. He loved that you always allowed him dominance in your relationship, never once battling to be in charge. He missed your taste so much his mouth practically watered as your tongues dance around in your mouth. Your fingers find their way into his midnight locks.

You both find yourselves sprawled across the couch, your back pressed against the cushions as Hyunjin straddled you; your legs wrapped around his waist as you devoured each other's mouths. A small moan escapes from your throat as Hyunjin grinds his hips into yours. His lips make their way to your throat. “H-Hyun...” You moan. “Tell me you’re mine” He begs “Please, baby?” You feel your panties growing wet “A-all yours, Hyunnie” Hyunjin could practically cry at your words; He presses his lips against yours roughly, putting every ounce of emotion he could into the kiss. “I love you” He confesses as he pulls away stroking your hair behind your ear. “Fuck... you’re so fucking beautiful baby” you feel your cheeks heat up, you bury your face in his neck. “Stoooopppp” you whine. “No, I’m so fucking happy right now baby” He smiles adjusting you both so you were straddling his lap. His hands find their way to your thighs, stroking them up and down, lovingly. You giggle at his actions, “You’re something else”

“Tell me you love me” He pouts.

“Hyun...”

“Tell me!”

“Hyunnie...”

“Baby~ Tell me you love mee”

You roll your eyes at his whining. A smile placed firmly on your lips as he stared at you with a pout. “Fuck you’re so cute I love you too” you break. A wide smile forms on his lips his arms wrap around your torso pulling you into his chest. “I won’t fuck up this time. I promise baby” “I hope not, I’m really scared still, Hyun” You confess. “I know baby, but I know what it's like to be without you now. I’m not doing it again; you’re stuck with me. All I see is you now baby” He admits shyly. you kiss him in response, grinding your hips into his. You almost jump as you feel his hard member against your clothed core. His hands find their way to your hips holding you in place “Fuck, you can’t do that” He warns. You look at him with a pout. “Why not?”

“Because, baby, you just can’t right now” He states.

“But...” you kiss his neck seductively, nibbling and sucking on his sweet spot; you felt his grip on you grow tighter. “It’s been so long, and I want you so bad right now” You hear him sigh “Fuck...” He whispers under his breath. “Baby, stop, please I want to do things the right way” He can feel his resolve breaking the more you continue. If there was one thing Hyunjin knew for sure, it was that the last thing he truly wanted in this world right now was for you to stop. “Don’t you want me?” you question. “More than anything else in the world right now” He missed you, in every way. Not only has it been a really fucking long time since he last was even able to think about sex with anyone but his hand, but in that time, he found himself always feeling exceptionally heartbroken every time he thought about sex with anyone but you. If anyone wanted it right now, Hyunjin definitely did, but he wanted to do things right this time. His past self would hate him for what he was trying to do without question.

“Please....daddy, I can be so good for you.” you pleaded. “F-fuck...I-I know you can baby, you always are.” He soothes, rubbing your thigh with his thumb “I need to do things the right way with you, this time” His voice is almost inaudible. You grind yourself against him once more, “whyyyyy~” you whine. You guide his hand up your thigh to your hips and under your shirt placing them on your rubs just under your breasts. Hyunjin’s eyes are stuck on your now partially exposed torso, his mouth waters at the feeling the pressure from your hips are causing on his fully hard member. You find yourself growing more and more aroused as time went on. His bottom lip finds its way between his teeth as you continue grinding against him. “babyyyy stop~” he coos, his cheeks heat up and while he’s used to you being submissive and always eager for sex, he’s never had you literally begging for it before. You just took him back and he wasn’t going to immediately just jump back into things like before. But God did he want to fuck you right now.

You leaned forward once more kissing his neck, you heard the groans under his breath. You thrived in knowing how badly you were affecting him. “Fuck….” He growled as he wraps his arms around your waist tightly holding you still. He flips the two of you over, pressing his lips to yours before pulling himself off of you. You pout at his actions “what are you doing?” you question, puzzled. “Taking you somewhere to get food, because someone can’t control herself” He teases with a wink. You roll your eyes at him “watch how fast I reject you next time” you mumble as you lift yourself from your couch and make your way toward your room. “I heard that. Don’t play that game with me cause I will definitely win baby. But where are you going?” He states with a raised eyebrow. “To change I can’t go out in this” you gesture to your clothes. You rush into your room closing the door behind you. You make your way into your closet and grab a tight long sleeve and jeans. You notice Hyunjin laying across your bed, his arm placed behind his head a comfortable smile placed on his lips. You toss your clothes at him “you know I closed the door for a reason, right?” you muse. He nods “you know I don’t give a fuck right, I missed you.” He pouts “I had to go two months without even seeing you, you’re not leaving my side for a while.” He declares.

“I have to sleep and stuff Hyun”

he shrugs “so? You act like I won’t just not leave.” He tosses your clothes at you before crossing his arms over his chest. You chuckle in response, changing into your clothes. “You act like I’d have a problem with that baby” Hyunjin’s cheeks grow red at your words. “O-okay” he stammers shyly. You’ve always called him Hyun, or Hyunnie or on the rare occasion Jinnie but hearing you call him baby made Hyunjin’s heart race. He was absolutely nervous as you stood there, running the brush through your hair. “Y-you ready?” he questions, his eyes roaming over your figure. He groans internally why did he want to do things the right way? Fuck you always looked so good; he felt his heart flutter at your smile as you nod. He lifts himself from your bed as you make your way to the door. Hyunjin wraps his arms around your waist from behind pulling you into him. You squeak as he kisses your cheek. “I love you, baby” he smiles as he grabs hold of your hand spinning you to face him before re-placing his hand on your waist pulling you into him tightly, his free hand caresses your cheek. “I love you too” you press your lips against his. Your heart flutters, your fingers feel tingly.

The love you had for him always seemed to leave you…. breathless.

__________________________________________________________

Taglist: @xxoverthinkerxx @elmi-chan @midsoulz @hyunjintoon

#hyunjin angst #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin smut #breathless #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #hyunjin break up #hyunjin make up #hyunjin toxic #hyunjin #skz angst #skz fluff #skz smut #stray kids hyunjin

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alette-stars · 3 months ago

Text

Over 240,000 words, 45+ chapters, written over 4 and a half years. Blood, Water is complete.

This post is long overdue. I finished the fic over 6 months ago (can you believe it?!) and I’ve been caught up in things offline, to put it lightly. But on the 5th (!) anniversary of the posting of the first chapter, i thought there was no better time than to, finally, put this out.

I really couldn’t have finished this work without all the love and support i received while it was being posted. I know we like to say to write for yourself, not the crowd, but god that support really motivated me and brought so much happiness to my life. And i hope i was able to return some of that to you, through my work.

Well you’ve all waited long enough. Let’s get started!

The inspiration of fic title is given in the fic summary. Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Although this quote is attributed as the full version of the common adage blood is thicker than water, it actually isn’t! It was coined later, though i don’t know by whom. (i actually didn’t know this when i first wrote the fic, but i stand by the quote—it’s great and very fitting)

I think i came up with the title like minutes before i posted the first chapter. I ended up posting it impulsively, kind of. I knew it was gonna be a big project but i wasn’t thinking about my other ongoing fics at the moment, i was so excited and i just had to start sharing this one

The entirety of the fic was written in a Google Doc titled Vampire 8.

Seonghwa’s favorite kaomoji (as referenced in Chapter 11) is (❁´◡`❁)

All the prominent vampires in this have ‘unsexy’ ages, and that’s on purpose. I wanted to do something different from the typical centuries-old vampires. So, instead, at roughly 200 years Seonghwa is the oldest, while Mingi would still be a young man if he hadn’t been turned

Don’t ask about the progression of time in this fic. It went on so long (i wrote this over literal years) i genuinely forgot

I like to write other idols into my fics, and this one is no exception. Most prominent would be VIXX (current and ex members) as the coven essentially in charge of the vampire world, but there’s also Monsta X’s Minhyuk, whose conversation with Yeosang was brought up in Chapter 22.

All our main coven’s makers were named after famous Korean actors and actresses. Ji Sung for Wooyoung and Yeosang, Nam Ji Hyun for Jongho, and of course Kim Tae Hee for Seonghwa. Mingi’s maker is never referred to by name but her name is Nara, after Jang Na Ra.

Author has a cameo in Chapter 6! Cashier staring shamelessly at Seonghwa in his full vampiric glory :’)

Seonghwa’s real-life fits were often used as inspiration, but one was straight-up duplicated. This was of course the teal turtleneck + mushroom hair combo from the amusement park date in Chapter 13.

I did do a little color theming for some characters, but nothing too strong. We have red for Hongjoong, turquoise/teal for Seonghwa, purple for San, and gold for Yeosang.

Another theme i love for all my writing is space. Seonghwa and his planet/star comparison is probably the most obvious. Personally, i have a lot of fondness for the framing of Wooyoung and Yeosang as the sun and moon, and then the addition of San as the Earth.

There have been some questions about the systemic issues in world of Blood, Water that i’ve kind of avoided answering because i wanted to focus on the immediate, personal story. But basically vampires are an open secret in the world that the government continues to staunchly deny. The vampire population has historically been very, very small. Vampire society, as a whole, didn’t exist until recently. Around 20 years ago, the government decided to crack down and eliminate the vampire ‘issue’ once and for all, leading to the hunting days that cost many vampires their lives—including Yeosang and Wooyoung’s maker, Jisung. When the regime changed, the new government stopped the state-operated vampire hunting. The blood den/club business that had always operated on a small scale—accessible only to the most connected/wealthy vampires—grew and even regular vampires (and humans) could get in. This reduced the ‘mugging’ operations less well-off vampires had to resort to, but bred new problems. Increased vampire-human interactions resulted in more turnings. By the start of the Blood, Water timeline, vampire population has started to outpace the blood available at the blood dens. Vampires of a certain level of society, like Seonghwa, are strongly advised not to turn any more new vampires, because soon the problem might get too big to hide.

