#mmmmmmm delicious angst

[tending-the-hearth]

Darry and Dally are childhood best friends.

They meet on the playground when they’re little, Dally’s by himself, Darry’s with Mr. Curtis. Darry invites Dally to play with him, Mr. Curtis gives Dally an encouraging look, and that’s it. He goes home with them for dinner, and Mrs. Curtis takes a single look at him and immediately welcomes him into the family. Sodapop’s instantly obsessed with the idea of having a second big brother. Besides Two-Bit, Dally’s the first of the gang to be welcomed into the Curtis family.

Dally and Darry are thick as thieves from that moment on, and it’s part of the reason they start going by nicknames. They loved that their names rhymed when shortened, so they all but demanded to be called Dally and Darry. They’re inseparable, and for most of his childhood, Dally has a spot at the Curtis’ dinner table, a sleeping bag set up in Darry and Sodapop’s bedroom (which is usually abandoned in favor of the three boys piling together on the small bed), and a pile of clothes folded and tucked into Darry’s dresser.

Ponyboy grows up knowing he has three big brothers. He fully believes for the first years of his childhood that Dally and Darry are twins, and when he brings Johnny home one afternoon, Dally and Darry are instantly hit with nostalgia at the fact that they’re reminded of themselves. Ponyboy introduces them to Johnny as “the twins”, and Johnny looks at them wide-eyed, and Dally and Darry exchange a look before both of them deciding they’d protect their younger boys with their lives.

Two-Bit becomes a more permanent fixture after his dad’s death, and Steve and Ace become part of the gang a few years after, but Dally’s the only one who isn’t afraid to call Mr. and Mrs. Curtis “Ma and Pops”. He’s called them that since his first night spent at the Curtis home, and Mr. Curtis is the only man Dally ever respects for the rest of his life.

Dally runs to the Curtis home one afternoon, and bursts through the front door, absolutely panicking as he throws himself at Mrs. Curtis. Through his tears, he tells the only family who has ever loved him that he’s leaving, that his dad is making him move to New York with him, and he doesn’t know how long he’ll be gone, or if he’ll even be able to write. Dally stays the night with them, curled up with Darry on the couch, the two clinging to each other with Sodapop curled up on Dally’s other side, little Ponyboy cuddled between them.

Dally leaves the next morning, and that’s the last the Curtis family sees of him for another four years. Every so often a letter will show up addressed to Darry, but the letters get shorter and shorter, the language becoming sharper and harsher until they stop.

When Dally returns to Tulsa, he’s not the same. Darry is overjoyed to have his best friend back, but there’s a harshness to him. There’s a bite, an anger, something that wasn’t there before. Amongst the gang, there’s a wall put up. Dally snaps and snarks, and hurls insults at the Socs, and argues with Darry with a sharpness that Darry had never heard before.

Mrs. Curtis is the only one who can get the old Dally back. She continues inviting him to dinner, and on the nights he accepts, it’s like nothing has changed at all. Dally’s walls fall down, and he’s grinning, joking with the Curtis boys, calling Mr. Curtis “Pa” and asking about going hunting, and for a few wonderful hours every so often, Darry has his best friend back.

Then the Curtis parents die.

It’s the last time Darry has his best friend.

Dally’s the one that Darry crumbles in front of, late late late in the evening after the funeral. Sodapop and Ponyboy are tucked in their bedroom, smothered in a pile of greasers with Steve, Two-Bit, Ace, and Johnny.

Darry sits on the couch, Dally sits beside him, and Darry completely falls apart. He sobs, trying to muffle his cries so he doesn’t want up his babies, but Dally just wraps him up in the tightest hug possible and cries with him. He lets Darry fall apart, his hold almost on the painful side.

But it’s after that night that Dally slips into the hardened mask, and Darry steps up into the parental role, and they just… fall apart. They don’t completely ignore each other. Darry makes side remarks about making too much dinner, not-so-subtly hinting that Dally should join them + Johnny for dinner. Dally steps up to keep an extra eye on Ponyboy and Johnny. During the few rumbles, Darry and Dally watch each other’s backs, the way they had been doing for years.

Dally knowing that he’s about to die, and calling the one person he knows will drop everything to help him. Darry answering and praying that he has a chance to get to his best friend, to help him before it’s too late. Dally dying, and turning so that he’s facing his friends, his brothers. The last thing Dally seeing before he dies being Darry, his best friend screaming for the police to leave him alone.

Dally and Darry being each other’s person in the same way Johnny and Ponyboy are each other’s person.

Darry losing his parents, one of his brothers, and his best friend in the entire world in less than a year.

Darry and Ponyboy having one more thing to bond about.

[therxtking]

Me waiting for Gordon to actually get close with people he interacts with and start expressing his toxic traits rooted in protecting himself and pulling away when they try to help him or get worried.

And for someone to actually find out about Temper. And for someone to stick with and along the way for Gordon to piece together that Temper didn't love or care about him.

Someone to tough love Gordon into getting better.

And of course. Someone finding out what Temper actually did, not just the watered down 'we argued alot, I didn't give him enough attention, I was disloyal and wasn't accounting for his feelings, I didn't take care of myself and it wasn't fair to him. I was hard to love even without being a rodent.' etc etc.

And then his issues with his mother... That's a whole 'nother box of rot sitting in his head.

[maryangelex]

hey hey !! I just read your recent ex husband price fic and it’s EVERYTHING , your writing is impeccable 💕

I was also wondering if i can request angst/hurt no comfort ex-husband price! Is it bad that I kinda want to see this man suffer ?? 😭

a/n: thank you so much anon!!!! and ofc you can because...i too love a man in dispair D: something about price in shambles just mmmmmmm delicious!!!

i hope you love it :D (maybe cry a lil)

c/w: afab! reader, divorce, angst, hurt no comfort, grown man crying, alcohol use, fertility issues, age gap

He should have known better than to take you for granted. He shouldn't have anticipated you'd be fully okay with his line of work and everything that came with it. He should have made more of an effort to be there for you rather than feigning ignorance about how you were feeling, how lonely you had been, how difficult it had been for you to be alone when you needed him most when every pregnancy test would come back negative, or the pregnancy wasn't viable.

Instead, he'd come home to you pretending there was nothing wrong between you two. You gave him the benefit of the doubt time and time again; this was the way he coped coming back from missions, by coming home to the 'perfect' life he had built with you. You don't know what hurt you most, the facade he put on that everything was fine and dandy and there was nothing to be resolved or the cold shoulder he gave you when it was just too much for him to put on a fake smile.

He should have taken it as his cue to drop the act and be the husband he swore to be the second you brought up divorce. And instead, he kept his mouth shut, nodded his head, and gave you a mask of understanding. Once again, being passive about your marriage because too much of his energy had been put into his work. Not only that, but he already knew how much of a failure he had been at being your husband.

He knew you were too good for him since the very beginning. He was too old for you who had just started your life. He was too busy to even begin dating you, much less marry you. He was mentally (nor physically, really) not fully there to provide for you.

So when the divorce was finalized and a year passed, it was no surprise to see you had moved on. You looked happy in the pictures with your new beau, happier than he had ever seen you leading up to the divorce; maybe since after your honeymoon. Your smile was radiant and wide, your skin glowing, and your eyes glinting with newfound hope that this other man would be the husband you really deserved. He knew you deserved better, accepted it, even.

He dwelled on the fact that he failed you at providing you the love and dedication he vowed to you at the altar. The warm feeling of whiskey had become more familiar on his lips than the feeling of your lips.

He missed you like hell, he couldn't think of anything else he wanted back more. He sobbed himself to sleep thinking about how he let you slip between his fingers and lost you, his precious wife. The thought of being with another woman made his skin crawl, feeling repulsed by it. He requested extra missions to get away from the city and the apartment you two shared, but only got himself extended leaves for his mental state.

At the two-year mark, he found himself sick of moping and grieving and decided it was about time he took action. Moving on to someone else was not an option; it was you or nothing. When he picked the pieces of himself back up and could finally stand on his feet, he made his way back to you.

He hadn't heard from you since he saw that picture of you and the new guy on your social media, but he got in contact with your mother and she willingly gave him your new address. And when he stood at your doorstep, a bouquet of tulips in hand and his best attempt at a smile, you opened the door to him and it hit him like a trainwreck.

Seeing you with an infant on your hip made his knees nearly buckle.

"John?" was all you could say, and the sound of your voice after so long made his ears ring.

John Price was a man of steel, a man with infinite courage who braved terrorists and bullets aimed at him. But the sight of you with the babe he couldn't give you, the love he couldn't fill you with, the life he swore to provide and failed to, made him lose any will to live that he had gathered in the last year.

[impishtubist]

Since top 3 wouldn't be appropriate enough for Sirius being multishippable, I want to ask about your top 10 Sirius ships

Ooooooooooh what an excellent idea! He truly is the fandom bicycle.

So I rotate Sirius/Remus, Sirius/James, and Sirius/James/Remus in my brain on a constant basis like a chicken on a rotisserie. They're probably the top three slots, although that does change depending on the day.

Next up is Sirius/Kingsley - there's something delicious about the man in charge of the hunt for Sirius Black actually fucking him in secret and sending his aurors on wild goose chases all over the world.

Sirius/Bill and Sirius/Charlie are also delicious - they're scandalously young but also extremely hot. Bill with his curse breaking and his earring, Charlie with his thick forearms and his dragon wrangling - both are excellent partners for him.

