#mommmmm dadddddd theyre arguing again :(((

[quinnverse]

"You don't find my behavior appropriate? Well, surely you would know all about behaving appropriately, wouldn't you?" She repeated, nearly scoffing at his audacity. Perhaps she was being a bit more bold with Gregory than was traditionally encouraged, but she didn't think it was inappropriate. She had touched Ben much the same way, grazed her hand over his arm in a similar fashion. And that had been before he had kissed her.

And she hadn't kissed Gregory. She hadn't felt the need to nor the desire to and yet he was considering her current behavior inappropriate? Sarah crossed her arms over her chest, brows knitting together in confusion. "How would you prefer I act, Mister Tallmadge? You didn't seem so appalled by my behavior when it was directed towards you. In fact, if I recall, you rather liked it, did you not?"

His anger caught her off guard. As adamant as he had been about not being jealous, Sarah couldn't help but feel there was at least a hint of jealousy in his words. She hadn't done anything untoward. Not yet. And even if she had, it wouldn't have been as improper as kissing in broad daylight. She couldn't begin to understand why he would have such a problem with it if there wasn't at least a sliver of envy.

"There is no attachment between Gregory and I." Not yet, she wants to add, but thinks better of it. "We're friends, Mister Tallmadge. The same way you and I are friends. Am I to swear off friendship just to please you? Would that make you happy?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized how twisted they were. She did not want to marry Ben, but she did want to kiss him, to touch him, to see him in all the ways that friends absolutely shouldn't want to. And while she wouldn't mind marrying someone like Gregory, Sarah had a feeling that he only saw her as a friend. Honoria would've had a far better chance at seducing a Bridgerton, but Sarah was growing desperate. She could bat her lashes and play coy all she wanted, but he didn't look at her the way she hoped. He didn't look at her the way Ben did.

"Me? I don't know what I want? That's rich coming from you, Mister Tallmadge. You're the one who doesn't know what he wants. Do not project your misgivings onto me." Quickly casting a glance behind them to make sure Gregory wasn't returning prematurely, Sarah glowered back at him. "I happen to know exactly what it is I want. I want a husband, I want a family, a life where I can be taken care of. I want security and safety and, above all, I want happiness, and the only way a woman like me can get that is by marriage. And Gregory has that to offer! Unlike other people." She let out a huff, allowing the steam to spill from her ears as she began again.

Because surely, you would never offer to be intimate with me, if you felt wholly, completely enraptured by Gregory Bridgerton. She nearly let out a growl as the frustration bubbled up inside her.

"Is that what this is about? Because I am not wholly smitten with him? I do not feel enraptured by anyone! I do not have the luxury of such a thing. And, besides, the only person I've felt even relatively enraptured by is--"

You. She cut herself off just before the words dared to leave her lips. She couldn't say it. She wouldn't say it. She had thrown him for a loop already and Sarah didn't wish to torment him. However, if she knew how terribly such a thing would've affected him, she might've done things differently. Letting out a long sigh, she turned away from him. Sarah waited a moment, allowing the burning in her cheeks to cool down before speaking to him over her shoulder.

"Is this because my affections are aimed at Mister Bridgerton? Or do you simply not wish me to be anyone's if I cannot be yours?" She glared at him, wearing an icy expression. If he refused to admit jealousy, then the least he could do was admit his reasonings for the way he was acting. If he was feeling protective over his pupil, Sarah might understand. She would most likely act in a similar fashion when it came time for her younger sisters to join the marriage market. But if he was acting out of discontentment for seeing her flirt with someone else, then she would have some stern words to offer him. "And I'll have you know have not kissed Gregory. Or rather, he has not kissed me. And, if I'm to be honest, I don't think he will. So, as far as inappropriate behavior is concerned, you still take the cake."

She blinked away a wave on hot tears that rose to the surface. She couldn't cry. Not now. Not in front of him, and not when Gregory could return at any moment. There would be no way to avoid questions if he came back to a teary-eyed Sarah, alone with his beloved tutor. And she didn't want to shed any more tears over a man that did not love her.

"If you do not approve of my methods to find a husband, then perhaps you should've thought about that before you decided to offer your assistance. Or perhaps you should stop meddling in other people's lives when you have no intention of participating in them!"

Sarah was once more chirping in that sweet, saccharine manner to Gregory that Benjamin loathed, yet he barely focused on her words -- no, he watched the way her lips moved, soft and coy, and how her hand brushed over his pupil's arm with the warmest skim of affection. Had she ever looked at him that way, Benjamin wondered?

Despite Gregory's clear hesitance to leave, he finally acquiesced and left them alone. It was a death sentence, as far as Benjamin was concerned, and he remained sour and quiet while Sarah made her approach.

“Mister Tallmadge, are you sure you're feeling alright?”

Her hand came to his arm and he drew a breath, flinching and jerking out of her reach. "I'm...I-I feel quite well, thank you," he lied. "It's just...something in the air, perhaps. I'm already feeling better. I promise."

With Gregory no longer upon the scene, Sarah wasn't putting on airs or fluttering her lashes like a siren. This made her feel more familiar, like his again, and Benjamin thought of kissing her like before -- of taking her ruddy cheeks between his hands and consuming her in the way she had so cruelly consumed him -- but instead, he merely glowered down at the ground, nudging a dry patch of grass with his boot.

"The way you’re acting… If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were jealous."

Benjamin froze beneath her gaze, his face blazing white-hot. Swallowing, his throat bobbed and he took a self-protective step back, knowing full well that she held the power to wound and maim, should she so choose, and only with a small handful of words.

Sarah laughed then, almost as if she'd told a wonderful joke. "You’re not jealous are you? Because you—"

"I am not jealous," he hissed, careful to keep his voice low. "I just...I-I didn't find your behavior appropriate, that's all."

It was a lie. A bad one, at that, and when Sarah looked at him in genuine bafflement, he wished for the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

"Are you feeling afflicted again?" she pressed. "Because I meant what I said before, I'm not opposed to helping you, but we can quell your afflictions without ruining my prospects of marriage. Unless... that’s what you intend to do."

Benjamin scoffed, outraged by the implication. "So, you would wish to...to be intimate with me, while also courting my pupil?" he demanded. "I may be many things in this life, Miss Pleinsworth, but I am not a dog. The agreement, or rather, the suggestion you made was for if neither one of us was attached. But this?" He sneered, gesturing sharply in the direction Gregory left. "That is an attachment, and I will not be part of this melodrama because you are too bloody indecisive to know what it is you want! Because surely, you would never offer to be intimate with me, if you felt wholly, completely enraptured by Gregory Bridgerton!"