Technically there is no vampire leader, although the authority everyone defers to is Hakyeon and his coven. But, as Hakyeon himself would say, they’re not a government—they’re businessmen. Anything they do—keeping the surrounding areas safe, putting down dangerous vampires, providing blood and feeders for newborns and adults—is to keep their business running smoothly. Vampire society is officially lawless so, yes, if Wooyoung wanted he could kill another vampire.

In the 4 and a half years from conception to completion of Blood, Water, a lot of things changed. My initial conceptualization of Yeosang was as a cold, dangerous individual, one that you might think would actually hurt San. Early on i decided to go for a tragic angle, so his sensitive, selfless nature came through.

Another change that got made very, very late was Yunho and Mingi’s ending. Don’t shoot me, but i initially plotted a different, sadder ending for them. After Yunho almost dies at the big house by newborn San, Mingi gets too into his head about Yunho’s safety and they break up. They uh don’t get back together. Yunho leaves Seoul for a better opportunity (a job, possibly a dance position—one of those things Mingi could never be a part of). It’d be kind of hinted that they’d get back together, but in the future, after Mingi’s worked through more of his vampirism issues and his anxieties. Obviously this isn’t what ended up happening, but, damn, it almost did. I decided not to do this because things were getting too heavy at the end there haha.

Finally, a not-insignificant part of Blood, Water was the chapter graphics that accompanied every chapter release on Twitter. It wouldn’t have been possible without all the wonderful stock image available for use online. A full list of resources:

Chapter 1 - people partying inside room by Pim Myten

Chapter 2 - Street Night Light on pixabay

Chapter 3 - Silhouette Photography of Trees by Jesse Bowser

Chapter 4 - Orchid Flower Blossom by anncapictures

Chapter 5 - This was a composite of two images that i think i accidentally deleted from my laptop and i cannot for the life of me find anywhere online. I’ll update this if i ever find them, i am so sorry for my carelessness omfg

Chapter 6 - Jewelry Boxes Red Blue by furud

Chapter 7 - Silver and black laptop computer by Jay Wennington

Chapter 8 - Painting Abstract Background by mondschwinge

Chapter 9 - Bridge Night Architecture by nqcoc9

Chapter 10 - Full Moon Night Sky by Pexels

Chapter 11 - Sunset clouds background from the National Park Service

Chapter 12 - Fully made by yours truly

Chapter 13 - Ferris Wheel Night Shot by CloudyBird

Chapter 14 - Amaryllis Flower White Open by Sponchia

Chapter 15 - half filled wine glass beside half empty clear pint glass by Sérgio Alves Santos

Chapter 16 - Glass Piece Broken by qimono

Chapter 17 - Macarons Dessert Food by TheoCrazzolara

Chapter 18 - white pillows by Anastasia Mezenina

Chapter 19 - Daniel von Appen on unsplash. I believe the original image has been deleted

Chapter 20 - Cfl Spiral Lamp by Public Domain Pictures

Chapter 21 - a red and blue painting of a building by Jr Korpa

Chapter 22 - Red rose in dark room by Ben Decoster

Chapter 23 - Cakes Strawberry Sweetness by Alexas_Fotos

Chapter 24 - Nature Fire Flames by StockSnap

Chapter 25 - Milky way by Ivana Cajina

Chapter 26 - Sunset branches silhouette by lovexxpeace

Chapter 27 - Lightning Thunderstorm Night by anvel

Chapter 28 - Chandelier Glass by Tedd

Chapter 29 - Splatter, Blood, Paint by Clker-free-vector-images

Chapter 30 - Clear glass wine by Luke Besley

Chapter 31 - white cushion on bed near brown wooden nightstand by Annie Spratt

Chapter 32 - Blood Moon on a Dark Sky by Roberto Nickson

Chapter 33 - Red Light Behind a Door by Jamal Yahyayev

Chapter 34 - Flower White Wilt Black by bmartinseattle

Chapter 35 - Brown wooden bed frame with red bed sheet by Janko Ferlič

Chapter 36 - An Open Red Flush Door by Kei Scampa

Chapter 37 - two arcade cabinets by Ben Neale

Chapter 38 - Gambling Chance Luck by Ogutier

Chapter 39 - time lapse photography of cars during nighttime by Roman

Chapter 40 - Vine Plant Sprout by ngyuenbuihoai

Chapter 41 - Gold Pocket Watch by John

Chapter 42 - red and yellow thread in needle by amirali mirhashemian

Chapter 43 - Red hibiscus flower photo by Kai Oberhäuser

Chapter 44 - Node Red Knot by moritz320

Chapter 45 - Lighted Brown Bridge by Burst

Chapter 46 - Brown wooden framed glass window by Tim Rüßmann

Chapter 47 - the same as Chapter 1, people partying inside room by Pim Myten

You can find all the edited images in the Twitter thread.

Fun fact: all the images follow the red/black/white color scheme, with one very glaring exception: Chapter 22 (and to a lesser extent Chapter 25)

If you have any further questions (which i didn't cover in this super long post...) you can reach out to me on Twitter or retrospring!

Well, we’ve done it. We’re at the end of this post. Pretty long-winded but i figured if we could power through 240k words of the fic, we can survive a few paragraphs of my rambling. Thank you all again, so, so much, for all the love and support you’ve given my work. I really could never have done it without you. It was an honor and a blessing to go on this journey with you, and i wouldn’t give it up for anything.

So what’s next? Keen readers might’ve noticed Blood, Water is part of a series, titled Ties of Blood and Silver. I do have plans for a direct sequel. Yes, our vampire boys will be back! With new challenges, new angst, and even new relationships. I’m organizing shit in my real life so it won’t be starting immediately, but you can all look forward to it! Until then, thank you, i love you, and see you all around ♡

#blood water #fic #my fic

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darl-ingfics · 4 months ago

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Hello!

Welcome! Happy to see you 😊

This side-blog had been a many-years-in-the-making sort of things for me; I've been a sickfic and hurt/comfort fan for years, yet everything I wrote was always just for my eyes only, or rarely/heavily edited when published. But the more I've begun to explore this genre, the idea of making this blog a reality became, well, a reality. And here we are.

What to Know About Me:

She/her

Born in '95

Literature nerd, avid dancer, and certified Disney adult

I've been a Kpop fan since 2018! I am currently an incredibly proud Carat, EXO-L, and Shawol. And I have a Dino photo card in the holder of my EXO light stick cause I still haven't pulled a photo card of Xiumin yet, and that Dino card is my current favorite 😂

Masterlist

Requests are: OPEN

Current Requests (to be fulfilled in any order, as the muse decides):

SVT - BSS, flu

SVT - OT10, flu, caretaker Maknae line

My Current Fics in the Works:

SVT - everyone. "what can go wrong, will go wrong"

EXO - Suho, cold, Jongin caretaker (and h/c whumpee!) "Dispatch ruined everything!"

SHINee - Onew, flu, ot4 caretaker (but also, there's a ton of SM cameos...). "We're in trouble." "What kind of trouble?" "The incident..."

ATEEZ - Hongjoong + ?, continuation of Sicktember Day 10

Groups I Stan and Will Write For: Seventeen (Joshua bias), EXO (Xiumin bias), SHINee (Onew bias), BTS (Jungkook bias)

Groups in my Stan Orbit: ATEEZ (Seonghwa bias) [I'm still learning member personalities and dynamics, but we are almost there!]

Groups I Enjoy Listening to, but Probably Won't Write For: Stray Kids (Han bias), Red Velvet (Seulgi bias), Mamamoo (Moonbyul bias), f(x) (Luna bias), Monsta X (Kihyun bias), NCT (Doyoung bias)

Groups I Casually Listen to: Girls Generation, Aespa, Blackpink, (G)I-dle, Got7

Chances are good I'll throw in some anime pieces too, cause I have A TON of those in the back logs. You will primarily see content for Haikyuu and Attack on Titan for those pieces.

What I Will Write: General illness; snz (to a degree, we’re figuring it out); hurt/comfort; some emeto

What I Won’t Write: allergy snz (not it for me, folks); graphic emeto; scat; major illness or character d/eath; non-con anything; NSFW sexy times; age regression

A Reminder: All writings published on this blog in any Kpop fandom are strictly based on my perceptions of the personas presented by the idols. These are real people, and absolutely nothing on here is a true representation of these artists as individuals. These fics are manifestations of my enjoyment of these artists in a medium that I find creatively rewarding, but the maintenance of the line between fiction and fact is a necessary part of these creations.

Feel free to pop in my asks anytime! Thanks for reading!

(Follows and Likes as pretty-eyes-jaeger)

#about me #kpop sickfic #kpop comfort fic #kpop fics

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atiny-piratequeen · 1 year ago

Note

What other groups do you intend to monster out? Im really enjoying this universe so much if you do a group Idk Id probably learn who they are just to read lol

You have no idea how much "id probably learn who they are just to read" means to my multi ass. I dont have any like, grandiose plans for any other groups in atx for now but i have seen some folks interested in comming other groups into this verse and the only ones confirmed that I've put in with my world building besides the teezers so far are:

Monsta X: (Hoseok)

Red Velvet: (Seulgi)

Stray Kids: (Minho, mentions of ot8)

Txt: (Yeonjun, Soobin-mentions of ot5)

Dreamcatcher: (Gahyeon, so far)

To be honest as a multi my favorite thing is to put in lil cameos from other groups i stan so if this is a verse that will continue to grow, undoubtedly my self control will spiral again and there will def be more lol

#asks #anontiny #atx asks

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hello-there-bonjour · 5 years ago

Conversation

Matthew *after going to the gym with Hyunwoo ad Wonho*: Can you turn gay?

Matthew: Like... can overexposure to abs turn you gay?

