#mirabel-core: I see me…all of me

[lucabyte]

i'm so curious about your character gender reads now tho 👀👀

(You enter the kitchen and see me, eating shredded cheese out of the fridge by the handful)

(I turn around to face you.)

Hi. Do you want me to sell you on amab NB Siffrin? I'm going to try and sell you on amab NB Siffrin. And maybe even a little bit of tranfem siffrin and/or loop. as a treat. just for you.

So, (I put the cheese back in the fridge.)

This read of mine comes from a number of things, a lot of them to do with the game's themes, and to do with Siffrin being a narrative foil to the other characters. And Vaugarde as a whole.

(READMORE WARNING: THIS IS LIKE 6K WORDS LONG. YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW BY NOW I DON'T MAKE POSTS WITHOUT UNCONSCIOUNABLE AMOUNTS OF EVIDENCE AND EXPLANATION. IF ANYTHING I'M BEING RESTRAINED HERE. THUMBS UP.)

(Pre-readmore note: this is in response to me having given an analysis of how I personally percieve Sifloop in relation to asexuality and shipping. Which you can look at here. (x))

It is however, not what my like, no-holds-barred no-rules just-for-me headcanon for Siffrin would be. (which is intersex 'head empty no thoughts' siffrin, for the record). This is instead my close-reading-of-the-text-and-themes interpretation of Siffrin. This is why I'm gonna be saying Read and not Headcanon, to distinguish the two. (Anything I consider a little bit too much of a stretch vis a vis interpretive hard reads I will call a headcanon. But those are for the last bit of this post.)

Unlike *gestures at mass media* All That… ISAT is already packed to the gills with queer rep, to the point where I feel no need to grasp at straws and make overextended reaches into obviously unintended subtext. Like with, y'know, most media. Since here, the subtext isn't unintended. Like this isn't a Transfem Metal Sonic or Aroace Ash Ketchum situation where I know none of the evidence is on purpose and I'm just having fun making a conspiracy theory pinboard out of it. This is like… There's intentionality there. And I want to engage with it on its level, see what the text itself suggests. It's my personal preferred method of expressing deep respect to a text. (Not that it has to be anyone else's, obviously. This is just my way of showing I love a work.)

So yeah, I am, in general, very interested in hearing hard-fought arguments when it comes to interpreting texts. I'm glad ISAT has a lot to pick at here, and so, I will. (and since not a lot of texts ever have anywhere near this kind of depth in this arena, i don't wanna squander it… i'll try and keep my own biases as in check as i can, and already have done by hashing quite a bit of this interpretation out with two people of very different gender identities to mine. To put it mildly, binary-aligned or transfem I am very squarely Not.)

(Now that the cheese bag has been removed from the equation, I drop this framing device, sit you down at the table and begin to dredge up evidence from below it.)

Okay, so. What are my like… Core reasonings here? I think I can split it into three categories. Broadly, with an amount of overlap, so bear with me…

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Okay so up top I'm going to split my argument for Siffrin's gender identity Present and Future here. This means, for now, I'm arguing for AMAB NB Siffrin alone. The transfem stuff is for later (and more for loop, in my mind, too).

I have a few direct observations of the text here that set things up. Here are the things in-game that make me assume that Siffrin, as of the start of the game, has not yet undergone any radical change to their identity in their life. Not on purpose, at least. These are ordered in a messy but logical flow, so uh, try and keep up. I'll synthesise at the end. I Prommy.

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

CHANGE & THE UNIVERSE: PERCEIVED OPPOSITES

When interacting with most objects in the Changing Room in the house, they express a genuine curiosity toward body craft. It seems they are legitimately unfamiliar with it on a deeper level than having simply heard of it.

Despite this curiosity (explicitly stating they've previously wondered about it), they dismiss it as too much work early on in the game. These points combined seem to suggest to me that they have never previously sought out any kind of real change to their appearance or identity. Either for gender reasons, or other body dysmorphia reasons. (Which, despite the dismissal, they do refer to their body as a 'meat prison', which is not particularly positive) However...

This changes in Act 3. In acts 3 and 4 they flatly state: "You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now." While still never spoken aloud, their declining mental state corrosponds with a worn-down, almost nihilistic reckoning with the feelings they masked with the 'meat prison' joke in act 2.

[Image: Interactions with the change craft textbook in acts 2 and 3/4.]

In talking to Mirabelle, they are very self assured that one can stay the same/be comfortable with their born identity. They also seem a little unsettled by the change religion's flippancy in general, which makes sense, as they have been clinging to the famliar (even when painful) to cope with other traumas. (More on this later, section 2)

The Universe Faith appears to heavily disincentivise Wanting for oneself and other expressions of Free Will due to safeguarding against Wish craft. This seems to have impacted Siffrin's mental state majorly, even if they do not recognise it. The followers of the faith are (if Siffrin is to be believed) incentivised to 'go with the flow' and take paths of least resistance, and those that DO make big decisions will tend to justify things as being The Universe's Will. (See: The King's entire Modus Operandi, and the way Loop (and Siffrin) do the same rote actions, constructing worldviews (the play analogy, the Universe's Will) and justify that as what the Universe Would Want (despite a total lack of evidence to prove as such)) As such, it seems as if a follower of this faith as neurotic as Siffrin would be unlikely to act upon any Wants to Change Themselves without a lot of turmoil and backwards-justification. (Of note, Loop's forcible change coinciding with a dropping of pronoun. But that is again for later, section 3) As of the start of the game, they do not appear to have broached this kind of turmoil directly.

[Image: Act 5 interaction with the star journal, emphasis on it being a cautionary tale against reckless usage of wish craft, instilled so deeply to be a children's bedtime story]

Siffrin, in act 5, grows frustrated with both The Universe and The Change God, feeling abandoned by the former. They struggle with simultaneously anthropomorphising the Universe as a cruel onlooker, while also seemingly acknowledging them as a cold, almost scientific fact of nature. This would heavily imply that the 'blame' put upon the Universe by Siffrin in these moments is known to them, at least a little, to be potentially meaningless. It seems that somewhere in Siffrin's belief system is something, be it the core or merely a creeping worry, that the Universe is not a thinking, feeling, thing. And thus that their invocations of "The Universe's Will" are merely rationalisations of random chance and consequence. This is in DIRECT contrast to the Change God, proven to be an emotive sapient entity, who merely refuses to offer a helping hand. (Similar sentiments are, too, spoken by the Change God itself.)

[Images: Interacting with the window in the observatory in act 5, text from the change god meeting]

So. These are the bulk of my observations when it comes to how Siffrin is positioned in contrast to the Change Belief. It would seem to be that Siffrin, inkeeping with their role as an outsider, is a complete fish out of water in Vaugarde's change-centric world. This makes sense! It makes them a compelling foil to the Vaugardians in our cast, and allows the Vaugardians to challenge Siffrin's worldviews merely by existing. It also, more importantly, makes Siffrin an interesting lens through which to inspect our two most Change-driven characters. Mirabelle and Isabeau.

MIRABELLE.

Mirabelle and Siffrin's differing faiths are put on display the most frequently. Interactions like the circle key and the party's disbelief of Siffrin's facts about the stars make this clear. These interactions other Siffrin from the group further, and are another avenue through which Siffrin can ignore their own needs, not communicating with the party and allowing them to dismiss things he deems important.

Obviously, the friendquest is primarily about Mirabelle's struggle with her aromanticism and asexuality. But there's an implicit undercurrent of gender there too. Mirabelle has never made a big change, not like Isabeau. She has never 'changed completely', by her words. And Siffrin distinctly finds this an odd thing to be worried by. Whatever culture he carries has no pressure to explore these avenues, it seems. Siffrin is able to help her by sharing their honest opinions, that he's never felt the need to change these things, and he's happy (allegedly). Why should she?

[Image: Mirabelle's friendquest text] Siffrin is not thinking particularly hard when he first does the friendquests, they are just being themselves. By positioning Siffrin as this unchanged yet confident object, they are in the perfect position to help Mirabelle by being in her almost exact position, both sexuality and transgender status (albeit, with the caveats of potential alloromanticism, and a they pronoun), that they become her ideal foil. (And in fact, the subtle differences between their positions in canon add to this, showing a display of Perceived Genuine Truth, rather than simple in-group camaraderie)

Whereas…

ISABEAU.

When Mal du pays speaks as Isabeau, it says the following;

"I don't want to know someone who won't even try to change, who luxuriates in things staying the exact same like you do."

I don't want to know someone - Shame of being known, that's Isabeau's insecurity. Reflected back at Siffrin, who has become the worst thing imaginable to each of their friends, in Siffrin's own mind. He absorbs their insecurities like a sponge and incorporates them into himself. Empathy turned ill.

Who luxuriates in things staying the exact same - Now THAT'S interesting. This is not Isabeau's insecurity, it's Siffrin's own. But also, it appears as if, Siffrin, whom to Mirabelle was unflappable in that not changing was alright, has internalised some of her worry. That it is MDP's Isabeau saying this, though, shows this is about Personal Change, perhaps even Specifically Gender and Self Image, rather than Mirabelle's spiritual side.

Isabeau and his distinct change in personality and gender, to become someone who he actually likes… Diametric to Siffrin, who has been stagnant for a long time, presumably as far as they can remember. It would seem to imply they have no recourse against this argument. Siffin becomes, in his mind, the opposite to Isabeau, a man he deeply admires the bravery of when told the story of his Change. These are Siffrin's words against themselves, that they consider themselves to have never even 'tried' whatever it is they think Change to be.

So. These are my main points vis a vis: Siffrin as a foil. This reading would posit that Siffrin's He/They status is, well, almost accidental? Which I would imagine befitting of them. They are, at the start of the game, still the mysterious rogue who never elaborates upon anything. They aren't going to be correcting a they/them from a teammate who is likely far more cautious about assumptions.

Notably, Mirabelle excludes Siffrin from the label "man" in the bathroom monologues… But as does Siffrin when in the prologue poem room. Though one needs remember, Siffrin only expresses these thoughts internally.

[Image: Bathroom conversation featuring Isabeau identified as the party's singular man]

[Image: Prologue!Siffrin expressing that they are not a man in very certain terms.]

While I do wonder what Mirabelle's knowledge (or lack thereof, potentially! Did Siffrin actually divulge this to her, once? Or is she making assumptions again?) is here, this is pretty clear evidence that Siffrin doesn't see themselves As A Man. (that, and Adrienne's word of god "fella" comments). I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this… but.

The thesis here is, that Siffrin may want to explore their gender further; doesn't feel connected to Masculinity, and yet, keeps that He pronoun around? Well, the Universe does not, in Siffrin's mind, really allow for personal wants and desires. If their friends start they/themming them, then cool. They like it, but never requested it, so it's the Universe's will. But, asking? Making decisions and requests and rocking the boat? That seems to scare Siffrin a lot. It seems to scare them so much it causes a lot of, if not all of, the conflict in the game. I feel like it's a fair deduction that this aversion to humour their own desires pervades a lot of their existence.

Plus, I think there's meat there. By only allowing Siffrin to reckon with any potential desires to change only after growing closer with the family, you get to explore things like "How does Mirabelle feel that even the person who said she didn't have to change is changing." and the slightly less potentially harrowing (OR MORE, IF YOU WANT IT TO BE? IDK. I'M NOT YOUR BOSS.) "Isa's continued changing allows Siffrin a space to explore it, maybe even just by proxy, or maybe by joining them."

But mostly, this section is about how Siffrin not having Changed Yet makes them delightfully strong narratively; allowing them to relate to Mirabelle, and get cold feet when comparing themselves to Isabeau. I love this as a narrative strengthener. It's very rare in media that we get to explore a nonbinary character's thoughts and insecurities on whether or not they're "doing enough" to be nonbinary. Even less so Aligned nonbinary people. And reading that alignment and insecurity through the lens of a nonbinary person not fully disconnected from their assigned gender at birth? It's a very compelling exploration of a very common and raw and yet underdiscussed feeling, much like the rest of ISAT. I think this is an extremely potent element should it be read this way, and is only strengthened when taking Siffrin's other themes into account.

Speaking of which.

2. SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

HOLDING ON TO WHAT YOU KNOW. (OR KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT.)

I explained above many of my thoughts on the Universe Faith, and trying to keep these two sections separate was difficult, but needed to be done for the sake of clarity. But this section and the above are deeply intertwined.

Siffrin… Holds on to the things they know. They do not know much. But man do they fucking hold. And yet, paradoxically, they are also avoidant about it.

It is made clear in the text, to the point where I really don't feel the need to rehash it here, that Siffrin's disconnection from their homeland is incredibly painful, but that they consider that culture utterly and irreplaceably important to them. They cannot face it, it is too painful. They cannot let it go, it is too important.

Knowing what we know of the Island's irl inspirations (though, word of god, the exact location is not supposed to matter, one can infer it from the text (and I did! within reasonable proximity!)), Siffrin is of an indigenous peoples of some description, more than likely. And at the very least, Siffrin carries with them inherent biases and ignorances that show that Vaugarde's conceptions of things don't quite mesh with their own. Bowing to the Vaugardian way of things could very easily be seen as assimilation, in this way.*

And identity? Gender? Presentation? Role? All of that has a cultural element. There's no telling what specifics Siffrin has lost in that arena, and that's the problem. Neither do they. How paralysing, the feeling, to know that should you change yourself you risk unknowingly erasing another piece of home? I wouldn't blame them for locking it off. Keeping their old clothes, keeping what little they can remember of themselves… It doesn't seem to me a conducive or safe mental space to get experimental.

