#misshobart

[awhilesince]

Monday, 13 September 1824

7 50/60

1 35/60

Breakfast at 9 – Mrs Mackenzie came and sat with me 1/2 hour she is in doubt whether to stay here or not seemed to ask my advice and be inclined to stay if her father is pretty well I would not speak decidedly but was evidently in favour of her staying she has had much unhappiness married against her choice from convenience a man thirty years older than herself who made her unhappy tho she always tried to do her duty her daughter cleverer than she is and rather the upper hand it seems Mrs Mackenzies being so communicative struck me – Mrs Mackenzie gave me a ticket given to her by Mr Brande that will always admit me to the Jardin des Plantes – Miss Mackenzie, too, came in and sat with me a few minutes – 

on this account, it was 12 before I had read over my 3 letters finished last night, and had no time to make any extract from them – they must be in the general post office Rue Jean Jacques Rousseau before 2, or could not be taken in today, and then there being no English post tomorrow, must have waited till Wednesday my letter to my aunt (begun on Wednesday, 3 pages, the ends, and under the turn-down) giving an account of my journey, my being very comfortable here, of Madame de B–‘s (Boyve’s) being handsome – of our sitting in the Tuileries gardens, and of the Champs Elysées, and of the fête at St. Germain gave an account of the shawls worn and their prices – excerpt this – 

My letter to M– (Mariana) on the same subjects only giving a more regular account, rather journalwise, and adding short answers to M–‘s (Mariana’s) last letter – Merely said on the subject of Mrs Henry Stephen B–‘s (Belcombe’s) management of the going-to-York business, I did not understand it, but she and Steph had my best wishes – Entreated M– (Mariana) not to pother herself about Petergate money matters – Mrs B– (Belcombe) knew what she was, and would take care of the girls – I did not think Dr. B–‘s (Belcombe’s) practice could now be sold for much – he was not likely to be well enough to introduce anyone – but Steph’s name and kinship would serve him – affectionate to π (Mariana) kind about Miss Pattison but much more the former to Miss Maclean very much so to her tho anybody might see it perhaps she herself may muse over a line or two in the first page – Told both my aunt and M– (Mariana) and Miss Maclean of my having Madame Galvani, that she alone was worth coming to Paris for; and all my time – would be taken up in endeavoring to gain the French language – 

my letter to Miss Maclean begun at Shibden Wednesday 18 August, resumed and finished yesterday – foolscap sheet 3 pages, long ends, and under the turn-down – very small and short – Treated of my journey being comfortable here, the Tuileries Champs Elysées fête of St. Germain etc etc very briefly – all the rest bavardage amical – 

went out at 12 1/4 (took Cordingley with me) direct to the general post-office in the rue Jean Jacques Rousseau – put in my letter to my aunt (Shibden) 22 sols. and to ‘Mrs Lawton Lawton hall etc 22 sols. and to ‘Miss Maclean of Coll Tobermory North Britain (Ecosse)’ 28 sols because letters here are paid for according to their weight, and I had sealed this letter and wafered the 2 others – wafers always used here because lighter than sealing wax, and for the same reason the French choose thin writing paper – saw the man who took my letters, and those of the crowd standing round the wire grating of his bureau, weigh each letter in a pair of scales hanging close to him – 

from the Post Office walked thro’ the halle au bles, and the church of St. Eustache for Cordingley to see them – then along the rue de Grenelle direct thro’ the palais of the Louvre to the Pont des Arts – crossed the Pont neuf, and returned over the Pont royal thro’ the Tuileries gardens and got home at 2 –

the porter gave me a letter charged only 5 sols (brought by some private conveyance –sent thro’ our ambassador) from Miss Maclean (Tobermory) – Oh! that I had had it before I went out – 

on coming upstairs to Mrs Mackenzie to ask what they were going to do, found them going to the Louvre to try to see the exhibition there of the new (modern) pictures – done by living and I believe all French artists; for the King’s death was hourly expected, and all public places would be closed for 6 weeks – his majesty had taken leave of his family, and received extreme unction – the garde du corps to be changed – Monsieur the next King will go to St. Cloud, and there will be no fête there – what a stupid place, says everyone with one accord, will Paris be! Away we went to the Louvre – shut already, sans aucune exception, till further orders – Sauntered in the Tuileries gardens –

Got back at 4 – read my letter from Miss Maclean – very kind and affectionate – I know not any of her letters that has given me more pleasure – perhaps the receiving it here, might add to my delight – I shall keep and read it by way of stimulus for see the end of the crossing Breadalbane thought me ‘almost quite handsome at Esholt’ and Miss Maclean evidently likes and admires me  visited by an old admirer ‘you once said you thought I would have been happier in the married state no no you are mistaken unless with a mind and he art like your own the married state would have been misery to me  far happier as I am ‘ – see the bottom of page one – and the last end for the following  after desiring continuation of the extracts from my journal ‘you know not how I was tormented at home about you Miss Bs (Belcombe’s) manner of speaking half did this  she only poor soul jested but very little difference of manner in you would have made me dislike you at that time I believe it was mostly occasioned by a little tincture of jealousy at home’..... thought I to myself this lets me into much the Belcombes are no advantage to me I now really dislike Anne not tho on her own hearts account for she is good but for the disagreeableness of her manners I would not for worlds be thought a friend of her poor soul she too was jealous I guess the style in which she would mention me – Breadalbane by thinking me almost handsome at Esholt has perhaps got over her prejudices and and I may conciliate her perhaps entirely with a little care – she must have some idea of Miss Macls (Maclean’s) partiality for on the arrival of my letter she threw it into the room with ‘there be happy’ see the first page at the bottom of the second is the more than permission to write Sibbella  Mrs Grieves would have been most happy to see me –

Miss Maclean inclosed me a letter from her niece Miss Hobart – I should fancy her a nice good hearted fashionable girl the superior cleverness I have somehow expected would not strike one from her letter she is in first rate nobility society evidently – I am to burn the letter at the end of the envelope is the following ‘I certainly do spend a good deal on dress but if I had all to buy I think I could manage very well surely a single woman can live very comfortably on nine hundred a year which I under stand I have at my disposal uncle Sullivan told me before I went to Paris as worth eighteen thousand pounds and rather more’ – 

At the 4th page of Miss Hobart’s letter (dated ‘13th’ August) 

‘Now as to your dear picture, your friend whose name I forgot is perfectly welcome to it now, I will with pleasure lend it for a short time, but you may tell her she is much more welcome now than at the horrible time you mention, for if I survive you, I shall not then spare it.’ – 

