#mom told me it came from thailand so it came a bit late

[dakotabone1213]

LOOK AT MY LATE CHRISTMAS PRESENT

[scarletwinterxx]

Timeless pt. 1

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART TWO.5 || PART THREE || PART FOUR || PART FIVE || PART SIX || FINALE

“I’m here, i’m here I’m so sorry I’m late” 

The words rushed out of my mouth while Doyoung just looked at me with an unimpressed expression on his face. 

He looked like he has a thousand other places he’d rather be than here. I don’t blame him. I hated this too. The occasional dinner with the parents could be draining, we’re never sure what would happen.

“You’re fine, they haven’t noticed yet” he said then helped me with my bag, taking it from me and slinging it on his shoulder while I try to make myself look more presentable. 

“Traffic was bad, and my professor held me back to talk about my thesis and it’s raining outside. Everything was a mess”

A small smile appeared on Doyoung’s face, I knew it meant he understood what I was trying to say. Years of knowing him, I can already read what’s on his mind without saying a word. 

“Sounds like you had a fun day” he said making me roll my eyes in exchange, I hear him laugh a bit at my action

“You ready?” He asked me, handing me back my bag after I collected myself. He held his arm out for me to take. I took one deep breath before looping my arms with his, my hand grasping on his. The shiny ring I’ve been wearing for years on display. 

“Let’s do this.”

When we stepped in the restaurant where both of our parents were waiting, I knew we were in for a long night. There will be a lot of business talk, I already know that. With my graduation fast approaching they would probably want to talk about the wedding too. 

The plan was to get married after both of us graduated from college. Doyoung was a year ahead of me and is now working at their company while I was still attending university.

It’s my last year, a couple of months away from my graduation. We knew this dinner was going to be about the wedding.

We never really talk about it when it’s just the two of us, we don’t talk about our engagement at all. We’ve known each other pretty much our whole lives, our father’s met in their college days and are still friends until now. Somewhere along the way, they realized one has a son and one has a daughter.

We were good friends, Doyoung and I. I say were because ever since we got engaged it feels like we’ve been tiptoeing around each other. Both us didn’t know how to handle it, maybe it hasn’t sunk in yet. In our minds we were still just friends. No heavy burden set by our parents regarding our future. 

I didn’t hate our situation but do I wish it was different? Yes. 

I wish we had the choice to make this decision by ourselves.

“They’d probably start to ask about the wedding” Doyoung said from beside me, I looked up at him but he was still looking ahead of us

“I know, what do we say?” I ask him, this time he stopped walking making me halt my steps too then turned and looked down at me. I barely reached past his chin so when he looks at me he has to look down and I had to look up. 

It was cute, I used to think. 

“Say what you feel, say what you want to do. It’s our wedding. Don’t forget you call the shots” 

“As much as how fun that sounds we both know they would end up making the decisions for us” I replied back but he just shot me a quick smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He hated the fact that I was right but he didn’t want to be upset. 

“Want to just runaway and get married somewhere they don’t know?” his question made me smile and feel a bit relaxed, at least he could crack a joke here and there. It made me feel this night won’t be as bad.

“Don’t tempt me” I mumbled, holding a little tighter on his arm. Just as he was about to say another word we hear someone calling for us

“There they are. Just remember-”

“together. We’re in this together” I finished his sentence, this time a small but genuine smile appeared on his face. It was something we always say to each other whenever we had to meet with our parents. 

We are a team, him and I. Even if we’re still unsure about how we feel regarding our situation, atleast I know we’re in this together. We weren’t on opposite sides. I’m glad he never misses the chance to remind me we’re still on the same side. 

“There you are, you two look great” My mother said the moment we got to their table. We greeted all of them before taking our own seats, Doyoung pulling out the chair for me before occupying the seat beside me. 

“What took you so long?” My father asked

“It was raining and I got held up at university”

“You’re graduating this fall right?” Doyoung’s mom asked excitedly, we knew what was about to come next. 

“Yes she is, you know we should probably start planning the wedding. We’re a bit tight on schedule, we should’ve started at the beginning of this year” My mother droned out, the two matriarchs gushing on and on about our wedding. 

I looked over at Doyoung, saying ‘I told you so’ with my eyes

“Have you guys decided on a date yet?” this time all eyes were on us, the two of us exchanging looks because I wasn’t sure what to say too

“We’re not sure yet, we’ve yet to talk about it since Y/N’s been pretty busy with school. I’m sure we can plan after when her schedule’s less busy” Doyoung answered for the both of us, the words I had in mind didn’t need to be said because he already said it for me. 

He knew me too well. 

We know each other too well. 

“We can help out” my mom said, sharing a look with Doyoung’s mother to which she agreed to

“We appreciate that, thank you. We’ll tell you more once we talk about it” Doyoung answered again with a polite smile. My hand finding its way towards his, gently giving it a squeeze.

He didn’t even bat an eyelash, he just took my hand and intertwined it with his then rested it on his lap under the table. 

“How about you, dear? How have you been?” mom asked him, “He’s been doing good. I heard you’re the one who secured the merger with the Thailand branch” my dad added, he did sound genuinely impressed. 

My dad have always liked Doyoung, he was everything he wished his future son-in-law would be.

“He did, it was a smart move choosing them. Would have never thought of it myself but Doyoung convinced me otherwise” His dad said then landed a pat on Doyoung’s shoulder

“If we’re thinking about expanding, I want to be more than just in places where it’s already known. I try and think of partnerships that they would least expect, given that it’s risky but isn’t that how our business started. If we play on the safer side, we’d never see the full picture” Doyoung answered confidently, he knew what he was talking about. 

The thing about Doyoung is he was born for this. Some might think that it’s because he’s the smart guy, but really this is something that comes naturally to him. 

I’ve been a firsthand witness to his antics, multiple times during our childhood days he would bargain his lunch with mine, always setting up for a trade and somehow he would always convince me to do so. 

The rest of dinner was spent just like that, going back and forth to the topic of wedding and business. When it was time to go, we bid our goodbyes and went our own ways.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home” Doyoung said as he guide the both of us out of the restaurant. His hand on the small of my back. 

“How long do you think we have?” I asked, breaking the silence inside the car as he drives me home

“Mhm?”

“Before they ask about the wedding again”

“Before your graduation probably, if they can have it their way they would schedule a fitting for your wedding gown now” he chuckled

“Uh we kinda already did” I mumbled, I never really told him because well one it never came up two isn’t there this old belief that the groom isn’t suppose to see the wedding dress before the wedding anyways

“You did? When?”

“Like last year before Christmas, my mom and your mom thought it was the perfect time to go. I couldn’t say no”

“You didn’t call me?” he asked again, at this I smiled. I knew he was going to ask that

“You’re not suppose to see me in the dress until the wedding day, silly”

“We’re going to get married no matter what, might as well see if you look cute in it” His reason made my cheeks burn but I knew he was just teasing me

“I looked cute it in, thank you very much”

After that we just went back to the comfortable silence, for a while neither of us said anything. We enjoyed the silence, it’s never an awkward atmosphere but more comforting in a way. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re the one I’m marrying” Doyoung said out of nowhere, we were at a red light so this time he looked at me when he said this

“Well that’s good to know” I chuckled, this was the first time since we were told we were to be engaged and married that we fully acknowledge it. Most of the time we only talk about it with our parents, but right now it’s just the two of us. 

“I’m sorry if this isn’t the way you imagined getting married, you didn’t even get a proper proposal” His voice sounded sorry and sad even when he said it with a chuckle. 

I know he’s probably feeling the same way, but he didn’t have to say sorry over something we both had no control over. 

I took his hand in mine, rubbing comforting circles on the back of his hand

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault. Besides, I’m happy too”

The light turned green, instead of letting go of my hand which I thought he would do he just kept his hold on mine. One hand on the wheel and one on mine. 

“I feel like I lost a friend when they told me about the engagement. Out of everyone, I thought why you. Why did they have to take that one constant person out of my life and make it more complicated”

I’ve never heard his point of view before, I never knew that was how he felt. For so long I believed he was acting a bit cold towards me because he disliked our engagement.

It did feel like I lost a friend. Turns out he was feeling the same way, but not for the reason I thought of

“What made you change your mind about it?” I asked him

“You”

“Me?”

“My first thought was why you when it should have been why not you. No one knows me like you do, atleast I don’t have to walk on eggshells or worry over not liking my future wife”

When he said future wife I got this feeling in my chest, like my heart beat twice before returning back to normal. My cheeks starting to turn crimson again because of this guy beside me. 

“It wouldn’t be too bad to spend the rest of my life with my bestfriend, don’t you think so?” he spared me a quick glance before turning his attention back on the road. I just smiled at him, gave his hand a squeeze before turning my attention back outside.

Suddenly, this day just got a bit better.  

[deniigi]

i have been sick in bed with a stomach bug and re-reading a bunch of your series and these questions have plagued me so pls, for the sake of your fellow samuel chung lover, if sammy was in the Selkie verse, would he be a fae? if so, what kind? ALSO, what would his interactions with jack be like (either in the selkie verse or in the lying by omission verse)? pls and thanks <3

hi!

I’ll answer asks in a bit, but for this one I have a fic that explore a What If Jack Lived/Mike existed scenario with Sam in the Inimitable verse? I know it’s now what you asked for, but it is like 4k already written so that might be smth--an LBO Sam would be tricky because Sam would be itty bitty and Matt wouldn’t have the same kind of relationship with him.

As for selkie-verse Sam? I would have to do more research on Chinese spirts/fae/folklore, but for now, he’s not fae, just human 💖He’s like 12 and can make himself invisible though, which would be very confusing for Sue if she ever bumped into him

(Sue: baby boggart??? come here I love you I will look after you.)

(Sam: please stay exactly 5037 feet away from me! Thank you and I’m calling my mom!)

Here is the What If Jack and Mike thing from the Inimitable Verse.

Jack Murdock was the size of a house. He made Matt look dainty. He made Kirsten look like a kids’ mannequin. And he made Foggy laugh until he wept.

Sam could not understand a goddamn thing he said. Nor could he understand the guy he’d brought with him, who appeared to have had some serious plastic surgery to look exactly like Matt.

Sam could take an unintelligible giant. What he couldn’t take was an unintelligible Matt, and before him, somehow, in this ring of ginger, he’d been presented with two unintellible Matts.

His head was spinning.

Kirsten patted at him sympathetically.

“I’m from New York,” Sam told her mournfully.

“I know, hon.”

“How is this even possible? You’re from New York. How are they—what are they saying?”

Kirsten shook her head.

“Only Foggy knows,” she said. “It’s okay, he’ll translate when he gets back up.”

 --

 Mr. Murdock, the tallest of the gingers, might have been a good three to four inches taller than his boys, and he might have had the biggest hands that Sam had ever had the opportunity to touch in his life, but he was really nothing but a big, shaggy sheep dog.

The reasons Sam couldn’t understand a single fucking word he said came threefold.

1) Mr. Murdock had grown up in mid-century Hell’s Kitchen. That was just how accents from those parts used to sound. They’d lightened with time.

2) He had an extra layer of what Matt called a ‘brogue.’ He was first-generation American. Both his folks had immigrated from Ireland. He talked halfway between the way they talked and the way that the kids in his neighborhood growing up had.

And 3) The man had a lisp?

It wasn’t super noticeable. Sam sure as shit couldn’t hear it among the other layers of stuff going on, but Foggy said it was there.

Apparently, it came out more when he was anxious.

Apparently, he was anxious a lot.

Foggy told Sam to just give it an hour and he’d understand.

 --

  “So your name is Sam?” Mr. Murdock asked him while Sam tried to keep his mouth from falling open.

Matt was holding his facial-copy-cat against the wall by his lapels. The copy-cat had started making kissy noises at him. He egged Matt on to punch him right in the face.  

No one was stopping them.  

Kirsten cleared her throat and brought Sam back down to earth.

“Yeah,” he said. “Sam. Mr., uh—”

“Call me Jack.”

Never.

“Matty hasn’t said much about you, sorry to say.” Mr. Murdock explained. The more he spoke directly to Sam, the more Sam found, to his relief, that he could understand him. “He don’t like sharin’ things his brother can get ahold of and take from ‘im.”

Sam looked from him to the ‘brother.’

“There’s two of them?” he asked.

Mr. Murdock hummed.

“God help us, every one,” he huffed.

You can say that again.

“How long has there been two?” Sam asked hesitantly.

“Mm? Oh, uh. Christ with the math,” Mr. Murdock said, “Michael—Michael—boy, you knock that off; that’s how you lose teeth—how old are you now?”

Nevermind. Sam didn’t need to know.

“I’m ageless, Pops, remember?” ‘Michael’ said, grinning at Matt’s sneer in his face, “Everlasting, never dying. Immortal. Timeless. I’m—” Dude got the wind knocked out his sails from Matt aiming for his solar plexus instead of his face.

“Maitiú,” Mr. Murdock said sharply. “He’s your brother.”

“He earned it,” Matt snapped back at his dad. “You said ‘no teeth,’ I ain’t even touched his goddamn teeth.”

“No, you coward, you wouldn’t, would you?” Michael threw back at Matt with no sense in his head. “You scared of gettin’ stuck on all that metal, huh?”

“I ain’t got my tetanus booster,” Matt deadpanned.

“Oh, get the yellow fever one next time, it’s a hoot—”

“I’m mailing you back to Thailand in a crate.”

“Oh mail me, why don’t you?”

“I’m gonna.”

“Boys,” Mr. Murdock said, exasperated. “Knock it off. You love each other. We get it.”

Kirsten shook with giggles.

“I’d drown you in the open ocean and then kill myself,” Matt said through gritted teeth. His nose was maybe an inch from his brother’s.

Michael just beamed.

“Aw, babe. You’d do that for me?” he gushed.

“HHhhh—”

“Maitiú.”

Sam had never heard someone said ‘Matthew’ this way. It was delightful. It made Matt’s shoulders go stiff as a board and then squirm in barely contained fury.

“Thank you,” Mr. Murdock said. “Drop ‘im.”

Matt didn’t want to, but he released his grip on his sibling. Michael slipped down and then caught himself and straightened himself out.

“Well, I’ll never,” he said. “We come all this way to visit you on your deathbed and—”

“I’m not dying,” Matt said.

“—you worry Dad sick for months on end. Don’t call. Don’t write. He thought the Californians had eaten you—"

“—I told him that it was a dislocation and I’m fine—”

“—and of course I told him, ‘no Dad, there ain’t any more cannibals in California than there are in New York’ but who listens to Mike, huh?”

Mr. Murdock had only been in the house for 15 minutes and he already looked exhausted.

“Where are the dogs?” he asked Foggy.

 ---

 This was the weirdest time-out session Sam had ever experienced and he’d decided that he was living for it. Mr. Murdock went out onto the deck and locked himself out there with the dogs. Matt and his brother had never been more guilty.

Quickly the arguing turned towards scheming, which turned towards climbing out a window, which turned towards getting stuck on the roof and pleading with the Father to lend a hand.

Mr. Murdock observed Matt sobbing with laughter over Mike’s sudden anxiety of stepping from the roof to the deck’s arm railing with only hollowness.

“Mike’s not very super,” Sam pointed out to Kirsten.

“Nope,” she said brightly. “He is refreshingly normal,” she said. “Even the conman part.”

The what?

 ---

 Matt climbed off the roof with ease and took the opportunity to finally give his old man a hug, which Mr. Murdock seemed to appreciate. He smoothed a giant mitt of a hand through Matt’s hair tenderly, like he was a baby.

It was kind of cute.

Mike scowled at them both and announced that he was pretty fine, by the way. He’d just stay there on the roof until the vultures got him.

“Matt’s the younger twin,” Foggy told Sam cheerfully. “He can do no wrong.”

Sam felt like he could suddenly see the forest for the trees.

“And Mike?” he asked.

Foggy snickered.

“He and Jack live together to keep each other in good cardiac shape,” he said. “They drive each other nuts.”

“But they still live together?” Sam clarified.

“Yeah,” Foggy said. “Mike’s what happens when you give a used-car salesman ever so slightly too much brain. He travels all over. Gets shot at and held hostage a lot. He’ll do just about anything for a couple bucks, no matter how hard Jack’s tried to get him to go straight over the years.”

“And Mr. Murdock? He doesn’t mind his son living with him?” Sam asked.

Kirsten and Foggy softened.

“Matt used to check on him more when we lived back home,” Foggy said. “Without him and Mike, Jack’s by himself. He’s got friends and work, yeah, but you know. If it weren’t for Mike, he’d come home to an empty apartment every night. Man’s got too much head trauma for that to be any kind of good. Mike looks after him—probably more than he lets anyone else. He’s too stubborn to let Matt try to help him.”

Aw, cute.

“Be prepared, Sammy,” Foggy said. “Jack’s already adopted you.”

Say what now?

 ---

 Mr. Murdock didn’t outright say that Sam was puny and he was going to fix it, but Sam could see it in his disappointed gaze.

“Don’t like bread?” he asked as Sam chewed his way through an Uncrustable at the kitchen table. Sam froze with the sandwich in hand. He stared at it.

It was bread.

Surely, this was bread.

Right?

“Uh?” he tried.

“Don’t like the crusts?” Mr. Murdock asked him more gently.

Oh.

“I don’t mind them, these are premade though. You know, convenient,” Sam explained.

He got a stare impossible to read.

“Stay there,” Mr. Murdock decided.

It took too long for Sam’s brain to work out what had just happened, and by the time it had, it was too late. Matt stuck his head in the room and asked Sam why he’d told his dad that Matt was starving him.

Sam floundered and tried to explain the sandwiches. Matt absorbed this and rolled his whole head.

“Well, now he’s makin’ a week’s worth for you,” he sighed. “Wants you to eat the crust.”

Dude.

“It’s easier not to question it,” Matt sighed. “What kind of jelly do you want?”

 ---

 Matt didn’t interrogate his father, but Mike did. Unrepentantly. He walked in as Sam was emphasizing that he didn’t want any kind of jelly and he’d make his own sandwiches and understood the entire situation faster than Sam could have possibly explained it.

“FATHER,” he roared. “Leave the boy alone, he’s not starvin’, he’s just short.”

Flattering. Thanks, asshole.

There was no response from the kitchen. Matt told Mike to ease off. Mr. Murdock was trying to be nice.

“There’s nice and then there’s rude,” Mike said.

“And you’re rude?” Matt offered.

There was a pause.

A warm hand found the space in between Sam’s shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry about both of ‘em, kid, they got rocks for brains, it ain’t their fault. Our grandfather was a caveman, you know how it is,” Mike said kindly.

Matt was not amused.

“It’s not a big deal,” he repeated. “I’ll eat ‘em if Sam doesn’t want ‘em.”

“And subject yourself to peanut butter hell for multiple days in a row, Maitiú?” Mike asked, scandalized.

Matt glared in the direction of the stairs.

“Some of us enjoy nut protein,” he said.

Sam blinked in shock as big hands slapped themselves over his ears.

“There are children present,” Mike hissed.

Sam found the guy’s middle fingers and yanked. Mike swore. Matt chuckled.

“He ain’t a baby,” he said fondly. “Sam’s a tough cookie.”

You’re damn right he was.

“Charming,” Mike grumbled as Matt abandoned them for the kitchen again. He scowled down at Sam. “What’s your gimmick then?” he asked.

Sam wondered if he could make his contacts come out by blinking slowly enough. It would be cool as fuck. It definitely wasn’t happening.

“I control typhoons,” he said.

Mike winced.

“Fuckin’ vigilantes,” he said.

 ---

 Mr. Murdock gave Sam a second sandwich. He’d cut it into quarters.

“Matt says you don’t like jelly,” he said. “Bananas are better?”

Sam couldn’t help but like him.

“Yeah. I don’t eat much bread generally,” he said. “My family has always been more about rice.”

Mr. Murdock analyzed him.

“I can do rice,” he said.

Bless. It was okay, really.

“Do you like spicy things, Mr. Murdock?” Sam asked.

“Jack.”

Nice try.

“Spicy?” Sam repeated.

Mr. Murdock considered it.

“Not sure,” he said. “You mean like hot sauce? I ain’t fuck with that ghost pepper shit.”

Sam hummed.

“Before you leave, I’ll cook for you in return,” he said. “I won’t make it too spicy, cross my heart.”

Mr. Murdock considered this and then got a look in his eye that made Sam’s cheeks start to ache a little.

 ---

 Matt told Sam to play nice. Matt told his father to play nice.

There was to be no hiding chilis in Mike’s pasta.

They were caught and scolded.

“Not to worry,” Mr. Murdock told Sam fondly, “There are other ways.”

 ---

 Sam had never seen such outrage over a knot in a shoelace. Matt crossed his arms over his chest, seconds away from tapping his own foot.

“You said you were ready,” he reminded Mike for the fourth time.

“I know what I said,” Mike snapped at him. He’d dug through all the kitchen drawers to procure a metal skewer to apply to this situation.

“We’re going to be late,” Matt said. “I wait for my guide, she doesn’t wait for me.”

“Well she’s waitin’ today,” Mike said. “I swear to god—”

Mr. Murdock stroked the top of Tuesday’s head and asked Mike if he’d tried putting baby powder on it. Mike spat at him to mind his own business and went back to the knot. He managed it get it untangled and the shoe half on just in time to find the second one stuck in the third hole down.

He just about vibrated with fury.

Matt sighed loudly.

“Borrow mine already,” he said.

“Never.”

“Mike.”

“They’re blue. This outfit tolerates only warm colors, Matthew. ONLY warms.”

“We’re late.”

“Style waits for no man.”

“Well, clearly that ain’t the case, is it?”

