#misha collins ofc

[angel-fruitcake]

hilarious how Cas was human for all of literally not even 1 full episode and the writers already had him stripping all 3 layers and showing off miles of that pretty skin

[ribbonsncherries]

The Contract

Warnings: Lots of smut, P in V, Oral (both m and f receiving), BDSM!, Sexual Assault, Stalking, Angst, Alcohol mentions, Dominant and submissive plot, Drug Mentions, Virgin user, mentions of drugs.

Chapter 1

Pairing: CEO!Dean Winchester x inexperienced! User

Summary: When her roommate and work partner gets sick, she is in charge of interviewing famous billionaire businessman Dean Winchester for his new bar's grand opening which leads to a passionate and tumultuous affair where she discovers his dark sexual desires, marked by control and dominance. The one catch? He doesn't do romance.

Based on the trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey.

(3473 Words)

Divider credits: @dollywons, @anitalenia, @selysie

 “Please!” her roommate Jessica repeated yelling at her. (y/n) poured hot water into a coffee mug, placed a tea bag in the water, and began mixing with a spoon. “What did I tell you about yelling? Your throat is already damaged from the yelling at this point.” she scolded. Jessica sighed as (y/n) passed her the mug filled with tea. Jessica pouted as she poured in some honey. “I just need you to do this one thing. One thing.” (y/n) and Jessica are partners for a famous magazine ‘Runway’, Jessica and (y/n) were going to interview famous billionaire Dean Winchester who had just opened a new bar in their city. Dean was a longtime famous topic in Runway cause of the girls who swooned over him since he was single, so Runway only thought of the dynamic duo to interview him the next day. If only Jessica hadn’t become a walking disease. 

“It’s just one interview without me you can do this. Besides I’ve already got some questions written down, just press play on the tape recorder and ask away,” she said. (y/n) rolled her eyes as she drank her tea, “I’m only doing this cause Castiel is going to beat us up if we don’t get this article in.” she agreed. Jessica smiled as she lifted her arms. “Yes! (y/n) saves the day again!” she said before coughing up a storm, “ow.” Jessica thought for a moment and grabbed the laptop sitting across from her on the coffee table, just as she was about to reach out (y/n) grabbed it before she did, “Not a chance. You need to stay and rest, that means no working until you feel better.” Although Jessica groaned she agreed. “Night roomie,” she rasped getting up from the couch and to her room. 

The next day (y/n) got up early and did extra research since she was doing this alone. She quickly called Castiel to inform him that she would be able to do this alone and quickly for the article to get posted and submitted by next week. She dressed up professionally yet comfortably since this was a grand opening at almost 9 in the morning. She dressed up in black dress pants and boots, pairing it with a basic black shirt and sweater. She grabbed what she needed and met Jessica in their living room who was blowing her nose into her tissue. “You're so lucky you get to meet the Dean Winchester,” Jessica complained. (y/n)’s lips curled into a smile as she heated a bagel. “You’re a dork, Jess,’’ she laughed. Before she left (y/n) packed her bag with her media pass, notebook, and tape recorder. As she was putting on her boots Jessica immediately got up. 

“I almost forgot” she rasped. Jessica dug through her work bag and gave (y/n) a piece of paper with questions to ask Dean. “Ask him these would ya.” (y/n) looked up to Jessica while she offered a sheepish grin. “Good luck.” (y/n) thanked her before starting her car. As she headed to the bar nerves were kicking in. She’s always had Jessica by her side so this was strange going to interview someone famous without her. When she pulled up into a parking garage she put on her media pass around her neck and grabbed her bag. As she began getting closer to the bar she saw a crowd of people, especially paparazzi and girls screaming his name. She took a deep breath in and began squeezing her way to the front. “Excuse me!” she called out to the event worker. She flashed her media pass. “I’m here with Runway magazine I think I’m supposed to be-” 

“Media cannot pass this barrier.” The man said. (y/n) puffed her cheeks in frustration. “Yeah, I know I work for Castiel Novak, the editor-in-chief. I know he’s a good friend of Mr. Winches-” 

“Don’t care stay behind the line.” (y/n) groaned out anger and clenched her teeth in annoyance. When Dean Winchester came by the Paparazzi began crowding amongst each other. Everyone shoulder-to-shoulder. She tried to get past through but there was no way around it. As Dean cut the ribbon he saw the commotion going on beyond the bright flashes of the camera pointing at him a woman with a large camera pushed (y/n) to the ground. Dean whispered to his assistant Benny, As (y/n) got up she looked over to the entrance where a man in a suit was looking straight at her. Benny went up to the barrier of media, “Hey, girl in the sweater.” (y/n) looked up and pointed to herself, Benny nodded his head as he made a signal with his hand for the reporters and paparazzi to move, (y/n) now had a clear path and was invited inside by Benny through the back. As she was invited inside she was told to stay there until Dean was available to talk to her. When Benny left she took in her surroundings. It was dark, the light sources only being from the warm lights of the fake candles and rustic chandeliers. She saw many pool tables as well as booths next to it. A bar in almost every corner of each room she was surrounded by. She began walking around slowly clenching her bag, everything was quiet besides the commotion of screaming girls and paparazzi, and the slow clacking of her boots. She approached the pool room where there was a row of 5 pool tables and a bar. Her fingers ran through the smooth green velvet and smooth brown wood. 

“Do you play?” said a deep rusty voice. (y/n) jumped and turned around only to be face-to-face with Dean Winchester. He was tall and intimidating from his broad shoulders down to his dress shoes, His emerald eyes gazed upon her as he asked the question, and she quickly took her hand away from the table. “I’m so sorry, they just told me to wait here.” she smiled awkwardly. Dean could only keep a stern look with a slight smirk while (y/n)’s smile went down as she cleared her throat, “If it’s ok with you, Runway would like to interview you about the grand opening.” she said quietly. 

“I asked if you play,” He said. (y/n) glanced at the pool table, “sometimes, I’m not very good at it.” she uttered. “Let’s take a seat,” he said before leading her to the bar near the pool tables. She sat on the stool, put her hands on her lap, and looked down nervously. ‘Damn he is hot’ she thought. As he came around the bar he said “Cas told me there were supposed to be two of you.” (y/n) almost forgot. “Oh yes, well Jessica came down with the flu and it’s pretty bad so I’m alone for a moment.” she smiled. “Want anything?” he asked as he began grabbing glass cups with the bar logo on them. (y/n) was taken aback, “drinks this early?” she asked him. Dean looked at her while he poured whiskey for himself. “Doesn’t hurt to drink early once in a while,” he said looking up at her with his offer still standing. “Sure, I’ll take red wine if you have it please, and thank you,” she said.

“We can begin with that interview if you want,” Dean said as he poured her wine and slid the cup toward her. (y/n) nodded once more as she began taking out the voice recorder and notes to write along with Jessica’s questions. She began digging through her bag in search of a pencil or pen she had forgotten to pack. “Fuck” she muttered to herself. Dean dug through the inside pocket of his suit and handed her a pen with his company name on it. ‘Winchester Elixirs’. She saw the pen handed to her and gently took it. “Thanks” she mumbled. She pressed record on the voice recorder and set it down between them. She cleared her throat “Um, so, this is for the special article for Runway Magazine, You are young at the age of 26 to have made a popular chain of bars, to what do you owe your s-” “To what do I owe my success?” he interrupted and scoffed. She looked at him awkwardly and nodded “Yep…” 

“Seriously?” 

“Yep…” 

“Okay um… We know that you are a business man but do you enjoy doing things outside of work?” She asked pressing the pen to her bottom lip and looking up at him to answer the question. 

Dean had his hands on the edge of the counter, his grip tensed with his knuckles going white. “I enjoy many physical pursuits as well as managing cars.” (y/n) nodded as she went through Jessica’s questions “You're unmarried- wait no. um… you had a mother that died- oh my god, I’m sorry I didn-” 

“Do you have an actual question Ms…?” 

“(l/n), but you can me (y/n)” she said. 

“Give me an actual question,” he said. She rapidly nodded and brought it down to look at Jessica’s notes. Her head came back up to look at him, and her eyes dropped with sadness. "Um, what is it like being a successful businessman and having to be a family man with your younger brother?"

