#mokuba was about to puke once

[dominoblues]

Seto Kaiba does not go to Starbucks. It's for peasants. Instead, he obviously has his own coffee machine, both at home and his office's kitchenette, which roasts, grinds and brews the special recipe that he meticulously selected with the best ingredients in the world:

-Crushed green cardamom seeds from Ceylon mixed with ground cinnamon sticks from Saigon and coarse ground arabica coffee beans (medium roast) from Ethiopia.

-Brew the mixture in a percolator.

-Extract, pour, add a couple of star anises and sprinkle with cocoa powder as a final touch.

[bibookdemon]

''

"Purples and blues, here, have another bruise!" A common rhyme Kaiba had heard every day in the orphanage, quickly followed by a swift fist to the face. He knew he was different. He was smart, and ambitious, and a heck of a lot better than any of the others here. That's why they targeted him. That, and his skinny build. His metabolism was too fast to let him put on any weight, especially at the young age he was.

But whatever. He could deal with it. At the end of the day, everyone was brought in for a warm, homemade meal - something he knew was a privilege in this cruel world of orphans - and a bed with never too many and never too few blankets. There was also his little brother, who got along well with the younger children. Kaiba was so proud of that tiny floof of hair. He was going to make many friends in life. He would be kind. He would be good. He would find a family soon. The only reason he hadn't was because of his annoying insistence that Kaiba stay with him. It was endearing but...Mokuba needed a place where he could get proper love. Not the love of an older brother who probably wouldn't even be able to protect him if he tried.

The Next Day

The sun was bright, birds were chirping, and everyone was going on a field trip. Well, a hike. Walk? Whatever they might consider it to be, the children were being guided on a mysterious journey - the orphanage owners' words, not his - through the surrounding forest. Kaiba couldn't say he was excited, but Moki was, and that was enough for him to gather a small smile and some sort of shred of interest.

"You ready big brother?" Moki called him over, bouncing excitedly from foot to foot. "I hope we find unicorns!"

Kaiba chuckled. "I hope so too, Moki." He ruffled the floofy hair - soft and adorable as always.

"Oh! They're going! Come on, come on!" Despite the fact that the group was moving slowly, his little brother still tugged insistently until they were well in the middle of the group. Sudden gazes landed on his shoulders, so Kaiba ushered his brother onward toward the front. No need for him to become clued in to the hatred of the others. "I'll get some dragon scales just for you!"

"Ok, you do that." He grinned, but it dropped as soon as Moki was out of eyesight. The adults were all up the front, leading, so he was stuck with no potential protection. Not that he wanted it anyway. He would never let it be said that Seto Kaiba was a snitch.

"Well, lookie here." One of the largest kids bumped his shoulder roughly. "If it isn't sir royal buttface himself. Have anything new to tell me about the world? Have you discovered that dragons exist yet?" He burst out laughing.

"Yes, in fact." Kaiba's voice was enough to stop that ridiculous noise, leaving the boy with a stupid look on his face. "I've discovered that your breath smells like something a dragon would puke up after seeing your face."

"What did you just say to me?" He stepped in front of Kaiba, stopping him. A few of his cronies crowded in a circle around the two of them, snickering.

"You heard me, pukeface."

"You little...!" His words were accentuated with a punch, then another, and another. Soon, Kaiba was cowering on the ground, a pathetic dog humiliated by a master without love or mercy. "Hah, loser. I bet you die out here like that, huh?" They all laughed once again, then started sprinting to catch up with the group.

For a long while, Kaiba laid there, silent and panting. He probably had a broken rib at best, multiple broken ribs and a concussion at worst. The way his head spun when he opened his eyes led him to believe the latter. Then, suddenly, a soothing touch.

"Are you ok?" Kaiba whipped his head around - a painful choice - to see warm brown eyes and freckled cheeks staring at him in concern. A young boy, about his age. And...a gap where his two front teeth should've been. "Hey. Can you please answer? Father wants me back before the sun falls, and it's already starting to set."

"Yes." He closed his eyes. "I'm fine." The words made pain reverberate through his body.

"No, you're not. I can tell a lie when I hear one. Alright, up you go." And then he was hoisted up into chunky arms, his gangly limbs splayed in awkward ways.

"Hey! Put me down!" He was furious, but also...was this boy kinda cute? No, no. It was the concussion. Right? The concussion? But he looked like...an angel.

"No can do. You're coming with me."