Sirius/Bellatrix - I LOVE the headcanon that they were betrothed as children, and also Sirius fucking an older woman is very hot. He deserves to hatefuck her, and I also headcanon that he lost his virginity to her. Sirius/Rosmerta is also great for this reason - I do think that she's older than him.

Sirius/Ginny and Sirius/Cedric - let's talk about Sirius fucking Harry's exes, or even stealing them form him. Mmmmmmm delicious (sorry Harry). I can also get on the Sirius/Fleur train because @arliedraws is amazing at getting me to ship things I didn't want to, lol.

Oh, and Sirius/Harry! I've read lots of delicious Sirius/Harry. The angst! The conflict! The daddy issues! I eat it up.

Shoot, that's eleven ships. Oh well. I will say that for all the age gap ships listed above, you've got to preserve the age gap. No time travel to make them "acceptable" ages. The whole point is the taboo of it!

Honorable mention ships: Sirius/Percy, Sirius/Fred, Sirius/George, Bill/Sirius/Fleur (he deserves to be in that sandwich, damn it!). Oh, and Sirius/Cornelius Fudge, of course. All hail CornDog!

[omgeto]

alright KARMA ANON HERE i just read ghosting/ghosted (i forgot what tense the title was in oops) and heres my full length review. . .

k first of all MMMMMMM GETOOOOo 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 i love how u write geto its so delicious weeeooo. also the tension leading up to the smut was actually so well written, ive been here since the beginning and its crazy how much ur writing style improves as u write more n more (sayin this as a fellow writer 🤫) and the whole atmosphere/vibe of the fic was just so enticing mmmm

uhh i think everyone else is talking about the smut which was amazing as always but personally i really liked the leadup to it. I WONT SHUT UP ABOUT THIS. the tangible tension was actually so realistic and even as someone whos never really been in that position (duh i dont date serial killers) i felt that 💔

geto being more pragmatic as opposed to reader's more idealistic view was also a nice contrast. like its used pretty frequently in fics like this and tbh im tired of it bc personally im more of a pragmatic person too but u wrote it in a way that wasnt totally obnoxious THANK U FOR THAT <3

the whole fic had a darker undertone to it AND SHITTTT THE PART WHERE GETO WENT "ill see u again" and reader was like thats another promise that he probably wont fulfill RUINED ME. the way it was smut with an undertone of angst was so attractive like if the fic was a person id hit fr.

uhh yea karma anon over and out 💯

awww you actually gave me a full review, I love you karma...anon and you've been here since the beginning crazy wild. very very wild.

but thank you sooo much, im glad you actually liked the build up to the smut that was the part I was obsessing over and what took me so long to write it, since I wanted the angst to be perfect lol and I actually pride myself in being able to write a good angsty scene sooo im glad you liked it.

YEAH GETO SAYING HE'LL SEE HER AGAIN AND THEN HE GOES OFF AND GETS MURKED BY YUTA, LIKE WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO AND DO THAT, WHY COULDN'T HE JUST STAY THAT SILLY SOD.

[hollownest-whore]

Spiral of ants (2016)

[opalescient]

haikyuu fic recs — the most beautiful, lovely, breathtaking masterlist (vol. I)

so i’ve been binging fics to cure my sadness, and i thought that these select masterpieces were too magnificent to not be plastered on every billboard ever. some tore my soul into shreds, while others melted said shreds back whole, but all of them made me feel some form of sheer, unadulterated love, so. please enjoy! 🥰⛅️✨

note: all of these fics are exquisite and you should read all of them, but if you’re short of time, those with ☆ are my all-time favourites!

daisuga

butterfly in the subway by bigspoonnoya ☆ | T

Sugawara Koushi has no idea he's already in love with the man he's supposed to hate.

i lovelovelove how all the concepts tied in together like a perfectly wrapped gift

also very wholesome, made me feel so inexplicably warm. like, love can exist everywhere!!! despite everything!!! that’s just so inspiring

i revisited this many times, i think it was (one of) my first haikyuu fics and honestly. it set the bar so high and i have no regrets

you’d fit my lonely arms so perfectly by boxofwonder ☆ | G

“Oh. You're. Not Asahi.”

Calmed down enough that he can speak again, Daichi takes a deep breath, his smile settling on his face easily and wide.

“Not as far as I know, no.”

-

Suga accidentally calls a stranger instead of his best friend, tells him all about his burned batch of cookies before realising, and that particular mistake might turn out the best one he ever made.

major, major fluff

the buildup!!!

god this made my yearning for love so much worse

the perfect stranger by downmoon | T

There’s a man standing outside Suga's door.

Scratch that. Start over.

There’s a man he doesn’t know standing outside his door, holding his sleeping nephew in one arm, with another kid clinging tightly to his free hand.

so domestic please read the entire series from start to finish it has my whole heart

shoyou and tobio as their actual kids 🥺

these two parents are so in love it makes me wanna cry

asanoya

silica sand by lilien passe ☆ | G

Overworked, over-stressed programmer Azumane Asahi works on the top floor of a Shinjuku skyscraper. Nervous around his coworkers and terrified of the long drop on the other side of the window, Asahi falls into a miserable routine, only to have it broken one day by a simple message on the outside of the glass.

PLEASE. so well-written it makes my heart glow and ache simultaneously

made me ascend into asanoya heaven

such a brilliantly unique concept i love it A+

qué syrah syrah by loudlucy | M

Asahi wants to be a Master Sommelier. It's the highest honor in wine service, and the certification would allow him to live the life he's always envisioned for himself. Too bad the certification test is notorious for being the world's most difficult.

Most people fail their first time taking the exam, and Asahi is no exception, but he has more difficulty than most dusting himself off and getting back on his feet. Enter Nishinoya, a young man who shares his same dream, and who believes in their goals so fiercely it forces Asahi to embark on a delicious and sensuous journey of viticulture and validation.

AKA The Wine Tasting AU that literally no one even knew to ask for.

NOTE: You Do Not Need to Know About Wine to Understand This Fic!

another super unique concept!!! (´∀｀=)

my god their chemistry is amazing

the writing made me feel things ngl

stop my bones from wondering by cerasi ☆ | T

After graduation, Asahi hides from the world and needs help from a few sources to find his way back.

i want to write sonnets and sing ballads for this fic, it’s that beautiful

as always, Top Notch Writing *chef’s kiss*

no but i seriously... can i kiss the author? asking for a friend 😳👉🏼👈🏼

iwaoi

star-crossed by starlitcities | T

“I never thought I’d see the day that I’d envy a human,” Oikawa admits, showering himself in tiny suns, because he can actually feels those, like a fusillade of warm kisses on luminous skin that leave marks. To humans, they’d be freckles. Skin stars, Oikawa calls them. He didn’t make that up, a human did.

“Who created the rule that we can’t touch, I wonder,” Iwaizumi ponders, floating heedlessly through space.

“Maybe it’s because we can fly. Humans dream of flying, right?”

“I don’t think so.”

gsjsgsjshsjshsjsj star!iwaoi

they’re LITERALLY STARS

beautifulbeautifulbeautiful i love how the author conveyed the beauty of touch and humanity 🥺🥺

please bless yourself further with the sequel sun-kissed

conquering the great king by suggestivescribe ☆| E

Iwaizumi blinked his gaze over to Oikawa, "Last time was supposed to be a one time thing," he said, voice low, lacking some conviction.

Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

yes.

in fact, this entire series (breaking the rules) features daisuga, kuroken, asanoya and it’s SO GOOD. every single one.

but anyway, character development!!!!! plot!!!!!!!!! writing!!!!!!!! i’m here for it all

tsukkiyama

campfire in your chest by deanpendragon ☆ | M

Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he’s probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he’s at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.

SO BEAUTIFUL

i am also a sucker for anything with stars, moons and all the love in between

no words to describe this work of art please just go read it and be blessed

under the lilac tree by raewrites | G

there’s a lilac tree in Kei’s backyard.

gorgeous in its simplicity

softtsukkisofttsukkisofttsukki

not as grandiose as the rest but the love written into every word, action and character is absolutely show-stopping

kagehina

saffron and cayenne pepper by dontsaycrazy ☆ | T

Cooking is hard. Even if you have your very attractive, very grumpy neighbor there to help you.

-

In which Hinata's lack of cooking skills are a danger to him and others. Luckily (or not), Kageyama is willing to teach him, if only for the sake of avoiding any burned down apartments.

the essence of their characters were captured so well and yet it’s like they’re completely new characters too? author, whoever you are, you totally owned this

this made me ship kagehina so hard

fluff! cuteness! lots and lots of cooing!

kuroken

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony ☆ | T

soulmate

/ˈsəʊlmeɪt/ • noun

A person who was made from the same star as you.

-

// Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives.

ahhh here it is. beautiful, heartbreaking, soul-emptying agony. you want angst? choke on this, and your tears later on.

no but seriously please read this if you haven’t you won’t regret it at all i promise

written from kenma’s perspective so you experience every depth and multitude of emotion he does and it’s so raw and- brb imma go cry for a sec

knot in my heart by hearthope | T

There’s a picture. Kenma blinks, looking at the little calico cat, being held up next to the face of a guy with stupidly messy hair and a crooked grin.

Cute.

The— the cat. The cat is cute.

Just the cat.

-

Kuroo starts spending a lot of time at the flower shop Kenma works at. Kenma definitely isn't into him.

okay so i like it when authors unravel a normally stoic character’s full scope of emotion and give them depth, sue me.

anyway, back on the fluff train!

i absolutely f*ck with flower symbolisms, cats and bitchy best friends who have dirt on each other. the layers of romance, friendship and everything in between is so prettily developed 10/10

bokuaka

the jacket you never returned by daisuga ☆☆ | G

He leaned over, kissed Bokuto on the cheek, and smiled bitterly, eyes watery.