Dean smirked thinking of his younger brother Sam, "To answer your first question, yes, my mother did die when I was very young. and my brother was only 6 months old. It's hard but. this is our harsh reality, what better way to just drink through it, why else do you think this empire is up and up, causing people to need to drink their thoughts away. Life, death, lousy interviews." he mumbled. (y/n) looked at him with sadness on her face. "Mr. Winchester, I'm so sorry it wasn't my place to ask that," she said. Dean could only look at her, he could tell she was biting the inside of her cheek and gripping her notebook from embarrassment, "Ask another question, go ahead I'm not gonna kill you." he scoffed, (y/n) smiled softly at him as she looked through Jessica's notes once more.

Are you gay?” she asked him with direct eye contact, her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes widened, she just asked a personal question which he answered and now it's led to this ridiculous answer. As she looked back at her notes, she chuckled awkwardly “It’s written here I’m so-’’

“No, (y/n). I’m not gay,” he said with a small smirk and chuckle. She smiled “I’m sorry Jessica can be a little.”

“Intrusive?” 

“More like curious.” 

He saw her, the way her lips were in contact with his pen. He looked up and down at her taking in her curves, her hair, her eyes. “Mr. Winchester, you’re meeting is about to begin in an hour.” Benny interrupted. “Cancel it, I’m a little busy here,” he said to him before he left. “No, it’s ok I can leave if you want me to,” she said softly. 

His emerald eyes looked into hers, “I want to know more about you.” his voice rumbled. She drank a bit of her wine slowly, “There’s not much to know besides this.” she said glancing at the recorder and notes. “What do you like?” Dean asked. (y/n) was thinking for a second before saying “I like music. Especially old 70s Rock, my dad used to play a lot on his record player all the time when I was a girl.”

“Let me take a good guess, You look like a Led Zeppelin gal to me…” he said observing more of her features as he thought. (y/n) looked down for a minute before she laughed softly. “Well I like Fleetwood Mac mostly, and Derek & The Dominos. Those are what I’m listening to the most right now,” she said. Dean hummed. 

“Let’s continue,” he said. (y/n) nodded once more and began asking more questions Jessica had written down even though she was skipping most of them. By the time they were done (y/n) cussed at herself for not asking many questions and even the ones she did ask were dumb and stupid almost everybody knew the answer to them before they even saw his response. “Thanks for the drink,” she said smiling. “I hope you got everything you needed sweetheart.” He said to her. Though she knew he said that to other girls it made her stomach flutter. “Thanks, I think you only answered about five questions,” she said before leaving. “Thank you for your time.” she smiled before leaving the bar. Dean looked down at her bag to see the slip of paper halfway out, so when she turned her head he quickly grabbed the piece of paper from her bag and pocketed the questions, it was then he realized she accidentally took his pen with her. 

When she got in her car she sighed to herself and let out a deep breath. “Holy shit,” she muttered in her head all she could think of was how hot Dean was. The pictures the press took of him were no match for how he looked in person.

When she got home she saw Jessica on her computer with tissues surrounding her. “Jess, what did I tell you about worki-” 

“I fucking love you so much (y/n),” Jessica shouted as the sounds of clicking surrounded the living room. “What?” (y/n) asked in confusion. Jessica looked up at her and smiled big “Dean just emailed me and he answered every question, this is perfect.” She exclaimed. “So…” She said with mischief. (y/n) took off her sweater and threw it on the couch, she looked at Jessica with confusion, “So what?” she asked. 

“What was he like?” Jessica asked with her whole body moving toward her as (y/n) sat down on the coffee table. “Well…he was fine I guess,” she said. Jessica looked at her skeptically, “Fine? Just fine?” she said in confusion. (y/n) scoffed as she began taking off her boots. “Well, he was nice he gave me some free wine. He was very formal…and clean,” she said. Jessica laughed “Clean?” she asked. (y/n) thought about him more oblivious to Jessica laughing. “He was nice, Intimidating…very intimidating. I mean I can understand the hype around him,” she said looking up at Jessica who was grinning at her. “Jess… Why are you looking at me like that?” (y/n) smiled. 

“Like what?” (y/n) rolled her eyes before going to the kitchen to make herself a sandwich. “Whatever Jessica.” she sighed. Jessica was curious one last time and looked him up online. She clicked on images and began scrolling, “But (y/n) you’ve got to admit he is so hot.” (y/n) scoffed “Well, he could be when you're into that…kind of…human.” she said finishing making her sandwich. “By the way, I asked if he was gay. That was so embarrassing. He looked at me like I was a freak.” (y/n) laughed. Jessica apologized. “I'm sorry but hey, whenever we see photos of him he has never been photographed with a woman before so I just thought-”

“Jessica have you ever thought that maybe this guy wants to keep his life private I mean he’s already in the media so much.” (y/n) said. Jessica smirked “Awwe look at you defending him.” she teased.

“I’m going to my room.” (y/n) said with a mouthful of her sandwich. Jessica immediately got up and coughed a bit before jumping in front of her. “Wait, (y/n) I'm sorry. Can you make me some of those too?” she asked politely. (y/n) rolled her eyes before going back to the kitchen to make her a sandwich. “Thanks (y/n). I’ll be right back Mother Nature calls,” she said. (y/n) looked over at Jessica’s computer and saw the images of Dean and his dark blonde hair and emerald eyes, She closed Jessica’s laptop before making the sandwich to try and get her mind off him. 

“(y/n)!” (y/n) turned around to see one of her friends, she smiled as he continued walking next to her. “Hey, James.” she smiled. “So, a couple of friends are going to this photography exhibition and going to dinner afterward. Wanna come?” he asked hopeful she would say yes. He has liked her since she got promoted to their floor with Jessica. “Well that sounds fun but I can’t I’ve got a lot of writing to do for the new Winchester article. So I’ll be in my office all day.” she sighed as she stopped dead in her tracks. James’s face went down slightly “No, it’s fine we can hang out some other time.” he said bringing his arm behind his neck and rubbing it awkwardly. (y/n) smiled “I promise I’ll make it up to you guys, we can hang when Jessica feels better so the whole group can hang. Ok?” she said oblivious to what he was trying to do. James nodded before she walked off to her office. She closed the door and sat down on her desk. She opened her laptop and began writing away. 

It had been a few hours until one of her secretaries called “Hi (y/n), Dean Winchester is asking to see you. Do I send him to your office?” she asked. Her heart skipped a beat, and her stomach fluttered once more. (y/n) picked up the phone “Yeah, Jenna send him in, thank you.” she said. She heard the door knock. “Come in!” she said. Dean Winchester came into her office and looked around. He was dressed in a casual red flannel and jeans rather than his usual tux. “Hey, Please have a seat if you want.” (y/n) said, smiling at him. He continued looking more and saw autographs from celebrities and pictures of her and friends. "Did you want a drink? I have some water and apple juice?" She asked politely, Dean pulled out a chair and sat down "No thanks, sweetheart." He said casually

“What can I help you with?” she asked. Dean looked at her like he was observing her. She was worried if she had something on her face or her teeth. 

“Just wondering if you got the email I sent to your partner?” He asked. (y/n) glanced at him from her laptop “Um. Yes she did thank you for that by the way I know her questions were a bit invasive.” she said with her eyebrows up in sympathy. “No, it’s fine I was more than happy to answer them,” he said to her. “Is that it?” she asked politely. “Did you grow up in this town?” he asked her. (y/n) nodded “Yep born and raised.” she said smiling. Dean smirked “I need to pick up a few things, do you know a grocery store near here that sells whipped cream and zip ties?” (y/n) looked at him curiously “Well there’s a grocery store nearby that sells most of those things, it’s actually around the corner of Rose Street,” she smiled “What on earth are you planning? sounds like a torture device” she joked. “Are you baking something?" she asked curious and oblivious.

Dean smirked at her and tilted his head. “Yeah, what would you recommend I get?” he asked. (y/n) thought for a moment leaning back on her chair. “Well, maybe an apron to cover yourself to protect your clothes.” She said gesturing to his flannel. His smirk grew bigger “I’ll just take off all my clothes.” he said in a low rough voice. (y/n) could almost choke from his statement. “Ok…no clothes– I mean no apron…” She smiled and cleared her throat and began taking a sip of her water. “Thanks, how is your roommate feeling by the way?” 