Matthew: I was pretty sure I was straight but... god

Matthew: I don't know anymore

#kard #monsta x cameo #this might have happened you know #abs are magical objects #bm kard

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lemonjoonah · 6 years ago

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Under Fire - Pt 13

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Title: Under Fire Word Count: 6K+ Rating: M Genre: Gang AU/ Mafia AU, Drama Warnings: Violence, Minor Character Death Pairings: Hyung Line x Reader (Primarily Namjoon x Reader), very slight OT7 x Reader. Pairings (in this chapter): Jin x Reader, Namjoon x Reader

Summary: As a child you lived among the most wealthy and powerful, after the death of your mother you were shipped off to stay with her sister. Even after finishing your education you continue to live apart from the elite, but a visit home creates an unexpected disaster. You are suddenly roped into a darker world, and who better to be your guide than the infamous gang known as BTS.

Chapter 13 - Consorting with Monsters

POV (Y/N)

“That was quite the entrance Miss Park.” The coldness of Hyungwon’s tone is a drastic change compared to the greeting he had given you before.

You cough on the dust trying to catch your breath after the fall.

“Wait, the Park (Y/N)?”

“That depends,” You gasp. “Who’s asking?”

“What are you still doing here? EXO is in the building.”

You find their concern oddly placed as they dodge your question. “You think I haven’t noticed? First why don’t you tell me who the hell you are.” You look to Hyungwon, “You obviously had an ulterior motive for meeting with Henry.” You anger from find the truth about Henry seeps out. You know you should be afraid, that you should probably try and make a run for it. But no one has pulled a gun, none of them have tried to advance on you, or take you down. They actually seem just a stunned by the situation as you are.

The taller, bear like man speaks, “Monsta X, Henry was just our way in, we’re here following a trail of our own..”

Henry seems to be letting a lot of people in lately...“Never heard of you.”

“Ouch.” Retorts one of the members. “You may not have heard of us but our world seems to be fascinated by the anomaly of you. There have been a few rumours...”

“That you don’t give a shit about making money...”

“You care even less about keeping you own.”

“They call you incorruptible.”

You scoff, “Lame nickname.”

They redirect the conversation back to you leaving, “You have to go it’s not safe for you here.”

Why do they want you to flee so badly? Do they not see you as an enemy?

“Actually It’s probably safer for me to stay... with most of EXO outside.” You have several blank stares pointing in your direction.

“But Henry went to find you...”

“He locked me in a closet and lead EXO right to me... that bastard is one of them. I wasn’t crawling around in the ceiling out of convenience. I had to get away from him.” You lash out unable to keep your anger under wraps any longer.

“I knew something was off. Someone hacked us from this location a couple of weeks ago. They wanted us to think it was BTS trying to hack our server. I couldn’t shake the feeling that the style was very similar to...”

“Chanyeol’s?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

You have no immediate plans to divulge that he had hacked you too, Chanyeol must have accessed both systems on the same night. “I created a trace for Chanyeol’s tag it just located Henry’s IP as a past access point. Speaking of which I need to get on to that computer.”

“No way, this was our lead first.”

“And that computer is my property,” As you step towards the computer they start to move on you. You back down realize the stupidity of arguing when outnumbered. “Fine, but if you can’t gain access in two minutes, I’m taking over.” It seems like all they want is the same data that you came for. You’ll have to use this to your advantage, maybe even cut a deal with...

It strikes you, that’s exactly what they want... the reason they are here is the same reason BTS is currently backing up VIXX. They want a deal for the accords, but in order for that to happen they knew you would have evade EXO and escape too. Now this is something you can work with, “Do you have an exit strategy in place now that EXO is here?”

“I’m sure we can figure something out.”

You laugh at their arrogance. “Right... how can we be sure that they don’t know that we’re here right now?”

“Froze the cameras on this floor.”

That’ll give you some time then, you reach for your phone off the floor and proceed to dial the last missed call.

POV IM

Two minutes to hack into this system. A difficult job under the best circumstances but now I have you distracting me too.

I can see you from the corner of my eye as you turn your attention to the phone that had given away your location. The instant you hit dial someone must have picked up on the other end. I listen in while continuing to try to find a backdoor in the system.

“I’m fine, is everyone there okay?... Status...Uhh... It’s a little complicated. I’m still in the building, Henry’s office to be exact.”

You hold the phone away ear anticipating the response, a good call considering it’s so loud that I can hear it easily.

“What the hell are you still doing there? If Henry’s compromised you should be trying to get out!”

“Relax EXO thinks that I’ve already escaped. They’re outside looking for me. They won’t think to look in here. Henry and Chanyeol used this computer, they might have left some valuable information. I can’t let them wipe it.”

You know how to hold your ground I’ll give you that. You turn away from us to whisper the next part into the receiver. I can only vaguely here the name Monsta X. You hold the phone away from your ear again.

“Fire so help me god, you are never leaving the manor again!”

“Well I wouldn’t have crashed into them if someone had just replied sooner.” You seethe back. “Right now we have the same goal.” You turn to Shownu. “Where’s your ride?”

“On a side street two blocks east of here.”

“We are going to need the east side clear. I’ll give you a signal when we’re ready to exit... No it’s better if we go unnoticed, if you send anyone inside they’ll figure out I’m still here... He is?”

You walk over to the window and look to the building opsite.

“No, tell Suga if he takes a single unprovoked shot at them, I’ll make sure that he’ll never be able to afford another bullet.”

I quake a little knowing that your sniper is watching. You turn back to me holding up five fingers, then four.

“I need you to put JK on the line.”

Three fingers, now two.

“Because he is going to walk me through a hack.”

One... You look me dead in the eye. “My turn.”

POV RM

I pass the phone to JK at the back of the SUV. He’s confused at first but as you start speaking his eyes light up and he pulls out a laptop begins to type furiously. We had just dropped off Suga and J-Hope and are now pulling off near your directed exit.

“Everyone keep and eye out EXO is on the ground outside. We’ll clear a path and wait for her signal.”

If anything happens to you... I punch the door next to me hoping to ease my building rage. Jin sits next to me in silence. I expect a comment from him regarding my outburst, but it seems that his concern is overwhelming him too.

V and Jimin had to hold me back from J-Hope when I read your text. Claiming that it wouldn’t help the situation.... I beg to differ. If hadn’t sent him with Suga he would have taken the doors place. Regardless of what you’ve planned, if you aren’t out in fifteen minutes I’m going in there after you.

POV (Y/N)

“JK I need access to Henry’s computer, do you think you can get me on from there?”

“I’ve hacked your foundation once before. This should be easy, it’s my system after all.”

The man next to you speaks up. “It’s not so simple, he's installed an additional login in protocol for a hidden account. If it detects any intrusion it wipes the hard drive”

“Did you hear that JK?’

“Yeah, let me think.”

“What about the main frame? If you send out software and security updates is his computer included?”

“Yes, that might work! I’ll create a dropnet override, that’ll redirect the data elsewhere, catching it, when the system tries to delete it after a forced entry. Once it’s backed up we should have access to it. It’s an easy safety protocol but we’ll only have one shot at this.

You tap your fingers anxiously on the mouse, while waiting for JK to generate the necessary code. Your eyes stay on the screen not wanting to lock eyes with the men currently watching you.

“Update sent, restart the computer and lock it down.”

The process only takes a minute, two failed attempts and the hidden account vanishes.

“The backup file should be in the admin account on that computer now. New password is Foxtrot, Uniform, Hotel, Echo, November, Romeo, Yankee.”

You chuckle at what he spells out. “I’m in thanks JK.” You hang up the phone, and hold out your hand to the man next to you. “Hard drive?”

The man next to you looks at you with frustration.

“Just give it to her Jooheon.” Another scorns. “No need to sulk about it.”

He reluctantly hands it over. The volume of files stored on the computer is surprising low, but you’re more interested in the server connections. It should only take you a few minutes. You lean back in the computer chair watching them discuss their plan of escape.

“Anyone going to introduce themselves while we wait?”

They look taken aback at your ease.

The man who had introduced them as Monsta X takes the responsibility pointing to each member in turn. “I’m Shownu this is Wonho, Minhyuk, and Kihyun. You already know Hyungwon, and the so called hackers next to you are Jooheon and IM.”

“Thanks for the confidence boost Leader...” IM replies.

As the download finishes Jooheon makes a grab for the hard drive, but you beat him to it.

“That’s my hard drive.”

“The contents belong to me and they’re far more valuable than your equipment.” You pull out a wad of bills from your pocket and place them in his outstretched hand. “Here buy yourself a new one.” You tuck the hard drive into your shirt as he lets out a growl to your slight.

“There are seven of us what makes you think you’ll be leaving with that?”

“You could go ahead and try to take it, but I don’t think Suga will be too pleased.” You point to the window. “Let’s make a deal, help me get out of here with this data in one piece and you have my word that you’ll get your contract at the accords.”

“How did you...”

“It’s why you’re here isn’t it? You needed to find something to use as a bargaining chip and prove your use. What do you deal in?”

“Hallucinogens.”

“Party tricks, I would imagine your market isn’t too big then. You need funding don’t you? Let me keep this and I promise you’ll get your deal.”

“We are looking for something a bit longer than an accord, would you be willing to negotiate permanent employment?”

You hesitate but you don’t have much of a choice. “Yes but I need my team to confirm.”

“Are you not their new backer?”

“I’m not about to make a choice that will affect them without their consent.”

“Good, that’s what we wanted to hear.”

Are they really fucking testing you here? Now?! “We need to go they might give up on their search soon.”

They start pulling up black cloth masks over the lower half of their faces. “Keep her in the middle, and let’s do this as quietly as possible.” Shownu directs.

It feels odd walking these halls surrounded by them, your two worlds are colliding again. Nothing about this situation is normal.

You’ve almost made it to the stairs with you come across an unwelcome face. Henry had just turned the corner and you have seem to have taken him by surprise.

“(Y/N) you’re still here?! I was so worried when I went back and I couldn’t find you.” He eyes the men around you and holds out his hand to you. “Thank you for finding her, but (Y/N) you should come with me I think I saw your security team outside.”

It was a bold move, especially when you are surrounded by seven men glaring at him.