Mike stood up sharply.

“I’m going to change,” he said. “And whatever elf tied these will rue the day. Mark my words.”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll tell the elf—oh, my bad, the clown, Mike. It’s you. Get your life together. We’re late.”

Hilarious.

 ---

  “Why don’t you move out here?” Sam asked Mr. Murdock as he watched Sam sand away at his latest secret project in Matt’s absence.

“Sun’ll kill me,” Mr. Murdock deadpanned.

“I thought so too, but it’s not so bad,” Sam said. “I miss the snow sometimes.”

Mr. Murdock cocked his head and then knelt down to take the sanding block out of Sam’s hands. He gestured for Sam to give him the hunk of wood in his hands, too.

“Matty says you don’t got papers,” he said.

Sam was surprised. Matt usually kept that secret locked tight. But Mr. Murdock didn’t seem to have any adverse reaction to it.

“No,” Sam admitted. “My mom brought me here when I was really little. I didn’t know what it meant to overstay a visa.”

Mr. Murdock hummed.

“Makes flying tricky,” he said.

Yeah.

“Bus, not too bad, though?”

Mm. Bus was better, yes.

“Train?”

Depended on the train.

“Hm. Well, if you get homesick or need busfare, you just give a shout, ya hear? You’re always welcome to stay with us.”

Aww.

“Or if you really hate yourself, I’m sure Mike would love to come pick you up.”

Oh god.

“He can drive?” Sam asked.

Mr. Murdock paused and held his face in his dusty palm.

“The day he got his license was the worst day of my life,” he said.

Sam snickered.

“Did you guys drive all the way here?” he asked.

“No, thank god.”

“Can you drive?”

“Son.”

Sam looked up from the block of wood into Mr. Murdock’s hazel eyes.

“I take two steps out of New York and I’m gone, that’s me dead. No, I don’t drive. Why the hell would I drive? Where the hell am I goin’?”

Wow, mood.

“I tried to drive once,” Sam said. “Reversed into a fire hydrant. Matt laughed so hard he cried.”

Mr. Murdock handed back the woodblock. It was much smoother than it had been. Sam was chocking that up to the muscles and the practice.

 ---

 Matt and Mike got home and Mike announced that he was disowning that ‘putrid being’ that was the Swamp Monster beside him. Matt told Mr. Murdock that Mike didn’t approve of the swimming part of triathlon.

Mr. Murdock picked leaves out of his hair with supreme patience.

 ---

 “So Dad’s officially decided that you’re his grandson,” Mike informed Sam out of nowhere that Sunday. “He prayed for you at church today.”

Sam almost dropped his wrench. That was so endearing his teeth hurt.

“It’s ‘cause I do woodwork,” he said. “He can smell the handyman on me.”

Mike cocked his head to the side. His eyes were blue like Matt’s. Their mom must have had blue eyes—or maybe hazel like Mr. Murdock’s.

“No,” Mike said. “It’s ‘cause he’s also been a grocery bagger, a janitor, and a contractor.”

He what now?

“He wants to know why you aren’t in college.”

Oh. well—

“Matt tried to explain, but you know, it ain’t clickin’. He don’t get the politics part of things sometimes. Gets confused why people make such a big deal when there’s obvious solutions in front of ‘em. It’s not all his fault, he barely got a highschool diploma back when ‘critical thinking’ wasn’t even a testing category. Anyways, he wants you to go to college. Thinks you’re too smart to be pushin’ paper.”

Sam was going to cry.

“I think he sees a lot of Matt in you,” Mike said with a squint. “So just as a warning, he’s unbearable. Always—well, no. More like 95% of the year. He’s alright around New Years when he’s tired. You can tell him to fuck off at any time, though.”

No, no. It was okay. It was nice to have…more family. That’s what it was.

“I hope you know what this means, Samuel,” Mike said.

Mmm no?

Mike’s hand clasped his shoulder.

“You can call me ‘uncle,’” he said.

Ah.

No, thanks.

 ---

 Foggy and Kirsten couldn’t look at Sam without bursting into merciless laughter, which Sam had realized was a result of Mike’s vocal distress at his rejected offer of uncle-dom. Sam didn’t know what to tell him.

Mr. Murdock was nice. Enormous, yes, but very well meaning and gentle. His and Sam’s priorities and experience in life aligned neatly and Sam was slightly charmed by the way that he expressed himself verbally only to Matt and Mike.

Sam also didn’t hate Mike. He just didn’t want him to have uncle privileges. He didn’t see what was difficult about this.

“Mike’s got a history of rejection,” Foggy said. “And by that, I mean that every woman on the eastern seaboard has rejected him and he tries anyways.”

 ---

 Matt came downstairs and told Sam to ignore everything Mike said to him all day. He also said that they were going out that night, so don’t burn fingers on the soldering iron.

Sam saluted in acknowledgement.

Forty minutes later there was a rap at his door followed by Mike saying through it that he wanted to show Sam something.

Sam did not open the door.

He heard Matt’s name being cursed on the other side.

 ---

 Twenty minutes later there was another knock, this time with Mike saying that Mr. Murdock wanted to bond with Sam.

Sam nudged open his curtains and squinted hard into the backyard where he could see the vague shape of Matt chatting to his dad on the deck stairs, both apparently having a beer and shooting the shit.

This was a scam.

Sam would not be scammed.

He went back to the suit.

There was more cursing outside the door.

 ---

 About half an hour later, there was a knock, followed by Mr. Murdock’s voice this time, asking Sam if his shoes were supposed to be on the front porch.

They were not.

This was playing dirty.

Sam ventured out to go right this wrong and ended up outside on the front porch with the conman himself. Mike closed the door after him triumphantly and proceeded to get them both locked out.

“Are you supposed to be a good conman or?” Sam asked.

Mike gaped at him.

“The best conman,” he said. “Don’t worry, kid, I’ve broken into a thousand houses and won two horses. I’ve got this.”

That was not comforting. Sam was not comforted.

“First, we gotta test all the windows, and, failing that, we get a rock or a gun,” Mike told him with a knowing finger.

Sam blinked at it and then up at Mike. The man’s shoulders twitched.

“Uh?” Mike said.

Ah. The eyes. No contacts today.

“Do you like them? They’re Prada,” Sam said to absolute silence.

“A brick,” Mike announced abruptly. “A brick works too. Like a rock but bigger.”

Okay, so they weren’t talking about it, gotcha. Look, a whole family’s worth of repression styles. Sam was glad that they had a full set of methods.

 ---

 Sam broke into his own bedroom through the window. Mike clapped for him outside. Sam opted to leave him there.

 ---

 He was sort of sad to see the Murdocks go, especially after seeing the effect that the most senior of them had on Matt.

Sam hadn’t seen him this chilled out. He visibly relaxed under his dad’s hand on the back of his neck. He tolerated the fussing and constant hair fixing and the fingers brushing at his cheeks and elbows. Mr. Murdock guided him with the same practiced ease that Foggy and Kirsten did, but his guiding was accompanied by a quiet, ongoing commentary about the street around them, which Sam hadn’t actually heard Foggy do in the same kind of way.

It was like Mr. Murdock was telling Matt a story everywhere they went.

He told him when there were flags hanging up a story above, waving in the wind. He told him about the hanging wire baskets of flowers that Sam forgot about. He huffed a bit while he talked about lines of traffic in the street and a vast lack of color in the group due to the absence of so many yellow cabs.

Mr. Murdock of course, had been Matt’s first ever guide. It only made sense that he had a specialized style of it, just for Matt.

And for Matt’s sake, Sam didn’t want him to go, but alas, New Yorkers, man. The city called them back to the coast like a siren.

“You take it easy, y’hear, kiddo?” Mr. Murdock told him at the airport.

Sam smiled and said that he’d try.

“Take care of yourself. I mean that. Out at night too.”

Copy that, big guy.

“Give us a hug.”

Oh??? A hug??? Sam loved hugs. Hugs were great. He was—er. Leaving this one with double the ribs from the cracks apparently.

Mr. Murdock released him to go break Matt in half and then Foggy and then Kirsten. Mike told him that he couldn’t avoid flying again by hugging people. He also warned Kirsten that he’d see her soon and that then, she was sure to fall for his charms.

Kirsten said that she would be waiting with bated breath, and then that was it. Three Murdocks again whittled down to one.

“God, I should have married your dad,” Foggy moaned.

Matt laughed at him.

“He’s plenty busy avoiding the gaze of every person over sixty in his building. Let him live,”  he said. “Sam? Not too traumatized, I hope?”

Mm. Not so bad.

“Are you sure Mike’s your brother?” he asked.

“Unfortunately.”

Too bad.

“It’s fine, if we ever need a guy to distract the police, we’ve got him on retainer.”

That was true.

“They’ll come back?” Sam asked.

Matt paused before feeling for his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he said. “Or we’ll go to them. I think you’d enjoy watching them in their natural environment.”

 -----------

Hope that’s something for you anon!! I also hope you feel better!

[soooldout]

201027 Sungyeol is Back Vlive with Sunggyu

He started the show with a military style greeting, and then continued with 'hello everyone, I'm Infinite's Sungyeol!'

He said that it was awkward for him to host the show alone, so he invited a special guest…Infinite's Sunggyu!

SG: *greets*

SY: whoaaa an idol an idol

He said that it was awkward when he was in the military, when he and his military fellows watched TV together and saw Sunggyu wishing the Infinite members who were in the military strength “I saw someone who I usually saw on a daily basis on TV! I didn't know what to feel. You knew how we feel and yet you said something like that jokingly”

SG: I really meant to give you strength though, not to tease you!

SG: How do you feel now

Sungyeol said he got discharged from military and society in general was awkward for him …he's still trying to get used to being a part of society (and not 'isolated' when he's in the military) He was doing whatever he was told and now after so long he can do whatever he wants

SG: Do you want me to order you around then? (afkljdsg;h)

Sungyeol said that he regretted that he didn’t follow Sunggyu when he enlisted. He thought that it would’ve been much better to go through the hardship with Sunggyu by his side

Sunggyu said he had recommended to all members to go enlist together but either Woohyun/Sungyeol said "Hyung, just go first~ we'll go later"

They argued a bit about the above and Sungyeol said, you want us to fight in front of the fans?

More bickering: They almost missed the vlive today coz Sungyeol was late to go to the hair salon, yeol is saying he ordered food and went to change and when he came back to the food he only found half of it…Sunggyu ate it and didn’t wait for him jaslkf;gs

Q: What is something you wanted to tell fans as soon as you get discharged?

SY: The fact that I cried..I found a side of me that I didn’t even know existed

Sungyeol said that he earned 7 minutes of phonecall after going through training for a month, and he called Sunggyu, his mom, CEO but no one picked up because it was an unknown number. He cried as he missed everyone so much. "I didn’t know that I was that much of a crybaby until then”

Sunggyu cried once, Woohyun cried a lot after enlisting too :(

Sunggyu’s finishing up the last performances of Kinky Boots and prepping for online concert.

They asked when is Halloween is then Sungyeol said Daeyeol asked him if it's ok for him to cosplay as Sungyeol for Halloween. Gyuyeol then said then Sungyeol can cosplay as Daeyeol for halloween, and sungyeol/'daeyeol' can 'join' golden child lmao

Q: 10 years ago after military you said you wanted to try trot, do you still have that thought now?

Sungyeol said he had that thought but the ceo turned it down. Sunggyu added that the ceo had his best interest in mind as trot may not be the best for his image. Sungyeol said he was ahead of his time because trot is the trend nowadays. Sunggyu agreed.

SY: if there's a chance I still wanna try (…….let him do what he wants please you haven’t learned your lesson yet ljy its been 10 yrs….)

Q: when did you miss your family the most?

SY: the moment I went in I missed everyone. not just my family.

SG: when did you miss/think of Sunggyu the most?

SY: The first day I was in the military!

He said pretty much every time Sunggyu did something, he thought 'did Sunggyu-hyung do this? did Sunggyu-hyung do that?'

Q: when in the military, when did you feel 'ah I’m part of Infinite'?

SY: basically said as soon as I entered. During the basic military training ceremony they even played Infinite songs, and everyone who saw me would do the naekkohaja gesture

Q: It would be good if you could do a solo fanmeet/album, when will that be?

SY: I would like that too, but I just finished military service (Sunggyu shot him saying that he could have started planning for this when he's still enlisted lmao and that he can do an online concert now)

Before enlisting Sungyeol said he'll try to be active on social media more frequently/longer, but he said he doesn’t know how to do it for a long time? Someone suggested in the comments to learn from Woohyun (yes please)

Sungyeol and Sungjong (or Woohyun? Not sure there are different translations for this part) lived in the same building. Sungyeol said Sungjong is so talkative these days, and he’s bored. He talked about how Sungjong suddenly came over to his place with coffee for him, ever since that day he's been going over to Sungyeol's place for meals almost everyday

Now that Sungyeol is discharged he was visiting his family and settling his own stuff. One day Sungjong asked him what he's doing, and that day Sungyeol happened to plan to visit his grandparents and sungjong went “OH REALLY? I WANNA GO TOO!”

Sungyeol thought, ok there's a familiar visitor his family would be glad to see him too. Turns out Sungjong was busily chatting nonstop during the entire 3 hour journey down (this is the cutest thing ever please)

Sungyeol is thankful that Sunggyu talked him out of enlisting in the navy

Q: did you count down to your discharge date?

SY: for these kind of things, time goes faster when you don’t keep thinking about it!

He also said that there were times even he doesn’t remember how many days he has left but when he searched his name you could see the "d-XXX" too

SG: Dongwoo’s discharge is on the 15th the same day as my online concert

SY: then we can do this together

SG: why me

SY: are you not Infinite?

SG: I am Infinite. I am Infinite’s leader!

SY: Then why don’t you want to do it

SG: Why are you making the decision alone!

gyuyeol just did a brief explanation/disclaimer that they may sound like they're quarrelling but it's basically just excited conversations because they haven’t hung out like this for a while 😊

SG: What does MBTI stand for?

SY: Mental Brain Tie/Tee Eye (lmaoo)

Sungyeol said he will do the test sometime.

*Sungyeol talking, Sunggyu reaches over to get food*

SY: excuse me I'm talking and you're eating??????

SG: Everyone we almost couldn’t make it for the live because Sungyeol was late! he left the shop at 6:30 and our live's at 7! He was eating too!

SY: I WAS NOT LATE that was my first meal! –

SY: and it’s been so long since I got to meet the fans so I wanted to do my hair nicely. And I didn’t even finish my food

Question about mint chocolate

Sungyeol doesn’t eat sweet stuff - chocolate/mint chocolate, cream etc. (for health reasons apparently)

Sungyeol talked about how well Sunggyu did in Kinky Boots

Q: to Sungyeol, musical <Return> is?

SY: a place where I can meet Sunggyu and it was an adventure for me and I met fans through it too

sg promoting <The Day> (his online concert) then said Sungyeol said he's gonna be present too so let's see whether he'll keep his promise

SY: of course. What shall we do when I’m there?

SG: ...let's have a meal?!?! (ok…lmao)

someone mentioned 'tell me 1st promise'

SY: do you remember?

SG: no. you're the one who said it

SY: ah was it the choochoo (train) one?

SG: you can do it (since you're the one who proposed it)

There was some chaos at this point with Sungyeol talking over him and Sunggyu said ‘ok Noisy’ kjlsgf;hgdkk

The following story was mentioned in the 10th anniversary live with Kim bros as well lmao he really won’t let this go:

There was a time when they went to a beach in Thailand and Sunggyu didn’t wanna go into the water because his condition was not good and he didn’t like water etc and Namu and Yeol went up and asked if he wanna go in but he said no. Namu left him alone but then Yeol went something like "LOL YEAH RIGHT" and threw Sunggyu into the water. And he lost his ring so he got really mad.

SG: I told you not to do it!

SY: You always say ‘no’…I thought you were lying and I was young and just wanted to do it

SG: Next time just listen to me

Q: What do you think about doing an exercising broadcast

SG: Yes, can you show your six pack…

SY: No, not to that extent

Q: what was the reason you became obsessed with working out?

SY: there wasn’t really a reason, simply because I did it regularly. e.g. regularly working out for a period of time then stopping, ~6 months later I was regularly working out again so I thought I might as well just make it a regular thing

SG: but what made you start?

*more bickering*

SY: it’s because you told me I have small shoulders

SY: Wow all we have done for an hour is fight

They talked about younger idols covering their songs and how amazed they were. They said thank you to everyone 💛

Q: Any fun incident from the military?

SG: The military is not fun as you guys think

SY: When I enlisted, the leader told the other soldiers not to pay attention to Sungyeol (As he is an idol and to not bother him) but that made him feel kind of lonely (aww)

Q: choose between going back to the military again or trainee days again?

SY: Wow. this is like asking to choose dad or mom

He chose trainee because he did his military really well so if he were to do it again he doesn’t know if he can do it as well as the first time. but he has lots of 'I could’ve done it better' moments during his trainee days so he'd rather do trainee period again and this time do it better

He said that when they were trainees, they were laying down on a rooftop watching the sky and saw fireworks. Apparently, there was Dream Concert happening nearby. He wondered if they would be able to perform at Dream Concert too someday (TT)

Q: Was there anything different about what you heard about the military and when you're actually there?

SY: the fact that I have to take care of myself more

Q: the thing you wanted to do the most in the military

SY said having a different exercise routine (bc you do the same thing everyday in military? idk)

sg: to Sungyeol, what is exercising?

SY: Something I have to do everyday

He said gyu turned him into a sinner on broadcast by saying that Sungyeol forced him to exercise (lmaooo)

Sungyeol's 'to-do' list:

- MBTI

- tell me 'choo-choo' win promise (YES FINALLY ITS BEEN 2.5 YRS)

- go on a trip

- do a dance from his musical audition

Sungyeol said when Sunggyu's enlistment had less than 100 days left, Sungyeol put some distance from Sunggyu because he was afraid if he was too close with gyu till he finished his military then he'd feel lonely when gyu discharged.

Then Sunggyu said "oh you're weaker than I expected"

 SY to SG: I wasn’t like you who had the thought of ‘when else will I be able to eat this much?’ In the military, I always kept in mind to manage myself, how to look even better when I get discharged

SG: but.. you ate chicken with mee?? (haha cuute)

SG: *reads out a question about Yeol performing as Freddie Mercury*

SY: *drinking water* *chokes* Someone took a video of that???

SG: Sungyeol prepared so hard for that performance when he doesn’t prepare that hard for our concerts..

Sungyeol wanted to do the men's health magazine photoshoot too he's sad he wasn't given that opportunity. (you can do it now…do everything now while Sunggyu has power)

Comment about how good he looks in his military uniform, and Sungyeol said, yes I know

Q: When do you miss the members most

SY: I saw Sunggyu and Woohyun quite a bit…the thing I miss most is the end of year fanmeeting and doing the New Year countdown together

They showed the cake that said ‘Let’s protect Inspirits now instead of the country’ and Sunggyu said to cheer for Sungyeol a lot

💛💛💛

Translations from yeolsprout, Lusneverland, naggyu, hoslastjuliet, jibeomiejjang on Twitter

[dragonrajafanfiction]

First Day of School

This is just something that came to my head and I figured I’d write it down before I got it... Ru’Yi’s first day at Cassell College. Please enjoy.

======================

Ru’Yi pulled her shoulder bag a bit higher and she took a deep breath. Her parents stood side by side in the doorway of the cozy Chicago Townhouse.

“Okay... I ... guess I’ll see you on spring break?” Ru’Yi said, shrugging.

“Call us when you get there.” Her mother gave her a kiss on the cheek. 

It was January 10th, the official start of Spring 2020 semester. Her father, Chu Zihang, and mother, Bai Meixiu, had enrolled her this year even though her dragonblood had been awakened all her life and she already knew her Soul Skill. She wasn’t going there to learn Dragonslaying or to become the hero of the world. It was just that her father and mother wanted her to have the best possible education among people like her. 

Hybrids.

Unlike most hybrids, she didn’t grow up feeling the Blood Cry. She knew exactly who she was. Her father, Chu Zihang, was an A-rank powerhouse who had mastered the notoriously uncontrollable Jun-Yan - Royal Fire. He could summon flames so hot they could melt glass and metal. 

Not only that, he knew the secret technique of Blood Rage, that could forcibly increase his purity to dangerous levels. He was a near unstoppable force. Not only that, he was peerless in martial arts and hacking. He was also very handsome, with dark hair, pale skin, and mysteriously golden eyes.

Her mother, Bai Meixiu, was even higher, Rank-S with three Souls Skills under her belt. She could Teleport anywhere she could visualize, summon blades of light and control them with a thought. But most terrifyingly, she could control the dragonblood purity of other hybrids. No Hybrid could ever stand before Ru’Yi’s mother without express permission. But looking at her, she was a petite black woman, well dressed and polite, who loved to dance.

To Ru’Yi, they were just mom and dad.

“One more thing...” Chu Zihang looked at his daughter, his expression serious.

“Yes, Dad?”

“If you ever meet a boy...” His eyes seem to glow behind the dark glasses. “I need you to tell me right away.”

“Zihang!” Meixiu protested. “Can you not! She’s old enough to make her own decisions!”

“It’s not that I want to influence your decisions... I just want to know about him. What’s his name? Where is he from! I want to know everything about this boy!” Zihang looked into her eyes with a sense of near desperation.

Ru’Yi gave a nervous laugh. “Don’t worry, Dad, I don’t think boys will be a big issue...”

Ru’Yi sighed to herself. Her father and mother were quite famous. Even while they toured the campus, most of the boys took on a ‘look and don’t touch’ posture, practically saluting in reverence to her father and not even looking at her. Who wants to date Chu Zihang’s daughter?