“She’s a little better, right now she's working a little from home but she's having trouble finding a good photo especially the permissions and stuff so-” 

“If she’d want an original I can swing by here tomorrow,” he suggested (y/n) was taken aback. “You would do that?” she asked softly. “Yeah.” It was as simple as that. He agreed and (y/n) was feeling ecstatic inside. Dean took out his wallet to pull out his business card with his number “I’m staying at the Pacifica Lux Hotel call me anytime.” he said before walking out. “Ok bye…” she waved awkwardly. She leaned back against her chair, she mentally smacked her head from how embarrassing that whole conversation was. She took a deep breath before continuing with her work. She decided to wait until she was home to surprise Jessica.

A/N: Hello! I'm already having fun planning this. Fifty Shades is honestly so bad it's good. Trust me, besides the sex scenes, the plot is kind of good, lmao. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for liking and reposting the announcement, especially to my followers! Again, my suggestion box is open for writing new stories between this book's waiting chapters. Thanks for reading. I'll see you all next Friday!

[welcometoqueer]

Misha giving his support and (angelic) blessing!!

[cas-poisoning]

The bravest soldiers on the planet are switch!deancas truthers… it’s a hard burden to bear but we must carry the truth!!

[uranometrias]

Ballad of the Damned. (Dean Winchester)

→ premise: the one where where the daughter of the Devil's right hand is fighting against every natural inclination to burn the world to the ground. Running from every abuser, and shoving her trauma deep down until she could almost pretend it didn't exist. After five years hidden away from a life of hunting, and fighting, and trying to prove to her family that she could be good, the call of the life is practically forced back upon her when a dream of her demise forces her best friend's boyfriend to invite her along on a road trip to find his father, the monster she'd soon learn was more than a bit responsible for the role she'd play in the end of the world, and the harrowing, horrifying death waiting for her at the end of the line. (▬▬ Though of course, this certain death would have to get through Dean Winchester first, who despite claiming that Shauna Harvelle was 'absolutely not his problem', would rather throw himself into the bowels of hell a million times over before allowing anyone to make her into the monster she'd been bred to become.) .

→ pairing: dean winchester x fem!original character! (though it will be posted on tumblr as x reader so that more people can enjoy it )

→ warnings: angst <3 , based off 'iris' by the googoo dolls, 'wildflower' by billie eilish, 'haunted' by beyonce, 'two birds' by regina spektor, 'head over heels' by tears for fears, 'everybody wants to rule the world' also by tears for fears, 'bring me to life' by evanescence, 'bloody mary + judas' by lady gaga and 'sailor song' by gigi perez. this is quite literally a horrible, terrible story full of hurt and trauma, but there's a happy ending pls give me a chance aha.

<3

→ a/n: idk if this is pathetic, posting about a wattpad fic on tumblr, but i know that tumblr has a very big chunk of the spn fandom, and i wanted to stop being so weird and nervous about writing and just share it because i'm proud of it. <3

𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄 and 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 were an unlikely duo, and unexpected surprise that came about after a year and a half of saving each other's lives, and more importantly protecting Sam Winchester like it was their sole purpose for existing on Earth (▬▬ and to Dean, it had always sort of felt that way.)  Shaun was gentle, having had four years with Sam to learn him as the adult Dean had never met. She was annoyingly sweet towards the younger Winchester, oftentimes getting him in a way Dean didn't. If he was honest, it was the most annoying part of their whole arrangement, feeling like the stranger with his brother.

She called him Sammy, and he never had any quips or qualms about it, and when he'd fall asleep in the front seat of the impala, she'd slip black scrunchies from her wrists and make ponytails in the shaggy mop of hair he'd sported, and she never once received more than a playful eye roll. And she talked, a lot. Talked about anything and nothing at all, she was annoying, Dean knew that from the very first night they'd met. She grated on every single nerve he had, and seemed so oblivious to just how unwanted her presence was. 

She laughed too loud, ate too slow, asked too many questions. Dean thought she slowed them down. Sam believed she forced them to be more careful.

But Dean didn't need to be careful, he needed for his brother to focus, and for the two of them (not the three of them) to find their missing father. Shaun Harvelle,who Sam always called Shaunie in the very same way Dean had always called him Sammy, was a roadblock. She was weird, borderline creepy with the way she was always the last one down at night, and the first one up in the morning. She wasn't forthcoming about her past, and could hardly explain why she as a 'supposed civilian' could take down a Wendigo like a seasoned hunter. 

She was a freak, to that Dean could be sure. (but she was in good company with him and Sam in that regard.) 

She wasn't a monster though. He knew that almost as much as he knew anything else. She was likely the bane of his existence, the one person he hated most in the world, but she was no monster. It didn't matter how much anyone tried to convince him otherwise, because no monster could take care of Sammy the way she did. No monster could tolerate him, and all his aggressively overprotective methods the way she did. Monsters were monsters, they couldn't be both good and bad, and while he could admit Shauna Harvelle was full of a lot of bad, he would light up the entire world if only to proclaim she was still the best of all of them. 

               𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 Dean had been taught to kill the monsters, and save the people. He learned how to protect, how to kill, how to be a damn good hunter. That sort of upbringing came with a few hard lessons, even harder truths, and pills that oftentimes left bitter lumps in their wake when they were forced to be swallowed. One such truth was the one that reminded Dean to never ever forget that a monster could not change. A monster could not be saved, and could not be fixed. There were no exceptions, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If a monster was before him, it was his duty, his obligation to waste them, to send them packing.

Because a monster, no matter how docile, or innocent looking could not be trusted. 

𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐍 was one of those monsters. With her big brown doe-eyes that made it impossible to tell her no, and that annoyingly charming way she would scrunch up her nose when confused, or annoyed, or distracted. Or the stupid stupid way she smiled and made you forget that she was deadly. She was sirenic, alluring, and outright dangerous, but more than that she was settled snugly in the hearts of not one, but two Winchesters, which meant that no matter how many times someone exclaimed that she was making way for the devil's reign, Sam and Dean would go to the ends of the Earth to prove them wrong.

His father had said it on more than one occasion, something-something about a daughter of a friend that happened to be the spawn of a demon, and a nasty one at that. It wasn't like Dean had ever caught her name, wasn't like he'd ever really paid much attention to when his father mentioned other children to him. He had never even laid eyes on her, never listened closely enough to know exactly who this girl was, but the disgust, the disdain that stirred up in his father's eyes at the mention of this unnamed 'little demon girl' never left his mind. It was always enough to remind Dean that there was no room for mercy in hunting. 

(Unlucky enough for him, he never had a real chance to protect himself from the snares of Shauna, she'd been entwined with him from the start. Even when he didn't know it yet. ) 

When he first got into the impala going speeds that should have gotten him a ticket, his goal was to grab his brother, and for the two of them to find their missing father. What he never accounted for, was for Sam to demand that some prissy, talkative, half-pint accompany them on this road trip of a lifetime. She wasn't family, she wasn't anything, just some girl he assumed Sam must have had the hots for deep down, so of course his answer is a resounding no. No strangers in the impala, and definitely no civilians in their personal family business.   

If he had been smarter, luckier, maybe a bit more persuasive, he might have stood a chance. He might have been able to keep him (and Sam) from a lifetime of heartache, trauma, and near-death experiences. But he'd never been the best at saying no to Sam, and that's precisely why for the next year and a half Shaun (who Sam always called Shaunie in the very same way Dean had always called him Sammy) sat in the backseat of the impala offering her two-cents even when it wasn't needed. It was why songs like 'Everybody Wants to Rule The World', and 'Total Eclipse of the Heart',  streamed from the impala more often than not.

Because he never stood a chance against her, and even with all the facts right there in his face, he couldn't find it in himself to give a damn. If Shauna Harvelle was poison like they claimed, he'd have no choice but to indulge until it killed him. He knew (the way everyone else seemed to) that no matter how hard he tried, monsters could not be changed, they could not be fixed, and they could not be anything more than monsters. 

Unlucky enough for Shauna (who was prone to self-sacrifice and giving up) and anyone else stupid enough to come after her, him or Sammy, he was crazy enough to look whatever fate tried to impose itself, right in the eyes and scream fuck you loud enough for all three of them.

[amberjazmyn]

turn me on

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - "i should walk in on you like this more often, it's a real turn-on!" 