And the Universe makes for a perfect scapegoat. As referenced in the section above, a lot can be justified should you call it "The Universe's Will", because who's there to call you on it? Hardly anyone. Your divine right to Freeze A Place In Time; Your Deserved Punishment for Wanting to be Loved: All of it the Universe-- If you want it to be. And thusly, if the Universe wanted you to be a certain way, wouldn't you already be? Wouldn't it make you so? (Wouldn't it take away your body, that which makes you human? If that is what it thought of you?) So best to put it out of your mind. Wouldn't want to accidentally wish anything.

But as the game itself puts it, personified by The King, you cannot stay mired like this forever. As Loop themselves puts it, they can "get so fixated, sometimes." At some point they need to allow themselves to grow in whatever direction they need, because in the end, they need to live their life. They don't need to abandon their country, their culture, but they can't let it restrain them either.

(* MASSIVE CAVEAT: im white as fuck boyyy. i cant say shit. im like technically Of The Land im like 90% pictish or something ridiculous like that so my particular line has never moved anywhere but. this is notttt something i have input or insight on. this is all gleaned from reading and listening to indiginous perspectives from wherever they may be. i am simply trying to infer from what the game gives us without inserting my own feelings on the matter.)

3. SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Alright, here's some less heady and purely-thematic points to round things out. And where we'll also address the fucked up star being in the room; Loop.

My last couple of reading points are the most potentially-transfem to me. Or at least the ones that really hammer home, to me, a seeming lack of want to be masculine-aligned.

ANOTHER NOTE ON THE 'NOT A GUY' THING.

Obviously, there is the aforementioned "Not a man/not that you're a boy" thing. This is rather straightforward, but also still pretty ambiguous. You can be masc-aligned and still Not A Guy. But it does seem to be of note that being a guy very much does not seem to be a goal of Siffrin's. I would posit this in direct contrast to… Isabeau.

But not Isabeau's masculinity. I would instead hold it up against Isa's femininity.

ISAT, as a text, has its characters have genuinely different levels of security in their gender identity, and Isabeau, despite still having insecurities, seems super chill on the gender angle specifically! Their internal strife comes not from their 'not feeling like a man enough' or 'hating being a woman', but instead from their self perception as a friendless nerd! Something that seems to be only tangentially related to Isa's gender, really?

The big dumb bruiser thing is certainly aided by being a dude, but Isa still seems completely comfortable referring to themselves with feminine language, calling himself a "mother hen" (prologue) and having "the heart of a fair maiden" (cookie snack time). (However, they also take being excluded from Mira's girly book club as a surprised compliment, implying they weren't expected to be excluded, and find it affirming.) And even further so, Isa states they want to continue changing further and exploring their identity more, being rather blatant that they might lean back into femininity (and more importantly, let themselves be outwardly smart again), since they're starting to feel hurt by everyone assuming they ARE genuinely stupid.

[Image: Prologue Isa calling himself a mother hen]

And man, this is such a breath of fresh air vis a vis representation. I don't think I really need to explain that. A character who's gender identity is driven by chasing euphoria, even if it started out by trying to drive out misery. Isabeau's character is so damn good. But this essay isn't about him, so get back in the crate, boy.

... So here we have Isa, who is genuinely comfortable reclaiming things about their birth gender, and Mirabelle who loves her traditionally feminine traits to the point where she feels a little guilty that she isn't rejecting them to foster change. And then we have Siffrin… who seems to reject masculine language…? Hrm… (… And then we have The King. A Masculine Title. Someone who Siffrin increasingly sees themselves in and deeply, deeply dislikes this.)

APATHY AND SURVIVAL

It should be clear by now that I see Siffrin's core character as being driven by avoidance and survival. This seems to lead to a lot of apathy, brushing off emotions that are too intense or events and occurences that are too painful. (See: just absolutely everything with Bonnie)

It's all Siffrin really seems to be able to do to Survive. They've travelled, seemingly alone, for what would be around a decade by what the game says about the island's disappearance. They've lived alone on the road as a traveller in a country that so openly welcomes strangers that THE KING and his whole motives can happen. Siffrin is avoidant and refuses to acknowledge problems or strive for help and comfort.

So. That line about the dress. Let's unpack the line(s) about the dress.

THE DRESS LINE, AND THE WAY IT CHANGES BETWEEN PROLOGUE, ACT 2, AND ACT 3.

Good god where to start with this. Full disclosure, the first draft here was way more vague in how I approached this line because I remembered it (and another line, I'll get to it.) way more tame, but going and getting the screenshots..... Siffrin. Buddy. We gotta unpack this.

In act 2, we have "You haven't worn a dress in forever!". This is a neutral, if seemingly a little joyous statement. All we really glean from this is the information that Siffrin at some point, wore 'a' dress. No real inferences there. (Maybe you could say that the singular as opposed to plural makes it more likely that they borrowed/only owned One Dress rather than owned several? But that's a massive stretch...)

Then, act 3/4 shuffles this off into a more general "You wonder if you'll ever wear different clothes again." Which is a more despairing and distant statement. Considering Siffrin seems to travel with only the items they can carry, and owns sleep clothes... It's unclear how many changes of clothing they have. The party seems to consider the cloak a pretty permanent fixture, anyhow. But this line doesn't really say much aside from 'oh god i'm losing myself to the time loop malaise'

NOW THE PROLOGUE. Prologue Sif, buddy, pal, Loop, if I'm allowed to call you that....

Thousands of loops in. We are wistful for specifically dresses. You've forgotten almost everything. You dream about someday seeing the sun again. To be anywhere but here. You want to wear a dress again.

I. Kind of do not know what to do here but point at it. Like I said, my first draft had me half-remembering the progression of this line and as such I was far more vague on what I thought it could imply. Instead this is just straight up yearning.

To, try and segue back to what I had initially written, we'll pick up here...

Siffrin expresses a want to wear other clothes, explore changing their body... But instead, they wear a ratty old form-covering cloak that keeps them warm and safe and is a last reminder of home. They are shapeless, formless, hiding their face under the brim of a wide hat. They do not voice their desire to wear a dress aloud. They once again, keep a desire to themselves, because they do not allow themselves to want publicly. Apathy is safer. Apathy and quiet means you do not risk retribution or hurt.

While I do not think the above is exclusively a transfeminine feeling, it really, really reads like one when taken part and parcel with assuming Siffrin has denied themselves prior exploration.

... And here I have to break my first draft again. I was being, once again, restrained in my reading when writing this. Because I had convinced myself I had maybe straight up imagined one of the lines I was basing my reads on, because I couldn't find it. Because it was a line that read so strikingly desolate to me that my brain had slotted it in during Act Five, meaning when I went looking for it neither me nor my friends could find it.

It's in acts 3 and 4. It's a line I already brought up.

"You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now."

good fucking christ. sorry to break the academic tone but Jimminy Fucking Willikers, Siffrin. What's with that bit. The resignation and despair and guilty comfort we know the timeloop brings them, bleeding into the gender.

This. *taps my finger harshly on my desk* THIS, this feels transfem. this feels so wildly transfem to me. The knowledge that they've never changed before this line lends. The admission that they've been holding back because it's 'too much work'. I spent a lot of time during the game relating Siffrin not to myself but to my friends.

If I'm honest, really, truly, I'm not all too often in Siffrin's shoes. I'm the stable one, of my group. I'm the rock people ground themselves on. And I see so much hesitance, all the time. Denial of joy because what if it's taken away, again? Or futilely out of reach? It hurts more to try, and to fail, than to never try at all.

I wanted to shake Siffrin by the shoulders this whole game. Grit teeth beg them to accept help because for fuck's sake people are clearly offering it get it through your skull--

*coughs* Ah. Ahem. Right. The uh, academic tone.

Right. What I mean to say is, this read as transfem to me because of the way it relates to real-world experiences of denial. And this combo of the Dress line, and the progression of the Meat Prison line, the constant evidence of never having strived for what they want, and that insistance that you're not a man, seem to dislike being percieved as a man, but not being able to shed the outward signifiers?

Individually, yes, these points can be read in different ways. The total opposite ways, even, I'm sure! But as a gestalt it feels really, really transfem. Even if yeah, sure Vaugarde is a magical setting where being transgender is accepted, and this hesitance, specifically, around gender, might not 'make sense' in 'the lore'...

Diegesis isn't everything. Sometimes something that reflects a real-world feeling is important, even if it doesn't 'mesh' with 'the lore' of the world.

TANGENT: DIEGESIS AND READING INTO NON-REAL-WORLD-SETTINGS.

This is a Watsonian vs Doylist spectre that's been haunting this whole argument. In-universe (Watsonian), Vaugarde has seemingly no discrimination between genders, sexualities, and a lackadaisical approach to most things in the arena. Reading our own patriarchal/heterosexual/amanonormative/perisexist society unto it does not make sense, not in this context.

In the real world, however (Doylist), ISAT is a text made in our prejudiced society. A text that is distinctly flavoured by those bigotries which it is kicking back against. Because of this, it is not the whole story to simply read the text while discarding our real-world-informed inferences. Isabeau is a big example of this. While perfectly accepted in Vaugarde, he is very obviously a revolutionary character in our real-world space! He has so much to say, specifically BECAUSE things about him that are not readily accepted here, are accepted there! Same with Mira's struggles, and yes, Siffrin's too.

ISAT was written with the knowledge of how it would play against our real world in mind, we know this, clearly, from many an interview. This is most present in how it engages with asexuality and aromanticism (and immigrant identity), but make no mistake, it influences the Whole Text.

Ergo, just because I view certain writing choices here in the context of Our Real World Perspectives On Gender and not Vaugarde's In-Universe Perspectives, it does not make them an invalid read. They are simply a Doylist read.

There's been an admittedly loosey-goosey lack of delineation here between things I'm reading with either lens, because for the most part all of these points have been a vague synthesis of both that I can't quite decouple. Unprofessional, I know, but I'll admit to not having written my thoughts down like this in a good long while. Usually I just hash this out verbally over discord voice to a small number of weirdo literature and classics student friends who are willing to humour me. I'm an arts student too, but animation hardly required I actually write an essay to a literature degree's standard. Lol.

DE-PERSONING. AND LOOP. OH JESUS . LOOP .

Siffrin de-persons themselves a lot. I say de-person rather than dehumanise because, well, there's a subtle difference there. Siffrin doesn't see themselves as vermin or an animal or an object, but they do seem to see themselves as lesser, not requiring the respect they grant others. They aren't, you know, a 'real person'.

People get to have things like thoughts and wants and identities. Siffrin is, at best, Just Siffrin. They have what they have and they don't ask for more and they don't (CAN'T) feel too strongly on what they do have!

When Loop at first offers their pronouns they offer the Royal 'We'. This is at least a little bit, a joke. A nudge toward their true identity, a potential dig at themselves for becoming so understanding of The King. Mostly though, a joke on the first thing…. and a sign that they do not see themselves as a separate entity to the Siffrin stood before them.

When Siffrin rejects this, they settle for they/them. Loop drops the he/him, presumably partially to cover their tracks, but… They just showed their hand with the 'Royal We', and if you wanted to go even further with this, there's no way for us to know whether Loop is treating this pronoun as singular or not. They presumably are, but it is still a potentially plural pronoun.

Loop… Clearly does not see themselves as a person. It's, I would say, a completely reasonable assumption that the form they have taken reflects implicit feelings toward themselves as less than a person, an actor, a monster, a tool, a means to an end. They are rendered inhuman by The Universe, frivolous distractions removed. No mouth, inventory and clothes confiscated, nothing between the legs. Formed roughly in the shape of a person to allow them to do their only job: Help.

Loop's body does not make logical sense, given their continued ability to sleep, dream and their continued habit of deep breaths to self-soothe. It would seem to me, it was made in the image it was, with only the tools it needed to Help Siffrin. Why obfuscate their identity? Because giving the game away too early would likely make them lose hope. Why so deeply, thoroughly star themed? An instant signal, that even if a stranger, they are an ally. They are home.

[Image: Loop saying that they take naps and dream, and evidence of Loop habitually attempting to breathe in the twohats lose-to-loop ending]

And they… Degender themselves. No longer with any bodily signifiers of masculinity, and cruelly disallowed the ability to hide themselves beneath fabric, they are null. The spoiler Q&A (paratext, as it were) states that:

Q. Is Loop: 1. Actually comfortable with both he and they, but only gave the one pronoun to emphasize the distance? 2. Only using they/them because a large life event led to a shift in identity/ how they’d like to be perceived? or 3. time lops stole he from they they :( A. Mostly that first one. But all three of those reasons have a bit of truth to them.

While the 'mostly the first one' comment does imply that Loop would not baulk at being he/him'd (similar to how Siffrin does not), the other reasons, especially the second, having 'a bit of truth' does lend credence to this reading. That Loop's self-perception has shifted, and what I posit, is that this shift is in tandem with a disconnection with humanity. Due, presumably, to the dehumanising experience of the timeloop.

Loop has no biology to speak of, and yet they remain blind in one eye. I take this as an implication that they considered this so core to themselves, to who they could remember being, that it stayed. Even if they had forgotten their own face, trapped in a part of the house with no mirrors, they knew they couldn't see. They kept this, and yet seemingly they, or The Universe, or both of them in tandem, discarded all else.

This isn't like…. Healthy behaviour. That is for certain. But it is interesting that Siffrin and Loop seem to hold on to their masculinity by a thread, and that Loop, when actually given the excuse to make a choice, chooses the Neutral Option. Siffrin might de-person themselves, but Loop, Loop is absolutely dehumanising themselves. From Loop's own mouth (or lack thereof) do they call themselves a Corpse. That's… pretty damn bad.

TANGENT 2: POTENTIAL IMPLICATIONS OF THE JAPANESE TRANSLATION.

Did somebody say 'distance'? Yeah turns out that has some more potential evidence. In the form of First Person Pronouns. See, English, with its third person only pronouns relies on others to gender you. Japanese, you get to gender yourself. And Siffrin specifically has an interesting discrepancy in the way he refers to himself.