Reading and musing over my letter till near 5, then came the Irish girl and another young person from Madame Romatier to try on my new gown – not only my stays, but my petticoats ill made (true enough) – French stays would cost 30 francs and upwards – such calico as my petticoats are made of, so strong and good, not to be got in Paris – the best I could get would be thinner and finer 5 francs an aune an aune wide tho’ this of mine was 1/3 in England this and 1/2 wide – it would take 3 or 4 aunes for a petticoat; and the making (at Madame R–‘s (Romatier’s)) would be 5 francs – 

Dinner at 6 – A Mr Moore who would speak nothing but desperately bad French all the while made his debut at table – to stay for how long, I know not – does not dance now in England – does not like the present style of dancing in England except at Almacks – rather a would-be-prig – nothing great, methinks, ab origine and at home – Madame de B– (Boyve) would teach me Ecarté, and after a game or 2, set me down to play with Mr Moore (not for money) and I played with him (the better of the 2 I think) for surely about an hour – 

In the evening had Monsieur Bellevue; a Swiss count, a handsome young man; Monsieur Denappe, and Monsieur St. Auban – after playing at finding out words and talking to 1 or other (have not sat next Madame de B– (Boyve) these 3 or 4 nights) 

came up to bed (leaving the party) at 11 35/60 making memoranda of my accounts – read and mused over Miss Maclean’s letter – all much kept me up so late – Very fine day – the sun out – very warm – Fahrenheit 69° at 12 3/4 – [E two dots O two dots, marking discharge from venereal complaint] –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/8/0042, SH:7/ML/E/8/0043

[awhilesince]

Thursday, 5 January 1832

8 25/’’

1 20/’’

Fahrenheit 65° at 8 ½ in my room and 35° at 9 in the balcony and frosty hazy morning – read a few pages volume I. Goldsmith’s England – down at 10 – breakfast and skimmed over the paper till 11 ½ – out at 11 ¾ – went to the bank and got £50 – then paid for the books I got yesterday (about £15 + the day before £10) looked at what was put out for sale today, and not intending to spend more (besides there was nothing to tempt me much) went to the foot of the East hill along the back of All Saints Street and walked slowly up and down there for an hour and then home at 1 35/‘‘– 

50 minutes nap – then from 2 50/’’ to 4 40/’’ wrote 3 pages and ends and under the seal to M– (Mariana) longed to answer her letter yesterday but going to the book sale – mentioned having spent £25 and the principal works I bought – said we were more merry than Theoretically might seem likely – but complained that if laughing must make fat we should be unbecomingly so before April – ‘I I have not laughed so much since days of you, when life was young, and hopes were brighter’ – but said we had not been quite alone – Mrs Carlton had come down to Hastings for a week – besides I was rather more acclimaté and less bilious ‘which is certainly something in favour of animal cheerfulness’ – have had a week’s frost – talk of excursionizing next month as if sure of fine weather – not a flake of snow has fallen – ……

‘But I have not yet wished you a happy new year, nor thanked you, Mary, for all your wishes to myself – were I at your elbow, instead of writing to you, I could say much it would be difficult to throw on paper – I hope there is a chance of your not ‘Emigrating’ – now that you are really mistress, which gives another interest in what you do, and that you think you are better fitted for the life you lead than for any other, I should doubly grieve over C–’s (Charles’s) taking you away from L– (Lawton) He does indeed seem to have taken a new lease – [footnote] I have certainly nothing to set against Mr Ford’s opinion but a sort of presentiment; yet this strangely misleads me, if he is right – Is not William 14? Then there are 6 or 7 years to his being of age; and this seems a long time to me, tho‘ not so to you – you remind me of what I said on the road from Peterbro‘ – you disclaimed its truth then, and own it now – Mary! do I not sometimes know you better than you know yourself? the world is always severe upon what it does not deem reasonable; and my own conviction is, that you yourself would be even more severe than the world – the putting people as little in contact with your own famliy as you can, all experience must convince you, will be the wisest plan – you thought of me on Saturday, on the ending up of the year – So did I think of you – what another may bring, who can tell? I little imagined, on taking my aunt from Paris to Shibden, that I myself should find it impossible to spend even this winter there – I counted upon being nearer to you than I am, and on seeing much more of you before my return to the continent, than I can now hope to do – But mine has never been even the earthly hand that held the reins of my own destiny – All that I had hoped, and done, was changed – no power was left to me; and, from that hour, I have been whirled I know not how, nor understanding nor controlling whither – I cannot, dare not look into that book where all the past, and present, and to come, are noted down – Too deeply Thinking might destroy even comfort and tranquillity – Tis best to dwell on the belief, that, ‘for human weal, heaven husbands all events’ – But tell me always, as soon as you can, what you are likely to do, God bless you, Mary! when I have any settled or probable plans, you shall know them – Ever very entirely and especially yours AL– (Anne Lister)’

footnote: as far as present appearances go  may live these twenty years  as Mr Ford told him last night tho he does bother me sadly and often I cannot help hoping he may see William of age …… I often think of what you told me in the coach from Peterborough that I was so used to Mr Ls (Lawton’s) odd ways that I should probably feel his loss more than I suspected and really my Fred it would be so and since I find that no unreasonable conduct would justify my leaving him I think I have made up my mind to put him as little in contact with my own family as I can help and in very other way to make the best of it for of an end there seems no chance C (Charles) will never change –

‘Saturday 31st December this is the last day of another year, my dearest Fred, it has carried on its wings many events of which I little dreampt at its commencement, probably that which begins tomorrow may do the same – but sufficient for the day – I don’t think I shall even anticipate again either good or evil, but for the future be content with the things that are – For you Fred I will not ease to wish every earthly good, may the next year bring you comfort and happiness, it often seems to me if Charles had been different how comfortably our home might have been your home, but all things have turned out differently from what we expected, and so do most things in this life – Sunday 1st January 1832. many many happy returns of the day to you, my own dearest Fred, may every good attend you with health and comfort in all ways – I have not much time for more than these wishes ….. god bless you dearest and believe me always yours Entirely’ 

signed Mariana this letter strikes me as remarkable she has a presentiment of what may be with Miss H (Hobart) have I answered her as she expected or as would best please her? No she will be rather strengthened in her gloomy surmises  and she has too much remorse – 

Sent off my letter to ‘Mrs Lawton Lawton hall Lawton Cheshire’ at 5 1/4 – at 5 35/’’ dressed – reading Goldsmith’s England – dinner at 7 in 1/2 hour – did German with Miss H– Hobart instead of having music – Coffee at 8 1/2 – then Miss H– Hobart sang a little – from 10 1/2 to 11 40/’’ read aloud from p. 372 to 439 end of chapter 33, and of volume v. Gibbon – came upstairs at 11 50/’’ – till 12 50/’’ and before dinner and this morning read from page 25 to 112 volume 1. Goldsmith’s history of England – very good friends on saying I should be less naughty if I had her always  she as if thoughtlessly replied you don't know you will not (meaning, have her always)  and after scolding my oddity she owned she liked what was not commonplace  of all this I seemed to take no notice – 

hazy but fineish day – Fahrenheit 62° at 12 in my room with a very hot fire – forgot to take in my thermometer so know not what it stood at in the balcony – the Skelmersdales arrived yesterday – Lord S– (Skelmersdale) left his card for Miss H– (Hobart) and Miss Wilbraham wrote a long kind note – neither mamma nor she well enough to venture out –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0006, SH:7/ML/E/15/0007