He will never remember. Not now, not ever.

What they were will now forever be forgotten.

-

"You used to call me Keiji, Koutarou."

YOU USED TO CALL ME KEIJI, KOUTAROU!!!!!!!!!!

i beg you to listen to Spiegel im Spiegel when it’s first mentioned in the story please

i read this and screamed through my tears for a solid 1.5 hours. i rarely cry.

no f*ckin regrets though i read this thrice already and it hurts so good every time

rules by conesofdunshire ☆☆ | E

In which Akaashi Keiji is an overworked accountant who stumbles upon Bokuto one night playing the piano in the lobby of his work. Bokuto is different, that much is obvious. But with such supreme musical talent and a smile so dazzling it rivals the sun, there's just something about him that brings Akaashi back every night.

this fic. this fic has my whole, broken, sobbing heart and laughing soul

gorgeous. breathtaking. magnificent.

bokuto is so WARM and akaashi is so STRONG and they both find the solace they need in each other and it’s all i want for me 😭😭😭

in another life by littleluxray | T

Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.

The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.

this is a famous fic that i doubt any seasoned haikyuu reader wouldn’t know, and RIGHTLY SO BECAUSE, the PAIN. the pain. the pain.

i could feel my lungs shrivel up and my chest cave in on itself. fatigue and rest are things i struggle with too so this whole story resonated with me from start to finish, and it broke me. in like, the best, most revitalising way

i would read this again but it still haunts me at night. i need to heal from the first time before i have the guts to try one more time HAHAHA 😆💔😭

tea-stained polaroids by dalyeau | G

“I'm gonna date that,” Bokuto declares solemnly, and Kuroo throws a plastic spoon at his head.

mmmmmmm pretty photographer + personalised coffee cups + cute baristas = diabetic fluff fic

i smiled so much throughout this you have no idea. cheeks achey but so good

i may have squealed a little at the ending

kurotsukki

moonfall by batman | T

There is no unlearning Tetsurou, after all. There is only leaving him.

-

(Five things of Tetsurou's that ended up in Kei's home, and one that never left.)

the writing!!!!!! is pure beauty!!!! sheer grace!!!!!!! the construction of the AU and the romanticism and hsjsgsjshsj

didn’t cry but. heart ache and bittersweet smiles are another level of misery that is just as fulfilling

yea just pleasepleasepleaseplease go read it thank you and have a good day

hidden gem by realmSpinner | E

Things get complicated when everything you thought you knew about a guy changes, and they get even more complicated when you actually start liking those changes.

That guy working with you AND becoming your neighbor? That's just a cherry on top of the cake of confusion.

this AU was refreshingly different, and amazingly so

top!tsukki??? sign me the f*ck up

the whole plot, man. perfection.

pings by barfs ☆☆ | T

[5/02/16, 3:50:17 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Please wake up.

[5/02/16, 3:50:23 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I hate begging. You know I hate it.

[5/02/16, 3:50:34 AM] Tsukishima Kei: I bet you’re snickering at that, wherever you are.

[5/02/16, 3:50:53 AM] Tsukishima Kei: But, it keeps hurting and I don’t know why and it feels like shit and I know you could tell me why, but you’re not here and I would really appreciate it if you’d just wake up.

[5/02/16, 3:51:02 AM] Tsukishima Kei: You’re laughing at that too, aren’t you.

[5/02/16, 3:51:10 AM] Tsukishima Kei: Dying is probably up there in the list of top ten shitty things you’ve ever done, and you’ve done a lot of shitty things.

god.

you already know what’s coming, and yet. when it comes.

how the f*ck did the author make grief beautiful????????? (at the expense of me dying along with kei and everyone else i guess)

this fic will ruin you and bury you under all your pain (i hope you’re ready)

but also put you back together with the “sequel”

kyouhaba

close to the chest by darkmagicalgirl | T

It takes Yahaba thirteen years to realize he's different from the other kids, one to figure out how to hide it, and two more to learn to be happy just the way he is. Yahaba's journey ft. an extremely annoyed Kyoutani, best friend in the world Watari, and loads and loads of good senpai Oikawa.

cause i’m (not) alright with the slow, burn~

no fr, take slow and burn very seriously

overthinking yahaba? i understand. i do.

again, such an amazing fic; 10/10 recommend

safe here by crossbelladonna ☆ | M

“Raids are routine work,” Kyoutani tells to Yahaba before he can air the question. “Sometimes there is no sleep done until we accomplish something, say kill a certain ghoul. I guess they’re still going through the possibility that people in the accident are still alive huh?”

Yahaba quirks a smile, pushing his mask up his head.

“You’re alive.”

Kyoutani looks at him intently and all of the things that they’ve gone through for the past month seems to flash in his mind.

“Yes I am.”

i haven’t watched tokyo ghoul but i understood everything perfectly. such is the power of f*cking kickass writing

*cue ugly crying and a lot of unresolved angst*

like the grief??????? ruin me please thank you 🙏 (i think i’m a little masochistic)

rare pairs

mannequin men by surveycorpsjean ☆ | M

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tuskishima]

The modelling world is full of hungry wolves, constantly clambering over the other, snarling and desperate. They fight, and they kill, trampling over anything in their path.

In this case, Akaashi fell in love with the wolves.

i did not expect this to be good, and it wasn’t. it was SPLENDID.

akaashi is so enamoured with them from the get go i love it

a tiny bit of angst that stabbed me in the heart, but the happy ending soothed it (thankfully, because if there wasn’t one i will sue)

characterisation, writing, plot development; everything is great. can you tell i’m running out of synonyms for ‘beautiful’

feel like gold by heronfem ☆☆ | T

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/kenma]

In which Kenma is unapologetic and comfortable with who he is, Akaashi learns a lot about himself in a short period of time, Kuroo is wildly in love and an eternal survivor, and Bokuto remembers that love doesn't cure mental illness, but having a support system sure helps a lot.

Or, the one where 4 young men get together, and are helplessly, hopelessly, utterly in love despite everything.

e.e. cummings?? poetry??? f*ck yes

so beautiful. i’m so star-struck by this fic it’s simply stunning

there are no words to fully capture how worth your time and heart and mind reading this fic is so please. do yourself a favour, and fall in love with this fic with me

the sky and guilt are the only feelings i have left by oopsthisisqueertoo ☆☆ | not rated

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo]

Akaashi is at his wits end. He feels nothing. He's quickly crumbling as a human being. He wants nothing but sweet release of death. In his fourth year of college he drafts a plan for his suicide. He is to graduate, publish writing for others to be inspired by, and slip quietly away. Shortly after, he meets a dog walker named Bokuto who asks him out and Akaashi reluctantly agrees. Nothing matters anymore and he treats Bokuto like an obligation. Until he's not anymore.

TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPTS & DEPRESSION

this was... this gutted me entirely and filled my body with too many shades of agony

arguably one of the best haikyuu fics i’ve ever read

so beautiful in the most painful way fathomable; strongly recommend

april to may by surveycorpsjean | T

[bokuto/akaashi/kuroo/tsukishima]

They're an odd family.

The four of them? Parents?

But still, they're a family.

So they'll support each other until the end.

aaahhhhh third gym as parents 🥺

so much fluff. i also love april and may

they’re still so in love there’s love in every millimetre of this fic :”)

that’s it for now! i’ll add more if i come across anymore good fics. i hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any requests/fic recs, or if u just wanna chat, feel free to just ask! hehe 🥰 k aight bye~

[fandom-strumpet]

Game Night Confession Part 3

Summary: You and Kai are ready to take your relationship a step further. Turning over a new leaf comes with some consequences though and trouble strikes the town.

Word Count: 3,364 (Its a long one folks)

Warnings: Swearing, temporary character deaths, angst, basic TVD violence

You and Kai had been dating for a few months now and you were ready to ask him the question. You both were close enough now in your relationship anyway with the apartment so there were no more noise complaints from Elena or the Salvatores. Not that they had much room to judge. Kai was in the kitchen making breakfast and he greeted you over his shoulder when you made the floorboards creak in the hallway.

"Morning baby girl, I made breakfast. Figured I'd surprise you and let you sleep in."

"Awww thanks, it smells delicious," you gave him a hug from behind and snatched a piece of bacon off the plate. "Mmmm," you moaned, bacon was truly a gift from heaven.

Kai looked over at you and grinned, "I'm glad you like it."

Kai absolutely loved making you happy. Knowing this gave you confidence in asking him for things and having heavy conversations. You loved him more than anything and he, you.

"Kai?" he raised his eyebrows, encouraging you to continue your question.

"Will you turn me?"

"You know I already love turning you, but maybe not with pancakes on the stove," he winked playfully.

"That's not what I meant," you giggled and ran your hand up his arm onto his bare chest, "Will you turn me?"

Kai froze, the pancake sizzling after just being turned over.

"Pleeeeease," you stuck your lip out, batting your puppy eyes at him.

He stood for a moment, his lips pursed. "Yes."

"EEEEK!" You squealed.

"But-"

You stopped squealing, you knew there would be something he demanded in return and you were ready to give him whatever he wanted.

"I want to surprise you when I kill you. I'll give you my blood but I won't tell you when or where, it'll be fun. I promise it won't be anything too painful. It will be quick." You felt nervous for a second but pure euphoria overtook the feeling in a heartbeat as you realized just how close you were to spending eternity with the love of your life.

