#minus the doodles of mari with long hair

[codgod]

okay new plan for the day i’m gonna draw slimeriana

[bottleofspilledink]

God’s Watching, Put on a Show || Chapter IX

“So…” Eve began, staring at the various stands and stalls and tables with all sorts of different agendas, occasionally shifting her gaze to the people who would weave between it all.

In every sense of the word, today was, for lack of a better word, eventful.

This was most likely why, when they were gathered in the gymnasium for club sign-ups, the pair simply stood amidst the somewhat organized chaos, clueless.

“What now?” Eve pulled out the club sign-up form from her skirt pocket, thankful she hadn’t lost it in all the ruckus. “My offer still stands, I really don’t mind letting you pick the club we join.”

“I mean. I already told you earlier that I don’t really care what club we go to either way.” Lilith shrugged. She wasn’t trying to sound apathetic, but she couldn’t really remember the last time she enjoyed club time solely for it’s activities and not the friends she would do them with. “You pick.”

“Alright, we’re not gonna get anywhere with this, so how about a compromise?”

“I’m listening,” Lilith chuckled. Of course Eve would be the type to suggest something like that.

The girl in question blushed at the sound, but fought to gather her thoughts and continue.

“You can tell me the clubs you don’t like and I’ll do the same. After we narrow down the list, we can settle on a club that we both like, or at least a club that on of us can tolerate.”

“Okay, but let me tell you now, there are a lot of clubs I don’t like.”

It was Eve’s turn to laugh, her hand automatically coming to cover her mouth as she grinned and giggled.

“Tell me anyway.”

“No music club,” Lilith said, right off the bat. “I’m a mediocre singer and I don’t want to spend two or three hours a week singing hymns.”

“Reasonable enough.” Eve recalled being given a small flier when they entered, the colourful paper listing all available clubs and emptied her pockets once more in search of it before crossing out the words “music club” with a pen she had found while looking for the paper. “Anything else?”

“No home economics. You know why.”

Eve just nodded an drew a line across it.

She was doing this to make up for what she did, not draw attention to it.

“And lastly,” Lilith said, voice tinted with humor as she tried to lighten the mood, somewhat guilty when she saw Eve’s face fall when she mentioned home economics, “no math club. ‘Cause I’m not a nerd.”

The girl succeeded, getting a tiny, genuine laugh from Eve that made her heart flutter like a hummingbird’s wing whenever it graced her ears.

“It’s fine, I’m bad at math too.”

Lilith visibly perked up at the words, the teasing grin Eve had so missed making a comeback at long last, “I never said I was bad at math. I’m pretty good at it, actually. I just don’t like doing it more than I have to.”

“Really?” Eve joked, displaying a mock-disbelief. Lilith was no idiot, though judging by her work ethic when it came to CLE, Eve couldn’t help but make a few assumptions. “What score did you get on the practice test a few days ago then?”

“Ninety-four percent.”

At that Eve’s eyes grew wide as saucers. That was better than she had gotten, and, more surprisingly, it was better than what Mary had gotten, ninety percent, an A minus that paled in comparison to Lilith’s A.

“Oh. That’s neat.” What could she say in response to that?

Fortunately, she didn’t have to struggle to say more, as Lilith returned the question to her.

“What did you get on the test.” Lilith wasn’t the type to gloat, at least not to a person she liked, but the thought of Eve thinking her a fool or a failure wasn’t the kind of image she wanted to project either.

“Eighty-seven…” She stared at the floor in shame, suddenly enamored in the scuff marks a muddy sneaker had left on the floor, shame flooding her face in the form of blood, her cheeks taking on a soft pink for different reasons now. Who could have left this here? A student who had forgotten to clean the soles of her shoes? A janitor, maybe?

Lilith couldn’t help but melt at the sight, immediately speaking to comfort the girl.

“Hey, come on. There’s no need to be embarrassed, that’s a pretty good grade, especially coming from someone who says they’re bad at math!” She clasped Eve’s shoulder and gave a gentle, encouraging squeeze, trying to get her to look up from the floor. “That’s like, what, a solid B? A B plus even?”

When that didn’t work, she slid her hand down to Eve’s and ran the pad of her thumb over the soft skin before giving another, more tender squeeze. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to embarrass you when I asked that. If you want, I can help you review for the next test?” She put on a smile and tried to sound optimistic, mind running a mile a minute as she tried to figure out what to say next.

“There’s always room for improvement!” Lilith said, stealing one of Paula’s lines in the rare occasion that Joan flubbed a test or lost a game. She’d have to thank her for that later.

Meanwhile, Eve hoped that Lilith wouldn’t be able to feel her pulse through her wrist, the pink hue her face took on having faded, only to return with a vengeance when Lilith opted to hold her hand, the way the girl soothed her thumb over her knuckles nearly sending her into cardiac arrest, the momentary squeeze stealing the air from her lungs and running for the hills, if only for an instant before she mustered up enough breath to speak.

“You’d really do that? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better?”

“Are you kidding me?” Lilith grinned, incredulous. “Of course I’d help! With a score like that, there isn’t even all that much to do.”

The way Eve looked at her when she said those words, amber eyes adoring and brimming with marvel as it were, Lilith couldn’t bring herself to look away, it was like she was lost and slowly, willingly sinking into the entrancing, honeyed hue that was Eve’s eyes.

She could hardly handle being the subject of the girl’s gratitude-filled gaze, her heart clenching tenderly when Eve smiled at her, because of her, soft and sweet, dimples appearing on her rosy cheeks, unaware of the near-painful longing that welled up in Lilith’s chest.

In the split second silence, Lilith wondered whether it was for better or worse that Eve didn’t know how her heart ached whenever she made her smile, knowing that Eve, kind person she was, would never want to hurt her, even in the most gentle way, the soft tightening of her chest Lilith herself would sometimes even long for.

“Anyway,” Eve said, breaking the quiet that had settled over them, “I really can’t join the art club, so that’s out of the question. My drawing skills are literally non-existent.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! The best I can do are stick figures, bee doodles, and really loopy flowers.”

They scratched that off the list and began roaming around, Eve unsure of what clubs were a hard no for her but wanting to narrow down the list further.

“Oh, definitely no debate club.” She said out the moment she saw their stand, stopwatch, hardwood podium and all.

“Okay, but why?” Lilith took the list from her and crossed it out, skimming over it in search of clubs the both of them could enjoy.

“They’re sca-“

“Lilith!”

A girl with shoulder-length black hair swishing slightly with every step came up from behind them and hugged Lilith with a fierce grip, nearly making the both of them fall to the ground in the process, her long-suffering partner, local gossip girl, Margaret, merely trailing a few paces behind her, not wanting to be associated with the girl who managed to make at least eleven heads turn towards them.

“Joan told me everything this morning. Where is she?” The girl let go, swinging her head around frantically and craning her neck in an exaggerated search. “I’m gonna beat this chick’s ass if it’s the last thing I do!”

Finally, Margaret came closer and tried to put a stop to whatever was unfolding. “Swearing is against the rules, Julia. I can report you for that.”

The girl, Julia, apparently, turned to look at her partner, joyful demeanor fading in an instant.

“So is make-up and cheating, but you don’t see me yapping about it, do you?”

That shut Margaret up effectively, cheeks probably red with indignance under her foundation.

“Anyway, where is the bitch? I’ll-“

“Okay, before you finish that sentence, I think you should know that the girl you’re calling a bitch is right beside me. Right now.” Lilith said, grabbing her by the shoulders and making her face Eve.

Julia looked at her.

She looked at Julia.

“Hi.”