You are polite at first, “I’m sorry I made you worry, but tell me...” a darkness creeps into your voice as you continue, “...Were you more concerned that you lost me, or that you had blown your cover?”

He tries to hold on to the lie. “What are you talking about? What have they been telling you?”

You are tired of this pretense,“You didn’t happen to grab those shoes you and Sehun saw out the window, did you? It would be nice to get those back...” You enjoy teasing him about your deception, but it costs you.

The same time Shownu pulls out a gun Henry pulls out a radio. “Objective on the fourth floor.”

Shownu looks to you, asking for confirmation.

With no hesitation you give him the order, “Do it.”

The gun recoils as Henry drops to the floor. You feel no change, no remorse, no ease to your anger, only the drive to continue.

There’s staircase is just around the corner along with numerous incoming footsteps and shouts. Shownu pulls in IM and Wonho whispering to them as you hold tight to the wall.

Wonho rejects whatever plan Shownu has, “I’m not her fucking bodyguard, I’m staying.”

“Wonho!” Shownu hissed.

“Fine.”

“One... Two...”

Minhyuk and Kihyun toss two canisters round the corner. At the same time that Wonho grabs your upper arm pulling you around the corner into a smoke filled hallway. You gasp in surprise foolishly drawing in the fumes. While the others remain in the hall as a distraction Wonho and IM guide you into the stairwell. You gasp for fresh air your lungs burning.

IM pats your back, “Sorry should have warned you about the smoke. Next time we’ll make sure to get you a mask.”

“Next time?!” You sputter.

“Keep moving.” Wonho pushes you along.

You take the stairs as fast as you can. You reach the first floor exit, but someone has jammed it in place. Wonho and IM both throw their shoulders into it but it hardly gives an inch.

Wonho takes your arm again and tugs you down the next flight leading to the basement garage. He stops at the next landing. “IM wait here with her, I think they might be trying to funnel us somewhere.”

He creeps down the last couple of stairs. Crouching as he pushes on the bar of the door, it clicks open. But what he can’t see above him is a lever being pulled from the other side. You crash down the steps after him, “GET DOWN!”

POV Wonho

I feel you collide with my back before I hear your words.

“GET DOWN!”

Fuck...

Your momentum pushes us forward, a wave of heat and pressure is accompanied by a loud bang.

Your weight falls limp on my back. I lift myself up just enough to turn my head to the other side to check on you. Your body is slumped over mine with your head resting on the concrete floor, eyes closed and face relaxed.

“Are you guys okay?”

“I’m fine, she’s out cold, must have hit her head.” I slowly push myself up more catching you as you slide off my back. “Run and get the van, meet us in here. I can’t carry her out there we would be too vulnerable.”

“Someone probably heard that though, it’s not safe to stay here.”

“Then we’ll hide, just go!”

As IM runs off, I pick you up and find a dark spot nestled between two cars. I pull my jacket off and place it around your shoulders before leaning you against the back wall. I crouch down next to you holding up your chin I check your breathing.

Why would you do that huh? Someone should teach you a thing or two about negotiating. You clearly need us as much as we need you. I sigh leaning my head against the car behind me.

I guess I owe you now. Who knows maybe this would work out in the long run, but I can tell keeping you out of trouble will be a difficult task.

“Come on you with me yet?” I pat your face, no response. “Aishh, why were you alone? Where was your team?”

I’ll have to have a chat with them. If you take us on this can’t happen anymore.

The click of footsteps can be heard across the garage. They as they draw closer I pull out my gun ready to defend this spot. A few more seconds and we would be completely unobstructed from their view. I have to stop them before they reach that point. I peak over the car, gun pulled at my target... D.O. stands before me but then dives quickly behind a pillar as I take a few shots.

IM has impeccable timing, crashing through the garage door before D.O. can retaliate. I dart out as the van breaks and drifts presenting the side door. Which is promptly thrown open by a very damp Jooheon. I hold you tight to my chest as I jump in.

“What the hell happened Wonho? IM said that she pushed you out of the way of a blast.” Kihyun rages.

Jooheon wasn’t the only one soaked to the skin, IM in fact is the only dry member in the van.

“Yeah, I fucked up. Didn’t see the trigger, but neither did IM, or at least he didn’t bother trying to save me.”

“BTS is going to be pissed.” Kihyun adds. “Speaking of which find her phone they’ll be calling again soon when they see us drive by.”

Minhyuk is about to check her pockets, I push him away. “Back away drowned rat, you don’t need to add drenched to the list of problems when we drop her off. What happened to you anyway?”

“Jumped from the 3rd floor window into the pool next door. We had no choice we were trapped. Made it to the car the same time IM did.” I guess splitting up worked out in my favour. Even when facing death I probably wouldn’t have the strength to jump.

The phone in my hand starts to vibrate. Shownu takes it and answers it. “Change of plan, there was an accident. We had to get her out in our van. We’re on our way to the Park manor. We have a few things we would like to discuss with you.”

I can hear RM’s stern voice on the other end. “Put her on the phone.”

“She’ll see you there.” Shownu hangs up.

“Are you trying to piss of their leader, fuck Shownu show some tact. We’ll be lucky if we aren’t DoA.” Kihyun scolds him.

Jooheon leans over us from the seat behind, he pokes your cheek with his finger. “Is she still breathing?”

“Yes, and will you quit dripping on her?” I smack his hand away.

“We should try to be a bit more restrained,” Kihyun comments. “We don’t know what we’ll be walking into. She says she’ll help us with the deal now, but what will happen when she’s surrounded by her team?”

“I don’t think she’ll back down on the offer. She probably already has a plan in mind for us.” Why else would you have risked your life for mine?

POV (Y/N)

You wake with a slight sensory deprivation, your ears feel muffled, and your head is pulsing blurring your vision. You find yourself wrapped in a jacket, surrounded by a team that is not your own. What had happened that had lead to this point? It was never part of the plan for you to get in Monsta X’s van. Your instinct screams at you to get out, that maybe they hadn’t been as trustworthy as you had hoped. You lunge, reaching over Wonho for the door of the moving vehicle, willing to take the risk of injury over capture.

“Whoa, where do you think your going?” Wonho grabs you and holds you in your seat before you can even reach the handle.”

“Let me go, this wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Aissh we’re taking you home... We had to improvise we couldn’t get you out without a bit more cover considering you were out cold. Do you even remember what happened?”

“You saved Wonho’s ass, that’s what happened.” Kihyun mutters with a snort.

Right... the snared door. Lifting your hand you rub the newly tender spot on your head. Hoping it will help bring back the all the memories of before you stupidly jumped in front of a fucking bomb. You lean forward to get a good look out the drivers window to confirm his story. The winding road out of the city is one that you have taken many times.

You relax in your seat glancing over to Wonho as his grip lessens. “You made it out okay then?”

Wonho lets go of you completely and click his tongue as if you’ve offended him.

“You took the hit and you’re asking him if he’s okay? The only thing wounded on Wonho is his pride.” Hyungwon explains.

“Why didn’t you just stop and rendez vous with BTS once we were at a distance?”

“We wanted to discuss our deal in a safe location. And the longer we keep around the more we get to tease Wonho.” Minhyuk bumps your side.

“Aiish, you’re soaked!” You notice the same damp appearance on almost all the other members around you. “Why are you all wet?”

“We decided to go for a swim in the hotel pool next to your building. On a somewhat related note you are going to have to replace a window on the third floor.”

“You didn’t, you actually jumped?”

“Had to get out somehow.” Shownu reasons.

As you pull up to the gate you see Namjoon, J-Hope, and Jimin on the other side. There’s a noticeable scowl on Namjoon’s face.

“Looks like they beat us back”

“I think you better let me talk to them first.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.”

You open up the car door as the gates slowly open. A relief spread across Namjoons face when his eyes meet yours. You can’t get to him fast enough, he obviously feels the same tugging at the gate in an attempt to make it open for you faster.

His arms reach out and wrap around you one of his hands holding the back of your head burying your face into the crook of his neck. You wish you could have stayed like that for a while but Jimin clears his throat bringing Namjoon back to the task at hand. He pulls away holding you at arms length.

“Are you okay?” He expression returns to a scowl as he takes note of the jacket and your bare feet.

“I’m fine what about you? Hope seems really worried when he got your messages.”

“VIXX backed down in time, you should head inside we’ll have a quick chat with this lot.”

“I think it would be better if we all spoke inside.” You urge, “There is a lot we need to discuss.”

“You can’t be serious,” He scoffs.

“I am. We should think about considering them an ally.”

“Maybe we should hear them out RM.” J-Hope speaks up.

“Hope don’t even start, if you hadn’t left her alone we would not be in this mess.”

“If he hadn’t left me we might not have seen Henry’s true allegiance! Monsta X knew something was wrong before we did, you need to hear them out.”

He hesitates, “Fine we’ll listen, but I will make no promises beyond that.”

“That’s all I ask.” You know he’s just looking out for everyone's safety, but you needed to be firm.

Jimin pushes the button opening the gate the rest of the way and waves the van in. Namjoon lifts you up saving your feet from the gravel path. Normally you would argue, but with the pain radiating from several spots on your body you are glad to be spared from the walk. As he takes you back to the manor Jimin spots the scratch on your forehead.

“What’s that, did you get hurt?” He leans in taking a closer look at the cut.

“I’m fine, there was a bit of an accident EXO left an unexpected present.”

“You should get Jin to take a look.”

“And have him scolding me, while fussing over it? No thanks.”

The van had reached the end of the lane long before you, and there they are... in your driveway...fucking changing...

“What the hell? Put your pants back on!” You yell at them.

Namjoon, J-Hope and Jimin don’t seem impressed by the display. You push against Namjoons chest forcing him to set you down on the doorstep

“Sorry we didn’t want to get your things wet.” Wonho smiles slyly exchanging the shirt in his hand for a new one from the trunk.

“Wonho you didn’t even jump in the pool!”

“No but the smokey smell was unpleasant.”