(DISCLAIMER: I . DO NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT JAPANESE. THIS IS SECOND-HAND KNOWLEDGE. SOURCED FROM THIS TUMBLR POST AND OTHER QUICK SKIMS OF WIKIPEDIA)

Loop and Siffrin use the same, very neutral "mostly male but could go either way" pronoun of 僕 boku. Safe, soft friendly pronoun. Used by people on the younger side of adulthood, not so impolite that you can't use it in a formal setting. Such a neutral all-rounder that female singers in japan tend to use boku in their songs to relate to the audience with quiet confidence.

And in their internal monologue? Siffrin uses a completely different pronoun. In his head, for himself, he uses 自分 jibun. Now, this may be an artefact of the monologue's english second-person "You", since jibun can also be used to mean a very neutral "self". A "myself/herself/himself" type 'self'. But when used as a first person pronoun, it has a connotation of being… distant, introspective. Which is… a fascinating implication, if that was the intent.

But I don't know anything about japanese so ! If I'm off the mark, discard this!

LOOP, PART 2: MAYBE NOT A GREAT STATE TO BE IN.

While Siffrin I can comfortably argue that they can like, keep their current gender presentation, whatever you may perceive it to be, once the game is over, Loop, I cannot.

Siffrin's potential issues with their identity are ones that honestly feel like they would best be explored with gentle refinement and searching. They don't need to violently seperate themselves from what they are now, far from it, in fact. They need to learn to grow comfortable in their own skin, and with the people they love. To become open and trusting, with an open mind to where it may lead.

Loop has already lost this battle. They don't get to refine anymore, just pick up the pieces. While I don't necessarily think radical change is Good for Loop, I think they may Need It. For them, resting will probably become stagnation (see: napping all day under the tree, resigned, really, to the idea they're stuck there forever.), they need a shake-up in order to re-find their feet. Even if they end up right back where they started, they still need to do the actual painful process of soul-searching first.

Problem is, they're still rather avoidant. So it basically becomes a question of getting them into a situation where this exploration is forced upon them. At which point, that's a whole new plotline. This becomes fanfiction. Hence, why while I think Transfem-Egg Loop is a Valid Read when extrapolated from Siffrin… I must concede any actual adventures into them acting upon that as headcanon territory. I just do not know how you would get them there without making a whole new Thing, at which point it stops being Just A Read of the text haha. It doesn't help that Loop and Siffrin (grudgekeepers supreme) both have reason to spite the Change God after who was phone.

As for whether this egg-read reflects directly back on to Siffrin? Maybe! They are the same person. But I think that, especially with Vaugarde's lax views, and their actual differences (Loop's general worse mania // Siffrin's incentive to stay a reminder to themselves and Loop of their country) means they could easily go two different routes, along the road to becoming their own distinct individuals. (And in all honesty, growing into their differences is probably the more healthy option in the long run if you're keeping Loop around? But again, we are going so far into the future here this is no longer a read. And I am not here to dispense baseless headcanons without massive disclaimer, so…)

Tl;Dr:

Siffrin's Survival-Apathy and hesitance to change feels really thematic to their being 'what's left' of their homeland

They seem unsettled by the flippancy of the Change Religion at times, clinging to the familiar to cope with the trauma of displacement.

Mal du pays speaks of them that they have not 'tried' to change, showing an insecurity there, even outside of the literal stagnance of the loops.

They are self assured to Mira that one does not have to change, in a very genuinely personal impulsive statement.

They and others exclude themselves from being "A Man", but Siffrin keeps desires to explore their expression to themselves.

The Universe belief, seemingly in Siffrin's view of it, disincentivises Free Will and Wants very heavily. It is not hard to assume they extend this to all elements of their life.

They have self-admittedly never pursued tangible change, likely due to this aversion to choice. Despite this, they express interest in changing, seeming nonplussed with their body, and house at least some desire for more traditionally feminine expression.

Oh Good God. Loop Sure Does Not Treat Themselves Like A Person. Why Does That Come With A Pronoun Change? What Does That Mean?

But most of all:

It makes them such a fascinating foil and lens to Change and characters who believe in it! It makes them eerily similar to The King! It opens up such fascinating debate between characters like themselves and Mirabelle, Isabeau and Loop, on whether or not they want to change in future, or if it truly is okay to never radically change yourself! What genuinely fertile ground for dialogues. And man if I'm not heavily drawn towards dialogues.

(End of essay! Congratulations for making it the whole way! 🎉 I hope this nightmarish deep dive helps with understanding some of the ways I've been writing Siffrin and Loop too. Since while I've not ever focused on the gender side of it (and probably won't in comic form) this does pervade my view of the two, since it would be impossible for it to Not. As you can see, I do think it is pretty relevant to both their themes.)

(Now for some bonus material)

ADDENDUMS:

PERSONAL BIAS NOTE:

Not included in this analysis since this is more a Pet Theme of my own (usually kept quarantined to the realms of my OCs), but something else I see in Siffrin is a reflection of the Dude Issue(tm) of patriarchal irl society disincentivisng Dudes(tm) from ever fucking introspecting ever.

I'm curious about nonbinary/trans characters who have no idea they’re nonbinary/trans because they’ve been disincentivised from thinking/doubting their identity due to societal power structures or simply tradition. I dig around the themes of “a lot of guys are trapped in a societal prison without ever knowing and it makes them miserable but they can’t escape because they don’t even see the cage” like, a lot, in my personal work. It intrigues me. So bleh, cards on the table there. That mode of interacting with nb/trans characters is one I'm inclined to.

This kinda goes hand in hand with the watsonian vs doylist situation i took an aside to mention. But it is so far along the doylist side that I didn't want to include it, since it is a little too assumptive of the text for my comfort. I don't think the game necessarily has much commentary on this specific Societal Bind. But if it does, then hey, there's my thoughts on it.

STRAY SIDE NOTES AND HEADCANONS ABOUT OTHER CHARACTERS (AS A TREAT FOR GETTING THIS FAR):

MID-GAME OBSERVATION ABOUT BONNIE AND ODILE THAT I NEVER WENT BACK TO VERIFY:

I got the impression that Bonnie heavily favours they/them pronouns for Siffrin, and Odile he/him, as a bit of presumed character voice. I don't know that I am right, literally at all, in that observation, because it very well could've been confirmation bias.

BUT! It did give me the impression that one of the things Bonnie was idolising about Siffrin was a degree of "wow!! older person with my gender!! wow!!", which is just like, cute. I like it even if I don't have any solid evidence.

ODILE, WHAT'S HER DEAL?:

Oh she stays just as mysterious as she intends to be, huh? Even with her comments in the Changing Room alluding to knowing things about underground changing operations, you can't draw much of a conclusion about her. I appreciate verily that she's word-of-god unlabelled and also poly. That shit's great. Woman who has stopped drawing lines or caring what she's up against. Nice characterisation flavour I think.

Anyway, I do think that transfem Odile is a really, really nice take. I have no evidence in either direction for her in either direction, and her being a woman of any description makes her relationship with her absent mother something interesting to chew on, but the idea that she pursued womanhood intentionally lends an interesting texture. I've not much to say, but it's a thread to pull on. Makes you wonder what other female role models she had in her life instead. Anyway she's mysterious as fuck I can't extrapolate Jack nor Squat. Shrug! I'm also made curious by the idea of her potentially moving away from womanhood as she feels the weight of her history lifted. This goes either way, really. Diagnosis: mysterious.

HEADCANON NOTE: INTERSEX SIFFRIN

I don't have any in-text support for this so this entire thing is an unbased headcanon to me. but i DO like it because 1. fun and 2. potential for more thematic exploration

haha gotcha its fuckin themes again. its always themes with me.

But yeah. Not much to say here besides drawing a parallel (that I believe I've seen drawn elsewhere in the fandom already?) between ISAT's comments on how a society that values change would view Aroace identities, and how Mira feels about not wanting to change with the real world experiences of Intersex people having alteration and conformity forced upon them, saying the Change Belief would likely be just as bad for them as it is for aroace people.

So, adding it to Siffrin's situation further drags them into the opposition-to-change foil role. Which like I said, think has a lot to explore.

HEADCANON NOTE: A POTENTIAL METHOD FOR GETTING LOOP OUT OF THEIR GOD DAMNED COMFORT ZONE

I think utilising Loop's contrarianism is an effective and funny way to get them to explore their gender. I personally think running with them trying to hide their identity from the party is a hilarious way to do it. Having them try to position themselves in direct opposition to Siffrin to "throw the party off their trail" (not that i think they really need to?), going full feminine-revealing-clothing because it's NOT what a Siffrin would do and accidentally growing accustomed to it. Funny to me. Especially when the party eventually do find out who they are and go . "????? what was the girl stuff about ??? is that something you wanna do now ???".

[Isabeau] "Ohhhh it was a bit! Haha you really are Sif, still a jokester!" [Loop] "HAHA YEAH . JOKES. LOVE THOSE. LOVE TO MAKE JOKES!" [Isabeau] "Yep! Anyway. Tell me if you need anything!"

Bonus bonus:

[Siffrin] "Okay, so, if you're a girl. Does this reflect on like… me?" [Loop] "No doubles. Get your own gender, parasite~!"

[madbard]

Putting this in your askbox cuz I know you're also an Epic the Musical fan but yknow I think if Loop saw that musical they'd get very emotional about Would You Fall In Love With Me Again, just in the context of thinking of their old party... :'>

Oh, a thousand times, yes.

I’ve been thinking about Epic and ISAT a lot recently, and honestly I think the entire musical would be such an intense experience for the entire party, but especially Siffrin and Loop. After all, Epic is, at its core, the story of someone who loses himself while desperately trying to return home.

(I know you were talking about ‘Would You Fall In Love With Me Again’ specifically, but this is about to get really out of hand. Also, I’m going to frame Epic as a musical that Loop, Siffrin and the post-canon party (likely sans Bonnie considering some of the subject material) are watching.)

Starting off with the Troy Saga, we have some striking similarities between Odysseus and Loop and Sif already - we know he’s been away from his home island for years, and so badly wants to see his family again. The homesickness here would resonate with them, I think, but the situation is also very different since Odysseus has such strong memories of his home and his family, and his home still very much exists. So that creates a little bit of distance as they are watching. ‘Open Arms’ would probably hit pretty hard though - I could see Polites’ encouragements reminding them of the party trying to help them after the loops. (Note for ‘Warrior of the Mind’ - I think this song would start some of the party off on the wrong foot with Athena. I think Mirabelle and Isabeau at least would be put off by the line “I see you changing from how I’ve designed you” as a bad thing. Here we have this character trying to change for the better, and another character is telling him that that’s a bad thing and he should stay the same? Yeah, they might not be the biggest Athena fans at this point.)

But then… oh, the Cyclops Saga is going to be uh… interesting. I wonder when any members of the party might have encountered a giant… led a fight against said giant… tried to barter with the giant to find a nonviolent solution for everyone… thought for a moment that they had succeeded… realized they had failed in a terrifying moment when they were told they would be the final one to die… witnessed helplessly as that giant brutally crushed one of the people they love most in the world as that person called out their name in agony… (The first time I listened to Epic after finishing Act 3 I had to pause it for a minute because I kept visualizing Bonnie during ‘Survive’ and it was doing psychic damage.) As much as I like to imagine the party watching Epic, I can’t imagine Siffrin watching that scene without having a panic attack. After that I doubt they are finishing the musical. (Now, we do have a fair bit to go and fascinating songs to think about so for the sake of this post maybe they were somehow all distracted during that scene? I don’t know, for whatever reason they keep watching.) If the party didn’t like Athena before, they definitely don’t like her after she abandons Odysseus - though I could see Odile giving her a little more grace in that regard, as she might see a bit of herself in Athena’s intelligence, the age difference between her and Odysseus and her clear difficulties with friendship and emotions.

The Ocean Saga is called than the Cyclops Saga. I could see Siffrin and Loop exchanging some looks at the “you rely on wit and people die on it” line but while there are some parallels between that song and their own discussion post Act 3, the similarities are ultimately far outweighed by the differences. Then we have the ultimate paranoia/insomnia/exhaustion/homesickness anthem in ‘Keep Your Friends Close,’ which I could see Siffrin and Loop getting pretty invested in.

As much as I love the Circe Saga, I’m not sure the party is getting much from it aside from enjoying the story and music.

Then we have the Underworld Saga and STARS. Loop is NOT going to be handling this well. ‘The Underworld’ is an absolute nightmare - gotta love being haunted by the screams of your friends that you couldn’t protect, tee-hee! Odysseus’ mom dying while waiting for him to come home is also an intense scene considering how little Loop and Siffrin know about what might’ve happened to their own parents when the island disappeared, but that scene is also just generally heartbreaking. ‘No Longer You’ is where things become viscerally painful for Loop - after all, there is a reason there are at least two full length Loop-centric animatics of that song. I want to ramble about this one but… “we’ve suffered and sailed through the toughest of hells, now you tell us our effort’s for nothing” and “I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it’s no longer you” speak for themselves. The universe doesn’t care how much you suffered - someone is going to get that happy ending that you fought and died and bled for, but it’s not you. Not anymore. Then we reach ‘Monster’ and Odysseus has reached a state of self-loathing and dehumanization that Siffrin and Loop are far too familiar with. The death of diplomacy in exchange for brutality matches with post-Act 3 Siffrin, but it also aligns with Loop, and their willingness to do whatever it takes to help Siffrin escape the loops, even if that means sacrificing the party. And of course the perceived loss of humanity is very applicable to Loop, always.

On to the Thunder Saga, and Odysseus’ rage in ‘Different Beast’ is his own personal Memory of Sadnesses moment. This saga is just… tough to listen to for the entire party I think. The way Odysseus and Eurylochus’ friendship falls apart - that still hurts so much every time I listen and I’m sure it would be painful for them as well. (I could probably elaborate more but this post is already far longer than I had expected and I’m starting to run out of steam so I’ll leave it here.)