“Oh shit. Hey…” They stared at each other, a split second of tension filled silence passing between them. “I’m not taking back what I said though, you’re a bitch. I mean seriously, I get not being gay but did you have to- OW!”

Lilith’s elbow met Julia’s rib, harshly.

“When did Joan say all this?” She sighed. The last thing she needed right now was someone making Eve feel worse after everything that happened today, especially now that they were just starting to patch things up and talk free of any awkwardness.

“I already told you, she said all that this morning. We sat next to each other in CLE and passed notes while Sister Jane wasn’t looking.”

“Julia, you’re fucking nuts and I love you for that,” Lilith sighed again, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration, “but now is really not the time. Go ask Joan or Paula to catch you up on things, they should be around here somewhere. We’re busy looking for a club. Until they tell you what happened earlier, you can not call Eve anything except Eve.”

“Oh wow, okay. I must have missed something big if you’re defending the girl who made you sob so hard, you almost-”

“The details aren’t important! Besides, you weren’t there, so you don’t know what happened.”

Julia raised a brow at the girl, shutting up to help her save face, but going in for one last tease before she went looking for Paula to see the whole picture, “I literally just said that Joan told me everything, but okay.” She put her hands up in a sort of surrender. “Say what you want, babe! I’ll get the truth out of you the next time we get wasted anyways, so yeah!” And with that she turned to leave before, rather impulsively, Eve called out to her.

“What club did you join?”

“You’re really gonna look at me and not immediately assume I’m in the softball club? You offend me, Eve. I mean really! You know what they say about softball. It’s the sport of my people!”

The blonde merely stood in silence, absolutely dumbfounded, mouth opening and closing like a fish yet not a syllable leaving her lips.

Julia cackled, tossing her head back and ruffling her soft curls. “Oh God, she doesn’t know?” She asked Lilith, her eyebrows raised so far up that no one watching would be surprised if they receded even further back to join the hair on her head. “You really know how to pick ‘em, sweetheart!”

She walked away, giggling and giving them – well, more Lilith than Eve – finger guns all the while.

“Okay, I’m just going to ask. What was that whole thing about softball about?”

At this, Lilith herself couldn’t help but laugh. “Basically, it’s kinda a stereotype that, and this isn’t a thing we made up, lesbians play softball.”

Eve’s look of confusion turned to bafflement turned to a somewhat exasperated and incredulous amusement. “That makes no sense, but I’m going with it anyway. How did that even start?”

“I actually don’t know, but we went along with it too, cause why the fuck not? You know?” Lilith shrugged and they continued walking again. “There’s probably a bit of truth in there somewhere. It’s how Joan and Paula got together, so there’s that! And Julia has an ex that used to be a member.”

Eve took the list back from her while she was distracted, eyes quickly scanning over it to see if Lilith had crossed anything out while it was in her possession. “I’m assuming there’s a story behind that?”

“Yup!” She snatched the flier away from Eve once more, holding it high above her head when the girl tried to get it again. “But not one you get to hear. Not yet.”

She huffed at that. Eve, despite already standing on her toes, the four inch height difference between them made it so she couldn’t get the list back from Lilith.

“Okay then. But one last question.”

“Yeah?”

“Sweetheart? Babe?” Eve asked, a twinge of jealousy in her. Granted, she had no right to be, at least in her own mind she didn’t. She wasn’t even supposed to be feeling anything for Lilith other than disdain, but what could she do? Her only consolation was the fact she’d yet to act on said emotions.

Technically.

Eve tried to justify what she could, mind jumping from hoop to hoop, connecting loose strings, drawing lines between dots that were barely there. Earlier wasn’t anything akin to love. It was just a friend taking care of a friend.

Yes.

“Oh, that? Yeah, Julia calls everyone that, really. It’s nothing personal.” Lilith felt delusional. Were her feeling for Eve so strong as to warp her mind and affect her hearing, going so far as to imagine Eve’s voice with a pang of envy. “If you get on her good side, she’ll probably call you something too. Not what she called you earlier, though.”

A wave of relief washed over the blonde… followed immediately by guilt for feeling said relief.

It was nothing another round of mental gymnastics couldn’t fix.

The only reason she was relieved was because Lilith not being in a relationship meant that she wasn’t beyond saving.

Of course.

“I hope so, too.” Eve said. They turned to walk down a different aisle, about forty-five minutes left for them to find and join a club.

The pair strolled between stalls leisurely, narrowing down the list bit by bit, encircling the ones they had taken a particular liking to, chatting about clubs.

“The gardening club seems cool.” Lilith suggested, looking at their small stall decorated with small, origami flowers, the girls who ran it not having the heart to pluck what they had grown just yet. “It’s outside so I get some fresh air and it’s no sport, so you won’t have to strain yourself like you did in gym. Whaddya think of it?”

She looked over at Eve, only to see her frowning, a mix of disappointment and contempt in her eyes.

“I’d love to join, but I’m not allowed. My mom doesn’t like me gardening.” Her frown turned into a pout, eyes growing glassy with frustrated tears that had been building up for nearly a decade now. “She made me stop when I was eight because my hands were getting rough…”

“Use me.”

“What?”

“Use me as an excuse. Tell her I made you join it.”

Her words were temptation, the apple offered to Eve by the serpent.

Lilith held the sign-up slip and the red pen out to her, the folded paper an open invitation to rebellion. She wouldn’t force Eve, however, wanting this decision, this sin, to be hers and hers alone, the girl refusing to even write her own name on the paper.

Eve could feel the fifth commandment ringing in her ears, as the Eve before her knew she was defying god.

“Honour thy father and thy mother.”

And yet, Eve could also feel the dirt between her fingers and under her nails, the weight of a trowel in her hands, the sun beating on her back through the gaps in the leaves of their oak tree, the scent of the earth and the flowers carried by the breeze.

The nagging voice in her ears faded and morphed to the gentle buzzing of the bees and the high-pitched chirping of the birds.

Eve took the form and filled it up.

Eve took the apple and ate of it.

______________________________

Taglist: @anon-nom-nom95 @melpomenismask @littlemisscalamity @i-wanna-be-a-rock @extrabitterbrain @gaypeaches @phillyinthebathroom @leahstypewriter @madame-ree @pirateofblood

[abbacchiosbelt]

Portraits of Home

A commission for @ciaossu-daphs about her OC, Elisa Joestar, returning home to her brother Jonathan Joestar and her new stepbrother, Dio Brando.

Rating - SFW, T

Elisa Joestar plucks at her dress nervously as she stares out the window of the train taking her home, green hills and blue skies as far as the eyes can see. It wasn’t that she was upset about finally returning home after Catholic school – no, it was because there’d been an unexpected addition to her family. Jonathan, her beloved older brother, had written her a letter about Dio Brando’s arrival into the Joestar family.

She knew her brother well, and though he used nothing but positive words to describe their new stepbrother, she read between the lines and saw that Dio was going to be more trouble than he was worth. But a proper lady aught not think such things about a gentleman, so she had steeled herself to meet him without judgement.

Still, she couldn’t help but to fiddle with her dress (a habit she’d been hit on the knuckles for one too many times) and wonder how much things had changed since she’d last been home. Elisa had missed her father and brother terribly, but the change of scenery and lack of silly boys had allowed her to focus on her studies like she always dreamed of. She was more than excited to share her new knowledge with Jonathan, who’d always encouraged her inquisitive side.

And oh, how she hoped she’d get to see Erina! She’d known her brother was sweet on Erina since the second he met her – and Elisa had always hoped that perhaps she’d gain the lovely girl as a sister someday. By the time Elisa was done reminiscing about all she hoped to do, the train had pulled into the station.