You roll your eyes as Wonho continues to smile.

“Fine just come in when your FULLY dressed. Hope can you override the security system for them?” He nods being unusually quiet.

The second you step in the door Jin is hounding you to make sure you’re okay, state of your forehead doesn’t escape his notice. “What...”

“Later Jin, please?” He huffs and mumbles a few choice words under his breath.

You step over to Suga and JK who are sitting on the stairs, pulling the storage device out of your shirt, you hand it over to JK. “Henry’s computer data, looks like we’ll have a busy couple of days ahead of us.”

He takes the drive, “Looking through another man’s browser history, this should be interesting.”

“I have a more pressing task for you now though. I need you to double check the security footage, Monsta X said that they froze the cameras but I need to be sure.” JK nods and heads upstairs.

You turn to Suga, “Thanks for watching out for me.”

“No problem, it had the added bonus of getting to watching most of them jump out the window.”

“But why are they here now, what do they want?” Jimin asks.

“They want financial backing.”

“Then why not wait until the accords?”

“They’re looking for a long term investor, longer than a year at least.”

“I would like to live in a fantasy world too,” V mutters.

There’s a knock at the door. V lets them in eyeing them up as they enter the foyer.

Jin leads the way to the formal meeting hall. Namjoon starts with questions the second everyone is seated, BTS on one side of the table, Monsta X on the other. “Why were you at the foundation tonight?”

Shownu takes the lead in answering, “Several weeks ago we had someone attempt to take down our distribution server. They used minimal IP protection which was easily decrypted. Too easily... the source was a computer from your building. Someone wanted us to think that you had hacked us. We wanted to find out why. We thought that this information might be useful to you and intended to use it to bargain with. Hyungwon was trying to keep Henry busy and lure him out of the office so we could investigate. We had no idea that (Y/N) or EXO would be there.”

Suga growls, “Don’t speak of her so informally.”

“My apologies, we were hoping that we could come to an agreement with more than a few rivals in common. The problem is with the accords only lasting a year many groups like ourselves often become targeted after having made even more powerful enemies. We don’t want this to happen to us.”

“We’re not interested.” Namjoon answers.

“Wait, you said yourself we need more manpower, what’s wrong with them?” You ask despite being able to guess it was his pride getting in the way. Monsta X knew about Henry before BTS, and Namjoon doesn’t like that.

“Manpower yes. They’re just boys messing about, and getting lucky.”

“RM...” You growl back at him.

“Well these boys just pulled your patron out of a dangerous situation, placed there by someone you thought you could trust. Where were you? If you want to keep her alive you’re doing a piss poor job of it.” Wonho snaps back.

“This is getting us nowhere, pride aside what’s the real reason RM?”

He was not happy with your accusation. “The members of Monsta X have been known for partaking in their own product. Some say they got hooked on their own drug. It makes them unreliable, how can we trust them if they’re just looking for their next high?”

“That was a long time ago, we’ve put it all in our past.” Minhyuk shouts in disagreement.

Wonho elaborates, “If it’s a question of trust let me enlighten you. You might owe your life to her father, but I now owe my life to her.”

You panic realizing he’s going to tell them the stupid stunt you had pulled, knowing you’ll be in so much shit once they find out. Your eyes widen trying to communicate for him to stop, but he continues.

“There was an explosive attached to one of the exits. I was being careless, not thinking about a possible trap. She didn’t have to but she saved me, and she was hurt in the process.”

You hang your head as your team looks to you to confirm the story.

“Which brings me to my next point, she needs medical attention.”

“Glad we can agree on something,” Jin sighs getting out of his chair pulling yours out from the table with you still in it.

“Wait we’re not finished here!” You exclaim.

“If we require anything from you I’ll have someone fetch you. Go with Jin... that’s an order.” You’re unsure of what hurt more Namjoon’s cold words, or the disappointment he holds in his face.

You continue to hesitate, but as Namjoon stares back at you it becomes clear that they wouldn’t continue with you there.

“Are you going to walk or am I going to have to carry you upstairs too?” Asks Jin.

As you stand so does everyone else keeping a formal tone as to not seem bothered by what had just transpired, “Thank you for your services tonight, I hope you can come to an agreement.”

Monsta X bows as you leave the room followed by Jin. He grips your arm and steers you to his office. He doesn’t say word until you are inside. The second the door is shut his aggression melts away, and he pulls you into a hug. “I'm so glad you’re safe. When Hope arrived we thought he had left you safe at the manor. We were so preoccupied we didn’t get a chance to check our phones. I’m sorry we took so long. What happened after he left?”

Jin sits you down on the table and lifts your chin to get a better look at the scratch on your head. You told everything, when you describe the air vent climb he examines your hands clicking shaking his head at the abrasions, he grabs a swab and cleans them.

“May I?” He holds on to the jacket you’re wearing. You nod as he reveals the ripped blouse to find your lower back swollen with scratches. He pats the table asking you to lay down on your stomach. Instead of getting you to take it off he simply rips the already destroyed fabric, tearing the shirt in two to get a clear view. While he rubs ointment in your wounds you continue your story. Your throat cracks when you speak of meeting Henry and how Shonu delivered the final blow.

“So he’s dead?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“See it? Jin I ordered it!”

Jin doesn’t respond as if pretending he didn’t hear you. Giving up on that battle for now you continue on. Your voice completely leaves you when you speak of the explosive, it takes several attempts to explain your actions and reasoning. “I saw it as he was opening the door I... I didn’t think I just ran. He was trying to get me out, if he had died it would have been my fault. My head collided with the pavement as we went down, and then I woke up in the car.”

Jin stars at you in disbelief, “Right, I’ll be back I’m going to go murder Wonho.”

“Jin.”

“I kid.” But there’s no laughter in his voice. “Are you sure you want to work with them?”

“Yes, I think we can rely them. Although the attitude in the room makes it seem like that won’t be happening.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. RM is just playing with his cards to his chest. He wants to see everything they can offer before we take them on. Life debts are not taken lightly in our line of work and now Wonho owes you his.”

“That’s ridiculous, how is it any different than them helping me escape?”

“Adding you to the escape plan wouldn’t have put them in anymore danger, and you promised them a contract. They were simply doing their job. You on the other hand, had no reason to take the hit from the charge, other than to save his life. That boy now owes you.”

You are scared to ask about the elephant in the room, fearing the answer. “How much did Henry know.”

“Quite a bit, and I’m sure even more than what we told him. JK is probably updating security codes as we speak. We never explained our end game but even if he knew of our plan and told EXO there are ways we can work around it.”

“We’ll need a new lawyer...”

“Might be able to get one through the accords.”

He hands you a fresh shirt of his to cover yourself again as he sits you back up. Jin then begins to shine a light in your eyes checking your responses, and finishes by placing a small bandage on your head.

“Can I go back down now?”

“You should get some rest instead they could be at it for hours.”

With no warning Namjoon bursts into the room.

“I take that back...”

Namjoon looks to be fuming his eyes narrow, chin puffed out, and his hair piled on the top of his head, as if he had been repeatedly running his fingers through it. “Why?! Why did you risk yourself? Do you not realize how important you are?”

“So the other members can risk their life but I can’t?”

“Not for someone you barely know! We’ve lost too much already, I will not lose you too.”

“Would you have risked your life to save Henry?” You know it’s a low blow but you had to get your point across. “We can’t always know how important someone will be to us, sometimes we just have to take that risk. I know that my father would have done the same.”

That does nothing to quell his anger. He places a hand on either side of you on the table and looks straight at you. You look back in defiance.

“You’re benched for now, pull a stunt like this again and it’ll be permanent. I need you... we need you to stay safe.” The slip of his words costs him the validity of his argument, informing you that the demand isn’t for the teams needs, but his. He pulls away taking the jacket that Wonho had given to you, and heads back to the door. “When you’re ready, the return on your risk is waiting outside. He wants to talk to you.” There is a growl in his voice, similar to that of an animal trying to keep possession of what’s theirs.

POV RM

I left Jin’s office slamming the door behind me. Wonho is leaning up against the wall. “She’ll be out in a minute.” He nods and stands a little straighter. I shove his jacket back at him before retiring to my bedroom straight across the hall from Jin’s office.

Your conversation pierces the walls of my room as if to taunt me.

“Wonho... what did you agree upon RM didn’t...”

“A month trial and evaluation after that we’ll renegotiate for a long term deal.”

“Good, I’m glad you were able to reach that.” Your words conflict with your sad tone.

“Any orders for your new crew?”

Silence fills the air for a moment.

“I can’t help them as easily in the field, and with my presence they’ll only make more enemies... Please just watch their backs for them. Keep your ear to the ground and look for those like Henry, he might be dead but I’m sure there's more.”

“Of course. Here give me your phone. This is my number call me if you run into any more trouble, or if you get bored of this lot.” The volume of his voice rises for his last comment, I can only assume for my listening pleasure.

You laugh at the idea. “Thank you, but I don’t think I’ll get bored any time soon.”

Wonho leaves, but there’s no sound of departure from you. Instead there is the distinct thump of you slumping to the floor followed by sobbing breath. I am a mere second away from opening my door when I hear Jin exit first.

“(Y/N) why are you down there... are you crying? Did he say something to...”

“It’s not enough... there’s no way it’s enough,” You whisper.

“Shhh it’s okay, what’s not enough?”

It sounds like Jin’s question is only meet with tears as you continue to weep. It wouldn’t be enough to keep us safe.That was why you shielded Wonho, why you wanted to take Monsta X on so quickly. You risked your life so you could help protect us.

A/N: If you get the chance please check out my master list. I posted an additional POV of Suga from chapter 11 (fundraiser scene) that tumblr decided to hide the tags on when I first posted it. If you like an angsty/angry Suga I highly suggest reading it.