Many Years Later

"And dat, kids, is how I met ya father!" Jou grinned and patted Kaiba's back roughly, causing the man to choke on his food.

"Can you not tell this story while we're eating?" He grumbled. It was the millionth recount, the least Jou could do was tell it to the kids for a bedtime story. It wasn't even a great story! Well...it was practically a fairy tale. So he supposed it was.

"I can tell it whenever I want!" He ruffled Kaiba's hair, looking back to their children. Two of them, two beautiful children they'd had together. A boy and a girl. Jou's crazy hair and freckles, Kaiba's gangly limbs and sharp nose. Adorable.

"Then I suppose you won't mind me telling them the story of how you confessed?"

Jou's face went pale. "Dat's embarrassin'! They don't wanna hear dat!"

"We do, we do!" Little Annabelle giggled and looked to Kaiba expectantly.

"Well, your father was still very young, and very daft..."

[olddirtybadfic]

You Got Played: Seto's Love Life Tears the Kaiba Brothers Apart (Part Two of Five)

A wise man once said, "You know what this story needs? A love triangle!"

Part one is here.

This fic contains: Teen!me laboring under the delusion that Bandit Keith is the same age as Yugi and company; song lyrics inserted into the prose; mpreg fakeout scene (bonus "even pregnancy of the male variety does not work that way" content); vomit mention; Bandit Keith being a prick; everybody is kind of an idiot; Kaiba and Yugi dueling in bed without cards to “Cotton Eye Joe”; author’s notes to give track listings; condom mention; cheating; terrible OC; Noah Kaiba somehow being alive and bizarrely invested in his brother’s romantic life; old people bingo hall fight; Blue Eyes White Dragon underwear as a plot point

-O-o-O-o-O-

When Kaiba got home, he had nothing else to do. Doing the nasty with Keith had taken a lot out of him, so his first stop was the refrigerator.

Mokuba entered the room as Kaiba was making a sandwich out of cheese whiz, mayonnaise, pickles and, oddly enough, chocolate.

“Seto, what’s with the weird food?” Mokuba asked.

“I was just really hungry,” Kaiba answered.

“You’re never really hungry.”

“Doing it with Keith must have taken a lot out of me.”

“WHAAT?!”

“Did I say that out loud?”

“You DID IT WITH KEITH?! HOLY HELL!”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Mokuba.”

“Yes, it is! Noah’s gonna be pissed off!”

“No, he’s not, because you’re not going to tell him.”

“But-”

“Please, Mokuba? I don’t want Noah getting mad at Keith and trying to beat him down.” Kaiba attempted to use “puppy eyes” on Mokuba.

It actually worked. “All right! I won’t tell him.”

“Thank you.”

After Kaiba finished his sandwich (and a whole bunch of other food), he went to bed.

The next morning, Kaiba ended up paying for overeating by having to run back and forth to the bathroom to either puke or defecate. This started at about five o’ clock in the morning. Later in the morning, Kaiba was perfectly fine.

He reflected on what happened the night before. He knew Mokuba would keep his secret for him. He also knew that he couldn’t tell Noah, at least not right that moment.

“I can’t tell Noah right now. It would worry him too much. Plus, he might try to beat up Keith, thinking that Keith raped me. I don’t want to start any drama.”

Later that day, Keith and Kaiba were actually going out in the daytime for once. They were sitting in a hidden spot in the park.

Keith was looking around, nervously, knowing that Kyra could come walking by at any minute.

Kaiba was leaning his head on Keith’s shoulder. Normally, Kaiba didn’t do this, but Keith made him so happy that he kissed Keith on the cheek. Keith put his arm around Kaiba’s waist. Keith noticed how slender and delicate Kaiba was compared to himself.

A few minutes later, Kaiba left, saying he had to go to the bathroom, but he’d be back.

While Kaiba was in the bathroom, Kyra had stopped to talk to Keith. Noah and Mokuba had gone to the park and were walking by them.

“The weather’s really good today,” Noah was saying, until Mokuba stopped dead in his tracks.

“What’s wrong?” Noah asked.

“Look,” Mokuba said.

Keith and Kyra were making out, and they were in a very interesting position, with Kyra wrapping her legs around Keith….

“Holy crap….” was all Noah could say. “Isn’t he on a date with Seto right now?”

“Yeah, but we can’t tell Seto,” Mokuba said.