With a curtsy and a thanks, Elisa was off the train with her luggage clutched in her hands, searching the crowds for Jonathan’s messy blue hair. It didn’t take long to spot him in the crowd – oh my, had he grown even taller? Jonathan waved enthusiastically and Elisa ran to him without second thought, jumping into his arms and laughing like she was a little girl again.

“Jojo!” Elisa squeals, hugging him around the neck and holding on tight until he set her down.

“Elisa, I’m so happy to see you again.” Jonathan hugs her again – oh my, he really was much taller – and ruffles her hair, mussing the curls she had set just that morning. “You look so tall!”

 “Not as tall as you, Jojo.” Elisa has to crane her neck to look up at Jonathan. She had missed his eighteenth birthday and him her sixteenth, but they had promised to make up for it when she returned home. Elisa’s thoughts were buzzing with excitement.

“Oh, I have so much to tell you! You won’t believe what I got to study, oh…” Elisa trails off and almost starts babbling until Jonathan laughs and takes her luggage, breaking her out of her ramble.

“We’ll have plenty of time for that, dear sister. Let’s get you home so you can rest first, hm?” Jonathan didn’t ever use a harsh tone with Elisa, but his gentle suggestion was enough to have her nodding and following next to him with a smile. Before they climb in the car, Jonathan stops to give her a look she can’t quite place on his normally happy face.

“Elisa, about Dio…” Jonathan starts, shifting on his feet. But before Jonathan can finish, Elisa shakes her head.

“You remember what mother always said about first impressions? That we should meet someone for ourselves first?” Jonathan sighs at her words and pushes his free hand thorough his messy locks.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Father and Dio will be joining us for dinner tonight, they’re out attending to Dio’s schooling arrangements at the moment.” Jonathan offers an unusual half-smile before he steps forward and opens the door, offering a hand to help Elisa climb in before the driver takes her luggage, leaving Jonathan to climb in the back with her.

The ride home is silent minus the soft sound of Elisa’s steady breaths. Five minutes into the ride she had fallen asleep, head on Jonathan’s warm and broad arm.

Despite Dio’s presence, Jonathan was delighted to have his sister back at home. The anxiety that had been plaguing him dissipated as soon as he saw her again – she was sharp, she always had been. Dio wouldn’t be able to hurt her, not like he had slowly been hurting everyone in Jonathan’s life.

Still, as Jonathan looked at his sleeping sister’s form – almost feeling like they were children again, sleeping in the orchard – he vowed to protect her at any cost.

-

Elisa awoke slowly, trailing her hands over the soft material below her – wait, she hadn’t remembered coming in… She sat up and peered at the clock to find that two hours had passed since the car ride. Jonathan must have carried her to her room. With a yawn, she stands up and stretches, muscles stiff from the car ride and position she fell asleep in.

On her dresser lay a note in Jonathan’s familiar messy handwriting. Elisa picks it up to read, smiling at the tiny doodle Jonathan had drawn in lieu of a signature.

‘Father said that we won’t have dinner until you awaken, so come down whenever you’re ready. Dio is here as well, so please prepare to meet him. Erina would like to see you tomorrow – I’d love to take my ladies out for lunch. Rest well.’

Elisa couldn’t help but grin at his mention of Erina – she was so excited to catch up and perhaps gossip just a smidgen. The girls at her school had been so wound-tight… well, Elisa was in the mood for some innocent mischief. That could wait for later, though.

She felt her stomach rumble impatiently and found herself agreeing with its insistence on eating. It’d been hours since she’d had a warm meal. Setting the note down, Elisa opens her closet to pick out one of her nicer dresses. Minutes later, new outfit along with her hair and face touched up, she leaves her room to head to the parlor room.

Even though she’d only been gone for a few short years, being back in the mansion made Elisa feel warm in a way she couldn’t quite describe. Everything felt so familiar and comforting – the sound of the floor beneath her shoes, the smell of the fireplace and the light floral scent the maids always used, the way that the sun shone in through the delicate glass windows… It sent a pleasant shiver up her spine.

Descending the staircase, Elisa peers into the living room and sees her father sitting in his favorite chair, pipe in one hand as he looks through a novel with the other. In her excitement to rush down and greet her father, the young man with blonde hair on the opposing chair doesn’t even register in her mind.

“Father!” She cries, eagerly leaning around his chair to place a kiss on his salt and pepper hair. He stands after safely putting aside his pipe and pulls Elisa into a hug, familiar cologne reminding her of his good night hugs.

“My dear Elisa, I’m so sorry we missed your return. You look well, but I’m happy to have you back.” George pulls back from his daughter to rest his hands on her shoulders and smiles. She looked so much like Mary, though she had the same determined look as Jonathan. “You nap was refreshing, I take it?”

“Oh, that’s okay Father, I understand. It did, I have so much to tell you and Jonathan! Well, you just won’t believe some of the things I studied…” Catching herself trailing off again, Elisa brings a hand to her mouth and giggles. George’s face breaks into a smile, his eyes crinkling in the corners like they had since she was a little girl.

Someone clears their throat lowly, making Elisa spin around.

Oh my.

Standing before her was one of the most handsome young men she’d ever seen – though she hadn’t seen many lately because of her schooling, whoever this was still stood out. His blonde hair was unruly but looked soft as silk, contrasting against his milky pale skin and blood red eyes. She could have sworn there was the slightest sharp edge to his smile, but perhaps it was just the light playing a trick on her eyes. And oh, he had a body that was clearly well sculpted even under his thick clothes.

Elisa felt her face turn pink – she shouldn’t be thinking things like this about her father’s guest! With a nervous smile, Elisa steps forward and curtsies, nodding in the stranger’s direction.

“Elisa Joestar. It’s so lovely to meet you.” The man tilts his head and smiles curiously before extending his hand. Cautiously, Elisa reaches out and places hers in his much larger one.

“Dio Brando.” The stranger practically purrs – and Elisa feels herself stiffen. This was her new stepbrother? He brings her hand up to his lips and brushes a chaste kiss upon it before gingerly lowering it, placing his hands back behind his body.

“Well then, I suppose there’s no need for me to introduce you two over dinner. How about you two go find Jonathan and spend some time together before we eat. And Elisa, dear, don’t worry, Dio knows the mansion well already.” George was already back in his chair, book in one hand and pipe in the other.

Elisa was more than confused – her father was acting so… distant. Perhaps he was stressed. Yes, that must be it, Elisa thought. Therefore, she’d do her best to push down her anxious thoughts and behave well instead.

“Dio,” she says, doing her best to give her stepbrother a smile, though she blushes when she meets his eyes. Gazing at the ground, Elisa bites her lip before speaking again. “Let’s find Jojo. I’m sure he’s outside.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’re correct.” Dio says, but before they can set off, he extends his arm for Elisa to hook hers through. “Sister?”

Hearing Dio call her ‘sister’ didn’t settle right in her gut, but oh, maybe it’s just because he was so handsome. She’d very soon see him as she saw Jonathan – a handsome and brave brother. This would be a good start, though her heart was pounding and there were butterflies making themselves known in her stomach.

Elisa links her arm through his and watches him smile lowly before swiftly escorting her outside. It doesn’t take long to find Jonathan. He’s situated atop the hill that overlooks the town, laid on his back with some sort of archelogy book in hand.

“Jojo!” Elisa calls. Jonathan looks up and smiles, but she doesn’t miss the brief fall of his face when he sees Dio next to her. He stands quickly and meets them halfway. Dio smirks at Jonathan out of Elisa’s sight before relaxing his face again.