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x reader x monsta x #bts reader insert #bts mafia au #bts gang au #kim namjoon x reader #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #kim seokjin x reader #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #bts hyung line x reader #monsta x cameo #bts under fire series

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monstax--bebe · 7 years ago

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Wonho, Kihyun, Shownu singing acapella and acting in High End Crush. Showbot expressionless face. 😂😂😂😂

#wonho #minhyuk #shownu #high end crush #monsta x #k drama #monsta x cameo

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milfgyuu · 3 years ago

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ok, so not to flood the dash…but i’ve had a productive day to say the least.

I’m about to post Chapter Six of Desiderium, which if you haven’t read, and you’re a assassin!au fan…(and i’m totally not being biased but it’s one of my personal fav series) or you just like angsty, messy, badass female main characters, you should consider checking it out 💜

You can find the Desiderium Master List here!

#desiderium #monsta x fanfic #jooheon fanfic #also features sarcastic DOCTOR yoo kihyun #and sexy conflicted assassin council boss choi seunghyun #and a cameo from ateez mingi + yunho as bad boy body guards #and one super sexci bad guy park seonghwa #and badass yet incredibly patient assassin!jooheon (hang in there buddy)#it’s just kinda cool and i really like it so it’s okay if no one reads it but yeah #maybe give it a go if you’re bored 💙#lana writes

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selfproducingfanfictionauthor · 5 years ago

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to be treated this way - chapter i

pair: shownu x reader

summary: When your alpha - sort-of - found his true mate, you’re stuck dealing with the aftermath and the coming of your next heat. So when your friend suggested a “dating service” to aid you, signing up seemed like a no-brainer. So, you’ve prepared yourself for the dominance, the adrenaline-fueled by fear and arousal and the constant out-of-this-world sex but when you meet Shownu, everything you know about Alphas is challenged. He’s soft - for the lack of better word. He cooks you meals, he takes you out on dates… all of which are not really necessary for an Alpha - Omega relationship… right? Whatever. You’d just really, really, wish he’d touch you now warning: this story may be slow-paced at the start, no other warnings for now - also, boo seungkwan’s appearance! a/b/o dynamics!

Many poets and writers have tried, failed and came close to describing what true heartbreak is. Such fundamental human experience is so universal that many men and women across history have drawn inspiration from it and created amazing works of art - sculptures, plays, books and songs. At the back of your mind, you remember reading something like - “If nothing saves us from death, at least love should save us from life” and although it’s beautiful and you certainly want to be saved, you feel like it’s too dramatic to apply to your own situation.

Even though you certainly feel like dying right now.

Mouth dry and head pounding, you blearily open your eyes to the sight of your blinking alarm clock. The numbers 1:03 pm mocks you in all its inherent cheeriness. Underneath the cocoon of your warm bed, you squirm, sweating and uncomfortable – feeling like you just want to crawl out of your skin just to reach the itch between your skin and bones. Fists closing and unfurling, you try to resist the urge to scratch, knowing that there’s nothing to find beneath, nothing to offer you relief.

Kicking off your sheets, you try to reign in the uneasiness. At the back of your ears, you feel the itch worsen, crawling down your nape burning down its path. Rubbing yourself against the scratchy texture of your bedsheets feels like heaven and hell alternating between five seconds – the brief relief only highlighting the torment of your hormones tenfold.

Time seem to pass too slowly as you try to muster the strength to get up. But your body refuses to cooperate, your limbs heavy and your mind foggy. This is what you hate the most about suppressants, the side-effects feels like punishment for being born an omega. Your head feels like it’s submerged underwater, and you don’t hear your apartment door opening with a bang.

“I’m here!” Seungkwan sings, grocery bags hanging from his arms. His eyes roam your kitchen before landing on you through your open bedroom door. At the sight of you, his mood drops. ”Oh my god, what are you doing!”

Your best friend rushes over to you and grasps your wrists, quickly pulling it away from your arms.

Streaks of scratches marred your neck and arms while you tremble. He notes with a small amount of relief, that at least, you didn’t break skin.

Aish, this girl.

Relief flood you at the familiar smell of your friend and his cool hands, drawing away from the heat marked by your nails. You let him drag you up to your couch. Sitting down, he grasps your wrists with one hand and reaches for one of the grocery bags with his other.

“Next time I see him, I’m gonna kick him in the nuts.” Seungkwan swears, agitated. Between the two of you, there’s only one person he could be referring to. You wince at the thought of Geun-woo, the alpha who had once frequented your bed. Pulling you out of your thoughts, Seungkwan fishes out a sheet of tablets and pops one open for you.

Trusting you to control yourself, he lets go of your wrists and hands you a bottle of water from the same bag.

“It’s not his fault he found his true mate, Seungkwanie.” You sigh, after swallowing the pill. You don’t know if it’s placebo or not, but immediately, the irritating itch and heat under your skin recedes.

The beta rolls his eyes. True mates, bah – people throw it around like a free pass. “True mate or not, it doesn’t mean he gets to drop you like a hot sweet potato – which you are, sweet and you look like a potato, woman, get yourself together! – and ride off into the sunset. Any decent alpha knows that omegas need weaning –”

Seungkwan goes off on a rant that you’ve heard on loop for the past week.

Geun-woo was a friend from the university. As alphas tend to be, he was popular and well-liked by your peers. His designation spurred him to be in the best shape he could be, drove him to win championship after championship for your university football team. After graduation, he went on to train for the national team and was – is – on his way to being a national athlete.

You could talk on and on about who Oh Geun-woo is to many people, but you could summarize what he was to you in three words: not your boyfriend.

The arrangement between the two of you was simple. You were adults, busy people living busy lives interrupted almost monthly by your heats and ruts. It was a logical and practical way to ensure that neither of you spend your vulnerable biological ~events~ alone. It was a good arrangement and after two years of it, you could honestly call Geun-woo a good friend.

However, the downside with spending such time so often with someone you’re not bonded with is you develop what experts call, a quasi-bond. It has all the effects of being bonded but dialed down by almost a hundred. You think it’s an exaggeration but you, an unbonded omega, really isn’t in the position to do so.

So when, Geun-woo found his true mate at some meet abroad, he dropped you faster than you could blink.

You don’t blame him, but man, it sucks.

Seungkwan glanced at you, sighing at your silence. Sending a prayer above, he fishes his wallet and takes out a card. “I have a suggestion.”

With your heat coming at you, barreling in the next two weeks, you’re just about open to any suggestion so, you hum behind your coffee mug, “The floor’s yours.” Well, at least the little of it that’s still visible under your clothes and knick-knacks.

“Before you say anything, know that I am suggesting this out of the goodness of my heart. But why don’t you consider this?” Seungkwan implored, handing you the card.

The black and purple card reads; “SS Matching Services” and under it, their company motto; “We’ve got the match for you.” With their office address and contact number.

“A pimping service?”

“Ya,” Seungkwan protested, red-faced, “Take your 19th century standards out of the gutter.”

His adamant protest startles a laugh out of you. For the guy who used to glare at anyone holding hands in public, your best friend has grown well. “Actually, it was worse in the 19th century but go off, I guess.”

Seungkwan leveled you with a flat look that had you raising your hands in surrender. No good can come from antagonizing the guy who just quite literally saved your life. “I’m listening.”

“Look, it’s just an option and it’s legit. Tough screening process too.” He takes out his phone and shows you the company’s website. Briefly, you glance at it before taking the card. Physically, it weighs like nothing but in your mind, it weighs like something amazing.

“How’d you know that?”

“My sunbaenim, uses this from time to time. It helps with his ruts. Win-win.” Seungkwan shrugs. You wonder which sunbae he’s referring to, given his many hobbies.

The website doesn’t look like it’ll give your laptop a virus, you’ll give it that. It’s classy and clean, and no random photos of just naked torsos. Good sign.

“You’re surprisingly blasé about this.” You laugh, eyes warm and surprised at how maturely Seungkwan delivers, only to laugh out loud at the sight of his burning ears.

You promised Seungkwan that you’ll check out the site but as soon as you got back to work, everything just swept you away.

That’s what happens when you work with kids.

Eyes warm with fondness, you quietly pat the bottom of one of your snoozing students. It’s nap time and your classroom has turned into some sort of sleepover area with all your students wrapped up with their soft blankets, nuzzling into their softer pillows. The early afternoon light filters into the room through the curtains, painting over the children with a soft glow.

Across you, another teacher takes the opportunity to get some of her own sleep in, curling herself protectively around two kids. Your classroom smells like baby powder and sweet treats, littered with small pastel chairs and tables. Its walls decorated with your students artworks and colorful cartoon characters.

This, this is one of the many moments that remind you why you became a pre-school teacher.

Many of your peers assumed it’s because of your designation. Omegas are naturally more inclined to take positions that require caretaking, given the innate desire to give care to others. Just like alphas are more likely to take positions that require leadership.

However, you muse, cooing as the young beta in front of you snuggle closer to your lap, many tend to gloss over the many manifestations of one’s designation. It’s true that by virtue of being an omega, you’re naturally more inclined to take care of your peers. Your so-called softness being the defining quality of your group.

But your omega manifestation is… a bit different. Sometimes, it makes you wonder how you got hired as a preschool teacher in the first place.

“Teach’r, sleepy time?”

Glancing down, you see the young beta pout at you. Waving away your thoughts, you slide down to her side and let the afternoon light lull you to sleep. All thoughts about your heat fading away quietly.

Soon, naptime was over and so is the day. Parents slowly trickle in, one after another, to pick up their children. Most of them harried from work, but still smiling at you and your co-teachers in gratitude.

“See you tomorrow, Rahui!” You call, as the last student leaves.

The little girl in her puffy sweater turns and smiles at you sweetly. “Bye, bye, teacher! Sleepy time!”

You flush at your student’s comment much to her mother’s confusion. After falling asleep earlier, you’d woken up to a clean classroom and several of your students hovering over you. Your pre-heat symptoms felt like they’re coming too fast for your taste.

Waving her off with a smile, you untie your apron and walk to the staff room where the others are. It’s almost 6 pm, and your daily staff meeting’s in session. In front of the room is your superior, an older bonded omega, with deep dimples on her cheek.

