#mommy shark humanoid is hot

[forgetmenot-mymoon]

The Ballad of Tentaclopacus

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Author's note: So me and my bestie were on vacation and we played the make up a story game, where she said a sentence then I said a sentence and it made a story. Then I was like, ima write this down! Now this exists and it is pure crack, stupidity and so many plot points ignored or missing (Bestie refused to let Tentalopacus be kidnapped)

Enjoy my suffering!

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The Beginning...

Once upon a time, there was once a lonely sea star in a sea kingdom who hated the sea but wouldn’t go on land because of big monsters with GIANT teeth.

Logan needed a girl with long tubule feet and large suckers but, as Logan searched the sea, he couldn’t find anyone like that. So as all sane people do, he held a party and invited “pretty stars,” he literally sent shells with invites written into the currents, he trusted fate. The party had a variety of starfish with tube feet with different numbers of arms, even some basket stars but none of them had big juicy tube feet. Logan sat in the corner pissy until eventually, the festivities ended with Logan kicking them all out. After that embarrassment, he strolled around mourning his dead (never alive) love life. Logan stumbled into a shark named Hajula with black pearly eyes and beautiful black-tipped fins, sharp. He shook and asked the shark if she had seen any hot starfish with hot tube feet, she called him an idiot and then said with a laugh, "Let’s get married,"

At the wedding, there were many guests, some starfish, some sharks, and some random creatures like eels. Logan, while talking to guests in a manly suit, revealing his “abs" suddenly saw a hot starfish. He was entranced by her color, a mysterious purple like the night stars. He watched her from afar, letting the words among him drift away, even her large suckers were a light purple. The ceremony started and the ring eel was nice to not electrocute them. Hajula kissed him hard, happy to finally be loved. They celebrated all night, mostly in each other's arms. But… As the party started dying down he saw the star of starfishes once again, he ran up and started flirting, even asking if she wanted to “be in the coral with him,” Hajula’s brothers, Alo and Haai immediately ran to tell her once they overheard these lewd words. The young shark hearing this gasped and in a blind rage ate them as they struggled to no avail against giant Hajula, The guests watched in horror, she ate some starfish too. Logan stood there horrified, shaking in his exoskeleton. In shock, he opened his beak and screamed “EAT ME INSTEAD,”

Hajula ground her teeth with hunger, some of his siblings' skin stuck between the knives of teeth. He shook like sea tremors did in the deep cold water of death. Logan wanted to crawl away but he was frozen, flight nor flight would do anything against this beast. Hajula unhinged her jaws like a land monster. Logan regretted never seeing a land beast, were they as beautiful as Hajula? The weirdo thought just before the floor turned into a Red Sea. Some clear saliva dripped down from her jaw with the red, all out of lust. Logan stood in horror as its eye spot photoreceptors were ripped in half. The starfish could still feel even if half was gone, it felt the sticky floor pool around him. Logan didn't even have any last thoughts, just screams. Everything went black for the perverted starfish. Now the couple would be together forever.

After the chaos, only an arm was left…

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The young starfish woke up with the conch’s yell of an alarm. Sweat rolled all around his arms like a tide pool. He woke, groggy, and broke the conch shell with its tube feet grip, and then the star finally crawled out of bed. Tentaclopacus’s mother gave him his lunch, a small box filled with star and heart-shaped veggies and fruits. He kissed her on the cheek as a goodbye. Her teeth in a harsh smile as her pearly black eyes pooled with love for the little star.

Hajula brushed Tentaclopacus with her fins before pushing the little star out the door. He met up with two shark friends, Jaime and Richard. They both were shark jocks which meant they ranted about the hockey season starting this fall. Both were excited as their fins and teeth rattled like a hockey puck in a court. Tentaclopacus stayed silent walking along with them but slowly falling behind his only lights. The friends dispersed without a word to the falling star as they got to the school door. The building was old and creaked with the ocean currents. It was made of some giant shells along with shark cartilage. Dead sharks needed to be used, either in honor or punishment. Tentaclopacus walked through the halls to his first period of math. The hallways were rocky and windy but along them were frames of taxidermy, the first was this weird giant monster, a giant monster, supposedly the ones on land, a giant jaw with razor teeth and tiny arms with claws, strange colorful soft items around parts of its body. After this giant was taxidermy of everyday creatures, many on the lunch menu for sharks. A sea cucumber, tuna, squid, crawfish, oyster, and then a starfish…he stared into the frame seeing his reflection in the glass. It always wanted to ask his mother where he came from but she just ground her teeth like she did when her dinner wasn’t right… after a few moments her smile went rigid and she changed the subject, asking about school or math…but as superintendent, she already knew the answer. He felt queasy like there was a sea tremor but quickly shook it off. But as he did Tony the black-tipped shark rounded the corner, Tentaclopacus shifted to camouflage into the wall as Tony swam past him around another corner, after a few minutes of quiet the starfish shifted his chromatophores back to normal and started walking- Suddenly Tony dashed back around the corner- His eyes hungry staring at the small star. "I knew you were there, Tentafreaklopacus !" The black fins weren't covered in blood this time. (Tony loved beating smaller sharks to death) The clean fins made Tentaclopacus relaxed slightly, then jerked back because that meant Tony was hungry. It shivered like a long-buried memory had scratched its nerve ring. Before Tony got a chance to open his razor mouth, Jake appeared with his deformed face and black pearl eyes. He was the hall monitor because even sharks need that. Because of that, he wasn’t messed with (to his face) oh and he had a sob story of a dead mom.

