#mockingjay could not have been a better ending

[frogyourbog]

definitely did not just spend the last three days rapidly digesting all of the hunger games novels and end up sprawled out on my bed at almost 4 in the morning crying because goddamn

[nomattertheoceans]

Never mind me, I am once again dealing with my conflicting feelings surrounding Mrs Everdeen.

[mrs-kmikaelson]

Our Song and Dance³

Pairing: Finnick Odair x reader Summary: You'd grown used to dancing the same dance over and over again, the victor's dance, but then you start dancing with Finnick Odair and you feel things you never thought you'd feel. So you let yourself enjoy the dance, even though you knew that every song inevitably came to an end. Warnings: long, exploitation of minors, mentions of forced prostitution, suicidal thoughts, implied torture, violence, complicated relationships, complex mental health issues, and i involve finnick more in everything Words: 8.1K

Masterlist | Part 4

a/n: switching it up, so this part is from finnick's pov. it's basically mockingjay one, then i'll do one more part for mockingjay 2. ly guys!

Finnick Odair was not sure that love existed. Or, at least he wasn’t. He could barely remember what his parents looked like, let alone if they loved each other. But he had Mags; she proved to him that love existed because he loved her. It was the falling in love that he was unsure about.

And then he met Annie Cresta and it was like he suddenly understood. Yes, this was what the poets were talking about. This was love. 

But they couldn’t be together.

He was being sold off all the time, taking countless visits to the Capitol. He couldn’t endanger her like that, let her get involved in the fucked up world he lived in. So he didn’t. He loved her from afar, knowing they’d never really be together.

He thought it’d end there, but then one night, he saw you. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was all his own will, but he walked up to you. He’d seen you at these events before, back home, and on TV, but standing there so close to you, it was like it was just hitting him how beautiful you were.

You were a victor, too. But he realized just how alike you were when he watched as you left a hotel room, in the same state as him. After that, it was you who took a chance on him until he almost looked forward to coming to the Capitol, just to see you.

You weren’t Annie. You didn’t remind him of what poets had written. No, he couldn’t describe you or what you meant to him in just words. What he grew to feel for you over time wasn’t akin to anything he’d ever read. This was so much more than that.

He loved Annie, he always would, but being with you made him realize what it was like to be in love.

But he never told you this, never said any of it out loud out of fear that he’d lose you.

Now he lost you, anyway.

The doors to his hospital room opened. He knew it was Katniss, but he didn’t say anything, staring right at the ground in front of him.

If he looked hard enough, he could see your face.

“Finnick.”

He looked up from his feet, but still didn’t look at her. He already knew what she looked like, and it wasn’t much better than him.

She was mad at him. She’d barely spoken to him since they got to 13, but he knew that she couldn’t have been much more mad at him than he already was at himself.

His voice was quiet when he spoke. “I wanted to go back for them—for Peeta, and Johanna, and Y/N… but I- I couldn’t move.” He twiddled his fingers with the rope in his hands, wishing it was your hand he was holding, but he wasn’t. You weren’t there. He left you.

He finally looked up at Katniss. She looked both emotionless and so emotional at the same time, lifeless but alive. “I- I love her, y’know?” He looked back down at the knot he was tying, sniffling involuntarily.

He was trying to keep it together, but without you, that was like trying to fix a broken glass without any glue. 

You were the glue that held him together.

And now the Capitol had you.

The words left his lips without much thought. “I wish she was dead.” He chose to stare at a spot on the ground instead of looking at Katniss’ reaction. His chest tightened. “I wish they were all dead and we were, too.”

If they had died, then at least they wouldn’t have been going through this, having to live but feeling so dead, anyway.

Katniss was silent until he eventually heard her leave the room.

There were words she didn’t say that still floated around the room, agreement that she didn’t voice. She was just as broken as him, holding on for dear life. He hoped that she’d keep holding on.

He had to have hope. He had to have hope that he’d see you again, that this wasn’t all for nothing, that they could build a better world that you could both live in. He needed to hope.

That hope was the only thing that kept him holding on, too.

He was in the cafeteria, sitting next to Katniss and Annie when it happened. The fanfare started playing, Caesar Flickerman’s face coming to the screen. He scoffed, tuning out and looking back down at the food on his plate, swishing it around. Recently, it had been hard for him to work up an appetite.

He looked back up when Katniss grabbed his hand, hers trembling. He soon realized why.

It was Peeta, on the Capitol TV.

Katniss got up, walking to the TV and standing right in front of it, shocked. He would’ve gotten up and followed her, tried to console her, but it was as if he was paralyzed.

Peeta was on the TV.

And you were nowhere in sight.

He heard the conversation that had everyone on the edge of their seat through muffled ears. Peeta didn’t look exactly like himself, but he still looked like the golden boy Panem fell in love with. It was so obvious that the Capitol was using him, playing him like a puppet, but what confused him was that they were using him and not the much more powerful weapon they had in their arsenal.

You were the Princess of Panem. Plutarch and Coin knew that; that’s why they wanted you. Katniss could light a fire, but if they also had you, then together you could cause an explosion. If the Capitol wanted to sway public opinion, why wouldn’t they just use you, someone who the people trusted and adored?

Suddenly, his stomach fell.

If they weren’t using you, then it was because you weren’t in a condition to be shown to the public.

He felt a hand on his, turning his head to see it was Annie, looking at him with a sympathetic expression. As if she could hear his thoughts, the smallest of sad smiles grew on her lips.  “It’s gonna be okay, Finnick,” she whispered. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

How the tables had turned. Now it was her assuring him.

In that moment, he understood Annie like never before.

Because he wasn’t so sure she was right.

After Peeta’s interview, Finnick didn’t leave his room much. He’d lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling, pretending that you were there with him. He could withstand the silence if he had you by his side.

But now, the silence was deafening.

Sometimes, he didn’t hear a thing. Other times, your voice would fill the gaps, memories of you flashing before his eyes like a movie. Sometimes, they weren’t memories at all. Sometimes, he imagined a different life for you where you were both happy, in love.

And, sometimes, he imagined what they could’ve been doing to you in the Capitol.

Whenever these awake-nightmares got too vivid, he’d find Katniss and sit with her, knowing she must have been going through the same thing. It was what you would’ve done, what you did with him and Johanna.

You wouldn’t have wanted them to suffer alone.

The next time he was around everyone else, it was per Coin’s request. She announced to them all that Katniss agreed to be The Mockingjay and that, in return, she’d look for an opportunity to extract you, the victors that had been taken.

Katniss moved next to him. “Finnick, I made the deal for Y/N, too.”

It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Hope—this was hope.

“Good,” he said. For the first time since he left the arena, he smiled. “That’s good, Katniss.” A small chuckle left him.

Maybe he’d get a chance to make those dreams of his a reality.

With a newfound ardour, Finnick threw himself back into the ring instead of avoiding the fight like he had been, sitting in on meetings and doing whatever he could to make this work. He would see you again; he’d make sure of it. 

He went with the propo team to 8, watching as the Girl on Fire did exactly what they’d all been waiting for her to do. He wasn’t the only one that was hopeful—so were people in the districts, the people in 13.

They played her propo at the next assembly. The crowd cheered, but as he stood with The Mockingjay herself on the sidelines, she didn’t look so cheerful. Finnick understood this, he understood it well, but he couldn’t afford to think like that with your life hanging in the balance.

She shouldn’t have to either, he thought.

He leaned closer to her, quizzing, “You don’t like hearing a fight song at a funeral, huh?” She looked up at him almost in the same way she did when he made that joke in the arena. At the memory of your response, a small smile arose on his face. “The more people on our side, the closer we are to Peeta and Y/N,” he reminded her.

She nodded, muttering, “Yeah,” and then turning back to the crowd. She didn’t look so convinced, but he left it there, knowing she was coping with this in her own way.

If Katniss loved Peeta even half as much as he loved you, then he’d let her do whatever she felt comfortable with.

But at the end of the day, it was love that kept them both going.

The next time Peeta was on TV, it was a wake up call for everyone. He didn’t look so refined anymore, so clean. There were bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in days.

If this was what Peeta looked like and they still had him on TV, then what about you? 

A bile rose in his throat. He ran to the nearest trash can and threw up whatever they served that morning for breakfast, your face flashing underneath his eyelids. You weren’t smiling like in the dreams he had, but screaming.

He knew you weren’t dead, that the Capitol wouldn’t kill you, but when he pictured your face, you didn’t look so alive.

Oh, he wished he could’ve made you smile more. But in the world you lived in, sometimes it was too hard to even do that.

That’s why we’re doing this, he reminded himself. We’re trying to build a better world. But there were no words that Coin could say to shake the guilt he felt, guilt for leaving you, guilt for being the reason this happened to you. There was no band-aid he could put over this wound, no pills that could kill this pain.

But he had to push through it, and he couldn’t do that by sitting in his room by himself; every time he closed his eyes, he saw you. So he went to Katniss’ room, finding her in a position so similar to his own.

That was the man she loved on TV, even if she hadn’t come to terms with her feelings. She must have been just as guilty as him, if not more so. Finnick could remember a time when he rejected his feelings for you, too, scared of caring for somebody, scared of this happening.

He went through the Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell, being sold when he was only sixteen, but falling in love with you was the scariest thing he’d ever experienced.

If that’s how Katniss felt, then he didn’t want her to be alone, not when she reminded him so much of you.

So he sat next to her in silence, letting all of the words he wanted to say hang in the air, hoping that she heard them. They sat there wordlessly until Gale came in, telling them it was time to go, that they were going to 12.

It was only when he was about to leave that he finally spoke, deciding that these were words he had to make sure that she heard, words that he needed to hear, too.

“We’re gonna get them back, Katniss.” 

She looked at him, forming somewhat of a smile and nodding. After staring at her for a few seconds, he left the room, going to get ready.

She didn’t know it, but the entire hovercraft ride on the way to 12, he repeated those same exact words to himself over and over again.

We’re gonna get them back.

While nothing could really ease Finnick’s worries, seeing the people fight back certainly helped. The revolution was picking up traction. The videos they shot in 12 had moved people so much that they were willing to put themselves at risk, just out of hope for a better Panem.

If they could do that, then he could, too.

He wondered if you knew about any of this, if you were even aware of what was happening or if the Capitol was just keeping you in the dark. Did you know? Did you hear Katniss sing?

Did it remind you of him the same way it reminded him of you?

He had so many questions, and so little answers.

Rebels in district 5 bombed a hydroelectric dam, cutting power in the Capitol. Not long after, Peeta Mellark was back on TV, talking about it. He no longer even looked like himself. He didn’t look like a victor, but like someone who had lost.

But Finnick supposed that was what a victor was.

Beetee managed to get through the Capitol’s firewall, cutting Peeta off with Katniss’ propo. They watched as tears filled his eyes on screen.

That was the first time he looked like himself.

Are you, are you comin’ to the tree?

He faltered. “Katniss?”

Finnick watched as Katniss got closer to the screen, shaking her head. She saw it, too. She saw the man that went into that arena with them.

But then, like a victor would, his mask went back up so quickly. 

“The attack on the dam was a callous and inhuman act of destruction-”

Where a dead man called out for his love to flee.

Peeta inhaled shakily, his lips so slightly quivering. “Think about it,” he said. “How will this end? What will be left?” Finnick walked closer to the screen, like he was caught in a trance. Peeta’s previously calm façade had broken and was replaced with someone who looked stricken by panic. “No one can survive this. No one is safe now. Not here in the Capitol.” He shook his head. “Not in any of the districts.” 

He stopped, looking right into the camera as if he was staring into Katniss’ eyes. He may not have known it, but he was.

“They’re coming, Katniss. They’re gonna kill everyone.” They heard quick footsteps behind the camera as Peeta rushed to get his words out. “And in district 13 you’ll be dead by morning-”

Then the camera cut out.

Finnick didn’t know what to say, glancing over at Katniss to see her cupping her mouth in shock.

Haymitch was much more calm. With Katniss spinning out, he had to be. “He’s warning us. That was a warning.” Behind him, Boggs said something in agreement.

Katniss looked to have gotten over her shock, frantically turning and fretting, “We have to get him out before they kill him.” She was ignored.

What about you? he wondered. Where did this leave you? But right now, what they needed to worry about was where it left them.

Otherwise, you wouldn’t have anything to come home to.

“It’s time for an air raid drill.” Seconds after Coin spoke, an alarm went off. Everyone that’d been fixed to their spot in the room was up, like they’d been preparing for this for a lifetime, and from what he heard, they had been.

Katniss went running, searching for her sister while he went looking for Annie and Mags, grabbing them and descending down the stairwell as soon as he saw them. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, his mind blank, just as it was in the arena.

If he let his thoughts take control, then he’d lose it, and he couldn’t do that right now. He couldn’t slip up right now with what was at stake.

It was your life on the line.

He couldn’t lose you.