“Anyway, I’ll call you when I get there!”

The cab blew the horn, signaling his arrival. She gave her parents one last wave before heading away.

She got into the cab and looked up at the driver. “Subway station please!”

She put in her earbuds and started listening to her favorite song. She looked out the window. Her parents were waving her good bye. They kept waving.

She smiled, chest filling with excitement, she started to bounce and sing, giving finger guns to people out on the street. For the first half of her life, she lived isolated in Thailand. Her family lived far away because they wanted to get away from the life they had before, full of conflict and violence. Her father and mother only told her a little about how her life began, in chaos, filled with evil people who pursued them.

But things were different now. The evil was vanquished and the people running the school were their friends. They could finally live in peace. 

But once Ru’Yi turned 14, they realized that living on an isolated island wasn’t good for her so they returned to the city.

Ru’Yi loved it. She could go shopping every day, there was a neighborhood of kids her age instead of just a few. And there were burritos and sushi and ramen! So much good food! She never wanted to go back to living on an island again.

The cab stopped across from the entrance to the station and she paid the fare and got out, still humming to herself. She waited for the light to turn and stepped off the curb to cross.

The sudden sound of screeching tires made her turn and look. Her vision was full of the radiator and bright headlights of a truck. It was too late to get out of the way. The driver looked into her eyes and realized what was about to happen.

Ru’Yi closed her eyes, waiting for the impact.

But the impact never came. She opened her eyes and she was off her feet, in the embrace of a stranger.

She looked up into a pair of brown eyes who looked down at her.

 “Oh my gosh! That was close! Thank you so much!” She gasped.

“No need to thank me.” His voice was deep. He was taller, with brown hair and was wearing a camel colored coat. “Are you alright?”

“Yes... thanks to you.” 

He set her down safely on the sidewalk and quickly started to walk away.

“Wait! What’s your name!” She ran after him as he descended the stairs to the subway. When she reached the stairs, he was gone.

She kept looking for him, scanning her fare card and wandering the platform. But he was nowhere to be found.

She had to catch her train.

She turned and made her way back to the platform to wait. She sat down on the bench, feeling her heart rate return to normal. She could have died! He must have been really fast to get her out of the way of the truck. She had frozen like a... well... like a deer in the headlights!

She heard the squeal of a train’s brakes. A short train, sleek like a bullet and displaying the World Tree symbol of Cassell pulled into the station in front of her. A man in a corduroy green uniform and formal top hat stepped out and bowed deeply. “Miss Chu. Your train has arrived.”

“My train?”

“Yes. You have been ruled a preliminary S-Rank hybrid. Therefore, the S-rank train has come to pick you up.” 

She looked at it. It looked to only have two cars, the engine and the passenger car. People were staring at her, wondering who she had to be to get her own train.

Ru’Yi stood up, stunned. She carried herself and her luggage, following the man in the uniform. She stepped into plush surroundings. The train was wood paneled on the interior, full of fresh flowers and potpourri. There was even a bottle of wine waiting for her in the cooler.

She sat down in the red velvet seat, her mind still reeling from her close call and the mysterious man who saved her.

“Can I get you anything else?” The man asked.

“Oh... are there any other hybrids coming today?” She asked.

“Oh, quite a few! But you’re the only S among them.” He gave her a kind smile.

She nodded. “Okay...”

The train took off silently increasing to incredible speed out of  the station. They disappeared into the tunnel, blazing down the usual route all trains took until it split off into its own track, aiming directly for a dense forest specially planted as cover for the route to Cassel College.

The trees were a blur of brown, black and green. She gathered her bags to herself. Her dad and mom had taken this same route and now she was going too. Like generations of Hybrids before her, Ru’Yi would be taking her own journey.

She burst into blinding light and the campus came into view, stately buildings up an artificial hillside split by canals and bridges. She was finally here!

The train squealed to a halt and the doors slid open.

Ru’Yi stood in confusion as hundreds of students milled everywhere, looking down at applications and up at signs pointing them where to go.

She patted her pockets. Right, she would need her application! She pulled the white sheet of paper out. “Please report to professor Miranis in room AB5 of the Hall of Valor...” She said to herself. She turned to walk and look for a sign for the sign of the Hall of Valor. 

She immediately collided with someone, falling backwards.

“Ah! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” came a distraught voice.

Ru’Yi gathered herself up, “It’s okay! Are you okay?” 

The dark haired young man was patting around the ground. His sunglasses were resting nearby him. She quickly gathered them up before someone could step on them.

“Here. Here you are.” She handed them to him. 

He reached out blindly. His eyes were a gorgeous violet hue that Ru’Yi had never seen before, the color of lavender. But they stared blankly into the distance.

He was blind.

She quickly got him to his feet. “Are you looking for Valor Hall?” She asked him.

“Yes. Actually. Can you help me find it?” He laughed a bit nervous. “Sorry for the trouble.”

“Not at all.” She put the glasses in his hand. 

“Someone said it was this way.” 

She looked in the direction he was facing and saw the sign.  “They were right. Are you here by yourself? Shouldn’t someone be with you?” She took his elbow and walked slowly but steadily.

He stammered, panting with exertion. “Well... I mean, yes but... like... it wouldn’t matter really. I have to get used to being blind on my own. It’s... kind of a long story, but ... my Soul Skill allows me to see. Without it, I can’t. They don’t let you use Soul Skills here so.. it’s kinda hopeless.”

“Wait... you could see before you got here?”

“Yes. Well... yes...” He frowned a bit. “I knew my vision would be affected but not this much. “

“Then you can’t read braille or anything? How are you going to study?”

“Books on tape?”

“Oh my goodness.” She put her hand on her face.

“My name’s Tom by the way. Thomas Allman. And you?”

“Chu... Chu Ru’yi.”

“Chu...” He suddenly stopped. “Wait. Chu Ru’Yi? Is your dad Chu Zihang?” His eyes widened.

“Yes...” Ru’Yi sighed. 

“Oh wow! I... I’m so sorry I ran into you but... I’m so happy I ran into you! I’m a big fan!” An excited grin wreathed his face. “I’ve admired him ever since I was little. The unquenchable Golden Pupils!”

Yes, the golden light never left her father’s eyes. It was more of a burden than an asset though. Many people found his eyes terrifying, and for hybrids especially, those eyes had the effect of recalling to their minds the sacred words of the Dark King, Imperium, which gave people the urge to kneel before him. It was an unsettling feeling. Chu Zihang wore sunglasses and contacts to prevent people from feeling discomfort around him.

“See I kind of have the same problem.” Thomas explained.

“What do you mean? Your eyes aren’t yellow.”

“They are when I use my Soul Skill and I use my Soul Skill to see!” He explained.

“Oh... that’s right!”

“I have to wear contacts and sunglasses and things but... the contacts dry my eyes out so bad! Can you ask your dad what he wears? … Which brand?”

“Sure, I can do that.”

He started to blush bright red. “I still can’t believe I met you on my first day. I’m really super lucky!”

Ru’Yi gave a little laugh, unsure of what to say.

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

when/how did you realize you were gay?

I've avoided answering this question properly ever since I started this blog, but I think it's about time I get yapping. Maybe if I tell my story it'll help someone.

It started when I was about 5-6 years old. I was watching TV in the living room while my mom was running various errands around the house. The 2008 gay pride parade was on the news, but I didn't know what being gay meant. So I asked my mom, and she told me. Afterwards, I thought to myself: "Hey... I wouldn't mind being with a girl." I didn't give the word "gay" a thought again for many years to come.

Throughout primary and early middle school, all the girls around me were developing crushes on boys. I thought my crush would come eventually, but it never did. When my classmates kept pestering me about who I 'liked', I just made up a crush on a random guy.

Then came junior high, and at around age 13 people were having their first kisses and getting into their first relationships. I felt like I was gonna get left behind, so I found the first guy who showed interest in me and chose him to be the first human I kissed. I got a very non-threatening vibe from this guy. One day while he and I were talking inside one of the classrooms at school, he just kissed me. I felt... nothing. I was hoping that I'd finally feel at least a little spark... but no. Absolutely nothing. I tried to kiss him again, thinking that maybe the second time would do it, but nothing again. But then, he wanted to kiss me with tongue. As soon as he mentioned this, something in me just fired. Like I absolutely could NOT let this happen. It's been few times in my life that a gut feeling gave me the cue to leave a place so strongly, but I immediately felt the need to RUN. I broke things off with him and funny enough, he was very respectful about it. Never approached me with romantic intent again. 

Not even a month later, a new milestone came. I was playing truth or dare with some friends and got dared to kiss a girl. I never met her before or saw her after that day. She and I went into a closet, and it just happened. It was very short and dispassionate, but for the first time, I felt something. I felt alive. It was something I had never felt before, especially compared to the nothingness I felt when kissing that guy. 

Naturally, I freaked out about that. I couldn't possibly be a LESBIAN. What if people around me got suspicious? That couldn't happen. So I found the nearest male to me who was willing to date and made him my boyfriend. I kissed him a few times and the same thing happened from the first time I kissed a guy- I felt nothing. The upside was that I had a bit of a crush on his twin sister, and could use my relationship with him to be near her. She and I were in different social circles and otherwise never hung out. Shortly after this boy and I started dating, their whole family moved to Thailand. I saw an opportunity- if I kept a long distance relationship with this guy, I could be safe from people suspecting I was a lesbian, but I didn't have to kiss him or anything like that. So we kept our relationship for about 8 months. However, I knew there was something wrong. I didn't think of myself as a lesbian necessarily, but I knew it wasn't right with this guy. Every time I even touched him, I had this horrible feeling in my chest. Like.. my heart felt cold. Not in a metaphorical way- my heart literally felt like it was freezing inside my chest. It was wrong and everything in me told me to get away, but I didn't. I stayed. 

Eventually, we both had enough with each other and peacefully broke it off. The relationship lasted about 10 months. I didn't care about his sister anymore and had moved on with my life. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders! After I was free from this relationship, I went through a period of self-reflection. Sincere, raw, self-reflection. I thought about all the signs since my childhood that pointed to me being attracted to women. I thought about my future and how I could only ever see myself marrying a woman. One day, I was sitting in the bathtub, when it all clicked. I literally said to myself: "Caralho, eu sou lésbica." (Fuck, I'm a lesbian). It was a TERRIFYING realisation. (When this happened I was 14, approaching my 15th birthday). I hoped that it wasn't true. I hoped my realisation was wrong and that I'd fall in love with a guy, but deep down I knew that wasn't gonna happen. I didn't like the word "lesbian" at first. I knew it was correct, but I wasn't comfortable with calling myself that. I scrubbed my skin with the rough end of my bath sponge until my skin went from medium beige to bright red, hoping it would somehow scrub the queer clean out of me. I dunked my head underwater in the bathtub for as long as I could hold my breath, hoping it would drown the gay out of me. But it never worked. It didn't make me any less of a queer. A dyke. A lesbian. It didn't make me straight, just made me hurt. 

Over the next 3 months, I grew increasingly comfortable with the word lesbian. I gave myself time to become familiar with it, eventually secure enough to tell my friends in December 2017-January 2018 (shortly after I turned 15) that I was indeed one. They were very supportive and accepted me for who I was. However, this wave of acceptance was incredibly short-lived. In late January 2018, my parents found out I was gay. My mom kept picking at it increasingly and only stopped when I admitted it. Then she told my dad. I wasn't ready... I had JUST came to terms with my sexuality. I was barely even comfortable with the word "lesbian." I wanted to come out on my own terms when the time was right... but it felt like my secret had been ripped right out of me. 

My parents were absolutely not supportive. My father almost left us, saying he could never have the same relationship with me again. It hurt so bad, because I'd always been much closer with my father. It's been well over a year and my relationship with him isn't restored to even a fraction of what it used to be yet. He was always the one I could trust, and I thought he loved me unconditionally. I thought I could rely on the love I had from my parents, those who brought me into this life. But I couldn't. 

My identity as a lesbian felt like it had taken a strong hit before I could even make it strong enough to take one.

It was the most broken I had ever felt. I felt neglected. Like the future I always dreamt of was forever out of my reach. Like I was unlovable. But there was something still in me... desire. The desire to do great and big things with my life someday. The desire to be loved. "I can't stop where I am right now," I thought, "I haven't done everything I want to do yet."

I didn't want to be old and look back on my teenage years as a time of self-hatred. 

I wanted someone to love me for all the things about me. The good, the bad, the ugliest parts of me... they're all me. But when I looked around, no one was prepared to love me like that. Sure, I had friends, but I wanted more than what they could offer me at that point in time. If I wanted to be loved like that, I would have to do it myself. I would have to love myself deeply and unconditionally, because no one around me was going to. And I'm a Slytherin, so when I have a goal to work towards, you bet your ass I'll deliver. 

That's what I worked towards for the next few months. I don't know exactly how I did it, but it was just about being kind towards myself. Appreciating the things about me that deserved to be appreciated. Being proud of the things I've overcome. Realising the great potential I have to the future. 

Today, I've reached a point where I'm finally at peace with being a lesbian. I don't care anymore whether my parents accept me or not, because I give myself the love they don't. It's a healed wound now and I don't pay them any mind. My sexuality is as natural to me as the colour of the hair that grows off the top of my head and the colour of my eyes. 

I've finally found my peace. It took a while, but this time, I finally got it right. 

[purplesurveys]

1037

survey by joybucket

Do you have a vlog? No, but I’ve always thought it would be fun to start and maintain one. Just never got around to it because it’s so much work, from conceptualizing to shooting to editing; and idk if my humor will translate to the camera. Plus I hate being shot in public, so it would never work out for me.

If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? Yeah, a lot of times. It just looks like such a therapeutic outlet that I can sink my teeth into. Who knows, if I ever gain more confidence in the future I may just try making a video or two.

Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? AM. As much as I hated waking up early from ages 4-6, it was nice to be home by noon and it also made for good training for the rest of my years in school.

What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? Good Mythical Morning, several wrestling-themed channels for their weekly lists, and KBS for their Return of Superman clips. I have a lot of other subscriptions, but those are the main ones I’ve been tuning into lately.

Which relative(s) do you look the most like? I get my mom the most, but sometimes I’ll be told I look like my dad as well.

Have you ever watched a live birth video? I don’t think so.

Have you ever given birth? Definitely not.

Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? That wouldn’t be possible as I wasn’t born yet and by the time that I was, the internet had already been around for a few years.

Do you remember Y2K? I was alive when it happened but barely conscious, so no. I was only 2.

How old were you when the year changed to 2000? I was 1, turning 2 that year.

What was your favorite childhood vacation? We didn’t have lots of vacations when I was a kid, because for most of the 2000s my parents were still busy saving up and climbing up their respective ladders at work. We only started to regularly go on vacations by the time I was around 11, when finances started to get easier to handle. That said, as a kid I really loved the time my parents would bring us to the local water park on weekends.

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? As a teenager when hating pink and general girliness was cool, probably. I don’t wish for it now.

What's your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? I’m the eldest.

Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? Idk what kind of stereotype you’re looking for, tbh. As much as I don’t really like tooting my own horn, I’ve heard firstborns are usually more intelligent than their younger siblings and I would attest to at least that lol

Have you ever worn overalls? Yup, though they aren’t the denim kind.

If you're a girl, how old were you when you started your period? I had just turned 10. I thought I was going to get it while I was still 9 (the signs had been showing for a while by then), but it ultimately came a month after my 10th birthday. Still, I was one of the rare cases in my family who had it at a lot younger.

Do you get cramps? I used to get leg cramps all the goddamn time as a kid, and they always came in the middle of the night. I don’t get them or any kind of cramps anymore, thankfully; and the only time I do is on my fingers when I don’t hold my chopsticks properly.

Is your mom mentally stable? I think there are definitely some things therapy could fix.

Is your dad a complete jerk to you? No, you’re referring to the other parent.

Where do you want to go on vacation next? Oh my godddddd, Thailand plz.

What is one place you want to visit before you die? Wrestlemania.

Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? A neighbor’s kid passed away a few months ago, but I didn’t know them.

What's your favorite type of crackers? Ritz Bits are where it’s at.

What's your favorite spice? Cumin.

Are you sensitive? Yeah. I’m a little soft and I tend to take a lot of things personally.

Are you intuitive? It wouldn’t be the first word I’d use to describe myself, but I guess I have my moments.

Are you spiritual? No.

Do you wish your life were easier? Um, if it was a legitimate option then yeah obviously.

What color hair did your first crush have? Black.

What was the name of your first crush? Andi.

Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? I don’t think I’ve heard of that site. If we’re talking of websites that host flash games or whatever it is they’re called, I always hung out on Y8 haha.

Do you remember your first email address? I didn’t anymore before encountering this, but this question made me automatically rack my brain and now I do remember and now I’m wincing as well. 

Did you name your lego characters? I didn’t make any characters, I think. I just liked making towers.

What was/is your high school's mascot? Both my schools don’t have mascots.

What is/was your favorite class in high school? All the history classes we had to take under the social sciences umbrella; it was Philippine history for freshman year, Asian history for sophomore year; world history in junior year; and then unfortunately we made the switch to basic economics for senior year which was like ???? Why couldn’t we have gone all the way with history? Economics ended up being super boring lol.

Is college an adventure? It really was. I grew and learned so much in it and I couldn’t have spent the last four years in a better place and a better school.

Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? No.

If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse?

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?

Who is your favorite cousin? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, who pretty much feels like my older brother and not a cousin at this point.

Do you look your age? According to most, no. I look a little younger than 22.

What's your favorite flavor of frosting? Chocolateeeeeeee.

Do you like toe socks? I’ve never had to wear those before so I don’t have an opinion.

Muffins or cupcakes? Cupcakes.

Have you ever had a bag stolen? I’ve had a wallet stolen, so kinda.

How old were you when you got your first phone? I was technically still 6 because I had an advanced celebration, but it was for my 7th birthday.

Are you ready for summer?!?! Now that I think about it I do want to go back to summer, just because it was such a vastly different – and a lot happier – time...

Is winter your favorite season? It probably would be if we had it.

How many people do you know who've said winter is their favorite season? Zero.

Are you unique in any way? I think everyone is.

Do you have any hidden talents? if there are any left, I’m not aware of them yet.

Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? Just about everyone, all the time.

Who was your best friend in high school? Gabie for the most part, but Angela was there as well.

What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? Commercials creeped me out as a child, not a certain book or movie.

What song makes you cry? Usually it’s 26 by Paramore, but not always.

Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? Yeah, I’ve told a couple of people.

How many teachers have you had crushes on? I think around three or four. Possibly more, but I don’t remember all too well as I’ve since discarded a lot of memories from my old school.

Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? Nah. I mostly stripped them of their clothes and broke their arms and legs, lol.

Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? Nope. I didn’t have enough dolls to do that, anyway. It wasn’t my toy of choice.

How old were you when you had your first kiss? I was 16.

Do you like church? Hell no.

Do you have scars from self-harm? You’d only be able to make them out if you knew I self-harmed, but I think they’re almost unrecognizable at this point.

Do you have cellulite? It’s only present if I tightly twist my skin.

How old were you when you started getting zits? Not sure, somewhere in the middle of high school. I’ve never had lasting problems with acne though; I only ever get one or two at a time and it happens like, once a year.

Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? Aside from hair growing in places? No, not really. It stayed the same.

Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? I’m a tad bit shorter, though for a time it seemed as if my growth spurt would lead me to overtake her.

Would you ever consider adopting a child? It’s not a personal choice of mine, but there could very much be situations in the far future where I would consider doing so. I’m not shutting that possibility down.

Who was your first roommate? I’ve never had one; I haven’t tried living on my own yet.

Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? So many.

Is your mom paranoid? Very much so. She shows some signs of OCD and her paranoia is reflected through that. 

Do you trim your own hair? Not my hair, but I do this with my bangs.

Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? No. That’s one of the things I’ll change if I myself become a mom.

What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? Pirate, Tinkerbell, Daria, AJ Lee, Dora the Explorer, Sofie.

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? My first goldfish.

Did you have your own room as a child? Not until I was 10.

What color was your nursery? I wasn’t put in one. I shared a room with my parents and siblings until I was 10.

Did your parents know your gender before you were born? I think they waited it out until a few weeks before I was born.

What is your name (first and middle)? My first name is Robyn and my second is Isabelle; I don’t need to share my middle name.

What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? They never thought about it, which is kinda disappointing because I do want to know what my other name could’ve been.

Do you like your name? I’ve ended up doing so, yes.

What would you name your children? I haven’t cemented decisions that far ahead. I have ideas for names, like Olivia, but they’re nothing absolute. 

Do you exercise regularly? Nope.

Do you have a healthy BMI? No, I’ve always been a little underweight.

What is your favorite season? Wet/rainy.

Do you look like your mom? This is like the third time I’ve answered this within just this survey lol, yes I do.

What is the origin of your last name? Spanish/Portuguese.

What is the meaning of your first name? I’ve heard it means ‘fame.’ I just don’t feel like checking.

What month were you born in? April.

Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? Nope. But my sister and one of my cousins share the same birthday, right down to the year.

Do you have a sweet tooth? Eh, it comes out every now and then but it’s not all the time. I definitely enjoy savory more.

What photo editing software do you use? None lol, photo editing is one of my Achilles’ heels.

Where do you buy most of your clothes? Tianggeeeeeeeees.