“Jojo, I’m glad to have finally met the fairer half of your family.” Dio says, chuckling airily. Elisa giggles nervously and feels her face turn red once again. Although there was something off – to Elisa, Dio’s laugh sounded a bit too much like the businessmen that tried to talk to her father during their Christmas parties.

“Yes, Elisa is the shining star here.” Elisa giggles sincerely at Jonathan’s words and crinkles her nose when he playfully ruffles her hair again. Dio watches with a sharp eye – Jonathan knows the man is already calculating, trying to figure out Elisa’s weakness. A foolish endeavor, thought Jonathan.

Dio starts when Elisa unlinks herself from his arm and plops down into the grass flat on her back, closing her eyes and breathing in the fresh air. Without hesitation, Jonathan flops down next to her. They’d often spend time gazing at the clouds like this as children – it was one of their favorite pastimes.

“It feels good to be home. The nuns would have been horrified had I laid in the grass like this.” Elisa says, giggling. For a moment she feels as if it’s just her and Jonathan again, escaping the world after the death of their mother. When they were together, it felt like they could accomplish anything.

“Well, I’d hardly blame them. A woman as beautiful as you doesn’t belong in the dirt.” Elisa feels her face burn red – this time from embarrassment. She’d forgotten how easy it was to let her manners lapse around Jonathan. She begins to get up before Dio speaks again.

“Oh, don’t get up on my behalf. I was just teasing, you know.” Dio takes a step forward and leans down to pull her chin close. His hands are cold against her burning skin – no man had ever held her this close. Dio smiles. “You don’t have to take me so seriously.”

Elisa stammers before Jonathan pries Dio’s arm away, his jaw clenched shut.

“Dio, Elisa doesn’t like to be teased like that.” Jonathan states. His voice has a tone that Elisa has never heard from her dear brother – contempt and anger. Dio chuckles and plucks his arm out of Jonathan’s grasp before stepping back.

“Come off it, Jojo. I’ve only just met my new sister. I’m her brother too. I’ll keep an eye on her.” Dio doesn’t even bother waiting for Jonathan to reply before turning back towards Elisa. “I didn’t hurt you, did I? Hm?”

“N-no.” Elisa says, gazing at the grass below. She’d just die if her face got any redder – she was already fighting the conflicting feelings that arose from Dio’s touch on her skin. Dio lets out a pleased hum and goes to lean against a nearby tree, his eyes trained on the view over the hill.

Jonathan puts a comforting hand on Elisa’s shoulder and gives her a gentle smile when she looks up.

“He’s a bit ornery,” Jonathan whispers. “Tell me if he makes you uncomfortable, please.”

Elisa nods. Jonathan always knew best, and even though he never tried to make her decisions for her, she found that following his advice usually turned out well.

“And please try not to end up alone with him.” Jonathan pauses, and leans in even closer. “There’s things you don’t know about him, terrible things he’s done that I’ve seen.”

Elisa holds her neutral expression, but her mind is racing. She trusted Jonathan implicitly, she did, but why would father bring someone so dangerous to their home? Swallowing, she nods, though the pit in her stomach wonders if Jonathan is just… jealous? It was too much to think about at the moment.

“Jojo, I think I might lay down again. I’m still feeling a bit faint from the train.” Elisa says – and it’s not a complete lie, she was starting to feel nervous and hot, but it was because of the two men next to her.

Jonathan and Dio escort Elisa up to her room and leave her be, the two of them informing George that Elisa is too sick to attend dinner tonight. She feels guilty when her father comes to check on her, pulling up a chair to read to her like he always did after her mother died.

Elisa falls asleep to the sound of his soothing voice, Dio forgotten for the time being.

-

With each passing day, Elisa starts to fall back into her normal routine. It’s not without some change, though. She finds that Dio is just as willing to listen and discuss her studies with her as Jonathan is. And oh, she’d never want to hurt Jonathan by telling him, but Dio offers a way of looking at things that would never even occur to Jonathan. Jonathan was incredibly smart, yes, but Dio was too – they saw the world in such different ways.

Elisa worries, though, when Dio holds onto her arm a touch too long or remarks how lovely she looks in the dresses she dons for dinner. His touch doesn’t have the same familial touch that Jonathan’s does – when Jonathan hugs her or offers a hand to help her, his hands are warm just like they always have been. Dio’s touches, though, are possessive and cold. She tries to give him the benefit of the doubt – he’s never had siblings. Still, if Jonathan isn’t around, Dio’s touch on her waist lingers and the slide of his fingers against her neck feel anything but what a gentleman should be doing to anyone he wasn’t courting.

It comes to a head one morning when the three of them are gathered in the study after breakfast. Jonathan is working on a paper for his archeology class, whilst Dio is perched next to Elisa while she shows him a passage from one of her schoolbooks. He’d been getting steadily closer, until his leg was brushed up against hers and his face was close enough that it was almost pressed upon hers.

Elisa shifts nervously. She didn’t like this – the feelings she had for Dio had long since dissipated into the same brotherly affection she felt for Jonathan – or at least, they should have. Dio’s mixed signals had her mind frazzled. What would father say, if he knew? Oh, he’d be so disappointed, and yet she couldn’t help but wish Dio was only a guest and not her stepbrother.

Still… Jonathan had warned her. Elisa had struggled with it, wondering that if Dio cared about her, would he be doing this? Was what Jonathan said about his dangerous side true? He’d been by Dio’s side for longer than she had.

With a sigh, Elisa tries to scoot away from Dio, and loudly yelps when he wraps an arm around her waist.

“D-dio, what are you doing?” Elisa murmurs, frozen in place. His lips are practically brushing her cheek, and she can feel his breath on her blazing skin. He breathes out a laugh.

“Just staying close to you, Eli. It’s cold, don’t you think?” Dio squeezes her waist and Elisa lets out a nervous giggle. Before Elisa can respond, she hears the sound of a chair falling over and Jonathan’s loud voice.

“Dio, get your hands off her this instant!” Elisa had never heard Jonathan sound so angry, and Dio hisses, actually hisses, in protest of her brother’s words. Jonathan stomps over and rips Dio away, the blonde grimacing and standing from the couch.

“You’re unbearable, Jojo.” Dio says, brushing off his shirt and shooting a look at Jonathan. “What exactly are you protecting our sister from?”

Jonathan looks to Elisa and back to Dio. Elisa notices Jonathan take a breath, and then another, in the same pattern Erina had taught them to calm down one day after someone had been bullying Elisa.

Elisa puts a hand on Jonathan’s arm and gives it a gentle pat. “I’m okay. I promise, Jonathan.”

Jonathan seems to be lost – he takes a step forward towards Dio and then freezes. Stiffening, he stands straight up and nods.

“Okay. I believe you.” Elisa doesn’t see the low look Jonathan shoots Dio, nor the one Dio sends back. The rest of the morning proceeds without incident, though the tension in the air could be cut by a knife.

-

That same evening, Elisa hears a soft knock on her door that can only be Jonathan. She slides on her slippers and heads to her door, opening it to find her brother as she suspected.

“I’m sorry to disturb you so late, but could we talk?” Jonathan asks. He was so broad and grown now, but to Elisa, he only looked small hunched nervously in his pajamas. She notices the stuffed dog clutched in his hands; one their mother had gifted him so long ago. Oh, poor Jonathan. She nods and beckons him in, quietly shutting the door behind him.

“You never need to ask Jojo. Now sit, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Elisa says, patting the corner of her bed. When they were younger the two of them often lay side by side, taking turns reading until they both fell asleep.

Sitting next to Jonathan reminded Elisa of just how much he always managed to warm up a room. His enthusiasm was infectious, but now, he seemed troubled.

