#mlcb spoilers

[eirenical]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook | Lian Hua Lou | 莲花楼 | Episode 13

"Li Xiangyi wasn't always right. I'm older than you. I've heard a lot about him. When he was young, he was very petulant. The downfall of the Sigu Sect was partly his fault." -Li Lianhua on Li Xiangyi, Mysterious Lotus Casebook Episode 19

[Do not repost. Do not remove caption. Thank you!]

Bonus:

You know the drill (or maybe you don't if you're new? *waves*)… all my thoughts and images descriptions behind the cut:

[Above the text are five gifs depicting a mildly heated conversation between Li LIanhua and Fang Duobing from episode 13 of Mysterious Lotus Casebook. Li Lianhua has just revealed that "A-Fei" is Di Feisheng, the leader of the Jinyuan Alliance. Fang Duobing is upset and demands to know what Li Lianhua could have to do with him. Li Lianhua explains that Di Feisheng wants him to save someone, but that Li Lianhua doesn't want to save this person. Fang Duobing goes on to say that Li Lianhua shouldn't save this person, because he must be a bad person if Di Feisheng wants him saved. Li Lianhua agrees that this person is a bad person and that he won't save him, that it's more important to save Fang Duobing now. Bonus gifs show Fang Duobing protesting that he is talented and might have felt a bit funny before but he's fine now... and then promptly passes out. Li Lianhua rushes to his side.]

First of all, the entirely of episode 13 drove me completely feral in so many ways I still can't put it concisely into words. But the core of it sits right here in this exchange. There is so much evidence in the first 12 episodes that Li Lianhua doesn't really care if he lives or dies or, at the very least, that he's resigned himself to dying, but this is the first time we see him say outright that not only doesn't he care if he dies, but that he, in fact, WANTS to die.

"He asked me to promise him to save someone. [...] There are people in this world who can only be saved by me. Unfortunately, I don't want to save them."

After this episode, we know that there is only one person that Di Feisheng wants to save. And that's Li Xiangyi. And here he is admitting out loud that he doesn't want to be saved. That he wants to die. And moments later, he agrees with Fang Duobing that this person Di Feisheng wants saved is a bad person. That he is a bad person. And you can see it in his face that he wholeheartedly believes it. He's said as much before. Every time he talks to Fang Duobing about Li Xiangyi, he paints him in the worst light possible. Everyone else gets the benefit of the doubt in his stories, except himself.

His self esteem is in the toilet, he blames himself for most of the things that went wrong 10 years ago, and he actively wants to die.

And that paints Di Feisheng's desperate need to save his life and Fang Duobing's equally desperate need to save Li Xiangyi's character and legacy in such a poignant light. They both want to save him in their own ways, but Li Lianhua is right: the only person who CAN save him is himself. Because without that will to live, without that willingness to forgive himself, then no matter what either of them does, he isn't going to go along with it.

But the thing that really truly breaks me in all this is that IT STARTS TO WORK.

Just a few episodes after this, Di Feisheng steps in to save his secret identity, all but begging Li Lianhua to let him help, and Li Lianhua AGREES. And in the aftermath, when he's suffering, Di Feisheng steps in to feed him spiritual energy to heal him in whatever small way he can against the poison and Li Lianhua allows that, too. And you can see in so many of these little ways that his attitude is starting to shift, just a little. That maybe he's starting to entertain the idea that he could live. Because Di Feishing has enough will to live for both of them and he's not afraid to keep applying it like a baseball bad against Li Lianhua's suicidal ideation.

And then we have Fang Duobing. The quote below the gifset is from episode 19, and once again we have Li Lianhua tearing down Li XIangyi's character. But Fang Duobing isn't going to stand for that.

FDB: Someone said that to me before, but I've studied him. He should be proud of himself! LLH: There's a fine line between proud and arrogant. "Arrogant" is not a good word. FDB: He was proud because he had faith. Faith is a great word. No one is perfect. Neither was he. There are shadows wherever there is light. Yes. Maybe Li Xiangyi was too proud. But he established the Sigu Sect to make the jianghu a better place where the strong didn't prey on the weak. Look at those guys. They're just a bunch of selfish posers! LLH: If Li Xiangyi knew that someone could understand him so well ten years later, he'd be very glad.

He ALSO has enough faith for both of them. Li Xiangyi would be very glad... and Li Lianhua is very glad. You can see him in that moment, testing his weight against the possibility that maybe, just maybe, even though he wasn't perfect, he wasn't as bad as he believed himself to be. Maybe there was some good in him. Maybe it wasn't all in vain. Maybe he does deserve at least a little forgiveness.

And that push and pull between Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing should, by all rights, be acting like a tug of war to pull Li Lianhua apart. But it doesn't. It's pulling them all forward. Towards healing. Especially Li Lianhua. And he's not there yet. It's still going to take time. But the seeds of it are being planted. And we have so many more episodes still to go and I have no doubt things will go pear-shaped at some point, but to go from this *points up at gifset* to tentative healing in a matter of 6 episodes? That's huge. And I'm so happy he has them both. TT^TT

[chenqingssuibian]

so! mystery lotus casebook, episode four! i have just finished it, and may rewatch it later, but! here are my thoughts for now:

- yu hongzhu is a milf. look at her. really a worthy holder of the title madam yu after queen yu ziyuan. if yall don't start fan casting this woman as your young-yzy and writing angsty fics about her and jiang fengmian i swear to GOD I will do it myself

- they were really gonna flame broil my main man dr li. they really were. but duobing came in clutch with the. were they needles he threw to break the chains? he broke something. anyway

- speaking of li lianhua we have been graced with a new outfit. i am going to thank word of honor specifically for the new-outfits-every-episode for no other reason that i saw wen kexing do it first. and also cheng yi, because GOD does he look pretty in teal

- watching them examine the body and realize there is no Way she was only dead for a day was very funny. especially because li lianhua already suspected it and was so smug about it being confirmed

- that's the thing about li lianhua. he is a smug bitch. i cannot Wait for him to finally be surprised

- the whole murder plot is good. i like this investigation! they're following up leads! they're scrounging around! they're extracting a needle from poor qiushuang's heart!

- speaking of qiushuang's heart. there is no way she did not know her sister thought her best friend was in love with her fiancé. like... i know we never see her on screen but c'mon she can't be stupid

- and that best friend. she played a part in her murder? gut wrenching. even more gut wrenching when we realize that she was only trying to save the man she loves

- shadow puppets play a large part in this episode. I need you to know that. i Love shadow puppets theyre my favorite kind of puppetry so this is Very good for me

- duobing does something smart this episode and sets a trap in best friend's room to catch the killer when he tries to tie up loose ends! good job duobing! have a cookie <3

- and in the end, who did it? who killed poor qiushuang? the brother in law. for money! i had a feeling that shady bitch was part of it but they Did get me with the whole love poem for qiushuang's fiance bit.

- either way - yun jian, girl, bestie. your best friend's brother in law? I know you're catatonic from realizing your lover murdered your best friend but we Need to talk about this

- unfortunately this episode ends before we get the true conclusion - sure, they've revealed the gambling debts brother in law has-apparently the fangs are bankers, because duh-and the affair and the special family technique with shadow puppetry, but. they cut to the ending song </3 which means i wont get to see yu hongzhu's beat down until at Least when I get home around 7:30 pm. ah well

anyway. 9/10 for the episode I just wish we'd gotten the conclusion to the case in it. and that we had a proper goodbye from li'er, who duobing sent back home. but oh well