[multifandom-stranger]

4 . 10 . 16

The Broken Few Pt. 2

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3

Genre: Angst, but like more light-hearted because my heart needed a break

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Some swearing here and there

That night Mark came back to the apartment he could barely keep his shit together. He wasn’t depressed by any means. He was pissed off to no end. Mark had this sudden wake up call as he ran back to the new place he called home. Why did he ever listen to that foster dad of his? He held no power over him, had no real connection to him, and Mark could care less what that shit parental figure thought of him. This epiphany had him sitting on a big bean bag in the corner of the eclectic room completely zoned. For the other boys it was even weirder to see the poor kid up at 1 AM staring off into space. Taeyong had left to go do something and so did Ten. Doyoung was the only one conscious in the room since Jaehyin passed out around 10:30. “Kid, you good? Where did you run off to anyway?” Doyoung got up from his spot where he had been sitting with his knees tucked under his arms as he hunched over his phone. The older boy shuffled his way over till he was now lying on the floor, his head propped up by the same beanbag Mark placed himself upon hours ago.  “Go ahead. Speak.”  Doyoung said in a sarcastic tone that drew out a small laugh from the two of them.

“I’m just amazed at how much I’ve let other people control me. For the dumbest reasons as well. It makes no sense why I let myself suffer for so long when I could do something the whole time.” Mark finally let his gaze fall to Doyoung who looked up at him with thoughtful eyes. 

“Maybe we were the push you needed. Something to prove there’s a way out and a place of belonging.” He gave Mark a small nudge to his leg before seeing if he could push a bit further without getting too deep. “Still didn’t answer my last question.” Mark took a deep breath before nudging him back with his knee.

 “Maybe another time. It’s really late so we should get some sleep.” Doyoung chuckled and started to saunter off to his little cot in the corner of the room. “Beddy-bye for the little one.” He teased before plopping down with a smile. “Night hyung.” Mark said with a hint of his laughter carrying over into his words. 

The next morning when he woke up their tiny room was rather full. Ten and Taeyong had come back at some point in the night and now were asleep in their beds. Well, not beds. Taeyong had the other extra large bean bag and Ten had this cool hammock setup where he hung it from these really sketchy makeshift hooks. He shifted as quietly as he could to not wake anyone as he headed to the outside area at the rooftop surrounding their little home. Mark was simply trying to get some fresh air so the last thing he expected was another person to be sleeping outside on the large wooden table out there. Some dude with short grey hair and sharp eyes was lying on his stomach and holding his phone in front of him. Once Mark let the door close a bit louder than expected, though it wasn’t loud enough to wake the others, the man looked over at Mark. “Uh, hey?” He said as awkwardly as he normally would when meeting strangers.

“Sup kid. I heard you're the newbie.” The unknown man shifted till he was sat criss-cross on the platform. He patted the spot next to him casually but Mark was very curious and hesitant to sit. As far as he knew this was just some dude who snuck up to catch some z’s somewhere. Then again, he had a feeling new faces were gonna come at him left and right. “I’m Taeil. Also a part of the family so no need to… look at me like that.” 

“Huh? Oh uh, sorry. Didn’t mean to stare.” Mark rubbed at the back of his neck as he apologized for the accidental unnecessarily long stare. What was he supposed to do? He just bumped into some new dude in a new place. He was beginning to worry about fitting in. How many people were there anyways? What did they really do? He still had too many questions and concerns about something he already swore a blood oath to. A hand waved in front of his face to catch his attention after another hardcore zoning out session.

“Hello?~ Earth to new kid. Wanna introduce yourself or will I have to just call you newbie forever?” Taeil was already taken by the poor kid. Taeyong had texted him about a new member to their little family last night. He could see he was probably still trying to figure out what the hell was even going on in his life. It was just so sad to see kids like him join though. Mark was young looking, probably not even eighteen yet and here he was living with them now. The only upside that lessened the pull at Taeil’s heartstrings was the idea that at least with the family these poor kids off the street may have a chance in this world. Something slightly better than before at the very least.

Mark snapped his head to Taeil and apologized again under his breath before another shy introduction. Before he could finish a thud was heard from behind them.”Yah! You fucks woke me up with the-”  Mark jumped a bit and whipped his head over to the source of the voice yelling at them. Taeil lulled his head over to the small shack that was outside the actual apartment to see Kun peeked out the door to it. 

“Meet Kun. Our local Chinese nagging mom.” Taeil said with much amusement in his voice. Mark was really thrown off at this point. First a man sleeping outside, not an angry man in the shed. What next, someone popping out from the roof? Kun was flustered as well. He hadn't even said hi to the kid before screaming at him. Not really his style. Not at all. 

“Ha, good morning. Your name's Mark, right? I’m sorry I yelled. I just really like my sleep.” Kun slumped his way over, seemingly still half asleep. He stuck a hand out to Mark, which was taken and shook by the younger boy. “I claimed the shed because I was promised quiet anyways.” An awkward slightly ticked laugh followed. Man, what a character.

“Thanks for waking the whole family fatso.” Taeyong chirped in, his head peeking from behind the door to the apartment. “What are you doing with the baby? Mother’s should treat their kiddos nice after all.” He stuck his tongue out at Kun before ducking back into the home for safety. Taeyong was well aware of the nagging he’d receive, even at eight AM, from Kun and he was not having any of it. Not this damn early. 

The three on the rooftop were left to stare at the door in silence before Taeyong peeked around it once more in a rush. “Oh, and all three of you get in here. Time to break in down for said baby.” He pointed to Mark with a big grin before leaving once again in a flash. 

“Best not to fight it. Come on guys.” Taeil said as he got up with a stretch and quick yawn. Kun followed suit without a word and he patted Mark’s shoulder gently. Mark got up as well and followed the other two into the small building. It was two rooms, and yet they found a way to fit all seven of them in the small space. Mark and Doyoung sat upon his big bean bag, Ten and Kun were on the hammock, Jaehyun and Taeil on the cot, and Taeyong sat on the other bean bag. The gang's all here.

“Alright Mark, you’ve already met Kun and Taeil I see. There’s still more people to come though. Yuta’s off with Winwin trying to ease up some conflict we’ve been having on the streets.” Jaehyin scoffed at the mention of the fights. It was so dumb. Recently a gang on the streets of Seoul had been giving them shit for running activities in their area. They called themselves Got7, and they were known for their wide and vast network of connections. Jaehyun had only met them once to discuss the very topic of who got which parts of the city to roam around. He was rather upset to hear that they had told Taeyong that their family was breaking the agreement even though they had not once had anyone cross any lines. His best bet was that those bastards were trying to cheat them out of land simply because they could. They were bigger, better, and more powerful so they easily could corner their rag tag group of kids. He was pissed. 

“So, today is the day we go over what we do and then send you off to do it. So far we do work for hire and take fees from local businesses as well. That’s our main income. It used to be a lot of petty crime like pickpocketing and breaking into cars, but we’ve made somewhat of a name for ourselves. No more of that shit.” Taeyong was hoping the kid wouldn’t freak out and bail. Most of the time they were hesitant, which was understandable. Some people, like Kun who patches them up, just aren’t meant for the life they lead. “Also, how old are you exactly? Not that it particularly matters.”

Mark gave a confused look before responding with “Seventeen. Why?” He was kind of lost as to how this related to anything they were talking about. What could Taeyong be getting at? Taeyong smiled and clapped his hands once for emphasis. He looked oddly satisfied.

“You also gotta get one of these. Can you show him Doyoung?” Douyoung nodded before pulling up his sleeve and revealing a small tattoo. Mark looked over to see the long and thin letters that spelled out NCT. He tilted his head and furrowed his brows. He had no clue what was going on or what that even meant. 

“Wait a sec. You’re saying I’m gonna get that tattooed on me? What’s it mean and why?” 

“Where you from kid?” Jaehyun asked out of the blue. Once again, Mark hardly saw any relation to the current subject. What’s with these random questions to answer his own questions?

“Canada originally. Could you please just answer one damn question I’ve asked” 

“It stands for Neo Culture Tech. It means we want to spread our family’s ideals to the world in our own way. So, for example,  you came all the way from Canada and now are a part of it. Ten’s from Thailand, Kun and Winwin are from China, Yuta is from Japan.” Jaehyun sighed seeing that Mark was still a bit lost. He could see in the unchanged look on his face that was true. “You get the fucking tattoo to rep the family. It’s like an ID to prove your one of us if you run into trouble. God.” All Jaehyun could think was that Mark was just dense enough to be slightly annoying. He’d have to prove himself useful in his own waay at some point.

Mark could clearly tell he was not on Jaehyun’s good side. He came off as very blunt and result oriented to Mark. A man who just wants to get shit done as soon as possible but still does it right. Probably made him very good at whatever he did. Mark made it a point to especially work hard around him and be on his game.

“Ease up on him Jaehyun.” Taeyong butted in after Jaehyun had stopped. He knew how Jaeyhun could get with these newer boys sometimes and it seemed to be worse than usual with Mark. The reason why was something he’d never know but he wasn’t having any hatred. Not in his family. “Know what, you and Ten can take him on the day's errands as well as getting tatted up! Isn’t that just lovely?” He gave a shit-eating grin as he leaned over just enough to lay an arm over Jaehyun’s shoulder and make eye contact quite obviously. Jaehyun closed his eyes and sighed knowing full why he chose the three. 

“Got it. Let’s head out guys.” Jaehyun said flatly as he rose to his feet, brushing Taeyong off. Ten got up with a smile and made his way to Mark in quick, eager steps. He pushed him playfully from behind to tease.

“Let’s go newb! Time to learn the ropes!” Mark went along with it easily and walked out the door with Ten following right behind. Jaehyun left last, rolling his eyes at the duo’s antics. All three of them were certain this was gonna be one hell of a day, for different reasons obviously.

The trio headed for the streets with Jaehyun leading the way as Ten and Mark held a light conversation the whole way. He would rarely add in his thoughts or remark on their silly topics. Mark was slowly learning to like Jaehyun. He certainly could throw in his own sarcastic remarks on a whim and end up cracking the other two up. It was surprising to Mark and welcome to Ten.  Ten and Mark hadn’t talked much till now and boy did they seem to get along. Both were childish in nature and liked to have fun. It was like talking with an old friend, yet this was their first real chat. All in all, the three of them were slowly growing on each other.

Mark and Ten were lucky to have Jaehyun around since they could barely tell any time had passed at all. Their seemingly short journey had already led them to a small tattoo shop lit up by neon lights that spelled out open even though it was a bright and sunny morning in the city. Mark peered into the shop windows to see that not much was going on in the small building. There were empty chairs he could see from the back and one girl at the counter with all the artbooks of designs on display. All three of them entered the tattoo parlor to be greeted by the rather pretty girl.

“Hiya boys. ‘Nother new face, huh?” Jaehyun and Ten struck up a bit of small talk with the girl for a while before she leaned over to a quiet and curious Mark. “Alright cutie, head to the back and I’ll take care of you real nice.~” She added a wink just to tease the young boy to which Mark could only blush a bit and remain silently flustered. 

“Thanks again Sunmi. We owe you.” Ten sang out as Mark followed said girl to the back. She gestured for him to sit with grace before getting inks and her machine ready. 

“Okay hun, you know where you want it?” Mark though on it a bit. He’d obviously never had a tattoo before since he was still underage. Wait… It was just now occurring to him this was kinda illegal. He had a feeling this would be far on the tame side of things to come so fuck it. If he wanted to commit to this shit, he was gonna really commit. “Can I get it here?” He places a hand over his heart. Why he did so was a simple reason. He already felt like he got along with these boys better than anyone else who had come into his life beforehand. Taeyong instantly empathized with his pains and struggles. Not in a patronizing way, but as someone understanding; Someone who lived it. Him and Ten were already friends as far as he was concerned. All the others opened right up to him with full honesty. Even Jaehyun was nice to Mark in his own way. He was family now and he meant it with all his heart to stick together. Especially if Taeyong planned to help others like him get to a better place in life. 

Sunmi smiled at him before nodding. “You got it. Now off with the shirt.” 

“Huh?” Mark huffed out a little louder than intended. “Oh uh- Yeah.” Sunmi could only giggle at the young boy’s antics. The boy was just too shy, sweet, and awkward. She hoped he had what it took to live the life of a Neo Tech member. Mark pulled his t shirt over his head and continued to sit there looking like a fucking dope. He shifted back and forth before Sunmi came back over to transfer the stencil to his chest with ease. From then on Mark made no eye contact, even when spoken to by the sweet girl. He also noticed the stifled laughter from not only Ten but Jaehyun as well. He leaned over to see them both doubled over and laughing to themselves. Or so they thought. “Hey!” He hollered at the two with a new subtle blush forming on his cheeks. That only caused the two of them to continue their laughter freely and stumble around a bit. 

After Mark leaned back to a comfortable place again Sunmi held up her tattoo machine with a half smile. “Wanna know what it feels like first?”

“Sure.” A small hum was heard as she switched it on and pulled Mark by the hand. She placed the machine to the skin of his forearm causing Mark to jump just a little bit at the unfamiliar feeling. He scoffed with amusement due to the fact that it wasn’t that bad at all. “Not as bad as I thought it’d be.”

“I’m surprised, kid. Just doing this has made some people back out.” She pulled back and dipped into her ink. “Ready for the real deal”

“Go ahead.”

After a not so bad session of tattooing with small talk between Sunmi and Mark he finished up like a champ according to her. She covered the tattoo and told him how to care for it. Mark put his shirt back on. He thanked her with a smile before heading back to the front of the building again. Sat there was Tan and Jaehyun who both smiled and smirked respectively once he entered.

“What?” He asked flat out. Jaehyun shook his head and both him and Ten ros to their feet. 

“Tell ya in a bit.” He said with much amusement, something rare for Jaehyun. He headed to the door, the other boys joining him as they all waved and said their goodbyes. “Thanks again Sunmi. You’re the best.” 

She smiled and leaned over the counter with a coy smile. “Bye guys,” She made direct eye contact with Mark before adding “Hope to see you soon.~” with a quick wink. Mark was once again left a blushing awkward little kid. He gave her a shy wave once more before leaving with the others. Once they had left the beauty alone at the small counter of the shop she sighed. “If only he was older.” 

The moment the boys were past the building and on the streets again he was met with a swift slap to the back from Jaehyun. “Damn dude.” He chuckled at Mark’s obvious confusion before Ten joined him just like before.

“What?! I don’t get it. Tell me what’s so damn funny to you two!” 

“Poor thing doesn't even know!” Ten managed to choke out in between wheezes and fits of laughter. The youngest was looking back and forth at them, as if that would give him an answer quicker.

“First of all, you are soooo fucking awkward.” He patted a hand on Mark’s shoulder for emphasis. “Second, your one lucky kid.” 

Mark persisted to question them over and over as to what the hell they were talking about only to be met with more chuckles and grins but never an answer until finally Jaehyun gave in. “Did she kiss the stencil?” 

Mark thought back to sitting there in the chair and staring off into space. He did see Sunmi raise it to her face at one point. He thought it was to look at or something. He didn’t really put much thought into it till now because why would he? “Yeah, I think she did.”

Ten elbowed Jaehyun harshly, almost pushing him into a passerby. “See! Called that shit. You owe me.”

“Ohmygodcouldyoujusttellmealready!” Mark groaned out, highly frustrated. Why was he always left out of the loop?

“Means you're gonna do well. That and she likes you. The only time she does that is when she gets a good feeling about someone so we consider it a lucky sign.” Jaehyun finally explained.

Mark tilted his head a bit. “Who else did she do that for?” 

“Taeyong, Kun, Yuta, and you so far. And me of course.” He nudged Ten back just as hard, almost sending him into the side of a building. “One of these things isn’t like the other.” He teased.

Ten rolled his eyes after recovering his balance and shot back with, “Whatever man, not like it matters too much. Let’s just go get to work already.” 

Once again Jaehyun led the trio to their destination. Though Mark had no idea where it was or what they’d do he was surprised at how good he felt. He was oddly excited to see what his future with the family truly held.

Author’s note: Hiiii! I feel like I wanna explain a bit of my story so that they have a bit more meaning so expect a post dedicated to that soon. Also, I’m SO HYPE FOR MANDATORY JACKSON CAMEO. You know I had to. Aaaaanyways, thanks for reading! The next chapter will finally get into the serious stuff so if that’s what your waiting for then stuck around! Also, low key messing with format and stuff so let me know if it’s still okay. Love ya all! ❤️

[wonderingarmy]

Prince Jeon Jungkook Part 2

Part 1 Link

Ah, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to finish it this week. But here it is!! Hope you guys enjoy it! I am excited for the part 3′s. Look forward to it.

Prince Jeon Jungkook Part 2 - The Difference

After two rings, he picked up his phone.

“Hello?”, his voice is beautiful

“Jungkookie, is it true?”, you asked still don’t believe that what he just announced on his live broadcast is real.

“I am not going to broadcast it live if it’s not true Y/N”

“Ahhh---”, not sure what you’re going to reply.

“Hey, are you free right now? Can I pick you up?” he asked and when you still don’t know what to say, he said “I’ll pick you up in 10. I just really want to see you right now.”

Before you can answer, he hung up the phone. Two years younger than you and so demanding. You are not sure if you’re going to get ready, but you did anyway.

You were running in circles outside your apartment when he came in in his car.

“Y/N!”, he called from his car. You’re still not used to him calling you by your name.

You hurried outside the gate to meet him. He opened the door to the passenger side to let you in. And when you’re both inside his car, he started driving. You don’t know where he’s taking you and your heart is beating so fast, you really don’t know how to break the ice between you and him.

When you looked at him, he was focused on the road but grinning. He glanced at you and when he saw you staring at him, he smiled wider.

“I am so happy to be with you Y/N”, he said

“Jungkook, I don’t really know what to say.” you replied

“You don’t feel the same way about me?” he asked, you see face changed from happy to being worried

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that I have known you forever and now you’re telling everyone that you… you.. you know what I mean. And, just.. I don’t know.”

“Y/N, I am not asking you to be my girlfriend right now. I just want to let you know how I feel and I am willing to wait for you. When you’re ready. Just please stop seeing me as your baby brother.” he said

“Jungkook, I---”

“I’ll make sure you’ll fall in love with me. Plus, what’s not to like about me? I know Jimin is your favorite among us. But, I mean, look at this face?” he said, smiling at you but still managing to focus on the road while driving.

You can’t help but laugh, “Jin-hyung been rubbing off on you too much. Stop.”

He just smiled again and said “Just let me prove I am worthy to be your boyfriend”

“But…”

He put his signal on and he pulled over. He looked you straight in the eye and with so much sincerity, he said, “I don’t ever wanna hear your “buts” or any excuses. Just give me a chance to prove it. That’s all I am asking.”

You didn’t say anything back after. The truth is, after he admitted to his feelings to you, he had woken up something that you didn’t know is inside you all along. The feelings for him that you didn’t know existed until he told millions of people the he loves you. Maybe you have loved Jungkook for some time now, you just didn’t want to admit it yourself because you think you being older that is not going to stand a chance.

He drove you around town and you he told you about why he loves you. About how he fell in love with you that time you were filming the guys and he is making his hyungs laugh and you were laughing at him too. He said he’d never seen someone laugh that beautiful. Just seeing you smile brightens up his day. And that’s he started to tease you more.

And you’re just sitting on the passenger seat, not saying anything. Still can’t believe this kid can make your face as red as a tomato.

From then on, he started courting you. He would always visit your office and bring you food, which is really weird because you’re the one that usually buys food for him. He still teases you during filming, but gets flirty after. He would take you places you’ve never been before that he thinks you’ll like, and he is always right.

He’s been courting you for couple of months now and you still haven’t decided if you want to become his girlfriend. You’re still scared of being with him, especially that he’s getting more and more famous and the fact the he’s still younger than you, scares you. You have a feeling that it’s not going to work out. But, you are starting to fall in love with him.

One day, you were a little bit late from filming. You got to the location when you saw Jungkook talking to a girl you haven’t seen before. By the looks of it, she looks like a new member of the style team. Jungkook look so happy talking to her and for some reasons, you feel jealous.

He waved at you when he saw you and you waved back at him. You saw him bowed at the new girl and left running to meet you.

“Y/N, I haven’t seen you for a week. I missed you!” he said, smiling. “Sorry, I didn’t get to visit you as much as I did.”

“Ah, no worries. II have been busy editing your new music video coming out next month anyway.” you replied

“Did you get the flowers I sent you, while we were in Thailand? Because you didn’t text me to say thank you about it” he said pouting.

“I did receive it. They’re beautiful Jungkook. I am sorry I didn’t get to text much. You know I’ve been busy too” you said, looking at him and he smiled.

“Do you have time today? let’s have dinner after the filming?” he asked, brushing his hair back. He looks so hot doing this.

“Yes. I am kind of busy after. Sorry.”, you lied. For some reasons, the way Jungkook is talking to the new girl is giving you unpleasant feelings.

“Maybe tomorrow? Oh, have you met Kumi” he asked, pointing at the new stylist, who is now busy fixing Namjoon’s suit. “She’s pretty cool. Let me introduce you to her”

“I haven’t met her yet. Can I do it later? I have to set all these camera up first.” you replied, busy taking one of the video cameras out of the bag.

“Oh”, he noticed that you don’t seem like you’re in the mood. “Well, I better finish getting ready then. Let me know if you’re free tomorrow?”

“Sure.” you replied not looking at him.

You wrapped up filming at almost 5 o’clock. After getting all your stuff packed in your bags, you met with the members to say goodbye. When you got to their tent, you saw Jungkook talking so enthusiastically with Kumi. You didn’t like the way you’re feeling, so you just left the tent and the location with a heavy heart.

“Why do I feel uneasy, it’s not like this is the first time he’s been close to one of the staff, or even the fans.”, you muttered to yourself.

Jungkook messaged you later that night asking why you left without saying goodbye, but you didn’t reply. He tried calling you but you didn’t feel like talking to him.