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - just a little bit sexy/smutty, swear word (?), yelling

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - you had just finished work, your boyfriend walked in on you naked and gets turned on but not before getting a bit embarrassed.

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 - i don't write a lot of sexy/smut because i personally don't think i'm good at it but, hopefully this will be okay.

masterlist

- - -

it was the middle of the day and you had just finished an exhausting day at work. you had just come out of having a quick rinse off from all the days work at your job. and you stepped out and wrapped yourself in a towel, walking the few steps out of the ensuite of the bathroom and into you and your boyfriend, alex's, shared bedroom of which the ensuite was adjacent to.

you had slipped the towel down your boy as everything was starting to dry and as you went to put on your bra and underwear, out of nowhere, the door creaks open. and you hear a shocked gasp and hear shuffling feet.

"...oh my gosh, luna, i...i am so sorry!" giggling at alex, he had just walked in on you completely naked, not even realising that you were getting dressed, let alone naked

in utter embarrassment, the poor guy covered his eyes immediately and walked out of the room which caused you to laugh again. his voice squeaky and full of embarrassment as he apologised.

"it's okay alex, it was my fault!" you giggled as you had placed your bra and underwear on as you chucked the towel to your bed, not really ashamed of alex seeing you naked

technically, alex walking in on you naked was your fault. you forgot to lock the door like you and alex promised to do so nothing awkward like this would happen. however, the second alex got himself composed, he decided that he'd just, waddle back into the room, sitting on the bed as he watched you get changed.  

and, for some reason, his sudden confidence shocked you. and you turned around, still, only in your bra and underwear.

"so, mr shy alex is gone?" he giggles at your question but just shrugs his shoulders

hmm, okay, is this where this is going? okay then mr kinky little shit, two can play at that game!

"oh...so, you like this do ya?" you wink at your boyfriend as he bites his lip, making you giggle

"a little bit..." he teases, trailing off as you roll your eyes at him after which you pull him in for a long, sensual kiss on the lips

then, he decides to let you get dressed in privacy, but not before being a cheeky little monkey.

"i should walk in on you like this more often, it's a real turn-on!" alex smirks as let's just say, that sentence bloody gave you a heart attack

who knew someone as shy as alex could actually be so confident and have such a kinky, sexy bedroom undressing kink?

you giggled to yourself as you finished getting dressed when you met with alex and his three cast members, jared padalecki, jensen ackles and misha collins back downstairs. for some reason, the moment you and alex made eye contact as you went to grab a glass of apple juice (and, yes, actual apple juice, not the moniker for alcohol), you two couldn't contain your laughter. which, as you'd imagine, caused a lot of confusion with the other three.

"gross, what did we miss this time?" jensen groans as he shakes his head with a side of sass as you giggle

"not a lot, just alex walking in on me getting dressed and getting all kinky over it. you know, the new normal i guess i'll call it!" you call out, alex goes shy again, his face going red whilst jared, jensen and misha's eyes all widen in shock at their normally shy and reserved costar

"say what the fuck now? and we missed it? damn, invite us next time, yeah luna?" misha calls out which makes you almost choke on your apple juice and alex choke on his own saliva

"yeah, what about us luna?" jared joins in as luna chuckles slightly, rolling her eyes at the idjits that she so deeply loved

laughter then erupts throughout the kitchen and living room from what jensen said as you facepalmed. he said something quite crude in regards to the joke that jared and misha made about letting them watch.

"...yeah, totally jensen, i'll let you guys all watch me get out of the shower, seeing me butt naked and then get changed..." you trailed off as for some weird reason, the group, including alex all looked excited

"...oh my gosh, what the fuck? i wasn't serious guys! jesus y'all need therapy and i'm being serious this time! where the fuck is the number of the therapist that singer gave me a month ago?" you spoke, your voice coming to a whisper at the end

as you literally went and looked around the kitchen for the number of the therapist that robert singer, director of supernatural, had given to the actors.

"oh, so wait, luna was joking?" misha speaks up as they then hear you screech from the tops of your lungs because you were seriously having trouble with finding the number of that goddamn therapist

"FUCK OFF MISHA! I WASN'T BEING SERIOUS, NO ONE WILL EVER BE SEEING ME NAKED EVER AGAIN! AND THAT INCLUDES YOU ALEX, I'M WATCHING YOU YOU KINKY LITTLE FUCKER!" you then screech out as everyone pouts in sadness before starting to laugh at how childish they were being

thankfully though, not long after that, the group of five were able to leave the house and get lunch together like a bunch of reasonable and civil adult humans that they claimed to be.

- - - 

i really hope luna found that number for the therapist, seems like they all really need it! 

ok ily bye xx

wc; idk maybe 1'000

[fandomchaosposts]

I know Mr Misha came out as straight and I'll continue to take his word for it (bc ofc) but I've been watching the clip where he accidentally says he's bisexual and idk, I'd really love for him to actually be y'know

[assbuttyourlife]

I don’t think I shared the fiction I’m currently writing so... Here it is. It’s not finished but I update as often as I can, it’s not perfect because english is not my native language, but if you feel like reading a new Castiel x OFC long story, you might like it ;)

Chapters: 22/? Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005), Supernatural Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Castiel/OFC, Dean Winchester/OFC, Sam Winchester/OFC, Castiel (Supernatural)/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Original Female Character Additional Tags: Angst, Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Minor Character Death, Character Death Summary:

Starts during season 11, episode 6. Castiel is stuck in the bunker but can't stop hearing angel radio calling for someone to protect. When he finally goes after Metatron, he stops by Texas to check who it is. (This will be a very long, slow burn story, you've been warned.)

[i-love-dopamine]

WE DID IT MISHA IS TRENDING!!!!

[strawberrryangel]

just watched girl, interrupted!!! for misha. and he was only in like 2 minutes of it but he slayed so hard.

[angel-fruitcake]

at this point Jensen has probably been begging Misha to do a Super Gay destiel spn revival with him bc he literally cannot stop verbally and physically loving all over Misha

[nyamafriend]

the thing abt sexymen. is that they are not intended to be sexy. we turn them into sexymen. in no world was the onceler or bill cipher or sans undertale supposed to be sexy. anyway with all the sexyman polls i think you need to vote for the least sexy options every single time

[thefrogsthewaterturnedgay]

the day jensen's expires as a close second

one day. misha collins' nda will expire. and it'll be the funniest day of our lives

[nyxxiegirlwrites]

Hey! I’m Nyxxie. I’ve dabbled in writing since middle school (34 now) and I’m an avid reader of all books and fan fiction. Supernatural is my main fanfic jam. Dean and Castiel had the best love story that kind of never was. I’m a huge Misha fan and will probably write some fanfic featuring him. Same with Jensen.

It’s been a long time since I’ve written for my own pleasure, but I’ve recently found myself with a lot of free time. I’ve been a caregiver for my grandmother for the past few years, but her health has taken a downturn and I need to here with her all the time.

So hang on as I start writing my first fanfic! Any suggestions on who my first subject should be? Also, any writing suggestions, tips, or tricks are greatly welcomed! I’m still pretty new at this.

Love,

Nyxxie

[amberjazmyn]

my love, my life

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - my love, my life 

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - mentions of deaths of parents from cancer, the birth of a child and baptism of said child, non-religious mom and semi-religious dad, crying, abba music if that's a warning, medical inaccuracies when it comes to pregnancy, inaccurate mentions of coronavirus 

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - with the lyrics of mamma mia's version of abba's song, "my love, my life", we see misha collins' younger sister, elouise collins o'shea and her husband, ollie, have their first child, a little girl called eleanor rebecca, who was born on the same day as and named after her grandmother rebecca tippens. 

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i've had this idea in my head for ages since i have always wanted to write something with the lyrics of "my love, my life" by abba since it's probs one of if not my absolute favourite abba song. as always, the lyrics will be in bold italics, any flashbacks or flashforwards will be in italics and year-stamped so it's not so confusing and present time of the literal baptism will be in regular font. also, just as a repeat newsflash, misha's parents, both of them, are still alive and well from knowledge. however, in this work of fiction, misha's mom rebecca and dad richard, are portrayed as passed on. also, i know misha's no longer with his ex-wife, vicki but, for the purposes of this story due to when it is first set timeline wise, misha and vicki are still together but, by the end of the story, it is then mentioned that they are no longer together like in real life since it was said that they divorced in twenty twenty-two when this particular storyline ends.

masterlist listen to "my love, my life" right here!