"So for almost 24 hours you're going to let me live with the anxiety and suspense of dying unexpectedly?"

"Yep," he tilted his head studying your reaction to his proposal.

"Alright." you stood on your tiptoes and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Mmmmmmm" he hummed against your lips, breaking the kiss with a smile, "Is my baby ready for breakfast?"

You bit your lip trying to contain the joy screaming through your veins, "Yes! And thank you babe, for breakfast and for saying yes."

"Anything for my baby girl," he winked and set the plates of food down on the table. You blushed, hearing him call you baby girl always sent butterflies into your stomach. The nickname would never get old and you absolutely loved it. There was an excellent mood in the atmosphere as you both finished off breakfast. He cut his hand open and squeezed blood into a glass cup for you. The fluid looked so beautiful in the sunlight ad you grabbed the cup slowly, taking in what was about to happen. Raising the glass to your lips you squeezed your eyes shut, letting the iron flavored drink enter your body. Kai admired how fragile and beautiful you looked sitting there drinking his blood. It was weirdly attractive to see you like this. Standing up you head over to the bedroom doorway and look back with a devious smile.

"I'm going to shower, care to join?"

"Love to." Kai grinned back with lustful eyes.

--------Later at Lunch--------

"Y/N you can't be serious! This is not a life you want." Elena harshly whispered in the restaurant.

"I think it would be interesting to see you as a vampire," Damon said cooly but changed his tone and sat up when Elena shot him a glare, "Elena has a point though." He pulled her closer with his arm around her shoulder as a make-shift apology.

"Come on Damon, weren't you the least bit excited when Elena became a vampire so you could spend eternity together?" The couple looked at each other but remained silent.

"I think it's a good idea and I support you," Caroline stated. Elena's jaw dropped upon hearing Caroline of all people support you on this decision.

"Thank you Care! Thank you!" you leaned over and wrapped your arms around her in a hug. Caroline rested her chin on your head, "But Y/N?"

You looked up as she continued, "Just be careful okay?"

"I am, I know what I'm doing. Now all of you know not to be surprised if Kai kills me while I'm with you."

"Whatever." Elena mumbled and shook her head sliding out of the booth. Damon followed her lead but gave you a quick thumbs up and wink before disappearing. You were so excited, nobody could or should ever feel this way about being killed but to you it meant something different. Dear god, am I a psychopath for wanting this?

Stepping out of the grill, an arm wrapped around your throat and pulled you back. Instinct kicking in, your hands flew to grip the arm. You recognized the fabric and felt relief knowing what would soon be happening. Caroline looked on with a look of concern and possibly disgust on her face. With one swift movement his hand was on the side of your head and the world went black.

You woke up on the sofa in your apartment. Your head pounded, your lips felt cracked and your throat hurt like you hadn't drank anything in days.

"Good Morning sunshine," Kai grinned hopping off the barstool. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a couple blood bags. "Here, drink up. You need it."

You fumbled and opened the blood bag as swiftly as you could. You could feel the black veins on your face appear. Downing the first bag in a minute you ripped open the second one and wolfed it down as well. You gave a sigh of relief as the headache and pain faded away. You must have been out for a couple hours, based on the amount of sunlight making its way in. It was almost sunset.

"Better?"

"Much." You smiled, everything felt so much more heightened. Tears started to fall down your face, "Oh Kai..."

Kai's face scrunched up in concern, "What is it baby girl?"

"I love you so much," you sobbed.

Relief crossed his face as he understood what was happening. "Your emotions are heightened right now with the change but soon you'll have them under control."

You nodded and leaned forward to hug Kai's waist who was now standing over you. His arms wrapped around you and he rubbed your back which he knew always helped calm you down. His hand traveled to your chin to tilt it up so you were looking at him.

"Baby?" he wiped the last tear off your cheek/

"Yes?" you whimpered.

"How about we go out and celebrate tonight?" your brows furrowed at his proposal. Kai noticing your look continued, "I don't mean let's go and feed off people, I mean let's celebrate and go out to eat." He tilted his head waiting for your reaction.

You stood and wrapped your arms around his neck, "Yes! Yes I would love that!"

"Good," Kai smacked your butt, "Now go get ready princess."

Kai watched you skip off to the bedroom and smiled, his heart soaring at being able to spend forever with you.

-----------Later that Night-------------

You were so angry, you could hear the bartender's heart pounding and her blood, delicious blood coursing through her veins as she continued to beam at Kai. You glared and cleared your throat, catching the blonde's attention. Upon catching your look she huffed and turned away to check on another attractive brunet down the row. Kai turned and studied your face bemusedly.

"What?" you tried to shake off the look but it was too late.

"Are you- jealous?" he smirked.

"Ugh, I- I am not jealous. I just need some air."

Kai cocked an eyebrow, "O-kay."

Stepping into the alleyway you took a big swallow of the cool night air. It was only 8 but it already felt so late. You started to pace, taking your frustration out on the trash.

"I am not jealous, especially of some stupid blonde," you grunted and kicked a bottle hard sending it smashing against a brick wall. The back door of the bar opened and you jumped, expecting someone to come out yelling about the racket. Instead the blonde bartender stepped out a little too coolly, moving almost mechanically.

"What are you doing here?" you snapped.

"I don't know. This guy told me to come out here and for some reason I listened." She looked puzzled and your curiosity started to grow.

"Was it the guy I was with?"

"No. It was some other guy."

"What else did this guy say?" You inquired, allowing yourself to walk closer and closer to her.

"He told me not to scream." The girls voice trembled with this sentence.

Dear god. She had the most beautiful throat, you don't know how you missed it before. If only you could have a taste. No. You promised Caroline to be careful, you were a new vampire with limited restraint. You wanted to kill her. With every fiber of your being you wanted to drink her body dry. Almost as if she were reading your mind she tilted her head, moving her hair and exposing her neck more. Slowly she took a knife out of her apron and brought it to her throat.

"No! Don-"

But your plea was cut short when you saw the bright red liquid start to dribble down. You could feel your eyes change and teeth pop out. With a hiss you lunged toward her, sinking your fangs into her warm beating flesh. After drinking for so long, you entered an almost drunk like state. Stumbling back to your apartment, you manage to shower and clean yourself up, tossing the dirty clothes in the trash before finally passing out in bed.

Meanwhile back in the alleyway, Kai storms out looking for you.

"Y/N?" He stops walking when his shoes squelch. "Oh shit..." He looks down to see the dead blonde bartender from earlier, blood surrounding her neck which looked like it had been sloppily torn open. Black veins appear under his eyes and he looks up fast, taking a sharp breath in. After gaining control of himself, he covers his mouth and nose with his shirt diving in to clean up the mess you made.

"They're going to freak when they hear about this," he muttered, dragging the girl backwards down the alleyway.

You woke up with sunlight streaming onto your face making you groan and pull the sheets up.

"Good morning sleepy head." A husky voice drawled.

You froze, afraid to look at the guest in your home. "What are you doing here?" You asked, blanket muffling your question.

"Heard you had a wild one last night, just wanted to stop by and uhh ya know, check on my buddy."

Smiling painfully you pulled the blanket down to see Damon sitting on a chair across your room.

"I don't know what you mean."

Damon's fake smile disappeared and he frowned.

"Kai called last night after you 'stepped out for air' and he found a dead blonde in the alleyway."

You stifled a groan and he continued, "But that wasn't all, nooooo you had to go and continue the party of one around town."

"What?" Your nose wrinkled. You remembered drinking from the bartender and coming home, not going around town. "I did not do that Damon, you have to believe me."

"I don't." He snapped, "I believe your bloody clothes you half ass attempted to shove down the garbage disposal." He shook his head in disbelief.

You groaned and plopped your head back down onto the pillow.

"Alright, I drank blood from the blonde but I didn't hurt anyone else, I swear! I came right home and tried to clean up."

"You killed her, Y/N. There are three other dead people around town and you don't think that looks a little suspicious considering the circumstances?"

You paused, a look of grief sat on your face. The bedroom door opened and Stefan peered in, Kai leaning over his shoulder,

"Knock knock." Stefan called.

"Just go in Steven. Geez." Kai said exasperated, making you chuckle.

Damon's stern face cut your laugh short.

Stefan stepped in and turned to glare at Kai, "I don't know what Kai was thinking taking you out when you've just turned and still need to learn to control your bloodlust."

"I didn't kill all those people, you know." You cut in gravely.

Just then it dawned on you, the girl. You sat up quickly and grabbed your head in pain. It was like having a hangover with booze and blood. Ugh.

"Guys the bartender last night, she was acting weird."

"Yeah because death by vampire is a little weird." Damon rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm serious. The way she came out into the alleyway. Someone compelled her to come out, she said she wasn't allowed to scream and then she cut her own throat to get me to feed from her."

The Salvatore brothers stiffened and looked at each other.

"What? Do you two know something?" You looked between them frantically.

Stefan looked down and asked, "Did she say who compelled her?"

"Some guy in the bar but nothing else."

Damon ran his hand through his hair and blew out air, "I think we need to have a talk with someone."

Stefan nodded in agreement and in a flash, the Salvatore brothers had left your apartment. You looked pointedly at Kai who was now standing in the middle of your shared room. He shrugged his shoulder signaling to you that he had no idea what was going on. Huffing, you pushed yourself out of bed and walked past him to the kitchen. You needed a strong coffee for a day like this.

-------------------------------------

"ENZO!" Damon bellowed,

Stefan followed Damon into the boarding house, ready to acknowledge the guest who had been staying with them recently.