The party has made it to the Wisdom Saga! Odd opinion incoming, but I think ‘Legendary’ would resonate with Isabeau a lot - a song about this young, less-than-intimidating guy who desperately wants to be bigger, braver, stronger, the kind of person that can protect the people he cares about. Also, I could see Telemachus activating some protective instincts in the party, considering how some of his eagerness and fighting attitude are mirrored in Bonnie as well. ‘Little Wolf’ and ‘We’ll Be Fine’ would cause a massive shift in Mirabelle and Isabeau’s opinion of Athena - the character who opposed change at the beginning has changed for the better! Athena’s regret in ‘We’ll Be Fine’ would also hit really close to home for Odile, I think - “maybe if I’d made a different call, maybe if I hadn’t missed it all, maybe he’d be fine” aligns so painfully well with her own guilt and regret for not being able to figure out the loops and help Siffrin sooner. I think ‘Love In Paradise’ would be a surprisingly tough listen for Loop and Siffrin. The context is so different, but this song contains lyrics like “under my spell we’re stuck in paradise, no one can come or go - not til the end of time, there is no way, you’re mine, all mine.” Calypso is so scared of being alone that she traps Odysseus on the island with her for years - meanwhile, Odysseus is slowly broken down by his grief and his desperation to go home. For Loop and Siffrin, there’s an uncomfortable understanding of both characters, I think. (The entire party loves Athena after ‘God Games,’ I don’t make the rules.)

Next up, Vengeance Saga. This is where things start to get intense. As one might guess from the fact that I made a Loop-centric lyric comic for ‘Not Sorry For Loving You,’ I think they would relate to this song on a visceral level. “Someone came by today, they said they’re taking you away, that you’re not mine to save, and sooner I won’t get to see your face” - this so perfectly fits with Loop’s realizing Siffrin won their happy ending and is going to be leaving Dormont with THEIR family. Not theirs to save. Not anymore. “I spent my whole life here, was cast away when I was young, alone for a hundred years, I had no friends but the sky and sun” - this is literally an exaggerated description of their own life, washing up on the shore of Vaugarde as a teenager, completely alone with no memory of ever having been known or loved. “So when you washed ashore, I thought for sure that you were my dream come true - I thought I knew” - Loop/Siffrin being so desperately lonely when they met the party and bonding with them so deeply and desperately, starved for love and connection to the point where they clung TOO hard, loved TOO defensively. And then we reach the final lines of the song and I honestly think the comic explains better than I could exactly how perfect those lyrics are for Loop. At the end of this song, Calypso is left sobbing on a beach, watching as Odysseus sails into a future without her in it, with people that love him, so desperately lonely and full of the knowledge that nobody will ever, ever love her again. Yeah… I think this song might mess with Loop a bit. And then, of course, we have ‘Six Hundred Strike.’ This is another song that I imagine Siffrin for - specifically Act 5 Siffrin fighting the King. “How does it feel to be helpless? How does it feel to know pain? I watched my friends die in horror - watching as they were all slain!” Honestly, this song is a big Act 5 moment for Odysseus - except that he actually defeats Poseidon. I can’t imagine that this song wouldn’t cause at least a shudder in Siffrin and Loop.

And now, finally, the Ithaca Saga. (Which is what you were actually talking about. This got extremely out of hand.) I’ve mentioned the party would feel protective of Telemachus. They are not handling ‘Hold Them Down’ well. ‘Odysseus’ is interesting to think about actually, because for whatever reason this has become such an Act 5 Isabeau loops AU song to me. I imagine that an Isabeau loops AU would involve him undergoing a change that mirrors Odysseus a lot, becoming steadily colder rather than becoming manic like Siffrin does. I think he’d cope with the loops by essentially shutting down his emotions, using his intellect to be a truly terrifying force in combat. Under it all though I think there’d still be a core protective rage - “my mercy has long since drowned” vibes. He’s going to protect his family, even if it means becoming a monster. Alright, AU talk aside, the fact that the suitors literally refer to Telemachus as “the kid” in this song (as they’re planning to maim him to control Odysseus) is going to mess with Loop and Siffrin at least a little bit. Moving onto ‘I Can’t Help But Wonder,’ for whatever reason this song makes me think of Bonnie and Nille. I actually have a half-sketched lyric comic with this song set to their reunion, but only time will tell if I ever actually get around to finishing it.

Alright. We’ve made to the song this ask was actually talking about.

‘Would You Fall In Love With Me Again’ is a beautifully painful song to think about in connection with Loop because it is such a cruel inversion of what actually happens. Odysseus returns home, changed and certain Penelope won’t love him anymore, convinced that when she looks at him she will see a monster. But when she sees him again, she sees her husband. She sees him, she recognizes him, she tells him she still loves him, that he is still the same person, that she will fall in love with him over and over. She tells him everything Loop wishes they could hear from their own party. In reality, the party didn’t recognize Loop, because they aren’t the same person anymore. In canon, Loop never gets the confirmation that the party loves them still. They know the party is grateful, but that’s only because they were able to help them find Siffrin. Siffrin thought the party loved him after he helped each of them during the friend quests, and it’s only after Act 5 that they realize that the party loved them already, and will continue to love them even if they mess up. Loop never gets that confirmation. As they fade back into the Universe, they do so knowing the party will not grieve them.

Part of my love for post-canon Loop content stems from my desire to see Loop asking, in their own way, without even realizing it, if the party would fall in love with them again.

The answer is yes. No matter how long it’s been, and how much Loop has changed, I believe that the answer is yes.

[crisis-starter]

This is a retelling of the Promise Event written in third person through Bonnie’s eyes. I adhered to the dialogue of said event, mostly playing with thoughts and emotions.

This is a part of the CIAS AU!

I also gave up on using the nicknames, since I was already using words that wouldn’t ever cross a child’s mind.

)•{+}•<>+<>•{+}•(

Snack time.

Third floor snack room.

Talk of death and funerary procedure.

They heard the adults talk amongst themselves, and then they felt something… someone looking at Bonnie. There was a pause in the air. An eerie stillness. That someone definitely realized that they stopped working on the snacks.

That’s when Siffrin spoke up, albeit quietly, “…Bonnie?”

Bonnie was silent for a few moments. Then they responded, “…What?” They had no filter. They wanted to express their thoughts. But it seems that it was that simple word that shook everyone else to the core. Made them realize they made a mistake. But Siffrin continued, somberly, “Were you listening to us just now?”

Bonnie paused again. They stayed silent, unable to meet Siffrin’s eye, which glistened with concern. “…I don’t wanna talk about it…” and that’s when the emotional restraint fell and turned to dust, “I don’t wanna talk about it! I don’t want to talk about any of us dying!”

Isabeau expressed his shame in his own actions, “Oh, Bonnie…” The tone and expression was enough to mark that as fact.

Mirabelle tried to comfort them by trying to maybe explain, calling their name in a voice laced with guilt and worry.

Siffrin was saying nothing, but his expression was that of a mix between slight panic and concern. He almost looked frustrated with themselves for what they did. He wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out. Not yet.

Odile started, trying to ease Bonnie even though that isn’t her strong suit, “Please, listen to-“ But they didn’t let her.

Bonnie’s emotions were just too raw. They cried, “No! You’re all stupid for talking about this! Stupid, stupid, stupid!” They suddenly heard footsteps. Siffrin was approaching them. They didn’t know what Siffrin was planning to do, but they didn’t want it. The rogue had his hand extended to do something, and that’s when Bonnie started to make mistakes.

A pain was starting to grow in the back of their head. Bonnie yelled, anguished, “Don’t touch me!” Their voice lowered a little, but the words didn’t lose their deadly edge, “Curse you, Frin! Don’t come near me! I don’t want you to touch me, I don’t want you to talk to me, I don’t want you to even LOOK AT ME!” Tears streamed down Bonnie’s face, their voice wavering in tandem, “I don’t want to think about ANY OF THIS!”

The pain was getting worse. The air felt weird. But Bonnie wasn’t paying attention to that. They just knew Siffrin was trying to approach them again, so they retaliated with more venomous words, “NO! STOP, STOP! DON’T COME NEAR ME!”

Then they made their biggest mistake yet. The air is around them was weird. It smelled weird. It smelled wrong, yet Bonnie had to say something, “I HATE YOU, FRIN! If you like to talk about how everyone will die then you should just get it over with and die, Frin! I don’t care! I hate you!”

Siffrin’s face fell into something Bonnie wasn’t used to seeing on him. It wasn’t sadness no, it was… deeper than that. Part of Bonnie wanted to stop talking, stop sharing, stop saying anything at all, just to stop Frin from showing him that face, letting them discover what despair looked and felt like. That part of them wanted to just make them smile again. But no. Bonnie dug their grave deeper, despite the smell of caramel getting worse, getting thicker, getting nauseatingly abundant, “I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou I HAAAAATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!” And one last one to finish off this horrible display, “I HATE YOU FR-“

Bonnie didn’t even finish their sentence before something happened. Their headache was gone. But Siffrin was no longer in front of them. They weren’t facing their friends. But then Bonnie heard Mirabelle, “…What about you, Siffrin?”

Siffrin looked utterly lost. Their expression was unreadable. They weren’t meeting anyone’s eyes. The were silent for a moment before handing a frankly very blunt statement, “Bury me somewhere. Can we talk about something else?” Belle responded, “Oh…” Isabeau looked away, seemingly ashamed, “Yeah, sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

Bonnie remembered what they said. Then they started to feel horrible. Sick. How could they say that to Siffrin? Now Siffrin was upset! But well, they had to do something to make the rogue happy. Bonnie didn’t want to apologize just yet… they didn’t know how to. They needed to ask Isabeau how to apologize to Siffrin for such a thing.

But now, it’s snack time!

Bonnie paused, looking at everyone. Then they continued, “…Hey, are you done talking? Because…” Bonnie bounded into the circle of friends that were talking about death just a second ago, “It’s snacks time, baby.”

At least Isabeau was smiling as he replied, “Oh, it’s a serious business snack time. I’m listening.” Bonnie responded, “Snack times are always serious business, dummy.” Bonnie was hoping that Siffrin would smile at the ridiculousness of this needlessly stern introduction. But Siffrin couldn’t look at Bonnie in the eyes. It hurt Bonnie, to know they were the cause of this. Nonetheless, Bonnie continued.

Bonnie introduced their snacks. Madeleines, pineapple slices, and fish head. Bonnie secretly glanced at Siffrin every now and then. Siffrin was… spacey. Like they weren’t paying attention. But at least Siffrin answered Bonnie when prompted, “I’ll try the pineapple.” Siffrin’s tone wasn’t right. It sounded kind of like they were… not completely in the moment. Like they were stuck in their thoughts. But hey! Bonnie was happy that Siffrin liked one of their favorite foods!

The amount of fear and worry that filled their entire being when they heard Siffrin start to wheeze upon swallowing the bite of pineapple was unmatched. So scary, they forgot what they said to Frin to make him so upset. The air smelled sugary again. It felt very weird for a second before-

Bonnie woke up. They looked at the field in front of them. Were they… here before? This felt almost too familiar. They were back in Dormont! But weren’t they in the house just a second ago? Weird…

)•{+}•<>+<>•{+}•(

Gonna write more :>

Isabeau’s is next hehe

Let’s hope it goes well!

Have a nice day (or night, wherever you are)!

[jacarandaaaas]

opening random encanto yt videos’ comments section is like staring at the waking storm you’re about to plunge into and knowing it’s not gonna be pretty and you’re probably not getting out of it unscathed (aka calm/happy fine—also sorry pepa oof—)

god the amount of misinterpretations people have with the movie, with so many scenes is insane, i’m about to go even more insane myself than usual

it’s so frustrating and i want to throw my phone every time AAAAAAA

but anyway yes, i wrote this ask in the first place to ask about your thoughts on different details and plot points and just general stuff of the movie that you noticed and really love, with any/all of this helping you appreciate the movie more? just anything, really, your choice on whatever you wanna ramble :3 (also to make up for how my last question had stopped you from rambling AHAHAH)

because i know you have so many good ideas and thoughts, so i’d love to hear it hehe :>

hope i made sense with the question, just a bit sleep deprived rn haha, but yes, ty!! <33

I totally relate to this feeling😭 except instead of YouTube comments it’s like almost every platform💀 and thank you for the ask!!

I could rant forever about all the details in this movie honestly!!!

The foreshadowing is SO good in this movie!! waiting on a miracle and the family madrigal being obvious ones but did you guys know the order mirabel sees the doors flicker when she sees the cracks is the order they lose their powers in? Isa + Luisa first because that’s who’s powers act up first dolores + camilo + antonio at the dinner scene and alma last because she was the last one willing to admit the problems!!

I love the character design!! I’ve rambled about it many times but it’s just !!!

I love how despite mirabel being our protagonist they show when she’s wrong and other characters call her out! She’s not a perfect protagonist she’s a flawed teenage girl and that just makes her more endearing

I love that they didn’t make Mariano a mean character just because isabela didn’t want to marry him. The problem isn’t Mariano it’s isabela feeling trapped!! Mariano is also shown to be considerate!

I love that most of the focus is on the female characters (if only the fandom would do that) I love seeing a multigenerational cast of women all flashed out with their own unique traits

about the misinterpretations i completely agree. I feel like this fandom has a “fanon” problem. especially with the most developed characters! surprisingly the ones with the most screen are the most common mischaracterised. I really dislike how encanto as a movie went to such an effort to give every character such a variety of traits and nuance only for the fandom to continuously reduce them down to one singular trait. It almost feels like reinforcing those stereotypes the movie was so set on breaking. As well as this continuously ignoring some of the best canon traits each character has. They feel so far from the original you might as well consider them ocs at that point.