“What’s wrong?” Jonathan flops back on the pillows and holds the dog plushie to his chest. Elisa had teased him for it before – Jonathan was always a bit dramatic when he was upset, often sneaking chocolate bars and eating them when he’d had a bad day.

“I know I sound like a mad man at this point, but it’s Dio. I’ve tried to trust him, Elisa. I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt when he didn’t deserve it. He’s been acting more strange than usual. I don’t like how he’s treating you. It’s not right. I know you can take care of yourself.” Jonathan pauses and turns his head towards her. “I told myself I’d protect you, though. I’m worried I’ve done a terrible job.”

“Jojo,” Elisa murmurs, drawing her knees to her chest. “You’ve never once failed me. You haven’t now, either.”

Jonathan sighs and rolls towards her. He was so tall that his feet hung off the end of her bed, and though she wanted to giggle at the sight, Elisa held it in.

“You’re sure?”

“Positive. I love you, Jonathan. You’ve always been a great big brother.”

“I love you too, Elisa. And you’ve always been a great little sister.” Jonathan smiles and ruffles her hair, the gesture making Elisa huff in fake annoyance. The two of them enjoy the comfortable silence for a moment, until Elisa looks back over at Jonathan.

This time when Elisa glances towards the end of the bed she can’t stifle the giggles that start to fall out of her mouth. Jonathan widens his eyes.

“What’s so funny?” He says, sounding a little hurt.

“Jojo,” she says between laughs. “You make this bed look like it belongs in a dollhouse.”

Elisa keeps giggling and eventually Jonathan joins in, laughing so hard that the bed rumbles a little. The two of them start to laugh so hard that tears stream down their faces and their hands are clutching at their stomachs, not caring that the whole household could probably hear them. Eventually they fade, leaving the two staring at each other and trying not to burst out in laughter again.

“I haven’t laughed like that since you left.” Jonathan says, smiling gently at Elisa. “You’ve always been so funny.”

Elisa snorts. “Jojo, I’m not really that funny. You’re just too soft on me.”

“Maybe, but I still think it’s true.” He says, rolling back to stare at the ceiling. He gasps and makes Elisa jump. “I’ve just thought of something that slipped my mind!”

“And that is?” Elisa raised an eyebrow at her brother – he’d never been the forgetful type.

“It’s going to be a bit in the future, but I’d like you to come with me to shop for an engagement ring.” Jonathan gives Elisa a sneaky smile, watching as her face lights up.

“Oh, Jojo, really? Erina told me she thought you might propose soon! I’m so excited for you two, how wonderful! I can’t believe I’ll finally have a sister!”

“Oh, not excited your brother is proposing? Just about that?” Jonathan fakes offense and the two fall into laughter again, earning a harsh knock on their door from one of the staff members.

“Sorry!” Jonathan calls, stifling his laughter with his large hand while he looks as Elisa trying to do the same. Eventually they go quiet again, laying in comfortable silence.

“Would you like to read to each other how we used to?” Elisa prompts. Jonathan smiles and nods eagerly. She gets off the bed to walk over to her beloved bookshelf, carefully browsing her books until she finds one both of them can enjoy. It’s for a bit of a younger audience, but they’d loved it for so long and read it so many times that Elisa couldn’t bare to remove it from her collection.

Sitting back down, Elisa nestles into her pillow before she cracks the book open, clearing her throat before she begins reading the familiar passage.

“High above the city, on a tall column, stood the statue of the Happy Prince…”

As the two took turns reading, their eyes grew heavy. It wasn’t long before Jonathan was fast asleep with his beloved dog plush clutched tight in his hands. Elisa fell asleep shortly after, Jonathan’s presence offering a comfort she hadn’t felt in so long.

When they awoke, both of them felt that the anxiety they had been carrying around was gone.

-

That night, though, Elisa could only scream as she saw her father fall to the floor and Dio laugh coldly as he snatched the stone mask from where it was held on the parlor wall. Jonathan held her back as best he could, anguish painting his face.

When he told her to run to Erina she hesitated only a moment, short enough for Dio to turn his sights on her with a wicked grin. Jonathan begged her to run, to get out – and Dio commanded her to stay with a sultry voice, promising a place by his side.

Jonathan was begging her to run, telling her that he’d be okay and that he loved her.

“I’ll see you soon, I promise. I won’t leave you behind. Please go, Elisa!”

Elisa didn’t hesitate again – turning on her heel, she ran as fast as she could towards Erina’s home where Jonathan had pleaded with her to flee.

After all, Jonathan was always right.

Elisa could only hope he’d be right this time, too.

[phan-of-the-pen]

I Dare You To Stay: Chapter 7

alkfjfoijalkjdhfk I’m sorry this took so long for me to write but I was very busy and this got very long and I’m still not happy with it but here!!! read!!!

Tags for chapter: discussions and themes of aphobia, internalized aphobia, fluff, angst

Words for chapter: ~5.3k

Fic Summary: Dan Howell is a barista working a shitty job, frequenting his shitty apartment, and living a shitty existence, hiding his asexuality and going for a PHD in self-depreciation and depression. Phil Lester is a part-time intern, part-time employee at a local weather station, trying to get experience in his field and make a name for himself, while juggling a second job at the nearby Tesco’s to give him some financial breathing room. Their paths were never supposed to meet, but what happens when they do anyways, one rainy day in Manchester?

(ao3!)

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"Stop being so smiley, you arse. It’s 6:30AM and you’re at work. Smiling should be illegal."

Dan snorted, taking a break from pouring coffee beans to shove Jaime with his shoulder, but he didn't even try to help the smile on his face.

Jaime only scowled deeper in response, sticking out her pierced tongue.

“You should take that out,” Dan said. “Health and Safety. Plus, you don’t want to scare the grandpas with your metal appendages”.

Jaime snorted. "I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do. Leave my life. Goodbye. Ciao."

"Fine, then I guess you'll have to dye your hair by yourself. And gee, who are you going to talk to during your shifts? Steve? God, I think he’d have to take up my shifts, which puts the two of you together almost all the time," Dan said, walking away, trying to keep the grin out of his voice. He wasn't very successful, however, but then again, he hadn't actually tried very hard, either.

Jaime threw a cloth at him. It landed on his face, then fell to the ground.

“Health and Safety!” Dan screeched. “Is that floor mopped?”

She just rolled her eyes. "I've managed the first eighteen or so years of my life before you decided to jump in just fine without you, so go ahead, take your lanky ass outside along with your 'I'm getting off of work early' bullshit."

"Ahhh, the truth reveals itself," Dan tsked, shaking his head. “Jealousy is a sin, you know.” He was playing with her, and she knew it, but that didn't stop Dan from pulling out all of the stops, really hamming up his performance. He grabbed the keys off of the counter and walked to the glass entrance door, unlocking it and flipping over the sign to read: open.

Jaime was sitting on the counter, her arms crossed and that fake scowl of anger still on her face. Dan just pushed at her back, forcing her off.

"Come on, Grumps, we've got a job to do."

"We? What do you mean with that 'we'? You're the one leaving here early, Danny boy, so you get to do all the work this morning; it's only fair."

This time Dan was the one that scowled and Jaime just smirked, tapping his nose.

"Come on stupid, turn that frown upside down; Mary's about to walk in."

Dan sighed, drawing it out as much as possible, but immediately snapping out of it and throwing a smile on his face when he heard the bell chime on the store's door.

Mary was a sweet old lady that was at least in her 80's, and she always came into their coffee shop within the first few moments that they were open, everyday, without fail. She had the most acute sense of style, typically rocking your usual old lady jumper and pants, but every single day she had a different broach on. And before her, Dan hadn't even known that people wore broaches anymore. But nope, it appeared that Mary had no cares for which way fashion swayed, not to mention that she must have her own infinite supply of them to have a different one every day. Did she have some kind of broach dealer? Was that a thing?