"Hello there." Enzo stepped out from the kitchen wiping his bloody hands.

Stefan raised his eyebrows at the sight and Damon cleared his throat.

"Oh- sorry about the mess I was just prepping dinner." He smiled innocently.

"Cut the crap Enzo." Damon snapped, Enzo's smile remained plastered on unnaturally.

"What's the matter, Damon? You look like you've had a very busy night."

Stefan stepped forward, "Come on, we know what you did. Stop stalling."

Throwing the towel down the vampire sped over to Stefan, "You know what I did huh?" He sneered.

"You lot have known how I feel about Y/N. Since the beginning and I thought by now you would have gotten rid of the Parker bastard. So what did you do mate?" He spit out.

Damon put his hand between Enzo's and Stefan's chests to calm them down. Enzo had been Damon's friend long ago and he was still willing to stick up for Enzo and give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Okay, but why frame Y/N for this?" Damon shook his head in question.

"If I can't have her, then Parker shouldn't either. She'll leave him when she realizes he can't help her. I'll just keep going until she breaks."

"We can't let you do this," Stefan started to grab Enzo's shirt when Enzo vampire sped behind him and snapped his neck.

"Now what? Are you going to try and stop me too?"

Damon bit his lip and grimaced at his words. Enzo had been in love with Y/N's doppelganger long ago. This fact that she was a doppelganger was unknown to her and the Salvatores had hoped to keep it that way. But with Enzo's new fury and determination to have her, things could be taking a turn for the worst. Without another word, Enzo stormed out of the house leaving a dead Stefan and a conflicted Damon. A few hours later Stefan woke up to find Damon sitting by the fireplace in his chair drinking his favorite bourbon.

"Augh" Stefan groaned, "Did you stop him?"

Damon remained stoic for a minute before responding, "No. I froze. He used to be my only friend." He swirled his drink looking down into it for answers.

"I get that he used to be your friend, I do. But we can't let him do this to Kai and Y/N. It's not fair. So you need to help me and our friends come up with a plan to stop him."

Damon furrowed his eyebrows and looked up, "Okay."

--------------At your apartment-----------

Enzo had been watching your apartment for a while now. Waiting for the man he so despised to leave and give you two time alone. At long last, Kai stepped out into the crisp night and headed off into the darkness. Waiting until he was clear out of sight, Enzo stepped out of his car adjusting his shirt and pulling the lively bouquet of flowers out.

"Ding dong," Enzo called out, knocking on your front door.

You creaked the door open slightly to see who it was, the door chain stopping you from opening it much further.

"Who are you?" You raised your eyebrow. Kai had told you not to let anyone in while he was out getting more blood bags.

"My name is Lorenzo St. John but you can call me Enzo." He smiled.

"Okay Enzo...And what brings you to my apartment?"

"Well darling, I thought it was time we were properly introduced. Do you mind if I come in?"

"Okay..." you said hesitantly. You closed the door to slide the latch over and opening it slowly, allowed Enzo to stride in like a gentleman.

"I brought you flowers," he held them out for you to grab.

You smiled at him with a curious look in your eyes, "Thanks. I'll go put these in a vase."

He followed you to the kitchen, looking around and taking in all that was your apartment. Digging around under the sink you finally found the curvy glass vase that you always wanted to use. Your anxiety started to build. Why is Kai taking so long? He should be back by now. Something about Enzo seemed off to you and you prayed that Kai would be home soon to help you deal with the charming stranger. You were itching to reach for you phone on the side table but knew that if Enzo suspected something was up then he might do something rash. Turning to face him you crossed your arms to find him seated comfortably at your table. A little too comfortably.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Do you have any blood bags, love?"

"No, sorry." You smiled weakly, "My boyfriend went out to get some more."

Enzo raised his eyebrows begrudgingly, of course you would mention your boyfriend. "I'll take a beer then."

"Sure thing." He rolled his eye as you turned to the fridge.

Speeding up behind you, he grabbed you around the throat and whispered, "Sorry about this, love." All went black.

When Kai arrived home he found the front door open. Panic rose in his chest as he yelled out for you.

"Y/N! Y/N?! Princess this isn't funny, where are you?"

Walking into the kitchen he found the fridge door wide open. He shoved the grocery bag full of blood bags in a shut it quickly. Speeding around, he checked the entire house but you were no where to be found. He ran his hands through his hair and that's when the vase caught his eye. A vase full of fresh flowers and a note attached.

For the most beautiful of all flowers and with much adoration,

Love, Enzo

Growling, Kai crumpled the note in his hand. He was going to rip this man to shreds when he found him. No one gets to take you from him. You were his and his alone.

----------------------------------------------------------------

@ellaoleck @rome5683 @sxturn-stars @1-800-khaleesii @imagine-that @genevivetaylor

[empactivating]

“It was just a dream!”

wake her from a nightmare || accepting

      DESPITE THE FACE SHE WEARS on a daily basis – the one that held no fear even in the very face of terrifying things watching her every little move – she has fears, she has things in her past that come back to haunt her dreams every so often on bad days. there’s plenty: the Eye spotting her again, being caught by talon as she skirts the line of playing allegiance to the organisation, being tossed in prison – or worse.

       she’d never admit any of this to those not extremely close to her – && she never usually lets anyone in, afraid to break her walls down even a little as no one can be trusted.

      so she’s woken from her nightmare – walls crashing down around her, suffocating her – with a gasp as she becomes aware of her surroundings in the waking world that equally doesn’t give a damn about her aside from her usefulness. this guy, however, he didn’t belong in talon – he was too kind, caring. she always wondered if they had something on him – why would he ever stay if they didn’t?

      she wants to say thank you – for waking her from what she didn’t want to keep sleeping through – but nothing but the look behind violet eyes expresses that && she hopes he picks it up on his own despite the words she quietly barks out ( though her heart isn’t quite in her tone – something softer than usual, something tired && small for once ).

      ❝ ugh. how did you get in my room, nero? ❞

[fafnir-the-golden-dragon-blog]

Super depressing fic thing idk

Matsuda was an idiot. Well, at least he thought he was. But that wasn't exactly his fault. Throughout his life, everyone from his parents to his coworkers called him an idiot. They always repeated that same, nauseating phrase: "Matsuda you idiot!" Those words always made his stomach churn with anxiety, especially when they came from his boss. He wanted so desperately to be able to impress L, but that wasn't what led him to sprint over to the Yotsuba head office. Sure, he wanted to get some useful information, but that wasn't his sole purpose. No, his sole purpose was to get caught. To die. But at least he'd give them some valuable information before his death, he was determined to be useful before he died. So there he was, he had just been caught eavesdropping by the Yotsuba group, and he knew his death was coming soon. He pretended to be alarmed, but really, he wasn't scared. He was calm. He was glad that he would finally be out of everyone's way. Once he was dead, he'd no longer be a burden. His phone rang. Ryuzaki. He spoke to them briefly, signaling to them that he was in trouble. It was going exactly the way he'd planned. Matsuda knew that Ryuzaki would suggest that he has to die in front of the Yotsuba group in order to avoid them killing him. He had been right. They suggested the idea when he had run off to call them in a bathroom, though he was having some trouble feigning panic when he was so eager to get it over with. And so, the plan was set into motion. He pretended to be drunk, walking unsteadily through one of Misa-Misa's rooms, towards a window with a balcony. He knew that Soichiro and Mogi were a few floors down holding a mattress to catch him, so in order for his plan to work, he realized that would have to "mess up" before he was supposed to. And so, he opened the doors. "Now, it's what you've all been waiting for! The Taro Matsui show!" Matsuda exclaimed, his excitement matching that of his fake drunken voice. With that same odd grin on his face, Matsuda approached the balcony, climbing up onto it. He was ready. He was going to die. 'I hope this information was of use to them,' he thought, as he hoisted himself up onto his hands, legs in the air in a perfect handstand. He saw the mattress, and before it could extend to catch him, he threw himself off. He faintly heard Soichiro and Mogi's shouts as he fell quickly toward the pavement. 'I hope I was finally useful.' And then he hit the pavement. Everything went black.

Soichiro and Mogi rushed down to the ground level the second they saw Matsuda falling past the mattress. They hadn't caught him. He was most likely dead. When they arrived, they called an ambulance, the one that was supposed to carry away Aiber dressed as Matsuda. When it arrived, L and Light rushed out to see Matsuda sprawled out on the pavement. "Dad, what happened?" Light asked worriedly. Soichiro didn't speak, he only picked up Matsuda's lifeless body, and carried him into the ambulance. Once he was in he shouted back at Mogi. "Call Aizawa and tell him what happened." Mogi nodded, and Soichiro thought he saw tears on the usually calm man's face. Light and Soichiro sped off towards a hospital, with a most likely dead Matsuda in the ambulance. Soichiro had never thought that Matsuda was as depressed as he had been. But there he was, next to Matsuda's dead body in a hospital bed, with a note in his hands found in the man's pocket that explained everything. He had never felt so empty, so angry, so........broken. Matsuda had been like a son to him, and to see his lifeless body, his life taken by his own hands was something that Soichiro almost couldn't stand.