[awhilesince]

Sunday, 1 January 1832

9

1 40/''

no motion but bowels pretty well yesterday morning  I begin to think it is the sitting up so late does the mischief and produces the little round lumps or nothing at all  fine hard frosty morning – Fahrenheit 55° at 9 1/4 in my room and 35° at 9 3/4 in the balcony under the influence of a little sun – down at 10 – church at 11 – 25 minutes sermon from 2 Corinthians xiii. 5. something like search and see whether you are in the faith – staid the sacrament which took an hour – I should think 60 communicants at least – 

came to my room at 2 3/4 – from three and a quarter to five and fifty minutes  wrote 3 pages and ends small and close and under the seal to Mrs N– (Norcliffe) on the subject of asking the interest of the Ladies Hardwicke and Stuart de R– (Rothesay) and other subscribers for their vote for a pension from the national benefit society for Mrs N–‘s (Norcliffe’s) friend John? Wilson, wrote – 

‘I will do the best I can for the interest of your friend, with the ladies you mention, and with anyone else I may happen to know, who is a subscriber to the charity in question – But there is no list to be had, or looked at, at any of the libraries here; and not one of the small no. numbers of people we know here, seems to have anything to do with the charity – I am sadly afraid of not being able to profit you much; for all I am acquainted with who have influence, have always so many people of their own, and are so deep in promises, that they are never free – Among the fearful signs of the times are the crowds of applicants for everything that is worth a half penny – and really people are glad to take now what they would have spurned at ten or a dozen years ago – I have no fancy for croaking, and do not pretend to be a politician; but all sides seem a little puzzled, and I really do begin to wonder what will become of us ..... 

chit chat –  beg her to write to me – ‘You know my only dependence is on you’ – kind agreeable enough letter nearly the same as the one written yesterday but with some little addition and all mention of the Miss Percivals left out – then wrote 3 pages and ends and under the seal to Mrs James D– (Dalton) kind easy chit chat – I had promised to write to her as soon as I was settled in Paris and at the time of making the promise expected to be there, but, on arriving in London, my plans for the winter had been worked out differently – I hoped however to be there in April – it would be too long to me to wait to write till then – but I would keep my promise and write when I did arrive – at 5 50/’’ gave George my letter to ‘Mrs Norcliffe Langton hall malton Yorkshire’ and to ‘Mrs James Dalton Croft Rectory Darlington Durham’ and went down to Miss H– (Hobart) staid talking till 6 40/’’ – dressed – dinner at 7 10/’’ in 50 minutes – music – Coffee at 8 1/2 – came upstairs at 11 55/’’ – 

Vere to have done German sat with the books before us  she not opposing our talking  regular love making but wrapped up and very delicately done  she now gets interested  will at last allow that she feels ssome  careful me says every now and then some little thing that proves it  and in fact we understand each other and I think she is in a fair way of being really attached by and by if not more so already than she may be aware  talked of having a right to provide for the person who lived with me if I married and I had a right to do so none would dispute said she innocently but I dont think you have a right to marry meaning that I was too unlike a woman for that  this pope volume  I said well but I have apparently a right the world must suppose I have – in fact her manner is much more what it would be to a lover than a mere friend

very fine hard frosty day – Fahrenheit 59° at 12 1/4 tonight in my room and 34° now at 1 5/’’ in the balcony – came to my room at 12 and wrote the whole of the above of today –

left margin: she gave me a worked muslin pin cushion just before dinner as an etrenne 

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0005

[awhilesince]

Monday, 2 January 1832

9 20/’’

1 5/’’

did nothing but a few round lumps fine morning hard frost – Fahrenheit 54° at 9 35/ in my room and 34° at 10 in the balcony with a little sun – down at 10 25/’’ – breakfast in an hour – then came upstairs for an hour  in which a good while on the pot for nothing then incurred a cross by handling the clitoris and thinking of Miss H (Hobart) out at 12 27/’’ – went to 3 or 4 shops – walked to the 3rd mile stone on the London road and back at 2 40/’’  then writing for Miss H Hobart copy of second letter to her attorney  she came and sat with me an hour till five and thirty minutes then again at the letter – dressed at 5 3/4 – dinner at 7 1/4 in 3/4 hour – a little music – coffee at 8 1/2 – from 9 40/’’ to 10 3/4 read aloud from page 204. to 250 end of chapter 30. volume 5 Gibbon – then staid talking and came upstairs at 12 – very good friends  told her of my having driven mails and stages which she took very well saying she could now believe anything of me – fine day – very hard frost – Payne the confectioner laying in his store of ice – Fahrenheit 57° at 12 tonight in my room and 36° at 12 3/4 in the balcony –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0006

[awhilesince]

Friday, 2 July 1830

5 3/4

11 1/2

Left for the post – my letter to M– (Mariana) Lawton (vide yesterday off five minutes within the hour in fiacre à l’heure – called at the Tailors rue St. Benoit no. (number) 4, and ordered George a suit of black – in good time for Lecture 14 Monsieur de Mirbel – breakfast – went to museum, – forgetting that Brongniart’s lecture is not till tomorrow – then 3/4 hours nap – then finished my breakfast and off at 10 1/2 to the museum again – De Blainville Lecture from 10 50/.. to 12 20/.. – then went upstairs to speak to Monsieur Isidore Geoffroy St. Hilaire to ask after his father and say how much I regretted having an engagement that would prevent my staying over his lecture and came away – 

at home 1/2 hour – doing 1 thing or other – then off in fiacre from rue du Jardin du roi and home at 1 40/.. – dressed –

note from Miss Pickford St Gervais viâ Geneva to say the head of no use not numbered – she thinks of next ‘winter in Italy summer in the Tyrol, England for a little, and perhaps Greece the year after’ – very civil note from then Greek professor at the collège de France in answer to mine sent yesterday and which George forgot to give me – 

at my desk about 2 3/4 – then wrote 1/2 sheet full to Miss Hobart – almost all the first 3 pages about Miss Maclean 