You came to the Big Hit building the next day to find a single rose on your desk and a note that says: “Let me know if you’re free for dinner tonight. I know a place. I miss you. - JK”

You still feeling troubled about the way Jungkook’s talking to Kumi. So you didn’t really know what to tell him. But you have to say something or he’s going to keep bothering you.

“Ah, I hate when I feel jealous. And why would I feel jealous? The whole world knows that he loves you. He knows he can’t be flirting with other girls” you complained to yourself.

You messaged him and thanked him for the rose and told him that you’re free around 7. He replied a few minutes later and said “Looking forward to seeing you!”

At around 645, you were getting ready to leave your office when you receive a text from Jungkook.

“Y/N, I am really sorry. I won’t be able to take you to dinner tonight. Something came up. I am sorry, I had to let you know so late. I promise to make it up to you.”

This usually doesn’t bother you. You know he is busy and you always understand. But this time, for some reasons, is different. It makes you feel really uncomfortable.

“It’s okay. I understand.” is your reply.

The next morning came and the following day and then the next and no word from Jungkook. You haven’t seen him or the guys as well, as you have a deadline to make with one music video and a BTS special. You didn’t want to message him first, thinking that he’s busy, you don’t want to make him feel like you’re a bother.

The days passed without hearing from him and you wondered if he already gave up. Like how the other guys that came before him gave up, because you’re too afraid to be in a relationship. Too afraid, that whatever happened to your mom, will happen to you too.

“Well, it’s not like it’s the first time somebody gave up on me” you told yourself.

But you know deep inside that Jungkook is different from the other guys. You like Jungkook. No, You love Jungkook. But, you’re too scared to be in a relationship.

After a couple more weeks, and still nothing from him nor you ever tried to reach out to him.

You have to talk to one of the directors one day, regarding about a concept he wants for the other Big Hit Idols. You went to talk to him in person, while he is out filming BTS’ variety show.

As soon as you got to the studio, you saw Jungkook hugging someone who looks to be like Kumi. You heart dropped and you wanted to run away from that place, but you can’t. You have to act professional as much as possible. You walk straight to the director, who is on break.

When Jungkook saw you, he let go of Kumi. You can feel him staring at you but you tried to avoid making eye contact with him as much as possible. You talked to the director in private for about 30 minutes. When you got all the info you need, you left the studio.

You are ready to let your tears fall down your cheeks, when you saw Jungkook and Kumi again in the hallway, making out. This made you angry and full of emotions that you ran passed them not realizing that you bumped into one of them.

You got to the parking lot as soon as you can and as you were trying to unlock your car with your shaking hands, you heard somebody yell your name. It was Jungkook. You didn’t want to talk to him so you ignored him and as soon as you unlock your door, Jungkook grabbed your arm.

“Y/N, stop please!”, he said.

You faced him and said, “What do you need Jungkook? Because, I am not dealing with this right now”

“What you saw, that was…”

“Yeah. You couldn’t even wait til I am out of the building to start making out in the hallway? Because if you’re trying to make me feel jealous Jungkook, the  guess what? You’ve won” you said, tears are really starting to fall down your cheeks.

“Y/N, I am sorry okay?”

“No, you’re not. At least the other guys that came before you had the nerve to say ‘Oh, I am sorry Y/N, I don’t think I’ll be able to wait for you any longer. I have found someone else’. But you, you just go around doing what you want in life just because you can! You are the most insensitive person i have ever met” you yelled.

“Y/N, I am sorry. But I have been waiting. And I know you’re not ready to be in a relationship. But, you can’t compare guys to your dad who left your mom after he got her pregnant. And I am afraid that you still think of me as a kid. And I hate that.”

“First of all, this is not about my mom and that asshole. This is about you disrespecting my feelings. Going around telling the world that you love me and this? You just met her what? A month ago? And all of a sudden, it’s so easy for you to make out with her in the hallway?”

“Y/N please, can you--”

“Second of all, you want me to start treating you like a man? Then start acting like one.” you said, looking him straight in the face.

“Y/N, I love you. I do. I am sorry, I just got scared.” he said trying to wrapped his arms around you but you moved away.

“This is over Jungkook. This is over even before it started.” you said. You opened your car door and as soon as you got inside, you slammed the door closed. You started the ignition, and before you know you were driving so fast, you don’t know where you’re going.

Jungkook is left in the parking lot, regretting everything. But how can he make it up to you now. He already hurt you too much. He wouldn’t even forgive himself if you were him.

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 8

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): I could not wait to post this. I know it’s only Wednesday but I couldn’t wait and I had to. I’m sorry... I’m sure the next chapter will bring us back to the regular schedule. This chapter is really weird, at least in my opinion (but it might just be that I read it again and again a million times over), but I’m really happy with it and... also not really. Some people in this chapter need to... I don’t want to say anything. It would only make things worse if I say anything.

Thanks to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the original suggestion, to @whatwashernameagain for all her help and for being a sweet lil angel of a person, and to my little elves, @anony-phangirl, @asleepybisexual and @winglessnymph for dealing with my bullshit. A special one goes to Nicky this time, for being an adorable bean and reading this chapter ahead of time to help me figure things out. I am so grateful that I have this lovely group of people to help me and I can’t thank them enough.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @secretlyanxiouspersona, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @why-things-go-boom, @ilovemyspoopydad, @violetblossem, @prinxiety-an-chocolate

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). Especially in this chapter, and not necessarily period-appropriate, but... you have been warned.

—————

Wednesday, November 27th, 2002

Remy finally understood the point of existentialism and, more specifically, of the saying "Hell is other people".

He couldn't even take comfort in knowing how close India was. She didn't leave Boston for the holiday, and she wouldn't have anyway. Her family in North Carolina were horrible people and she told him that she hadn't seen any of them since she came to Harvard.

That meant that, for the next few days, he was stuck in Social Circle, Georgia. All alone. With no escape plan.

"Sarah, look, Remy's here!"

...and Leah.

She came down the road on her rollerblades, looking entirely too proud of herself, and their cousin Sarah on her trail. Sarah wasn't particularly bad, but Remy wasn't entirely comfortable around—

"A little bird told me you were going to be away this year."

"Gurl, you don't even want to know what happened."

"No I don't. I'm just glad you're here, Becca."

Becca. A cursed name. Yeah, maybe that's going a bit overboard, but… Remy wasn't called Becca since… well, Christmas of last year. But it's been a long time!

"I can rollerblade, right Remy?" Leah was holding onto his leg, almost dragging him down, and started taking her rollerblades off. "You saw me do it!"

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want Mom to see…"

"But you'll freeze!"

"But she won't be mad at me!"

"Becca, would you like to hear the holiday forecast?" Sarah tapped Remy on the shoulder as she said that. He didn't really, but… "Sunny. Way too sunny. With high chance of showers and a possible thunderstorm."

(Translated, it meant there will be fights. A lot of fights. And Remy was ready to deal with them, but… it didn't mean he wanted to hear it.)

"Wow, thanks for all the help, Sarah."

"No need to be rude, I'm just trying to prepare you. Everyone is coming. And some of us aren't as accepting of your ‘identity' as others."

That was incredibly true. Sadly. It took Linda no time at all to let everyone know that her daughter believes that she's a boy, and it took his grandmother no time to tell him that when she was younger, she had a very good friend who was born a boy, but lived as her true feminine self, and that she misses that friend so much because "there was no kinder or sweeter woman you'd ever meet, too bad we had to lose her to that wretched AIDS. We didn't have no cocktails or whatever back then, not like today. She died something like three years after you were born. You would've loved Celia."

It was going to be an insufferable holiday.

"Sarah, you're barely two years older than me. You don't—"

"I'm not mothering you. I'm just pointing out the facts."

Leah let go of Remy's leg, and instead grabbed onto his arm, the rollerblades in one hand. She was barefoot, she was cold, and he just wanted to hold her tight so she wouldn't freeze too much.

He was falling hard and fast for the sister he didn't want to meet a couple weeks ago, and he was struggling to understand what exactly happened.

"Sarah has a boyfriend now," Leah said happily as she led Remy (and his bag) to the house. "He's not very nice." She threw her rollerblades into a small shed near the door and quickly closed it.

"I'll bet."

"It's why she's being a bitch. I think. I don't know."

"It's how she's always been. Don't feel bad."

Leah decided to give him a house tour, and explained that nobody was there yet because everyone will come tomorrow and Stephen had a thing to do in Atlanta and Rachel had a play date. And Linda's house was… well, a house.

Remy was so used to the small and outrageously expensive apartment on West 106th, with the bad lighting and the closet-sized bedrooms, that the house seemed huge to him. The living room alone was - mismatched furniture aside - incredibly impressive. The floor-to-ceiling windows let in so much natural light that reflected off the shiny hardwood floors, the cream-colored walls and the needlessly large flat-screen TV, that Remy doubted they even needed the huge fucking chandelier (okay, maybe he was exaggerating a bit) that hung in the middle of the room. The walls were covered in crayon doodles and bright purple marks where the girls' heights were measured, and a few dark scratches. Obvious evidence that a certain scooter kept running into them.

Two black suede couches faced the brick fireplace (a fucking fireplace? Utterly pointless, much like a lot of things in this room), with dark blue and gray throwing pillows placed strategically on them. It looked incredibly comfortable. Between the couches and the fireplace was a small glass coffee table, "adorned" with misplaced toys and children's art supplies. A beautiful, blue-green glass vase full of white daffodils was right in the middle of the table. Leah proudly told him that she picked them herself.

Wooden bookcases covered the wall next to the entrance, and two light gray, plush armchairs, with the same dark blue and gray pillows, faced them. Remy was very familiar with those armchairs. They used to belong to his grandparents. He used to torture those chairs with Sarah when they were younger, draw on them with markers and put stickers all over the armrests. How his grandmother managed to remove the stickers was beyond him, but he knew for a fact that she put them through very intensive cleaning after every visit.

Two years ago they disappeared from their house in Red Bank, New Jersey. And nobody could explain to him why.

In the corner of the room, next to the bookcases, sat a sleek Steinway that Remy knew very well. It belonged to his grandfather. He wasn't even aware that it, too, made its way from New Jersey to Georgia.

(Nobody told Remy anything anymore, as it turned out. At least he could take comfort in knowing that Roger's piano was being put to good use.)

And that was just the living room. Remy didn't even want to think about the hallway.

"We moved here from Atlanta when I started going to school and my grandma and grandpa wanted me to go to where Dad went to school," Leah started rambling. "And I miss Atlanta. There's a lot more to do there, there's a lot more fun stuff to—"

"I know." The offended look on her face went away when Remy put his hand in her hair, to calm her down. "I live two blocks away from Broadway, I just need to take the subway and I'll be at Times Square, but I can't. I don't have the money for it and I don't want to take money from my dad."

"Isn't that annoying?"

"Leah, you're seven. Stop complaining about that kind of stuff," Sarah chided as she pushed past them, a glass of water in her hand, and went to sit down. "Just wait until you're in college."

"You mean, the place where everything is close by and rather affordable thanks to student discounts and the option of working on campus?"

"You're only a senior in high school, what do you know—"

"I go to Harvard, Sarah. It's been a couple months already."

"Oh… yeah. I'm sure you're doing great."

Yeah. Maybe this holiday he'll just stick to Leah.

——

"If there is a thing you should know about your mother," Edith Brigham told her grandchild in late 1992, "it's that she is too headstrong for her own good. It doesn't matter how much you try to change her mind, she'll never listen."

This was the reason Remy kept talking to his grandmother after the divorce. Why he kept visiting Edith and Roger after Linda left.

"Where's grandma and Roger?"

"They won't be coming this holiday, Rebecca. They're in Thailand."

Remy was absolutely not ready for this thanksgiving.

Stephen started a conversation with him about college while Linda was finishing things up in the kitchen that Wednesday. He asked him about his boyfriend, Remy did his best to avoid those particular questions ("is Ian playing any sports?" "She told me she was a cheerleader in high school, she wasn't allowed to do color guard"; Stephen choked on his beer when Remy said that), and things just seemed…

Overall, things seemed strangely calm.

Remy missed Edith and Roger.

"Who's she?" Linda asked from the kitchen.

"Never heard of her."

"Rebecca, please be serious."

"Remember when you met my best friend and she told you her name is Ian?" Linda made a choking sound. "Remember grandma's friend Celia?"

"That— you never even met her. You were too young. You don't even remember her. You are not the same as grandma's friend."

"I'm sure my best friend would love to hear that."

"So he's… he…"

"You can call her a she, you know."

"Grandma doesn't have a friend called Celia," Leah piped in from the corner, where she was sitting at the piano, trying to motivate herself to play it. Little Rachel was pressing all the keys, irritating Leah quite a bit.

"She died of a really bad disease before you were born," Linda said sharply. Something in her changed when talking to Leah.

"She was very nice," Remy added, trying to be softer than Linda. "Grandma says that she was a painter, and she spent a lot of time reading books, and that there was nobody sweeter than her. She died of AIDS."

"What's that?"

"Don't you—"

"Acquired immune deficiency syndrome." Leah hummed to herself as Remy said that. He could feel Linda glare at him. "You get it from contaminated blood or unsafe sex, and your immune system just doesn't work. I don't know a lot about it, so you should probably read about it—"

"Rebecca, she's seven years old!"

"She's a seven year old who knows that female hyenas have penises, Linda! She's old enough to know about AIDS."

"...you sound just like your grandmother."

"Thanks, I try to."

Leah just hummed again in understanding and left the piano in order to go painting. Rachel's key-pressing was getting too annoying for her. She said her hearing can't take it anymore.

Remy believed her.

"You can't just explain STDs to my child, Rebecca," Stephen hissed at him through gritted teeth, suddenly looking rather threatening.

"One of my professors said that if you can't explain it to a child, you don't truly understand it yourself."

"That's no excuse to—"

"Mom I have a headache can you tell Rachel to go away?"

"Deal with it. Rachel, sweetie, come here."

"Deal with it?" Linda just… shrugged. "Leah, come here, love. And bring my bag with you."

So she did. Remy took an ibuprofen pill out of the bag and gave it to her. And Linda...

"You're drugging up my kid?"

"She told you she has a headache. I'm having cramps right now, so I have painkillers on me. Shocker? To you, probably. You're the one who taught me that the cramps are just another sign that my body so terribly wants to have children, and—"

"Spit that out, Leah. You don't need anything."

And with that, Remy gave up on trying to talk to Linda. (Leah did not spit out the pill.)

——

Sunday, December 1st, 2002

The rest of the holiday was just as awful. Leah got overwhelmed by everything, Remy kept fighting with his aunts, and the alcohol didn't help in the least. Everyone felt Edith and Roger's absence and it only made things that much worse.

He should've stayed in Boston.

When he called India after getting off the plane, she told him to take comfort in the fact that Christmas is only three weeks away. And, yeah, she was right. But it didn't make things any better…

For now, he decided, he should focus on other things. Midterms were starting very soon. Next Tuesday was Emile's birthday. His dad started working on a new production—

There was a knock on the door.

"I heard you had a horrible holiday," an adorable, heavily-accented, quiet voice said once Remy opened the door. He could hear the smile in it. "Nothing cuddles and cookies can't solve, right?"

Thin, pale hands pulled Remy in for a hug, and finally. Remy came home.

——

"Umm… Emile, babe, you're crushing my lungs."

"Oh, oops. Sorry."

"Want to watch Nightmare Before Christmas and do absolutely nothing else?"

"Sounds lovely. Let's do it."

[kaileynel4-blog]

You are all lucky SOB’s!!!

Alrighty, let’s dive right into the issue of my blog....my title is incorrect!!! Yes, this whole time I have had a title I did not mean to have. I mean, it doesn’t really make sense?!? Happiness is contagious, just like a sneeze??? So remember when I wrote my first blog post? The one where I deleted my entry 3 times?!?! So I think that is where my problem all started! I was so frustrated with the fact that I stupidly deleted my blog, that I stupidly wrote the wrong title!? I am not sure where the sneeze part came into play but I meant to say YAWN!! Yawns are contagious, not SNEEZES! Sweet jesus I’m an oblivious idiot sometimes. I think I am just gonna drop the sneeze part and just go with Happiness is Contagious. Sorry for all the confusion and head scratches along the way...I will say one thing though, it sure would have been nice if one of you told me!!! Just said “hey kailey, your title doesn’t make sense...sneezes aren’t contagious...” I blame 20% of this title mistake on you guys!

Anyways, the past few weeks have been a bit more challenging for me and continually learning the ups and downs of living abroad. I have been in Thailand for 5 months now and can’t believe it! Some days it feels like I’ve been gone forever and others like I just left last week. The amount of thinking through my emotions and listening to that little voice in my head, is much more than I anticipated. I am not much of an emotional person...I am not saying that I am heartless person or that I dont have emotions, I just don’t outwardly express them as much as others. So having to deal with these random thoughts and emotions is not my favorite thing to do. There are many ways to cope with your mental state of craziness. Currently, mine is exercise and coffee. Yes, coffee. I try to do some sort of physical activity everyday. It helps with all my anxiousness that I tend to have...sometimes I swear my attention span is like a 5 year olds. The “squirrel” situation happens to me more often than it should :) Coffee...oh the sweet sweet smell of good coffee. Drinking an iced cappuccino helps calm me and has become a comfort thing for me. It is a reminder of home but also brings back all the wonderful times I have had drinking coffee with my favorite people! I feel a sense of normalcy is brought to my not so normal life. I love the adventure that I am on but realized that it’s okay to want a bit of normalcy and miss some comforts of back home. In the beginning, I wouldn’t let myself think about all the things I missed cause I thought it would be harder but then I realized that I am lucky to miss people from home. I am one lucky lady to be living in a place that not many others have experienced. I am lucky to be surrounded by constant support and love. And I am lucky to have dogs all around me and help improve the lives of elephants in SE Asia! Now this is the part where you get to reflect...what makes you feel lucky?? What are the moments in your life where you have just thought “damn, I am one lucky bastard!” How do you cope with your crazy thoughts and emotions? One thing that i am learning along this journey, is to reflect and be grateful everyday that I am alive. If you are still reading my blogs (thank you Mom) I hope the one thing that you have taken away from them is to be grateful. The crappy situation you may think you are in could always be worse and sometimes you just need to remind yourself how fuckin lucky you are to be alive! Here is a photo of me loving life with two of coworkers, Fang and Roger! We were with the volunteers as they walked the elephants to the river!

This past week I had mixed emotions about life...I was feeling homesick and i think in large part due to the fact that my sister and Jacque were visiting and had just left. Words cant begin to describe how amazing it was to have my sister and Jacque come visit me. It is a pretty special thing to be able to share my Thailand home with the one person that I have always looked up to and admired. Being able to show my sister the loving community i live in, the efforts that Bamboo is doing to improve the lives of the elephants and show her why I love working here. I hope that she now has a better sense of what i am doing and understands a bit more as to why I moved here! After my sister and Jacque left, I had a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for a couple days. I was questioning why the fuck I am here, what do i want to get out of working in Thailand and really how much i missed home. As i worked through these emotions, i realized that I chose to do this. this decision was all me. I reached out to Bamboo to see if they had a job opening, I applied and I got the job. I didn’t care what people thought about me moving aboard cause I knew that I wanted to do it and that was all that mattered. I hope that from here on out I will be bold with my decisions, chase after my dreams, continue to spread happiness (even if its not contagious like a sneeze haha) remember how amazing life is when you are living it up, and always encourage those around you to be the best version of themselves.

The level of shits given lately is 0 for me. I am used to the weird Thailand things and know that i just need to accept it and move on. For example, there is a gecko that lives in my room. He poops in the same spot in my room and I cant seem to get him out! Normally, people would freak out about this and maybe even call a terminator. I dont think there is a such thing in Thailand so I just pray every night that I dont wake up with him on my face. In the village, the water goes out during the middle of the day. I have also had to accept this and just do a bucket shower or remain extremely smelly for a few more hours. I realized when my sister was visiting that my level of actual cleanliness is suffering a bit. I just dont really care that i brush my teeth from water that has been sitting in a bucket for who knows how long, or that the dishes we use to eat with everyday sit outside to dry with all the bugs and critters that could potentially crawl on them, or that i swim in a elephant poo infested river twice a week cause i am not gonna pass up swimming with them. I used to refuse to sleep on floors and never really liked camping in tents unless i had a pad. I have slept on the floor with a small thai pad for 5 months now. Some days i would love to have a tempurpedic mattress but for the most part I have done pretty good considering how high maintenance i was about sleeping on the floor. I have survived brushing my teeth in questionable water for 5 months and as long as I brush them i am pretty pleased with myself. There are just some things in life that aren’t worth the energy of worrying about. Accepting this is the hardest part but something I am learning. Thailand so far has taught me to be tougher and a little smellier. We live a pretty cushy and priviladge life in America and it is good to strip yourself of these privileges every once in awhile to really see what your boundaries are. When Jacque and my sister were here, the one thing that Jacque said she realized almost immediately was that she will never complain about water her beautiful plants again. We saw a woman carrying two big buckets of water on the end of a stick and was going to water her crops. We dont have to worry about watering our plants cause all we have to do is turn the hose on and stand there. We also have house plants for our pure enjoyment and dont rely on them to make a living. Appreciation is a huge thing for me and i appreciate every delicious cup of coffee i get, i appreciate all the meals that are cooked for me, I appreciate when my thai coworkers pick me up so i dont have to walk, I appreciate the dark chocolate that my mom sent me, I appreciate the smell of clean laundry and i appreciate most of all the people in my life. So the next time you complain about having to water your plants, drive your nice car to the grocery store, having to take your dog for a walk, or complain about your bed being too small, remember just how fucking lucky we are to have these things in our lives. Some people wont ever have the luxury of having these things so please just be grateful and appreciative of all that you have!