I love the animation on Bruno’s vision shards (they look edible), I love the little details in mirabels room like her outfit sketches being hung up on the walls! THE BUTTERFLIES!! this movie has so many hidden butterflies it’s so fun to spot them!!

the soundtrack obviously but also the score!! only recently discovered that “the house knows” is a reprise of “the cracks emerge” it blew my mind!!!

One thing I really love about encanto is the expressions! they can convey so much with so little and the little subtleties it adds to each character is just incredible to me!!

SKIRT ANIMATION. it’s like hypnotizing to see how the skirts flow in this movie I am glued to the screen every time.

the dos oruguitas scene is gorgeous and so incredibly important to the core message of this story! As well as this scene the fall of casita is another incredible one!!

the songs feel like full blown fantasy musical numbers and I don’t know why people consider that a criticism of the movie is about MAGIC I want to feel that magic in the visuals of the song. So each musical number was like the most incredible experience!!

I love how waiting on a miracle starts off as a reprise of the family madrigal before changing to 3/4 time to show how mirabels out of place

the line “how far do these roots go down” hits so hard and I cant explain why

Felix and pepas love is so real and pure

julieta and agustín are incredible parents

dolores entire design

the fact luisa wasn’t reduced to a stereotype and was allowed to be flawed

mirabels voice!! it’s so unique and recognizable like I love it sm

the way felix sings “no clouds allowed in the skyyy”

I love that the characters actually look their age!

almas room being a replica of her old home showing how metaphorically and physically she’s stuck in the past

“I was thinking of my daughter!!”

I love that with isas transformation it’s not her hating femininity but changing what her femininity means to her

I love how mirabels worst enemy is her own mind. the madrigals aren’t aware of how she feels because she never opens up and it’s just slowly eating her up inside. in the end mirabel needed to acknowledge herself in order to grow (I say acknowledge because I refuse to believe it’s acceptance and I think she would still struggle with her self perception post movie)

I love how the Madrigals use their gifts to help their community and not for self gain. It’s such an interesting twist on the classic superpowers story

I love that the Madrigals are just normal people who randomly got a miracle, nothing of status just normal people in a normal town who got gifted.

the way pepa kisses antonio and hugs him after he gets his gift !!!

the way isabela is the one to initiate the hug but mirabel is the one who snuggles into it

julietas smile

the entire animation is so gorgeous!!

antonio. just antonio if u hate antonio I hate u

I love how realistically written alma is and how her story is treated with respect and nuance.

how all the madrigals problems aren’t solved instantly but it’s shown in a montage that happens over large period of time

[isatswap]

(full in stars and time game spoilers. huge ones. very.)

(also death, dehumanization, suicide and extreme self hatred cw)

(also sorry for the stanky drawings, i really needed them but i have neither skill nor energy to make them good)

giving up

TTOS version of the MAL DU PAYS fight from ISAT

(...?)

(Where are you...?)

(Where is The Scary Lady?)

(Where is everyone?)

(!)

(There is someone there...)

<BATTLE START!>

(Two figures stand before you.)

(One of them resembles Siffrin.)

(And the other....)

(...)

(You strike.)

<IMMUNE>

(MAL DU PAYS is silent.)

(HAINE DE SOI is covering its mouth.)

(Your attacks have no effect...)

(But all you can do is keep attacking.)

<Mindless attacking.>

(...)

(Why aren't they saying anything?)

(MAL DU PAYS watches your movements.)

(HAINE DE SOI mimics a Scissors sign.)

Loop: (...) "Hey..."

(...)

(MAL DU PAYS does not blink.)

(HAINE DE SOI smiles.)

Loop: (...) "Hey."

(...)

(MAL DU PAYS stares at you.)

(HAINE DE SOI shows its teeth.)

Loop: "HEY!!!" Loop: "DON'T JUST STAND HERE SILENTLY, JUDGING ME!" Loop: "TALK TO ME! DON'T IGNORE ME! SAY SOMETHING!!!"

(The figure on the left whispers something to the figure on the right.)

(The figure on the right opens its mouth...)

(and speaks.)

Odile: Loop... Odile: Loop. Odile: Loop!

(Dile...?)

Odile: Loop, why.... Odile: Why did you protect me, all of those times? Odile: ...You should have let me die, Loop. Odile: You know I was miserable, back then.

(No, no, you couldn't have, you--)

Odile: Instead, I live. Having to suffer seeing you in pain. Odile: ....It's not like I haven't died though, right?

(!!!)

Odile: You have let me die before. Odile: Worse, you are the reason I've died. Odile: It hurt a lot, Loop! I could still feel all of it. Odile: .... Odile: It hurt worse than if I've never knew anyone. Odile: If I have never known you. Odile: If you wanted to protect me so badly... Odile: Why didn't you just die, Loop? Die instead of me? Odile: But instead of protecting me.... you decided to try to "make me stronger". As if I needed it. Odile: As if I needed your help. Odile: As if I needed you. Odile: ....But no one does.

Odile: NO ONE NEEDS YOU!!!

(!!!)

(No, that can't--)

(Odile would never say something like this.)

(ODILE WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!!)

(MAL DU PAYS breathes in, and out.)

(HAINE DE SOI puts on a grin.)

(The left figure points at its hat.)

(The right figure nods, and opens its mouth...)

Bonnie: Loop...

(Bonbon's voice...?)

Bonnie: Loop. Bonnie: I've trusted you, Loop. Bonnie: I thought we could accept you into our group. Bonnie: ...But alas, the truth always comes out. Bonnie: You are nothing else than a bad apple. Bonnie: Rotten to the core. Bonnie: And I know that we have never been friends. Bonnie: After all... Bonnie: Aren't we just puppets to you? To toy with? Bonnie: To play your perfect drama with? Bonnie: You can't even imagine us having our own lives, outside of your scope. Bonnie: ...I have a sister back in Bambouche, remember? Probably not. You forget everything about us. Bonnie: I can't believe I've ever wanted to show her a monster like you. Bonnie: A monster who does all these things and then prays to a deity for forgiveness. Bonnie: A deity of a forgotten country. Bonnie: ...I hope we forget you just like we did that land.

(!!!)

(No, no, no, you don't want that)

(You don't want to be forgotten)

(You want to stay with them)

(No!!!)

(Bonnie is kind, they would understand, they would never try to forget you, this is just--)

(THIS ISN'T REAL!!!)

(MAL DU PAYS cries silently.)

(HAINE DE SOI smiles wide.)

(The left figure steps closer to the right figure and hugs its arm.)

(The right figure opens its mouth...)

Mirabelle: Loopie... Mirabelle: Loopie!

(Mira!)

Mirabelle: Oh, Loopie, I'm so glad I found you. Mirabelle: I can finally say all I meant to say all those times before. Mirabelle: Okay. Here it comes. Mirabelle: I... Mirabelle: I don't understand you, Loop. Mirabelle: I don't understand why are you so attached to me. Mirabelle: Such a creature can't know attachment, can it? Mirabelle: Yes, that is right. A creature. A child of the sky. Mirabelle: Did you think no one noticed? That you are not human? Mirabelle: And that everyone despises you? Your very existence? Mirabelle: You would think someone Changed would be more willing to try to pivot their life around, but no. Mirabelle: You luxuriate in things staying the same with you. You are a mere mockery of this country's beliefs. Mirabelle: You are not even willing to show us your true nature. Too weak to open up to your "friends." Mirabelle: Too afraid to be seen. Mirabelle: And under this little shell, there lies an even worse person. Mirabelle: The person that uses time loops for their own advantage. Mirabelle: And even while trying to change their fate they stay the same. Pathetic. Mirabelle: Haha, I bet you were a foreigner even in your own country! Never able to be friends or even colleagues with anyone! Mirabelle: The only reason we were still able to have those trips to the House with you were because you were useful. As a tool. Mirabelle: We never truly liked you, even if the loops made it seem so. Mirabelle: Because you are--

(disgusting, disgusting, disgusting--)

(of course that's what she thinks, that is what you are)

(callous aimless manipulative)

(ah)

(your head hurts)

(you can't breathe)

(MAL DU PAYS yells silently.)

(HAINE DE SOI laughs with no sound.)

(both figures open their mouths)

(no please, please, please, no more)

Isabeau: ... Isabeau: Loop...

(isabeau)

Isabeau: Loop.... Isabeau: Oh, Loop.... Isabeau: I can't wait to never see you again.

(aaahhhhh--)

(The figures open their mouths but you strike!!!)

<IMMUNE>

(stop it, stop it, stop it!!!)

(it's not real, it's not real, it's not real)

(none of this is real)

(you just need to wake up!!!)

(wake up)

(wake up)

(wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up)

(wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not re

SOMETHING: (BUT IT IS.)

(AH!--)

SOMETHING: (THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.)

(No!)

SOMETHING: (THEY WANT TO FORGET YOU.)

(no)

SOMETHING: (THEY HATE YOU)

(NO!!!)

SOMETHING: (THEY'LL GO BACK TO THEIR HOMES, WITHOUT YOU)

(NO...)

SOMETHING: (THEY WILL LEAVE YOU BEHIND)

(no no no no no no)

SOMETHING: (THIS JOURNEY WAS ONLY MEANINGFUL TO YOU)

(no)

SOMETHING: (YOU CAN WISH AND WISH ALL YOU WANT, BUT IT'S INEVITABLE)

SOMETHING: (THEY WILL LEAVE)

SOMETHING: (AND SOON THEY'LL FORGET YOU)

(no)

SOMETHING: (THEY'LL FORGET YOU)

(n o)

SOMETHING: (THEY'LL FORGET YOU)

( )

SOMETHING: (so make it easier for them and die)

( )

(it's right)

(these s adnes ses of y our s and h i s ar e r ight)

(your family hates you)

(they will all go home)

(leave you behind)

(forget you)

(you should just give up)

(you should just die)

(die for good)

(you can't feel your body anymore)

(nothing will ever hurt anymore)

(you'll forget it all)

(and you'll finally rest)

(you)

(let)

(go)

[martianbugsbunny]

In all the videos I've watched about the modern character structure of Disney princesses, I've seen people say that Rapunzel, Anna, Moana, Asha, Raya, Sisu, and Mirabel are generally very samey characters in terms of personality traits and movement styles. But I have yet to see someone say that in Frozen 2, Elsa took on some of those traits, and my horribly capped evidence is under the cut.

Alright, to start with, let me explain a little bit more. Elsa in her debut movie is very restricted and repressed, that's true, but she's also by nature elegant and graceful. Once she figures herself out a little bit more, and she's comfortable in her skin, these aspects of her don't go away, in fact I think they're enhanced by her new confidence and self-assurance. Anna, by contrast, is clumsy and a little awkward, and that's not all down to her upbringing, either. It's who she is, and the contrast between them makes both of their personalities pop. It also makes them realistic, because in human beings and in sisters, you will not have two people who are identical in nature.

However, in the second Frozen movie, Elsa moves and gestures more like Anna. More like the new cookie cutter of the awkward (I hesitate to say "adorkable" because I'm utterly sick of the word at this point, but it's kind of apt) Disney girl.

This is the worst cap I have but watch this little scene where Elsa is startled and her powers activate is one of thee most egregious examples. The entire sequence of movements she has here feels completely detached from her; it's more like the way Anna would move than the way Elsa would move.

This. this is from the scene where she tells Anna she woke the spirits and decides to go to the forest. There is no universe in which the woman from the first Frozen movie would make these faces.

These are from the scene in Ahtohallan where she's watching her past. The cringe, once again, in the way it's animated, feels incredibly alien to her character. The little dance and the facial expressions when she comes across ice!Weaselton are incredibly Rapunzel, I think, but not very Elsa.

This one is the least offender in the bunch. But I still think in this particular scene, where she's doing the typical-of-modern-Disney thing where she's talking to the cute animal friend made to sell plushies, she doesn't feel quite right. The whole "they're all staring at us, aren't they" bit of dialogue contributes to the off-ness of the scene.

Now, allow me to present exhibit B: some of the expressions that I'm comparing her to.

You can see how similar they are, right? All of these to each other but also to the caps of Elsa? It's become the new style to just have all the characters making these faces. It's weird to see it all on them (particularly when it makes no sense for Raya, Asha, and Moana, but that's besides the point) and it's even weirder to see it on Elsa, a character who did not originate with this trait.

Here are a couple of caps of Elsa from Frozen. Her facial expressions are distinct from Anna's, because they have different personalities and would express their emotions physically in different ways. Elsa has a reserved grace and a boundless joy by the end of the movie and it shows through in the way she smiles, the way she frowns, the way she moves. Who she is, is indicated by her movements, which is an individual being and not a standard model.

Now, I'm not dunking on any of the other princesses listed here. I love most of them. I'm emotionally invested in their stories and I cry during their songs and I spend hours sketching them. But do I think I could love them just a little more if they each moved a little differently and their cores were expressed in their physicalities? Yes, I do. I also think it might force Disney to develop their individual personalities better if they weren't just falling back on standardized traits, because more specifics in one department might lead to more in others.

Anyway, that was my little thesis....kay bye.

[the-bitter-ocean]

mira and isa qpr for the ship ask game heart emoji

Hi hi! An anon asked the exact same question but I lost their ask going through their inbox so I’m glad you sent this!! Anywho I’m gonna start off and say yes!! I love the idea of Mirabelle and Isabeau being in a QPR. )In case anyone who’s following me and unaware of this I really enjoy the idea of Mirabelle, Siffrin and Isabeau as a trio being in a QPR! )

Not only that but I personally like focusing on as well as just Mira/sif QPR , Isa/sif QPR or Mira/Isa as a QPR. Any variants of it makes me extremely happy!