“Why the hell not?! He has the right to know that his boyfriend’s a player,” Noah said.

“But Seto’s so happy! Why should we ruin it? What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him, right?” Mokuba retorted.

“Listen, Mokuba, I want Seto to be happy just as much as you do, but he deserves to know the truth about Keith,” Noah said. “I just hope he hasn’t gone and done something stupid, like having sex with Keith.”

Mokuba stared over at Noah out of the corner of his eye. “That ship has already sailed,” he thought.

By the time Kaiba was finished in the bathroom, Kyra had left. Keith was still waiting on the bench. Kaiba sat down next to Keith. They moved in closer to each other and began to kiss. It was at this moment that Keith realized how different Kaiba’s and Kyra’s kissing was. Kyra always kissed him for a really long time and she used her tongue. Her kisses were long, steamy, and passionate. Kaiba’s kisses, on the other hand, were usually short and he never used his tongue.

“Oh, Ky, your kisses are so hot,” Keith muttered.

Kaiba stopped kissing Keith and looked directly up at him. “Did you just call me ‘Kai?’”

“Oh, shit, I just said that out loud,” Keith thought. “Uh….yeah.”

“Keith, that’s cute, but I’m not sure if I like pet names,” Kaiba said.

“Okay, then, I won’t call you ‘Kai’ if you don’t like it.” Then Keith remembered something. “I just remembered, I have to do some stuff tonight, so I won’t be able to see you.”

“It’s okay,” Kaiba said. “I should probably stay in and catch up on my sleep, anyway.”

So Keith walked Kaiba home.

-O-o-O-

When Kaiba went into the mansion, he heard the sounds of Mokuba and Noah having an argument of sorts.

“We have to tell him, Mokuba! He needs to hear the truth!” Noah was saying.

“But it would make him really mad! We can’t tell Seto that!” Mokuba protested.

Kaiba walked into the room. “What can’t you tell me?!”

“Seto, today we saw Keith making out with a girl in the park and we saw her and Keith on a date in the mall yesterday,” Noah said.

Mokuba covered his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see his brother fly into a rage at the news. When he heard nothing, he looked up. Kaiba wasn’t raging. He was just standing there, looking shocked, somewhat angry, and a little hurt.

“Why would you say something like that about Keith?” Kaiba asked in a dangerously calm, quiet voice.

“Because it’s true,” Noah answered.

“No, you’d say something like that because you don’t like him. Why don’t you just grow up and let me go out with whoever I want and STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS?!” Kaiba’s voice got increasingly louder until he was shrieking.

“Seto! Keith is cheating on you! Hasn’t he ever slipped up and called you by the wrong name, or something?”

“No, he hasn’t! If he was lying to me, I’d be able to tell, Noah!”

“You can’t tell when someone’s lying all the time, Seto! He’s going out with another girl! He’s playing you like X-box!”

“YOU LIE!” Kaiba screamed, running to his room.

“Seto!” Mokuba ran after him, but not before he gave Noah a look that said, “I told you so.”

In his room, Kaiba was pacing around his bed, feeling extremely pissed off.

“How could he?! How could Noah even think of accusing Keith of cheating?!” Kaiba thought angrily.

Mokuba entered Kaiba’s room.

“Seto?” he started.

“Can you believe him, Mokuba? He has the nerve to tell me all that bull about Keith cheating on me. Does he think I’m a moron? Did he really expect me to believe that?”

“Well, I don’t know….”

“You don’t believe him, do you?” Kaiba asked, surprised at the possibility that Mokuba could believe Noah.

“Not really,” Mokuba answered. “Listen, Seto, maybe you should just calm down. I’m sure Noah didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he didn’t,” Kaiba said, lying down.

-O-o-O-

Lately, that week, Kaiba noticed that Keith had been ignoring him. For the past five or six days, Keith had not seen Kaiba. They hadn’t gone out together or seen each other on the streets. Keith had not even called Kaiba.

“Could Noah be right about him?” Kaiba thought. “No! That’s preposterous! Why would Keith want to cheat? I can’t believe I even thought for a second that Noah was right.”

Later that afternoon, Mokuba walked into Kaiba’s room to see what he was doing. Kaiba had taped a poorly-drawn crayon picture of Noah to the wall and was currently blowing spit balls at it. There was a huge target drawn over Noah’s crotch.

“Seto, what are you doing?” Mokuba asked.

