#money in real life dude. when i get a job im just gonna like wing it.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
yaoi fanfiction getting so crazy its devolved into algebra . each chapter im doing more fucking math and research on the economy than actual writing. all for komahina from danganronpa. it was never meant to get this bad.
#koâs danganronpa ramblings#i have to juggle like four sources of income that are only part time on top of living expenses and its so. so hard. how do ppl keep track of#money in real life dude. when i get a job im just gonna like wing it.#komahina#and also it has a humorous tone so all the living expenses are absurdly high and all the income sources are supposed to be absurdly low#and two of four of them are inconsistent#its. fucking. im so tired
32 notes
·
View notes
Note
omg hi. sorry i disappeared for a few days, been super busy with school. i missed you a lot. how have you been?
i havenât had the need to eat any food since i got barbara and noelle on my team. if one of them canât shield, the other comes in a clutch haha. *bows* thank you ladies for your service.
iâd pay hard earned money to see fanart with the boy scouts playing with guoba.. :( and YEAH. that would be so fitting? + itâs gonna be liyue themed which is super nice. do you know any predictions over which four stars will be in xiaoâs banner? and who do /you/hope will be there?
last time i played three days ago unlocked dragonspine.. i even did albedoâs quest i canât believe i defeat that evil place sjshdksk. meaning i got so some primogems and some intertwined fate. iâve been itching to use some of the intertwined fates to get xiangling c rate up... should i?
october 20 is such a cute bday. you know how some dates just look nice? thatâs one of them shskdhs. i want to say my birthday too but i feel like if anyone reads our messages theyâll know who i am... sorry. youâll have to wait for that information until we privately talk some day. big promise. đ€
ooh. you kind of wing it too, then! in some ways. if youâre not feeling it do you leave the fic for the day after or give up on it for a while? (so many question... shut up @ me) iâm the same as you! but i also write sometimes in the day time and i feel like thatâs when i produce my best work. yesterday i was at a cafe studying and during a break i just started writing a fic and for some reason it just flowed so nicely? so yeah idk skdjdhsk. whenever it strikes i suppose.
i do borrow my books sadly. i kind of have to because i donât have anymore place to put my books (we live in a small apartment) and books are kind of expensive :( i donât mind borrowing though because i donât really reread books unless theyâre super special so itâs fine. do you buy yours? I HAVE READ LEGEND. i read it waaaay back in grade school haha, itâs been ages ago. iâve never seen anyone say itâs their favorite but i can see why you feel that way. itâs kind of underrated in the community for sure.
dude fuck... chongyun and xingqiu live in my mind rent free. i kid you not i just canât stop thinking about those boys... please send me all the fanart you find iâll literally give you my life for that <3
i just listened to the g-idle song and AAA? wtf? i used to really like them while i was into kpop and this is so nostalgic to me. i havenât listened to kpop in literally years shdkdhdk. this song is great thank you for sending it, do you like g-idle? <3
WAIT ARE YOU MAKING A SECOND ACC? I WAS LITERALLY CONSIDERING DOING ONE IN ASIA FOR YOU... shdjdhdjshsjsj our minds. and yes iâm in american server... oh god. our co-op date can happen? đ„ș but if itâs too much work for you iâve seriously actually considered doing one in asia for me iâm totally fine with starting all over so.. đ„ș
god iâve missed talking to you so much. once again iâm sorry for not being here, but hopefully after tomorrowâs exam school will be a bit more chill and iâll be yours again.
hope youâve been well babe. mwah!
hi!! thatâs alright ahah, i assumed that was the case. iâve been well!! and then not so well bc we werenât talking đ€Ș needless to say iâve missed you a lot too <333
omggg QUEENS!!! i donât have any healers but i donât eat food either... LMFAO unless itâs a boss fight iâll just keep going until iâm done with whatever it is then go heal at a statue fsdhfkdjs
!!! brb just gonna go get good at art so i can draw that for u đ© i donât have any predictions myself, but iâve seen people say itâll be ningguang + beidou + barbara possibly?? but of course, i would hope that xingqiu was there <3333 he can appear twice in a row come on mhy <3333 just think about that <333 and omggg iâd wish if chongyun came as well.. i really want to get him to c6 (but he was only two banners ago?) hbu do you have any thoughts on the matter~
AHAHAH good job im proud of you đ€đ€ show that nasty place whoâs boss!! if you want to, I donât see why not! itâll get you closer to pity as well so by the time venti is near, hopefully it wonât take you much to get him! lmk how it goes!!!! manifesting c6 xiangling for you đ„
fhskdf thank you... is it weird to say i agree? FHDSKFHSDKFKJ like. 20/10 or 10/20... nice even multiples of ten numbers.. AHAHAH. no need to apologise at all!! đ€đ€đ€đ€ share whatever youâre comfortable with whenever youâre comfortable <33
hm it depends. (i just reaslised i said this exact phrasing last time too lmfao) i think i usually give up on it for a while? but sometimes i try to force myself through it too, just to get over that section so i can hopefully move on to a better one wait sorry i misread your question LOL. i usually leave it for the day as opposed to give up on it for a while! if iâm actively working on something iâd prefer to continue working at it slowly, even if the progress is just me opening the doc and then exiting after 5 mins fhdskj. are you the same? (NO!!! DO NOT SHUT UP @ YOU i never get to talk about writing processes pls im enjoying this a lot)
nice!! the vibes when writing during the day are sometimes better as well, bc itâs still light and stuff youâre not sitting in the dark or with a light on.. lol. itâs more ~natural~ & omg legendary... i love that for you!! on that note, do you usually study at school/cafes/libraries? i pretty much can only study at home, i hate doing it anywhere else.Â
ahh thatâs fair :( and yeah i agree books can get so expensive? like the authors def deserve to be compensated for all their hard work but damn lmao. oh thatâs a good point! i do buy books yeah, and i donât even necessarily reread them i just like having them on the shelf fhdskfd (there are many i havenât even read for the first time... oops.) what ages do grade school cover? sorry i have no idea what that means fhsjfkshsdkjs the different names for education levels will never not confuse me. !! yeah i really wish legend was more popular aaaaa
here are some recent arts iâve bookmarked!! (rip i should find one more so every word is linked but cbs hfskdhfs) iâm also considering making a genshin twitter! idk why iâm so averse to following these amazing accs on my normal account lmaoo but iâm also thinking of posting pics from the 52485 photoshoots i do with chongyun..
oh nice!!! iâm really happy you liked it đ„°đ„°đ„° and yeah i do like g-idle but i donât stan them! thatâs me with most groups tbh fshkfjsd but i do watch most of their MVs when they first come out~
FSHFKJSDHFKSD wait what if.. this but itâs us surprising each other in the otherâs servers <33 and if iâm telling you the truth... i kinda despise the idea of playing in am*rica server FHSDKJFHSDKFHSDKKDSHFKSDHKKJ but we could compromise and both start again in europe?? ahah let me know what you think! if youâre happy to just do one in asia tho thatâs fine as well~Â
me too!! and no worries for real, school comes first!! (even if it fkn sucks... @ school i hate you. i say, when iâm still on holidays FHDSKJFJS) aaaa good luck on your exam!!! i hope you smash it đȘđȘÂ
also um âand iâll be yours againâ??!?!?!?!? be still my beating heart đ©đ©đ©đ© i shall be waiting for you wifey hehe
hope youâve been taking care of yourself!! kisses, c.r.