1. What made you ship it?

I think I’ve always liked it back when I played Start again Start again Start again: A prologue, but it definitely increased once I played in stars and time since ISAT expanded on all of the characters personalities / backstories in more detail. Adrienne’s writing and art of them hanging out endeared me to them a ton so I just ended up liking it a lot too. It also helps that there are some cool fanart and fanfic of the two bonding which is very sweet, makes my heart warm 🥺💖

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

I love love love their banter! The way Adrienne writes the two of them hanging out and draws them really helps emphasize that they are close friends and became tight knit on the journey. I think there’s a lot of interesting things to explore regarding their dynamic because a lot of it was formed pre canon/ before the start of ISAT. Isa was the *first* person to help her on her journey!! It clearly means the world to her and their friendship is near and dear to my heart. Isa and Mira are both the emotional (core) of the group and they both have each others back and want to make sure neither party is overworking or abandoning their own needs to help someone else. It’s fascinating. It makes me go WAAAAAAA !

3. Is there any unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

From my knowledge no? I think for the most part the fandom is pretty respectful regarding the canonical romantic / sexual orientations of both those characters so thankfully I don’t have to worry about any bad takes? I think my only complaint is that I wish to see more art and writing exploring their dynamic but I can be the change I wish to see in the world regarding that aha ^_^

Thanks for asking @basilpaste !

[fandom-crossover]

Crossover au (Fandoms x Cookie Run Kingdom)

Hey guys so I was wondering about many things on posting this unique au but I decided to go with the flow! Hopefully this could be an interesting one

RULES:

You can use my arts for any stories or you could make a fanart from this, just tag me

No bad comments like making fun of my work

Enjoy the show

After the Five Beasts had been sealed for decades and the untouched soul jams was now in the hands of the five new heroes but.. but what if there's another batch of pieces of soul jams yet corrupted by the Beasts and were given to those who were once good and filled with hope? Oh now that's an interesting story if I say myself

Ash Ketchum now known as the Deceitful Teller but he prefers to be called Ash. How did he end up getting Shadow Milk's soul jam? It all started when he was betrayed by everyone from his world for pursuing his dreams, the harsh truth hit him like a cold storm upon him. When he left his world and stumbled on a soul jam, he felt nothing more than the deceitful aura coming from it. After all, why tell a truth when he could just lie to make himself better?

"So easy to get a puppet!~" Those words were from Shadow Milk since nothing can escape from his sight not even once.

Ash was like a fortune teller with his tarot cards to predict any future, that power came from the soul jam he had taken. Any time he could just use his cards to see them and lies to any person that the future isn't horrible. No one has ever seen his face not even once... what a mystery..

Marinette Dupain-Cheng now known as the Pale Priestess who serves Mystic Flour. She lost her precious life when Lila lied and had everyone turn against her even Adrien. Shouldn't be surprised about Adrien, always saying that they are just friends. Marinette felt nothing in her heart by the time she left her world and found the Soul Jam of Apathy

That day, she realized that she gained white strands over her blue hair, her skin went pale, and her eyes are just like Mystic Flour's but that didn't bother her

After all, what's the point of being Apathy if she attempts to feel anything?

Izuku Midoriya known as the Harbinger of Destruction. They say that even after he was framed as a traitor, his flames only fuels with anger and revenge. Change, he always try to improve but no matter what he does, he can't be a hero nor a villain. So boring..

How he found the Soul Jam of Destruction is that he had explored an old temple, there he finds the relic but also like a core to give him the power to control the flames

Any kind of fire elements means nothing to him, he can withstand the heat when he's within them.

Robin (From Teen titans) was now known as the Indolence Soul. He lost the will to go farther beyond his journey after being neglected by his team

There are no other information about him except that he found the Soul Jam of Sloth then gains pink strands to resembles Eternal Sugar and after that, he vanished. Legends has it that he was sleeping in the clouds where no one would bother him

Mirabel Madrigal who was now known as the Silent General. She left her family because she hated their voices of telling her that she can't do anything. She left her world and found the Soul Jam of Silence, giving her the power to obtain strength. Her hair flows like smoke and river, she never speaks to anyone often except for Silent Salt since she serves them

But every night, she would always sing to remind herself that she'd never stay quiet no matter what

[yellowcry]

You left me dripping in the wax

Luisa stared at the note again and again, trying to proceed it. Mirabel, her own baby sister, left. Why? Because of that candle that didn't give her a freaking gift? Because Luisa always was too busy? Her own world gets shattered in just one second. This candle cost her Mirabel…

Hello. I really don't know what I'm supposed to write in here... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have overreacted yesterday, can't imagine how much I messed up the party. I just ruin everything, you'd be better off without me anyway. Don't worry, I'm not a child anymore. So I can figure it out. It was actually really egoistical to live at your expense for so long. I just want you to know, I love you all so much. I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough.

Sincerely, your Mirabel

-

Luisa's eyes were running along the text again and again, hoping that, maybe, the text would change from how long she had stared at it. But the letter didn't start to jump around, changing into something else. No matter how many times Luisa had pierced her eyes through the short text. 

It wasn't true, right? Mirabel didn't... It must be some sick dream. Luisa's gaze flinched upon her mother, who looked shocked, sitting on the old bed in the nursery. Soon enough, Abuela finally joined in, displeased with the fact that something so simple as calling Mirabel for breakfast took them so long.

"What are you doing?" Her gaze traveled over the room. "And where's Mirabel?" Luisa said nothing, passing the note, written in a shaking cursive to Abuela.

Finally after what seemed to be an eternity Abuela speaks, "She's just trying to draw attention," Her hand squeezes the paper tightly, crumpling it. "We mustn't give into her shenanigans."

"Mama-" Julieta starts, but gets interrupted quickly.

"She's fifteen, teenagers tend to be dramatic. She'll be back once she realizes we won't play along." Her voice was firm, not leaving any place for discussion. She had placed the note back on the table.

Luisa stares at her arms. If Mirabel wants attention so badly that she leaves the house, wouldn't it make more sense to give all the attention she needs? She sighs harshly, grabbing the paper again, wanting some time to think. 

Her room welcomes her with the usual coldness of a cave. Luisa pins the paper sheet, a white spot against the dull grey stone. The letters were still the same. Part of her hoped that it was some strange dream, but Luisa didn't wake up. The words weren't changing, forming only one result. Mirabel wasn't here. 

Luisa should've visited her sister after the incident at the party, asked how she was doing. Maybe even support her ideas about the cracks. Mirabel wasn't here. The idea of just waiting made Luisa sick to the core. It was her sister, she couldn't just stay still. Mirabel could be harmed right now and Abuela decides to "wait until she returns."? There was no way Luisa would agree to this.

Obviously, her first idea was to ask Dolores. She could easily distinguish anyone just by their voice. 

The older cousin flinched as Luisa ran to her a full speed, almost knocking her down. "What's going on?" She asked worriedly, possibly hearing some of the Abuela's conversation before. 

Luisa was breathing heavily, like a dog. "Mirabel... She... She ran away...." She saw how Dolores' eyes widened in shock. "Can you hear her?"

Lores shook her head. "I haven't heard her today at all." She whispers. Luisa sighs harshly, knowing that it's useless now.

"Okay..." She muttered quietly, as much as she could actually be, as Luisa and quiet were pretty much antonyms. "I'll see you later."

Luisa disappeared in the same rush as she came in. She jumped into the kitchen to take another cup of coffee, intending to relieve the stress. With her size, it was easy to bring down the whole cup in just one or two sips. Luisa filled it again, ignoring how her hands were shaking. She needed Mirabel. Where was she? Was she harmed? What if Luisa had done something and now she's mad at her? And she dares to drink coffee at that very moment? 

She blinked a couple of times to stop her eye twitching, before drinking the third cup of coffee in a row. In Luisa's excuse, she was stressed as hell. 

-

Luisa was doing her tasks unusually sloppily, she was interested in wandering around, trying to find her sister. There were many donkeys in Encanto, but Mirabel was only one. And Luisa had never realized how much she needed Mirabel before this. No, of course, she had been favoriting Mirabel as long as her younger sister ever existed. Her soul was burning with a willingness to protect her, small and innocent child. She promised to always be but her side. And, Luisa had failed. That promise was broken, buried under the hard duty of manual labor. She wasn't there to protect Mirabel and now she was gone. 

Luisa shook her head rapidly. No, Mirabel would return in no time. She... she has to. And then, she would be crushed with attention from Luisa. The latter wouldn't stop whispering to her, saying that Mirabel mattered, that she deserved all love in the world. That she's sorry for not being there before. It wasn't important what Abuela had said, Luisa would make sure she gave Mirabel all the attention she needed. 

The voices didn't stop calling her, asking to do another favor. Luisa's head was full, the noises gave her a headache, as her mind was too focused on her baby sister to actually think about her chores. And, part of her felt disgust. Everyone was so calm, having a normal day as if Mirabel didn't run away last night. Deep inside, Luisa even felt mad at Abuela. Of course, she had respected her. But the idea of letting things be... Even if Mirabel was trying to get attention, how desperately she wanted it she she came to this measurement? And, again, Dolores didn't hear her, at least in a way that could definitely separate Mirabel from any other normal villager. As far as Luisa knew, there wasn't really any way to leave Encanto, so Mirabel had to be somewhere nearby. So, Luisa just had to keep up the search, she would find her hermanita eventually.

She had no idea what she was going to do with herself if she didn't. Luisa hadn't noticed how she got out of breathing. Luisa looked at her arms worriedly, there was something strange, the same feeling that she had yesterday. As if her endless limit of energy faltered, this painfully terrifying weakness. Something Luisa wasn't used to since the light left her door, engraving her fate in stone stronger than Tío Bruno ever could.

Tío Bruno... He disappeared one night, didn't he? And he never came back.

 What if Mira wouldn't return as well? Maybe she had joined Tío somewhere and they wouldn't meet both of them ever again.

"No!" Luisa cut herself off, she couldn't allow herself to think about it. It would only hurt her. The family's first rule was not to talk about their problems. So they didn't talk about Bruno. But, Luisa wanted to talk about Mirabel, she wanted to see her. Was it how Mama and Tía felt all these years since their brother's door went out? The weakness in her arms didn't help at all, leaving some scratching pain in her mind. Luisa had no idea what was going on, but her gift felt off, weaker than usual, than ever. And it only worsened her panic about Mirabel. 

The thing is, Luisa had always been protector of the family in some way, even before her gift. When some boys had said that Dolores' gift was boring, she was the one to yell at them, saying that it was a perfect gift for her prima. When her mom was working to the bone, Luisa led her away from the kitchen. (Was it ironic that Luisa was working just as much as Julieta if not more now?). And now, she didn't protect Mirabel, even with all her strength. And it hurt more than anything, tearing her soul apart. 

[countlessrealities]

⭐ since we have 3 other interactions , im curious to see what are your ideas are with my other muses . ^^

Send ⭐ and I will list muses I'd be interested in throwing at yours || Always accepting !

{ @treasurechcst }

I'm gonna list the ones that come to me off the top of one's head! Some I've probably already mentioned, but this way we have a written reference for the future xD

Adrien and Kagami: as I mentioned already, I'd love to throw Félix at your Miraculous muses, Adrien first and foremost, but Kagami too. I have a specific theme that I'd love to write with Félix and Adrien, but I'd firstly need to know if you've seen the latest season of the show, because I don't want to accidentally spoiler stuff. As for Kagami, I'm utterly unsatisfied with the lack of building of their relationship in canon, so I'd like to actually build their friendship.

Stitch: Mabel, of course! We have already talked about how these two could interact and I think there's so much potential for all kinds of shenanigans. I'm actually looking forward to having these two meeting xD

Hiro: since we're talking sci-fi (or well futuristic tech), my Rick and Morty muses would be the easiest to use with Hiro! He and Morty would easily be friends, or if we ever wanted to write a mentor/mentee kind of relationship, a couple of my Ricks would work real well. Also, space adventures!

Mirabel and/or Isabel: Tbh I think that Mabel could be a great friend for both Madrigal sisters. She and Mirabel are quite similar, personality-wise and Mabel would support Isabel's search for new experiences and independence. She'd drag her in tons of shenanigans, you can bet on that!

Danny: I've written a Danny Phantom/Rick and Morty crossover once, and the core ideas were pretty cool! Danny and Morty would definitely get along, and bond over their families being the weirdest of the town xD And Rick would definitely be interested in "studying" Danny's physiology, which could potentially also lead to him helping Danny explore his powers and develop them, instead of having the poor kid figuring everything out on his own by getting his butt kicked xD Also Summer could definitely play the part of the meaner older sister (and I bet Danny would end up missing Jazz's fussing after dealing with her xD)

Turtles: Last but not least, TMNT/Rick and Morty crossover, that could potentially be tied to the verse I'm developing with technodromes. Shared verses can be a lot of fun :3

[theflowercrownlady]

Whumpcember 2024 #2 - "This is your fault" [Encanto fanfic]

Day #2: “This is your fault”

Fandom: Encanto

Characters: Mirabel | Madrigal family

Warnings: Emotional trauma | Dysfunctional family

N/A: Alternate scenario. What if Antonio's door...? You know.

Whenever something went wrong, everyone where to turn their heads.

“Mirabel, was it you?”

“Of course it was Mirabel, who else?”

She was used to it.

Truth be told, Mirabel had an outstanding amount of patience. No amount of nasty comments made her change her docile, kind demeanor. Even with Isabela, she never said more than necessary. Everyone at the house knew that Mirabel could withstanding anything they threw her way.

Mirabel believed so, too.

Her resignation was so deeply set inside of her, she convinced herself it was nothing but resilience; a sincere wish for her family to be alright, and to make what was best for them.  

But one day, her beliefs were shaken to the core, when one of her worse nightmares came true… for the second time.