‘I do not wonder that Lady Stuart tries to make you gradually less sanguine than you have hitherto been – Recovery cannot be expected; and Mr Long’s confidence in promising it, has always seemed to me an ‘arrogance of hope’, which nothing but ignorance could at all excuse – Do not dwell too much upon the great cheerfulness of today than yesterday – there are many symptoms that are not good – God grant she may be able to come in the autumn! but I hope rather than expect it –' ……. ‘Do pray tell her not to be at all annoyed at having kept me in suspense, and say that I am determined not to despair – in short, say everything you can think of that is most kind and affectionate’ – 

mentioned her presentiment of dying at 46 as her mother did – and that her being able to go home as her friends there wished seeming as much out of the question as being able to come – ‘In fact, I dread the effect of any great exertion’ – rejoiced of the prospect of Charles Stuart joining us here for the Pyrennees – 

then wrote full 1/2 sheet to Miss Maclean had just finished 3 pages when Letter came from her (43 Mornington Place Hampstead road) 3 pages and the ends enclosing letter (religious) from Miss Flora Long, and 2nd bill from Sowerby – gives up all thought of coming here now, and writes as if she did not much think of being about to come at all – bad account of herself – 

‘I am better but exceedingly weak – I have not walked for 3 months more than a little up and down my room, and not even that this last week, but I am gaining a little flesh, and sleep very well – my throat is well inside, and Mr Long says I may let it heal outside – I drive out every day, he has given me the entire use of his Stanhope, horse and groom, you know otherwise I could never breathe the air’ –

she is going to Richmond for a fortnight for change of air, and then she hopes to her friends the Lawrences Cowesfield house Hampshire – Colonel Craddock (had Howdons son, Smith) rejected addresses, and Sir Thomas Brisbane are patients of Mr Longs ‘and the more sensible and clever the more sure friends to Mr Long’ my letter to ‘Miss Maclean 43 Mornington Place Hampstead road’ remarkably kind and affectionate enclosed in envelope with my letter to ‘Miss Hobart Honorable Lady Stuart’s Whitehall’, and sent to the Embassy at 5 1/2 – said I would send Miss Maclean a check on Hammersley on Monday – she begged me to deduct for what I had not received (penknives pencils etc) ‘I named them to Vere but she did not offer any conveyance so I said no more’ – said I would ask Lady S– (Stuart) de R– (Rothesay) to allow them to be sent – Vere has no more heart than a post and I believe will not be very sorry to get rid of Miss Maclean? Miss Long’s letter which I am carefully to return is a dose of religion – Surely one may ‘walk humbly with God’ without all this ‘sounding brass and tinkling cymbals’ – 

wrote the last 18 1/2 lines and had just done at 6 40/.. – then wrote 2 3/4 pages (1/2 sheet note) to Miss Pickford – nothing particular – say I will give her message tomorrow about the phrenological head not being numbered – had I been asked should have declared possibly I had seen the numbers on it – say ‘I expect to be off to the Pyrennees in about a fortnight – my aunt, of course, is not of the party – she still too gouty and rheumatic to stir much beyond the bois de Boulogne’ – no mention of whom I am going with  say she had better keep the 10 francs my aunt not accustomed to see strangers and little able to shew them any attention, and I shall be from home and not have it in my power to do anything for her friends the Stewarts – In answer to all her Travelling schemes, say we must talk over our adventures at Shibden when we all get home again – conclude and hope Miss Maitland is to be her companion to Greece etc ‘cela posé, I must count upon the pleasure of making her acquaintance one of these days’ – 

dinner at 7 20/.. – read the paper – came to my room at 9 1/2 – wrote the last 10 lines – Coffee at 9 50/.. – thoroughly rainy day thunder and lightning this afternoon – Came to my room at 10 35/.. at which hour Fahrenheit 61° and fine moonlight night –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/13/0059, SH:7/ML/E/13/0060

[awhilesince]

Tuesday, 12 February 1833

8

35/..

11 50/..

very fine morning till 9 then rainy – breakfast with Marian at 9 40/.. Fahrenheit 47° at 9 a.m. – then a little with my aunt and came upstairs at 11 20/.. settling my accounts with Cordingley till 12 40/.. – from 1 to 3 40/.. wrote 3 pages and ends and under seal to Vere – interrupted a little by the Southowram surveyor to say from Abraham Hemingway there would be a town’s meeting at 11 a.m. tomorrow about the inditing of the Siddal lane road and beg me to attend if I could – thinking I should name my intention of making the new road along Bairstow above John Bottomley’s – said I was much obliged to Hemingway for sending and sorry I should be particularly engaged tomorrow and could not go to the meeting, but that I should have said nothing about the new road as I had named it to Mr Freeman and found the Southowram people had rather not have anything to do with it – and as I thought myself doing them a favour not they doing me one, I should say no more about but merely make a common cart road for my own land – 

off in a hurry at 3 3/4 down my walk to meet Miss W– (Walker) not there – walked to Lidgate brought her back with me all along the Godley road and my deep cutting thro’ Trough of Bolland wood along the field to the house at 5 1/4 – then left her with my aunt and came upstairs to send off my letter – said I should have written by return of post but received V–‘s (Vere’s) letter just as I was going from home for a few days – 

‘Trust me I am never likely to be anxious to seem to know more of anything than you yourself have told me, – satisfied that you will tell me, in your own good time, whatever you wish me to know – that you are so well is an excellent sign; and I congratulate you, and you all, with a deeper and more affectionate sincerity than can belong to anyone whose interest for you is not that which passeth shew – On the subject of your return, I neither wonder at your own indecision at the time you wrote, nor at Lady Northland’s declining to give advice; for she knows well enough how much depends upon a person’s own natural fancy – I am glad you have now such plenty of connaissances, and enjoy yourself so much – you will have fine weather, too, and will get out every day, and be lured to stay out, and almost live out of doors, the best thing for us all’ – 

count upon seeing her, somewhere before they go to the Highlands – perhaps in London in May – She will have heard the change in my plans from Lady S– (Stuart) impossible to get off before May – 

‘my aunt has not been so well of late, and tho’ she is now better, her wishes are so urgent, that I could not reconcile it to myself to leave her now’ – 

shall tell her Vere my plans as soon as I know them myself – 

‘the being kept here till the end of May, and seeing you in London, might probably make some change in the direction of my journeying in its commencement’ – 

struck with her remark upon having trusted to the same hands as before to sent up my new establishment – glad she had written so long a letter to Lady Harriet

‘Many more unlikely things have happened than my seeing her chez elle before the 12 month’s end’ – 

shall get all the books V– (Vere) recommended – Long to see Vesuvius and Ætna – can one see all in Rome in 3 weeks? wish I could be in Paris in April – But for road making and planting etc I had merely vegetate 