But a part of him knew that, the second you were in Snow’s hands, the you that he knew was lost forever.

Down in the bunker, Finnick sat on the bottom bunk with Mags off resting by herself while Annie had fallen asleep at the top. Sometimes, with her episodes, it was easy to forget that she was a victor, too, that she had danced the same dance you had. But she was, and she was dancing like never before.

He could tell that she had been trying hard to keep it together, but with all of the panic and the noise, it was hard. She fell asleep easily. 

Although the bunker was pretty quiet, his thoughts were still so loud. The last time he saw you played out in his head. He could still taste your lips on his, still feel your soft skin, still see your beautiful eyes.

I’ll see you at midnight?

Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.

But he didn’t. He never saw you again. He would’ve never let you go if he’d known then what’d happen. He would’ve held you longer, kissed you longer. He would’ve told you he loved you.

If he’d known this’d happen, he would’ve told you long before The Games. The truth was, he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he fell in love with you. It had always been Annie for him, and you were just there.

But that was exactly it. You were there. You were always there. 

Maybe he started falling for you after the first time you slept together. Maybe it was after your fifth time mentoring together. Maybe it was after the time he had a nightmare and you let him hold you. Maybe it was after you smiled, and really smiled, for the first time since you decided to start pretending to be a couple. He couldn’t be sure, but somewhere along the way, you became so much more to him than just Y/N Y/L/N, Princess of Panem and victor of the 67th Hunger Games.

You became the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

He just wished he could’ve told you that.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when someone walked up to him. “Hey.” He looked up, seeing Katniss. She looked beat, her voice quiet. “Can I sit?”

He nodded, moving over so she could sit next to him. She had her family down here, that’s why he hadn’t gone over to her, but he understood why she was coming to him. After going through what they went through, it was easier to be around people who went through the same thing, who were going through the same thing.

Like she was reading his mind, she asked, “Are you thinking about her?”

There wasn’t any need for further explanation. Truthfully, he answered, “Yeah,” looking down at the ground. Every moment he had that wasn’t dedicated to this revolution was spent thinking about you.

After a second, she spoke up again. “Snow’s using her to punish you. He’s taunting us with them.” She scoffed a little. “I didn’t understand that until just now watching that stupid cat.”

She was right. This wasn’t just about propaganda. This was about Snow’s little puppets misbehaving.

So now he was showing them that, even in 13, he still owned them. He still owned Finnick. He still owned Katniss. He still owned Johanna. He still owned Peeta. And he still owned you.

He was using you against him because he knew how much you meant to him, the same way he knew how much Peeta meant to Katniss, even if she didn’t see that herself.

Finnick sighed, debating on whether or not he should say what he was thinking or keep it to himself before deciding that he had held enough in, that holding his thoughts in had never done him any good. So he turned to Katniss and started, “I- Y/N and I, we hadn’t met until after she won her Games. We weren’t really friends, at first, but rumours start fast in the Capitol, especially when ‘royalty’ is involved.” He humourlessly chuckled. “People were saying that we were dating, and so she- she thought the best thing for us to do was to let them believe it, let them have their love story. The alternative, two people coping together- that was a lot darker than what the Capitol could handle.”

She tilted her head, furrowing her brows. He watched as she put it all together. “Wait, are you saying that…”

He nodded. “Yes. It was fake. Our love story was just that: a story.” Surprise was painted all over her face.

“But… you told me that you love her.”

A ghost of a smile came to his face. “I do. I love her. It wasn’t like that at first, but over time, I fell for her, Katniss.” He saw a look pass over her face: understanding. What he was describing wasn’t just you and him; it was her and Peeta. “Y/N and I, we learned how to play the game. If anyone could spot a fake relationship, it was us. After your first Games, we thought your whole romance was an act. We expected you to continue that strategy. But it wasn’t until Peeta’s heart stopped and he nearly died that… I knew I’d misjudged you. You love him.”

Katniss looked away, like what he was saying was something she’d never even considered. It was so clear to everyone that she loved him, everyone but herself.

“I’m not saying in what way,” he added, understanding her feelings so well because he’d right where she was. “Maybe you don’t even know yourself. But anyone paying attention can see it.” He maintained his stare, even as she looked away.

With the life they lived, you didn’t want to give yourself to love, to admit that to yourself, to allow yourself to be vulnerable. But you could only hide a love so strong for so long.

She swallowed, gaze still aimed at the floor. “How do you live with it?”

You’re asking the wrong person, he thought, but that wasn’t an acceptable answer. That wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Right now, Katniss was lost; he needed to point her in the right direction.

Even if he still had trouble doing that for himself.

He paused for a moment, searching for the right words to say. “I drag myself outta nightmares and there’s no relief in waking up,” he confessed. “But I- sometimes, when I’m awake, I let myself dream about her.” Finally, she looked over to him. “I dream that, one day, when this is all over, we’re living in a better world, happy.” The corners of his lips quirked up at the thought. “It’s hope, Katniss. That’s how I live with it.”

Katniss eyes were dull, red, tired, but even in the darkness of the bunker, he was able to see a tiny spark light up in her eyes.

Hope.

They’d fallen asleep in the bunker along with everyone else until Finnick woke up to Boggs shaking him, telling him that they had to go. Coin wanted Katniss to get in front of the camera, tell Panem that they were still standing after the attack.

But, as soon as they stepped outside, he watched her fall apart.

Roses.

A rose?

They’re a Capitol favourite.

You hated roses. Looking at them himself, he couldn’t even blame Katniss. He felt sick, too.

She couldn’t do it. She was almost hysterical, so of course Boggs let her go. They couldn’t put her on TV when she was like this. But they also didn’t have time to wait.

With Katniss gone, Haymitch and Boggs pulled him aside to a briefing room, getting started on a new plan.

“Okay, what are we doing?”

They gave each other a look, much like the look Plutarch and Haymitch traded right after the Quell, like they knew something he didn’t, like they were getting ready for him to explode.

“Finnick, the dam that went down in district 5 cut power in most of the Capitol,” Haymitch started. “Their defences are down—Beetee’s gonna be able to get in now.”

His brows furrowed. He already knew that. 

Sensing his confusion, Boggs cut in, “We’ve gotten word that the victors are in the Tribute Centre.”

Suddenly, it was like his heart stopped.

You were coming home.

He echoed his thoughts. “You’re going to get them?”

“Yes, I’ll be leading the mission-”

“Well, I’m coming.” Again, they both shared a look, like they were expecting him to say that, and why wouldn’t they? You were his girlfriend; of course, he wanted to be there to save you. 

“Finnick-”

He cut Boggs off a second time, repeating himself, “I am coming with you.”

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”

He scoffed. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Finnick-”

“If you’re going to get Y/N, then I’m coming with you-”

“You are too valuable to this revolution for them to let you go,” Haymitch said, but Finnick really couldn’t give a damn about whatever reason they threw at him. You were all he could think about.

“I’m not just gonna sit here and do nothing while they’re being rescued,” he retaliated. For over a month, sitting around and doing nothing was practically all he’d been doing, fantasizing about you, unknowing of when he’d see you again or if he’d ever see you again, trying to imagine what you could’ve been going through.

He couldn’t just stand by while you were in a live or die situation.

If you died- no, he cut his thoughts off, refusing to finish the sentence.

You couldn’t die.

Haymitch sighed, glancing away before looking back at him. His eyes were always hard, but at that moment, Finnick saw flashes of sympathy. “You won’t be doing nothing.”

His eyes slightly narrowed. “What do you mean?”

The two shared another look before he told him, “Katniss can’t record right now. But you can.”

Another scoff left his lips, an incredulous look on his face as his voice was laced with sarcasm. “You want me to film a propo while you save Y/N?”

Haymitch didn’t respond right away, just staring at him like he was trying to properly articulate his words. The way he was looking at him unnerved him, like whatever he was gonna say could shatter him into a million pieces.

“Not a propo, Finnick,” he finally said, hesitation evident in his tone. “It’s a lot more than that.”

And, as Haymitch explained to him what they wanted him to do, Finnick learned just how much more that was.

Finnick Odair. That was a name synonymous with royalty, luxury, desire. Before he even met you, that was the name he’d built for himself—or, rather, the name that was thrusted into his arms.

A sex symbol.

When you won your Games, he could remember listening to the Capitol chatter. Stunning, refined, intelligent: a princess. You both already had so much in common, both from the same district, both so young when you won, but suddenly, as he watched you leave that hotel room that night in the Capitol, he realized that you had much more in common than he thought.

You were one and the same.

Those nights you spent together in the Capitol, out in the cold, you were silent. And then, even as you spoke to big Capitol fishes and gave speeches, you were still silent then, too, never speaking out about the injustices you’d been faced with.

Now, Finnick stood outside in the darkness, cold, but this time, you weren’t next to him. You weren’t next to him, and that was because Snow took you.

So he wasn’t going to stay silent anymore.

You deserved better than that.

He glanced around, almost as if he was trying to tell if his surroundings were real, if he was really doing this. 

He looked back when Cressida called his name, a careful look on her face. “Yeah,” he said, conveying he was okay without saying it, even if he really wasn’t. 

She didn’t look very convinced, but she still responded, “Okay.” She paused. “Take your time. Just remember to keep talking and don’t stop.”

He lightly nodded, looking up in front of him, seeing his breath in the air. For a moment, he was silent, but that moment didn’t last long. 

He had been silent for far too long already.

“This is Finnick Odair. Winner of the 65th Hunger Games,” he introduced himself, even though he knew that anyone watching must have recognized him right away. “And I’m coming to you from district 13, alive and well. We’ve survived an assault from the Capitol,” he recited. “But I’m not here to give you recent news.”

What he was going to tell them was much more than news about this rebellion. What he would reveal was about a war that’d started long before this rebellion ever did.

“I come with something much more valuable.”

I haven’t dealt in anything as common as money in years.

Well, then how do people pay for the pleasure of your company?

“The truth. The truth about being a victor, about being royalty.” Bitterness seeped through his tone. “Not the myths about a life of luxury. Not the lie about glory for your homeland.” He looked straight at the camera. “You can survive the arena. But the moment you leave, you’re a slave.”

We will never be free, Y/N.

He took in a breath before he spoke his next words, knowing that they held power stronger than a weapon. He may as well have been pointing the gun at his own head. But if he had to get burned to burn down the Capitol, then he would do it. He would do it a thousand times over.

And so would you.

“President Snow used to sell me. Or my body, at least. I wasn’t the only one.” Your face flashed in his mind. “If a victor is considered desirable, the President gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them. If you refuse, he kills someone you love.” Johanna.

It’s not fair. He killed her family. She said no, and he killed her family.

I know. It’s not fair, I know.

It was never fair. No riches or glory could ever be enough to compensate for that.

“To make themselves feel better, my patrons would make presents of money or jewelry. But I found a much more valuable form of payment.” The corners of his lips upturned slightly to form a small, humourless smile. “Secrets.”

The secrets he knew had the power to rip apart the Capitol’s so called “peace” at the seams. For him, for Katniss, for Johanna, for Peeta, for Annie, for you—this peace had fallen apart ages ago.

Katniss was forced to become the voice of thousands when she could barely do that for herself. Johanna turned to rage. Peeta turned to charm. Annie lost her mind. And you… what about you? 

It was about time that this peace was destroyed. It was about time that people understood exactly what victors really lost. And that Panem’s monsters weren’t hiding under the bed.

They were sitting on thrones.

“See, I know all the depravity, the deceit, and the cruelty of the Capitol’s pampered elite. But the biggest secrets are about our good President, Coriolanus Snow.” The biggest monster of them all. “Such a young man when he rose to power. Such a clever one to keep it. How, you may ask, did he do it?” He paused, looking right at the camera as if he was looking right into Snow’s eyes.

He hoped he was watching.

He hoped he was watching as they burned the Capitol to the ground.

“One word.” He lit the match. “Poison.” And then he dropped it.

“He stopped every mutiny before it even started. There are so many mysterious deaths to adversaries. Even to allies who were threats.” He could remember being at one of those dinners, watching a man fall onto his plate, his life over so quickly.

Once you were on the playing board, it didn’t matter how powerful you were. To Snow, you were all just pawns that he could knock off the board easily.

Not anymore.

“Snow would drink from the same cup to deflect suspicion. But… antidotes don’t always work, which is why he wears roses that reek of perfume. Help cover the scent of blood from sores in his mouth that will never heal.”

When Finnick learned this, he could remember the feeling he had, the satisfaction in knowing that a man who had spilled so much blood was bleeding himself. It was karmic.

How ironic was that?

“But he can’t hide the scent of who he really is,” he continued, remembering Cressida’s words. Don’t stop. “He kills without mercy. He rules with deception and fear. His weapon of choice is the only thing suited to such a man. Poison.” He scoffed. 

“The perfect weapon for a snake.”