“Toñito…”

“No way…”

“The door…”

She felt sweat, cold and disgusting, running down her back, beneath the frills of her blouse. Her eyes found Antonio’s, his big green eyes full of the same shocked, numbing dread she felt.

She heard them talking, but she didn’t know what they said, over the ringing in her ears. She wanted to scream, to hide Antonio from prying eyes, to hide herself, to beat herself, to receive the humiliation instead of him.

The family moved away from the public. Mirabel walked, as if in a dream. Amongst the others, the whispers, the soft cries, Mirabel heard herself speak. 

“I can’t believe it,” she whispered. “Why… Why him?”

The silence that followed made her stop in her tracks. Mirabel felt a different kind of cold, colder than a November morning, colder than ice. Eyes turned to her, and she realized all of the sudden.

They were blaming her.

Her grandmother stepped forward, not willing to leave any doubt about it.

“This… this is your fault.” No one, not a single one of them, said anything different. Peppa turned her back towards her, but she could briefly see Felix, a guilty, almost disappointed look on his face before he turned around once more.

Truth struck her, a burning, seething pain in her heart, once she noticed they were shielding Antonio.

They were shielding Antonio from her.

“No one had their door disappear before. It was only until you came along, that casita started to act this way.”

Mirabel went entirely numb then. But there was an underlying feeling, burning beneath, bubbling up, like soup on a pot.

She turned her gaze to the floor, as she listened her grandmother prattle on.

Then she caught a glimpse of Antonio’s tear-stricken face, peeking from under her mother’s arm. She caught something else too, before Peppa turned him back around, away from view.

His small hand, reaching out to her.

Then it happened. An unknown, unexpected feeling, bubbling up further up the surface, and she was unable to stop it. She didn’t care to identify it; but something inside of her whispered it was rage.

“How can you say things like that?”

Her grandmother halted whatever she was saying, about honoring family, or what-not. “Beg your pardon?”

“I said,” Mirabel repeated, “How can you say so many awful things? To your own granddaughter? You think I wanted this to happen? That I had anything to do with it? I would have given anything, anything at all, so Antonio could have his door!”

She had raised her voice at some point, and could see the shock in her parents’ faces, the whole family. But her grandmother’s face was turning ashen and stony, eyeing her up and down, as if she had morphed into someone else.

“That’s cruel. That’s so cruel. You blame me of everything that’s out of your control, and now you’ll do the same to him!”

“Mirabel, that’s eno—”

“No! It’s not nearly enough. You’re always… always shoving me away, always keeping me in the dark, where I do not bother you, or the gifts all of you have!”

She staggered back, breathing shakily.

“Mirabel, love…” her mother started; but not even her could calm her down.

“No!” She turned around before she could regret it, eyes tight shut, overwhelmed with tears. “Not this time. It’s too much. It’s just too much.”

She ran. And even though she returned, and days went by, things were never quite the same after that. The cracks on the house spread, like a plague, until the place couldn’t take it anymore. Suddenly, no one had a door anymore. Mirabel felt a guilty, twisted sense of triumphant, watching as the rest of the Madrigal struggled to find a meaning, without their gifts. Which is why she couldn’t help the depressing, ominous thought, that perhaps her grandmother had been right all along. Perhaps it was her fault.

[thronelessking]

honestly. listen. i just think two guys who have no sense of self, one through events in their life, and one entirely on purpose because there's no reason for norgorber to have a sense of personality that isn't the equivalent of liquid. there's a reason there are for of him (as interpreted on this blog) and all of them have a very distinct personality of their own to cover the spectrum of Extremely Evil guy. Even as his most normal, Mirabelle is a scheming, conniving bastard who is doing whatever he has to do to get ahead and get you wrapped around his finger. the faith of norgorber after all is how far will you go to keep your secrets, how far will you go to satiate your greed no matter what that greed may be.

so at his core, he can't embody more than an incredibly greedy person, it doesn't mean he doesn't have one. it just means that his personality is the equivalent of a void; in no way can mirabelle ever be satiated, truly, he wants all the wealth he can accrue, all the secrets he can steal, and he craves blood being spilled in his name. all of which are things that cornelius is giving him in spades because while cornelius is also a void who destructively craves every bit of his god, he's aware that to get what he wants, he has to appease the greedy and he does so with zeal. what if you were perhaps, not entirely two voids personified, but simply a singular greedy snake consuming itself in a cycle of consumption and reward.

it just happens that one of the many things cornelius sacrificed at the metaphorical altar is any chance of developing a sense of self, something that is the ultimate show of devotion because what is the faith of norgorber but looking into the polished black mask you're given and seeing yourself in him, not seeing him in you.

its about having an identity but the identity is entirely what he gives you and accepting it; giving yourself up to him so he can add you too to his unending collection. the more eagerly you do such, the more you commit to doing so, and let him have that sort of control over you and entirely dominate your personhood, the better and as it turns out cornelius did that.

i love him that absolutely insane man who looked at one of the most cruel and despised gods in all of golarion, because what does norgorber represent but the most horrible and depraved evils of mortal life, and went. i want that. all of it. to which his god went, you can have it if you give me everything in turn. now that guy is locked into the most evilest form of marriage and has four fucked up evil wives instead of one fucked up evil wife that picked him up when he joined the faith and went.

this one, this one will absolutely throw himself into the deepest, darkest depths for me. i'm going to make sure he's chained to that sort of darkness. Forever.

what if you were a dude and you managed to romance your god and now you're Evil Married and about to be even more evilly married at the end of the adventure path that as it turns out, your evil god wife has been preparing you for behind your back for literal years.

it will be my turn to write the insane stream of consciousness essay about mirabelle and cornelius soon but not exactly this morning:

but damn dude are they so married and so abhorrent as people

[radiorenjun]

shapeshifting frolics ii || camilo madrigal

¤ pairing: camilo madrigal x reader

¤ genre: fluff. Just fluff lmao

¤ synopsis: once again, camilo should really stop shape shifting as other people just to talk to you.

¤ warnings: character inaccuracy? honestly the man has 30 seconds of screentime in the whole movie I have nothing to work with here

¤ wordcount: 2.6k

¤ a/n: MOOTS LOOK AWAY THIS IS ANOYHER FEVER DREAM. THIS IS A ONE TIME THING I SWEAR YALL JUST DREAMING LOOK AWAY JUSEYO. Also I ain't colombian or Hispanic nor do I speak fluent Spanish, please correct me if I said anything wrong ♡

¤ regrettably tagging: @c-sanshine @roochcooch @koishua

It was just another regular day in the life of Camilo Madrigal.

Shushing crying babies in town, teasing his cousin Isabela with every given chance, mocking his sister and his own father by shapeshifting into them and mimicking their voices around the house and sneaking more food from his Aunt Julietta’s kitchen into his plate. ‘All in a day’s work of a 15 year old Madrigal’ as he would often say with an enthusiastic, cocky salute of his two fingers. Well, all in a day’s work except-

“Good morning, Camilo!” you exclaimed, carrying a basket of fresh flowers Isabela had grown, waving at the shapeshifting boy as you walked past him. The boy squeaked in response, startled as he turned his head around so fast to catch a small glimpse of you, Mirabel swore he was going to get a whiplash. Nearly dropping down the apple he had picked from a nearby tree, the boy couldn’t even utter a response as you walked into Mariano’s house, indicating that Mariano’s mother had requested more flowers for her new vases.  

Camilo physically deflated as he realised that he was way too late to respond, eyes trailing along your bright figure as he watched you knock the door. You held the basket to your hip, sticking your tongue out slightly as you struggled to carry the heavy object with one hand and used your free one to knock on the wooden door. The curly haired boy then frowned as he took a dull bite of his half eaten apple. 

“Better luck next time, Camilo,” he muttered to himself, tossing the apple up and catching it in the air with a heavy sigh as his cousin watched him with a deadpan expression. “You do know you could just talk to her like a normal human being instead of moping and sulking around like a weirdo, right?” Mirabel raised her eyebrow up at how dramatic her cousin was being, placing a hand on her hip as she fought the urge to roll her eyes. Camilo was acting as if he and you were star crossed lovers from two different worlds, you couldn’t blame her for fighting the urge to smack him upside the head. 

The boy then turned to his cousin, putting his hands together to emphasize on how pathetically desperate he felt, lips pressed together into a makeshift pout that made Mirabel sick to her stomach. “I am truly at loss, prima. I will never be able to have the courage to talk to mi future amor,” he whined, finishing what’s left off of his apple before throwing the core away recklessly behind him. “Stop littering,” she sighed, shaking her head as she kneeled down to grab the stem of what’s left of the apple with her two fingered before throwing it away properly. 

Grinding her palms together to brush off the dust away in disgust, she turned back to her sulking cousin as Camilo’s eyes never left the Guzmans’ house. She swore that he resembled that of a housewife waiting for her husband to come back home from the war. “Honestly, Camilo, you should just go up and talk to her. It physically hurts me to see you even more dramatic than usual,” she laid an arm across his shoulder, patting him on the back encouragingly. “Because this is getting sad, really sad and pathetic, amigo,” she gave him an encouraging smile. 

He gave her a weary smile, half lidded eyes filled with sarcasm before frowning abruptly. “I can tell, you’re being really helpful right now. Way more helpful than your gift,” he swatted her arm away from, eyes glancing back and forth from Mirabel’s offended frown to the bag slung across her shoulder. “Really helpful,” he repeated once again with an affirming nod, the sardonic tone in his voice being the cherry on top to the loopy smile hanging off of his lips. 

“If you really want to talk to her, we could help you,” Isabela’s voice startled Camilo, causing him to yelp and jump in response. “Oh Dios, don’t do that! You scared me,” he hissed, putting a hand on his chest as he glared menacingly at his older cousin, the smirk adorning her lips enough as the boy brushed off the dust off of his ruana, grumbling under his breath. “I don’t need help, I’m fine with admiring Y/n from a far,” he crossed his arms across his chest, giving his two cousins a pointed look. 

The two sisters shared knowing looks, shaking their heads in disappointment. “Hey, Y/n is making her way over here,” Isabela exclaimed, looking over Camilo’s shoulder enthusiastically. Once again, the boy jumped in his stance, his gift allowing him to shapeshift into you for a brief moment out of pure instinct and panic before morphing back to his usual self. Head spinning so fast to catch a quick glimpse of you with a tensed form, he let out a small squeak as a small ‘Y/n? Where?’ was elicited from his throat. 

Realising that you weren’t anywhere near, he realised Isabela was only messing with him again. The light laughter that erupted between the two Madrigal sisters was enough to cause the 15 year old boy to frown, physically deflating once again as he let out a small ‘dammit, fooled again’ under his breath to mask his embarrassment, fists clenched tightly as he turned his head to the side to avoid the teasing glares given by his cousins. 

“Yeah, no, you definitely- no, desperately need our help,” Isabela snorted, flipped her hair away from her shoulder as she patted Camilo’s shoulder before walking past him. 

-

“Well good afternoon to you, Isabela!” you exclaimed with a delighted wave of your hand. 

“Y/n, where are you going?” she asked, walking up to you with a peculiar smile, giving you signals that she had something planned up her sleeve.(not that she has any sleeves) “Home? I heard that your mom had given mine the recipe to her iconic empanadas,” you sighed, swallowing your saliva at the reminder of the scrumptious taste of Julietta’s cooking. “What about you? You don’t look like you’re planning something good,” you raised your brow at her, wiggling your eyebrows together. 

Isabela scoffed, laughing in disbelief as she waved you off. “Me? Planning something? Who do you think I am? Mirabel?” she shook her head at you in an almost offended tone, walking alongside you as she waved at a few of the townsfolk who called out her name to greet her. “I was going over to buy some more berries, Abuela thinks my mom needs more for her newest recipe or something,” she said, looking at her hand casually as if she was trying to avoid eye contact to prevent herself from getting caught lying. 

Scrunching your face in confusion with a perplexed smile stretched across your face, you let out a small hum. “I thought Tia Julietta went out to pick her ingredients herself,” you hummed, scratching your chin in confusion, eliciting a few ‘uhms’ from the pretty Madrigal beside you. “Well, I figured today was supposed to be the day Mami could rest a bit, you know? I thought I’d do her a favor and buy her ingredients,” she explained with a slightly nervous tone, an uneasy smile stretched across her face. 

“That’s sweet of you,” you chuckled softly, clearly not wanting to pry into her any further considering it wasn’t really your business to ponder why she was being so uneasy in front of you. “Well, I’m going to see you later, gotta go buy some berries!” She said with an awkward smile stretched across her face, turning to part ways with you, causing you to be even more perplexed. “But the berry stand is down the road?” you reminded her with the kindest tone you could muster to avoid appearing rude. Her eyes widened slightly, her throat running dry before letting out a nervous giggle. 

“These are special berries,” she said abruptly before waving goodbye at you and turning away to leave without another word. 

Watching her disappear within a few minutes, you placed your hands on your hips in slight concern, furrowing your brows. “That senorita really needs some time for herself, she looks very tense,” you muttered under your breath before shaking your head, letting your hands lay limp on your sides as you turned around the corner right where your house was supposed to be after letting out a small, casual shrug. 

It was then, as if on cue, a vine had grown from the soil underneath, inevitably causing you to trip over it and stumble on your own two feet. Letting out a small noise, you shut your eyes tight to prepare yourself from making contact with the concrete floor before an arm wrapped itself around your waist and a hand grabbing your forearm, your face coming in contact with a familiar soft fabric. Your senses were almost instantaneously engulfed in the familiar scent of someone's cologne.

Pausing, you looked up to see Camilo staring down at you with a nervous smile stretched across his lips. "Oh, Camilo, you caught me," you exclaimed, feeling your heart soar at the fact that he was the one who managed to save you from falling flat on your face. Regaining your composure, you stumbled to get on your feet, feeling your skin heat up under his touch as he, as usual, proceeded to not utter a word.