‘But honestly and truly, my dearest Vere, the sight of you, so well and happy as you are would rouse me back into new life, and every feeling that could be agreeable – By the way I did not want to promise too much; but, if you are ever calling over names for a supernumerary promise of just 3 things, do not pass me by, unless, which is always probable, you have a host of others nearer, and better – I only hope you will not have left Rome before my letter arrives ….. How does the journal go on? I shall beg some little scraps if I can – the little book you wrote me at Hastings is inestimable – the very sight of it would cure me of vapours at any time – Remember me now and then, and when you do, thank that time will not wear away the ever anxious and affectionate regard of yours very faithfully AL– (Anne Lister)’ 

wrote all but the 1st 4 lines of today and sealed and directed my letter to ‘The Lady Vere Cameron poste restante à Rome Italia’ and left it for the post and went down to Miss W– Walker and off back to Lidgate with her at 5 55/.. and there in 40 minutes at 6 35/.. – dinner – then tea – botany in the evening – she a little on the amoroso  came upstairs at 10 3/4 and to my room at 11 we slept in her own room over the drawing room and not in the orange room as of late – fine day and evening –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/16/0016, SH:7/ML/E/16/0017

[awhilesince]

Tuesday, 17 January 1832

9 1/2

1 25/’’

fine morning Fahrenheit 54° at 9 1/2 in my room and 43° at 10 10/’’ in the balcony – down at 10 35/’’ breakfast in 22 minutes upstairs again in 1/2 hour and out at 11 1/4 – walked to the 3rd mile stone on the London road – did a shopping or 2 and back at 1 25/’’ – dressed asleep from 2 1/4 to 3 then 

right margin: till 4 wrote all the above of today –

lay above an hour and a half this morning thinking of Miss H (Hobart) annoyed and hurt and got up with a zam her as I have often enough done before  my whole life with her is one effort to be what I am not naturally I feel it more this morning than I did last night it began with she came out from dinner to get her bag and I followed to light her and unluckily was going to kiss her forehead which she refused saying it was indecent  not a usual time  I laughed but submitted I had not seen her of so long the seeing now put me in spirits  I then at table George was not by joked about having taken three glasses of wine and would have more  then said she I shall have a headache and go to bed  all this passed off but when I repeated afterwards how little I had seen of her during the day (only the half hour at her breakfast and eleven minutes on coming home) she said oh I had seen as much of her as usual and my allowed time was an hour counting from the time she had done breakfast and from seven to twelve in the evening  It is the thinking over this that so annoys me for she added she could not lock the drawing room door (insinuating or meaning the room was as much mine as hers) but that time was all I ought to call mine I laughed at the moment and said rely upon it I will tell this of you  when she was cross on Friday morning and as I told her without the smallest reason she would not allow this saying she did not know I did not meant to stay for I often went in for a minute and staid twenty when she was busy  thus there is no doubting that I am in fact excluded from all but my own bedroom save as above line twenty four  no great love be therefore of my company besides I now begin to feel that I must look a little like I know not what to all her friends who never see and now never will see me downstairs in a morning  this occurred to me particularly on Sunday morning  on Saturday evening Lady Anne Scott sent the book for penny subscriptions and donations to the clothing society  Miss H (Hobart) asked what to do oh said let us give what the Scotts have done ten shillings a piece  Miss H (Hobart) said well then you shall write your name and I will write mine  just as I came down to breakfast on Sunday I found her sending back the book she having written both names or her own I know not what  I looked for a moment on which she said oh I did not know you wanted to see the book again  If you did you should have told me  I merely said oh no and gave her my half sovereign  hang it I don't like all this perhaps were I of high rank I might never think of it  as it is she would be more wise to act differently? She certainly treats me oddly and so she thinks of me too for yesterday morning on my saying something that the occasion brought forward about petticoats indeed said she I think from your difficulty in getting accustomed to them you must have spent great part of your life without them  but why write so much about her why waste so much time and paper?  I hope it may instruct me afterwards and cure me of all folly about her by forcing me to remember what sort of time I have really passed with her how chequered with mortification and pain  I have in fact never been so so solitary we can hardly be said to have one feeling in common and here I am alone in heart and sighing under mortifications that shame can never let me breathe but which is all my consolation that none can dream of – well when the first of April comes and the hour of parting is at hand let me put on all decent semblance of regret but leave the reality all to her if aught of it she may have heart to feel  I will try to pass it off now with tempered smiles pride may at least do me some service in hiding the truth  surely I shall not be taken into take her to Italy god forbid? do I or do I not know what I wish lord have mercy but in me thou orderest all things wisely and thy will be done  no more of her at least at present I want to be off taking her back to London if I can – oh that I had formed some plans I dislike Cameron yet hardly dare risk getting another  if I had indeed five thousand a year how all things would be smoothed over and easier than now when I ought not to spend seven hundred  I must employ my mind get all my accounts done and then think seriously of authorship why not try my pen to make a few hundreds would do come good and at least that of diverting my attention – thought of Miss H (Hobart) with all these mortified feelings as I walked – 

out at 11 1/4 – back at 1 25/’’ from the 3rd mile stone London road just peeped in and asked Miss H– (Hobart) if she would walk she not inclined – dressed – asleep from 2 1/4 to 3 then till 4 wrote the above of today – from 4 to 7 inking over Dutch journal – so sometimes bad to make out have one ? done 9 pages having still 12 pages to do – Dinner at 7 10/’’ in 40 minutes – music and I read over the paper – coffee at 8 1/2 – Miss H– (Hobart) working – I too hoarse to read aloud sat looking over Strabo’s maps till 9 50/’’ from then to 11 5/’’ played 2 hits at backgammon lost one, won the other – then talking till came upstairs at11 50/’’ – 5 minutes with Miss H– (Hobart) and then came to my own room – Lady Skelsmersdale and Miss Wilbraham called about 3 – 

it was their rap that awoke me merely said I was glad they had been here – Miss H (Hobart)  said how gay she might have been Skelsmersdales and Lady Howe at home every Friday  I made no remark  she said Miss Wilbraham had offered to come and see her tomorrow evening  I was very glad  she began to joke at dinner about not having come down to her for my half hour  I merely replied I had come in after my walk and had been very busy but not being inclined for joking or much conversation no more was ssaid and my gravity was unmoved during the evening she thinks me offended and that perhaps it will wear off and I be as usual again soon enoughI hope she is mistaken and that I may by and by be a little less grave I may yet be as properly distant as now surely no more nonsense no more playfulness and ease she will like it better let herI shall get accustomed to it and find it easier or less irksome by and by wrote the last 12 lines – finish day, soft and hazy – Fahrenheit now at 12 1/4 in my room and 43° at 12 3/4 in the balcony – let all this fire my ambition to write and cut some figure and in the race leave Miss H (Hobart) a little behind  how surprised she would be and how silently delighted I

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0011, SH:7/ML/E/15/0012

[awhilesince]

Sunday, 15 January 1832

8 50/’’

