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[fangirl1029]

Preface 1/2

hey loves , I’m posting the first half of my preface to the book ive been writing ( I still dont have a name for it.) so far i’m past 24 pgs in my google doc. 

@sunflowerleii @percussiongirl2017 @caro-jean​ @fiskers7136​ @daze-fluf

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Sometimes things get easier as time goes on. The air gets lighter and it is just easier to breathe , the anxiety that was normal fades. Happiness is no longer just a figment of your imagination but a real feeling that was long forgotten in all the years of pain and unhappiness. I wish I could say this was a story of that and that it wasn’t just a dream, a figment of the imagination. Yet we still carry the hope for such events as if the opportunities hadn’t long since passed. All we have is our family ,our legacy to leave behind. Whomever got in the way was to be removed at any cost. The vision of perfection more important than any real feelings:and personal gain? Off the table. 

Somehow as time went on the spotlight lost its intimidation as did my father.After all who could be scared when you were raised to believe you were untouchable , while everyone outside of this charade were disposable.In The last however many years my father had reached an indestructible mindset and lifestyle. As if he were superman but had no kryptonite because his family was as untouchable as he was. 

Sometimes children are oblivious to the weakness of their fathers. Most would think that we were too because they never saw any weakness from him so how would we? He had faced death so many times that his reaction made it seem like a normal event that would never actually catch up with him. Gunshot to the arm?  Yeah No problem ,no pain and not a moment of hesitation to remove the obstacle 

What did he do with this strength? He Raised 3 boys to be men as mighty and powerful as himself. Along with a girl who knew the power she possessed in this testosterone filled empire. The need for perfection and no weakness being put into their heads everyday for years.

Now here I am fully grown fighting for my spot in this circus.