Here is a photo of our staff/family dinners in the village! I LOVE SPICY THAI FOOD!!!!

Here is one last thing before i go...I have fallen in love.......with a dog at the village. Her name is Kao (pronounced like cow) and she is the sweetest dog. I have talked about her before. She is the dog that had 4 litters of puppies and I paid for her to get spayed so she doesn’t have to have any more puppies! Anyways, I want to adopt kao and bring her back home to America to live a spoiled and privileged puppy life. The problem i have run into is that I dont know exactly when I will be coming home for good and need someone to help foster/adopt her. If you are interested in helping me get her to america please let me know! I am looking for someone to temporarily take care of her until i come home. Now i must warn you, if you want to foster her, please dont fall in love with her. She is my dog and I will want her back! It is going to be hard for you cause she is an amazing pup but we can work out a situation where you can still see her. Maybe even puppy sit! Okay, I’m getting off topic here....If anyone would like to help me out with this amazing and sweet dog please let me know! It is a long process to adopt a dog from Thailand so it would take a little while but i would love to get it started. Here are a couple photos of her to make you feel a little guilty and possible persuade you to help out ;) also, if you cant adopt but want to help out financially let me know!

As always i am sending lots of hugs and kisses to those back home. I am grateful everyday that I am alive and happy and I hope that you are too!

Cheers to summer livin and see you all in a month!! If anyone wants to have a slumber party and drink wine when i am home, i am most definitely down for that!

Love you all :)

[makemyskinyoursanctuary]

I hope you take the time to read this. Her story deserves to be heard. For months now, people have been telling me that I am so strong, but my mother was the definition of strength. She was also humble, generous, brave, funny, beautiful, stubborn, selfless and my hero. I'm not sure she ever understood the impact she left on people, especially me. Her story is heavy, from beginning to end. She never let me feel any of the weight. This isn't a read for the light hearted, but I want people to know what a warrior she truly was. My mom was born in Saigon, Vietnam. She was one of six children- the rebellious one at that. She was the socialite, the troublemaker, and very independent. She was the most unique of the sisters, as she was not analytical- she thrived in all forms of art. From early on, my mom was determined to follow her passions even though my grandparents were not able support it while living under the communist reign. She saved up all of her money, bought a classical guitar & sheet music, and taught herself how to play. She used to tell me about how she had a band with her friends and they would get together to sing pop music. Late one night, when my mom was playing, communist officers stood outside and listened for hours. After she finished, they came in and destroyed her instruments and music books.They tried to arrest her for playing songs from "the old country". My grandpa had to beg and pleaded until they agreed not to take her away. My mom was always fearless. She tried to escape the country 9 times, with a few of the attempts leading to jail time. But, even in jail, she made the best of it and made friends. The tenth and final attempt was made with her sister. She was in a group of 71 with 200 people overall that were trying to escape the shore. Her group hid beneath the deck of a disguised cargo ship. Between the captin not making it aboard and the storms that blew them far into the ocean, the two day trip turned into surviving 3 days and 4 nights in the terrifying waters. When they came into the sights of the pirates, they were luckily left alone and not pillaged like many ships before them because of the direction they were coming to shore from. They landed and began their chapter in refugee camps. There they stayed in camps in Thailand and the Philippines for two very difficult years, sometimes not having any food or water. My mom told me stories about sleeping on the ground under trees and collecting rain in plastic bags just to have water to drink. In 1983 the United Nations sponsored my mom and aunt and they moved to Utica. Her fight for the American dream was never easy. She had her heart set on going to college but had to take a job to provide for her and her sister. My mom ALWAYS had the strongest work ethic. She eventually married my father, got the chance to complete a degree in the Science of Photography and then opened our family legacy of Aversa Photography. My parents were a power house. Their business was undeniably one of the best studios of its time. They poured everything into the business and worked around the clock. My mom’s one regret was that she felt like she worked too much when I was young. When my parents eventually divorced, she became the sole owner and continued to keep the business going in case I ever wanted to take it over. Although I had worked in the studio for over a decade and also went to college for a Photo degree, she never pressured me into taking over the business. She always wanted me to create my own legacy and chase my own dreams. She took me to cheerleading practice, piano and violin lessons, theatre and drama club, art classes, voice lessons, choir rehearsals, and even ballet for the couple months I tried it. She actually did ballet herself for a while, which I don't think very many people knew. She was always my number one supporter. She even let me have house shows when venues would back out last minute, knowing how import the local music scene was to me. She also was a huge supporter of my friends. She put so much effort into going to their shows, galleries, and events. She treated so many of my friends as her own children. She just had a natural way of making everyone feel welcome and safe. Last May, my mom found out she might have cervical cancer. Wanting to protect me, she kept me in the dark. She wanted to get everything under control then tell me she was going to be fine. She never got the chance. In June she was forced to tell me about her diagnosis, as she was having trouble with scheduling her hysterectomy and needed me to be on call to take her, something she didn't want me to be a witness to. After a few weeks after her surgery, I took her to her follow up appointment, where the Doctor told her she was in the clear. He looked at me and said she didn't need any further treatment. It would be the same as me getting radiation or chemo because nothing was showing signs of possible cancer. I remember getting in the car after and my mom questioning it and I just tried to reassure her because I heard news that I wanted to hear. Still keeping very quiet about her health. She started to have pain in her leg and side and followed up with the original surgeon. He completely wrote her off and told her that she must be sleeping funny and to follow up with her primary doctor. They scanned and found no cause for the pain, no blood clot, nothing, but during her yearly appointment, her GYN reviewed all the reports and discovered that it stated that there were large fragments of mass remaining in her cervix all along. She fought with her insurance again to get a biopsy. Once again, she kept this from me because she never wanted me to worry. I'm very grateful for her friends that helped her through these times. When she got the biopsy finally scheduled after weeks and weeks, she broke the news that she may not be ok. I took her to get the biopsy and wanting to protect me as always, she waited until after Thanksgiving to tell me the news. My mom was a stage 4 with pelvic cancer. The months that followed were hard and painful. We went in and out of the emergency rooms dealing with the side effects of chemo. She suffered from multiple blood clots, a failing kidney, hallucinations, and hearing that she didn't have options left, but she didn't give up. My mom didn't want to give up for me. She agreed to go to the Roswell Cancer Center in Buffalo and keep fighting. She went through six full rounds of chemo and we hit a dead end. The doctor said we could try to do surgery to alleviate some of her discomfort and maybe eventually try other treatments. In late April, my mom went into surgery and two hours later the doctor came out to speak to me. I'm pretty sure my heart and time stopped completely. I thought he was going to tell me he lost her, as the surgery was so complex, however, he gave us news of a miracle. They were able to remove almost all off the mass and said that she should be able to have many good years ahead, with a few precautionary treatments. The day after the surgery, my mom stood up and walked on her own for the first time in so long. I remember her looking over to Sean and I with tears in her eyes thanking us as she processed everything that had happened to her. This was the first time in so long we felt real hope. She was released, and we took her home to Syracuse. She walked up and down stairs, cooked once in a while and started to have a little bit of life again. Within a few weeks her stomach swelled, and we found out the mass returned. Along with that came the pains in her leg and she once again lost most of the ability to walk. The doctor performed another surgery and placed a drain from the mass in hopes to shrink it to possibly do radiation. I took her to her radiation consultation in June, a year after she told me about her original diagnosis. They said radiation was absolutely not an option. They were going to try a different type of chemo and the chances of it working were below 30%, but if she wanted to they would try. I promise you there is only one worse feeling than explaining to your mother that we've reached the end of the rope. With the little bit of her that was left she decided to try the chemo knowing the chances. Because life wasn't tough enough as is, we lost my grandma the weekend before her scheduled chemo session. My mom was so tough. She wanted to see my grandma off and pay respects and come with us the long, grueling, 4-hour drive to Massachusetts. I think in her heart of hearts she knew it was the last chance to see the whole family at once. We came back that Sunday and Sean took her to chemo on that Tuesday. She really loved Sean and had a special bond with him the entire time she lived with us. When they got home, everything seemed fine. She didn't seem to have any really bad side effects this time around and then Friday came. We called an ambulance and she spent the next two weeks in emergency rooms fighting off sepsis. She spent her last Birthday in the hospital. That's something I'll always hate. Over the two weeks she was in the hospital Sean and I talked and decided we were going to move back to Utica. We didn't know if she had years left, but either way we were willing to commute everyday so that she could be with her community again. She had so many friends from all over, many of which didn't know the gravity of the situation (which I think is why I feel the need to write all of this). When we told her, she tried to fight us, because once again she was looking out for me. She often told me she hated that she was a burden. To this day, I still feel like going through this whole year or so was an honor, but we aren't getting into that yet. When she was finally released, we brought her back to her home. Within an hour people were at our door waiting to see her. My mom was such a special person. We had her next appointment for chemo and as we were driving to Buffalo I could feel something in the Universe shift. I knew this was going to be our last visit. I knew what they were going to say. She was too weak for any treatment. She was angry at the news. She didn't want to stay for her remaining appointments, she just wanted to go home. I had to sit there and plan out Hospice and watch my mom's heart shatter. The ride home however was not as grim as I expected. My mom seemed like there was a weight lifted off of her suddenly and she was in good spirits. The next day we began Hospice and things seemed relatively calm. Last Friday my aunt called me at work, she was visiting my mom for the week, and said something changed. Things didn't seem right. I rushed home and she told me my mom was doing a little bit better than when she called, but my mom wouldn't eat. Saturday morning my mom got up by herself and walked a couple feet, but by the time the night came around she was barely responsive. Sunday my mom was in incredible pain and spoke maybe 3 words. By this time all my aunts were either there, flying in, or in the car driving. I went to get some groceries to make dinner and said I'd be right back. This was the last time my mom kissed me on the cheek. She could barely lift her head or pucker her lips. I came home 15 minutes later to my aunt in the kitchen. We talked for a bit and then I went over to my mom. The time had come, it was beginning. She stopped responding. She was breathing but wouldn't wake up. The next couple days and nights were spent by her bedside. I slept in a chair at night holding her hand. I left to go see the funeral director as we knew it was a matter of time and got the call that it was starting. I rushed home trying to make it in time, but when I walked through the door she was gone. Everyone believes she waited until I wouldn't see, protecting me yet again. I have something inside me that's pushing me to tell these hard parts of her story. She would want anyone to keep fighting. She would want them to not believe the first doctor and to get a second and third opinion. She would want her story to help someone else. My mom's faith through the entire journey was remarkable. She believed that god had a plan and that was why she forgave the original doctor. It's true she was curable at one point, but she said that if God wanted her to live she would. She didn't believe people were meant to be bitter even through all of her hardships. I remember asking her if she was afraid of dying and her concern was that I wasn't ready for her to leave. My mom is undeniably irreplaceable. She is the Queen B. She is the reason I cherish art. She is the reason why I do everything to support the music scene. She is the reason I try to find grace in all situations and only find the best in people. She is the reason I try to be selfless like her and why I will constantly fight to be a better person than the day I was before. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be half the woman she was. I just hope I make her proud. Her struggle is over and even in her passing she continues to teach me how to find strength. There's a void in my heavy heart that will never be filled. I love you forever lady. Thank you for everything, always. I hope that wherever you may be, there are NO peppers on your pizza.

[perrythetired]

2017 ‘Best Happenings’ Tag

My best friend @petrareads made this tag and tagged me in it :D

“Every year on tumblr I see loads of posts about how sucky the year was - and you know sometimes they’re not wrong but I’m not going to forget the good things either.

Last year I made a post about some of the best things that happened to me that year and I’m going to make another one this year!

And I challenge you all to do the same (yes I’m making it a tag. If this is already a tag then I’m just going to go hide in a corner :)) (also I was inspired by @books-and-cookies post when she asked people to send her the best thing that happened to them that year so thank ya)

here we go!” - Petra

Okay so this year hasn’t exactly been the greatest for me as I moved out of a country that I lived in my whole life and into completely different one. I usually like change but this wasn’t the kind that I was looking for. It’s definitely been hard but this tag is a great way for me to put a positive spin on it :D

Let’s goooooooo!

January -  I spent Christmas and the New Year in Hua Hin! This was the last time I was gonna be at this beach which was really weird for me because I had been going there at least twice a year since I was three. I played my ukulele and read Harry Potter by the beach. I had some super fun late night walks on the beach (because I hate walking on the beach during the day) and I rode around the city on a bike with my parents (we each had separate bikes just to clarify). Oh how I miss Hua Hin :’ )

February - February was mostly spent freaking out over my personal project (which I got a 6 on by the way so HAH @ people who said I wouldn’t make it) but in between all of that, I had tons of fun with my friends and classmates and I’m pretty sure this is the month where I accidentally came out like a million times to so many people. I have no idea why. (side note: I was still closeted)

March - I went on resi with my grade and had heaps of fun! I was lucky enough to share a room with my ENTIRE SQUAD and no one else :D Also for some reason, my anxiety levels skyrocketed and I was a nervous mess but I kept on trying to cover it up. Thanks to my amazing friends, every night turned into a group therapy session and we laughed and we cried and we dozed off and eventually fell asleep together :’) it was beautiful.

April - I went to India! Exploring this totally different culture was so interesting and I learned so much! Obviously, there were a lot of things I saw which greatly saddened me, but I also met and learned about so many people that really gave me hope for not only the parts of India that are suffering but for the future of the world. Also I performed at battle of the bands this month! Say whaaaaaat?! Shy Adriana with stage fright was no longer. I NAILED those bass lines, CRUSHED those vocals and KILLED those harmonies. Oh and I had a shit ton, no wait, a FUCK ton of fun :D

May - Imma be honest, this month was a blur. I vaguely remember screaming at my laptop, chugging coffee at midnight, oh and handing in an incomplete lab and still getting a 7 on it... how the fuck did that happen. ( I didn’t have a conclusion or evaluation... and yes I did ask the teacher to make sure I got the correct mark and he said yea sooooooo... I’m not complaining).

June - This month marked the end of my days as an MYP student and my days as a student at my old school. On the last day, I realized how much I had grown as a person in that school. I started off being alone, constantly feeling unwanted and wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Now I have an amazing group of friends who make me feel like I belong somewhere and who help protect me from my own mind. I realized how many important relationships I had made with so many other students from all ages in my school and how we all helped each other out in different ways. As self-centered as this sounds, I realized that I actually mattered to people, which is something little Adriana would never have believed to be true.

July - July was mostly spent in Canada trying to set up some stuff in our new apartment and figuring out how to get around the city. I did have a lot of fun though! Lots of crying myself to sleep because it was finally hitting me that I was leaving Thailand forever and it would be a while before I saw my friends in person again! But there were still lots of fun times! (By fun times I mean eating and sleeping a lot).

August - This was the month where I was officially moving. It hurt like hell to leave behind the city I grew up in along with all my friends, but it also helped me realize how lucky I am. Living there was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I learned so many things that I wouldn’t learn anywhere else and had experiences that helped shape who I am today. My best memory from this month was having a sleepover with my best friends/saviours for the last time. Never did I ever imagine that I would make such amazing friends, so amazing that it would hurt so much to leave them. I am insanely lucky to have a friendship like that.

September - I had my first day of school which went pretty well! I went to Niagara Falls with my mom, my aunt, and my cousin! We went on the Maid of the Mist and got soaking wet! Then we got tickets to go see a play at Niagara on the Lake where the actors gave me a birthday shoutout mid-scene. :D Oh and I also went to the Terry Fox run that my school held and it was heaps of fun and before that, my new classmates invited me out for a birthday lunch and made my day :)

October - I came out to my mom! It did not go well at all! In fact, it was terrible! But I still did it! And I was incredibly hurt but also incredibly proud of myself because I am a total coward! I refuse to do anything that’s even the slightest bit risky! Yet I still did this! And it feels good to not be in the closet anymore! I also came out to the rest of my friends and that went super well :) And I came out to some of my classmates at school who were incredibly supportive (especially when I told them I was about to come out to my homophobic parents) and they did so many little things that just helped me so much throughout the entire process. They’re such great people :D I also dressed up as Ryuk from Deathnote for Halloween with my friend who dressed up as Misa. Oh and this was also the month where I went to my first BP debate tournament. It wasn’t great, I was super nervous and there was this dude from my grade who I never talk to and he was debating and I had to debate against him and he scares the shit out of me. I’ve never actually talked to him but he seems scary and my friend agrees. So apart from being scared shitless by the debate dude from our grade, getting CRUSHED by opponents and humiliated by judges, we made some awesome friends from other schools and we both suffered together which definitely made us closer.

November - It snowed this month! It was the first time I had seen snow since I was like eight! It was awesome. Okay so it didn’t really snow that much, there were just a couple of flurries but it was super fun. The day after it snowed I got together with my friend group at one of their houses up north and we had so much fun. We watched Tangled while stuffing our faces with ice cream, danced along to BTS (and other Kpop bands’) dance practices and to top it all off we went out for dinner by going through my friend’s backyard, trying not to tumble down a hill full of snow and leaves and branches, walked for a bit through a forest (it wasn’t really a forest, I don’t really know what to call it), tried not to fall while climbing up a hill, probably tresspassed and made our way into a subway to get some sandwiches. I also switched out of physics into history and realized that my TOK, Spanish and History teacher is actually the best person on this planet and has helped me SO MUCH through my rough patches this year.

December - Like Petra said, “December isn’t over yet!” But I did do some pretty cool things. I signed up to do hair and makeup for my school’s play, not really knowing what I was getting myself into (I just wanted CAS points) and I ended up realizing that I’m not half bad at doing makeup and I’m actually pretty good at doing hair. After three nights of doing hair and makeup, on the last night I was invited to the after party! This was the first party I had ever gone to! People got really drunk or really high, I managed to stay the sober and responsible one (along with a bunch of my friends) and I had heaps of fun dancing to Russian rave music while scarfing down a pizza and feeding chips to one of my drunk friends (yes I know that doesn’t really sound like fun but it was funny). And today it snowed! Like a lot! I’ve never ever been in so much snow in my life. It was amazing! So yea.

Despite going through a HUGE change this year, I still had fun :) There were still good things that happened to me. And if I hadn’t moved, I wouldn’t have met all the new amazing people I now have in my life.

I tag: @fantasymirror and @strangertae (hi strangertae! We don’t really know each other but this is a cool tag so yea :D )

[rosaetae]

the best thing he never had ; four

one , two , three , four , five

pairing; jungkook x reader

genre; best friend!au

word count; 4.8k

summary; in this story, you have known your best friend for more than 15 years and you were utterly and wholly in love with him

You promised that you would get to tell him.

Soon, that is.

But not now— not when he had been stressing out over midterms and you, being just as busy with packing your things and talking with the administrator back and forth about how your trip would all go down.

The global internship was a chance for you to finally do something that you loved and prove that you are worthy of something more than just purely passing every midterm and getting good grades effortlessly (at least that's what they say when you're not listening). But truly, you knew that this internship to see dozens of places could help you go back to your roots and experience the many things you wouldn't be able to do with just plain studying.

You were going to Australia, the first place that your mother took you when you were seven and you could vaguely remember the streets that everyone walked on all throughout the day and you grasping onto your mother's arm as tightly as you could in fear of getting side tracked and losing her all at once.

She took you there as apart of her job as an anthropologist, and for a few weeks stayed at the breathtaking Melbourne, you managed to pick up that Australian accent until you went back home. And you remember very clearly your mom telling you that story about how you would never stop saying the stereotypical phrase of 'g'day mate' over and over again to certain strangers.

It was one of the moments you cherished, and you promised you would go back and visit Melbourne, the city in which lies within your heart. You promised you would relive the memories that you and your mother made for her and for yourself.

But, slowly and surely, the thought of Jungkook's reaction when you tell him about it finds its way to creep up from the back of your mind, yearning for you to tell him sooner the more you blow it off. And yet, you always ignore it, telling yourself that you would do it soon. Just not now.

Waking up that late morning with the sun gleaming through windows, however, you realize that it was the day you were spending quality time with him, and you were going to tell him— just not sure when.

But after dragging yourself out of bed, you receive an immediate call from Jimin— as if he knew you just finally got up— him greeting you a good morning when you were in the midst of brushing your teeth.

"So, what's the plan?" He dove right into it.

You spat out the toothpaste into the sink before you answered. "Spending the day with him."

"That's all?" Jimin inquires, you gargling water before spitting out.

"Yeah, that's it. I'll tell him after today," you confirm, pressing the phone between your shoulder and ear as you went to grab your breakfast out of your mini fridge. "I mean, I haven't hung out with him in awhile, so it would be nice to catch up after his weeks with Seoyeon."

"Speaking of the devil," he nearly shivers as he says that and you simply chuckle at that. "Aren't you worried that she's going to lash out on you again?"

You pause at that, setting down your cheese and bread onto the table. Tentatively, you speak into the phone. "Honestly, at this point, I don't care anymore. I'll be out of her sight in a couple of days."

"You have to tell him, Y/N. It will be a couple of days in a blink of an eye—"

"I know, I know," you wave him off.

"You better bring me back some cool stuff. Like— a keychain or a bracelet would be nice."

"And who said I'm bringing you souvenirs? You didn't bring me back anything when you went to Thailand."

"I didn't have time!" Jimin exclaims and you laugh.

"I didn't have time," you mimic, him scoffing at your immaturity as you both exchange laughs afterwards.