- - - 

i've never felt this strong, i'm invincible, how could this go wrong? 

december 28 | twenty twenty

elouise almost screamed but couldn't since she was back at her family home in boston, the rest of her family and her nieces and nephews in the loungeroom where her husband was. this couldn't have been the reason why elouise had been so ill recently, absolutely not was she pregnant and had been for a whole entire trimester already? there was absolutely no way that the positive pregnancy test in front of her and the messages from her obstetrician over the random boston hospital phone app that she had were telling her that she had spent the last twelve/fourteen weeks pregnant with her and her husband ollie's first child and had absolutely no idea whilst also going through the last year of her mother's life due to cancer- rebecca tippens succumbing to the horrific disease a couple of weeks ago, not even, on the fifteenth of this month. 

but, it was absolutely true that elouise was pregnant with her first baby. and it was the fact that if only she found out even two weeks ago, she may have just made it in time to tell her mom about her newest grandchild. and that was what took elouise's strength and invincibility that she had built up since the death of rebecca from one hundred to zero with the click of a finger. elouise was panicking, she was bent over crying, her head resting on the bathroom sink as her iphone filmed the entire thing. she had taken the pregnancy test at first as a joke after vicki, misha's wife and elouise's sister-in-law, suggested it since vicki had recognised the way elouise was sick being the same way she was sick when she was pregnant with her and misha's first child, their eldest son, west anaximander. not once at all did elouise think she was pregnant, sure, she thought she was ill but she genuinely just thought that was due to the grief and stress she had put herself through after the death of her mom rebecca and the broken heart syndrome that her father, richard, had just recently received, a few days after supernatural's last season was announced. 

no, here, here's where we belong, i see a road ahead i never thought i would dare to tread.

after elouise finished her freak-out, she realised that maybe, whilst it was a road she never thought she'd tread, it was a road she belonged driving on. wiping away her tears, elouise picked up the pregnancy test with her shaky hands and she smiled, turning the positive pregnancy test to the iphone camera as she started laughing. 

whispering, she spoke up, "...ollie's going to freak the fuck out! oh my gosh, he's going to be so happy this said positive!" elouise giggled as she then looked down to her tummy which didn't even indicate a 12/14 week baby bump 

elouise then realised because she was going into her second trimester, she was able to tell the rest of her family since there was now no longer any worry about her losing the baby. and then, she started crying all over again when she remembered misha and vicki. misha had always wanted his little sister to have a little baby and now, his dream was finally coming true. but, without their mom with them. 

turning back to her iphone, elouise spoke up again, "i need to tell everyone! but what do i do? i can't just tell them..." elouise trailed off as she tried to think of what she could do to announce the pregnancy to the rest of her family and husband as she quickly pressed stop on her camera recording

that was when a knock sounded on her door and she almost screamed, however, the voice that followed was not who she thought it was, "...sorry, didn't mean to scare you el, it's just vicki here, are you okay? you've been in the bathroom for a while now, what did the test say?" breathing out in relief, elouise unlocked the door so her sister-in-law could let herself in 

letting herself in, vicki closed the door and felt her heart sink when she saw her sister-in-law's teary face however, she wasn't ready for the scream that was to follow, "...i'm pregnant vicki!" elouise squealed out as loudly but also as quietly as possible as vicki's face lit up in excitement 

"seriously? elouise, i didn't even mean to--" 

"--no, don't apologise, vicki! it's a good thing that you recognised my symptoms as being the same ones you had when you were pregnant with west and maison! because i totally wouldn't have, not until i was giving birth anyway it seems like it..." elouise trailed off as vicki looked confused 

"...what do you mean? you can't be that far along, could you?" vicki questioned as elouise nodded her head as vicki's eyes widened 

"vic, i've been pregnant for an entire trimester...if only i found out earlier, i may have been able to tell mom..." elouise trailed off as vicki's face deflated as she moved closer to the younger blonde 

"...oh, babe...elouise i am so sorry!" vicki's voice trembled as she pulled her sister-in-law in for a hug 

like an image passing by, my love, my life, in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life. 

january | twenty twenty-one

elouise and ollie couldn't hide their excitement as they watched their ob-gyn do an ultrasound of their baby.  after giggling over the coldness of the gel that the nurse had placed on her stomach, elouise was entranced by the image on the ultrasound screen. she couldn't believe that inside of her tummy was a growing human being. whilst it wasn't their first ultrasound of their baby, it was still something that blew the husband and wife's minds every single time they came in for a new scan. 

"...mr and mrs o'shea, because of how many weeks the baby is, we are able to tell you guys the sex, is that something you want to know now or would you like to wait until the birth to find out?" the female ob-gyn questioned as elouise and ollie smiled, their excitement doubling 

"may we know now?" elouise asked nervously, ollie nodding his head in agreement with his wife as the nurse smiled and nodded her own head in confirmation 

"of course, you guys can! well, if you just look here, i can tell you that you are having a baby girl!" the ob-gyn was stoked to tell the new parents they were having a little girl, elouise and ollie were silenced by shock 

thankfully though, they weren't silenced for too long as tears quickly slipped from the corner of elouise's eye that was closest to ollie as he wiped them away for her, "we're having a little girl, el! that's amazing, thank you, doctor!" ollie spoke up with excitement as the doctor smiled and nodded her head as she moved the probe across elouise's tummy a few more times 

"my pleasure ollie and elouise, and i can already tell how loved this little munchkin is," she responded as she wiped off the residual gel that had stayed on elouise's tummy, allowing the soon-to-be mum to clean herself up properly

whilst the ob-gyn cleared her own station and led the o'shea's back to the reception desk with the little envelope with the pink piece of paper inside of it stating that their baby was a little girl, she couldn't help but feel her heart breaking for the way elouise reacted. it wasn't a secret that the collins' had just gone through a tragedy. it had been reported on by almost every single american and canadian gossip news site that misha collins and his family had lost their beloved mother, rebecca tippens. and it was obvious that finding out that elouise was now pregnant, not that long after the loss of her mom and now finding out it's a little girl would have been so conflicting and an added bag of emotions for the young girl to be carrying with her. the nurse just hoped that this child, this little girl would be the healing angel that elouise and the rest of her family needed to heal and to see the light at the end of the grieving. 

and, turns out that the ob-gyn was correct, that little girl would be the healing angel that the entire collins/krushnic/tippens family needed. 

i can see it all so clearly, all i love so dearly, images passing by, like reflections of your mind, my love, my life are the words i try to find, my love, my life. 

february | twenty twenty-one

elouise smiled and waited patiently in the green room of an entertainment tonight interview alongside her brother's supernatural cast. she was going to announce publically, to the world, that she was pregnant after it had been rumoured. she was with the supernatural cast because the rumours had gotten so bad that the magazines and journalists had started asking the spn cast and their families about the rumours since elouise hadn't actually told any of them apart from misha and that was only because of the fact they are brother and sister. and because misha had actually found out accidentally whilst elouise was filming an ad for a clothing brand on her instagram. since elouise's last ultrasound scan when she and ollie found out she'd be having a little girl, she had blown up like a little balloon and was starting to show so, it had gotten somewhat harder to hide the bump however, she managed with an oversized white button-down with a flowy skirt. the button-down being tied at the base of her belly button which somehow hid the fact she was ballooning with her little pregnancy bump after not showing for over fourteen weeks. 