The funeral was small. Not many people showed up, only the task force and Yagami family. Soichiro stood, hugging Sayu and Sachiko who were crying profusely, holding the crumpled and tear stained note in their hands. And then, it started to rain. The rain drenched the note, smearing the sloppy handwriting that could only belong to Matsuda. Soichiro wiped the tears from his eyes, kneeling in front of the small gravestone that belonged to Touta Matsuda.     Touta Matsuda   He was a hero who others wrongly thought an idiot   1978-2003    May he Rest In Peace knowing that his contribution will help catch Kira Soichiro felt fresh tears fall from his eyes upon reading the stone. 'Of coarse he's only seen as a hero because he's dead.' He placed the note in front of the stone. 'I always thought you were Matsuda.' And with that, he stood and left with the rest of his grieving family.

Dear everyone,

  I'm sorry I haven't been able to be useful. I know I'm not as smart as you all wanted me to be, but I really did try, I promise. I doubt any of you will see my death as too much of a bad thing, but I hope it doesn't cause any of you any more trouble than I did when alive. I hope  the information I gathered will be useful to you in the long run. I hope this will make things easier for you. I know if I stuck around I'd just be even more of a pain y'know? It was for the best. I hope the case runs smoothly now that I'm gone.

With love,  Touta Matsuda

  L held the soaked note in a trembling hand, bowing their head to the gravestone before them. They placed a hand on the stone, which was cold with rain and death. Watari stood behind them with a gentle hand in their shoulder. They wiped some of the rain from the front of the stone as if it were tears. "I'm sorry I called you an idiot. You're not. We were all wrong to do this to you. You were such a kind man, and I'm not just saying it because you're dead," they said softly, as if only to let the cold stone hear them. They sighed and stood. "For what it's worth, I never really thought you were an idiot." And then they left, soaked note still in hand.

A/N: Woa, this hurt me to write. Also, this isn't meant to be snippy, I just,,,,,imma slut for L showing emotion lmao. Hope y'all like this serving of suffering ;)

[otherwiseromantic]

soulmate au

ouhhhhhhhhhhhhh think im gonna go with a B for this one..... like there is a good amount of potential and if its done well its delicious but mmmmmmm it can also feel very forced sometimes??? i like when it causes angst tho :) or defying fate........... OR SOMETIMES ITS JUST NICE TO HAVE HAPPY THINGS YKNOW!! hm. honestly what gets me is like....what the "soulmate determining system" is. because if it's simple and makes sense then like yeah im into it but ESPECIALLY when u start adding like. ok honestly like homophobia into the mix it gets tricky bc then i'll start overthinking bc baseline theres these 2 aspects of ur world that don't line up????? like if soulmates have always been a thing in this universe then what reason do people have to be upset by other peoples attraction ??? ok like blah blah its not a choice anyways but like especially if it's physically marked on u or something and thats established as normal how r people gonna question that????? idk maybe i think too much

send me tropes!!!!

[elasianstar]

R #13 Accidental anger (Angst fic)

“I think I want to try for a degree in physics and mechanical engineering, oh but chemistry….”

“I can get you all the necessary paperwork Don, it'll be pushing it but we might be able to even get you in for the fall semester. You just have to decide on a major.”

“But there are so many choices! Physics, mathematics, engineering, psychology, chemistry… I can't choose!”

“Well can you narrow it down to your top 3? A double major and a minor is doable in 5-6 years if they're all in similar disciplines.”

“Ok, I think I'll stick with physics and engineering…. And a minor in inorganic chemistry.”

“Are you sure?”

“mmmmmmm! Yeah just put it down before I change my mind again. I can't believe you got me in, I'm going to be an actual college student!”

“Yep, as soon as we send these enrollment papers in and get your classes finalized you will be an official Columbia college Cougar.”

From where I stood in the tunnel outside the lab I heard it all.

I couldn't believe it, Donnie was going off to college with Elasia in the fall…

That evening Elasia’s POV

Raph has been acting really strange today, I mean not entirely out of the ordinary, but I haven't seen the red banded brother this irritable in months. He was stalking around the lair and bouncing from thing to thing in an attempt to keep himself in check, beating the snot out of his training dummy, cleaning random spaces, he even started knitting after a bit but his restless mind wouldn't let him relax. I tried approaching him to see what was wrong but he just brushed me off without a glance.

“Don't worry, Raph just gets like this sometimes, let him work off the steam and he’ll be fine. This is nothing like the explosions we endured as kids, Raph was a real live wire back then. This is most likely nothing that won't blow over.”

“I don't know Leo, I've never seen him quite this steamed, not even at you. He's been so good at keeping himself in check recently, he's been so proud of his self control. This isn't normal, something is wrong and I know it.”

“Guys! Fajitas are ready!!!”

Mikey's voice brought us all running to the kitchen, the chaos of flying plates being caught and the chatter between the brothers feeling normal and comfortable compared to the funk of the rest of the night. Then Raph made it to the kitchen and the atmosphere chilled almost instantly as he roughly snagged a plate and plopped into his normal spot on the bench between me and Mikey. He didn't make eye contact or even spare a kind word just started serving his portion of food and eating in a fuming silence. The others acted like nothing was wrong and soon the usual chatter started back up.

“And I helped this old lady with eyes all over move a futon we found out at the dump into her apartment. I think her name was Sicily if I remember right, her son is coming home from serving with the coast guard soon and she needed to set up a place for him to stay until he could get situated. She was really nice, afterwards she brought out homemade cookies and showed me a few of their old photo albums.”

Mikey was chattering away, he's been so much happier since he started volunteering at the small mythic community. His eyes were brighter and he seemed more willing to express himself.

“The scrappers are treated like heroes over in the compound, I don't see why you guys don't stop in and help out some time.”

Leo smiled a bit between bites of the delicious roasted peppers the younger had prepared, gesturing with his fork as he talked.

“Things are going pretty good at the market actually, selling my extra fresh produce is working out. I even have a few return customers, there's this older guy with hooves, Devin, who comes up every week from new Jersey. He cleans me out of hot peppers every time I take some down. I can't believe we lived down here our whole lives and never knew they were over there. Feels good to actually help people who are like us, who can look at us without seeing a bunch of freaks.”

“Oh and Don, your gadgets are actually selling pretty well. The kids love your little tin toys. You could start up your own shop and do nicely, or I bet I could convince Tobias to set up a little section for your stuff at the toy counter in his shop.”

“I might actually consider that Leo, making them does give me a nice break from upgrading our stuff and my lab projects.”

“what's the point.”

Raph's comment was almost too quiet to hear as he shoved off from the table.

“What's that all about Raph?”

“I said what's the Damn Point! You'll just end up leaving and then what! You'll be too busy with your stupid degrees to do anything else!!!”

His plate went whizzing past Donnie’s head and crashed into jagged shards that littered the floor. Something broke in behind Donnie’s eyes and soon he was launching himself over the table to get in his larger brothers face. Bo staff caught between twin sai as they struggled against eachother.

“Well sorry if I want my chance to better myself! You know more than anybody that I've always wanted This, to actually have a chance to be a part of the scientific community!”

“Well whoop de fuckin do! Donnie’s the smart one, he's going to make something of himself!”

Raph managed to throw Don away, his sai still buried in Don’s staff. But his anger was growing, all his wards were down and his eyes glazed over white as he lost himself.

“IS WHAT WE DO NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU DONATELLO, HUH! IS PROTECTIN PEOPLE AND HELPIN PEOPLE TOO DEMEANIN FOR MR. EINSTEIN! YOU'VE GOTTA ABANDON YOUR BROTHERS TO BE HAPPY HUH!”

“Raph honey calm down no body is…”

“DON'T YOU OPEN YOUR SLY CONIVIN LITTLE MOUTH! YOU WERE FUCKIN IN ON IT! I HEARD YOU! IT WASN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU TO JUST LEAVE, YOU HAD TO TAKE MY BROTHER AWAY TOO! GET YOUR HANDS OFFA ME!”

“He flung me of of his arm like i weighed nothing, sending me flying across the kitchen to crash against the steel cabinet. I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and warmth running down my chest from where the edge of the cabinet had bitten into my flesh. I couldn't process anything else in that moment, he actually hurt me.

“DON'T YOU DARE TREAT HER LIKE THAT!”

Mikey swung on his older brother, his smaller form not allowing him to do much more than further anger his behemoth of a sibling when his punch glanced off Raphael's jaw. A whirlwind picked up, grabbing heavy iron cookware and flinging it at Raph in an attempt to fight him off as the enraged turtle charged the perceived attacker. Mikey's arm was caught in the larger’s grasp and a harsh pop was heard as his shoulder was wrenched out of place and he was tossed to land beside me on the floor.

“RAPH COOL IT. YOU'RE HURTING YOUR FAMILY, IS THIS REALLY WORTH IT? WE CAN TALK THIS OUT!”

Raphael was past getting loud, his anger turning his voice to embers, a low crackle to match the fury in his eyes. He had his oldest brother pinned high up to the kitchen wall, trying to fight back would only lead to more injuries.

“You were in on it to werentcha Leo? Sendin MY brother away. you never thought Don was a good enough fighter, drove him to spendin all his time in that damn lab to try and earn your approval. Now you're sending him away and he's never gonna come back.”

Raph's scales were starting to glow with heat, the edges turning black as the air around him started to shimmer like the mirage over the highway in summer. Tongues of flame started to flick over his fingers, climbing the thick columns of his arms as he reached for his eldest brother's throat.

“ENOUGH!”

Donnie’s voice shook the lair like an earthquake, causing a shower of dust to overtake his brothers flame, and smother the oxygen from him. The sound of the two falling to the floor and Leo’s harsh coughing gasps signalling for Donnie to stop.