After talking for a bit more, Jungkook arrives at your place after you hung up, him smiling brightly when he sees that you were drinking out of your juice pouch— admiring that your childish personality still radiates off of you as of today despite your constant claims of needing to grow up and mature as a responsible adult.

But, to him, seeing you drink from your juice pouch with your eyes that still sparked some light into his life, felt as if it were a deep breath of fresh air, because after all the years, you are the only thing in his life that never changed.

You smile at him, unaware that you were staring and examining his facial traits. You notice that he had grown some dark circles under his eyes and he looks incredulously tired, but he seems to be hiding it with a smile plastered onto his face.

"Let me guess; are you on 2 hours of sleep?" You scoff as you take out the juice pouch out of your mouth. Jungkook shook his head, smile still evident. "3 hours?"

"4 hours," he responds nonchalantly. "Pretty good for someone who hasn't been sleeping this whole week."

You roll your eyes at his irresponsibility of not getting sleep as you grabbed your bag from the hooks pounded behind your front door. "This is why you shouldn't procrastinate a week before mid-terms— especially when you sleep during your classes."

You hear him snicker behind you as you lock the door before you left the building, Jungkook shrugging as if it weren't a big deal. "Well sorry if we can't always sleep 7 hours a night all the time. Unlike you, I have a life to live."

At that moment, you chewed on the inside of your cheek as he rose his chin high when you both walked out of the building, greeting some of the people downstairs with a smile.

That's right, you simply thought. He has a life to live, too.

"So, tell me, what are we doing today?" Jungkook asks when you both step outside underneath the rays of the sun.

"We," you start as you look up at him. "My dear friend, are going biking around the park."

The last time both of you biked was in 5th grade and you were teaching Jungkook how to ride one. Luckily to say, after a few falls and scratches, he finally got the hang of it. In total, he had 4 bandaids on his arm and a few on his fingers, and both knees were bleeding. But, luckily, right before you were giving up on him, he finally learned how to balance properly.

So you would understand his shocked expression when you told him that you were biking after almost 10 years of not biking.

But, ever since then, you both biked around the town until you grew out of those wheels and decided that walking around was more peaceful.

"Y/N," Jungkook tentatively says your name as you gave the money to the bike owner, giving him enough money to rent two bikes for a couple of hours. "How are we-"

"Have fun," the bike owner said and you were off, throwing one leg over the bike seat and sitting comfortably while you kicked the stand off the ground. You balanced with your hands on the handles.

Peeking at Jungkook, you watch him slowly sit onto the bike, trying to get used to the mechanical transport that led to some scary but memorable childhood memories. You could tell he was a bit iffy when he began to sit on top of it, having you snicker slightly at the sight of it; as if he was a child afraid to go near the shark tank.

Seeming that he was taking forever, you sigh and tell him, "Race you to the river!"

And off you went, knowing perfectly well that your best friend, was a competitive person; and he will do everything in his power to make sure he wins. The sun was still out, but barely anyone was out enjoying the nice day, giving you a perfect path to bike along.

"Did you really think you were going to beat me?" Jungkook huffs right beside you once he catches up to you. "That's hilarious."

You roll your eyes at his competitive state that brought out his inner arrogance that was more arrogant than he already was. "Calm down, Jeon. I was just giving you a push to finally get on that damn bike."

He chuckles as he slows his speed to match yours.

"Don't get too excited about winning," you say with a smile. "Enjoy the day while it lasts."

Jungkook looks at you for a moment when you had stated that and he doesn't know what happened, but when he had looked at you, the sun had hit you perfectly, and for some odd reason, his eyes did not leave your form. You were this strange, unusual gem and the way that the sun radiated off of you was the image that had burnt into his mind when he knew at that moment, there was something odd about the way you looked in his eyes.

But that split moment was torn when he realized that he was falling off course and went the wrong path as you. Realizing this, you laugh loudly at how he took the downhill route that would lead him farther away from the river.

Jungkook groans at the realization of this, realizing that someone like you had distracted him from winning a small race against you.

When you reached over to the river, you realized that you were the first one to arrive and you were the only one to be at the river, seeing that no one was near you.

Hopping off your bike and setting it under a tree with shade, you kick off your shoes to feel the cold grass underneath, as you neared the river. Setting yourself a few feet away, you sat down and smile at the refreshing feeling and when you remember the last memory of being at the river.

You two were kids when you came to the river. It was just a simple picnic day with his and yours parents when you both had challenged each other to race to the river. You won, of course, because at the time, you had longer legs than him— until he hit the beginning of high school and his growth spurt finally happened and he was able to pass the short jokes that you made on him onto you.

That thought faded when you heard heavy breathing and the wheels of the bike squeak behind you, realizing that Jungkook finally made it.

"Took you long enough," you call out, eyes training upon the calm water.

"Listen, I could have beaten you-"

"But you couldn't," you teasingly taunt.

"Whatever," he scoffs as his ego was hit.

Just then, you heard clothes scuffing against each other before you saw your best friend in nothing but his boxers run into the river, splashing against the water as he exclaimed out of excitement.

You laugh, shaking your head at your mischievous friend, standing up when you felt a few water drops hit you.

"Come on!" Jungkook cheers once he reaches the surface as he shakes his wet hair like a dog, making you laugh loudly.

You shake your head, watching him enjoy himself in the clear lake.

"Come on! Enjoy the while it lasts!"

Hearing him say that made you look at him once more as he motions you over.

Usually, you wouldn't fall for it and usually, you would have just sat there and let him have his time enjoying himself. But for some odd reason, you found yourself rolling your eyes and standing up, stripping off to your plain grey bra and black undies, and usually, you would get self conscious about your body, but you could feel Jungkook's eyes staring at you in awe at your complete 180. 

For him, the least he's ever seen you was at least a bra and undies and seeing you discarding your clothes with the rest of his as you ran towards the river, embracing yourself for a cold hit.

Once you dove in, you didn't expect it to be deeper than you thought, but it was shallow enough that the surface was below your chin. When you rose to surface, eyes wide at the sudden rush that went through you, you heard the meticulous laughter of the boy that easily made your cheeks pink.

"There we go!" He yells, splashing you water cheerfully. Splashing him back, you both fought in the water, you throwing yourself onto his back and letting him go under the water for a few seconds to catch him off guard.

Then unexpectedly, Jungkook has his hands under the back of your legs and your neck, throwing you back into the water that had you shriek at his sudden counterattack. When you rose to surface, you glared at him as he doubled over laughter, hands clenching at his stomach.

The rest of the time was he and you both swimming in laughter and the audible splashes of the waters.

But, as you were caught off guard trying to take out the hair tie in your hair, you begin to realize that it suddenly got quiet.

You turn around, checking the water to see where he went, your heart pounding.

"Jungkook?" You yell, almost panicking. "Jungkook!"

Next thing you know, you had brought yourself into the cold water, hands spreading out and eyes alert for anything moving. You continuously yell his name, heart pounding if something bad had happened to him.

Just as you were in the midst of your Jungkook search, something had jumped out of the water, making you scream at the sudden appearance as you felt that something— someone— was behind you, hands on your waist.

Swiftly turning around, you face a chuckling Jungkook who had made you scream with his prank. You sigh aggravated, your fists hitting his chest as his laughter died, trying to dodge your hits and blows. "Don't ever do that! You gave me a heart attack!"

"Hey hey," Jungkook says, his eyes staring at yours with sincerity as you scowl at him, your hands fisted and still against his chest. "I'm fine. Nothing's going to happen to me."

You don't say anything at that moment. Instead, you stare at him, your eyes examining his and you couldn't stop your heart from beating so loud. Especially with your fist against his chest, you could feel his heart, having your cheeks flush into a pink tint that could be very evident.

Jungkook gulps, the image of you completely in his grasp, staring at him had him admittedly nervous— especially when he realized how prettier you have gotten since the high school days when you had large glasses framing your face. And sure, he's noticed that you've gotten pretty, but at that exact epoch, his eyes grazed your eyelashes that shielded your eyes and your cheeks that looked awfully alluring when tinted pink.

How he could kiss you in a second.

You don't know why you decided to let the stares linger, but you didn't know how to break it off either.

So, you bask in that moment, knowing very well that this may be the only happy moment between you and him that will be.

"Y/N, I-"

You cut him off after hearing in the distance, you hear what sounded like the subtle barks of a dog coming near, having you result to pull away from Jungkook who had finally got the realization of what happened when the warmth of your touch in his hand and the warmth of your presence near him had disappeared.

Jungkook watches you swim over to the side and hop onto the grass, walking to your dry clothes that you had used to dry your hair a bit. Following, Jungkook reaches over for to where his fallen jacket was and placed it over your shoulders, you slightly jumping at that sudden gesture.

"Hey," you break the very evident awkwardness that was noticeably thick in the air. "Let's get ice cream."

Jungkook, who had chuckled at your love for ice cream, nods and looks at you with a smirk. "You're thinking what I'm thinking?"

And you two were indeed thinking what you both were thinking.

The Moo-Moo Station — your number one ice cream place that you two went as children. It has always been your favorite and not one ice cream shop can top it. You and Jungkook spent many memories in that place and it would be every weekend you would ice cream together.

You always went for something simple— like strawberry— on a waffle cone and Jungkook always experimented with crazy flavors that are either the worst or the best.

As you finish ordering your ice cream and reminiscing the past in between, you both walk out with grins at the sight of the highlight of your childhood in your hands.

As Jungkook takes a lick into his rocky road ice cream— which surprisingly he never had— he smiles as a thought occurs to him. "Remember when I tried that cherry flavored ice cream-"

"And you had an allergic reaction? I could never forget when your face became swollen— it was like you were stung by a hundred bees," you chuckle at that funny memory when even Jungkook's tongue was swollen that he couldn't tell you what was happening.

"I didn't know I was allergic to cherries!"

Laughing at him, you licked your ice cream slowly, your mind debating whether or not you should tell him at this moment. If you tell him now, there would be a chance he would leave in complete anger and leave you stranded; but if you were to tell him later, there could be a chance that he would never talk to you— especially when your flight leaves in a couple of days.

So you decide to go for the kill.

"Hey, Jungkook?" You stare at your ice cream in your hand.

He hums in response, treasuring the different flavors of ice cream he got in a single waffle cone.

"I have something to tell you," you pause slightly. "And I don't want you-"

You were cut off when his phone rang in the pocket of his jacket, having you hitch your breath.

"Give me a second, it's Seoyeon," he says before he answers his phone, your stomach dropping. "Hey— woah, calm down. Yeah, I'm out with Y/N. Is there something wrong? Okay, okay. See you later. I love you, too. Bye."

Not going to lie, but it hurt. You were hurt and anxious and nervous that for some reason, you don't feel like eating the ice cream anymore. So you stared at it, lips pursing together.

Jungkook hung up, shoving the phone back into his pocket, and took a lick before looking at you curiously and asking, "What did you need to tell me?"

"Nothing," you quickly answer, eyes shooting up to look at him and hiding every emotion in you with a humble smile. "Nothing, it's dumb."

"Are you sure?"

You look away, nodding. "Yeah, don't worry about it."

He stares at you for a split moment, only to shrug it off, believing the words that you say.

"You were with Y/N?" Seoyeon calls out from the living room as she hears the door slam and the fumbling of keys, indicating that Jungkook was finally home in their shared apartment.

"Well, hello to you too," Jungkook sarcastically greets before he stops when he took one step in the living room, seeing that Seoyeon was sitting on their suede couch, legs and arms crossed and lips pursed.

"What's going on?" Jungkook raises an eyebrow, confused and curious as to why she was sitting in the living room with a new dress he had never seen her wear before.

"What's going on?" She scoffs as she stands up, eyebrows furrowing and mouth dropping at her boyfriend's ignorance. "Jungkook, it's 8."

"And?" Jungkook asks, completely confused as he didn't have a curfew assigned last time he checked.

"It's 8 and you spent the whole day with Y/N," she sneers.

"What's wrong with that?"

"We had reservations at 7," she finalizes before Jungkook's eyes softened, remembering that they planned that reservation a couple weeks beforehand. He drags his hand across his face, sighing when he begins to realize that he just blew off a date unintentionally.

"Seoyeon, I am so sorry—" Jungkook begins before Seoyeon shakes her head.

"I don't want you to be with Y/N anymore," she affirms, having Jungkook stare at her in total disbelief at her seriousness. "I don't want you near her."

"Wha—"

"You heard me. Jungkook, don't you realize what she's been doing?"

"And don't you realize how unreasonable you're being—"

"She's ruining us, Jungkook!" Seoyeon fumes, hands flailing in the air with an ablaze anger that could have lit the whole home on fire. "I was nice enough to let it go one time, but I will not let it go this time."

Jungkook exasperatingly sighs, mind not being able to circle around her sudden accusation of you. "What are you talking about?"

"I have eyes, too, Jungkook, and it's not hard to see that she wants to end our relationship!"

He shakes his head, not believing one single word that she says. Even if it were true, he truly wishes it weren't.

"Don't you see? This is what she wants!" Seoyeon exclaims at his denial, her eyes looking up at the ceiling trying her very hardest to not a single tear out of her eyes. "She wants me to get angry at you so that this would happen! She wants this to happen so it would end our relationship!"

"No, she doesn't."

"She's in love with you! It's obvious from the way she looks at you."

Jungkook stares at her, gaze fixed on her as once again, he did not believe a single thing that left her mouth.

"Why do you think she wanted to go out with you today? The same day that we had reservations for that new restaurant we both wanted to try down the street?"

"That was my fault, okay—"

"Of course! Because it's always Y/N, right?" She snaps, stabbing her finger against his chest with wet eyes glinting at him. "It's always Y/N. It will always be Y/N."

Jungkook grabs her wrist, his jaw tightening as he saw that her eyes had made him feel completely guilty. And before he realizes, her tears were staining his black shirt as he brought her close, his hand stroking her hair, attempting to calm her down.

"I don't want to lose you," she chokes out. "I am so afraid to lose you, Jungkook."

He shushes her quietly, holding her tight in his arms. "And you won't. I promise."

And as Seoyeon was being held and consoled that night, she did feel a bit guilty as she is human. But as the night ended with unsaid kisses and marks that were to be for sure evident the next morning, she would smirk at the sight of her Jungkook sleeping soundly beside her, falling for the little stunt with the fake tears and accusations spilled tonight so you would not dare enter their life anymore.

"I can't believe you waited until the day before you were going to leave to tell him this," Jimin says during your call on your way to Jungkook's place. "You should have told him the day you spent time with him."

You had called Jimin, knowing that he would make sure you were prepared for anything— whether for the tears that was caused because you would be losing your one best friend who has known you since you were little or just the sad thought that you would lose the privilege to talk to him for awhile. Either way, Jimin was there to reassure you that you had 8 months to yourself. 8 months to go out and enjoy the life you set yourself for and not to worry about one little thing about guilt and sorrow.

And without Jimin, you would have been all melancholy for those 8 months because today, you were going to meet Jungkook one last time before your flight tomorrow night.

Bags are packed at your dorm, you had your set schedule thanks to your professor who was able to help arrange everything, and you had yourself.

"I know, I know" you chuckle, trying to stay positive. "He's going to hate me, but hopefully not forever."

"Fingers crossed," Jimin humors along as you walk inside the building with stomach churning.

"Going inside the elevator now," you document and you hear him chuckle over the line.

"Alright, just don't be nervous. Rip the bandage off and leave it at that. Alright?"

"Yeah, okay," you agree.

"Okay," he says. "Good luck."

"Thank you, Jimin," you thank before he hums in response and hangs up for his class that starts in a couple of minutes, leaving you to take continuous shallow breaths, feeling queasy as the elevator took you up to his floor and your legs had taken you to the front of his door.

You took a second to compose yourself before you knocked on the door slowly, eyes lowering down to your toes as you tried to count to 100 in your head with fingers fidgeting.  

Out of all your years knowing Jungkook, this was the first time you ever got really nervous about admitting something to him. But there's always a first for everything.

Your counting stops at 7 when the door is suddenly opened to a shirtless Jungkook who stares at you blandly, and it didn't help that you were basically sweating buckets in front of him.

"Hi," you finally let out after you notice that his eyebrow rose and his eyes staring at you, wondering why you were there standing in front of him.

"Hi?" He repeats and you try to smile at him.

"Is Seoyeon here?" You politely ask and Jungkook's expressions don't change for one bit, having you gulp audibly. "Can I come in?"

Jungkook brings the door closer to him, blocking you from stepping in. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Then your eyebrows rose up in surprise at his sudden defense— as if he was treating you like a stranger that he's never seen before.

"Oh, okay," you go along with it, lips pressing into a thin line. "Is everything okay?"

He doesn't respond. Instead, his eyes were just studying your eyes, facial expression hard as a rock and out of all your years of seeing right through him, it was if you were staring at a wall. Then that's when you chew on the inside of your cheek.

"Did Jimin tell you or something?" You stutter quietly.

"Tell me what? That he was involved in your plan to ruin my relationship with Seoyeon?" He practically spat out that you only result to blinking at this sudden accusation you couldn't wrap your brain around.

And after staring at him in disbelief, you come to terms as to what he was talking about.

"So the bitch finally snapped," you quietly mutter under your breath. "What other lies has she been feeding you?"

"Don't you dare say she's lying to me. Ever since I introduced you to her, you have been acting weird—"

You scoff. "I've been acting weird?"

"You sure as hell aren't the Y/N I know," he sneers, having you replace your anxiety to complete anger at his crazy assumptions that were all caused by the girl who was probably laughing in the other room.

"Then who the hell is the Y/N you know?"

"The Y/N I know would have respected my relationship at all costs— not ruin the relationship for her selfish deeds! But this Y/N? In front of me? She's a completely different person in my eyes."

Each word had hit you like a dagger. Constantly stabbing you at your legs, arms, body, and heart. You didn't know if you should feel betrayed. You didn't know if you should scream at him for being blind. You didn't know if you should just break down so instead, you nod understandingly.

"Fine. Say all you want, but answer me this," you began, not believing that you— even you— had to result to this. "Is it her or me?"

He looks at you, baffled at your question. "The Y/N I know wouldn't make me choose-"

"But I'm not the Y/N you know right now. So, tell me Jungkook, is it the girl you've been with for a couple months? Or the person who has been with you since you were a child?"

Jungkook looks at you for a moment, his mouth opening to answer, but closing again.

But, that single moment was enough for you to know your answer.

"And the Jungkook I know wouldn't have hesitated."

[staytheb]

Like Oh 2.0 - Secret Room

Previous Chapter: #HAPPYBIRTHDAYMARKTUAN Word Count: 2,492 Summary: It’s Serena’s birthday and the boys wanna celebrate it. Of course, Serena isn’t in the mood and runs away to her sanctuary.

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hi. i’m working on this, but it’s slower than i had anticipated. anyways, hang in there and it’ll be over soon enough! lol but yeah, happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

"Pause it." Melanie told Srena as they were watching the latest episode of I Can See Your Voice Thailand with the band ETC. while standing up to answer the door. "Why?" Serena asked as she did what her sister told her while watching her head towards the door. "We're almost done and then we can finally go to sleep." Melanie didn't respond, but instead opened the door and Serena heard several voices she was all too familiar with. She let out a sigh, but cast the group a tired smile while waving from the couch. "Hi. " She remembered the time. "It's late. Don't you have a comeback soon?" She checked her phone and saw that it was almost eleven.

Jackson ran over and joined Serena on the couch while pulling her in for a tight hug. "Why didn't you tell us it was your birthday today? We only have like an hour to celebrate it together!" Serena tried to push him away while trying to breathe. "I can't breathe, Jackson." "Sorry, noona." Jackson let go, but Serena still pushed the male away from her as she also moved to back away from the idol. "Who told you?" "Mark hyung and Chaewon noona." Jackson pointed behind her as Serena cast her eyes towards Melanie who waved at her with a smirk. "Bam texted me if Mark was right about it being your birthday today." "I see." Serena sighed as she ran a hand through her hair as she cast Mark a look who smiled at her.

"What's wrong, noona?" BamBam asked as he sat next to Serena as she was now sitting in-between him and Jackson. "We can't celebrate our friends' birthdays?" "You have a lot of friends, Bam. I'm fine if we don't." Serena deadpanned as she looked towards the older members. "What about your schedules?" She asked and looked over at Youngjae. "And to celebrate Youngjae's birthday, too." Youngjae beamed. "Thanks for remembering my birthday, Jyongri noona." "You're welcome and happy birthday to you, too." "Thanks." Yugyeom noticed there were no cake or balloons around. "Did you not celebrate your birthday, Jyongri noona?"

Serena shook her head. "I'm not one for celebrating like Chaewon." She smiled at the younger man. "I had breakfast and lunch with Chaewon and my friend. That's all I did." "Still a good way to celebrate." Jinyoung smiled at her as Serena grinned at the male. "True, Jinyoung. Anyways, Chaewon, can we get back to finishing this last episode please?" "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that." Melanie said as she sat on the floor before answering the door while the others made themselves comfortable within the living room as well. "What are you guys watching?" Jaebeom asked as Serena was about to hit the play button. "The Thai version of I Can See Your Voice."

"I heard about this. My mom watches this, too." BamBam said with a nod of his head. "Do you guys watch the Korean one, too?" "Sometimes." Melanie answered. "Just certain clips." "Which reminds me, Chaewon, I need to show you a clip from yesterday's episode." Serena smiled secretively at her sister who gave her a weird look. "Why?" "You'll find out after." "I thought you wanted to sleep." "Yeah, not gonna happen. Anyways, let's finish this." Serena hit the play button with her remote where the lead singer of ETC. was currently singing the song and the audience had to wait to see if the person they had chosen was a good singer or a bad singer.