"...on this evening's edition of entertainment tonight, we have my personal favourite guests in the world and they are the cast of supernatural and elouise collins o'shea. i interview them and i also find out what i'm being told is the best news in the entire world after this break so don't change this channel..." matt cohen, the interviewer announces as the cameraman then signs that it's a commercial break to which matt moves closer off his seat to speak with his former spn cast and elouise

as he spoke with his favourite guests, matt had a slight idea of what the younger girl's announcement could be but, again, he didn't want to pry nor did he wanna ruin the surprise for himself. so, he didn't even think about what the surprise announcement could even be. so, he continued his conversation like he always did, happy to catch up and also quickly sending his condolences to misha and elouise for the loss of their mom, rebecca, moments before they were back on air. misha and elouise thanked matt sweetly as they both smiled and readied themselves for the interview.

back on the air, matt smiled and introduced the segment before he handed it over to the spn cast and elouise, "...so, as i said before the break, i have the amazing cast of supernatural and the even more amazing, gorgeous young lady, elouise o'shea who is misha's little sister! so, guys, how have you all been? even though we did catch up a little during the commerical break, give us the gossip, what's been happening over lockdown?" matt questioned, getting excited as he noticed the way elouise seemed to be wanting to just already tell him and the rest of the supernatural cast and the world the big surprise news she was even in this interview for

"well, personally for the remaining supernatural cast, we've just been getting ready for our upcoming fifteenth and final season of supernatural. so, we're very very keen for everyone to see it. but, honestly, that's the only thing that's been different to what everyone else has been doing considering we've just been through lockdown just like everyone else has..." jensen chuckled as matt nodded his head and then smiled over to elouise so she could answer for herself

"...umm, personally for me, i've been writing some music in my little home studio and doing some self-tapes for some tv and movie auditions but, ollie, my husband and i also recently returned from our honeymoon since it was postponed. because, for those who weren't aware, ollie and i got married just at the very beginning of twenty-twenty so, right before covid kind of destroyed everything *giggles* and it was only in the last couple of weeks where we were able to safely have a little honeymoon a year later so we went to hawaii for a couple of weeks which was exciting..." elouise trailed off with a giggle as she had to stop herself from suddenly caressing her baby bump - a comfort thing she had since picked up ever since the belly had popped out of seemingly nowhere and instead placed her hands on the couch beside her  

matt smiled sweetly with a head-nod, "...that's gorgeous, i mean, we have got some photos here and where you and ollie were staying just looks absolutely lush! but, obviously, you made sure you were completely covid safe and took all of the precautions *elouise nods her head* that's great. i'm glad you guys had so much fun considering it was still tainted due to the continuing worries of the pandemic..." matt trailed off as elouise nodded her head and smiled as she looked to misha with a cheeky smile as he couldn't hide his giggle

this, obviously, caught the attention of matt and the other costars so, he questioned it, "...what was that about, misha and elouise? care to share with the class? i feel like a teacher saying that but, care to share what's made you two giggle?" matt laughs himself as the collins siblings calm themselves down as misha speaks up

"i think elouise is just ready to reveal the surprise announcement. you see, my little sister can get quite impatient and can sometimes be close to ruining surprises if you make her wait for too long!" misha giggles as elouise shyly nods her head as matt's face relaxes and he smiles, nodding his head as the other costars are still considerably confused

"okay then elouise, come out with it. what is this big surprise announcement that you are so eager to tell us..." matt was being cheeky as elouise bit her lip as misha gripped her hand tightly and she just came out with it

and, truthfully, this was not the surprise annouoncement that matt or jared, jensen and alex thought it was going to be, "...i'm pregnant with me and ollie's first baby..." elouise trailed off, finally allowing her hands to cradle the growing baby bump, misha's hand moving back to his lap as he bit his lip to stop his smile from getting any bigger and stupid

it was silent which freaked elouise and misha out but, it didn't last for too long when matt cheered and stood up. ignoring the fact that he really shouldn't have pulled the newly pregnant woman in for a hug in regular non-covid times. but, especially now due to corona but, he'd known this girl since she was a kid when misha first introduced them to each other before matt was even a news anchor for entertainment tonight. giggling, elouise hugged the floridian host back before she moved out of the hug so she could sit back down as the other three, jared, jensen and alex were in shock at the surprise announcement. they genuinely had no idea that their costar's little sister was pregnant. they knew she had been unwell ever since the loss of her mom, rebecca, but never did they think it was because junior collins was pregnant. but now, it made so much sense to them, especially when they remembered the way vicki immediately rushed up the stairs at the slight sound commotion heard by her from the upstairs bathroom to the right on that day that the three guys came to realise as the day that elouise found out she was pregnant.

jared was the first one out of the three to stand up and pull his costars' sister in for a hug as she giggled, "...congratulations, elouise! you've been pregnant this whole time?" jared whispered as elouise giggled and nodded her head

"yeah, this whole time!" elouise giggled as jensen and alex joined seconds later in an excited group hug as misha watched on

thankfully the hug didn't last too long and matt started to just focus on this new announcement and asked all the questions, "so, elouise, how long have you been pregnant for? because from what it looks like, it looks like you've got a little bit of a bump," matt smiled as elouise smiled sweetly and nodded her head, caressing her little bump

"i found out i was pregnant on the twenty-eighth of december so, not that long after christmas and not that long after misha and i lost our mom. however, i had been pregnant for a whole trimester before finding out that day. so, if i had found out earlier, i may have had the chance of telling this wonderful news of another grandchild to my mom..." elouise trailed off as her smile stayed strong and didn't falter

"...aw, love. do you know the sex of the baby or, is that something you and ollie want to keep a secret until the birth?" matt asks cautiously as elouise nods her head, her smile growing wider as misha was now in shock, he wasn't told the sex and neither, obviously, were the other three

"yes, we do but, the surprise will be for these four, they'll need to wait until the birth but, matt, if you really can't wait that long, i can whisper it to you?" elouise giggled at the end as matt's eyes lit up as he nodded his head, not caring this was live television

matt stood up as elouise followed, grabbing the new's anchor's hands and whispering it to him, matt, if he wasn't on live television, could have burst out into tears but he managed to hold them off, "...congratulations, elouise! oh, this baby is already so loved!" matt whispered back after elouise revealed that she and ollie were having a little girl

"thank you, matt, this baby is so loved," she whispered back as they sat back down

the interview continued even though the excitement of elouise and ollie's pregnancy took over and was still a big topic of discussion on everyone's lips, they continued to mention other things that were also supposed to be talked about. like the details of supernatural's finale season that jensen mentioned and the songwriting and auditions that elouise had mentioned she'd been doing as well.

but i know i don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you, you'll be my love and my life. you're my one and only. 

present time | twenty twenty-two

elouise was running around everywhere like a headless chicken as ollie and their little baby girl stood watching. elouise was trying to sort everything out but wasn't able to due to the way she was so manic about it and, ollie called her out over it.

"...babe, babe, ELOUISE...darling, you won't be able to sort everything out before little one's baptism if you continue to be so manic over it!" ollie chuckled at the end as elouise finally stopped herself and nodded her head in agreement

"sorry babe, it's just..."

"...yeah, i get it, it's hard that she's not here but, just remember who still is here. i'm here babe, you're here, our little one is here. if you keep on freaking out, you won't be able to get anything done..." ollie trailed off before continuing

"...i know your mom wasn't so sure about our future children getting baptised into the catholic church, but the irish catholic church more specifically. but, it's truly only because of the fact that her daddy's irish and, if my own mammy wasn't so insistent, i would have also said no to this happening. but, because i'd get me arse kicked, i compromised...we compromised and said our children would only get baptised and if they so chose to be religious as they got older, they could choose..." ollie smiled as he wrapped his arms around elouise as she smiled and nodded her head

her husband was correct. the only reason why their one-year-old was getting baptised into the irish catholic church at a year old was because of the little girl's irish lineage due to her father being fully born and raised in ireland. because originally, not only elouise but ollie himself was unsure about their children being baptised when it wasn't really a thing that exisited in his wife's family.

"...so, el, what is it you need to get done before we leave?" ollie was calm and he was collected and that was truly one of the reasons why elouise fell in love with him because he always balanced out her impulsiveness and her anxiety-induced living

and, when it came to responding to her husband's question, elouise had no idea how to respond, "umm, i actually don't know..." and that was because everything that needed to be done had already been done so this very situation wouldn't happen even though it was going to happen anyway because it always did

"...thought so, and it's because everything has already been done! we should be in the car driving to the church right now for this one's christening but, because i already suspected that this was going to happen, i rang up the priest in advance just in case. so, your welcome baby, now can we make out way out of this house and to the church, please?" ollie tilted his head to the side with a cheeky smile as elouise opened and then closed her mouth and smiled, shaking her head

"thanks, ollie. i'd really be losing the plot if i didn't have you with me," elouise whispered as she moved closer to her husband and daughter, her lips almost caressing her husband's face as he pulled away with a chuckle

"not here babe, we need to go watch our daughter's christening and your welcome and i too would lose the plot if i didn't have you with me," ollie spoke as the husband and wife left it at that with their conversation and made it out of their house to their car

on their drive to the church for their daughter's christening into the irish catholic chruch, which would be photographed by people magazine, elouise felt a calm rush over her. her husband was right, she should really stop making her focus be on those who she no longer has with her. even though it included her parents, rebecca and richard, richard lost his battle with broken heart syndrome ten months after rebecca, a couple of months after elouise had given birth to her and ollie's little girl.

i held you close to me, felt your heart beat and i thought: i am free. oh yes, and as one are we in the now and beyond, nothing and no one can break this bond. 

may | twenty twenty-one

elouise hadn't felt this kind of pain in her life before but, it was a pain that she was sure she never wanted to feel again...even if it meant she never gave her daughter any more siblings. but, in all truthfulness, this pain was surely going to be forgotten about any moment when she...