“Good job today, everyone.” She starts off, smiling at the soft cheers from everyone. “As you know…”

Your superior continues on to talk about the children’s upcoming activities. Vaguely, you hear her talk about a field trip, or is it a field demo? Shaking your head, you try to clear your thoughts but it seem like everything’s underwater, and no sound is escaping from her lips.

“… right, y/n?”

Blinking, you focus, and sent her a sheepish smile. “Sorry, you were saying?”

Your superior smiles forgivingly, “I was asking about that self-defense class you’ve been wanting to teach. When would you like to schedule it? Of course, pending approval with everyone’s schedule.”

Immediately, a large smile appears on your cheek. It’s approved?? You’ve been proposing that seminar for months. Most of the omega teachers were wary of the thought but warmed up to it recently. Especially when you mentioned how it’ll help them protect their kids – their students – more.

“How about two weeks from now?”

“Anytime!” You offer. The enthusiasm isn’t lost on your co-workers, some of them shaking their heads in amusement.

Your superior looks over your office board and hums at the chart. It contains all your schedules, including leaves, conferences to attend and heat cycles. With one look, your heart drops.

“Actually…” you start off, wincing at the thought of inconveniencing everyone because of your biology. “My heat is coming up in two weeks…”

Surprisingly, or not, omegas are actually quite liberal in discussing things like this. It’s simply part of the biology you live with. So your mortification is unfounded as your co-workers nod in understanding, quickly suggesting different dates.

Your superior nods, and glances at your work log book. “Well, we could schedule maybe four weeks from now to get you time to recover? Don’t forget to file your leave.”

Right.

“I still can’t believe she flew you in for her rut.” Jooheon’s laugh and disbelief reaches Shownu’s ears before he even steps inside. Smiling to himself, he finds his friends lounging in his living room, completely comfortable and completely unexpected.

Jooheon looks up at his arrival, “Hi, hyung! We let ourselves in!”

“I can see that.” Shownu nods in greeting, trying to remember who he gave his spare keys to. He’s pretty sure he didn’t make six copies of his set. Shrugging off his coat, he look on, realizing how his living room looks smaller with a bunch of guys occupying it. Jooheon and Minhyuk are on his couch, Changkyun’s on his stomach on the floor, playing with his phone and, Hyunwoo and Kihyun are by the window drinking a can of beer each.

That’s one, two, three… four, five…

“Hey, you’re home! And – are those protein bars?” The paper bag is snatched from his hand, before Shownu registers, blinking slowly as Wonho disappears once again into the kitchen.

The smell of jajjangmyeon invades his senses. Ah, yes, guys’ night.

Shortly after his arrival, everyone gathers in the dining room. With the two youngest improvising chairs out of the boxes Shownu hasn’t had the chance to unpack, having just moved into his new home a month ago.

To the eldest’s surprise, everyone pitched in with dinner, bringing different dishes and filling the dining table. Assorted cuts of meat are sizzling over the portable electric grill Wonho brought, several small plates of side-dishes and… are those buttered crabs he’s seeing? “What’s this?”

Minhyuk shoots him an amused glance over his beer, “You don’t really think we’ll let you off without a house warming, right?”

Shownu blinks, a small bashful smile forming on his lips, “But I’ve been here a month.”

An arm wraps around his shoulder and a weight shakes him back and forth. Kihyun rolls his eyes, getting into his personal space. “This is the first time we’ve been complete for a month! Just enjoy it!”

Jooheon hums, his cheeks filled with lettuce and meat from the grill. “Yeah, I mean, though it’s only Minhyuk-hyung that hasn’t been around, too busy getting his dick wet.”

“Oi!” their youngest protests, ears burning and nearly spitting out his drink. “We are eating.”

Wonho heartily “taps” Changkyun’s back, laughing. “We’re all adults here. It’s not as if you haven’t heard or said anything worse, Kyunie.”

“Yeah, daddy~” Hyungwon hits, reminding everyone of one very particular incident in college that featured a younger Changkyun and a girl from the bar, and the very thin walls of their shared apartment.

Changkyun flushes before rolling his eyes, “At least I get some. Can’t say the same to you.”

Scoffing, Minhyuk raises his hands, “Excuse me, I have no problem with that.”

Before Minhyuk starts to dive into his sexual exploits, Kihyun saves the day and shoves a piece of meat into his mouth and diverts the conversation to work.

Over food and drinks, Shownu and his friends catch up on their personal lives – not having as much time to get together as before. Not with Wonho’s celebrity coaching taking off, Jooheon and Changkyun’s new artist, Kihyun’s voice academy and Hyungwon’s and Minhyuk’s modelling.

Sometimes, Shownu feels left behind by the big dreams his friends are living but every day, he wakes up and goes home happy as a chef and food blogger. His appetite thanking him for the career path he chose. Besides, as Changkyun said, he could go big time if he wants, it’s just a matter of self-promotion which he’s terrible at given his shy personality.

Dinner passes by with a blur and they find themselves nursing their last beers when Jooheon circles back to Minhyuk’s vacation.

“So, hyung. How does it feel to fulfill your sugar baby dreams?” The young alpha jokes, his dimples appearing on his cheeks as he elbows Minhyuk.

Stars appear in the latter’s eyes and with a dreamy sigh, he responds jokingly, “Just as I’ve always dreamed.”

The one of the only two omegas of their group has never shied away from talking about his exploits, his looks and all the advantages he gets from it. Often, he jokes that’s why he became a model – to be admired and to fulfill his duties to the world and bless them with his godly looks.

“She flew me to her family’s island, and we spent her rut and my heat underneath the blanket of stars.” Minhyuk recounts, all dreamy-eyed, “I felt really spoiled.”

“I bet.” Kihyun remarked, smirking. “Is this the girl you’ve been telling us about?”

Ignoring Hyungwon’s cough of which one, Minhyuk nods, “Yes!” and turns to Shownu, “She’s actually friends with Nayeon – who, by the way, is asking me about you, hyung.”

Shownu blinks, before handing a can of beer to Wonho across him. “Me?”

“Yeah, she asked why you never called her.”

A chorus of ooh’s echoes in the room followed by a few gruff laughter. Shownu ducks his head and nurses his drink. Nayeon’s a nice girl, a model that he met when Minhyuk called in a favor for him to substitute as one of their shoot’s models after the original model called in sick. She gave him his number on a piece of paper before departing with a sultry look and a flying kiss.

Contrary to popular belief, Shownu is not dense – or, more like, he’s not that dense.

“Ah,” Shownu starts, “Um. I don’t think we’re looking for the same thing.”

Wonho pauses and eyes him, before levelling the younger guys with a look that has them catching their teasing remarks and keeping it to themselves. Wonho has known Shownu the longest and knows that though his friend’s an alpha, physically, through and through, his disposition often throws people off.

He’s soft when others are hard. Soft-spoken, patient like a saint and very careful with his actions and words. Wonho doesn’t even remember if he’s ever seen his friend get angry or aggressive in the span of their long friendship.

A romantic at heart, through and through.

“Well,” Kihyun claps, breaking the quiet, “You know, no point in pursuing something that you know’s a dead end, right?”

Minhyuk pouts, sometimes a little bit insensitive in his enthusiasm, “But she’s cute! And she’s an omega too! Besides – wait—how do you even deal with your ruts?”

Shownu’s face lights up like a lantern, the drinks doing nothing about the flush crawling up his neck. It’s not like he’s never spent it with someone, but every time, after the week of his rut, he always feel tired and empty. So for the past ruts, he’s been dealing with it - “Alone, with suppressants.”

“Yah, I thought you’d stopped taking those!”

Constant use of suppressants for an alpha fucks up their cycle and even their moods. Wonho knows this the best because he was on it for several months back in college, before he started becoming confident enough in his newfound muscles and height.

“I did.” Shownu nods, assuring his friends. “I don’t use them anymore. Just when I’m… you know. It’s just easier to deal with.”

All the alphas in the room scoff under their breaths. Yeah, it’s easy if easy felt like walking and dancing on hot coal in the middle of the hottest summer day. It’s not as if their eldest can’t get a woman just by standing by the bar, being his awkward self.

At their little corner, Jooheon and Changkyun glance at each other, years of friendship evident in their wordless communication. Changkyun tilts his head, eyes widening and jaw clenched, “Go”, he mouths.

Jooheon pouts, “Do you know how hard it is to get into their mixers, punk?”

Shrinking at Changkyun’s flat stare, Jooheon rolls his eyes and sends a prayer to the universe asking for good karma.

“Hyung, what do you think about dating services?”

Notes: The stage is set for our two protagonists! I tried to incorporate as much world-building and character backgrounds as I can without it being over the top. Please leave comments and asks! :) I’m trying to stick to weekly updates. Also, support Monsta X’s next comeback!

#shownu x reader #monsta x shownu #monsta x imagines #monsta x fanfiction #abo dynamics #seungkwan cameo appearance #because im a moncarat #seungkwan's a pimp #sort of #alpha shownu #omega reader #quite the lore for abo #monsta x comeback #monsta x x reader #monsta x #son hyunwoo fanfiction

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taechnological · 4 years ago

Note

I'm the anon who sent about so what, anpanman and idol,and what I meant was I didn't check out neither the lyrics nor the group even when I liked the songs cuz then I wasn't much aware and now I do,hope it made sense

ahhh i see what u mean now :0 i'm glad u found bangtan again! something like this has happened to me a couple of times before too haha when i was in high school i used to watch lotsa korean/chinese movies/dramas and then later when i got into kpop every other day i was like wAIT I HAVE SEEN THIS DUDE BEFORE shjsjs

#i saw chanyeols movie and monsta x cameo drama before i got into kpop so i was like :O #thabk u for clarifying!#ask sae #ask taechnological

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jinyoungsir · 4 years ago

Note

Your MIND for featuring TOP (aka #1 visual in kpop imo) in your jooheon fic! 💕💕💕

There is none better to play an assassin guild leader than the very striking, ever intimidating, Choi Seunghyun.