1 note
·
View note
Text
.
Man i was just thinking again about that idea i had for a cliche gijinka app card game where the gijinkas are all Interesting Bugs instead of weird sexy anime george washington.
I've kinda got quite attatched to my idea for a leech gijinka as a super cuddly white mage who just happens to look emo and scary. And they'd be a great opportunity for nonbinary representation cos in real life leeches don't have binary sexes anyway. But i cant decide between whether i want them to look like a full plague doctor mask thing or a more cliche cutesy nurse but theyre like super tall and look like the monster girl from the ring so they get sad that people always run away before they can help them! So then i was thinking "hey, alternate skins!" Not like in the other games ive played where there's always one canon skin and all the others require hours of grinding and/or real money to buy. But just that there's like three or so randomized versions of the base character with all the same stats but a different costume. Just to spice up the pool of options a bit! Or maybe it could even be more than just the costume and you can get entirely different reinterpretations of that job class? Like the medusa jellyfish could be either a young kid or a grandpa!
Oh and i'm not really sure how to name this or anything? Cos its not really a clear category of animals, its not all insects or all worms or whatever. More like just..all the animals that are unfairly hated but have Cool Biology Facts that i can babble at u to maybe make u like them more. So i dunno.. Pests? Creepy crawlies? Some entirely made up fantasy term for them?
Also i think the setting will definately be jrpg fantasy! Just a world where all these critters are actually funky people on a comedically bad D&D quest. I wonder who the villains could be tho? Maybe theyre gijinkas of more commonly loved cute animals? Or like.. Not gijinkas but monsterfied versions? Hilariously over the top evil fluffums! hamsters are this setting's dragons! And i dunno maybe the ultimate dark lord is a dog with a cat for a royal vizier or something, cos theyre the kings of popularity.
This could also make it actually make sense why the Clione character could be a beserker like in real life! Cos theyre the most un-hated rare sea slug for looking cute, but their actual personality is big scary predator. But in this universe being seen as cute by humans = evil, so the Clione's fighty doom personality would make perfect sense! Im not sure if i should make them like a tormented Shadow esque antihero or a paladin-looking knight who has a dark streak or maybe even a viking? Cos in videogames theyre like the epitome of 'loves fighting but is still a nice hugs guy'. And it'd be neat to have a chubby buff clione instead of the more cliche bishie gijinka. But then i mean theyre literally nicknamed 'sea angels' or 'sea fairies' depending on country so yeah? Oh or maybe that could mean i make them an elf or an angel but theyre still mega buff! Viking guy with lil chibi wings and halo!
Also randomly i think that Slug will be the other nonbinary character along with Leech. Cos well there's a lot of bugs who dont fit the human gender binary but i'd probably be a bit too obnoxious if i had like 90% enbies and noone else. I always think about like 'if this is my first game project i need to go at a small and reasonable pace with all the Big LGBT Feels', yknow? But then every idea i do is always my first game project cos ive never completed any of them yet XD
Anyway i think Slug would be a more fashionable bishie kind of androgenous character, while Leech is a relateable cuddly socially awkward one who wears a mask. But definately also looks stylish in their own way, and i'm sure Slug is always complimenting them and trying to bolster their spirits! Aside from being super fashionable i also think maybe Slug would be a wandering bard? Cos somehow slow animal -> lazy human -> free spirited instead to be less cliche -> bard. Also the whole 'bard rolls to seduce every boss' meme, lol! So Slug is a very nyeheheh tricksy flirty adventuring song person who aint take nobody's shit. Instead of being sleepy they sleep on the concept of low self confidence! Full and powerful pride at all times!!! Goal in life is to be beautiful AF and handsome AF and make everyone swoon at your feet and also recite an epic poetry so cool that your enemies straight up die from the sick burn. Tho i mean i don't think anyone could actually ACHIEVE that, lol! It might be obnoxious if i actually have a character who's basically 'enby people are literally perfect in all ways'. So i just think Slug is a big ol dork who's like the Gaston archetype of the comically overconfident flirt, but like a good and heroic version who actually respects when people say no to their advances. And is also a great BFF to Leech and tries to help them get out of their shell, because well of course Slug is out of theirs XD
Also actually i dunno whether they should all just be named after the animal or have thier own names but the animal is mentioned on their profile as a job class name or something? Cos it might get awkward once we get to more specific obscure bugs with longer names or ones who only really have a scientific genus name. I'd feel like i'd have to make them all wizards cos their names sound like spells! Oh MAYBE THEYRE SPELLS!! Like each character could chant their own scientific name when they use their ultimate attack??
Oh and maybe Slug and Leech could be just based on the species in general but have their alternate costumes themed after more specific rare subspecies? Like Slug could have nudibranch themed costumes cos the vibrant colours would fit such an elegant fashioniste~ And leech could just be an opportunity to talk about how there's subspecies of leech that dont drink blood, though this character is based on the ones that do because otherwise they wouldnt really have a unique job class, lol. Maybe their rarest alt costume is a fashionable orange ensemble that symbolizes both Slug taking them out for a night on the town in their finest to feel more comfortabke in their self confidence, and also just the fact there's an orange tropical leech. Its kinda funny cos there isnt such a huge range of different colours for leeches, its mostly just different barely visible patterns and a spectrum from greenish brown to brownish black, lol. And then suddenly a bunch of wildly different red and orange ones! And nothing in between! Really does seem like a surprise makeover from your bestie, yknow?