...hears the cries of her little baby girl for the very first time...

"...here's your little girl, elouise and ollie. isn't she just gorgeous?" hayley, elouise's midwife and smiled as she handed over the baby girl as elouise choked down a happy sob, her arms cradling her baby girl as though it was a regular instinct - as if in a past life elouise had been a mother before

"she's beautiful, oh my goodness, we made this baby, ollie!" elouise turned to her husband who smiled tearfully as he nodded his head

"yeah we did babe, we made out little miracle, babe!" ollie sniffled, wiping away a tear with his shoulder as he slowly sat himself down on the edge of the hospital bed, his hand reaching up to touch the top of his newborn's head

"wow...we're parents, ollie. we actually have our little family! we have our little dog, our husky girl bambi and now we have our little eleanor rebecca..." elouise trailed off, tears hitting her eyes as she realised she had just said the name of her baby girl out loud for the first time

and it made both ollie and hayley smile, "...so, is eleanor rebecca this little pretty's name?" she asked, rolling her wheely chair towards the computer to write up the birth certificate as both parents, elouise and ollie nodded their heads

"yeah, eleanor rebecca is her name...rebecca for her middle name since that's her grandmommy's name and because they were born on the same day and eleanor as her first name since it's my middle name," elouise explained as hayley nodded her head, knowing the significance of the little girl's name

"that's beautiful, elouise. however, because little eleanor rebecca is earlier than her due date in august, we do have to place her in an incubator, however, once she reaches a certain weight, she'll be able to leave. is that all okay?" hayley asks, knowing how daunting it can be from being so happy with your newborn in your arms to them then being taken away to a different room

and elouise and ollie smiled, both understanding that they couldn't hold onto their little girl forever like many other mommies and daddies who had their babies on time, "absolutely fine, hayley. thank you for telling us, we'll be glad to hear that she'll be able to gain some more weight since she is really tiny," elouise spoke up, only now realising just how tiny their little eleanor was as ollie too only realised

"wonderful, well, if you two want to, we can either have the grandparents and godparents meet little eleanor in here or we can place her in the incubator and have them meet her in there. which would you prefer?" hayley then asks as elouise and ollie smile, they could choose how their family meet their little bundle of joy

"we can choose?" ollie choked out in shock as hayley giggled and nodded her head with a smile, making elouise and ollie smile

"absolutely you can! however, if you do want for them to meet eleanor in here, it can only be for five minutes per person before i'd have to then take her and place her into an incubator a couple of floors above us. is that okay?" hayley questioned as ollie and elouise nodded their heads straight away

"that's absolutely fine, hayley! we just want them to see her, they've waited for so long already, i feel selfish enough making them wait whilst we have this conversation," elouise giggled as hayley nodded her head and encouraged ollie to fetch his parents, eleanor's grandparents and the godparents, who were obviously misha, elouise's older brother and jared and genevieve padalecki since misha was no longer married to vicki, his now ex-wife.

so, that's what ollie did, like the proud husband and father he was, he wiped away his tears with a tissue. placed it in his jeans pocket, gave a kiss to his two girls and rushed down the hallway to announce the happy news.

like an image passing by, my love, my life, in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life. i can see it all so clearly, images passing by 

june | twenty twenty-one

the last time elouise sat in an interview with matt cohen, she was in the second trimester of her pregnancy with her little eleanor rebecca and now, she was just a month gone from giving birth to the little girl. since it was the twenty-ninth of june, this interview today was.

and, in the audience, slightly behind the camera was her husband ollie, their little girl eleanor and eleanor's godparents misha, the padaleckis and the rest of eleanor's uncles and aunties who were jensen and danneel and other spn cast members watching the solo interview.

with the show on the air, matt introduced his guest, "...on today's show, i have my favourite guest on the show. you know her pretty well because the last time i interviewed her, it just felt like yesterday when it february, only a few months ago, she announced her first pregnancy with her husband on live television with her brother's supernatural cast...it's only elouise collins o'shea sitting with me today on our brand new couches everybody!" matt introduced as that earned a lot of applause as elouise giggled and applauded

"haha, thank you for that wonderful introduction matt, it's great to be back being interviewed by you and on this new couch, oh my goodness, so comfy!" elouise giggled after pulling out from the hug matt pulled her into as she sat back down, crossing her right leg over her left, slanting them to the side

"isn't it so comfy? i'd sleep on these couches if i could *giggles*. oh my goodness, it is so lovely to see you again and to catch up since, like already mentioned, the last time you were here, you announced that you were pregnant with you and your husband's first baby. and then just after that we spoke only briefly during my interview with misha at the end of may since you were in the background and you were just about to pop weren't you?" matt pointed and brought it back to rest on his lip as elouise giggled and nodded her head

"yes, i was about to pop! literally hours from giving birth *giggles* so, my due dat was originally in august of this year so, in two months...one month basically. but, no, the little one said absolutely not mommy, get me out of here now! *giggles* and i had to be induced and have the c-section to get her out and, she was a preemie baby but, thankfully she gained weight pretty quickly and within a couple of weeks i think, we were able to bring her back home with us," elouise nodded as she smiled as matt smiled as well

"aw, isn't the little one just gorgeous, falling asleep in daddy's arms," matt cooed, his eyes captured by the little sleeping girl as elouise's eyes followed and she nodded her head with a small giggle

"i know, i still can't believe she's ours. like, i was fine with just having our little husky, bambi for a little while before starting to try. but, apparently, we didn't even need to try," elouise giggled as matt and the audience giggled as well

"seems as though you didn't *giggles* but, back to this little bundle of joy because, you and ollie have obviously picked out a name for her, but, it's quite a special name, isn't it? would you like to tell us what the name of your beautiful little girl is?" matt introduced, even though he was already told, he was still hanging to see how the rest of the audience (minus the family who of course already knew) was going to react

"of course i can, matt. so, our little baby girl's name is eleanor rebecca o'shea *coos* and the reason why she is called eleanor rebecca is that one, eleanor, her first name, is my middle name and two, rebecca, her middle name, is the name of misha and i's mom. we also came up with that name ages ago not even thinking what day eleanor was going to be born on either..." elouise trailed off as matt smiled

"...so, what day was little eleanor born on, may i ask, elouise?" matt questioned as his eyes sparkled with excitement as elouise smiled, her concentration going to the very little girl and her brother who was teary

"she was born on the twenty-ninth of may, the same day as her grandmother, rebecca," elouise smiled, her own tears building in her eyes, managing to will them away as matt's face relaxed and he smiled sweetly

"aw, that is so special and that is crazy because that was the same day we saw you for the last time briefly in my interview with misha, elouise. so, you were moments away from popping!" matt smiled, a still of his zoom interview with misha and just a little peak of six-month about to give birth pregnant elouise

"i know, it was absolutely terrifying as well matt because it was like, the second your guys' interview finished, my contractions started. and bam, misha, myself and ollie were off to the hospital and after trying to have eleanor naturally, my midwife, hayley, came back to us and said we had to c-section because eleanor wasn't in the right position since she was so small. so, the only other safe way to get eleanor out and delivered alive was to have her c-sectioned and i'm forever grateful that we did do the c-section otherwise i wouldn't have my little love," elouise explained as matt smiled and nodded his head, the audience watching in awe

aw, bless. and speaking of the little one, how old is she now?" matt questioned as elouise's eyes widened, how old was her daughter? what day was it? was today the twenty-ninth or the thirtieth of june?