Moments after Finnick’s last words, they were off the air. Cressida’s hand went to her ear, a dark look passing over her face. The Capitol air defence system’s coming back online, she said, and she didn’t get to say much else before he went running inside.

Much like every other day he’d spent in 13, your face came to his mind, but this time was different. This time, they went in to save you.

What if they couldn’t?

No, they had to bring you back- they had to.

He ran and ran until he got to ops, seeing Katniss crying in Haymitch’s arms. As soon as she saw him, she latched onto him and he reciprocated her hug tightly. He had to hold on. He had to.

He wouldn’t survive the fall if he let go.

He knows, he knows they’re in the Tribute Centre, she cried, and then for the second time that day, his heart stopped. He knew. Snow knew about the rescue mission.

His ears rang, eyes going blurry. And then things got a little blurry after that, too. Eventually, he ended up back in his room by himself. He didn’t know how he got there, but he did. All he could hear was your voices in his head.

No, you are coming home-

Finni-

We are both coming come. We are both coming home, Y/N, I swear.

He was supposed to protect you. He promised. He promised you that you would both make it home. But now where were you? You weren’t with him.

You never came home.

At one point, Annie came in, trying to be of some consolation, but she ended up leaving, unable to get through to him. He couldn’t hear her over your conversations that replayed in his head on a loop.

I told you. I’m not letting you die.

A tear raced down his cheek. He knew that you were maybe still alive, that you still had a chance, but that didn’t matter. It was never supposed to get to this point. He was never supposed to let it get to this point, a point where you could be dead.

He was supposed to bring you home.

Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.

The doors suddenly slid open and Katniss walked in, breaking him out of his spell. He wiped the tears that’d fallen, clearing his throat. “Is there any news?”

Solemnly, she shook her head. “No.” He sighed as she sat down next to him, a big exhale leaving her lips, too. Both of them had passed the point of exhaustion, but it wasn’t like they could rest. Finnick wasn’t sure that he could sleep if he tried.

With this song playing so loudly, how could he?

Katniss was dancing the same dance as him, fighting the same battles. The man she loved was out there, too. She must have been just as scared as him.

They sat in silence for a while until she broke it, her voice raspy and just above a whisper. “Finnick?”

He turned to see her looking down at the ground. “Yeah?”

“I-” she stammered. It was only when she looked up at him that he saw the look in her eyes and knew why she was so nervous.

He shook his head. “It’s fine-”

She scoffed. “No, it’s not- it’s not fine-”

“Katniss-”

She cut him off. “I’m sorry.” Her words made him swallow. He knew she was going to speak them, but for some reason, hearing them was so different, surreal. She exhaled again, maintaining eye contact. “I am sorry.”

Finnick looked away. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate her apology, but he felt uncomfortable, looking into her eyes and just seeing the pure sorrow, pity. No, Katniss hadn’t been through exactly what he had, but at that moment, looking into her eyes was like looking into a mirror.

He couldn’t handle that right now, not when he stood at the top of the tallest mountain in the world and had such a long way to fall, everything to lose. 

He nodded, accepting her apology without words. It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know, she didn’t know him back then. She hadn’t been a victor long enough to know yet. If anything, he was glad that she didn’t get to know their world, that she wasn’t sucked up by the same darkness that took you and him.

He was glad that her and Peeta got time in the sun, even if it was only for a little while.

“Y/N…” At the sound of your name, he turned back to her, seeing her brows furrow, eyes glazed over. “When I met her, she said something to me.” Realization flashed across her face as she looked up. “Was- was she-”

He cut her off, “Yeah. Yeah, she was.” When he blinked, he saw you walking out of that hotel room, the look on your face. He’d never forget the way you looked at him that night.

May the odds be ever in your favour, darling.

“There were more,” he admitted. “Any victor that the Capitol found desirable was taken. Annie only couldn’t because of her madness. Johanna-” a humourless chuckle left his lips. “Johanna refused, and her entire family paid the price.” He look back to Katniss to see that her mouth had fallen open, a look of horror on her face. “You and Peeta were spared because you were together. Hell, that’s the reason Y/N and I got together, to escape all this. And now look where we are.”

With you on the verge of dying and Finnick on the verge of losing everything.

You. You were his everything.

And you didn’t even know it.

“I never told her, Katniss.” He was breathless, like the wind had been knocked out of him. He’d realized this before, knew that he made a mistake, but now it was like he was realizing that he may never get the chance to correct it. “I- I never told her I loved her.”

I’m your girlfriend now?

Oh, come on, Y/N. You can’t be serious right now.

I am so serious right now.

You had no idea. You had no idea that you were the reason he kept living, that you were the reason he kept going, even when it hurt so badly. He’d walk through Hell if he could get to Heaven and be with you.

But what if you never knew that?

What if you died without knowing how he felt about you?

Katniss grabbed onto his hand. He looked to see tears welling in her eyes. “You will,” she whispered. “Hope, Finnick. You need to have hope.”

“Hope,” he echoed. Just like how he saw your face, he was able to see a future just as easily. It was so clear. That better world that Coin went on about, the better world that they were fighting for… it was just within their grasp. He nodded, managing to form somewhat of a smile. “Hope.”

He needed that, now more than ever. If he ever wanted to make it to that better world, to live in it with you, then he had to have hope—hope for the both of you.

Katniss didn’t say much after that; neither did he. Both of them were reflecting on their own, still trying to process all the turmoil that the day had caused. He spent his time thinking of you, imagining that better world.

In a better world, you and Finnick would’ve never been sold. You would’ve met, and he would’ve gotten the chance to fall in love with you the right way. He wouldn’t have been so scared to tell you. You would’ve given back to the community, not taken kids to their deaths.

You would’ve been so happy together.

But that wasn’t the world you lived in.

In the world you lived in, you and Finnick were sold at ages far too young. First, you sold your souls by winning The Games, and then your bodies were sold to people who had no business touching you.

In the world you lived in, you were only brought together because of tragedy. You only dated to try and save yourselves from a much greater evil, not because you loved each other.

In the world you lived in, Finnick fell in love with you. But he couldn’t tell you that, not when his biggest fear became losing you.

But in the world you lived in, he lost you, anyway.

So he had to have hope that a better world was possible- he had to. Not having that was another blow he wasn’t sure he could take.

When imagining your better world turned into reminiscing over all that’d happened to you both, he cut his thoughts off. He couldn’t let himself stop and break down now, not when he was so close to the finish line, so close to you.

So he pulled rope from his pocket, tying the same knots over and over again, a habit he’d picked up at a young age. Focusing on the knots was able to take his mind off everything, allowing white noise to play instead of this song.

He didn’t want to hear it without you.

He did this until he lost track of time. It was only when the doors slid open again that he was broken out of his trance. Katniss perked up right away. It was Haymitch behind the door, looking as enthusiastic as Finnick had ever seen him. “They’re back.”

She gasped, getting up and running right away, but it was as if Finnick was cemented to his spot. They’re back. 

You were back.

Just like that, he was shaken out of his shock, standing and quickly catching up with them.

They ran until they were in the medical area. As soon as they got there, he saw Johanna, ripping an IV out of her arm. Her hair was gone, shaven off, bruises all over her pale, pale face.

“Johanna,” Katniss muttered, but Finnick’s attention was elsewhere, eyes darting around the room, searching for you, heart racing.

And then he saw you.

His eyes went wide. “Y/N!” Without waiting another second, he ran to you. After over a month, here you were, right in front of him.

But it wasn’t so simple.

You flinched as his hands went to touch you, making him retract them right away. Your eyes didn’t look in his direction once.

Like you were scared of him.

At the thought, his heart clenched. It was only then that he noticed you were shaking, even as you were covered in blankets.

Your body was littered with cuts and bruises. You were pale, too, so clearly malnourished and sleep deprived. But it was your eyes that really got him. Your beautiful eyes no longer looked so lively. They looked empty.

You looked like a ghost.

“Y/N?” His voice cracked simultaneously with his heart. Why weren’t you looking at him? “Y/N-”

He was cut off. “Mr. Odair.” He turned to see a doctor standing on the other side of your bed, a hesitant look on her face and a look in her eyes that made a shiver go up spine. “Could I speak to you for a moment?”

He glanced back to you, seeing that you still weren’t looking at him. Your gaze was fixed on a spot on your bed. You hadn’t looked up once, even as the doctor spoke. Confused, he nodded, letting the woman pull him to the side, out of earshot from you.

But even as the doctor started speaking, he couldn’t get your eyes out of his mind.

That look in your eye was somehow worse than any of his nightmares combined.

“Mr. Odair, Ms. Y/L/N’s condition is… it’s quite complex,” she cautioned. He furrowed his brows, his worry increasing.

“What do you mean- is she okay-”

“No, I meant- physically, I’m not seeing much to be worried about. Of course, she could be better- much better, but this is what we were expecting.” She paused, glancing at you. “Mentally- I’m not even sure where to begin.”

He glanced back at you, too, to see that you were still staring at that same spot on your bed. He let the doctor’s words register in his brain. You weren’t okay.

“We’ve informed psych, but for now, you’re just gonna need to give her time.” Time.

He let out a breath, feeling his eyes getting wet as what she was saying really soaked in. “You’re telling me to leave.” Just as he got you back.

“Mr. Odair-”

“You’re telling me to leave.”

“Finnick.” She cut him off with a strong call of his name. “Your girlfriend’s mental state right now is unstable. She’s in shock; she’s not herself right now. It is going to take some time to get her out of this state, and it’s going to be hard for you to see her in it. In the meantime, the best thing you can do for her is take some time to collect your thoughts.”

She was telling him to go off and think. Did she know that’s all he’d been doing for hours, thinking and throwing himself into the worst possible scenarios, only to realize that one of them had become a reality?

But he didn’t tell her this, instead looking back at you. You were lifeless. When he looked back at the doctor, there was a pleading expression on her face. He didn’t want to leave you, but she made it sound like the best possible thing to do for you. So he did.

But the truth was, he just couldn’t bear to watch you when you were like that.

You were the love of his life. It was like his heart started beating again when he saw you there, alive, but then it dulled once he really looked at you.

You didn’t look like the girl he fell in love with, the girl that went into that arena, or the girl he said goodbye to. It only took a month, and now you looked like a completely different person, like you had seen things no man had ever seen.

In his haze, Finnick made it back to his room, but he didn’t make it to the bed, collapsing onto the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest as his mind spun.

You were alive. He thought that, when he finally saw you again, all of his worries would be erased, that everything would be okay again, that the world would go back to being in colour instead of this black and white that he’d been stuck in with Katniss.

But nothing seemed more colourful.

Nothing seemed better.

You were here. You were back, Y/N Y/L/N, the same woman he loved, the same woman he’d dreamt about for weeks. You were alive. 

But, oh, he should’ve known it couldn’t have been that easy.

Your heart was beating, your eyes were open, and you were there… but that didn’t mean you were alive.

I told you. I’m not letting you die.

Little did Finnick know, you were already dead. 

Taglist: @avoxrising @mxacegrey @littleshadow17 @lovelyteenagebeard @nasyanastya @catastrxblues @zodiyack @zulpix-blog @mushroomelephant @muggies @lantsovheiress @hobiebrowns-wife @notplutos @faeriepigeons

[calisources]

𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐃   𝐎𝐅   𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐃𝐒   𝐀𝐍𝐃   𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒   𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.   all   sentences   have   been   taken   from   the   hunger   games:   the   ballad   of   songbirds   and   snakes   book   and   some   from   the   movie   trailers.   might   include   spoilers   for   the   movie   and   book.   change   pronouns   and   locations   and   names   as   you   see   fit.

“Nothing you can take from me was ever worth keeping.”

“Being from the Capitol doesn’t give you that right. Nothing does.”

“Well, as they said, it's not over until the mockingjay sings.”

“People aren’t so bad, really, It’s what the world does to them.”

“That is the thing with giving your heart. You never wait for someone to ask. You hold it out and hope they want it.”

“Snow lands on top.”

“I think there’s a natural goodness built into human beings. You know when you’ve stepped across the line into evil, and it’s your life’s challenge to try and stay on the right side of that line.”

“Before need, before love, came trust.”

“And try not to look down on people who had to choose between death and disgrace.”

“What are lies but attempts to conceal some sort of weakness?”

“The strain of being a full-fledged adult every day had grown tiresome.”

“You can blame it on the circumstances, the environment, but you made the choices you made, no one else.”

“Wars are won by heads not hearts.”

“There is a point to everything or nothing at all, depending on your worldview.”

“You're mine and I'm yours. It's written in the stars.”

“But better off sad than dead.”

“What young brains lack in experience they sometimes make up for in idealism. Nothing seems impossible to them.”

“I think it’s more important than love. I mean, I love all kinds of things I don’t trust.”

“I’m planning to build a whole new beautiful life here. One where, in my own small way, I can make the world a better place.”