1 1/2

fine frosty morning Fahrenheit 54° at 9 in my room and 37 1/2 at 9 50/’’ in the balcony – down at 10 10/’’ breakfast – both went to church at 11 – a new preacher 1/2 hour from Isaiah xxviii. 16 – too cold for Miss H– (Hobart) to walk – sat reading the paper downstairs till 3 25/’’ and writing copy for Miss H– (Hobart) of short letter to her attorney in answer to him of yesterday and to enclose two powers of attorney witnessed by Mr Courtenay and me last night to her bankers to receive her dividends just transferred into her name by her uncle Mr Sullivan  I witnessed after Mr C (Courtenay) A Lister spinster Shibden Hall Yorkshire –

kind Letter this morning 3 pages and ends and under the seal from Mrs James Dalton (Croft), – and 1/2 sheet franked by Captain Yorke from Lady Stuart (Wimpole) all anxiously at not hearing from Miss H– (Hobart) tho’ she has written twice a week (Sunday and Thursday) as usual – In my note to Lady Stuart ‘she’ (Miss H– (Hobart)) 

‘has certainly not been quite so well these last few days; but that could make no difference in her writing – Do not, however be the least uneasy on her account; as I hope a change of weather is all that is required – the taking no exercise; and being obliged to stay in the house, will never agree with her for long – we kept up our daily walks as long as we dared, but there is no braving sharp frost, and eastly winds; and, I fear, these are likely to continue for a while – as soon, however, as the weather is milder, and the direction of the wind changes, we think of making some little excursions to see the neighbouring lions, which I have no doubt will amuse, and do us an infinity of good – the people say we shall have fine weather next month; and we count upon this’

 – Conclude with ‘Do not be the least uneasy about Vere – There has been a little ‘expectoration, but none this morning – Ever my dear Lady Stuart very truly and affectionately yours A Lister’ – said I should write to Lady Stuart de R– (Rothesay) soon ‘love to the dear girls  Louisa did promise me a sketch of high cliffs’ – Miss H– (Hobart) enclosed my letter (3 pages of 1/2 sheet and under the seal) to ‘the honourable Lady Stuart’ with her own letter under cover to Lord Hardwicke at 5 10/’’ and I staid downstairs from then to 5 55/’’ – Lady Ann Scott sent to borrow our newspaper her own not arrived today – 

finished rough draft of index to this volume – dressed dinner at 7 5/’’ in 3/4 hour – music – coffee at 8 1/2 – Miss H– (Hobart) wrote out music and I cut open books and talked over my travels and adventures till came upstairs at 11 35/’’ – ten minutes in Miss H–’s Hobart’s room and came to my own at 11 3/4 at which hour Fahrenheit 56 1/2° in my room and 35° at 12 50/’’ in the balcony – very fine frosty day and night –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0010

[awhilesince]

Saturday, 14 January 1832

8 55/’’

1 1/4

very fine rather frosty morning – Fahrenheit 54° at 9 in my room and 38° at 9 3/4 in the balcony with a little sun tho’ not immediately under its influence – downstairs to breakfast at 10 10/’’ for an hour – out at 11 26/’’ ordered Miss H (Hobart) a partridge and walked to the 3 mile stone on the London road and back at 1 23/’’ – very fine frosty sunny day but wind eastly and too cold for Miss H– (Hobart) to venture out who had this morning the expectoration with a little bright arterial blood as before – in fact, as she herself confesses Hastings has done her no good – she is just as she was – nor do I expect her to be better till the spring is over – 9 minutes with her till 1 32/’’ – 

Changed my dress – at my desk at 2 10/’’ from then to 5 25/’’ making notes and Extracts from Gibbon volume vi. looking over the volume and all the notes and Extracts I have lately made – Miss H– (Hobart) came to me for a few minutes at 4 1/2 – then from 5 1/2 to 6 10/’’ making out rough draft of index of the 1st 7 days of this month – dressed – dinner at 6 50/’’ in 40/60 hour – coffee at 8 – Mr and Mrs Courtenay and their 3rd son came at 9 and staid till 10 40/’’ – Mr C– (Courtenay) talked more than he had ever done here before but stupidish people – sat up talking – 

came upstairs at 11 40/’’ – Miss H– (Hobart) in my room till 12 – telling her of being cross this morning till brought her to tears but very good friends very fine frosty day – Fahrenheit 56 1/2° in my room with good fire at 12 40/’’ and 36 at 1 19/’’ in the balcony –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0010

[awhilesince]

Friday, 13 January 1832

8 40/’’

12 55/’’

much disturbed last with a rowe in the house a party, of course, of Mrs Dove’s, and singing and noise till after 2 this morning – did not hear the noise till just after I was in bed, that fancied, it being gentle at first, somebody had broken into the house – 

Letter from Mr Briggs H–x (Halifax), 1/2 yearly account  no extra payments ssave seventy five pounds to my aunt  so that all has to come and I shall have next to nothing next half year  Fineish hazyish morning – Fahrenheit 47 1/2° at 9 and 43 1/2 at 9 3/4 in the balcony – till after 9 looking over Mr Brigg’s letter and comparing it with messieurs Rawson’s – downstairs to breakfast at 10 20/’’ – came up again at 11 20/’’ – reading the newspaper (Globe) till 12 10/’’ – from then to 1 20/’’ making notes and extracts from volume vi. Gibbon – 

went out with Miss H– (Hobart) at 1 1/2 – called and sat 3/4 hour at the Courtenays’ with Mr Mrs and 3 Miss C–s (Courtenays) – then sauntered in High Street  Miss H (Hobart) bought a gown and my joking her about paddling made her own she walked with difficulty and asked me to order her some of the sulphur electuary for piles – home about 3 – then a little while with Miss H– (Hobart) and looking for the formula of the sulphur Electuary went out at 3 50/’’ – ordered the stuff at Baker’s – got another smelling bottle  for Miss H (Hobart) she having broken in the stopper of the last – went to Wooll’s and above 1/2 hour there – ordered Hort’s pantheon, price 5/. for Miss H– (Hobart) home at 4 50/’’ – 

with Miss H– (Hobart) till came to my room at 5 1/2 – she is languid and tired and not looking well today – I found her at the piano in the dark and she was affectionate till some how talking of warmth and my saying I wanted no more than what she was just then  this seemed to make her half repenting it and she said nobody liked warmth it was disagreeable  I should never get it from her etc till tho without shewing it I came away  more impatient and vexed than I have felt with her for long  but I suppose it will wear off again  

wrote the last 12 lines till 6 from then to 6 50/’’ making notes and Extracts from Gibbon volume 6 – dressed – dinner at 7 20/’’ in 40 minutes – coffee at 8 3/4 played and won 1 hit at backgammon – from 10 40/’’ to 11 40/’’ read aloud from page 306. to 362 (first chapter 38.) volume 6. Gibbon came upstairs at 11 55/’’ – five minutes in her room very good friends after all she gradually gets used to my manner and certainly does not dislike me – came to my room at 12 at which hour Fahrenheit 55° – hazy dampish day – Fahrenheit 39° at 12 3/4 in the balcony –

left margin:

sulphur Electuary Sulphur, cream of tartar, carbonate magnesia of each 1 oz. (ounce) in 2. Spoon honey.