Dan didn't really know the answer to that question, but she was incredibly kind and had pretty much adopted him and Jaime as her grandchildren, so Dan just made sure to compliment her on her choice of style.

She shuffled up to the counter, her usual smile already radiating even though it was way too fucking early for anyone to be doing anything instead of sleeping in Dan's opinion.

(Today her broach was a yellow-ish metal, an intricate flower melded into it. It looked like lavender.)

"Hello, love, how are you today?"

"Oh, hello, Mary. And I'm tired, but I'm doing fine, thank you." Dan said. He had already started making her coffee. She ordered the same thing every time.

"Tired? Daniel, what did I say about staying up late on the internet? You're a growing boy! You need your sleep!" she cried. Dan smiled, not missing how she called him 'Daniel', but it wasn't like Dan minded it, coming from her. She was like the grandmother Dan never had. Maybe that was why he liked her using his full name even if his nametag said 'Dan'. It was more personal.

"Sorry, Mary, it's a bad habit, I know. I'll break it one of these days, I promise."

"Hmm, will you, Daniel? I feel like you say that to me every morning." Mary wagged a finger at Dan as if to admonish him, but there was a twinkle in her eye. Dan shrugged, but his smile only got wider. He handed Mary her coffee (with extra milk) and she looked over next to Dan, where Jaime was leaning on the counter a little bit in the back.

"Jaime dear, tell me, you must do everything around here with how tired this boy is all the time, don't you?"

Dan and Jaime both laughed, and Jaime shook her head, taking a few steps forward, knocking her shoulder into Dan.

"Sometimes it certainly feels like that."

Mary paid for her coffee (they charged her half price and took turns covering the rest—but they'd never tell her) and she stayed for a few moments to talk with them. After telling Dan that he "better go to sleep earlier tonight" or he would be hearing from her, and telling the both of them to have a lovely day, she shuffled back out, her broach still sparkling and drawing on-looker's eyes.

After Mary's visit, things always took somewhere between a fifteen minutes and a half hour before business really started to go anywhere, but today was different, and almost immediately after Mary left the store people started to come in, which both Dan and Jaime inwardly frowned at. Neither of them wanted to be here at the moment—not that they ever wanted to be here—and the prospect of getting some time to slack off and just fool around together in an empty store had been alluring.

But duty calls, apparently.

The first hour passed in a bit of a blur of overweight white CEO's trying to get their caffeine fix, early-morning joggers trying to recuperate their systems, and random small groups or duos walking in, meeting for coffee and chatting at the tables.

After that, things slowed down a little, and Dan was able to slide his phone out of his pocket. He unlocked the screen, checking the time. Or that’s what he said to himself: there was a clock right in front of his face. He was just making excuses, at this point. Checking his phone every second like he had a crush—pathetic.

His notifications  were empty, minus a reminder he had set a while ago so he didn't forget to pay his rent. A reminder that he needed reminding about, apparently. Damnit. Hopefully his landlord would let him off.

Dan frowned a little at the lack of a Phil-shaped notification, but slipped his phone away. He couldn't help but glance at the door, even if there was no one walking in at the moment.

Phil had said he'd come today, right?

Dan at least hoped that he'd pop in for the doughnut he forgot before Dan's uncharacteristically short shift was over. Partly, because he didn't trust Jaime being alone with Phil at all. Partly because, well…

The little bell above the entrance to the shop dinged, and with it, Dan's head snapped up. Damn what kind of timing was—oh.

A customer had walked in, yes, but it wasn't who Dan wanted to see right now. It was some guy he had never seen before and his young daughter, not a tall weatherman who happened to like caramel macchiatos.

Dan helped them with their drinks, and even gave the girl a handful of extra marshmallows in her hot chocolate because Dan was weak for little kids with toothy grins, apparently.

The flow of customers slowed down further, and soon the crowds were gone, leaving the usual mid-morning lull, only a select few of the tables occupied. The windows were steamy after this morning's productivity, and the glass case up front next to the register was no exception.

Dan dragged his finger down on his side of the glass, doodling without direction. Well, doodling was probably a generous term for what he was doing. It was more like scribbling, his finger tracing random lines and patterns in the condensation. He heard the bell chime again, and glanced behind him, to see where his best friend had found herself to be. Maybe she could take this order, and Dan could keep counting down the minutes until he was let out.

She wasn't behind the counter with him, but the one coffee machine was open, and looked like it was mid-clean. She was probably in the back grabbing more coffee, then.

Dan sighed, but managed to tear himself away from his empty entertainment only to—fuck.

Phil had just been the one to walk in—already walking up to the counter, actually—and when their eyes locked Phil smiled widely.

"Dan! I've come for my pastry, I just hope you haven't eaten them all, if I'm being honest.”

“It’s in his pocket. Or maybe he’s just glad to see you,” Jaime called loudly from the back, before Dan could even process what Phil had said. He felt his cheeks turn red. Fuck.

"Oh my god Phil I'm-"

But Phil was laughing, and there was a dusting of pink on his cheeks too. He waved off Dan's protests with a wide smile.

"Dan, Dan it's okay, I get it." Phil looked over Dan's shoulder. "Thanks for the clarification, Jaime!" he called, seemingly to not think twice about what Jaime had said. Dan, however, wasn't taking it in stride as well as Phil, evident by how enflamed his cheeks still were.

"So, um, you uh, want a coffee, right? ”

“No, I want your hand in marriage,” Phil deadpanned. Dan heard Jaime laughing. The corner of Phil's mouth started to upturn, and Dan's heart was stuttering in his chest. What a day this was turning out to be.

But two could play at this game.

“I might need to get the ring resized,” Dan said, "but I guess there's only one way to find out."

Phil blinked at him. “Wait, you-”

“Your hand, please.”

Phil did as he was told. Dan was certain he heard Jaime's sharp inhale of surprise all the way from the back. Dan held Phil's ring finger out. “Hmmm… might be a little small.”

“What are you-”

Dan extracted a bagel from the display, placing it onto Phil’s finger. “Oh! It fits beautifully!”

Phil blinked, but then he unfroze, his shoulders relaxing and little crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes from his giggle.

“Has anyone told you that you’re really weird?”

Dan smiled. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

"Well, I've certainly never been proposed to with a bagel before, maybe it is a bad thing."

Dan let Phil's hand drop and rolled his eyes, but a weird feeling in his chest begged his attention. It was unfamiliar. Dan ignored it.

"You can keep the bagel, if you want—I can't exactly put it back into the display case. And in all honesty, did you want a coffee? Or did you just want to pop in for your doughnut that you abandoned like a savage yesterday?" Dan asked, his hand hovering by the stacks of cups, waiting to see if he would be making another caramel macchiato for Phil today.

"Hey, I was trying to be a productive member of society and work, Daniel."

"Forgive me, then, Philip," Dan said. There was a little nervous voice in his head at Phil's uttering of his full name. No, not quite nervousness, it was something, that was for sure. But exactly what was a mystery to Dan.

So like any other obstacle Dan faced that he didn't know how to handle, he ignored it.  

“Wow, I can feel the sexual tension from here,” Jaime drawled, walking up next to Dan.

There it was. There it fucking was.

Dan snapped.

“Actually, Jaime can serve you,” Dan said, or rather, spat. He really didn’t mean to, but Jaime’s comment just—

“Dan?” Phil was saying, something soft and confused in his voice, “Did I do something?”