“If the war’s impossible to end, then we have to control it indefinitely. Just as we do now.”

“What was there to aspire to once wealth, fame, and power had been eliminated? Was the goal of survival further survival and nothing more?”

“They were both after all, still children whose lives were dictated by powers above them.”

“Star-crossed lovers meeting their fate.”

“I’m bad news, all right.”

“The ability to control things. Yes, that was what he’d loved best of all.”

“What happened in the arena? That’s humanity undressed. The tributes. And you, too.”

How quickly civilization disappears. All your fine manners, education, family background, everything you pride yourself on, stripped away in the blink of an eye, revealing everything you actually are.”

“A boy with a club who beats another boy to death. That’s mankind in its natural state”

“Please, Coriolanus, I would never forget the favor.”

“Who are human beings? Because who we are determines the type of governing we need.”

“What sort of agreement is necessary if we’re to live in peace? What sort of social contract is required for survival?”

“It’s just the kind of story that catches fire.”

“And last but least, District Twelve girl . . . she belongs to Coriolanus Snow.”

“Man is born free; and everywhere he is in chains.”

“If history teaches you anything, it’s how to make the unwilling comply.”

“You know what I won’t miss? People. Except for a handful. They’re mostly awful, if you think about it.”

“And to erase me, they must erase the Games.”

“Why did these people think that all they needed to start a rebellion was anger?”

“And if even the most innocent among us turn into killers in the Hunger Games, what does that say? That our essential nature is violent.”

“It's the things we love most, that destroy us.”

“We all did things we’re not proud of.”

“What are the Hunger Games for?”

"If you want to protect people, then it's essential to accept what human beings are and what it takes to control them."

“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear."

“If the cause wasn’t honorable, how could it be an honor to participate in it?”

“He’s a Capitol boy and clearly I got the cake with the cream, ’cause nobody else’s mentor even bothered to show up to welcome them.”

“To dine with her suggests that you consider her your equal. But she isn’t.”

“The endless dance with hunger had defined his life.”

"In nature, things that are prey, that are weak, are marked"

"The world is not kind to those who don't fit in"

"We all wear masquerades in this Capitol"

, "There's a price for everything, Lucy. Sometimes you pay it willingly, sometimes it's taken from you,"

"Freedom is not given, it is taken"

“I’m not convinced that we are all as inherently violent as you say, but it takes very little to bring the beast to the surface, at least under the cover of darkness.”

[hrrystylesbookclub]

okay, i finally saw tbosas and here are my thoughts

1. i personally think it would have benefited from being split into two movies, one in the capitol, one in twelve

2. i feel like sejanus wasn’t fleshed out as well as he could have been. i absolutely adore him but in the movie he came across as more reckless as opposed to filled with righteous fury, and his death wasn’t as painful as i was expecting (let’s be honest i wanted to fall to my knees sobbing at his death and instead i was just ‘ahhh noooo ☹️’)

3. ma deserved to be better featured in the movie + she would have helped flesh sejanus out (also to show snow’s relationship with the plinths in general would have really hammered in HOW evil he is)

4. i wish we had been able to spend more time in 12, seen snows HATRED for mockingjays spelt out clearer and spent more time with the covey and see how close they all are and how much they genuinely did trust snow

5. changing the ending of the games with everyone dying from the snakes was a little disappointing but i did laugh when the students started chanting “get her out!” (also when dr gaul said she didn’t care if there wasn’t a victor vs snow demanding there has to be a victor, which 64 years later comes to bite him in the ass was MWUH chefs kiss)

6. critiques aside, every single actor was PHENOMENAL. not a single weak or subpar performance in sight, even characters without any/much dialogue were incredible and scene stealers (shoutout to irene böhm as lamina)

7. the sets and costumes were EVERYTHING, almost everything was exactly how i pictured and if it wasn’t plucked straight from my brain it was even better than i could have imagined

8. rachel zegler and tom blyth please marry me please

9. the part where marcus comes over and tells lucy gray that she can run and get out KILLED me, oh i could just feel my heart shatter in my chest

10. OH MY GOD lucky flickerman being an absolute scene stealer, what an ICON, i laughed at everything he said

okay that’s all i can think of at this moment. overall i did love it but i do find myself being all “the book was better 🤓” but very rarely do movies come close to being as good, and as far as adaptations go i loved it and could make peace with most of their changes

[onlybeeewrites]

Until The Mockingjay Sings

Requested: no but I love Sejanus and angst and this made me sad

Warnings; major character death, hurt no comfort

Pairing: Sejanus x gn!reader, platonic Lucy Gray x Readers (y’all are besties)

Italicized = flashback

Word count: 1.6 k

You remember the last few hours that you had spent with the sweet Sejanus Plinth so clearly. It was a few days ago, you both had finished dancing at the Hob to the beautiful songs of the Covey. The two of you had been dancing, laughing and singing. It was a beautiful. You swear everything was so perfect.

Then he had walked you home, pressing a kiss to your cheek before leaving for the night. The small kiss from the sweet boy left butterflies in your stomach. Enough to make you smile from cheek to cheek, the redness on your face never ending. It was enough to have your father questioning his intensions, but it was all teasing.

He knew how much you cared for the young peacekeeper. As the bakers of the District, they sometimes (often) came into the bakery for breads, sweets if they could.

That’s how you met Sejanus Plinth.

Poor, sweet, foolish Sejanus Plinth.

How could things have ended so poorly? So quickly? Your mind couldn’t comprehend.

You stood with Lucy Gray in the crowd of people, near the front as you watched you who recognized as Spruce and what you had heard to be his sister. be brought up, about to be strung up on the big old tree. The two of them looked defiant, while also being horrifically beaten. Dried blood and bruises covered their faces and exposed skin. Dirt littered and stained their clothes and hair, and yet they still held their heads high. Honorable. But what had they done?

As Coriolanus’ eyes scanned the crowd, he spotted the familiar head of dark curls that belonged to his beloved Lucy Gray. Though next to her was you, Sejanus’ beloved Y/N. His heart pounded seeing your pained and confused face. You truly had no idea what Sejanus had done….maybe it was better that way anyway. Had you known you would have been up there beside Sejanus. And that would have been such a waste. He agreed that you were good, too good and too kind. Often too much for your own good. But then again, you and Sejanus had that in common. And his mind went back to the moment everything had started to gone wrong.

“You can’t show that you know or saw anything anything, Sejanus. You need to pull yourself together. If we’re all caught…they might suspect Y/N too. And you want to keep them safe right?” Coriolanus’ had asked Sejanus. And Sejanus’ dark eyes had widened at the mention of your name.

No. No, no, no, no. You couldn’t be wrapped up in this. You didn’t know anything about the rebels, or the plan of escape, the weapons, his meetings with Billy Taupe and Spruce. Would you really get caught in the middle of it all if himself and the others were caught? You had no knowledge of anything. You wouldn’t. Your life in Twelve wasn’t all sunshine, but it was better than many.

You had expressed this to him too. That you did what you could for the District. Handing out free bread to those who were starving. Often you have the Covey expired pastries and sweets when you could. You were kind. Genuinely so kind and almost too kind for your own good.

It was ironic for Sejanus to think so, but it was true. You were a good person. One of the few he had met in a long time. And he had sworn to himself and you to keep you safe. He was just about to pull you aside and ask for you to come with him. Away from the districts, to travel up North away from it all. That was until Coryo shot Mayfair. And then Spruce shot Billy Taupe. And it was all going wrong.

Sejanus quickly shook his head, looking at his friend in tears, “no….no they have nothing to do with this Coryo, you know that…” he whimpered with a desperate shake of his head. He failed onto keep from the violence. But he would always make sure you were safe.

Coriolanus nodded, keeping his hands firm on his friend’s face. “I know they don’t, Sejanus. I know. But in order to keep them safe and out of this, you need to pull yourself together. You need to collect yourself and walk back out there like nothing happened. We’re the only lose ends left right?” He asked, and Sejanus nodded again, taking a shaky breath. “Hey…we’re brothers, remember? Brothers...and I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe,”

How that would change so quickly. Coriolanus remained at the front stage of the hanging tree, his gun firmly in his hand while hearing his friend beg for him. Him. Coriolanus Snow. Sejanus Plinth’s best friend. His murderer. And Sejanus didn’t even know. You didn’t even know.

“Please…please coryo…..Coryo…” his voice repeated as he was dragged to his spot, the noise fitting around his neck as the head peacekeeper replayed the recording of the Jabber Jay. You looked on horrified next to Lucy Gray, looking around in shock.

“No….whats Sejanus doing here? He hasn’t done anything. There’s been a mistake,” you say rather in disbelief and frazzled as you watched your boyfriend struggle against the pace keepers before being brought up on stage. You listened in horror as the recording

“No….no there’s been a mistake!” You shout, all eyes moving towards your figure. Lucy Gray’s eyes widened, shaking her head. “Y/N, stop it..” she warned quietly, anxiously.

But you didn’t hear her as the crowd parted to show you. Senjsnus’ eyes widened through the tears. He didn’t expect you to be here. With all his fear he felt, what really made his blood run cold was seeing you. The panic on your face, the disbelief. He never got to tell you everything. The plan to run away together. He wanted to make sure he had everything planned out to the second to make sure it was perfect.

Sejanus wanted to tell you about the life you both could have together. A family. Away from the districts. Away from the Capital. And away from the Games.

"Y/N..." Sejanus gasped, jerking in the restraints, only to earn a warning from the peacekeeper. You weren't supposed to be here. He was scared, but he did not want you to see what was about to happen.

"Sejanus! There's been a mistake! Please!' You called out, the stinging in the back of your eyes as some of the peacekeepers moved. Lucy Gray had seen this. Lil...the girl about to be hung now had done this exact same thing when her lover had been hung. Quickly, Lucy Gray moved forward and quickly pulled you back.

"Y/N, you need to stop or else you'll be up there next," She whispered harshly as you fought her for a moment. How could you remain quiet?

"No....no...no...Y/n! Ma!" Sejanus's voice rang out before there was a sickening crack of several necks as the floor below the three people gave out.

You stared in horror through your tears as the body of the love of your life twitched and swung back and forth by rope that killed hundreds already. You felt like the whole world stopped. Your blood ran cold, and it was like someone had sucked everything from you. The warmth, the love, the hope. Everything that Sejanus had given you, the light and hope for a new and better life, was taken from you within seconds. Who could do such a thing? Sejanus didn't have enemies. None that you could think of at least. But at the moment you couldn't think as you tried to come to terms with what just has happened.

"Oh my god...Sejanus..." You sobbed, feeling your legs give out from beneath you. Lucy Gray was quick to drop down beside you, wrapping her arms comfortingly. Though Sejanus' voice continued to ring out in the air.

The Mockingjays all flew around the crowd and trees, repeating his last words, "Y/N! Ma!"

His voice was scared, desperate for the ones he had loved most. A District boy turned Capital turned rebel. you stared as the ground in horror, tears streaming down your face as your body shook with sobs and shock. Lucy Gray was gently rubbing your back but you couldn't feel it. You couldn't feel anything. Just numb.

So Lucy Gray allowed you to remain like that, sobbing until there was no tears left. Your eyes and face red and puffy, a blank and lost look in your eye. By the time you even got to your feet, a majority of the crowd had left.

"No...don't look," Lucy Gray had gently ordered, keeping your gaze down from the sight of the tree. You were shaking, and nothing like the best friend she had known. She wrapped a supportive arm around you before leading you out of the area without another look behind you both.

Coriolanus felt his own stomach churn as he had heard he snap of his former classmate, his squad member swung behind him, and watched as you had fallen to your knees in pure anguish. As the look in your eyes turned from hopeful and light to a blank and pained look. All for Sejanus. Maybe he had more of an influence than Coriolanus originally had thought. The same boy who had gotten himself into more trouble than he was worth.

The very same boy he had met on the playground when they were eight, the same boy who had given him the gum drops, the one who Coriolanus had almost died for in the arena, the reason he had to kill.

But then he had to remind himself that it was not his fault. He had to report Sejanus, he was trouble, a rebel. Sejanus had been ruining everything with his guilt and urge to help others. But that was all over now. Sejanus was no more.

Poor Sejanus.

Poor sweet, foolish, dead Sejanus.

[thgfanfictionlibrary]

Never Hijacked!Peeta Fics Masterlist (2)

Part 1 / 

Created: April 25th, 2024

Checked:---

Always-LiterallyEverlarksChild (ao3) Summary: In the Quarter Quell arena, Katniss realizes she loves Peeta. When a non-hijacked Peeta is rescued from the Capitol, they get to be together and stuff.

And hands intertwine (bodies fit together)-snails_n_brokenbones (ao3) Summary: Hopefully he'll let her in, let her break down their walls brick by brick, together as limbs blend into one under the harsh hospital light. She wants him in a way she's never wanted before. She needs him in a way that feels so familiar and yet so foreign. She needs him. She loves him. Tragically and beautifully, she's in love with Peeta Mellark and she can't escape it.