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0010

[awhilesince]

Thursday, 12 January 1832

8

1

fine morning Fahrenheit 58° at 8 in my room and 43° at 8 3/4 in the balcony – down at 9 5/’’ – 25 minutes reading the newspaper then breakfast – Miss H– (Hobart) came ca. at 9 40/’’ – came upstairs at 10 1/4 – out at 10 26/’’ walked to the 3rd mile stone London road reading as I went German fables 13 to 19 inclusive of Lessing – back at 12 3/4 – 

from 1 5/’’ to 2 1/4 out walking with Miss H– (Hobart) sauntered in High Street – then ten minutes at Diplock’s to see an account of a royal dinner parties in the John Bull of Sunday last – Miss Wilbraham called and sat a little with Miss H– (Hobart) while I was out – Miss H– (Hobart) said she had a speck of blood this morning in the expectoration as she generally has had after being out in an East wind however gentle as yesterday – 

came to my room at 2 1/4 – long while cutting toe nails then – dressed and read Goldsmith’s England from 419 to 459 end of volume 1 and the first 17 pages volume 2, till 4 1/4 wrote the above of today – then opened my letter of this morning from Messieurs Rawson, H–x (Halifax), it seems I had in their hands on the ninth instant exactly five hundred and eighty two pounds ssix and two pence – 1/4 hour downstairs – from 4 3/4 to 7 at accounts – 

dinner at 7 5/’’ in 3/4 hour – music – coffee at 8 1/2 – Miss H– (Hobart) looking ill today, particularly tonight, and lay a little on the sofa – from 10 to 11 25/’’ read aloud from page 238. to 306. and of chapter 37. volume vi. Gibbon – in Miss H–‘s (Hobart’s) room 10 minutes and came to my own room at 11 50/’’ at which hour Fahrenheit 58° – fineish day, but heavy rain just after dinner and wet evening – Fahrenheit 45° at 12 1/2 – the balcony –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0009

[awhilesince]

Wednesday, 11 January 1832

8 55/’’

12 55/’’

fine mild morning now after much rain in the night and recently Fahrenheit 61° at 9 in my room and 42 1/2° at 9 3/4 in the balcony – down at 10 1/4 for an hour – breakfast – then and 1/4 hour upstairs skimmed over the paper – out with Miss H– (Hobart) at 11 1/2, sauntered in High Street – some time at Mr Wooll’s – and, Miss H– (Hobart) not satisfied to pay 9d. (pence) a lb. (pound) for veal, I spoke to and agreed with Wagenham in High Street to let us have best pieces of everything (with no exception but fillet of veal which should be 10d. (pence) i.e. without the knuckle) at 7 1/2 – home at 12 35/’’ – doubting whether to go out again – fell asleep in my chair at 12 40/’’ and slept till 2 – put my hair in papers etc etc – from 2 1/2 to after 6 looking over account books and preparing rough draft of Cashbook entries and M–‘s (Mariana’s) account – then inking over the pencil 1/2 obliterated writing of Deutel journal till 6 55/’’ – dressed dinner at 7 1/4 in 40 minutes – music – coffee at 8 1/2 – from 9 1/4 to 10 1/4 played 2 hits at backgammon of which won 1 and lost one – from 10 1/2 to 11 25/’’ read aloud from page 190. to 238 end of chapter 36, volume vi. Gibbon – came upstairs at 11 35/’’ – 5 minutes with Miss H– (Hobart) neither of us any fire tonight – 1st time since we began with fires for the winter – I have had no fire all today – sat in a state of solution all yesterday – Fahrenheit 58 1/2° now at 11 3/4 in my room and 46° at 12 1/2 in the balcony – fineish soft morning till about 12 then a few drops of rain sent us to Mr Wooll’s – began to rain about 4 p.m. and afterwards a good deal of rain – Lord and Lady Skelmersdale called on Miss H– (Hobart) for a few minutes while I was upstairs asleep or writing – In the course of today have only read from page 379 to 419 Goldsmith’s England volume I. –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0009

[awhilesince]

Tuesday, 10 January 1832

8 20/’’

1 1/4

fine morning Fahrenheit 59° in my room and 48 1/2 at 9 – in the balcony Letter from Mr Briggs respecting the offer for Benjamin Bottomley’s farm – 7 of them – the lowest £65. highest £100 by Thomas Greenwood Mr Carr £75. Robert Pickersgill £80. and Mr Briggs is informed that the last named is an industrious man and would be a good tenant – the rentday account deferred till Monday on account of the absence of Mr Scateherd – down to breakfast at 10 1/4 – came upstairs at 11 10/’’ – till 11 40/’’ skimming over this morning’s paper – then downstairs 1/4 hour – Miss H– (Hobart) not satisfied about the Grocer’s bill, and with reason – Cameron for any good she does in these matters is not worth her meat – she is indeed an uncommonly great noodle, and my heart fails me at the thought of taking such a person by way of being trusted to abroad – from 12 to 4 55/’’ wrote and copied and sent off at 4 50/’’ 1 1/3 page letter to Mr James Briggs (Horton Street H–x (Halifax) Yorkshire) of the 3 preferring Pickersgill – desiring to know Washington’s measurement of the land and how much contained in Bairstow – and if anything had been settled with Mr Wilkinson about the water at Lower brea – and brought down my business letter book to today, not having entered any letter in it since leaving Paris – have not put into it my correspondence with Mr Proctor Lawton about my will – shall leave this on the loose scraps of paper as it is – at least for the present – wrote the last 6 lines till 5 5/’’ – then near six ate above half a bun and before and after till five and three quarters writing copy of letter inquiring for travelling foreign manservant and of advertisement for a ladys maid  dressed – dinner at 7 10/’’ in 40 minutes – music – coffee at 8 1/2 – and sat on the foot stool rubbing her ankles much swelled  first time she ever let me do so much and then she owned I had done them good and held out her forehead for me to kiss  played and won one hit at backgammon – then from 9 55/’’ to 11 read aloud from page 145 to 190. chapter 36 volume vi. Gibbon and came upstairs at 11 1/2 – 8 minutes in Miss H–‘s (Hobart’s) room – she has looked very ill this evening and all today – fine soft day till near 12 then began to rain and damp and rainy the rest of the day – Fahrenheit 62° at 11 3/4 p.m. in my room and Fahrenheit 48 1/2 at 12 50/’’ in the balcony – In the course of the day have read from page 321 to 379 Goldsmith’s England –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0009

[awhilesince]