When the dust cleared, the level of chaos became extremely apparent. Mikey was trying to use the counter to push his shoulder back in, my own blood had stained the floor as more seeped from the deep gash in my shoulder and I was sure my collar bone was broken. Kitchen utensils were embedded in the wall and a thick layer of dust covered everything. Leo was regaining his breath in the corner, burns in the shape of Raph's hand and forearm across his chest and shoulder. In the middle of it all was Donnie, on his knees looking absolutely shell shocked. His glasses were missing and blood trickled from the side of his head where he had been struck as Raph charged Mikey. He had Raph’s head in his lap and he was wiping the dust off of his unconscious brother’s face as he checked to make sure he was breathing.

“this is all my fault…”

Stopping the flow of blood i hauled myself up off the floor with my left arm just as Mikey managed to snap his shoulder back in. A small whisper of pain the only sound in the room as he approached his brother with cold yet worried eyes.

“No Don, this is as much my fault as it is yours. But I don't understand what the problem was.”

By now Leo had gotten himself up off the floor and was helping Donnie haul Raphael's limp body to the needle room.

“Whatever it was I think the two of you owe us all an explanation. But after we get everyone patched up. Elasia, do you think you've got it in you to help out?”

My calm mask wasn't fooling anybody, my ankles were shaking and I was holding my arm funny to ward off the pain in my shoulder.

“Yeah but I'll need Mikey to go get one of the bags in my fridge upstairs. Do you think you can manage it MC?”

“Y-yeah, but why?”

“Don't question it, just go get it please.”

Donnie’s wounds were the most troubling so I tended to him first. Having Leo check to see if his skull was cracked from the blow while I checked his eyes for sign of concussion and readied the disinfectant.

“Here, I don't know why you needed this but…”

Biting into the bag I ripped off the corner and drained the entire contents in front of all of them, sighing when the quick release of energy flowed into my shoulder to repair the broken bone.

“Works faster than solids, I needed the energy to heal myself before I could help any of you. Couldn't wait the three days for the bone to re-fuse. Now Donnie hold still, this is going to sting like a big bitch but I have to clean the wound before it's healed.”

Pouring a thin stream of disinfectant over the wound to wash out any dirt Donnie just set there, staring at the turtle charm hanging around my neck as I dabbed clean gauze over the wound before sealing the flesh in gold light.

“Mikey are you ok?”

“Yeah, just a little sore but I think my arm is ok.”

“Could you try and find Donnie’s glasses? Come on Don let's get you laid down, try and close your eyes for a bit. Get calmed down.”

Mikey left to find Donnies specs as i moved on to help Leo. His burns weren't severe enough to warrant an emergency but he had to get cleaned up soon or risk infection. His plastron was discolored and he had several blisters along his shoulder and forearms.

“I have to wash the hide before I drain the pustules.”

“Just do it. I can handle a little pain Ane.”

The cleaning cloth accidentally popped one of the larger blisters while I was cleaning and Leo gripped my free arm to steady himself. His grip got stronger as I lanced each obtrusion to his hide and flushed the whole area with anesthetic. I would surely have a bruise for a few minutes, but what was another bruise. What was another scar.

Mikey returned with Donnie’s glasses, miraculously without damage and I had him help both of his brothers to their quarters to let their bodies continue healing on their own. Now to deal with Raph.

There were no burns to deal with, just a few superficial cuts to be cleaned. He was breathing fine and a dark bruise was forming on the side of his head where he had been struck with a chunk of concrete. I cleaned him up and left him there to heal. Keeping my emotions controlled and sterile until the boys had left the room.

I placed my hand over Raph's chest, feeling the familiar tug of our bond as I drew his energy from his body. As it coalesced into its solid form I cupped the softball sized soul in my hands. The surface of it blazed with fire but it did not burn me, it refused to hurt me. I felt my chest tighten and my throat swell as I dropped the thing back into his body and turned to face the mirror. The cracked glass obscured my figure somewhat but there was no missing the new scar slashed cleanly across my shoulder. The edges of the tight silver flesh were pink, signs of my body fighting an infection due to the wound being sealed uncleaned. My skin was covered in coagulated blood, flecks of gold making the macabre sight seem alien in the flickering fluorescent light. My eyes were blown out gold and my teeth were sharp, body wound tight and ready to fight. Though I had been unable to land one blow against him to protect my friends, he had flung me without a second thought

I leaned my forehead against the shattered mirror and just stared back into my own eyes for a while. I didn't move, I tried not to think, i just let my mind and my emotions run their course until I was too exhausted to hold back anymore. My eyes welled with tears and my knees gave out as I fell to the floor. For the second time in as many hours I couldn't move of my own volition, my body just sitting there, rocking back and forth as I was forced to stare at my pathetic self in the mirror.

“You call yourself a warrior, but you didn't even try and do anything. You could have shut it all down but you just sat there and watched. You're pathetic, you're weak and spineless, you don't deserve to carry their name. You aren't the Elasia, that mark on your arm holds as little value as you do. You're nothing but a coward, a guinea pig, a worthless animal. J.4.2.2. J.4.2.2 J.4.2.2. J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2

J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2.J.4.2.2…..”

I didn't feel the hands on my shoulder, I heard voices, but they sounded far away, through deep water. In a different time, past heart rate monitors, past the whirring of drills and saws, past dripping IV’s that made my blood run thick in my veins and my lungs heavy with fluid.

“Elaaaaaa…...elasiiiiiii….Elasia!....JAZZ!”

J.4.2.2

I started breathing again, my eyes wide with panic as my body thrashed and clawed at my binds, thick leather wrapped tightly around my wrists and waist holding me in place. Unable to fight, unable to protect those who looked up at me through thick iron bars. Wide innocent child's eyes, bright blue…

I came around to bright blue eyes filled with tears, to a bear hug squeezing me tight.

“Come on Elasia, Jazz, wake up please. Come on..”

“lemme go.”

The words passed my lips as a hoarse whisper but they felt like panic. My body moving to scramble away from my binds despite the hurt look on my friend’s face.

My vision cleared as I allowed myself to breath, the smell of antiseptic fueling my fearful visions never leaving but being overtaken by visions of my friends as they watched over me from a short distance.

“What's happening, what's wrong jazzycakes?”

The green souled one put his hand on the blue eyed one’s shoulder.

“Panic attack Mikey, just let her breath.”

Mikey, Don, Leo, …., My friends, safety, home.

My heart rate slowed and I was able to get up off my knees and forearms to sit comfortably again. Mikey slowly got closer and I held out my arm for a hug. Safe, my friend, I was safe.

“Mikey….”

“Yeah Elasia, it's Mikey. I'm right here.”

“Donnie, Leo.”

They moved as if they had been holding their breath, moving closer to comfort me as well. One hand on each of my shoulders. I was crying again, little hiccup skene sounds bouncing out of my fluttering ribcage.

“I did nothing, i couldn't protect anyone. I, I, I…”

“You did nothing wrong, things just got out of control. It was all a massive misunderstanding. Donnie explained everything.”

“Leo?”

“Yeah?”

My face must have said what I meant because I couldn't find the word. I felt his hand tighten slightly around my shoulder for a moment, a small twinge in my collarbone helping bring me back to clarity.

“You're welcome. Sis.”

It was then that the sound of coughing from the cot across the room caught all of our attention. Donnie and Leo left to take care of the issue, leaving me with Mikey as he continued to stroke my wings to keep me calm and grounded.

“Raphael.”

“Yeah sounds like he's finally woke up, perfect timing as usual.”

Mikey sounded less than pleased as we listened to the conversation behind the curtain.

“How bad was it?”

“You dislocated Mikey’s shoulder, threw Elasia across the room, almost gave Don a concussion, and I'm wrapped up with 2nd degree burns. How bad do you think it was.”

“I'm sorry Leo, I don't know what came over me I just…”

“Its nothing we haven't gotten through before, wounds heal. No permanent damage was done.”

“You didn't tell me what happened to Elasia. Is she alright? I didn't hurt her did I?!”

“Raphael, sit down.”

“No I want to see her. I have to see her!”

“She is in no state of mind to see you.”

It got really quiet. Raph’s voice getting more dejected.

“What happened.”

“We think she had a panic attack, she wasn't breathing when we found her. When we got her around she kept mumbling a string of code on rapid repeat looking like she was lost in another world.”

“J.4.2.2.”

“Yes, what does it mean. We have to help her... without you.”

…

“It's her identification code, her name JAZZ, from when she was a child. She was kidnapped, taken to a lab. Held there for years, they did things to her. I'm not telling you any more without her, I promised.”

“We still need to know how to help her, Elasia is our friend too.”

“There's really nothing you can do, just don't leave her alone with her thoughts until she gets back to normal.”

“Hey, Leo.”

…

“How bad is she? I don't remember much past Don coming over the table at me.”

“You broke her collarbone and sliced her up pretty bad, but she's resilient. She patched us up, all of us.”

When they came back around the privacy curtains I was standing, my hair rebraided and my skin washed as well as I could manage in the needle room sink.

“How is he doing?”

“He’ll live. But for now I think it's best things stay a little distanced between you two. Go on with Mikey, He’ll help you get fixed up and help you keep your mind off things while Don and I straighten this out.”

Once we got most of the way down the hall I heard the fighting start, no screaming like last time but the tenor of their angry voices echoing down the corridor had me shaking slightly.

“Come on jazzycakes, let's finish getting you cleaned up. Then we can play some Spyro while you get back to normal.”

“Thanks Mikey.”

“Hey you did the same for me when that hurricane blew through the city. I've got your back girl.”

…

That night after I'd gotten tucked into bed I heard a light knock on the door.

“Come in.”