Check Mark Kiss-VanillaCottonCandy (ao3)

Summary: A thick, red, angry line, splayed right in the middle of Peeta’s chest. It stands out vividly against his pale skin and blonde chest hair and I can’t look away from it now. “What’s this?” He looks at the wall behind my head for a long moment before nodding. “That’s from a whip.” He meets my gaze again before casting his eyes low. “I don’t remember what I did to earn it.” / Katniss learns more about what they did to Peeta in the Capitol and sets out to try and make him better. Non - Hijacked Peeta AU. Sequel to Haunted Heart.

found the place to rest my head-loveleee (ao3)

Summary: I can tell the moment he sees me through the glass wall; his eyes widen and he sits up straighter. He stands just as I burst through the door. And then I’m in his arms. And then I break down. [Mockingjay AU, Peeta is rescued from the Capitol unharmed. Follow up to "hold me, hold me (never let me go)".]

Haunted Heart-VanillaCottonCandy (ao3) Summary: “One of the doctors steps away to grab something off the cart beside the bed and Peeta’s blue eyes — the bluest, tenderest and most haunted gaze I’ve ever seen — take me in for the first time. For the first time since that last night in the Quell. And I can’t hold myself back any longer.” / Based on the prompt : “i’d love one of everlark’s reunion in mockingjay if peeta hadn’t been hijacked (OR of their reunion if katniss had been captured instead, but still not hijacked).”

Not Going Anywhere-sweetlovegone (ao3)

Summary: "Before I can really register the events of the past minute, I feel those strong steady arms that guarded me from the nightmares wrap around me and hold me as tight as possible." Oneshot. Mockingjay Reunion if Peeta hadn't been hijacked.

Say That Again-FreshlyCutGrass (ao3) Summary: “Hey, Kat,” Peeta croaked. His voice was thick and achy, like he had a sore throat. Haymitch’s hand darted down my back to keep me from toppling over, keeping me steady as I shook. “Say that again,” I whispered, blinking rapidly as I took in the sight of him. ------------- Peeta is not hijacked when he is rescued from the Capitol and brought to District 13. Katniss advocated for him faster. The reunion we all wanted, including Katniss.

The Both of Us-LemonLuvGirl (ao3)

Summary: An alternate ending to Catching Fire in which both Peeta and Katniss are rescued from the arena during the Quarter Quell. Our lips collide with gentle urgency, two half conscious minds struggling in the murky waters between sleeping and waking, layered with a need for comfort and something more. We kiss until he pulls back, panting, angling his hips away from mine. I know what he’s trying to avoid. He doesn’t want to scare me. But the thought of his body reacting to me isn’t nearly as scary as the idea that we almost never got to have this.

Together-THGEncyclopedia (ao3) Summary: My take on how things could have gone differently had both Katniss and Peeta been rescued from the Quell. The two will conquer the Capitol and unravel the secrecy of District 13 as a couple, and will together be the faces of the revolution. This can definitely be called a "fix-it" FanFiction, even though I love how the series ended originally. It will switch POVs between Katniss and Peeta, but not in any established pattern.

You Put Your Arms Around Me and I'm Home-mrsbonniemellark (ao3)

Summary: What would happen if Peeta hadn't been hijacked and Katniss and Peeta were allowed a private reunion?

[friendship-ditch]

Scripted

(Katniss Everdeen x Fem Reader) ❀

Summary: Lets be honest, Katniss isn’t the best actress, especially with a script and a green screen, so you help her through it.

Warnings/Notes: Slight language

Word Count: 1059

“You’ve just been in battle!”

Oh, Plutarch was pissed. Rightfully–Katniss was on her third slip up of the lines and it clearly wasn’t going to get better–but it also made your eyes narrow.

His outburst rang over the speakers, filling the air with an even heavier uncomfortableness than had been tensing everyone's nerves for the last ten minutes. A few moments later, he uttered an apology and wanted to run again when you spoke up.

“Give us a minute, will you?” You lifted a hand as you stepped onto the small stage, unable to watch this circus any longer. Katniss stared at you wide-eyed, face flushed beneath the makeup with embarrassment. “Come on.” You took her hand.

Katniss quietly followed you to a small storage room. It was dark and gloomy, just like she was. She sank down to the dust covered floor, arms tightly wrapping around her legs and her forehead resting on her knees.

“I can’t do this.” Her voice was soft and defeated, but much more real than it had been when she’d been reciting those cheesy lines that made you want to tear your ears off. If you were a citizen from another district and saw that on TV, you’d probably have to turn away out of second hand embarrassment.

Not that you could tell her that, though. That obviously wasn’t her fault, but it wouldn’t make anything better.

You bent down in front of her, just listening to her.

“I can’t be their Mockingjay. I can’t film these… these stupid propos. I can’t read these lines and pretend I just murdered people and focus on the glory.” Katniss kept rambling, her voice growing quieter and quieter as her face sunk further into her knees. “I shouldn't have agreed to this. And now we’ll never win the war, and the other Victors will never…”

“Kat,” you interrupted her by resting your hand on her knee, using your other to ruffle the shorter pieces of her hair that weren’t tethered to her braid. “You’re thinking way too hard about this.”

“I’m not thinking or trying hard enough.”

“No.” You sat down in front of her now, sliding your fingers to touch her forehead and gently pry her face from her knees.

The second your eyes met, she shied away and returned to hiding her face.

“Katniss. You’re not going to get anywhere by shit-talking yourself.”

Her only response was a pathetic whimper.

You sat beside her now, leaning into the uncomfortable storage shelves full of unlabeled bins. You reached an arm around her now shaking shoulders and pulled her against you. She was as stiff as a board but didn’t pull away. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“I just… I just can’t do it.” Katniss tried her best to stop the quivering of her voice but the attempt was futile. “I don’t know why. Everytime I get up there… I know the lines, but they just seem so fake and I can’t say it the right way.”

You nodded. “Is it too scripted?”

“I can’t read scripts.. I can’t act.”

Katniss finally gave into your gentle touch and she revealed her tear stained, makeup smudged face, then promptly buried it into your shirt.

You held her tightly. Your fingers tugged at the hair tie at the end of her braid and pulled it off, giving her some relief from Effie’s scalp-tugging hairdo. Katniss’s soft noise of relief, followed by the quietest sob filled the quiet room.

“Alright… You can’t read scripts, that’s okay. Maybe you can come up with your own dialogue and control it, like how you did in the games.” You suggested quietly.

Katniss shook her head. “It wouldn’t work.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.” She was getting angry, but not at you–at the world, at her useless acting abilities, at the thought she wouldn’t be able to save those she cared about, at the fact–

“Maybe you need to be in a real situation.” You suggested. “On the field, out in the world… witnessing something that makes you want to speak. You shouldn’t have to think about what you want to say, the words should just be there. That’s when they’re the most powerful.”

Katniss looked back up at you with teary yet wide eyes.

“You mean… send me to one of the districts? To the front lines?”

“No, not exactly. Somewhere safer, but still real.”

The idea seemed to settle her a little as she pulled her bitten fingernails from her mouth, spitting out a little peeled nail polish. “That… that does sound like it would help.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… But President Coin would never allow that, nor would Plutarch or–”

“Who cares. If they want their Mockingjay, then they have to agree to her conditions.” You smiled down at her, wiping the few tears from her red face, then also brushing a few streaks of mascara away too. “We can tell them together. They won’t be able to tell you no.”

Katniss weakly smiled too. “Okay…”

“And we’ll get some of that makeup off; you look thirty five.” You added, hoping to draw a soft chuckle out of her now pasty lips. Katniss couldn’t help but let out a soft snort of agreement and nodded.

Convincing everyone took a little bit of time but soon everyone (whether they were reluctant or not) was on board with the idea and the crew flew out to District 12.

The conditions weren’t exactly what was planned, and neither was the bombing of the hospital, but it was now or never.

The burning building reflected brightly in Katniss’s watery eyes and she turned to face the cameras. Her mouth was open but nothing was coming out and she looked to you for help.

“You can do this, Katniss.” You urged her from beside Cressida. “Just… tell them what happened, tell them what they need to hear, and everything will flow from there.”

Katniss’s gaze locked with yours as your words sunk into her mind. Then she slowly nodded and turned back to the cameras, a determined, almost confident look in her eyes.

This was the Mockingjay, and deep down beneath that now cold and raging fury, this was your Mockingjay, your Katniss.

And the second she was done, you were going to give her the tightest hug and shower her with words of pride and love.

[floppymixtape]

tlou x tgh au where katniss is ellie and haymitch is joel because i am loosing it ^_^ more thoughts under the separator

SO. ok. I think the story of tlou would have to change drastically for it to make sense with thg character but here are a few ideas about where things would go.

Katniss looses Prim when she is a lot younger. Gale finds this mall just outside of the quarantine zone and they all go together. Which leads to Prim and Katniss getting bit.

Gale ends up killing Prim and promises to do the same for Katniss and to take care of her mother. Time goes on and Katniss doesn't turn but she can't get over the image of Gale killing her sister, she can't stop blaming him.

So the fireflies (which i think could be called mockingjays in this au) find the two of them and take them. Gale becomes a firefly rebel and Katniss follows the Ellie storyline of having to be taken across country.

Tess is probably Effie. LISTEN I KNOW. i know they are NOTHING alike. but Tess is the person that Joel has been working with the longest after his daughter died, and they have this weird romantic tension and guilt to them that just fits Haymitch and Effie. So what i think is that Effie is closer to the higher ups of the fedra and gets Haymitch jobs to complete for money/things. She doesn't usually go with him, but when she knows it's missions that Haymitch cannot go through alone she does her best to help. Which is how she ends up completing the role of Tess. By urging Haymitch to take Katniss.

I debated also having Peeta be dragged around with Haymitch, but i think he is much better suited to live in jackson and meet Katniss and Haymitch there. (Who is tommy? i have no idea honestly. Maybe another victor?) Peeta is a jackson boy to me.

aaaaand that's all the thoughts for right now!

[cwritesforfun]

Finnick Odair x Fem!Reader: love as sweet as sugarcubes PART TWO

Finnick just wants you home. He misses you and he loves you. You are in the Capitol with Johanna, Peeta, and Enobaria.

Read PART ONE HERE for context!!!

BTW ~ this is set during Hunger Games Mockingjay ~

Y/N's POV

I have no idea how long I have been in the Capitol being poked and prodded by metal instruments of pure torture, but it feels like forever. They've also been injecting me with tracker jacker venom and I hate the hallucinations. So far, my new plan is working. And by plan, I mean act stupid. Johanna hides a snicker back every time I crack my mouth open. I'm glad she seems to sort of enjoy this. I'm just trying to stay alive and keep my brain intact.

As I lie there in the hospital bed, a few Peacekeepers walk into the room. One props up my chair and asks, "Name?" I answer, "Y/N L/N." One of the Peacekeepers asks, "Who is the President of the Capitol?" I answer "Your Mom." I hear Johanna crack up laughing. Glad I could make her day. It's rare to hear a genuine laugh from her or anything good. I mainly hear her screaming or trying to silently cry. One of the Peacekeepers asks, "Who is the President of the Capitol?" I answer, "You guys are no fun. It's Coriolanus Snow." They ask, "Good. Now wasn't that simpler to just say the right answer." I reply, "Yes it really was." God, I hate them. One of the Peacekeepers asks, "And how do you know Katniss?" I answer, "I met her at the games during the training. It was the first time I spoke to her." I'm not telling them much more than that. I answer the questions they know the answers to and not anymore. One of the Peacekeepers asks, "And are you positive about this statement?" I answer "Are you asking if I remember my life correctly? I know I'm right." One of the Peacekeepers asks "Uh huh. We don't believe you. Your heart rate went up significantly when you answered that question. Boys, give her another injection." I feel the venom run through my veins and I feel myself lean back. My eyes close a little and I find myself remembering more memories.

...

I then regain consciousness and I notice that the Peacekeepers are gone. Johanna says, "Y/N, you know you're playing with fire when you snap at them and play dumb." I reply, "You do the same thing. Neither of us is doing better than the other. It's fine. I'm fine. We're trapped anyways. No one will come." Peeta says, "I like to think that they will." Johanna replies, "That's because you are an optimistic person." Peeta asks, "How did Finnick tell you he loved you, Y/N? Was it cute?" Johanna scoffs and asks, "Are you asking her to put you to bed with a bedtime story?" Peeta answers, "Yes." I exclaim, "Alright I can share that." Johanna says, "Yay a love story for bedtime!" I laugh and tell the story.

I notice Peeta asleep by the end and I smile. Good at least he fell asleep and the story time worked. I hope he can get back to Katniss.