Oh and then when i was thinking about other potential relationships between different magic bug people, i thought of Daddy Longlegs! Cos thats a name confusingly given to multiple bugs of wildly different species who're all mistaken for spiders when they really arent. And this mythical nonexistant daddy longlegs spider also has the myth of having 'the strongest poison but its fangs are too short to bite you' which is COMPLETE nonsense based on nothibg cos how would it even survive in the wild if it cant hunt? But its a real cool myth so it could be an awesome excuse to make them have a move that gambles on either an instant kill or a self debuff. ALSO THEY ARE MARRIED
I was thinking they could be a duo of fabulous zorro-looking assassin dudes who were sent to assassinate each other but instead fell in love and quit the business for good. Like 'you made me want to live again, and the only reason i threw my life away on this job was cos i wanted to die'. And to atone for all the bad mercenary stuff theyd done in the past, now theyre robin hood esque mercenaries who take jobs with world-saving hero groups like our protagonists. And they work for free as long as the cause is just! And they wish they could settle down someday and dream about having children of their own, but they feel like they dont deserve it after all that theyve done. They'd be a rare goofy bugmans that actually have a real emotional backstory! So anyway they're fancy fencing guys who're both the same class but maybe slightly different variants with different stat builds or abilities? More specialized and all. Like maybe one is speedy but weaker and one is slower but stronger? Or one relies more on luck based attacks and one is a consistant damage dealer but has a lower max damage cap? Or even one is status effects and one is attack and really even though they have the same job name theyre wildly different interpretations of it. Fitting for the entomology mistake husbands! I want them to be balanced so that they have special bonuses together but are still viable to use separately if your party setup only requires one of them. Also randomly i think their names would be Albedo and Rubedo? I was originally gonna make Rubedo the name of the leech cos i mean alchemy words and plague masks and all. But then it doesnt really SOUND like an alchemy word, it sounds like a fancy handsome dancer name. And then i started thinking about the cute once-sad-now-happy young assassin dads fighting together so well that it looks like one big dance between them, rather than a battle. And i got REAL EMOTIONAL over goddamn bug gijinkas! Man my heart is made of paper and mush!! Oh and maybe they have combo attacks together but also with all of the party members that are younger? Like special dad instinct combo! A built in ability that they automatically shield the kids from enemy attacks. YOU HIRED A MERCENARY BUT YOU RECEIVED A NICE MARRIED COUPLE WHO PROMPTLY ADOPT YOU. Oh and maybe their alternate costumes could just be each other's costumes? Like they'd already be wearing matching red and white versions of the same thing, but then albino dad wears ginger dad's version and vice versa. Or maybe their alt costumes are different complimentary colour pairs like black and gold or blue and pink? And maybe their ultra rare special costume is Big Cute Dorky Argyle Dad Sweaters! It must be capitalized cos it is IMPORTANT!
Oh and then i was also thinking about the idea i had before of bugs with a queen hive structure being like the workers are the common unit and the breeders and queens and such are rarer variants? But the workers are the only ones actually good in a fight, the others are just for collectables sake. Rare but useless, just like how the real queen bee is so big that she cant leave the hive, and never figjts a day in her life unless the kingdom has already fallen. So maybe queen bee is still unlockable as a rare character but she's just a support that makes worker bee stronger? Like you get a lil event of worker's boss coming to honor her with a knighthood for her good service, allowing her to upgrade her job class. Tho i think she still fights with construction work equipment, now its just like a golden jewelled shovel XD
#bug app game#if i actually make this it obviously wont be an app game cos im not capable of programming or funding that#itd just be a free rpgmaker project that spoofs all the cliches of this genre of gijinka gatcha nonsense#youd just earn coins to buy randomized new units via regular gameplay#and probably have a lot more ease of enjoyment features to balance it out and stuff#like your odds go up if you get lots of unlucky pulls in a row#i just want everyone to have fun and be able to see as many of my goofy characters as possible!#no need to stretch it out to 120 hours if nobodys getting money for it lol
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stream of Consciousness
from Iron Man
****WATCH OUT FOR LOTS OF GRAMMATICAL ERRORS****
fav marvel opener- flipping comic book pages -never read any whoops
no one is wearing black- back in black
sexist- driver woman
rdj is =iron man
peace sign kid holds- he dies so thats why tony does peace sign
"older guy cant work camera" clishe
uggggh shaky camera
why was he with the troops/ not in helicopter?
zoom into bomb fast- GREAT fast comedic moment just before sadness
he shud not have been conscious after explosion that close
WTF IS THAT UNDER HIS SHIRT WTF- IFITS ARMOR IT SHULD PROTECT HIM
al quaeda to soon
so hes steve jobs- made a frikin computer in his garage
ewww rbj with no beard- bad cgi :( cant u just shave and get over urself?
yes weapons are the key to peace hahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahaha
rip terrence howard as rhody
"too cool for award" cliche
"bald guy is bad" cliche
"hes always working" uhhh besides a few montages.... no he really just parties
only talks to cute girls....... uggggh
military funding? ha more like military debt ahahahahah 20 trillion is iron mans fault
jarvis is wing man after one night stand???? idve thought hed think tony was cheating lol
"girl wakes up with just guys shirt" cliche
"guy wakes up and leaves before girl wakes up" cliche
cat fight ha+2 points
literal and figurative island haha
so tony aint smart, he just uses jarvis
he obvi doesnt know how t4he faa works
i was gonna get REAL mad if tony didnt buy a painting cuz it was "too expensive" but we good
tonys a dick
yet pepper finds him attractive
ksorry
yaaaas rhody calling him a baby cuz he FING IS
im pretty sure laser shows in airplanes are illegal
"im not drinking them gets drunk" cliche
in my opinion from what ive collected, you cant be feared AND respected. fear takes over and you do things based on fear, not fromrespect - also how will blowing up people help them respect you? unless youre talking about getting respect from those u protect and those u kill cuz thats completely differeent then
"i respectfully disagree" or do you "fearfully disagree"
starts out as all techno talk, then turns into baby talk wtf
that shock wave conviently stopped right after it hit them
montage of painful surgeyr cliche
ewww that pipe in his nose as groooooooss
"dont do that but dontexplain" cliche
the dude cant understand english how did he know that tony refused????
why tf wouldnt u test it ANYWHERE BUT THE MIDDLE EAST?????
why cant they just wait and order the missile
k so this scene is srs and all but WATCHING HIM CARRYING THE CAR BATTERY IS SOOOO FuNNY I CANT
"no he wont" OK NOW U CANT UNDERSTAND U POS
"theyll never find u" cliche
why is his friend here?
how does he know how to build it? tbh he probs just had jarvis do it back home
how does the gov not know hes selling weapons to terrorists? we cant be that corrupt can we?
so hes building his ring thing but they DONT FING NOTICE THATS THERES NO MISSILES AT AlL??????
and they didnt question them the entire time
lemme peek but not go in and investigate
"i have steady hands" and then he crashes his car and LOOK! Doctro strange!
when a speech starts with a history lesson, u know its been rehearsed u poser
honestly... hot coal in mouth- worst way to die fml
props to marvel for not telling how fast theyre moving so i cant bust them for not being able to get it done
why the circle around the chest thing
wouldt one of their rules to be able to see u at all times
ctrl i is italicize hahahaha
why did the lights shut off but no the clearly hookedup laptop?
i enjoy the rock music as background music- not ur stereotypical ( yet awesome) hans zimmer score
yaaaaaas bitches run
gun shootsthen rebounds onto him- pretty sure thats not how physics work
if anyone should die, its tony tbh that whiny bithc
-2 for killing an actual good guy
how does not one of those bullets penetrate his suit?