"Thank you, you saved me from getting my face squashed like an arepa," you joked with a light snicker, causing the boy's smile to widen bashfully as he pulled his arms away from you slowly, as if they never wanted to leave in the first place. "I-" he opened his mouth to say something but alas, his throat went dry as the words he longed to say got jammed up. "Yes?" You leaned your head to the side, signifying that he could proceed with his words and that he should just spit out whatever was on his mind.

Was this the moment Camilo finally gathered the courage to spark up a conversation with you?

It was surely bound to happen someday right?

Well unfortunately for everyone involved, that day wasn't today.

"You should really watch your step if you don't want to fall into your own doom," he said with a joking tone before abruptly leaving without another word, hissing under his breath at how awkward he sounded as he made a run for it, completely ignoring how his two cousins watching him from a far were probably frowning at him with utter disappointment. 

Mirabel could only sigh as Isabela pressed her palm to her face in disappointment. "Well, that could've gone way worse," Mirabel shrugged, watching Camilo disappear around the corner, ignoring a few of the people looking at him with confusion and bizarreness as he ran faster than Antonio's jaguar. "I had some hope he would actually talk to her this time, or at least finish the plan," the flowery senorita grumbled under her breath, tapping her feet against the floor to produce small cactuses and flowers under the soles of her shoes.

"Maybe next time, I guess. Want to go back home before he starts hogging all of the arepa con quesos again?"

-

You averted your gaze from the bright blue sky the moment you felt a small tug on your sleeve, turning to see that none other than Antonio Madrigal was sitting on the bench right beside you with an adorable smile stretched across his face as he moved to sit beside you. For once, he didn't have some random animal following behind him, not even a bird! It was rather peculiar to see the animal loving boy without being surrounded by the things that made his gift glow from afar.

"Antonio! What brings you here?" You exclaimed brightly, scooting over to make more room for him on the wooden bench, leaning your head to the side expectantly. The cute, cheeky boy smiled silently, reaching over his pocket to pull out a small flower. You assumed he had picked this up somewhere from his house or maybe perhaps, he had asked Isabela to bloom a flower so that he could give you one. Nonetheless, it made your heart bubble up like water in a kettle over a stove.

Cooing softly, you gently grabbed the flower from his small grip with your two fingers, staring at the green plant with awe. "Thank you, you really didn't have to. This is so sweet of you," you chuckled, twirling the stem in between your fingers before looking back at the small boy sitting innocently beside you. Giggling softly, you reached over to plant a soft kiss on his cheek, nuzzling your nose against his soft skin. "You can cut the act now, Camilo, you ain't fooling me this time," you grinned giddily, watching the boy beside you grow his eyes wide in surprise.

Camilo gulped as he shapeshifted back into his regular self, his hair bouncing as he returned to his normal height. Placing a hand on the spot you kissed as his mind racked to comprehend what had just happened. "How did you know?" He asked incredulously, baffled by how you were able to easily identify him even though he was posing as someone else. Chuckling lightly, you leaned back against the bench before turning your head back to him, pressing your cheek against the wood. "You shapeshift to other people too much just to talk to me. Oh Dios, I'm somehow able to tell you and other people apart now," you grinned with a small giggle.

He let out a bashful laugh of his own, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck as he looked down at his sandals. "I do that alot, huh?" He mumbled under his breath, his smile never leaving his facial features as he kicked his own feet to swallow his nerves. You let out an affirming hum, nodding before leaning over to ruffle the curls on his head gingerly. "Don't worry, I find it cute that you're trying. It's not everyday that Camilo Madrigal shapeshifts to other people in a weak attempt to talk to you but also fails in the process," you shrugged, your tone filled with sarcasm and light hearted teasing.  

"Now you're just making fun of me," he deadpanned, frowning at you with a roll of his eyes as he attempted to mask his own embarrassment by placing his chin on his hand. "Well you're making a good conversation with me now, aren't you?" You teased in a sing-song voice, shaking your head from side to side. Letting out a soft laugh, Camilo shrugged before mimicking your actions and leaning back against the bench. "I guess making fun of my stupidity counts as making conversation," he sighed heavily, his hand still caressing the spot you kissed.

Giggling lightly, you avert your gaze up back to the bright sky (seems like Pepa was in a good mood that day). "You know, I think I would prefer if you talk to me face to face like this instead of shapeshifting to Dolores or Antonio or Mirabel just to give me Tia Julietta’s arepa every day," you admitted truthfully in hopes that he would actually listen to you for once. Camilo placed his hands on his stomach as he leaned his head to the side to face yours. "Really?" He asked in awe. 

Humming as you nodded in affirmation, you leaned over to press the petals of the flower against your nose. 

"Will I get another kiss on the cheek if I do?"

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Halloween! Matriarch Mirabel or girl "Mo Xuanyu"?

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Lan Zhan isn’t talking to him, which isn’t unusual, but he keeps looking at him, which is. He’s not sure what to do about it and it’s making him uneasy but he’s pretty sure bringing it up will just end in another argument, which will upset Sizhui, and he doesn’t want that.

Mo Xuanyu’s core is stronger, reacting to the fear and adrenaline like he’d hoped it would. He’s always been particularly good at that, honestly, at making the surge of his core a new base level rather than letting it settle. It’s not a skill he knows how to teach, no matter how often he’d tried with Jiang Cheng, but it’s nice to have confirmation that it is a skill and not something innate.

He wants to jump off another cliff or something, but he knows the patrol would rate him out before he could get anywhere close.

Well. Stress doesn’t have to be surprising to be effective.

He goes over to where a group of seniors are practicing. When they notice him, they all pause and bow to him in unison. It’s a little creepy, but he doesn’t focus on that. “I want you to help me with my training.”

“Of course, Madame Lan,” says one of the girls who’s name escapes him. He hadn’t been planning to stick around, so he hadn’t learned anyone’s name, but he’s starting to regret that. “What do you need?”

“Attack me,” he says bluntly. “I’m going to use a sound muffling talisman and wear a blind fold so I won’t be able to see you or hear you. Don’t stop until I tell you to.”

They exchange nervous looks. “What if we hurt you, Madame Lan? How will you defend yourself if you can’t see or hear?”

He smirks. Some of them lean backwards, probably without realizing it. “Don’t worry about that. Raise your swords.”  

[heretohelptheidiots]

Clearing trails

18+ you have been warned

@djtjsmith14 I ran with your idea.

Today was the day. You would finally tell her. Nothing would stand in your way. No hesitation, no fear. You would be bold and.

“Hi y/n.”

“H-hi Luisa.” Well so much for that. “You look really nice today. I mean you look nice everyday, I mean-“

“Thanks, you too.” Luisa said, using her hip to move a boulder had rolled onto one of the forest paths. It never ceased to amaze you how she could do that. “Did you need something?”

“No! No, I just wanted to spend time with you. Unless I’m bothering you, and then I can-“

“You’re fine. The company is nice.” She favored you with a warm smiled that put butterflies in your stomach.

“S-so, how are you?” You asked, leaning against a tree, trying to look alluring.

“I’m fine, it’s been interesting having Tio Bruno back among us. And the rats are definitely an adjustment.” You nodded. “Let’s see, what else? Things are going better with Isa and Mirabel, so that’s a relief. People around town as doing a bunch of their own heavy lifting which has me only doing the stuff they can’t. That’s weird, but not bad. I do worry that some of them are going to over do it. I don’t want people getting hurt.”

“You really are a good person, you know?” You said, walking a little closer. Luisa tried to wave off the compliments. “No really, you go so far out of your way for the good of everyone else, and take care of everyone’s problems. Somebody should be taking care of you.”

“I’m taken care of. I have my family all watching out for me.” She turned to look at you, a realization dawning on her face before her expression became unreadable.

“Oh I uh, I think I hear my mother calling me-“ you said turning to leave

“Unless you gained Dolores’s power, no you don’t.” Luisa grabbed your wrist carefully pulling you back around. Her other hand came to the small of your back guiding you in closer. You went pink, but didn’t try to pull away, enjoying how close she was.

“I take it my feelings aren’t unrequited?” You breathed.

“No.”

“I’ve never done this before.”

“I have.”

“Wait, really? Who? Nevermind you don’t have to-“

“Juanita.”

“You and Juanita the ice Queen?” You asked, quite taken aback by that revelation.

“Yeah, there were a few times she wasn’t completely fridgid, and there’s a reason we aren’t on speaking terms anymore.”

“I never knew. I must be oblivious to have missed that.”

“I’ve liked you for two years.”

“Oh, really oblivious then.” Luisa laughed and kissed your forehead.

“It’s alright, I didn’t have very much time to spend with you before, but now, I get to have you all to myself.” To illustrate her point, she picked you up, setting you carefully on a rock, her body between your legs. You gasped softly before reaching up and guiding her face to yours.

The kisses started slow and soft, increasing in aggression and need as time went on. One of your hands tangled in the soft curls while the other gripped the back of her shirt. Her hands were not nearly so still. They roamed across your body squeezing, pulling, pushing your skirts up your legs. You gasped and pulled away as they squeezed the tops of your thighs, her thumbs dangerously close to your core.

“Do you want me to stop?” Her voice was rough, her pupils lust blown. A red glow was across her cheeks, and her breathing was a little ragged.

“No. I just… I haven’t. How would this even work?” You panted.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” The answer came without a single hesitation. She nodded, picking you back up and laying you down on the soft grass. Her hands found the waist of your underwear and pulled it down your legs. Once they were out of the way, she began to kiss your inner thighs, one hand holding you legs apart, the other reaching up to touch your breasts. Her breath occasionally went over your core causing your hips to twitch toward the sensation.

“Please.” You whined, needing more. Luisa didn’t require anymore prompting. She lifted your hips, her hands holding your thighs exactly where she wanted them as her tongue stroked along your clit in slow circles, occasionally dipping in, rubbing the spot just inside. You did try to hold still, your hands gripping the grass, but doing anything against Luisa’s grip was futile as she sped up, not wanting to leave you waiting too long. You tried to muffle your pleasured cries with a hand, found that you couldn’t hold that still long enough. You repeated her name over and over again with increasing desperation until the shock waves hit. She kept licking was you whimpered and thrashed, drawing it out as long as she could until.

“Ple-please stop.” You asked. She gently set your trembling body down, before wiping her mouth.

“You okay?” She asked, moving over the top of you, her hands to either side of your head.

“Y-yeah.” You panted. You sat up a little, kissing her softly. She groaned a little, pressing you back down, letting you take some of her bodywieght. You shifted slightly and she let you push her over.

You needed her help to remove her underwear, and she stopped you before you could get to far.

“Use your fingers, I don’t want your head getting hurt, it’s been a while, so my control might be weaker than it was.” She guided gently, pulling you in for another kiss. You hummed a little in response, putting both hands to work squeezing her breasts. She moaned, pressing into your hands, her kisses becoming messier with the increased pleasure. Your fingers dipped between her legs, a single digit caressing her clit. She gave a shuddering gasp, as you continued lightly brushing.

“Please. Harder.” She commanded, you gave an even lighter stroke before actually increasing the pressure. “Tea-ahh!” She gasped. Her face turned away from yours leaving her neck exposed to a onslaught of kisses and love bites as she fought to stay still.

“Y/n yes, right there. Right there. Ah.” Her muscles locked, holding her in place as her clit throbbed. “Stopstopstop!” She gasped, you did as you were told and she curled her legs into her body. “Yup it’s been a minute.” She said her limbs shaking.

“Did I do something wrong?” You asked, crawling forward to her head.

“No. No that’s was, that was good.” She panted. You’d never seen Luisa actually looking like she had exerted herself before. It was pretty cute though. “I need to clear trails with you more often.”

[rigormortisorwhatever]

something that i noticed the first time i watched encanto that has completely set the tone for how i see bruno’s character is when mirabel finds his “plate”, his reasoning for leaving was that his “gift wasnt helping the family.” not because “they hated me” “they were mad at me” “they bullied me” “i felt mistreated.” while all those are probably reasons too, and completely valid reasons, the reason that he first goes for, the CORE REASON, the deciding factor of whether or not he would leave, is because he felt harmful to the family. he left because he cared about them so much that he knew if he stayed he would just hurt them more no matter what they did, and he left out of love. not hate. not shame. not fear. because he LOVED them too much to bear to see them feel hurt any more. even if it was never his fault, giving them the illusion that he completely vanished made him feel like they could be at peace, he felt like he could see his family be able to be happy. its such a sad truth, but its because he cared so much. i dont think he ever planned to truly leave the encanto let alone Casita, that wasnt his plan. he just wanted to make them think he did so he could finally see them not feel anxious. and he wanted to SEE them be happy, he wanted to be there to see his family feel happy together. i keep imagining the family having dinner together and every night bruno sits and has dinner with them. even if he hasnt received his food yet, he still joins them. i can hear him muttering to himself made up conversations directed at him or responding to things that they say and ask at the dinner table just quiet enough for only him (and dolores) to hear. because he loves them and wanted to be part of them because he loves them so much, but he would do anything to see them be happy, and he knew what that would cost. bruno is the kindest character in the entire movie, and actually probably ever. he is a truly pure of heart soul, completely selfless and caring and loving. he held no real resentment to anyone in the family, he was just sad he couldn’t join them. he was in pain but he didnt blame them, even if he shouldve. even if it was completely their fault. he loved them too much to put the blame on him, and he’s emotionally intelligent enough to understand their thought processes and WHY they always felt that way about and around him. he is completely empathetic and very observant and wise, even if he seems very silly and weird. i think those parts actually make him even more intelligent. ive never seen a character like him before and i cant stop thinking about how much i love this little rat man