Johanna exclaims, "I wish I was more like Peeta and I was hopeful." I reply, "Me too. With everything going on, I have become more doubtful and anxious about our futures. The venom is hurting and the hallucinations are only getting worse. I just don't think anyone will rescue us or I will ever see Finnick again alive." She replies, "No don't say that. Finnick said in the games, you were the only thing keeping him sane. He told me about his dream life with you by the water with kids and pets. Don't give up on that. At least you have someone." I reply, "I'm sure there's someone out there for you too." She laughs and says, "That's the funniest thing you've said all day."

2 weeks later ...

I lay there partially unconscious from all the tracker jacker venom and I notice the power go out. I ask, "What is this about?" Johanna answers, "No idea. I'm too filled with tracker jacker venom to stay awake any longer, so I fall back asleep.

When I wake up, I'm in a different hospital room and someone is cuddling me. I blink a few times and realize it's Finnick. He looks pretty healthy, but he has bags under his eyes, so I guess he hasn't been sleeping well. I'm confused about how I got here and where I am. Everything about my brain is fuzzy. I also have a cast on. I'm very confused. I nudge Finnick slightly and he wakes up. He looks into my eyes, smiles, and says, "Y/N! You're awake! Baby Oh how I've missed you! I probably should be more careful and quiet. Sorry, that was rude of me." He pulls me into a gentle kiss and we kiss. I missed him so much.

I ask, "Where are we?" He answers, "District 13, but you don't have to worry about that. You're safe. I'm safe. We are together and we can spend our future together." I reply, "Johanna told me that you told her that you had a future for us all planned out with kids and pets." He smiles softly and says, "Yeah... I see a real future with you and you make me so happy. I want to marry you one day and grow old with you and our kids and pets. I would've loved to live on the water with you, so we could swim all the time. But, I guess the underground is good for now and we can pick up new hobbies. Also, when I really propose, pretend you never heard this conversation, okay?" I reply, "Ok, but only because I love you so much." He smiles, kisses me on the cheek, and says. "I really love you so much. I missed you a lot too." I reply, "I missed you too. You look like you couldn't sleep without me, but I'm here now and I hope you can rest easier. I should tell you that they injected me with tracker jacker venom causing me to hallucinate. Sometimes I will have nightmares and I want you to know in case I freak out at night." He replies, "I will be here right beside you the whole time." I yawn and say, "Ok, I'm gonna go back to sleep. You can get closer if you want. I won't break." He kisses me on the forehead and then says, "I just don't want to hurt you. The doctor said you are extremely malnourished with lots of tracker jacker venom inside and a broken arm and he said you might have a concussion." I reply, "Ok... um... then just stay close, love." He nods and wraps his arms around me gently. I feel safer than I've felt in awhile.

And they all lived happily ever after... no but seriously, I could write a part three if you want... or not... hehehehehe

[crybyemissamericanpie]

Gn!Actor!Reader talking about Josh Hutcherson through the years(2012-2023)

tell me if you guys wanna see more of these :)

Gn!Actor!Reader talking about Josh Hutcherson through the years(2012-2023)

TW:none

2012 - The Hunger Games Era

"So, y/n, you've been working with such talented people, who's the one who you really grew close to"The interviewer asks with a smile as he shifts in his seat a bit

Y/n chukles a bit at the question"It was probably with Josh Hutcherson we just kinda got each other instantly"They say with a small smile

"Any memorable moments behind the scenes with him?"He asks

"Oh,there was a time when they-the team-ere filming scenes when me and Josh weren't in so they let us go into the bakery,that is actually a bakery and make something" They say with a smile, the memories flooding back

"Well how tasty were the goods?"He asks with a small smile

"Let's just say, we're better actors than bakers" they say with a small laugh

2013 - Catching Fire

"Well people love you and Josh,so what do you think about further movies together?"The interviewer asks with smile as she fixes her own hair a bit

"There will definitely be more movies together, and I don't know why people cast us together all the time"Y/n explains, with a small smile while furrowing her brows

"It's the dynamic between the two of you"She says with a smile

"Maybe!"

2014 - Escobar: Paradise Lost

"Another film with Josh in one year,how was it? What happened off screens"She asks

"Well.. Not a lot actually"They say with a small chukle"uhm,he basically tutored me in Spanish all the time behind the screens,so there were no 'omg we did this!' Behind the scenes but it was fun"They say

2018 - Future Man

"You and Josh have both directed and acted in the show,correct?"the interviewer asks, fixing his glasses

"Correct" They say,giving a small nod

"Its a very humorous movie with many... interesting scenes, how did those came to mind?"He asks

Y/n chukles knowing what kind of scenes he meant"while we were writing the plot and the script one of us would go like 'wouldn't this be funny' and the other one would say ''thats hilarious' and then we wrote it in"They explain with a small smirk"it was interesting,let's just say that!"

2018 - The Disaster Artist

"How did you and Josh prepare for that role, since both of you had to play a very different character pairing it to other movies?"She asks, looking between y/n and Josh

"We did Method acting,actually"Josh says, as his gaze moves to y/,a smile creeping on his face

"Yeah, we attempted to make our worst movie, ever" They says with a smile"but it ended up pretty good"

2023 - Mockingjay Part 2

"Back to the 'Hunger Games' franchise with 'Mockingjay Part 2.' How does it feel knowing that you were apart of such a famous and beautiful trilogy with such amazing actors?"

"It's bittersweet, but I can't complain.I made many friends in the way,Jen,Josh,Sam and I could go all day" They say, with a smile

"Could you even say that it's the best cast you ever had"He asks with a small smile as he raises his eyebrow

"I could and I would say that,everyday when I go to bed I wish that when I wake up I will be back in 2012 in the filming set, but you know all good things must come to an end eventually"

[thewriterlyowl]

Random but at the end of Mockingjay when Katniss says she needs "the bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction", and that "only Peeta can give [her] that", she's specifically talking about Peeta as opposed to Other Guy.

Because, fun fact: rue, (evening) primrose, and dandelions are all yellow flowers. All three of the characters associated with them are explicitly linked with hope throughout the series.

Peeta is the obvious one. He's the one who gives her the bread at the beginning that not only physically feeds her in the moment, which in turn inspires her to remember that she is capable of survival, but its probably the first act of kindness remembers since her father has died. The book specifically shows how everyone has abandoned them and there's nowhere to turn. Nobody gives her hope until Peeta does, both as at the beginning of and the end of the story. In addition to making a good salad, dandelions are considered pioneer plants because after a land has been destroyed in some way they're the first ones to colonise it. Just like when Peeta comes back to 12 to help rebuild it.

Then, there's Prim. Prim frequently reminds Katniss that there's beauty in the world. She's the reason Katniss fights throughout the first Games, and you can see that she makes Katniss softer. In CF, she specifically mentions that Prim is one of the reasons she's supposed to keep fighting, because she wants a better world for her. And then in MJ, she feels that hope reignited when Prim says they're training her to be a doctor when she says "this is the sort of future a rebellion could bring". She wants Prim to be reborn into a different world where these things can happen, and she wants to fight to make that world a reality. Yes, evening primrose wilts quite quickly after it blooms (iirc), but it also blooms several times a year, so Katniss will always be reminded of her sister.

My personal favourite, however, is Rue. In the arena, Rue reminds Katniss of Prim, which brings out her protective nature, but also of herself, which is one of the reasons they relate to each other. Both are older sisters who are protective of their siblings. Katniss says it's a bad idea to ally with Rue but she does it anyway for these reasons. But I think the reason Rue represents hope for Katniss is because of how she protects her in the arena. She warns her about the tracker-jackers and draws the poison out of her body. When Peeta describes the Games, he says that the world around you and the people in it become your final reality. Katniss - and anyone else, for that matter - would not have expected a singular act of kindness from the moment they entered the Games. They know the time for kindness is over. I know Snow must have been screaming, crying and throwing up during the 74th because between Katniss volunteering, Peeta protecting her, then Rue protecting her, then Katniss singing to her, and then Peeta and Katniss protecting each other and refusing to live without the other, the rebellion was already starting. Rue could have left her to die, and didn't, which Katniss acknowledges. Instead, she saved her life and lost her own. This is the act of goodness that spurs her on in the Games, and together with Prim, in CF when she considers running away. In sleep, she sees Rue reborn in the same world as Prim, safe in dreams where nothing can hurt her. Dancing in the meadow. Katniss helps create that world for her children, where they play in a field of yellow flowers, likely including Rue. And while the meaning of the name Rue is significant because Katniss regrets not saving her, it's likely significant for Snow and the Gamemakers as well, who likely regret her entering the Games in the first place; the plant (not the flower; the Everlark babies are safe!) Rue is poisonous to the touch, and as soon as Rue enters the Games, it's the beginning of the end of Snow's Games. Rue poisoned the Games with hope! And helped make the Mockingjay.

So anyway, I do think Peeta gives Katniss the most hope for rebirth. They are in love, after all. But Rue and Prim definitely gave her that bright yellow, too.

(Apologies to Katniss because buttercups are also yellow 😂)

[fantasy-nerdddd]

Coin could have made Katniss mad at Snow with less likelyhood of being exposed and without killing Prim

I was rereading Mockingjay - for the 27th time - and I had a thought. Prim's death was stupid. Coin sent a 13 year old into battle, as an untrained medic, and then dropped Gale's bomb on top of her. But that creates a huge problem. Two, to be exact.

First and foremost, why was Prim into battle? She didn't have the title of soldier. I bet she wanted to go, to keep an eye on her sister possibly or just helping out with her skills. But, it shouldn't be allowed. And District 13 is known for following the strict rules. So, that would have raised suspicion on its own.

Second, although less vital, the attack was their signature. Gale made this bomb, the concept at least. And while the Capitol could have a similar weapon, Coin certainly did. And Katniss could have known. When she learned about the weapon, she was in Special Defences right after she got released from the hospital because her choking bruises were getting better. And Coin had to have been keeping an eye on her. Especially considering how controlling she is. And she obviously knew Beetee and Gale where also there working on bombs, because it must have been in their program. Nevertheless, even out of Special Defences, Gale is supposedly Katniss' bestie. She should have known not to use a weapon of his, because there was a big chance Katniss knew about it.

If someone knew all of the above, they could have guessed that the bomb was from 13, Haymitch definitely would have. I think the fandom underestimates how much he understands what's going on. Coin, should not have killed Prim, because it could expose her intentions before she could get a grasp in control, as it did in the end. So, I can think of one way to turn Katniss against Snow.

When I said Prim wouldn't be killed, it doesn't mean no one else would. We just need to find a good enough substitute. But there isn't a big variety, if we are honest. She needed to find someone Katniss cared about, that was in the Capitol or would be reasonable to send in the Capitol, and could die because they were at the wrong place, in the wrong time.

In Mockingjay, I can't find the exact place it's said, Katniss thinks to herself "Except my mum, Prim and Gale, who else loves me unconditionally? In my case, I think it's none". Other than the criminal offence that she thinks Gale actually loves her, we need to take into account that this is said a short while after Peeta, Johanna and Annie return to 13 and Katniss and Peeta have their wholesome reunion. So, she was referring to him. And she cares. So we are adding him to the list of people Katniss cares about. Haymitch is added too, because she asked for his and only his comfort in Chapter 11, right after the bombing of District 13.

Alright, so our list consists of: Prim, Mrs Everdeen, Gale, Peeta and Haymitch. We already got Prim out of the way, and Mrs Everdeen would be a nurse too, so it would take two bombs to take her out, one to lure her into danger, and the other to blow her up. That's Gale's idea, so we cannot use her. Gale was captured by the Capitol for a bit, and even if he wasn't he is too loyal to Coin. Coin would have killed her only influence on Katniss. I am not convinced Haymitch wouldn't play it safe and hide in the shadows while drinking. And if he did, which to be fair, he would, and if we had a movie of him in the Capitol it'd be named "Finding Liquor", he would stay in a house waiting for the liquor to run out. Coin would have to bomb a entire city, but Katniss might have died in the process.

In my opinion, Peeta was the best sacrifice that could be made. He was already in the Capitol, he shouldn't be but he was. Whether he was there to kill Katniss, or a more unpopular opinion, to make Katniss kill him in fear of her life, that doesn't matter. She had already defamed herself by putting a mentally unstable Peeta in the battlefield, so she doesn't have to make it worse by sending a 13 y/o. And he was just running around ready to cause a distraction (completely irrelevant, but that his first thought was "Oh, let me go behind you so that if Katniss needs saving I can risk my life so she won't get captured" is so cute). He was just an accident away from blowing up.