“I’m getting out all my anger without actually harming Noah,” Kaiba answered. He put another piece of paper in his mouth, stuck it in the straw and blew it out. It landed right on the target.

“Have you two even talked to each other?” Mokuba asked. Kaiba didn’t answer because he was too busy doing a victory dance that involved him trying to do the Harlem Shake, but failing horribly.

“Now what are you doing?” Mokuba asked, trying not to laugh at Kaiba’s horrible dancing.

“I’m doing my victory dance. I hit the target.”

Kaiba stopped dancing, put on his boots, and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m bored. I’m going for a walk,” Kaiba said, going out the door.

-O-o-O-

Yugi was bored.

He was walking down the street, just looking for something to do. It was his grandad’s bingo night and his cousin, Yami, had gone with him because he likes games. Yugi had chosen to do something else.

“It’s times like these that make me wish I had a girlfriend,” Yugi thought jokingly.

Kaiba just happened to be walking down the same street at the same time. He was starting to calm down over his altercation with Noah. Now he was just bored and wanting something to do.

Kaiba and Yugi ran into each other—literally. Yugi was walking past and he didn’t see Kaiba because it was dark and Kaiba was wearing black. Kaiba was walking and staring straight ahead, so he didn’t see Yugi because he didn’t look down. Yugi accidentally put his foot out too far to the left; Kaiba tripped on it and ended up on the ground.

“OW!” Kaiba yelled.

“Oh, crap! Kaiba, I’m sorry, let me help you up,” Yugi said, going over to Kaiba.

“Yugi, it’s okay. I can get up on my own. I guess I shouldn’t have worn black at night, huh?” Kaiba said, getting to his feet.

“No, I should’ve been watching where I was going,” Yugi said.

They both walked together for a while.

“So…do you wanna come back to the game shop and duel with me?” Yugi asked.

“Sure,” Kaiba answered.

Kaiba and Yugi made their way to the game shop. They weren’t exactly in the shop, because they were in Yugi’s room. They had decided to duel the old-fashioned way, without an arena or duel disks (Kaiba hadn’t brought his anyway).

Kaiba ended up losing to Yugi. Fortunately, he didn’t go all psycho over it.

“I always lose to you,” Kaiba said, shuffling his deck. He looked a little annoyed.

“Losing isn’t that bad,” Yugi said, trying to cheer Kaiba up.

Yugi’s large lavender eyes met Kaiba’s blue ones. Their faces got closer and closer, until……

Yugi and Kaiba began to kiss.

After a few seconds, Kaiba pulled away, saying, “No…I can’t do this….Keith wouldn’t like it.”

Yugi stopped. “How is your relationship with Keith, anyway?”

Kaiba looked somewhat upset, so Yugi started to regret asking the question. “He’s been ignoring me for some reason…I don’t know why. I think he’s losing interest in me,” Kaiba muttered.

“That’s awful! I knew Keith was low-down, but that’s just not right,” Yugi said, angrily.

Kaiba was surprised. He didn’t think Yugi cared that much about their relationship.

“If Keith is thinking about breaking up with you, he’s a loser. He doesn’t deserve you,” Yugi said.

“Thanks,” Kaiba said. “You know, Yugi, Keith doesn’t have to know about us kissing. So, if you want to continue, it’s okay with me.”

Yugi’s face brightened and his eyes gleamed mischievously. “I’d like to continue…I’d really like to continue.”

One thing led to another, and pretty soon, their clothes were off, and……unlock the power of your imagination to guess what happened next.

‘If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I’d-a been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?’ (author's note: Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex)

When they were done….doing their thing, Yugi noticed that the protective device that he was using had burst. “Uh, Kaiba, our ‘protection’ broke.”

Kaiba sighed. “What else is new?”

“So, was this your first time?” Yugi asked.

Kaiba hesitated to answer. He didn’t know if he should tell Yugi about what he did with Keith.

From Kaiba’s silence, Yugi could tell what Kaiba was thinking. “It was Keith, wasn’t it? He was the one who took your virginity, wasn’t he?” Yugi asked.

“I swore I’d never tell you this, but yes. He was,” Kaiba answered.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about it. It just really makes me mad how he did that to you, and now he’s ignoring you,” Yugi said, stroking Kaiba’s hair. “He shouldn’t be ignoring you, he should be treating you with the respect you deserve.”

“I don’t feel like I deserve much respect now. I feel like a cheap whore,” Kaiba said, quietly.