"uhh, shoot, what day is it today?" elouise asked in a hilarious panic as misha reached for his phone

"it's the twenty-ninth, el!" shouting back to his sister, elouise metaphorically clutched her pearls, grateful that her in-head counting was indeed correct along with the finger counting she hadn't been so secretive with as she liked

"oh, thank god! she is a month old! oh my goodness, i didn't count wrong!" elouise could only giggle at her baby brain in the same way she laughed over her brothers, ex-sister-in-law's as well as the rest of the spn family's baby brains when the ones that did had their children

"wow, she's already a month? that's crazy how time flies, soon it'll be two!" matt was in shock as elouise nodded her head and she turned after hearing the crowd coo in aw only to see a photo elouise had posted of the day she, ollie and little eleanor left the hospital

"i know, don't start me off, matt. it makes me so emotional that she's already a month!" elouise giggled as she turned back from the photo back to matt to continue the interview

the interview continued on smoothly, except for a couple of times when eleanor cried out for her mommy. the second time ollie had apologetically brought up the little one so she could be held by her mommy for the rest of the interview. where in which she stayed silent the rest of the interview, content in her mommy's arms, her tiny little hands gripping tightly to her mommy's pinky finger.

like reflections of your mind, my love, my life, are the words i try to find, my love, my life. but i know i don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you. 

present time | twenty twenty-two

walking into the irish catholic church with her little bundle of joy, her little eleanor rebecca, elouise was happy. she was content and she was in peace. even though none of her family, including her parents, rebecca and richard, weren't so sure on the irish catholic baptism of their granddaughter, it was still upsetting that they weren't there to witness it. because whilst they weren't really wanting it, like elouise and ollie weren't, they wouldn't have disrespected the event because they knew that it was a compromise made by the parents and grandparents of eleanor that she would be baptised and if she got older and wanted to go further in the religion or not, she had that choice to. but, honestly, elouise had truly made peace with that ages ago, way before the situation in the house had happened before they left. it was truthfully just a moment of vulnerability for elouise and she had no other way of describing it other than her missing her parents, her mom especially.

in her flowing champagne-coloured wrap dress, elouise held her daughter as eleanor's christening dress overwhelmed her because of how big it was. elouise held her as she walked through the hall of the church and towards the priest, her husband ollie and eleanor rebecca's godparents, misha and the padalecki's, jared and genevieve.

elouise smiled in a joy that could have only been described as overwhelming. she knew every single person in this church: first, her brother misha and his two beautiful now grown-up children, west and maison; the padalecki family, jared and geneiveve and their three gorgeous kids, thomas, shep and odette and last but not least, the ackles family, jensen and danneel and their three beautiful kids, jj, zeppelin and arrow. and that was just the "main" supernatural family, there was no use in introducing every single guest and their families and their plus ones that sat in this church for eleanor rebecca o'shea's christening. however, it just really reiterated to elouise how loved this little one-year-old baby girl was to so many people that weren't her direct family.

elouise basked in the flashing lights from the photographers but made sure to still shield little eleanor's face just in case the lights still frightened her like they used to. however, in a cheeky, sly move, the little one-year-old smacked her mommy's hand away and seemed to stare right down the barrel of one particular photographer's camera. of course, this shocked both mom and dad but also made them snicker at the same time as elouise then looked up and blood rushed to her ears in an instant.

elouise couldn't help the blank, emotionless stare she shared towards the female photographer that little eleanor had also seemed to be entranced by. it was just that...the young photographer looked scarily similar to her mom, rebecca tippens. that was until the young girl had completely morphed into elouise's mother and the young mom was glad she didn't completely drop her little eleanor rebecca herself.

it obviously scared the crap out of elouise that she was the only one that was seeing her own mother in this female photographer but, she continued to zone out until a little side tap from her husband, ollie. it was only then that elouise fazed out from the void she was in and noticed that the young female photographer no longer looked like her mom and continued to photograph the christening. little eleanor rebecca taking a liking to the girl.

"...oi, el, babe, what was that all about? you okay?" ollie later questioned as he held eleanor rebecca after they finished the walk back up to the church foyer now that eleanor rebecca had been christened

"yeah...yeah, i'm fine babe. just, that female photographer, the one with brown hair looked scarily similar to mom, that's all..it seemed as though little eleanor rebecca thought so too..." elouise shook her head and rubbed her eyes, feeling like she was going insane as ollie smiled, gently kissing his wife's golden hair

"...i thought i was the only one who noticed that. she did look so much like your mom, i secretly hoped she'd do the dramatic movie reveal thingy, coming out with the dramatic news that she was your long-lost sixth sibling," ollie chortled as elouise cackled, her head shaking

"oh shut up, ollie...she is not our long-lost ninth sibling, you utter doofus. besides, the more i looked at her afterwards, i saw the differences that truly sold it to me that she wasn't anyone in the family that we should have been told about," elouise giggled as she grabbed eleanor rebecca from him as ollie nodded his head

"okay, that's good to know babe, i'll be back in a moment, i promised misha and the kids that i'd touch base with them after the christening, see you soon darling, i miss my two girls already!" ollie shouted after he had left his two girls with kisses to their heads as that allowed the padalecki's to swoop in to have a conversation with the mother and newly christened daughter

"...hey, jared and gen! tom, shep and odette! did you three behave?" elouise lit up in excitement, hugging all five of them as the kids nodded their heads to their aunty elouise

"they behaved exceptionally well, elouise, they were quiet the whole entire time. and, also, just a quick note, did you notice the female photographer right at the front that looked ridiculously like your mom?" gen whispered at the end, just in case she felt like she was insane as elouise giggled and nodded her head

"good to hear they behaved and, yes, i did and so did little eleanor rebecca. did you see the way she smacked my hand away when that lady's camera started flashing?" elouise giggled as gen and jared both nodded their heads

"it was absolutely bizarre, i thought i was going crazy when i turned around to see her," jared spoke up this time as elouise nodded her head in agreement

"i thought so too! i then had that weird moment where after looking at her for too long, she actually turned into mom which was even weirder. but, i then saw the things that was the reminder that she wasn't my mom," elouise giggled as she bopped eleanor rebecca up on her hip higher since she started to slip

the padaleckis stayed to chat with elouise and eleanor rebecca until daddy had come back from his conversation with brother and the niece and nephew, misha, west and maison and happily picked up eleanor rebecca when she reached out for him. allowing elouise to build up her arm strength again after feeling like they were going to fall off.

you are still my love and my life, yes i know i don't possess you. with all my heart, god bless you, you are still my love and my life

present time | twenty twenty-two

elouise softly started to sing the song that was playing during the mamma mia: here we go again movie when she finally looked up from playing with eleanor rebecca and realised the song she had been singing the entire time...

...she had been singing along to my love, my life without even consciously realising it whilst the entire christening scene of sophie and sky's baby was going on during the duration of the song. and it reminded elouise of eleanor rebecca's christening that had just happened the day before. it was sort of ironic because the scene that was playing in front of her was the exact same scene that played in elouise's head when she saw that female photographer that looked ever so similar but yet still so different to her mother.

she then grabbed her phone and quickly put together a little instagram post dedicated to her little girl, her love and her life: eleanor rebecca.

liked by ollieoshea, misha, jaredpadalecki, jensenackles, genpadalecki and 9k others

elouisecollinsoshea you're my one and only eleanor rebecca 🤍

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ollieoshea my two beautiful girls 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea ollieoshea my beautiful man 🤍

misha absolutely gorgeous 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea misha thank you mish🤍

jaredpadalecki pretty baby girl 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea jaredpadalecki isn't she just jared 🤍

jensenackles eleanor rebecca is gorgeous, elouise 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea jensenackles i mean, her parents are also gorgeous so it makes sense 

genpadalecki beautiful baby and baby momma 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea genpadalecki truth has been told 🤍

mattcohen4real eleanor rebecca is beautiful, elouise 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea mattcohen4real thank you, matt! she is truly everything i could have dreamt of for my first baby 🤍

- - - 

and this is finished! woo, what a fun time writing this but it was difficult! i am also kind of proud of the kind of mamma mia/elouise moment i added in there but, i think it could have for sure been written better, right now, i like it. also, just to reiterate, misha's parents are alive and well from what we know! and also, i totally made up the fact that matt cohen has his own tv show but whatever!

ok ily bye 

wc; 7337