But, I hear you asking, how could Coin know that Peeta meant this much to Katniss? Omg, do we have to get through this again? Finnick, chapter 11: "After your first Games, I thought the whole romance was an act on your part. We all expected you'd continue that strategy. But it wasn't until Peeta hit the forcefield and nearly died that I - that I knew I'd misjudged you. That you do love him. I'm not saying in what way. Maybe you don't know yourself. But anyone paying attention could see how much you care about him". Anyone. And if that isn't enough for you, Katniss, chapter 3: "When the war is over, if we've won, Peeta will be pardoned." *Dead silence for a while* "No form of punishment will be inflicted. The same goes for the other captured tributes, Johanna and Enobaria.". She basically said to her face "I care about him".

And I hear you saying "How would they know where he is?". Oh shit, that's a very good question. But how did they know where Prim is? How did they know that Katniss would see what happened? Or that they weren't hitting Katniss herself? Or that it was worth doing all of this, and Squad 451 wasn't dead in the sewers and eaten by the mutts? That's what I propose: Beetee found a way to hack the Capitol cameras. Plutarch was working next to Snow, he knew where the pods were. Beetee made the Capitol's TV system, that's why it took them so long to break into. But it's not unlikely either of them knew a way to hack the cameras. Or Plutarch just had people working for him that had access to the cameras.

And you know the best part? Katniss wouldn't need to see it either. If they had access to the cameras, they could just replay a video of the hovercraft dropping a bomb on Peeta. And it would break her. Just as much as it would with Prim. And Snow might have not convinced her that it was Coin. Because Coin wouldn't have sent a 13 y/o to battle, suspicious enough. And the attack wouldn't have Gale's signature. Just a hovercraft that dropped a bomb. And Snow's main argument still stands: Why wouldn't he have left with that hovercraft? But it might have been someone else's from the Capitol. Or that he knew he was doomed, that soldiers were coming from all sides, and hovercrafts were flying over his head. So he killed him, not as a last resort, but out of spite. So that Snow would have his own "If I burn, you burn with me!" moment with Katniss.

And either way, the chances of Coin being exposed would never be zero. But that's the closest I can get them to zero. And also: Peeta was basically a traitor. And I bet Coin wouldn't want to keep her promise with Katniss, to not inflict punishment if the rebels won. So his death would mean that she killed two birds with one stone.

And, in regards to literacy and symbolism, which plays a huge part in the series, his death would be as powerful as Prim's. Prim, was the person she saved from certain death, only to result in an uprising and, after some time, her death. Peeta was the person she refused to kill. Not because she was in love, not yet at least, but because she cared. Peeta was the reason this started, with the star crossed lovers strategy that got them closer, and the berries she pulled out so they both survive. They were the final two tributes of the hunger games, refusing to kill each other. And the 76th Hunger Games, as well as the Quell, were the desperate tries of the Capitol to get them to kill each other. And they refused. Again and again and again. The two tributes remaining, that were allies their whole games, can't be both Victors. They were in a rematch. And with the bomb, it's like getting out the mutts, the desparate option to kill a tribute when the final two refused to kill each other. And, just like how it was supposed to go at first, Peeta died and she lived. Like the Capitol wanted it to go. "Our lives belong to Snow and our deaths do to".

I need a fanfic with this concept. Hell, I might write one myself. Can you add anything? Either to strengthen the idea or to go against it?

Edit: Well know the fanfic is a WIP. Figures.

[deweyduck]

hey what’s your opinion of rise of red?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED I HAVE MANY THINGS TO SAY

spoilers under the cut

first of all i need to make it clear i liked the movie my biggest issue is just with the ending. it didn't feel like a descendants movie but i liked the characters and the plot wasn't as convoluted as it could have been and if you just ignore the things that don't make sense with the descendants canon it's fun and cute and harmless (nothing ever makes sense in descendants canon anyway).

my issue with the ending is that there wasn't one. it felt like a whole entire act was missing. they just go back to the future and everything is fine and the movie ends. any other movie would have had them go back either nothing changed but red understands her mother better now from seeing her past or they changed everything and that turns out to be a bad thing and they have to go back and make sure the prank was pulled and started a chain of events that lead them to where they were. i also feel like it sends a bad message that if you have nice parents everything is fine which kind of negates the message of the original movies.

BUT i have theories as to why it had such a rushed ending. i think they did film a lot more for the movie but it was rewritten and reshot either due to run time constraints OR because they're gonna use what they shot in something else like another movie or a show and they cut it up so they could make more money. lots of things point to this for me.

we didn't see crowncoming or the prank which were made out to be major plot points and then just dropped

they announced the character zellie with the official casting announcement posts and made it seem like she was an important character when in the movie she literally just stands in the background and laughs. she could have just been any extra. the actress who played her replied to a comment on her instagram asking if she had more scenes that were cut with the eyes emoji. also in the credits she's listed as meadow instead of zellie for some reason as if they were trying to make me forget zellie existed (i didn't)

the original announcement for the movie (when it was still called the pocketwatch) mentioned the fact that ben and mal were having a baby and yet there was no baby

chloe/malia's wig was constantly changing as if they had to go back and shoot more things and they didn't have the same wig or stylists anymore.

the song shuffle of love seems like it should have been used in a big dance number at the crowncoming but instead we just got one small scene with bridget dancing to it alone in her room

there was no proper finale song which is something that is such a staple to the descendants franchise

other movies get cut in half (deathly hallows, breaking dawn, mockingjay) but they never make it seem like everything is wrapped up at the end of the first part. and those examples always knew they were going to be 2 movies when they were written and filmed and not a last minute decision.

they could have hinted at everything not being all right in the end in some way but they didn't other than the "you didn't think this was the end of the story" line.

like i said i did like the movie but i was left so unsatisfied with the ending that that's all i'm ever gonna associate with it.

[kit-kat-katie]

this time, my time

A/N: hey, do you remember me? 0_0 it's been a long few months of school, to put in simply. now I'm off for the summer, and I'm here to slowly finish up my Finnick series and the request decaying in my inbox.

TW: canon violence and other sensitive topics (prostitution and other servitude to the Capitol), reader has a long-term knee injury, main character death, strong deviation from cannon events will start here, quick mentions of knives, past and present trauma for reader, the ending is so sad

Pairing: Finnick x GN! Reader (romantic)

Summary: The rebellion goes strong as you try to find your place in District 13. Things fall in and out of place as the continuous ups and downs of the warzone weigh on your mental and physical condition.

(<- Previous Part | Next Part -> | Series Masterlist)

You stand quietly outside of the meeting room, trying to pretend like you weren’t eavesdropping on the conversation going on inside. Whatever it was, it ended quickly as Katniss burst out of the doors first.

“So you’re going to be the Mockingjay?” You softly ask, which stops Katniss in her tracks.

“What choice do I have? You saw Peeta on TV in the Capital, and we know that the others are there too. I have to get him, them home.” She curtly says before turning and leaving the area.

You slip into the shadows as other members of the meeting leave - some you recognize, some you aren’t quite familiar with.

The last man to leave the room, the one you didn’t know on the air carrier that took you to District 13, is the only one to notice your presence.

“Do you believe Katniss is our Mockingjay?” He solemnly asks as you step into the light.

“She might not be an elegant speaker, or the best role model, but she’s got a lot of fight and energy left in her. If anyone is going to get us out of this mess, it’ll be her.” You hold on to your cane as you limp forward with your injured leg.

“What I said when we rescued you, Finnick, and Katniss, is still on the table. We can arrange to fix-”

“My fighting days are long over.” You gesture to your knee as a small chuckle escapes your throat. “Your doctors are amazing. They can prescribe fantastic painkillers, but they can’t fix this.”

Plutarch simply smiles to himself.

“You should see Beetee when you have the time. He’s made something for you, if you’re interested.” He shrugs before leaving you alone with your thoughts.

This cane is getting on my last nerve. It would be nice to walk with two feet again, or to walk long distances without having to be carried by a child.

~

“I’m assuming Plutarch spoke with you?” Beetee says as you stare in admiration at his room of inventions. 

“You’ve been busy while we’ve been stuck down here.” You marvel at something on his desk, but you know better than to touch.

“I haven’t had much to do, being stuck in a wheelchair and all.” Beetee makes his way over to you with a strange, metal-looking brace on his lap.

“What is that?” You ask as he hands it to you.

“It’s a regenerative knee brace - a special project that I was working on with a few of the medical specialists in Thirteen. I can’t guarantee that it’ll heal all, but you should be able to walk without that cane for hours at a time. Ideally, a few weeks of usage should get you completely healed, but we haven’t tested it on any subjects so the results may be unsure-”

“Beetee, I don’t think I can thank you enough for this.” You sit down on a chair next to him as you put the brace on. 

“Think nothing of it - it’s a favor for a friend.” He offers you a rare smile, and it’s one that you happily return.

When you stand up, the aching of your knee is reduced to a dullness that medication could only hope to achieve. After hobbling around Beetee’s workspace for a bit, you’re able to walk pretty well on your own - without that damn cane.

“It’ll work?” He asks as you brightly smile.

“This will definitely work.”

~

“I see you took Beetee up on his offer.” Finnick remarks as you lay on the bed next to him.

“You knew about this?” You ask as Finnick squeezes your side.

“Prim came to me one day and asked a bunch of weird questions about you and your medical history, and when I pressed her for answers, she told me about Beetee’s project for you. I only knew for two weeks-”

“-two weeks? And you didn’t tell me?!?” You playfully roll your eyes. “You watched me struggle for two weeks, knowing that there was a solution on its way. If I didn’t love you so much, I’d push you off of this bed.”

“You love me, Sunny?”

“Leave me alone.” You gently push him away before he wraps his arms around you.

“I love you too.” He mumbles into your hair before kissing your neck.

With the butterflies lingering in your stomach, you curl into his touch more as you feel your eyes become heavy.

“For the record, I’m still mad at you.” You mumble softly, and his bubbly laughter is the last thing you remember before drifting off to sleep.

~

“How is your knee?” Prim takes a few notes on her notepad as you swing your legs back and forth on the examination table.

“The pain isn't gone, but I can walk for a while without needing to sit down. Standing still can be an issue at times because my knee locks, and the brace is so heavy that it pulls me down with it.” You explain as she nods.

“That’s good progress, especially since you’ve only been wearing it for a week. I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Prim stands up and gathers her notes before heading towards the door.

“Wait a minute, you-” You pause before asking, “why did you want to help me recover? You helped Beetee with the brace, but why do so?”

“My sister likes you, as much as she can like anyone,” Prim says, “and I have the same trust in you. We need as many people as we can for the fight ahead of us, and if I can help one person get back on their feet, then it’ll be worth it in the long run.”

“You’re wise for your age, and strong.” You softly bite your lip. “I’m sorry about your home, about everything that’s happened to you.”

“It’s all in the past, and the future is what we make of it.” She nods before leaving the room, and you push yourself off of the bed before heading for the door yourself.

I wonder what Prim was like before all of this happened. I’ll have to ask Katniss sometime, if she’ll ever tell me anything personal about herself.

~

“President Coin has wanted to meet you for a long time, but in-between your recovery from the injury, Katniss becoming the Mockingjay, and then the recent attack, there hasn’t been much time-”

“-It’s alright, Plutarch. I’m just grateful she took us all in.” You shrug as Plutarch opens the door for you. “Thank you.”

President Coin stands up and offers you her hand, which you gladly shake.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sunny, if I may call you that?” She greets you before letting go of your hand, and you take a seat next to her.

“It’s alright with me. Thank you for your endless hospitality, President Coin, I can’t thank you enough.” You graciously bow your head.

“It’s no issue, but I’m afraid this isn’t a simple greeting. I requested your… unique expertise for a reason. After the attack on District 13, the civilians from this District and District 12 are, understandably, scared. I’m requesting that you offer some of your time and expertise to train them on different fighting tactics.” 

“You want me to teach them? What about Katniss or Finnick?”

“Katniss is an… acquired taste, and Finnick hasn’t connected to the people of this shelter as you have.” Coin explains as Plutarch nods along.

“People look up to you, not as a Victor, but as a person. You might not be the Mockingjay, but your voice and actions carry power. Why not use them for something good?” He adds as you ponder for a moment.

It’s been a while since I’ve held my knives… am I going to be okay with this?

“It might take me a while to get back into fighting, with my knee and all, but I’ll give it a try. I’m sure Beetee will be happy if I can get some more use out of this brace.” You lightly tap your foot on the ground as you feel the brace hum against your leg.

I wonder if it’s going to heal me fully, or if I’ll be stuck with this thing forever.

~

Training the civilians of the two districts didn’t go as poorly as you thought it would. You were worried about injuring yourself further, or worse, accidentally hurting an innocent civilian if your survival instincts kicked in. 

Those who had shown up seemed grateful for your help, and the children that you had grown to care for had come to watch the training. You weren’t going to let them fight, no child should be involved in a warzone, but you didn’t mind them watching.

Especially when they cheered every time you hit your mark or you pinned someone to the ground. It gave you a much-needed ego boost, something that had never really phased you before. All eyes had been on you since you won the Hunger Games those years ago, and it didn’t dawn on you how weird it felt to be left alone.