“Well, you’re the farthest thing from a whore,” Yugi told him.

Suddenly, they heard footsteps on the stairs, then somebody saying, “I’m home!”

It was Yami.

“What’s Yami doing home so early?! I thought he was playing bingo with Grandpa and all those old people!” Yugi exclaimed.

The two boys scrambled to hide Kaiba’s clothes. Kaiba hid in Yugi’s bed and Yugi sat down in front of him, pulling his clothes on. Yugi was finally dressed, just as Yami walked into the room.

“I thought you were playing bingo with Grandpa,” Yugi said.

“I was, but these two old people got into a fight because they both had bingo and only one person could win. One of them threw his walker at the other, and the other one tried to run over him with his wheelchair. Then everyone started throwing their canes and cards at each other. It got sort of crazy, so Grandpa sent me home,” Yami explained. “Hey, whose deck is this?” He had spotted a dueling deck on the desk. He picked it up and looked at it.

“This looks an awful lot like-no, correction, it is Kaiba’s deck! Was Kaiba here?” Yami asked.

“Well, you could say that,” Yugi said, stalling.

“I have to sneeze,” Kaiba thought.

“What does that mean?” Yami asked.

“Ah-choo!” Kaiba sneezed.

Even though it wasn’t a big sneeze and it was muffled by the bedcovers, it was big enough to be heard by Yami. He rushed over to the bed.

“All right! Whoever’s under there, come out!” Yami said, afraid it might be a robber who snuck into Yugi’s room.

Kaiba hesitantly poked his head out from under the covers.

“Kaiba?!” Yami was shocked.

“Hello, Yami,” Kaiba said sheepishly.

Yami was about to pull the covers off Kaiba to help him out (Kaiba was practically buried in covers), but Kaiba said, “Don’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m kinda…..not wearing any clothes..”

“Oh, crap, I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay, Yami. Could you please hand me my clothes?”

Yami handed Kaiba the pile of his clothes. Kaiba put his shirt and socks on, but he realized that there was something missing.

“Have you seen my underwear?” Kaiba asked.

“What do they look like?” Yami asked.

“They’re white boxers with Blue Eyes White Dragons on them.”

Yami and Yugi started to search for the underwear, but they couldn’t find it. They heard the door close downstairs.

“It’s Grandpa,” Yami said.

They started to speed-search, but Yugi’s and Yami’s room was always a mess, so they had no luck.

Mr. Moto’s footsteps were getting closer and closer.

Kaiba pulled his pants on, sans underwear, and grabbed his deck.

“I have to go,” Kaiba said. “You’ll get in trouble if your grandfather finds me up here like this.”

“But what about your underwear?” Yugi asked. “You need it.”

“I’ll manage without it. I’ll help you look later,” Kaiba said, putting his deck in his pocket.

“That’s okay, we’ll give it to you when we find it,” Yami said.

With a slight wave, Kaiba climbed out the window and went home.

Yugi and Yami watched Kaiba’s retreating figure.

“Can you imagine the chafing? We’d better find that underwear,” Yami said.

Yugi was lost in thought, daydreaming about a boxer-less Kaiba.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Clearly, the sexiest song in the world is Rednex's "Cotton Eye Joe."

[elexica]

Wasted

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671706

Summary: Kaiba gets drunk at Mokuba's fraternity initiation party and does the cute orientation leader's calculus homework. He's bad at flirting, but he's good at math.

Rating: Teen for Drinking

Pairing: Kaiba/Joey; Puppyshipping/Violetshipping Word Count:1568

(exactly what the summary says; read under the cut!)

“You are the glass half empty, sippin my ocean dry , emotionally spin me so that our planets cannot align, but I guess I can stand you one more night. . . I like us better when we’re wasted.”

– “Wasted,” by Tiesto.

“An’ over here is the cafeteria!  It’s all you can eat while ya live in the dorms!”  Joey smiled brightly as he waved an arm towards the cafeteria dorm.  “But if yer not in the dorms, you gotta pay.” He shook his head in exaggerated sadness.  “Unless you can get some Frosh to swipe ya in!”

Seto nodded serenely.  They continued to walk around campus, heading back to the student union.  Joey was the best orientation leader on campus—known for making everyone feel welcome and comfortable.  This was why they were always giving him the most difficult transfer students, he was sure.  He was also the only transfer student who worked for the orientation office as part of his financial aid work-study plan.