Dan pushed past Jaime and lifted up the divider that closed the counter off from the public, ignoring it all and shoving the Employee's only door open roughly, stepping into the break room. He needed a fucking break, that was for sure.

“Dan?” He heard behind him, just before the door swung shut.

Jaime this time. Dan ignored them both.

Sex. Why did it always have to end with sex?

Dan sunk into a chair, a shaky breath passing his lips, his head falling into his hands, the anger melting straight out of him, just leaving the sadness, the pain, the hurt.

Phil was probably confused as hell right now, and fuck it, Jaime would be too, but goddamnit Dan couldn't do this to himself.

Pull it together, pull it together, pull it-

A lump had formed rapidly in Dan's throat, and a black feeling had made itself home in his ribcage. He knew it well. Knew it better than himself, it seemed like, sometimes.

Loneliness, isolation, all based on the lack of feeling something that everyone else in the whole fucking world felt. Fuck, he couldn't do this, not here, not now. He had less than an hour before his shift was over and he could leave. He could mourn his lack of humanity then.

But god, was that just wishful thinking, because Dan's head seemed to become heavier than the world itself—there was no way that his neck could be able to lift his skull from where it was being cradled by his hands.

His eyes were wet, and god, just ignore it, ignore it, ignore it, he was fine. Peachy. It was a stupid comment made by his best friend that didn't mean anything. There were probably dozens of them made across the world every moment, so why the fuck did he have to care so much?

Salty tears were starting to slide down the curves of his wrist from where his palms were digging into his eyes.

Fuck, was it even worth lying to himself about anymore? Of the pretending? Of course he knew why he cared so much. Of fucking course he did. He didn't feel sexual attraction. He would never be able to be attracted to Phil that way (even if he was at all because he wasn't, Phil was a friend). There never would be "sexual tension" for Jaime to feel.

Never.

Because Dan was Dan, and a normal, happy ending just didn't seem to be in his fate.

Because Dan was ace.

Because he would never be attracted to people like that.

Because no one would ever want someone as broken as him who couldn't even feel correctly.

A muffed sob tore itself from Dan's throat, and it hurt. His body physically ached with the longing to be someone he was not and feel something he couldn't.

Fucking hell Dan, you fucking idiot.

Dan was gasping against his shaking fingers, tears clouding his vision. He gritted his teeth and groaned, digging his fingernails into his palms.

Jaime was going to come for him, most likely as soon as she could properly step away from the counter. If she saw him here, curled up on himself, crying over a stupid comment she made then she wouldn't take Dan telling her that "everything was fine" for an answer. He would be forced to tell her, and damnit Dan didn't want to ruin another relationship, especially one as important and meaningful to him as the one he had with Jaime. A memory surfaced of someone who had promised to love him.

"I can't believe this whole time you were a fucking freak and you didn't tell me. Asexual? God, Dan, that's just a fucking seven-letter cry for help."

Dan abruptly stood up and clenched his hands at his sides. There were tears still escaping his eyes and his breaths were still slightly hiccuped, but he just raised his chin and bit his lip. His shoulders were shaking but it didn't matter because he was fine.

He was doubtful that anything but his sheer force of will calmed his racing heart and his trembling body, but there was no part of Dan that cared nor was up for thinking about it. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the camera. His eyes weren't too red. Dan used the corner of his shirt to wipe away the tear tracks and ran his fingers through his hair to fix his straightened fringe. He looked at the time before hiding away his phone. He'd been in here for roughly ten minutes. It didn't feel that long, that was for sure.

Dan took another deep breath and grabbed the door handle, not opening it yet. He closed his eyes. You're fine, you're fine, you're fine.

He opened the door, wiping away all traces of his breakdown off of his face and replacing it with a mask that he wore well after years of use.

Jaime's head flicked immediately to Dan as he emerged, but she was in the middle of making a coffee, a queue of at least a half dozen people in front of her. She'd be busy for a little. Good.

Dan passed her, not saying anything, just reaching over the counter to grab one of the rags they used to clean up the self-serving bar and walking away. Dan took his time cleaning up the spilled sugar and milk, fixing up the various advertisements for their specialty drinks they sold, and refilling the straws and napkin dispenser even though they didn't really need it. The entire time he worked, his thoughts rolled and crashed like thunder in his head, pulling his train of thought this way and that and in every direction that it didn't need to go. By the time that Dan was finishing up, the whole thing was spotless and he only had about ten minutes before his shift was over.

"Dan?"

Dan jumped, not even realizing that someone was standing next to him, and he turned. Phil was a few steps away, a coffee cup in his hand, a remorseful look on his face. His shoulders were dropped and his eyes were sad, and overall it seemed as if all of the enthusiasm that Dan associated with Phil had been sucked out of him.

There was a pang in Dan's chest upon seeing Phil's happiness so curbed, especially when it was all Dan's fault, fuck.

"I just want to say I'm sorry for earlier, that's all. I-I shouldn't have joked like that, and I'm really sorry if I offended you or something, I swear I didn't mean to, Dan, but I'm sorry." Phil said, his voice soft, those blue blue eyes pleading.

For a moment, Dan just stared, but he blinked, coming out of his haze.

"Phil...it's not your fault I promise. It wasn't even you, actually." Dan raised a hand when Phil opened his mouth as if to protest. "Thank you for your apology, but like I said, it wasn't you. It was stupid, anyways. I shouldn't have reacted like I had." Dan was pouring everything he couldn't say into his eyes. It was fruitless to think that Phil would understand him, but even if it was in vain Dan would still do nothing but hope.

"Dan, if something upset you then it matters."

"Phil, I promise you this doesn't." I don’t.

Dan rubbed his face, sighing. He couldn't explain it to Phil. Phil would only despise him. When he pulled his hand away, Dan's eyes settled on Steve walking through the glass entrance in his work uniform. He was a few minutes early, but Dan was fine with that; he had to get out of here.

"Could I ask when your break is?" Phil said, the words pulling all of Dan's attention to him.

"What?"

"Like, um, you get a break, right? I was wondering when it was because I kind of wanted to talk with you like we always do, but there's a, uh, bunch of people in line and stuff and I don't want to bother you when you're working. Not that you have to spend your break with me! No, it was just a question, I-god, I'm making an embarrassment of myself." Phil groaned after stumbling through his attempt at an explanation.

Dan could still feel that black emotion in his chest, and like every single time that it decided to surface itself, he wanted to find his way to his bed and curl up and have a proper cry, but there was a sudden and tremendous internal outcry, his body and mind shouting don't leave me alone.

Phil didn't want to deal with Dan and his problems, however. That was fact for certain.

Yet, Dan still found his mouth opening and words spilling forth against his will. Mutiny. He wanted to scream. Why couldn't his own self let him self destruct in peace?

"I don't have a break today, actually. I'm leaving early."

"Oh?" Phil's eyebrows bent upwards, a shy smile spreading across his face. "Would you, maybe want to do something, then? You don't have to-"

"Phil," Dan said, stopping him, still in an internal turmoil, "that sounds perfect."

Phil smiled, a true and proper grin that lit up his whole face.

"When do you get off?"

"Now, actually. Wait here."

Dan didn't wait for an answer, but rather walked past him and up to the counter, putting the rag he had been using back where it went. Jaime must have heard him because she turned her head from where she was facing away from Dan, making a coffee, her eyes going wide, mouth opening. It hurt him to do so, but he kept going and ignored her for a second time today. He once again stepped through the Employee's only door, grabbing his jacket off of the hook on the wall. Steve was in there, but they only locked eyes for a second before Dan turned away. He slipped it on as he found his way back to where Phil was still standing, minus his coffee cup. He must have finished it.

"You sure about this, Dan?"