----not enough use of the word penetreate
k no theyd keep shooting
tony: everythings on fire and im dying
ouchie that giant fall
how does he know hose helis are good?
DONT TOUCH HIS SUNBURNT AND BLISTERING SHOULDERS RHODY EWWWW
+2 for cheeseburger yas
-2 for burger king ew
doesnt sheild deal with aliens not terrorists?
newsreels? hes not THAT old
+10000 for ACCOUNTABILITY AND RESPONSIBILTY WOOOOO
k hes obvi doing the best thing here and now everyone gets pissed for him TRYING TO SAVE PEOPLES LIVES EHY IS THAT BAD?????? HE ALREADY HAS a shit otn of money LET HIM BE
fuck u and ur segway obidiah
the other thing..... dont put ur name on it
jokes on u! it was alqueade
+100 for mad money reference!!!!!
...so pepper didnt know about it so whyd he blame her for .3 seconds?
pepper is useless omg PUT YOUR HANDS IN HIS CHEST
why did he say dont take out the magnet but all of a sudden u dont need it?
i wonder if they actually built robots for tonys btterfingers
rhodeys we need pilots speech was just proven again by the aircraft landing in the hudson
so non military= humanitarian now? and if so why that bad?
honestly surprised that jarvis isnt some hot lady voice
k raza with sunglasses= morpheus
why is the mask the most vital part for raza?
tony crashing into wall is why u should ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET KIDS
obadiah is NOT playing the piano
+2 for not trusting obidiah
daaaamn if thats 1% whats 100% capacity
and he still doesnt wear a helmet
k his eye holes are so small how can he actually see?
run before walking leads to lots of problems later in life tony
at leaast he checked atc
goddammkit u made smol child drop ice cream
beginners luck
rip that baby grand he probs didnt know how to play
+2 for that fire extinguisher
+50 for Pepper being a cutie with that gift
how does tony not have his liscence revoked? hes a shit driver and can hire a chaffeur
STAN LEE BABE
RIP COLESON OMG :'(
so just fire pepper and marry her
pepper is totally right and tony should seperate who actually matter to him
how is a lot of olives 3?
im not my company- THEN TAKE UR NAME OFF HOE
no, modern day hell s walking those 15 miles and watching a car and heli and camera lady who are fine and can get there in 20 minutes
i sincerely hope that these footages were planned and not real
is this the news or a documentary?
just realized he never gave pepper her drink lol
yeah, let the kids watch their dad get shot thats fine omg
after that hit, he looks like a lion
why did he say colonel rhodes form weapons development? that name isnt that common
there was 0 time for radio contact omg
the only thing i could think during this scene was SERPENTINE SERPENTINE SERPENTINE
k now im getting a lil tired of the electric guitar
finally obi has been outted geez
im feeling some west side story WITH snaps
why is raza telling obi what he ALREADY KNOWS CUZ THEYVE BEEN IN CONTACT
how has no one noticed that obi just GOES TO THE MIDDLE EAST LIKE ALL THE TIME
this scene between pepper and tony is THE MOTHER of cliched lines
WHY DIDNT SHE SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER STUPID WEIRDO
he tried to push his hair back hahahaHAHAHAHAHhaha
not scraps obi.... he had his own stuff
im just imagining obi hidig under toys couch haha
that dick took his shirt!!!
yaas beethoven reference
props to makeup people for his paralysis on point!
sorry but paralysis seems to me like U CANT FING MOVE TONY
i thought the old reactor needed a magnet
OF ALL THE CARS TO STEAL RHODY YOU STEAL THE AUDI
goddman all these chains
JUMP SCARE COMING HAHA I KNEW IT
-2 awful jump scare
yes middle age mom- honk at the GIANT FING ROBOT
nooo not the hydrogen powered bus!
gooood iron freezes before stainless tell
daaamn obi is a real bad shot
and radiation now floods the malibu land area and thosands are illed thanks to tonys reactor
sk glad hes corrected the mediait aint iron
coleson never briefed tham
that was longer than 90 seconds
iron man- STOP TRYING TO BE BATMAN
great ending 10/10
affter credit scene: 10/10 avengers yay
1 note
·
View note
Text
Our copypastas
i cant believe that @fashion police just vored a bug
đ©đ°đ©đ°đ©đ°đ©đ°đ©đ° good shit goà±ŠÔ sHit đ©thats đ some goodđ©đ©shit rightđ©đ©theređ©đ©đ© rightđthere đđif i do ÆœaÒŻ so my self đ€ i say so đŻ thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: Êłá¶Šá”Ê°á” á”Ê°á”Êłá”) mMMMMá·Đđ€ đ©đ© đ©ĐO0ĐàŹ OOOOOĐàŹ àŹ Ooooá”á”á”á”á”á”á”á”á”đ© đ© đ©đ© đ€ đ©đ°đ° đ°đ©đ©Good shit
Boy, do I love truffula trees. Sometimes, when Iâm home alone, Iâll chop down a tree and rub the leaves in my scalp. It doesnât do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The softness, texture, and warmth. Yum
WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED ïżœïżœWEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED WEED WEED  WEED WEED
Hello, everybody. Thanks for coming. I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. And I'd like to say a few words, if you please. Regarding the story that you're about to see it actually happened. Just take it from me. But there's more to this story than what's on the page, so please pay attention while I set the stage. We open in Thneedville, a city they say that was plastic and fake, and they liked it that way! A town without nature, not one living tree. So, what happened to them? Cue the music! Let's see. Buzz. Buzz. In Thneedville, it's a brand new dawn With brand new cars and houses and lawns Here in Got-all-that-we-need-ville In Thneedville, we manufacture our trees Each one is made in factories And uses 96 batteries In Thneedville, the air's not so clean So we buy it fresh It comes out this machine! In Satisfaction's- guaranteed-ville In Thneedville, we don't want to know Where the smog and trash and chemicals go I just went swimming, and now I glow In Thneedville, we have fun year round We surf and snowboard right in town We thank the Lord for all we've got Including this brand new parking lot! Parking lot! Oh, look, it's Aloysius O'Hare Aloysius O'Hare The man who found a way to sell air And became a zillionaire Hip-hip-hooray! In Thneedville, we love living this way It's like living in paradise It's perfect! And that's how it will stay Oh, yeah! Here in Love-the-life-we-lead-ville Destined-to-succeed-ville We-are-all-agreed-ville We love it here in... Thneedville! Yes! Oh, hi, Ted. Oh, hey, Audrey. Hi. Did your ball land in my backyard again? What? No. A model airplane, this time. Hey, do you want to see something cool? Come on. Whoa! Did you... Did you paint this? Do you like it? What? Are you kidding? This is amazing! What are those? Those are trees. Real ones. They used to grow all around here. And people said that the touch of their tufts was softer than anything, even silk. And they smelled like butterfly milk! Wow! What does that even mean? I know, right? Oh, yeah. What I want more than anything in the whole world is to see a real living tree growing in my backyard. So if, say... I'm just thinking out loud here. If a guy somehow got you one... I'd probably marry him on the spot. I bet that sounds crazy. Does that sound crazy? No! Not crazy. Not crazy at all. Ted, honey, don't play with your food. You, either, Mom. So, Mom, do you happen to know if there's any place where I could get a real tree? Ted, we already