“So uh… yer clearly a little older than the freshies here… are you a transfer student or something?”  Joey rubbed the back of his neck nervously.  “Not that I’m judging or anythin’! I’m a transfer student too! Saves a lotta money and you get the same degree anyway!”

Seto did not look at Joey, as if he was wholly preoccupied by observing the various bicyclists streaming past them.

“It was time for my brother to start as a freshman, and I determined that I might as well secure a diploma simultaneously.”

Joey laughed, not because Seto had said anything funny, but because he was trying to lighten the mood.  His partner didn’t offer anything else, and it was painfully awkward.  Joey looked down at the information the admissions office had given him.

“So ehhh, looks like you’re a computer science student.” Joey offered.

“That’s correct.” Seto said.

“Which means…  you any good at calculus?”

“I am excellent.”  Seto rolled his eyes.

“So uh, if you got the time… you think you could help me?  It’s a pre-req for a biology class I gotta take for my Child Development minor and…”

“A minor in Child Development? Are you studying to be a teacher?”  Seto’s voice was harsh with derision.

“Close—social worker!” Joey beamed a little extra.

Seto rolled his eyes, his ice finally freezing any further pleasantries.

. . .

Seto Kaiba hated Fireball whiskey.  He was a man of taste, and had no problem sipping quality whiskey with the best of them.  But four shots of fireball in at his brother’s initiation Frat Party left him entirely nauseated.

Cinnamon-tinted bile worked its way up his throat as he balanced against the sticky wall of the party.  Portraits of the last 50 Fraternity Presidents glared at him, and he had half a mind to projectile vomit on them.

The world was spinning, but if he put down the red solo cup of what Mokuba had affectionately called “Jungle Juice” he would be forced to interact with another living soul in the building, so he choked down the fireball with some of the alcoholic fruit punch.

That was a mistake.  If the world had been slightly off-balance before, the combined effect was really hitting, and the whole world was clearly spinning.  He didn’t dare dislodge himself from his spot on the wall.

“Kaiba?”  Joey approached.  Kaiba wanted to bite out some witty line about the profit margin on social work, but he didn’t totally trust himself to open his mouth.  “You ok?”

With a thick swallow, Kaiba looked over and bit out, “Fine.  How do you remember me from…”

“Yeah uh, I don’t give a lotta tours to CEO-billionaire transfer students, ya stuck out.”  Joey leaned in, clearly concerned.  “You don’t look so hot, you wanna sit down?  Have some water?”

Kaiba stepped away from the wall to get out of the situation, and maybe start walking back to his apartment.  Within two steps he stumbled.  His spatial reasoning was totally shot.

And so was all his good sense, melting into the strong arms that caught him.

“Yeah, let’s get ya some water, alright?  Man, you do not look like yer having a good time.”

“Still want me to tutor you in calculus?” Seto managed to say, leaning embarrassingly into his counterpart’s chest.

“Honestly, if you still understand it, in yer condition, then yeah, that’d be great.”

“Ha! It would be easy.”

“Look, I’m gay, okay, I can’t do math!” Joey laughed at his own joke.

“Pathetic! I am also gay, and I am the best at math.” Seto slurred, but sounded devastatingly serious.  Joey leaned the belligerent drunk into a chair in the dining room of the frat house.  “You don’t believe me?”

Joey raised his hands defensively, “I believe you!”

“No, you don’t.  I’ll prove it.  Bring me your homework.”

Joey wandered away.  At some point, he must have told his fraternity bros that Kaiba was going to do his calculus homework drunk, because Mokuba and a group came over.

Mokuba was wearing a Delta Mu shirt from their charity event last week—some sort of poker night—and his hair was even wilder than normal.  “Seto! This is so like you.  Did you really have to steal the spotlight at my initiation party?”

Seto looked up from a solo cup of water that Joey must have left behind.  “I am not here for any spotlight.  I’m going to prove a point.”

And with that, Joey reappeared with his old laptop wide open.  “The worksheet is open.  The software calculates your grade immediately after you press enter.”

“I know how the interface works, dumbass.”  Kaiba rolled his eyes and stretched his fingers in front of him.

“Ahh yer a mean drunk.  You might need a graphing calculator, by the way.”

“Then bring me a graphing calculator.”  Joey flipped him off, but left the room to get one.

The pledge-master, Tristan, stepped in.  “I dunno if this guy’s actually drunk, or just faking.”