It took a minute but the door creaked open slow and Raph stepped through. His bandana was wrung between his hands and his eyes were on the floor. i could see the edge of Leo’s shell around the edge of the doorway. he was obviously behind Raph’s sudden burst of apologetic courage.

“I said come In Raphael.”

He just nodded, closing the door behind himself before sitting in the chair by the bed.

“Are you not going to look at me?”

“I don't want to see the damage I've caused.”

“Then leave, because living stuck in the past is no way to spend an eternity. We must all learn to move past our mistakes and better ourselves for the ones we love.”

He lifted his head and I could see that one of his eyes was nearly swelled shut. A big purple bruise taking up the entire side of his face from his temple to his jaw. His good eye was puffy from tears.

“Tell me Raphael, what damage do you see?”

“You've got a new scar.”

“Yes and on this body what is another scar.”

“You're favoring your left arm.”

“I am still sore, my collar bone was snapped. But it’s whole now, the pain will have completely faded by morning.”

“Your eyes are cold. I can feel mistrust like slime running under my shell. I hate it. I hate that i made you feel like this.”

“Then know it and just realize the consequences of your actions. Learn to talk to someone instead of stewing in your own mind and letting a situation spiral out of control. I don't believe Donatello enrolling in an online program with a few supplementary night courses demanded the events that transpired earlier today.”

“No it didn't, i’m sorry. I feel sick, I can't even bare to be alone with my own thoughts knowing I hurt you the way I did. If there's any way I can earn your forgiveness…”

“Raphael… Raph, baby. There is no forgiveness to be earned, it is already given. I know in your soul that you would have never intended to hurt me had you been in your right mind. Yes trust may become bruised, but it heals quite easily in the right circumstance.”

A choked sob broke from his throat as he reached for me, only to stop himself, harshly withdrawing in fear his advance would be unwelcome. 

“Raph, hun. set up here on the edge of the bed next to me.”

He moved like anything he touched could shatter in an instant, his hands still wringing the fabric of his bandana. I reached out and touched one of his hands, causing him to completely freeze. He hardly even breathed.    

Taking his hand in both of my own I moved it back and forth in my grasp, running my fingertips over the uniquely shaped bone structure and tracing the lines in his palm. I did this a lot when we were alone together and it helped soothe both of us. There were no blocks now, everything was shared between our bonded souls. When I was content I took his hand again and held it to the side of my face. it nearly enveloped my skull in its breadth and the hide was rough and battle worn, but it felt cool and safe against my skin. His eye shifted from his hand to my own face as we simply held eachothers gaze for a moment. From there i felt him trace over my new scar, fingertips grazing from the crest of my shoulder nearly to the upper swell of my breast and back. My own hand having slid down his arm to trace over his bruised face.

“Scars are nothing more than marks of trials you were stronger than.”

My hand grew warm as the energy flowed between our skin, restoring his eyesight on his right side but no more. After some time we both withdrew, hands tucked into laps and words left unsaid to hang in the mindspace unneeded. We knew what the other was thinking, the looks on our faces and the emotions flowing along our bond were more than enough.

“I had better let you get some sleep.”

“Yeah rest does sound pretty good after such a stressing day.”

He stood to leave but before he could turn the handle of the door I spoke.

“Did I say you could leave?”

“No ma’am.”

“Red….”

“Yeah?”

“Get your scaley ass in this bed before I have to get up and drag you over here myself.”

Without another word he climbed up into the bed, resting on his plastron as I tucked myself against his side to lie on my own stomach. The feeling of his arm draped over my lower back was safe, nothing could harm me like this and even our minds lay still. His breath slowed to the rhythm of sleep and I wiggled upward to be on the same level as his head. Gently pressing a kiss to his bruised temple I whispered in his ear before falling asleep.

“Even though I may leave your side, I'm never gone from you. I promise.”

[sundial-girl]

🌹 for King Dice. :)

vIV HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME DO YOU NOT KNOW GEOMETRICAL FIGURES ARE ONE OF MY MANY WEAKNESSES IN DRAWING- //shot

hahaaa, jokes aside though, mMMmMMM just taking a moment to say i fUCKING LOVE THE CONCEPT OF HANAHAKI DISEASE, HUKEDHGKE

a friend told me about it way earlier this year when i showed her one of my ocs that had a flower motif, and i loVED IT but then i fORGOT THE NAME FOR IT, and then in like october I REDISCOVERED IT AND I WAS SO HAPPY

m a n its totally a canon thing in the weird universe/s that my stories take place in and stuff, and i made way-too extensive headcanons on the disease and such that’ll i’ll post sometime in the future but for now, mY APOLOGIES FOR MAKING THIS TOO LONG, ONTO THE DRAWING:

🌹 - hanahaki disease

“black roses often symbolize sadness and farewell—and in this case that seems to be your farewell!”

i’m very shitty at drawing the dice man so that may be my fault, rip

oH MAN THIS GIVE ME HELL but the colorS ARE NICE HERE AAAA

purple is such a gud color oml

and hHH COLORS IN GENERAL ARE MY THING, THIS IS WHY I DONT REALLY HAVE A “FAVORITE” COLOR WHEN PEOPLE ASK

but aside from that, h M Mhmm, interesting challenge here! i wasn’t sure what exactly to do, especially considering my own hanahaki headcanons, but here i just sorta “meh”d and went with black roses for him cause black and purple go well???? idk, color logic

black roses are fucking l i t guys

its  *:･ﾟ✧ ae s t he ti c *:･ﾟ✧

haha, ignore me, its going to be midnight over here so that’s probably why i’m starting to become loopy

–

remember kiddos, if you want some more of this Delicious Angst™™™, feel free to ask!

it may be a little delayed but i’ll try and do it! ; v ;

[senren]

hi senpai! what are your recommendations for skk and fyoya fics? love your blog!

OKAY IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH AGAIN RUBS HANDS HERE WE GO

I’ve already made 2 fic rec posts HERE and HERE but because I lurk like a loser here are some more recs:

- Anything and everything by Kuranoa. Hands down one of the best fyoya + skk combi writers in my book, really lovely humor but when she angsts it smashes you until you’re a pile of dust and you hate yourself but you keep reading. And my god her Chuuya is badass adorable. 

- Anything by Memos. Not even gonna lie I cry over her nsfw at least 30 times a day then cry some more in the bathroom then cry some more before I go to bed because her fics are just that good. 

- Anything by AnonLearnsToWrite. Their humour is grade S excellent I laugh everytime, it’s really so on point and their plots are so damn precious and I really love their characterizations of Dazai. But can they please update Three’s a crowd because I’m dying. 

- Anything by writingfromtheshadows. Especially if you’re a fan of mafia boss Dazai and badass Chuuya. The ust can drive you nut at times but they do compensate with... several pieces of delicious nsfw and generally I just want more but pls stop killing me with the ust.

- At this point, deep sighs, sells soul to devil, anything by Kibasix. But everyone and their fifth removed cousins know I’m blatantly a Kibasix fangirl so what else is new really. 

- All the skk fics by WhisperingWinds99 because I’m kind of a loser and haven’t really read their sskk ones. BUT THEIR FICS ARE REALLY ADORABLE AND PRECIOUS AND IT SOOTHES MY SOUL EVERYTIME MY FLUFFY ANGEL AMONG ALL OF YOU ANGSTY DEVILS. 

- I generally really love hitherelovely’s fics because mmmmmmm their Dazai is delicious and just KDSJFHAKJFHAKF FANS SELF but their themes might be a bit heavy for some of you so this is a rec but rec with caution please read tags carefully before proceeding.

- Noir. This fic is one of the rare instances where I have to say that the portrayal of Chuuya is perfect. It explores his relationships with other characters in such a good way that it makes everything in my soul hurt. And the realistic ending of it makes me cry all the way until this day. Please. For the love of God. Read it.   

- Touch me. AKA THAT ONE TEACHER! DAZAI/MILITARY!CHUUYA THAT I FINALLY GOT HOLY SHIT INCOHERENT KEYBOARD SLAM. Very detailed setting, Chuuya is the cutest, Dazai is a little shit just like how I want him to be, and the smut... oooooh boooooooy. I’ve already recced her in my last posts and there’s a sequel in progress as well so tbh just check out her profile. 

- A Spring Without You is Coming. Aka that one fic that made me curse three times in the span of 2 minutes 48 seconds because WOW WHO AUTHORIZED THAT HOW DARE  YOU WHAT THE FUCK. No seriously what the fuck. What. Who hurt you.

- Mommy Is Daddy's Only! THIS ONE HAS BABY SKK AND IT’S REALLY CUTE AND IT ALSO HAS FYOYA AND TACHUU IN IT SO HELL YEAH. Or you can just read it solely for Akutagawa throwing his milk bottle in Fyodor’s face.

- 1893. Oh my god. Dazai’s POV in this. I’m just. I have no words. Actually I have one word. Gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. Wow that’s 3 words but okay it’s so good it would deserve 3 thousand words but I’m just mostly speechless.

- Eight time’s the charm. Ever feel like being cockblocked? Then cockblocked some more? Then cry because you got so cockblocked you don’t know what to do? This is just the right fic for you. Just. Trust me. Go for it. 

- The Courtesan. Let’s see. You have Fyoya and SKK. You have courtesan Chuuya (whisper through gritted teeth yes holy shit). You have your one and only Moulin Rouge AU. And the writing is gorgeous. Need I say more chop chop get on it but BRACE YOURSELF FOR THE FRIGGIN PAIN BECAUSE MOULIN ROUGE.