#mixed with the panic of realizing I'll be locking myself into months of it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

optiwashere · 1 year ago

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I liked doing this last week, but it will get kinda repetitive in the coming weeks. So I'm not sure if I'll do it often while I'm posting the modern/band AU, but oh well!

It's another Saturday morning in a blanket with new music. Truly all I could ever need to write.

Here's what I've been working on...

Modern/band AU is fit and ready to start posting this upcoming week. Chapter [redacted] is complete, and I'm now far enough ahead that even a few weeks of busy life won't stop a regular posting schedule. And if I keep up writing then I'll be able to post around Xmas without needing a break!

Chapter [redacted+1] has an opening sentence, which is often the hardest part.

The outline for the AU has been modified a little. Combined three chapters into one, split out another chapter into two. Probably lots of consolidation to be done otherwise. There's a weird bit in the outline that's kinda fuzzy, but I'm sure I'll knuckle my way through it since it's not thematically deep. Might even be another chapter consolidation. This fic is definitely going to be longer than the 40k I was hoping it would top out at...

Editing the previous chapters has been a fun exercise in trimming the fat! I still want there to be scenes that are just ~vibes~ but I axed 1k words and the whole thing is cleaner for it.

More Minthara/Lae'zel is in the works, but it's mostly only the skeleton of an idea as I've had to rework it multiple times. I've a little under 1k actually written, and I'm not too convinced of what it is at the moment either. Quite frustrating.

Another seedling of an idea for non-smutty Asheera/Shadowheart fics. But it's really just "Shadowheart meets Asheera's parents" and boy I'm not ready for the mixed emotions Shadowheart's going to feel in that one. You know it's not just going to be fluff.

The Gauntlet/Nightsong segment for my core Shadowheart/Asheera series has a skeleton of an outline now. The POVs have been picked, the core beats are there, and I know it's going to hurt like a motherfucker to write some of this.

#random rambling about writing #anotheropti fanfiction mind soup #OK a lot of these tags are truly mind soup so I don't advise anyone to take them as anything but letting off steam #if I was smarter I would just type the shit in these tags into a word doc and delete it lol #in which I look at the modern/band AU and wonder what I've gotten myself into #the anxiety of feeling like it's a disaster already and mentally preparing myself for that #mixed with the panic of realizing I'll be locking myself into months of it #bc I *cannot* stand having unfinished works #if you've been wondering why I'm writing as much as I can before posting anything this is why!#if I get hit with a week of hating what I've put out in the world then I can recover and still have chapters out #which is...#it's the same feeling I get when I submit writing to literary agents #except agents will tell you bluntly that they don't want it whereas people in fandom just glide by #as is everyone's right don't get me wrong #but I have severe problems with imposter syndrome and it's always worst when I'm posting longer stuff #and translating these characters to a modern setting and struggling with their characterizations gave me -10 to Will saves #so it's like “who is this for? is this for me and only me? does anyone need this? why make myself upset?”#anyways that was a lot of venting so now I write

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