“What incentive do I have to—”

“Moki-Moki, he’s your bro.  What do you think?  What would he never do if he was sober?” Tristan said.

“Talk about his feelings,” Mokuba said instantly, rolling his eyes and taking another sip to hide his smirk.

“Ok.  Well?”

Kaiba opened and shut his mouth a few times, before he announced, “I’m about to puke on this fool’s laptop.”

“Sounds like Seto.” Mokuba’s smirk blossomed into a smile at getting to make fun of his brother for once.

“FINE!”  The cold fire behind Seto’s eyes lit up.  “I am thissss close to making out with the hot blond dumb ass, but instead I’m going to do his homework.  Happy?”

“Moki?”

Mokuba’s smile vanished, and he wasn’t in any state to hide his shock.  “Checks out.  I’m … well I was… the only person who knew that Seto liked boys.”

Seto leaned into the computer.  “Great.  Bring me that graphing calculator and tequila shots for everyone.  I’m going to raise that guy’s grade 15%, and this is supposed to be a party.”

Joey reappeared with the calculator, and was shocked to see Seto actually making some headway on the problem set.  There were about fifteen problems.  Tristan put a neon plastic shot glass on the edge of the laptop, and without looking away from the screen, Seto slammed the shot.  If it burned his throat, he didn’t show it.

The gathered crowd looked at each other, holding matching neon shots awkwardly.  Tristan had clearly expected that Seto would have followed proper shots conduct and waited for the announcement.

Mokuba had years of experience with covering Seto’s faux pas.  “You saw the man! SHOTS!”  Everyone else downed them in tandom.

After a few minutes the group was chatting about other things and several of the brothers had entirely lost interest in watching Kaiba do calculus.  A smaller group of hold outs was extremely entertained, and Seto was going shockingly fast.

Within fifteen minutes the homework was complete.

“Done!” Seto shouted, pushing the graphic calculator across the table and was handed another tiny neon green shot glass, which he quickly downed.

Joey inspected the website.  It looked right enough.  “I dunno if I should submit this…” Joey waffled.

“Fool! Then we won’t know if I was right.” Seto looked unbearably offended.  

“But the academic honor code?”  Joey was actually nervous about this.

Seto leaned all the way back, and threaded his hands through his long hair.  “Screw the academic honor code.  I have money.”

“C’mon, don’t you wanna know if he’s the genius he’s supposed to be? Plus, no one else is going to know!” Tristan prodded.

Joey pressed enter.

The whole room paused while the site processed his answers.

“PERFECT SCORE!” Joey shouted, throwing his hands up!

The group had grown again and cheered, and Mokuba called for another round of celebratory shots, which served to drive the group back into the kitchen.

Joey and Seto were left alone.  Seto rested his head against the table and looked up at Joey.

“So… uh… ya wanna make out with me?” Joey blushed a little.

“I am literally going to puke, right now. Step aside.”  Seto shifted to get up.  He looked determined to make it to his feet, but it was not promising.

Joey leaned over to help.  “I can’t believe that you can do calculus, but ya can barely stand.  Yer ridiculous.”

“Still want me to tutor you?”

“So much.”

The end.

[blu3yes]

🍫 quietly hand over a treat/food item [ runaway v.2 EAT DAMMIT ]

Soft Affection@onewiththeblueeyes​tw: Implied drug use, illness

       He’s paler than usual. Sickly.       Shaking like a leaf and sweating, confines himself to curling up underneath a blanket, laying on the couch, looks like a rabid and dying animal and the occasional whines he gives seem to match the description. He feels like he’s fucking dying. 

       Seto asked what was wrong with him, earlier, before leaving for work.       Like the liar he is, Seth said it was the flu. They both know better, though.

              It’s withdrawals. 

       He lays on his own, for a long while, curled up in the living room and trying not to wither and die. For once, Seto comes home from work before Mokuba comes home from school, and the younger twin immediately decides this isn’t a good thing and moves to get up–

              Only to have some crackers shoved in his face.

       There’s no arguing with Seto when he wants something. Well, there is– But Seth’s throat hurts, and he still feels like he’s going to faint or die or puke or fall apart, maybe all of those, and none of that matches the description of a man ready to fight his brother about whether or not he needs to eat some fucking saltines. 

       He takes them without word, and munches on them as he tries to gather the strength to get up and drag himself to hide in the dark of his room.