Monday, 9 January 1832

8 3/4

1 5/’’

fine morning Fahrenheit 58 1/2 at 8 3/4 in my room and 44 1/2 at 9 20/’’ in the balcony – sat reading – downstairs at 10 20/’’ Miss H– (Hobart) came at 10 1/2 – breakfast – came upstairs at 11 1/2 – out at 11 3/4 – went to a shop or 2 walked to the 3rd mile stone London road reading as I went the 1st 13 German fables of Lessing – home at 2 5/’’ – 1/2 hour with Miss H– (Hobart) then writing Extract from Gibbon etc at 3 35/’’ her dresser came to cut my hair (in 35 minutes) – went downstairs for a few minutes – Captain Cameron Grenadier Guards called on Miss H– (Hobart) at 4 10/’’ – I had come up to dress, and was down again in 5 minutes – he staid till 5 or a little after – an amiable agreeable enough person – 

had a little talk about him I not shewing the least symptom of my real thoughts  her manner was not at all discouraging and he said he should call again is going to a visit to Lord Ashburnhams  she said on his leaving  well I am delighted at the propriety but I saying propriety: why there is always propriety  this notice seemed to alarm her and perhaps she regretted having made the speech  she sent me upstairs  I said in joke I was offended and came upstairs at 5 1/2 – did she wanted to be by herself and think it over? I think she will have him – well what do I care?  I shall have all the good I can out of her aquaintance and not having more will not break my heart  Lady Gordon may suit me better  somehow poor π (Mariana) at all events sseldom occurs to me as destined for my future companion – 

wrote the last 11 lines and then till 7 10/’’ looking over and making Extract from Gibbon volumes v and vi. Dinner at 7 1/4 in 40 minutes – music – coffee at 8 1/2 – played and lost one hit at backgammon – from 10 to 11 1/4 read aloud from page 87. to 145. chapter 35. volume vi. Gibbon came upstairs at 11 25/’’ – 25 minutes in Miss H–’s (Hobart’s) room reading and laughing over Humphrey Chinker – very good friends but both of us without giving particular sign of it  thinking of the visit of Captain Cameron

fine morning but hazy and threatening rain while I was which just came on as I entered the house – and turned out rather rainy afternoon with kind and foaming surf – Fahrenheit 61° now at 12 in my room and fair but balcony wet after recent rain – Fahrenheit 49 at 12 40/’’ in the balcony – till 12 40/’’ and before during the day read from page 272. to 321 volume 1. Goldsmith’s England –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0008, SH:7/ML/E/15/0009

[awhilesince]

Sunday, 8 January 1832

7 40/’’

1 5/’’

fine morning Fahrenheit 57° at 9 50/’’ in my room and 44 1/2 at 10 1/4 at which hour went downstairs – Letter 3 pages and ends and under seal from my aunt at Shibden dated Wednesday 4th instant – Marian had been at Market W– (Weighton) since the day before Xmas which seemed to have cast no particular gloom over anybody – my father quite well – of herself 

‘my general health is good as usual, but the complaint which has been gradually coming on for years, has increased very much of late, that I not only suffer pain, but unconvenience; as I cannot bear much pressure anywhere, and my finger ends are sadly swelled’ – 

comfortable account enough of all else – at church (Miss H– Hobart and I) at 11 5/’’ – our usual affected slightly impedimented preacher 32 minutes from 1 Epistle John i.8, and following verse, ‘if ye say ye have no sin ye deceive yourselves’ etc walked with Miss H– (Hobart) – 20 minutes on the parade then left her at 1 25/’’ to call on Lady Skelmersdale and Miss Wilbraham and walked (by George Street and returned by Wellington Square) on the west hill and almost to the last houses near the London road turnpike, and came in at 2 1/2 – 

came upstairs at 3 5/’’ – sat by her on the sofa just lay my head on her knees but tho not cross she immediately put her feet down  she is particular enough we are now very good friends and tis plain she likes me but treats exactly as if I was a lover calling me naughty a word not meaning absoluted is pleasure – cut my nails etc at 5 took down to Miss H– (Hobart) a 1/4 sheet note for her to enclose with her own to Breadalbane Mac L– (MacLean) franked by Mrs Courtenay who called today while I was out – very kind note – said it was very very good of her to think of what passed at Esholt about the seal – I remembered it perfectly – she knew how little likely to forget in such a case – but I had already so much that Sibbella valued all other claim was cancelled – ought not – could not accept her too kind offer (of sending me the seal) but grateful for her having made it fancying it a proof of her knowing me well enough to believe that time could not wear away my affectionate remembrance of our Sibbella – hoped V– (Vere) was receiving as much benefit from the air here as from any in England – certainly looking better than when she left Whitehall, but I feared she would require care and discipline for a winter or two to come – 

wrote the above of today till 5 1/2 – then went downstairs for 20 minutes – then settled accounts etc – dressed – dinner at 7 10/’’ in 3/4 hour – music – coffee at 8 1/2 – cutting open books, and reading Collins (part of ode on the passions etc) to Miss H–( Hobart)  she laughed and said she could not warm over it like me   but on hearing all explained owned it beautiful  she is certainly getting more and more accustomed to me and more attached and easy and affectionate in her manner  I take care to say nothing to alarm her coyness and we get on very well  I begin to think that when we part she will miss me more than she imagines  ten minutes in her room – and came to my room at 11 55/’’ at which hour Fahrenheit 60 1/2 in my room Fahrenheit 44° at 12 1/2 in the balcony – fine day – In the course of the day read from page 247 to 273. volume 1 Goldsmith’s England.

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0008

[awhilesince]

Saturday, 7 January 1832

8 40/’’

1 1/2

Fahrenheit 58° in my room at 8 3/4 and 44° in the balcony at 9 1/4 – a fine morning – breakfast at 10 20/’’ in about an hour – skimmed over the paper – came to my room at 12 – from 12 10/’’ to 6 25/’’ at my private accounts setting them for last year – entering all my books etc  my shakspeare folly  may this be a lesson to me as long as I live against trusting myself at auctions – dressed – dinner at 7 10/’’ in 3/4 hour – music – coffee at 8 1/2 – from 10 20/’’ to 11 20/’’ read aloud from page 37 to 87. chapter 34 volume iv. Gibbon –

came upstairs at 11 1/2 – ten minutes in her room very good friends before coming upstairs she gently kissed my forehead then said do you know what I did I am frightened at myself  she said just now I had been very good today but then I had been so busy  a good deal of cousin made me feel quiet  Miss Wilbraham (honourable) called on Miss H– (Hobart) early this morning, between 12 and 1 – pretty tolerably fine day tho’ much wind South East and a little rain – came to my room at 11 40/’’ at which hour Fahrenheit 63° in my room – Fahrenheit 43° at 12 3/4 in the balcony till 12 3/4 and before during the day

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/15/0008