You were grateful, of course, to not have to look over your shoulder in case someone from the Capitol was spying on you. Things were just… different now. The life you had known since you won the Hunger Games was gone.

Maybe you could get used to the idea of an “after”, one where you can let go of everything that has been eating you alive. One where you and Finnick could…

It’s best not to get my hopes up.

~

“I learned a much more valuable form of payment… secrets.”

You stand next to Katniss, quietly wiping tears from your face as you watch him bare his soul for all to witness. It wasn’t like you were completely clueless to what he was doing in the Capitol, but you never knew it was this bad.

Katniss, on the other hand, is fixated on the small bits of footage of the rescue team. You can’t blame her for doing so - who knows how Peeta, Johanna, and the rest were doing inside of the Capitol? Had they been tortured, killed, or condemned to a fate much like Finnick’s?

“And the biggest secrets are about our President, Coriolanus Snow. Such a young man when he rose to power, such a clever one to keep it. How, you may ask, did he do it?” Finnick stares into the camera, and you stare into his eyes, hoping you can offer some sort of comfort when he can’t even see you. 

“One word: poison. He stopped every mutiny before it even started. There were so many mysterious deaths of his adversaries, even the allies who were threats. Snow would drink from the same cup to deflect suspicion, but antidotes don’t always work, which is why he wears roses as a perfume. It helps cover the scent from sores in his mouth that will never heal.”

Your eyes dart over to the rescue team footage as they get closer to the captives in the Capitol - Finnick just has to distract them for a bit longer. It’s tortuous, for you and for him, to live so vicariously through the trauma and memories that you’ve both carried for all of these years.

“He can’t hide the scent of who he really is. He kills without mercy, he rules with deception and fear. His weapon of choice is the only thing suited for such a man. Poison, the perfect weapon for a snake.”

Suddenly, things go white and you’re pulled out of the weird haze you were in when Katniss calls out to Beetee. Coin attempts to bring the footage back up, but it seems to be too late.

“We have another sixty seconds and then we’ll be cut off.” Beetee says, and someone in the room asks if they should call back the hovercraft.

You would’ve volunteered to go next, to tell them every dirty little detail about being a Victor, but Katniss volunteered first. 

“Are you sure?” You softly ask, and Katniss nods as you step out of the way.

The others in the room do the same as Katniss calls out to President Snow multiple times, and time runs thin before he answers her back.

“What an honor, and I don’t imagine you’re calling me to thank me for the roses.” His face appears through the static, and you physically recoil at the sight of him. 

“I never asked for this. I never asked to be in the games, I never asked to be the Mockingjay. I just wanted to save my sister and keep Peeta alive. Please, just let him go.” The desperation in her answer is evident as she continues. “I will stop being the Mockingjay. I will disappear, you will never have to see me ever again.”

“Ms. Everdeen, you couldn’t run from this anymore than you could’ve run from the games.” Snow coldly says.

“Please, you’ve won. You’ve already beaten me. Release Peeta, and take me instead.” Katniss offers herself up, but Snow shakes his head.

“I couldn’t pass the opportunity for a noble sacrifice.”

“Then tell me what to do. I’ve always kept my promises, haven’t I?”

“You say you didn’t want a war, and that’s just what’s happened. I told you what a fragile thing peace was, and still, like a child, you took pleasure in breaking it. I know what you are, I know you can’t see past your narrow concerns, but please, Ms. Everdeen, I doubt you know what honesty is anymore.”

You’re barely able to focus on the conversation because the sight of President Snow is enough to send you into fight-or-flight. Haymitch has had to pull you back multiple times to prevent you from interfering, and you’re a few seconds from leaving the room entirely.

He’s not even here, and you’re still scared shitless of him. What a fucking nightmare you’ve found yourself in.

“You’ve asked me to convince you that I was in love with Peeta. Haven’t I, at least, done that?”

“Ms. Everdeen, it’s the things we love most that destroy us. I want you to remember that I said that. Don’t you think I know that your friends are in the Tribute Center?” He pauses for a moment as everyone stares in abstract horror. “Cut them off.”

The feed crashes as everyone launches into a panic. Haymitch goes to comfort Katniss as Beetee tries to reach those inside of the Capitol. You’re left staring at the screen, contemplating why he continues to play the same games with Katniss that he did with you.

~

“Sunny, you’ve done excellent work today.” Snow’s eyes remain fixated on his roses as you admire the poppies near the entrance. 

“Thank you, President Snow.” You quietly mumble.

“You can just call me Snow - we are friends, are we not?”

“Of course, my apologies.” You put on a brave smile as you take a cautious step forward.

“No need to apologize, at least not to me.” He pauses for a moment. “I heard from one of my advisors that you had brushed off his attempts at courting you.”

“It won’t happen again.” You bow to him after looking back at the poppies. “I’ll go and make a personal apology before I leave for District Four.”

“Good, it’d be a shame if I had to hurt the family that threw you out after you had won the games. Or maybe I’ll show your new ‘family’ some of the raw footage of your Games, if that would be enough to deter them from speaking with you again.”

“I sincerely apologize for disrespecting you, Snow, and I will make sure that my apology is just as sincere to your advisor.”

“I know you will, you always make great amends. That’s what I like about you, Sunny, you know when you’ve done something wrong, and nothing will stop you from making it right.” Snow picks a rose before making eye contact with you. “The advisor is being housed on the second floor of my home.”

“Thank you for your utmost kindness.” You bow again before scurrying away.

~

“They’re here.”

Nothing could’ve stopped you from rushing into the hospital ward - not even the armed guards that tried to stop you. Your eyes scan around for a familiar face, and you spot Johanna pulling away from guards and doctors alike.

“Leave me alone!” She barks at them before looking at you. “You look like shit.”

“You look much worse, believe me.” You scoff before waving the doctors away. “I’ve got her, I promise.”

“I tried to give them hell, but the Capitol repaid the favor with interest, as they always do.” Johanna reluctantly swings her legs back onto the hospital bed as you arrange some of the medication nearby.

“Don’t worry, I’ll watch what the doctors give you. You won’t have to take anything you don’t need, I promise.” You step aside and gesture for a doctor to come back.

“The knee brace?”

“Talk to Katniss about that one.” You both chuckle to yourselves before Finnick bursts into the ward.

“Annie? Mags?” He calls out as he desperately searches around the area.

When you look back at Johanna, she has a sympathetic look on her face as you cover your mouth with one of your hands.

“I’m sorry-” 

“-I need a minute before I do something I regret.” You back away from Johanna and rush into the hallway as you continue to hear Finnick call out for them.

Hot tears fall down your face as you let your metal knee brace pull you to the ground. After seeing Peeta alive, you had hope for the others… but your hope had now been crushed.

You remember a time when you wished that you and Finnick could have all of the time in the world to be alone together.

Now you want to reach back into the past and slap yourself for saying that.

There wouldn’t be anymore Sunday dinners, small fishing trips, or beach picnics. No more midnight stargazing with Mags when you couldn’t sleep, or baking cookies with Annie as a way to help her relax for a while.

Everything you had gained after losing yourself in the Games was nearly gone.

All that was left was the somber man who just stumbled out of the ward. The look in Finnick’s eyes was distant - he was here with you without being here with you.

You, as quickly as one with a knee brace can, stand up and rush into his arms. You’re sure that your sobs can be heard from the farthest corner of the underground facility.

He doesn’t even respond or move his head in acknowledgment. 

Neither of you move, and time doesn’t either as you grieve together.

You wanted to believe that you were out of your waking nightmare, but maybe the Games were just the beginning of a lifetime of torture.

Only time would tell.

tagging ->  @yokolesbianism , @avoxrising, @honethatty12, @sweetybuzz25, @catvader101, @sollum, @emerald-valkyrie, @randomgurl2326, @caitsymichelle13, @bcbci, @iris1587 (send a request or comment on this fic to be added to the taglist!)

[tumblingghosts]

hello i'm here to ask for more about time travel katniss meeting jessup diggs because the post you made about it has haunted me to this day

re: time travelling katniss meets jessup

hello!! omg katniss time travel- sorry it took ages to answer this, but yes!! i’d love to yap about it!! so my original idea was that katniss is coming back from after the capitol bombing of district thirteen-

katniss still incredibly shaken by the new roses that snow planted and the reminder that they hold. she can't make herself say the line they want her to because she can't stop thinking about what will happen to peeta if she does (mockingjay, part ii "the assault", p163) and eventually has to be sedated. except when katniss wakes from what they injected her with, she doesn't wake up in thirteen. instead, she wakes up by the lake in d12.

she remembers getting sedated and makes her way to the ruins of twelve so she can try to clear her head, figuring that if the d13 crew left her here, then they would be nearby and pick her up later. the walk through the forest helps some. except, when she gets to the outskirts of what was d12, there's people, there's homes, there's more than the pile of rubble she had visited several weeks before.

it's at that point she starts to doubt herself- she thinks it might just be a dream or hallucination. she's been so stressed over peeta. it's no wonder that some of her reminders are slipping, she thinks. my name is katniss everdeen. i am seventeen years old. my home is district 12. there is no district 12. there is no district 12. there is no district 12. and yet- she slips under the fence and into the seam.

it's familiar, painfully so, yet there isn't a single face that she recognizes. she's lived in the seam her entire life. she knows the hob well. but she doesn't know anyone and no one seems to know her. this should be her district, her home, yet she's left feeling out of place in her d13 mockingjay outfit. this is how jessup finds her, stumbling upon her and pulling her aside.

you shouldn't stick out like that, he tells her.

jessup doesn't know where she's from. he doesn't know everyone in the district, but she looks seam, except her clothes are nice. they're a plain black, but they look new and well-made. that kind of casual display of wealth can be dangerous. when he finds that katniss doesn't have a place to stay (she'd passed by where she lived and it had hardly been recognizable as her house), he brings her to his home, apologizing that they don't have enough food for another mouth, but at least she'd have a roof over her head.

it reminds her, strikingly, of peeta- that casual kindness for someone he doesn't even know, who he owes nothing to, yet chooses to give to anyway. katniss decides she's going to pay him back. hunting is something familiar, something that's almost comforting, and the new bow that she makes fits in her hands much better than the ones in the arena or the one that d13 had made for her. she brings back several squirrels for the diggs family, insists upon them taking it all, but jessup still gives her one back. he could hardly eat what she hunted for them while leaving none for her. katniss concedes to that.

it's a month before the hunger games and katniss finds herself falling into a family. she misses prim, she misses peeta, she misses haymitch, she misses gale- but she's missed d12 too, and she's missed this sense of community that thirteen never quite had for her. she was their mockingjay, and katniss was never ready to be a symbol. this, on the other hand, is straightforward. familiar. she hunts, she provides, she cares- and she ends up opening up as she learns more about the lives of the people she is living with.

she’s has always been protective of those with kindness, who choose to be compassionate in a place where selfishness means survival- yet the diggs family have opened their home to her for no other reason than she needed it. jessup has to reminder over and over that it’s not about owing, but katniss still helps where she can. she learns what she had been trying so hard to ignore, that this is far before her years, far before even her parents’ years, and katniss struggles with that knowledge. peeta and prim are far into a future she doesn’t know if she could ever rejoin, and when the tenth hunger games roll around, they take away yet another kind boy in her life.

the arena has haunted her twice-over, but katniss thinks she could suffer a third if it means saving the boy who embodies compassion. katniss does not know who lucy gray is, but she tries to take her place for jessup’s sake. however, these are the early days, and volunteering is not yet an established allowance. there are no capitol escorts to approve of such an action, only a mayor who had rigged the reaping for a specific girl and was not going to allow a sudden commotion to change his mind.

katniss cannot even watch the games. it is not mandatory to watch the games, and she hadn’t realized that. she does not know if that’s a mercy or not. she does not want to watch jessup die, but there is something tragic about the thought of him dying with no one to give him a proper send-off. the only thing that keeps her from doing the three-finger salute as he’s dragged away is that she is not ready to say goodbye. it is the last time she sees jessup diggs.

katniss can’t make herself stay at the diggs household when jessup is returned in a box. she goes on a hunting trip and leaves the spoils on the table the night she slips out. the capitol has killed jessup, and she thinks of peeta still suffering in the capitol, miles and years away. she doesn’t know when her district, her home, had become so unfamiliar. she finds herself back in the forest, back at the lake, back at the house by it that her dad had taken her to.

and katniss lets herself mourn.

(woo okay that got pretty long- there’s some drama to be had if katniss ever meets lucy gray, maybe they have a chance to talk about jessup and remember. she’s not too happy to learn about lucy gray’s new peacekeeper boyfriend, especially when katniss learns exactly who he is, but i like to think that katniss’s hostility towards snow does make lucy gray a bit more wary. she does remember katniss attempting to volunteer for her after all, even if they don’t quite know each other.)

thank you for the ask!! :D