have a tree. It's the latest model. Yeah, but I mean a real one that grows out of the ground or whatever. You know, a real tree. Really? You would rather have some dirty, messy lump of wood that just sticks out of the ground? And it does what? I don't even know what it does. What's its purpose? Look at what we've got. It's the Oak-amatic. The only tree with its own remote. Summer, autumn, winter, and disco! Mom? Come on, Ted. Get into it. Dance with the tree. Oh, it hurts, Mom. Please stop. So, anyway... Let's just say I need a tree. Where would I go? What do I do? Then you know what? You need to find the Once-ler. The what? Mom, it's not really the time for one of your magical fables, okay? That's right, I forgot. I'm old and can't even remember to put my teeth in. Stand down. That's not what I meant. No, really, I forgot my teeth. Would you be a dear and go get them for me? Sure, Mom. Okay, here's the deal. The Once-ler is the man who knows what happened to the trees. You want one, you need to find him. The Once-ler? Mmm-hmm. Okay. Grammy, is this a real thing that we're talking about now? Oh, he's real all right. Well, where can I find him? Far outside of town where the grass never grows and the wind smells slow and sour when it blows. And no birds ever sing, excepting old crows. Quit doing that. That's the place where the Once-ler lives. Wait, outside of town? People used to say if you brought him 15 cents, a nail and the shell of a great, great, great grandfather snail, he would tell you everything. Hmm. Mr. O'Hare, what we've got for you is something that is going to take O'Hare Air to the next level. Now, Mr. O'Hare, I know what you're thinking. One, " I've gotten rich selling people air that's "fresher than the stinky stuff outside. " Two, and here is the important one, "How can I possibly make even more money?" We can tell you, sir! We can tell you. Check out this commercial, huh? Well, here goes another lame Saturday. Dude, I don't think so! Huh! Hey! Man! Oh, yeah! What! Yeah! O'Hare purified air. Freshness to go. Please breathe responsibly. Ah? Oh, my goodness. Yeah! Love it. You got to be kidding me. You really think people are stupid enough to buy this? Our research shows that if you put something in a plastic bottle, people will buy it. Exactly. And... And what's more, when we build a new factory to make the plastic bottles, the air quality is just going to get worse. Which will make people want our air even more, and drive sales where? Through the roof! So, in other words, the more smog in the sky, The more people will buy. See, that's why he's the genius! It even rhymes! I'm aware it rhymes. Coats. Big. What do you two knuckleheads want? I'm in the middle of a meeting! What? Why is he leaving town? No one ever leaves town! See what he's up to. Whoa! Huh? Whoa! Whoa. Oh, man. Whoa! All right. Okay. What the... Whoa! Who are you? Who are you and what are you doing here? I'm Ted. I'm Ted. I can't breathe. Are you the Once-ler? Oh, man. Didn't you read the signs? No one is supposed to come here. Get out of here and leave me alone! And don't let the boot hit you on the way out. The boot? Hello! Ow! Listen! People say that if someone brings you this stuff that you will tell them about trees. No, no, no! Trees? Yeah, real ones. You know, that grow out of the ground? Hello? Sorry, it's just... Well, I didn't think anyone still cared about trees. Well, that's me. The guy who still cares. I'm here. Hey! What? Do you want to know about trees? About what happened to them? Why they're all gone? It's because of me. Wait, what? It's because of me! And my invention, the Thneed. It was an amazing product that could do the job of a thousand. All right. Sounds ridiculous, but I mean, that's cool. You're darn right it was cool! It all started a long time ago. Can we start not so long ago, maybe? Do you want a tree? Yes, yes. Then it all started a long, long time ago. I was a young man leaving home. Well, here I go, Mom. Off to change the world with my Thneed. I'm actually doing it! Yes, but just remember, Oncie, if somehow your invention ends up a failure instead of a success, oh, it wouldn't surprise me at all! Nice wheels. Burn! Ow! Yeah, "Burn!" But you will see, okay? I'm going to prove you all wrong. Come on, Melvin! So, there I was at the very bottom. With nothing but a wagon, a mule, and a completely irrational sense of optimism. I was searching the globe, obsessed with finding the perfect material for my Thneed. But I'd had absolutely no success. Until one day, I found paradise. Oh! We're going to be there soon, I'm sure. Whoa! This is the most beautiful place, okay, I have ever seen. Oh. Ta-da! Whoa! Yeah This is it This is the place These Truffula trees are just what I need Gonna chop one down and make my Thneed But first... Now you! That's great! So now our friendship can begin Hand in hand, and wing and fin There's nothing you and I can't do So let's all make my dreams come true Hey, guys! Come on, where is my back-up chorus? What? Ah-ha! Oh. Ooh! Hey, hey, wait. Wait a minute. Excuse me? Yeah, that's awesome. Feeding junk food to forest animals? That's great. But, uh, is there a musical number where you show me how to get a tree? Because I would love to hear that one. Oh, yes. Right after the musical number about the kid who kept interrupting the story, and was never heard from again. Right, got it. Proceed. All right, here we go. About to make a Thneed, about to change the world. Check it out, guys... Where did everybody go? Little did I know that by chopping down that tree I had just summoned a mystical creature as old as time itself. The legendary, slightly annoying guardian of the forest. The Lorax. Hey! Whoo! Did you chop down this tree? Uh... No. Who did it? What's that? I think he did it. Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your ax and get out! And who are you? I'm the Lorax! Guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. So you're telling me, you just didn't see me magically appear out of that stump? With all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn't see any of that? No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that? Uh, yeah, I could show you. But that's not how it works. Okay. Um... Didn't really happen. Oh, I know what you want! I've got one of these for the cutest little guy I ever saw! Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy... How dare you! Give me that! Mmm. I'm going to eat this, but I am highly offended by it. What are you... Hey, Mustache! Will you stop that? What's your deal, man? Time for you to go, Beanpole! Pull them right out. Just going to put them right back in. We can do this all day. Stop right there! Stop it! So you would hammer one of nature's innocent creatures? What? No! I would never hit this little guy. You, on the other hand, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground! Behold! The intruder and his violent ways. Shame on you. For shame! All right, you know what? That's it! You listen to me, you furry meatloaf. I'm going to chop down as many trees as I need. Okay? Newsflash! Not going anywhere! End of story. Then you leave me no choice. If you're not gone by the time the sun sets on this valley, all the forces of nature will be unleashed upon you and curse you until the end of your days! You have been warned. Thanks. Yeah, okay. You have been warned. But I didn't listen to his warning. And you won't believe what happened that night. What? If you want to hear more, come back tomorrow. Hey, wait, wait! Tomorrow? Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho. Are you serious right now? Ah! You live in the middle of nowhere! It stinks out here. Don't make me come back! I guess you don't really want to hear the rest of the story. No, no. I do. I really do. I want to hear the story. I just... Nah! You don't have what it takes. Goodbye. Wait, wait! I have what it takes. It's all right. It's okay, I'll come back. It's no problem. See, here I am, leaving. Walking away now. I'll see you tomorrow. Mmm. Maybe. Just maybe. What did you wish for, Audrey? Well, I would love to tell you, but, sadly, according to the universal wish laws, I cannot. I know what she wished for. Was it, perhaps... This? Ted, you didn't. Oh, no. I totally did. Happy birthday, Audrey. Kiss him! Kiss him! Ted. Ted. Tedster. Huh! You're kissing the cereal again, hon. What? I just... I like this cereal. What one is this? Yeah! Okay. Well, I'll make sure to buy extra next time for you. All right, cool. Hey, I got to run. I got to go do a thing. So, I'll see you guys. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You're not going anywhere, young man. It's Sunday. You know what that means? Family time, and we're all playing board games! But... Hmm. Mmm? Oh, man. Mom, seriously, every turn? Hey, back off! Ooh! No. Okay! Family time is over. It is now personal time. I'll be in my room. Okay, dear. Have fun. I knew I could break her. Go. Huh? Go see him! Oh, yeah! You rule! Thank you, Grammy. Whoa! Hey! Ted, right? Um, Mr. O'Hare? So, I hear you have become interested in trees. What's that all about? Oh. Um... Where did you hear that? Oh. Teddy, there's not much that goes on in Thneedville that I don't know about. Here's the deal, I make a living selling fresh air to people. Trees? They make it for free. So, when I hear people talking about them, I consider it kind of a threat to my business. I don't even know what you're talking about. You listen to me, boy. Don't go poking around in things you don't understand or I'll be your worst nightmare. I'm Frankenstein's head on a spider's body! Yeah, um... Okay, my mom is expecting me. So, I'm just going to... Of course, of course. Now, go back to your family game time. Grandma just finished her turn. How did you know? Please. I have eyes everywhere. Huh! You got a beautiful town here, Ted. Lots of fun stuff to occupy your short attention span. Why, I can't think of any reason you would ever want to go outside of town again. Ever. Okay! Good talk. Really good talk. Oh, no. Look out! Hey, man? You know, you need to change that door bell. Oh, you missed me. What? You're already back. Clearly, you missed me a little. Right? No, I didn't. I'm just here to hear the end of the story. Why are you so interested in trees anyway? Why aren't you like other kids, break dancing and wearing bell-bottoms, and playing the Donkey Kongs? Yeah, right, right. I don't know. Uh, I just thought it would be kind of cool to have one, you know? Huh? It's a girl, isn't it? What? No! Really? Because when a guy does something stupid once, well, that's because he's a guy. But if he does the same stupid thing twice, it's usually to impress some girl. Hey, she is not some girl! She's a woman, in high school. And she loves trees. And I'm going to get her one. Aw! How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like reality. Thank you. All right, but where did we leave off? Now that's a Thneed. Nothing unmanly about knitting. No, sir. Look at that... Oh! Who taught you guys how to steal a bed? Shh! Okay, nice and easy. Nice work, you guys. Couldn't have done it without you. You got to be kidding me. Can he swim? Of course he can't swim! Hang on, Pipsqueak! I'm coming to get you! Hey, you fishies! Stop that bed! Whoo! Whoo! Jump, jump! Come on, get up there. Come on. Go, go! A little bit more! A little bit more! Now what? Mmm-mmm. Get up there. Okay, Pipsqueak, give me your hand. Come on, reach out for the Lorax. Where did you go? Bar-ba-loots. Oh, that's bad. Hey, Beanpole, wake up! What's happening? Where am I? Hey! We got trouble, and it's coming up fast! Whoo! We're in a river! Whew! Oh, no. Just do something! Help is on the way! No, no! Just a minute! Oh, no! Wake up! Wake up! Yuck! Clear! Ah! I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back and here I am! You saved my life! Yeah, I know. Well, no, it's not that big a deal. It is a big deal! Look, I almost went over that waterfall! Wait... On my bed. How did my bed get in the river? Uh... About that... Actually... I put your bed in the water. I didn't mean you any harm. I just wanted to calmly float you away. Look, everyone here needs the trees and you're chopping them down! So, we've got a big problem. All right, look. I hereby swear that I will never chop down another tree. I promise. Thank you. But I'm going to keep my eye on you. Good. Now, I've got a big day tomorrow so I'm going to get some sleep. Right after I find my bed. Ow! Okay, what are you... Question, what are they doing here? And follow up, if I may, what are you doing here? Well, after the incident last night, we found one of your socks and came here to return it. But when we got here, you were asleep. What? Ew! Exactly. And sleeping is the body's way of telling other people to go away. I know, but you looked so cozy. And it was cold outside, and we just fell asleep. No harm done. "No harm done"? "No harm done"? Okay. Okay, I put my lips on those. Well, I used to, anyway. Ew. Did you just... In my bowl! Why do you have one of these? You don't even have a mustache. Okay, that's it! What? I thought we made a deal last night. Yes, we did. And I said I wouldn't chop down any more trees. And I said I was going to keep an eye on you. I'm starving. What's for breakfast? Breakfast is overrated. You know what? I got work to do. Yeah. I got to go into town and sell my Thneed. You chopped down one of my trees to make that piece of garbage? Look at that... "Garbage"? Oh, no. Oh, no! You do not get it. This is a revolutionary product that will change the world as we know it. It has a million uses! Look at this. It's a swimsuit! Mud tracked all over your floor by uninvited guests? Well, the Thneed sure comes in handy for that! But wait, there's more! Thanks to its all-natural microfibers, the Thneed is super-absorbent! It also works as a hat. Of course, you probably want to wring it out first. Go ahead, knock yourself out. But nobody is going to buy that thing. Good to know. Well, fortunately, you are not the target market, weirdo. You're bringing a guitar? Oh, yeah. I got a little jingle. I'm gonna blow some minds, gonna sell some Thneeds! Yeah. Everybody needs a Thneed A fine thing that all people... Sit down, go on. Unfortunately, I didn't sell it the first day. The Thneed is good The Thneed is great... Hey! Or the second day. Hey! Or the third, or fourth, or fifth day. Okay, that one hit the tender spot. Until finally... That's it! You know what? I'm done with this thing. Aw. My family was right. I quit! Hey. Cool hat. Oh, my gosh! I totally want one. That thing makes me like you more. Hey! Where's your Thneed, did you sell it? Hey. No, no. Didn't sell it. Turns out, it's ahead of its time, I guess. Hey, you gave it your best shot. Right? What more can you do? Come on, take a seat, we'll deal you in. What are we playing? I'm playing poker. He's playing Go Fish. And I think he's hungry. Oh. Pancake, the pancake Up! Who is up for ninths? Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Whoa! All right, pass them over. Yeah, see? What's going on? Oh, no. That's a lot of people. Everybody needs a Thneed A fine thing that all people need The Thneed is good The Thneed is great Let's hope we're not too late It's a super trendy hat It's a tightrope for an acrobat A net for catching butterflies A thing we use for exercise Everybody needs a Thneed A fine thing that all people need Everybody needs a Thneed Oh, yeah! We're in business, baby! We need a Thneed Mom? Hey, it's me! I told you I was going to be a success! You need to bring the whole family here right now. We're going to be rich! What? I'm going to need all the help I can get. Don't worry. So, has he told you how to get a tree yet? Actually, no. But I think he's going to get to that part really soon. Here we are. What? I'll just be a minute. Oh, wow. Hey, Audrey! Oh, hi, Ted! What's up? You know me, just cruising. Putting out the vibe. Just me and my thoughts. Oh, is this the girl you're always talking about? Grandma! Stop making things up. She's even prettier than... Okay, got to run! Bye. Okay, Grammy, let's get you home! Yeah! Whoa! I'm so sorry. So sorry. Did not wanna see that. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho! Hey! Hey, I'm back. What have you got there? Yes! Whoa! Thank you, Ted. Now, picture this. Sun shining, a blue sky, a perfect day. It was all downhill from there. Whoa! What a dump. Hey, Aunt Grizelda! Hey, Chet, check this out! Go long! No, Brett, that's actually not a... Okay. Go long! Go long! I got it! I got it! Got it! He totally ran into that tree! Ow! Oncie, is that you? Mom! There he is! There's my big, suddenly successful son! We always knew you would make it, Oncie. Right? Hey! I love this guy! But you always said I wouldn't amount to anything, remember? Hush your mouth. I was just trying to motivate you! I am really glad that you clarified that because it actually hurt my feelings for a really long time. Anyway, you're all here, you all work for me, and that's cool. So, let's get to work. Brett, Chet, set up the RV! Would you stop throwing that bear? Time out. Back up. Stop. Don't move an inch. Nobody's moving in here. You got to go. Goodbye. So, who invited the giant, furry peanut? You calling me a peanut, huh? I'll go right up your nose! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman. That's a woman? Okay. Everyone, cool it. Let's not get off on the wrong foot here. Um, family, this is my friend... Acquaintance. Yeah, acquaintance. Very good acquaintance, the Lorax. He speaks for the trees. That's right. And on behalf of the trees, get out! Will you just be nice! This is my family. And I'm going to need their help if my company is going to get bigger. Okay? Bigger? Yeah, this isn't some rinky-dink operation anymore. I got plans. Big plans! A vision of a world filled with Thneeds. It's going to be huge! Which way does a tree fall? Uh, down? A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean. I mean, look at this. It's amazing. I am so proud of me. Oncie, we've got us a little problem. Problem? Mmm-hmm. See, we're not making Thneeds fast enough. Harvesting the tufts takes too long! Well, what else can we do? Well, and this just came to me, we could always start chopping down the trees. What? Now you're thinking. That would speed things up! But... No "but" s, Oncie. You're running a business now. You have to do what's best for the company, and your momma. Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to chop down a few trees. You've made me so proud, Oncie. Come here! Hey! I love this guy! No! No, no, no! Stop it! Please, stop. Take that, you stupid tree! Where do you think you're going? Excuse me, sir. I need to talk with your boss. Oh, I'm sorry, but Mr. Once-ler's not seeing anyone right now. Yeah, well, he'll see me. So... Hey, keep your paws off me! Give me a reason, Shorty. Hey, you broke your promise. You're better than this. You gotta stop! This is bad! Have a nice day! Bad? I'm not bad, I'm the good guy here. He just doesn't get it. Do you think I'm bad? Thank you! I mean, something good finally happens to me, and he just has to come along and rain on my parade. What's his problem? See? Yeah, bad! Right. How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? Well, there's a principle in nature Principle in nature That almost every creature knows Called survival of the fittest Survival of the fittest And check it, this is how it goes The animal that wins gotta scratch and fight And claw and bite and punch And the animal that doesn't Well, the animal that doesn't Winds up someone else's La-la-la-la lunch Munch, munch, munch, munch, munch I'm just sayin' How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How bad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How bad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? There's a principle in business Principle in business That everybody knows is sound It says the people with the money People with the money Make this ever-loving world go round So I'm biggering my company I'm biggering my factory I'm biggering my corporate sign Bigger, bigger! Everybody out there You take care of yours I'll take care of mine-mine-mine-mine-mine Shake that bottom line Let me hear you say Smogulous Smoke! Smogulous Smoke! Schloppity-Schlopp! Complain all you want It's never, ever, ever, ever gonna stop Stop! Come on, how bad can I possibly be? How bad can I be? I'm just building the economy How bad can I be? Just look at me petting this puppy How bad can I be? A portion of proceeds goes to charity How bad can I be? How bad could I possibly be? Let's see! All the customers are buying And the money's multiplying And the PR people are lying And the lawyers are denying Who cares if a few trees are dying? This is all so gratifying! How bad? How bad can this possibly be? So, how are things? What are you doing here? Happy yet? You fill that hole deep down inside you? Or do you still need more? Look, if you've got a problem with what I'm doing, why haven't you used your quote-unquote powers to stop me? I told you, that's not how it works. Right, I forgot. You're a fraud. I need you to get out. Now! Why? Do I make you uncomfortable? Remind you of the promises you made? The man you used to be? You know what? You can just shut your mustache. My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal. I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees into Thneeds. And nothing is going to stop me! Well, that's it. The very last one. That may stop you. Somebody sure made a bundle on that thing. I wonder what the next million dollar invention's going to be. Yeah, I wonder... Son, you have let me down. Brett, you are now my favorite child. Hey, look, I don't want any trouble. And you won't get any. Not from them. Thanks to