He has a huge office with heavy oak desk and a built-in fireplace. He always wears a crisp all-black suit and people are afraid to bother him let alone bust into his office like Kat does. He’s killed people for less and yet his soft spot for her is painfully obvious even though his pretends otherwise. Has a secret stash of butterscotch candies in the top left drawer of his desk because he has a sweet tooth but doesn’t want anyone to know lest it damage his ruthless reputation.

#i love the side characters in this story as wel if you didn’t know #the ateez cameo also about to be lit #also sorry not sorry for using Sehun as Cali’s FB in chapter one #I don’t think I’ll expand on him though #desiderium #lana writes #lee jooheon #monsta x

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dazed--xx · 2 years ago

Text

Breathless 2

Member: Hyunjin x reader

Word count: 13.2K

IDOL CAMEOS: Karina-Aespa, Yeji-Itzy, Lia-Itzy, Jinhwan-Monsta X.

Trigger warnings: toxic relationships, ANGST,, fake texts, mentions of drinking/getting black out drunk, mentions of cheating, mentions of marijuana use, crying, arguments, mentions of anxiety. anything else i could have forgotten.

A/N: So this was my original plan with this story. I did write an alt ending because a lot of people asked for a happy ending so if you want a happy ending this is not the fic for you but the two stories are the same until the final confrontation and i will indicate where the alt ending starts, Im still willing to write drabbles for these characters and everything so thank you for enjoying.

Part 1 Alt. Ending Link

You were grateful for Felix having come into your life. Ever since your break up with Hyunjin, two months ago, He’s been your rock through it. From taking you out anytime you felt you needed to get away, to cuddling with you and watching a movie, and some days like, today, when Hyunjin does reach out to try to talk Felix is the one to usually urge you to at least get closure. You immediately found yourself wandering aimlessly until Felix picked you up and brought you to the beach. But you being sad didn’t mean you didn’t get out of the ‘closure’ lecture.

“You know....”

His face is flat “Dude they're STILL looking for me”

“But it's cold so you coming or not?”

______________________________________________________________

“Bab--Y/N....” his voice is coarse “C-can we talk.... please?”

“So fucking leave then!” He snaps.

______________________________________________________________

“Oh” He states in confusion “well then.... what about Hyunjin did you want to talk to me about?”

“So, I should......?” you prod.

“Talk to Hyunjin Y/N” Jisung scoffs

______________________________________________________________

“Well, the only thing I want, and I think Y/N wants, is the truth of if you did cheat on her with Ye-na” Felix responds stoically

“she’s the only person I'll answer that question to” Hyunjin groans rubbing his temples “If she’d ever talk to me”

“You ever try just explaining”

“What do you mean?”

______________________________________________________________

“No!” He snaps, his scowl returning.

“Yongbokie~ say it isn’t so... you got rejected?” You tease.

“Sure, Lix whatever you say” You deny behind red flushed cheeks.

“I’ve had like 2 drinks” you argue.

“What? Some fruity mixed drink that’s probably watered down?”

“So, then what should I drink?”

A mischievous smile forms on Jisung’s lips “Shots!”

______________________________________________________________

Note to self: Never go clubbing with Jisung again.

You were drunk.

So, fucking drunk.

“You’re not walking home” He declares. “I’ll be there in 5”

______________________________________________________________

“Tomorrow...”

______________________________________________________________

You regret getting so drunk last night.

You had a massive migraine and you felt so fucking nauseous. But at least you could still remember most of your night, besides the walk to your dorm. Were you embarrassed? No not really.

You shrug. “You weren’t my boyfriend.”

“So, is that all?...or can I go?”

______________________________________________________________

Yeji and Lia were quite the pair.

“Pleeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeee”

“Hmmmmmm......No”

“Pwease”

“How bout no”

“OH, COME ON!” Felix shouts

______________________________________________________________

You sigh at her words “Well, I’m okay honestly. And my talk with Ye-na went.......fine.”

“What do you mean?”

“Girl what did you do last night?!”

“Felix you’re so cute”

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin couldn’t help but be on edge all day.

“Then she’s a bitch for not letting you know” Seungmin snaps.

“Hey! Don’t talk about her like you know her” He warns.

Hyunjin’s gaze was pulled away by Changbin snatching his phone. Panic filled his chest “Wait! What are you doing?” he called as he went to grab his phone back. Seungmin jumps from his place on the couch standing between him and Changbin. “I’m calling Y/N” Changbin confesses as he presses the phone to his ear. “NO! No” He cries “Please dude I’m not kidding----Hello? Y/N? Yeah, its Changbin” Hyunjin’s eyes widen as he can hear your voice through the phone “Hang up! I’m not kidding Hang up” He pleaded tears practically blinding him as he struggled against Seungmin hold. “Oh yeah Hyunjin is right here, yeah I mean it’s a little weird I guess but I don’t have your number so...” Changbin winked at him, Hyunjin felt as if he would combust. “Oh, I mean he’s kinda tied up right now but I could definitely get him to meet you there.” Hyunjin froze in his place as Changbin continued “Yeah I think he’ll be there before that but yeah that works�� “What’s she saying?” He whispers, Changbin holds his finger up. “Okay, but you should definitely text me Y/Nie~ who else is going to help me with.......you know what” The male whined.

“Help you with what?” Hyunjin whispered.

“Well, what?”

“What did she say?”

“She wants to talk to you” Changbin shrugged.

“Her apartment, 5 minutes” He states with a smug smirk on his lips and a wink.

“5 MINUTES!?” Hyunjin cries as he jumps from the couch and rushes toward the door.

“YOU ACT LIKE YOU WONT BE THERE IN TWO!!” He hears Changbin call as he sprints out the door.

______________________________________________________________

You paced back and forth as the clock got closer and closer to 6.

“Soo, where is it then huh?” He asks casually.

“Where’s what?”

“You don’t do weed, Hyunjin”

“That’s not my fucking point Y/N and you know it! Why are you smoking in the first place?”

“I smoke when I’m home or with.... someone I’m not stupid.”

“Someone? Who Felix?”

“No....just...someone”

“Well, someone is going to get their ass kicked so Y/N needs to let me know who”

“Why?”

“Can you be fucking serious for one minute? fucking Christ.”

“Can you be honest for one minute?”

“Hyun, I’m fine....”

“You said you’d answer everything”

“I said you could ask me anything, please, just know things are different now than they were, okay?”

“Hyunjin I need to know....”

“I can tell you how I feel now, I don’t feel the same way anymore so why does it matter?”

“There was a rumor going around that Minho was going to confess and ask you out....”

“And so, you asked first? So, he couldn’t?”

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

(This is where the alt. ending begins)

“I-I think I need time…. Honestly Hyun, a lot in our relationship br-broke me and I need to work on loving myself again before I can even begin to think about being in a relationship. Maybe…. maybe we can try to just be friends for a while f-figure thing out.” You confess. His grip on you grew tighter, you could feel him shake his head against you. “I’m sorry...” he cried “I’m so fucking sorry, please, please don’t make me go. Please don’t let this be over I’m sorry. I love you; I love you and only you so fucking much please let me stay. I need you fuck I’m so so sorry” his whines turned into sobs as your resolve finally breaks tears running down your face. You wrap your arms around the sobbing man. “I’m sorry too, but things wouldn’t be okay right now anyway, even if I said we could fix things, I still wouldn’t trust you and things would be so difficult on your part only for one of us to get hurt. It's better to prevent that” You explained as you rubbed his back. “I’ll deal with that; I can take that. I hurt you for so fucking long that I can be hurt, I don’t care if you hurt me later on, as long as you’re mine now. Fuck please I love you so much it hurts. I don’t want to leave I don’t want to let you go please don’t make me.” He pleaded, pulling himself back so he could look in your eyes. His hands caress your cheek, wiping your tears.

You hold onto his wrists; your eyes connect with his. It feels like an eternity before you look away; lowering his hands from you. His fingers wrap around your hand. “I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want to end this---then don’t, stay with me. Give me a chance, I made you fall in love and trust me before I can do it again. I can be different---I am different now. I haven’t partied in months; I’ve been all about you and no one but you.” You sigh in response “BUT, me loving you and you loving me isn’t enough anymore. I can't erase the past Hyun and as much as I want to just forgive you and get back together with you.... I just know that I’m going to question everything and I need time for myself. I need help with things that don’t involve you and I really need to figure out how things are going to go. I was accepted as a trainee at JYP because of the showcase and I’ve been considering doing it. I think us trying to figure things out would be too much right now and I-I just need time...” Hyunjin nods in response as he lifts himself from his knees, eyeing the door. You follow behind him and stand. “I don’t want you to be out of my life though. I do love you and I would love to be your friend. I know we both need space until we can be comfortable around each other without our feelings getting in the way but I hope we can be friends.” He nods. “C-can I hug you then.... b-before I go?” He asks sadly.

You smile softly at him before wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing your chest against his. His arms snake around your waist, tightly pressing you against him as he buries his face in your neck. You hear him let out a long-dejected sigh. “I love you” he whispers. “I love you too” You respond, your voice barely audible. You held onto each other for what felt like eternity. You found it hard to hold back your tears. You love him, you truly loved him and if things were different, you would have held on forever. You heard him sniffling. You knew he was trying to hold back his tears. “I’m sorry I wasn’t better for you. I never deserved you, but I’m so fucking grateful to have had a chance with you; even though I made so many mistakes, the only thing I truly will ever regret was losing you.” He divulges as he loosens his grip on you, his hand finds its way to your face; he caresses your cheek. “It’s okay, you’ll be okay. We need this, and I’m not leaving your life, okay? We can be friends I can be there for you eventually.” you soothe him before he removes his hands from you completely. Your eyes never leave each other's as he makes his way to the door. “Goodbye, Y/N” He calls as he opens the door and exits, closing the door behind him.

“Goodbye, I love you”

________________________________________________________

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