“What are you all doing??!! Get to class!!” He said with his funky teeth (another thing they made fun of) Jake was the only hall monitor to last this long without getting eaten, maybe it was because of that goblin appearance. “It’s just first period!” Tony whined with his teeth. “Do you want me to write you up?” Jake manifested pen and paper in his fins, death staring the black tipped even with the size difference. Tony yielded and swam away. Before Tentaclopacus could scramble away Jake pinned him to the wall and looked at him with hungry eyes. Then just…let go and left without another word. Finally after all that, Tentaclopacus arrived at his class, it felt like centuries since the late bell had rung. He quietly tiptoed in, keeping low to the ground, ignoring the loud tube feet. The class snickered a bit but most were just boredly hungry of the stupid star. If his mom wasn’t superintendent he would’ve been dead in 3 seconds flat. Tentalocpus sat down at his desk which like in a Japanese cartoon had insults and threats written on it by the class with their teeth. This was math but shark and starfish math were different. Everything was. Sharks counted teeth but starfish counted arms. Shark history was full of blood, starfish history was full of death. Shark science was the science of killing, starfishes didn’t do that sort of killing. Sharkish and the starfish language were different too. (He didn't know the name of his own language)

Tentaclopacus learned nothing from these classes even if it spent nights studying. Even when he failed a class or got beat up Hajula wouldn��t let him leave school. Failing didn’t affect anything. Tentaclopacus had failed grades before but didn't actually fail. When he got bruised the ones who did it were gone the next day, parents and siblings sobbing in Ms. Shell's room quietly. The conch sounded off, wailing its cries for freedom. The starfish waited till most of his classmates were out before crawling out. Sharks still purposefully tripped him. When the small starfish was half way to his next class some salt broke out of his eye spots. He couldn't do this, Tentaclopacus skipped the rest of the day, one of his final mistakes.

It slowly crawled its way to the store, where else could it go other than school? Hiding in the coral reef was the definition of stranger danger. So a store full of sharks would be much much safer! He scooted in the doors hoping no one would question why the automatic doors opened to no one. Tentaclopacus used its Chromatophores to hide among the shell floor, a shell moving was a bit weird though but most sharks just shrugged and ignored it. Shelves filled with “pre-hunted starfish '' some of them look like they could be his siblings…one has a mysterious purple color like the night stars. It felt like it had seen that one before along with some others…but mom had never let Tentaclopacus meet its kind. There weren’t any living ones around to meet. The little star shook all the icky feeling off and scrambled to a less starfish filled shelf. He moved to the safer old wooden shelves where it was easier to hide and used them to move around. He hid behind a can of tuna and observed the sharks, trying to find out the difference in mannerisms that made them so different. However, its eyespot could only see so much and its nerve ring could understand little. A fin suddenly picked the can up with Tentaclopacus holding on for dear life. He tried to not shake with fear, knowing that would be his end. Thankfully the can shook so much that Tentaclopacus fell off right before it was lowered into the cart, he sped away hiding under the shelf that then fell- fell on the shark with the tuna and its pup with a loud roar. Tenteclopse decided it was time to run and did so, making it out with icy shivers haunting him, his muscles refusing to calm.

As his eyespots looked around trying to figure out the way home and NOT GET EATEN. A familiar figure suddenly swam up to him.

Jake, the hall monitor. He guessed school was already over,

Jake’s fangs glinted in the sun as he smiled at Tentaclopacus. The young star felt shivers run down his nerve ring as if traveling through time. “Hey there! I didn’t see you today…did you skip?” he said with a grin, like one practiced in a mirror.

“Oh, well…” The starfish's nerve ring lit up trying to make up a story,

“Well, I wasn't feeling well and I didn't have breakfast so I tried to get some at the store,”

“Oh! I’m so sorry, I could bring you food y'know,” The shark licked his lips, dreaming of plated starfish.

“No, no my mom was just busy today, don't worry it's just a one-time thing,” “Well I would hope so, wouldn't wanna have to write you up,” Tentaclopacus was confused, his mom would never take that. Maybe he knew this and that's why Jake quickly switched topics, still smiling with black eyes.

'Well…I was thinking we could hang out sometime?’ His black eyes hit the sunlight. First Tentaclopacus thought they were pearly like his mothers…but as he stared into them. Jake’s eyes were just a void.

“Uhh, no thank you, my mom needs me at home,” Tentaclopacus was horrified of what could happen by saying those few words- or any words- to a predator but what else could the young starfish do?

“Your mom won't be the big man forever!” Jake said, his void eyes now like a black hole, “I’ll show her that, just like Dad told me to!” He yelled that battle cry as he opened his deformed jaws, stretching them out into an impossible length to grab the starfish.

As his vision faded he saw black tips at the edge of the coral.

-There wasn't any pain at first, just dark- But before the fear could even set in the hurricane of blood and guts turned inside out. Tentclopcus remembered everything as the teeth sunk into every nerve. His beak crushed too fast to let out the tiniest cry. Just gone

Tentclopacus’s last thought was, “God, what an asshole I was in his past life.” Not even an arm remained this time.

The end

*Stay tuned for the next story, THE BALLAD OF HAJULA Coming 2026 or 2020never (probably will eventually happen)

Tentaclopacus REAL (this is him, it’s canon)