"Obviously, Lester. C'mon."

Phil was right in step with Dan, holding the glass door open for the brunet. Dan stepped through, feeling the cool breeze blow against his face and ruffle his hair. Dan felt Jaime's eyes dig into his back and his phone vibrated in his pocket, but Dan didn't pull it out. He knew it would he her.

He and Phil fell into step. They weren't talking at the moment, but the silence wasn't oppressive. It felt right. It felt like they were acknowledging everything.

Dan's head was still flooding, filled to the brim with things that he didn't want to think about, but at least it seemed like the rest of him was agreeing to spending some impromptu time with Phil.

"I think you need some cheering up. Are you okay with me taking you somewhere?" Phil asked, breaking the silence. They were a few blocks away from the coffee shop at his point, and Dan had just been blindly following Phil the whole time.

"Cheering up, huh?" He asked. The normal, quietly sarcastic edge had returned to his voice.

"Yeah. How about it?"

"Where would we be going?"

"A surprise."

Dan flicked his eyes to Phil, who was already looking at him. His eyes were intense, and Dan couldn't keep the gaze. He was too vulnerable to.

"Sure."

He didn't have to be looking at Phil to know that the man was smiling right now, and for some reason that put a little grin on Dan's face.

A surprise. He hadn't had one of those in a while.

They fell into easy conversation, Phil obviously leading it and choosing topics that would require Dan to listen more than actively participate. Dan was grateful for Phil's cheeriness and understanding, and as a bonus, he learned more about who he was walking with.

Phil had spent a large time at uni producing little self-made films before he had chosen to pursue meteorology because of a child-like love for the weather. He like to play video games and dreamed of getting a corgi one day. He was from up north. He hated cheese.

"You hate cheese? How can someone hate cheese?" Dan screeched, interrupting Phil. He couldn't help it. Not liking cheese? Was it possible?

"I don't know! It's just weird! It doesn't taste good and the texture isn't good and it's just ew." Phil said, pulling a face.

"Oh my god."

"Hey!"

"Do you eat pizza? Shit if you're one of those people that eats pizza without cheese then this friendship is cancelled."

"No, I love pizza, don't worry."

"But you hate cheese?"

"I never said I made any sense."

Dan was still giving Phil an incredulous look, and Phil snorted and shook his head. Dan was about to ask him if there was any other food out there that was such a blasphemy to hate that Phil disliked, but Phil's face lit up and he wrapped his fingers around Dan's wrist, dragging him over to the left.

"Here we are!"

In front of Dan and Phil was the Manchester Eye, a popular ferris wheel that Dan had yet to visit even if he had been living in Manchester for years now.

"The Manchester Eye?"

"Yes! Tell me you've been, because the view at the top is absolutely incredible. You can’t have bad thoughts when you're up that high and looking at something so beautiful; it's just impossible."

Impossible, eh? We'll see, Lester.

Phil was still holding onto Dan's wrist, and normally, Dan would have pulled away at the touch by now, but for whatever reason, he didn't. Phil led him into the line, dropping Dan's wrist when they had to buy their tickets. Dan reached for his own wallet, but Phil waved him away, refusing to let Dan pay.

"This is your surprise, so you don't get to pay for it."

They were ushered onto the ride by the attendant, and because there was no one else waiting, they didn't have to run the risk of being put with strangers.

Their conversation had died down, and neither of them tried to revive it, choosing to just stay silent. When they got to the top, however, Dan couldn't help but suck in a breath.

Calling views like this "breathtaking" were cliche and overused in Dan's opinion, but he didn't really know another way to describe it. Manchester was splayed out before his eyes and for the first time, Dan thought of the city as more than the hell hole that he lived in. It was almost something beautiful.

Phil was smiling when Dan turned to him, but Dan didn't really care.

"Oh my god, Phil, you were right. I can't believe I haven't been on this before." "Beautiful, huh?"

"Yeah."

Phil ended up walking Dan home, after that, and when Dan was standing in front of his apartment complex, waving goodbye to Phil, he couldn't help but wish that their day together had lasted longer.

And in reality, it had lasted much longer than expected. They had finally crossed the boundary of just seeing each other when Dan was at work, and even disregarding that, they took the long way around town just to keep talking.

Phil was much more fun to be around than Dan realized. He was more than just talkative like Dan originally thought, but he was sweet and caring and had the strangest mannerisms and personality, but it wasn't annoying, merely endearing. He was like the sun, and Dan had always been one to bask in warmth.

"Bye, Dan!" Phil called, walking away. Dan smiled.

"See you, Phil!"

He climbed the steps to his flat, hands in his pockets, still riding the wave that was being anywhere near Phil Lester and spending time with him.

In his flat, Dan kicked his shoes off and stripped himself of his jacket, pulling his work shirt over his head and leaving himself bare chested before falling back onto his couch. It was mid afternoon, but it already felt like midnight. Dan reached onto the floor where his jacket laid rumpled and fished his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it. He sent a quick text to Jaime, telling her not to worry and that he was fine, just tired, which was why he had reacted the way he had.

Twenty minutes later, he got a text, and Dan paused his game of flappy bird. He was surprised, however, to see that it wasn't a response from Jaime, but a text from Phil.

>> From: Phil Lester (is amazing!!) dan look at this dog!!!!!

A second text came through instantly, a link this time. Dan clicked it, and twitter popped up, showing him a video of a cute labrador chasing bubbles. Dan laughed, scrolling up to retweet it, but one of the replies caught his eye.

AmazingPhil: 10/10 doggo content!!!

AmazingPhil? Dan clicked on the reply, and up came a twitter feed. Specifically, Phil's twitter feed. Dan started to scroll, finding himself laughing. Looks like Phil's twitter was just as enjoyable as he was in person.

Dan pressed the follow button before backspacing and opening his messages once again.

>> To: Phil Lester (is amazing!!) i  would die for that dog wtf

Phil started to type immediately, and if Dan said he didn't smile, he'd be lying.

~~~~~

The next morning, Dan had to peel himself off of the couch after falling asleep there, in the midst of watching a movie. He groaned, rubbing his eyes. His neck was all bent and he could feel the sofa creases on his cheek.

Dan looked to the side, peeking out the window. The sky was overcast, but it didn't look too bad. Would it be a nice day?

Dan flicked on his television, flipping through the channels until he found a weather one. It wasn't Phil's, and for some reason, that made him keep searching.

Eventually, Dan stumbled across it, Phil's smiling face appearing right before Dan's. He was in the middle of telling the weather, pointing to one of the maps behind him.

"-and it looks like there's a small chance of rain today, so keep your umbrellas home today!"

Dan rushed through his shower after looking at the time, not wanting to be late for work. He barreled through his kitchen after running a straightener through his hair, shoving a handful of cereal in his mouth and pocketing his phone before running out his door. He'd have to run; he overslept.

When Dan opened the door to exit his apartment complex, however, it was raining. He groaned. The rain would give him hobbit hair and soak him through completely no doubt if he didn't get an umbrella.

Well, fuck.

By the time Dan ended up running back up to his flat, tracked down his umbrella, and practically fell down the steps, he was most certainly going to be late.

Small chance of rain my ass, Phil.

Dan started fast walking, the rain pelting his umbrella. He was grumbling to himself, but then an idea popped into his head, and he couldn't help the smile that came over his face. He posed for a picture, sure to include the rain all around him, composed a short caption, and sent it out to the internet before putting his phone away and picking up his pace to get to work.

He might be late, but goddamnit it wouldn't be by much.

Dan (@danisnotonfire) 4 seconds ago: does this look like a "small chance of rain" to you @AmazingPhil?