Unconsciously Serena spoke in English. "Do you think F's skilled or tone-deaf?" "Dunno." Melanie replied back in English. "You?" "He looks skilled and I hope he is." And when it finally revealed that F was indeed a skilled singer both of the sisters cheered along with the judges and crowd. "I knew it! I knew it!" Serena cheered as Melanie complimented on his voice. "Dude, F's voice is amazing." "His voice really matches well with Neung ETC. and sounds almost similiar." GOT7 watched the sisters not saying anything while they looked at one another already knowing full well that they were once again invisible to the pair.

"Okay, Lani," Serena still spoke in English once the show ended. "That clip I wanted to show you." "I'm going to use the bathroom first." Melanie told her sister also using English as she got up to use the toilet while Serena went to find the clip. "Oricon Chart number 3 CODE-V." GOT7 read the title out loud as they looked at Serena. "Is this still the same show?" Mark asked as she shot the idol a slightly disappointed look, but realized it wasn't his or the others fault for not knowing since this group she was about to show them wasn't all that active in South Korea anymore, but in Japan instead. "It's something like a hint towards the singer." Serena explained. "But the Korean version."

"Start it." Melanie said returning from the bathroom as Serena beamed. "Let me know if you recognize them because you'll recognize the song first." Serena hit play and once Melanie heard the beginning of the song play she instantly had a feeling, but couldn't quite think of the group's name. "Oh, you like them a lot. It's that one popular song of theirs." Melanie spotted the main guy in the middle and saw the two females. "Oh, Davichi." "They're the guest, but do you now the guy?" "Um," Melanie wasn't sure until the guy started singing and it came to her. "Naro, right? CODE-V. That's the group." "Yeah. Naro of CODE-V. The song's called Poisoning."

"Are they not known in South Korea?" Jaebeom asked interested in the clip as BamBam pointed at the crowd appearing on the background screen. "They're famous." "I don't know them." Yugyeom stated with a confused look as Youngjae agreed. "Yeah, I've never seen them." "It's because they debuted back in two-thousand and seven under BLESS, but became CODE-V later in two-thousand and ten. They're last Korean promotion was back in two-thousand and eleven. They've been promoting in Japan since then." Serena explained the group's situation to them just as the clip ended. "I'm glad they're still around despite their situation."

"Hope we get a chance to appear on the show some day." Youngjae smiled. "It'll be fun." "I'm sure you guys would do great." Melanie assured them before looking at the others. "What do you guys wanna do?" "How about a birthday sing-off?" Jinyoung suggested as he looked at both Youngjae and Serena. "Since Jyongri noona's birthday is almost ending and Youngjae's about to start, it'll be fun." "I definitely agree to this." Jackson grinned as he wrapped an arm around Serena's shoulders. "Don't you think so, noona?" "No." Serena deadpanned. "Not feeling it." She looked at them with a neutral face. "I mean, you guys can do it. Just leave me out of it."

"Are you afraid of a little competition?" Mark asked her with a small laugh as Serena rolled her eyes dramatically while responding to the idol in a sarcastic yet playful tone. "Oh yeah, Mark. Me, who's never had professional training going against a bunch of idols whose trained and debuted as an actual group. No way am I afraid of a little competition." "So, I'll take that as a yes." Mark grinned as Serena frown with a deep sigh  while standing up and stretching. "Y'all can set it up. If you guys can, then I'll join in on your little sing-off." Serena grinned at. "But if you break it, then you guys can't come over anymore to play with any of my stuff."

Mark frowned. "But that means I can't play the game consoles anymore." "Exactly." Serena smirked as Mark shot her a betrayed look. "Wow, that's low." Serena shrugged as Melanie called her sister out on her bullshit. "She's lying. She just doesn't want to do anything and using that as an excuse to get you guys to leave." "That's mean of you, noona." Yugyeom pouted. "I thought we were friends." "You guys are such babies." Serena commented with a laugh as she began to walk away towards her bedroom. "Do what you want. Just please don't break anything." Serena pointed at her sister while walking pass the female. "You're in charge, Won. You can baby-sit them." "What?" Jackson let out a bit offended by the comment. "We're not kids!"

"Mmhmm." Both sisters hummed as Melanie stood up to stretch and Serena had rushed inside her bedroom. "Yeah or not?" Melanie asked the idols. "I don't got all night." "No you don't, noona." Jackson countered as she cast a mischievous look in his directtion. "Wanna try me?" "No, not really." Jackson backed off with a laugh as Jinyoung spoke. "All we need to do is make sure that we don't break anything this time around. Right" "Yes, Jinyoung. That's right." She looked at the others with a pointed look. "Can y'all manage that?" "Yes." They answered with a 'duh' like tone as Melanie smirked. "Alright. Get to it."

While the group of eight were too busy setting up the karaoke machine and focusing on making sure they weren't going to break anything under Melanie's watchful gaze, Serena quietly tip-toed out of her room and towards the closet near the entrance. She quietly opened the door and stepped inside while carefully closing it shut with a soft clicking sound behind her. Using the soft light from her phone, Serena navigated the walk-in closet towards the way back of it to a secret compartment that actually led to the small apartment next door of 503. Serena made sure that the closet was kept neat to maneuvered around whenever she felt like it and kept it as a secret for only she and her aunt Julisa knew about it.

At first Julisa stayed in 501 and Serena stayed in 503 when Serena came to live with her aunt. It wasn't until the aunt redesigned the space after knowing Melanie and the twins were going to live and study in Seoul that the aunt talked with the landlord about turning 501 into a bigger apartment while 503 became somewhat of a loft style apartment. Julisa gave Serena 503 and would somehow connect the two together so that access was made easier between both. Serena told no one so she could keep it to herself as her aunt had forgotten about it once it was finished since her time in South Korea was done and left everything in Serena's care.

Serena made it through the secret doorway and into her loft apartment while leaving the others behind to have fun on their own in the bigger one. She didn't mind them, but she felt like she hasn't had any alone time to herself since becoming friends with the idols. Serena shut the door gently, stretched happily while walking towards the fridge, and opened it to reveal nothing. "I should've taken some food before coming here." She shut the fridge and rolled her head back to stare at the ceiling. "Or I could run down to the store." She nodded already making up her mind, but frowned. "I knew I should've kept some of my things here. Fuck my life."

Serena swiftly made her way back to the other side as she quietly re-emerged into 501. She noticed the group were still occupied by setting up the karaoke system. Serena tip-toed ran to her room to quickly grab her tote bag that already had her money, spare glasses, and other set of keys in it. Serena once again quietly made her way back to the closet and was still surprised that the group were focused on making sure to not damage the system and were determined to actually do the sing-off. Once safely back inside room 503 Serena place her tote bag onto the small table and went to use the toilet before actually heading out to run her errands.

Once she relieved herself Serena happily stretched out her limbs while walking back to the table to grab her things. "Now to buy food." Just as she was about to walk out of the apartment she heard someone speaking from above her. "So, Serena, this must be your secret hideout from the world?" Serena's head shot up to see Mark peering down at her from over the railing of where the sleeping area was located. "How did you get in here?" Serena asked instead of answering his question with a shocked expression as she looked around to see if the others were around. "The same way you did." He answered before slowly swinging himself over the railing and landing softly at the main floor.

"It's just me." Mark grinned at the female before walking around the area as Serena observed him a bit curiously although she didn't say anything while he scanned her walls and shelves filled with pictures and other decorations. "You spend more time here than the other one." "Why do you say that?" "This one actually feels like home." The idol caught her eye and she nodded. "Something like that." Serena coughed as she averted her gaze elsewhere. "How did you know about the secret entrance?" Mark was about to climb back up the stairs and instead stood at the bottom of it while looking over at her with a silly smile.

"I saw you coming out of the closet and was wondering why it was taking you so long to come out as you had also shut the door upon entering it." The idol explained as the female listened to his explanation. "Then I saw you going back in while carrying your things and shutting the door again." Mark shrugged a bit afterwards with a small laugh. "I knew you were weird, Serena, but I mainly got curious." "I see." She made her way around the table and took a seat upon one of the two chairs as she now didn't feel like going out. "Does anyone else know about your secret?" She heard Mark asked and she tilted her head while looking at him. "What secret?"

"This apartment." Mark clarified as he made himself comfortable at the bottom of the stairs. "Oh. Aunt Julisa's the only one that knows as she did them both." She answered. "So that's why the other one is much bigger." "Yeah." Serena began playing with her hands as she turned in the chair to face the idol. "So," She began as Mark quirked a brow. "So what?" "You gonna leave any time soon?" "Do you want me to leave?" "Honestly, yeah." Serena answered and noticed the sudden shift in Mark's expression and quickly try to reassure the male. "But I mean, they're having a party back there and I would prefer to be away from the noise." He regarded her a bit with a smile. "What if I wanna be away from the noise, too?"

[alwaysbemymaybe-phff]

Chapter 5

An Invitation

Bella hadn’t heard from Harry for a fortnight. Not that she mind, she didn’t. She heard from the nurses from the station as she was signing some prescriptions for her new patients that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are currently in a holiday in South Africa and they think the prince will finally propose. Good for him. She thought.

“Honey, don’t you think it’s time to visit Doctor West in San Francisco?” Doctor Gerard Clarke asked her daughter in concern as they ate lunch inside his office. “It’s been a while since you had an attack.” He continued and Bella just smiled at him. “Why don’t you move back with us?”

 “We made a deal, dad.”

 Doctor Gerard sighed, “I know. I know we did. I’m just concerned.”

 They didn’t talk about the situation but instead diverted it into what new discoveries where discussed at the symposium in LA. “We actually bought one of the newly developed ECG machine from Japan.. It’s the newest and most high end as of the moment.”  He said taking a folder off of his table and handing it over to Bella. “We think it would be good for the hospital.”

 “It would be.” Bella nodded agreeing.

 However, Doctor Gerard couldn’t shake off the concern he has for his daughter. His only daughter. His only kid and still, he still might lose her at a moment’s notice. Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. He sighed. He is a well-known cardiologist and yet he couldn’t cure his own kid- albeit, there is actually no cure developed for it yet but there are preventions. Numerous preventions. Her disease was realized when she was 18. Bella was never the one to voice out how she feels when she feels something may it be pain physically or emotionally. They never knew. But on the 25th of December year 2011 during his parents’ visit, it suddenly became apparent.

 He remembered how everyone was festive. His parents sat with him on the couch while Bella and Georgia were busy preparing the table for them. He can still hear Georgia and Bella laughing from the kitchen when suddenly he heard plates crashing and Georgia screaming for help. He remembered how much his daughter wheezed for air as she clutched his collar while he carried her out the door. They all thought that it was just an asthma attack but when he did a deeper diagnosis, he found out that his daughter has a more insidious case.

 It took him months to recover. He couldn’t stop blaming himself because he should have known sooner. Maybe, if he had known, he could of had prevented it.

 “Dad, stop looking at me like that. I’m fine.” Bella said staring at her father who suddenly blinked back at her. “I’ll be fine. I’ll go willingly to San Francisco if I feel like I can’t handle it.”

 After lunch, Bella went to do three hours of consultation for out-patients before doing her regular rounds for her in-patients. No one outside her family knew of her condition and she preferred it that way. She doesn’t like sympathy or being treated cautiously more than the others. She hates special treatment. And so, she lives life normally- or as normally as she could. She doesn’t do anything physically strenuous and she doesn’t allow herself feel too much of any emotion.

 By 5 in the afternoon, she found herself sitting in her office reading a book about pre-eclampsia when Jenny, her medical assistant, knocked on the door. “What can I do for you, Jenny?” Bella asked not looking up from her book.

 “A letter came for you.”

 Bella placed her book down with a curious look on her face. “Who was it from?”

 “Well, it just says it’s from Buckingham Palace.” Jenny said handing the letter over to Bella who now had an arched eyebrow. She watched the doctor open the envelope and read the contents. “Are you in trouble?”

 Doctor Isabella Clarke,

 Good Day!

 You are invited by Prince Harry of Wales to accompany him for a medical mission on Lesotho, South Africa on November 23, 2019 up until November 30, 2019. The trip’s duration will be a week long. The palace will provide necessary accommodation and transportation.

 Kindly respond to us via email for further information or confirmation.

 Yours Sincerely,

Troy Hammond

Royal Assistance Personnel

Kensington Palace

 “Did she respond?” Harry asked as he talked to Troy on the phone. He is currently in Lesotho with Meghan- well, supposed to be with Meghan. She left him after a fight and she decided to go back to Canada to end her vacation from shooting early.

 “I apologize but she haven’t yet, sir.”

 Harry tried his best to suppress his growl. “Update me.” He said curtly before hanging up. Well, obviously she wouldn’t want to talk to you anymore. His brain said sarcastically. You just ignored her for two weeks, mate. As if by instinct, he suddenly started scrolling through his phone to find Bella’s number.

 Bella, on the other hand, was busy pacing around her bedroom while her phone rang- Prince Harry’s name flashing in it. She doesn’t know if she should go or not. Well, she wants to go but thinks she shouldn’t. “Why are you so affected, Isabella?” she asked herself as she stopped by her bed. “You guys are just friends.”

 And so, she grabbed her phone from  her bed and answered it with a simple, “Hello.”

 And as if a higher power is playing tricks on him, his voice is suddenly caught in his throat, his heart started pounding in his chest, and his hands started producing sweat. She sounded so calm and collected and here he is sweating bullets. “Hey.” He finally said and he licked his lips. “How are you doing?”

 “I’m fine.” Bella said sitting down on her bed and playing with her duvet. “You? How have you been?”

 “I’m good. I’m currently in Lesotho.” Harry said in one breath. “Hey, did you receive the invitation?”

 Bella bit her bottom lip, well, of course he only called because of that. “Yeah, just this afternoon.” She confirmed. “I was about to email Sir Troy.” No you weren’t! You didn’t want to go!

 “Oh, so you’re coming?” Harry smiled unaware of the lie Bella just said.

 He sounds so excited. Bella thought but still thinking of declining. She should decline. “Yeah. I’ll see you soon.” WHAT?! WOMAN!

 After the call, Bella remained sitting on her bed staring of into space. “Why?” she asked herself. “You could of just said sorry, I can’t!”

 Harry, in contrast, has a huge smile on his face. He couldn’t wait to see her and he hopes that she feels the same as well. You’re treating her like a rebound, you know. His mind suddenly chimed and his smile quickly turned into a frown. You can’t always depend on her when you and Meghan fuck up.

 A week later, Bella sat on the plane absolutely jittery. Her knees are shaking and she stopped it when this man named Troy sent her a glance. After two quick stops, they landed in Maseru and Bella can already see men with guns by a black car a few meters where their plane stopped.

 “Is that necessary?” Bella whispered to Troy as they walked towards the car and she realized why it is needed.

 Prince Harry stepped out of the car when Bella and Troy are near and he smiled at Bella. “Welcome to Lesotho.” He said and he didn’t let Bella speak or ask questions before he ushered her in the backseat. He sat beside her and Troy sat at the front. He kept on sending her glances, he wanted so much to stare at her freely but couldn’t. He wanted to hear her talk and laugh but suddenly, he didn’t know what to say. Once again, he lost his tongue in front of this woman. Stop being shy, come on. His mind urged as if he’s a little kid and he sent her a glance once again.

 Bella is too busy looking out the window watching the very different environment of Lesotho. She had been warned by her parents to never wander around alone and she had searched the high risk of crime the place has but she doesn’t feel worried; in a way, she knows that Harry will not let anything happen to her.

 “So, how have you been?” the prince finally strangled out of himself and Bella turned to bring her attention to him. “I’ve been busy lately.”

 With your girlfriend. Bella’s mind scoffed but she ignored it by smiling. “I’ve been great. I’ve been busy with work.” She answered and she’s being honest about that- well, mostly honest. She had been busy planning a trip to Thailand after a fortnight in Sentebale. With her HCM acting up lately, she figured she might as well live her life to the fullest and cross out one thing from her bucket list by doing cliff diving and she has a meeting with the UNAIDS founder in Thailand as well.

 When they arrived at Sentebale, they are welcomed by Prince Seeiso. “She’s a pretty doctor.” He told Harry complimenting Bella who blushed in return. “I hope you enjoy your stay here in Sentebale.”

 That night, Harry lay on his bed on his room staring at the ceiling. He sighed turning to his side and looking out his window. She must be already sleeping. He thought staring outside. “Go to sleep, Harry.” He told himself. But then, he felt different, like he was so uncomfortable and the thought that she was uncomfortable too crossed his mind. Harry sat up. Is she having troubles sleeping? He thought sitting up and staring at the wall dividing him from Bella.

 Bella sat on her bed staring at the floor. She couldn’t sleep due to the sudden change of environment making her slightly anxious. Mom and Dad should of just said nothing. She thought furrowing her eyebrows. She didn’t want to look like a wuss no matter how much she just wanted Harry to come.

 I mean, there are no press here to watch you. Harry’s mind urged as he paced inside his room. There’s nothing to worry about. It continued and he stopped looking at the wall again. Biting his lower lip, he debated on whether checking up on her or not for a whole minute before sighing and grabbing his pants and pulling it over his boxers. He then grabbed his huge thermos filled with hot water and packets of cocoa.

 “I’ll just visit Doctor Clarke.” He told his PPO who arched an eyebrow at him suggestively. “Not in that way.” He added and the PPO nodded letting Harry pass through him to go to the next room.

 Jumping at the sudden knock on her door, Bella grabbed her flashlight from her bedside table gripping it tightly on her hand before asking, “Who’s that?” and Harry’s voice came back although a bit muffled. The doctor lessened her grip on her flashlight with a sigh before walking over to her door and peeking her head out.

 Harry blinked when Bella opened her door and he had to stop himself from ogling at her body wearing a tight white tank top and really short black shorts. “Hey, I saw you light up a candle and thought you were having troubles sleeping.”

 Bella gave Harry a small smile before nodding her head. “Sort of. Kind of still getting used to the environment.”

 It was then that Harry raised his thermos up to show Bella. “Would you like to have some cocoa with me?” he asked and Bella gave him a huge smile.

 This time around, they didn’t get in Bella’s hut but instead, they walked over to the garden. They sat on one of the wooden benches in the very middle of it, grass and flowers surrounded them. “I didn’t bring any cups..” Harry trailed off remembering that Bella would probably not want to share thermos with him but instead, the doctor just shrugged as she adjusted her oversized hoodie that Harry lent her.

 They were silent while Harry poured the cocoa in the thermos and then lightly swirling it around. Harry couldn’t help but notice that there’s something different with Bella- no, her looks didn’t change but something about her did- like something is bothering her. However, that change didn’t make her look less appealing. She’s still the calm Bella for him. Beautiful and calm Bella.

 “So, are you excited for tomorrow?” Harry asked after he took a small sip from the thermos and handing it over to Bella. “Careful, it’s hot.” He suddenly cautioned referring to the thermos on the doctor’s hand.

 Bella swirled the thermos a bit, “A bit. I’m a bit anxious as well.”

 “Oh, why?” he asked watching her take a small sip from the thermos. “Is it because of the place?”

 Afraid that he might conclude her as discriminative, Bella slowly shook her head while taking a sip from the thermos. “I’m always anxious when I get new patients.” She said after swallowing the drink. “It’s normal, I guess. I always think of possible diagnosis especially if it’s a special case.”

 “A special case?”

 “A high risk pregnancy.” Bella clarified. “My mom and I like calling those as special cases because when a patient hears that they’re high risk, most lose hope making them choose having an abortion instead of making use of technology to save the child and them.” She continued explaining further. “I mean, I’m all for women’s rights. I believe we all have choices and I salute that but as much as I can, I want to have less abortions and less death in childbirth.”

 Harry nodded taking in the information. “So, you and your mummy are both OB/GYNE?” he asked and Bella nodded. “And your dad?”

 “A cardiologist.”

 No wonder she’s so smart. Harry’s mind commented. “So, you are a family of doctors.” He stated and Bella nodded.

 “I thought you did a background check on me, how come you don’t know?”

 Harry remained quiet, not answering the question. Truth be told, he didn’t care much when Troy started stating facts about Bella’s family. All he cared about is knowing the basics about her. “So, let’s get personal.” He then said making Bella look at him with arched eyebrows. “I mean, let’s get to know each other better.”

 “Ok.”

 “Do you have a boyfriend?”

 Bella couldn’t hold her laugh and Harry gave her a slight glare. “No.” she answered after she calmed down. “I haven’t had a boyfriend since.. birth.”

 “What?”

“I was always the youngest one in my classes when I was in middle school and highschool. So everyone either thought that I was too young or too smart.” She shrugged and Harry still had the look of astonishment across his face. “What?”

 He shook his head. He couldn’t believe it. She had been single since birth! “So you haven’t been kissed?” he asked and Bella shook her head. “You’re a virgin?”

 “Obviously.” Bella said with a laugh. “I haven’t had my first kiss. How can I be not a virgin?”

 Still, he couldn’t believe it. A woman as smart as her, as good looking as her, and as adventurous as her hadn’t had any boyfriend and is a virgin. A 26 year old virgin. He thought he would never see anyone who would go past 21 as a virgin. “I’m shocked.”

 “Because I go skinny dipping with a random?”

 “So you’ve done that before?” And although Harry wouldn’t admit it, he is hurt at the thought that she usually does adventurous things with other men. He wanted so much to be special to her.

 Bella gave a half smile before shaking her head, “No, I’ve only done that with you.” She said honestly.

 The prince is relieved and he couldn’t hide the smile on his face. “So you can now cross off skinny diving with a legit prince off of your bucket list.”

 And then she scoffed, “You were never in my bucket list. Actually, I was never interested in you.”