you and your hacking, and smogging and glupping, they can't live here anymore. So, I'm sending them off. Hopefully, they'll be able to find a better place out there somewhere. Melvin? Melvin... Hey, Pipsqueak... Hey... So, this is really all your fault. You destroyed everything. Yes. And each day since the Lorax left, I've sat here regretting everything I've done, staring at that word, "unless," and wondering what it meant. But now I'm thinking... Well, maybe you're the reason the Lorax left that word there. Me? Why would he leave that for me? Because unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. The last Truffula seed. You need to plant it, Ted. Yeah, but, nobody cares about trees anymore. Then make them care. Plant the seed in the middle of town, where everyone can see. Change the way things are. I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not about what it is, it's about what it can become. That's not just a seed, any more than you're just a boy. I won't let you down. I know. Hey, Audrey! Audrey! Ted? What are you doing? Meet me at my house. Wait, but... My house, okay? Got to plant the seed. Okay, we're going to need water. And uh, something to dig with. Um, what do I have... Ted? Mom, I'm busy, Mom. Theodore Wiggins, get down here right now, and I am not kidding with you! Ted, I would like you to meet Mr. O'Hare, the most powerful man in town. There he is! Hello, Ted. Uh... Hi. Isn't he clever, Mr. O'Hare? He knows his own name and everything. You know what I would love right now, Mrs. Wiggins? A delicious cookie. Wonderful. Teddy and I'll stay here and talk. Sure, why don't you go ahead and adopt him? I'm just kidding. That was a joke. I was just joking. I'll get your cookie. I know you have it, Ted. So, let's put an end to this nonsense, shall we? Hand it over. I'm sorry... I don't know what you're talking about. Really? Well, then... I guess you wouldn't mind us checking your room. No, no, no! Morty! McGurk! Find the seed! No, you can't go up there! Guys, this is ridiculous. Stop! Hey! No, you can't come in my room! Find it! Find it! What is going on here? This doesn't involve you! Get back downstairs! Excuse me, down there! I don't care who you are, you little crazy baby-man! Get out of my house now. This is outrageous. Fine. Sorry. Must have been a misunderstanding. We'll be leaving now. And my apologies, Ted. You be safe. Mind telling me what's going on here? The seed! Where is it? Seed? Where's Grammy? It's alive! I remember you. Ted, what... Audrey! Hey, did you want to... Well, okay! Ted, what is this about? It's about this. Wait, wait, wait. Is that... Yes. The last Truffula seed. And you're going to help me plant it right in the middle of town where everyone can see it. I could just kiss you right now! We don't have time for that. I don't know, we have a little time. But, you know what, let's just go. Let's go. Forget about it. Maniac! Hey! Ah! Here it comes! I'm going for it. Oh, hello! Ted, big scary blimp coming. Whoa! You won't get away with this, boy! Bam! Go faster, you idiot! Yeah! Step on it, Ted! Whoa! You're fired! Whoa! Ted, look out! Nobody beats Aloysius O... Ted... This is not good. How's it doing? Whoa-ho-ho! Loser! Oh, really? Oh, no. The seed! Get that seed! Hang on! Here we go! Grammy! Seriously, how cool is your grandma? No! Come on! Yeah, that's right. There it is! Hey! Watch the road, you meathead! Ah! Hey, ow, ow! Oh, come on! What the... Get it unstuck, get it unstuck! Bring it on, Teddy! You don't have the guts! Ted! Grammy! Whoo-hoo! Yes! Hey, hey, hey! Hey! It's Mr. O... Take that, shorty! Okay, we have to get this in the ground. But where? There's no dirt anywhere. No, Grammy... Hey, get out of there! Ah! Hey! What? See, what did I tell you? Easy. Huh? Hey, they broke O'Hare's head! What do you think you're doing, kid? Um, I'm looking for a place to plant a tree. A real one. Why would we need a tree? Exactly. Oh, man. Folks... The last thing you want around here is trees. They're filthy! Spewing that sticky, nasty sap all over the place. They bring poisonous ants and stinging bees. Hey! Ouch. Think about the kids. And, I just thought, you know, they make leaves! You know that, right? Then these leaves, they just fall. They just fall wherever they want! Come on! We know why you're really against trees. Because they produce fresh air. For free! Oh! I am wounded! You have lied! It is not a lie! It's called photosynthesis. Come on. She's making that up! That's a made-up word, people! Thneedville is perfect just the way it is. We don't need trees! That boy has a seed. We need to stop him! Who's with me? Come on! O'Hare is right! Seeds will ruin us all! Stop it! Last chance, kid. Hand it over! Where do you think you're going? Come on, let's go! Get in, get in! Hey! Stop that maniac! Excuse me, excuse me. Watch out! Ted, you're going to hit the wall! Yeah. I know. Wow. Did you see that? Who does this kid think he is, huh? I am Ted Wiggins. And I speak for the trees. And the fact is, things aren't perfect here in Thneedville. And they're only going to get worse, unless we do something about it, unless we change our ways. And we can start by planting this! Okay. Come on, now. Everything is fine. Right? I say we tell this kid what we think about that seed! People, come on! You! Get out there right now and get these people on my side, or else you're fired! Go on, tell them what you think. You don't know me, but my name's Cy I'm just the O'Hare delivery guy But it seems like trees might be worth a try So I say let it grow My name is Dan And my name's Rose Our son Wesley kind of glows And that's not good, so we suppose We should let it grow Let it grow, let it grow You can't reap what you don't sow Plant a seed inside the Earth Just one way to know its worth Let's celebrate the world's rebirth We say let it grow My name's Marie, and I am three! I would really like to see a tree I say let it grow I'm Grammy Norma I'm old, and I've got gray hair But I remember when trees were everywhere And no one had to pay for air So I say let it grow Let it grow, let it grow Like it did so long ago It is just one tiny seed But it's all we really need It's time to change the life we lead Time to let it grow My name's O'Hare, I'm one of you I live here in Thneedville, too The things you say just might be true It could be time to start anew And maybe change my point of view Nah! I say let it die! Let it die, let it die Let it shrivel up and... Come on, who's with me? Nobody. You greedy dirt-bag! Let it grow, let it grow Let the love inside you show Plant a seed inside the Earth Just one way to know its worth Let's celebrate the world's rebirth We say let it grow Let it grow, let it grow You can't reap what you don't sow It's just one tiny seed But it's all we really need It's time to banish all your greed Imagine Thneedville flowered and treed Let this be our solemn creed Thank you, Ted. We say let it grow In Thneedville We say let it grow It's a brand new dawn We say let it grow In Thneedville We say let it grow It's a brand new dawn You done good, Beanpole. You done good. By the way, nice mustache.
#go ahead and reblog with what i missed!#i know i missed a lot of discord ones i'm just having trouble remembering them
23 notes
·
View notes