#minor warnings for mentions of puking

[reiderwriter]

Little Angel

Pairing: Spencer Reid × virgin!fem reader

Genre: SMUT, some fluff, a little tiny smidge of angst. MINORS DNI 18+

Summary: As the youngest and most innocent member of the BAU, they all take care of their little angel. When they find out just how innocent you are, though, one member takes his possession to the next level. You're his little angel, and he's determined to have you.

Warnings: loss of virginity, loss of innocence, degradation, pet names, oral sex, thigh riding, fingering, cum marking, love bites, Spencer is territorial and possessive, Dom! Spencer Reid, PinV sex, mentions breeding, but he pulls out.

A/N: We've reached Day 8 of kinktober! It's our second "long" fic, meaning there's a bit more plot to this, and the smut scene is longer too (WC is almost 7k!) I hope you love this one just as much as I did... The kinktober masterlist can be found here, and my regular masterlist is here too! If you want something specific, my requests are open ❤️

Your first three months with the BAU were a blur, and for good reason. Endless cases, back-to-back, interrupted only by the slight hint of a weekend or the ever possible death row interview. You were tired, stressed, and afraid to walk home alone at night, and absolutely satisfied. As far as you were concerned, it was all worth it to get these monsters off the streets, to help save their victims and to find out what made them tick. There was nothing else you'd rather be doing. 

The team had helped you settle in well, too. You'd joined the team after Alex Blake had left - she'd recommended you actually from the college seminars you'd taken with her. You were obviously lacking a bit of experience, so they took on two team members, and you and Kate Callahan had the great opportunity of both being the newbie. But you had a slight disadvantage of age, coming in as the youngest member of the team. You thought that might be why you'd settled in so well, in all honesty. 

Hotch and Rossi were both protective in a fatherly way. Hotch pushed you and Rossi encouraged you and that was everything you needed from them. A strong pat on the back at the end of a case and a "you did good, kid," and whatever hell they'd pushed you through, it was worth it. Morgan's tough love was brotherly, but he did a great job at getting you to relax on and off the case, reminding you to not take the work home. JJ and Kate were great mentors. It wasn't easy being women in the FBI, let alone the unit that specifically looked into some of the most misogynistic killings, rapes and abductions in the world. They both gave you tips about how to handle condescending officers, and JJ had held your hair back after you'd puked your guts up on a particularly harrowing day in the field. With Penelope, friendship was easy, and you loved talking to her about whatever hyperfixation you were on that week, loving that there was someone on your team that had filled their life with genuine joy in the face of so much horror. 

And Spencer. Honestly, you were beginning to think that you'd used Spencer as a human stuffed toy a bit too much. 

You don't know how it happened at first, just that after one of your first few cases, you'd been so elated to find a victim alive, safe but traumatised, that you'd thrown yourself into his arms the minute you got back to the precinct. 

"We did it, I thought she was going to be dead, Spencer but she isn't." Your head was pressed into his chest, you were almost surprised he even heard them, muffled as they were. If you weren't so elated, you'd have noticed the way he'd stiffened at your touch, panicking slightly before awkwardly wrapping his arms around you, too. But you pulled away before you could notice that he wasn't really used to any physical comfort, bouncing off to write up your case report. 

Spencer noticed, though. Noticed how the heat of your body made him feel comforted, the way his heart rate increased to 125 BPM from it's base rate and didn't fall back to normal for another half hour. He noticed that you smelt like jasmine and patchouli, and more importantly, he noticed that he didn't really care if you touched him, and that was new. 

It became a kind of ritual for you, finding him after a case and folding into his arms to celebrate. They were friendly hugs, after all, a sign that you'd been through hell together, and you'd made it through like avenging angels. They only lingered longer when the cases went badly. You turned to crying in his arms after you'd discovered the body of a dead street girl, Veronica, in pieces in the house of an unsub who'd committed suicide by cop moments earlier. 

"I told her she'd be safe if she talked to us, Reid. I told her we'd protect her, that I'd protect her." You were so hurt by that failure that he'd had to drive you home that night, holding your hand the entire way so you didn't feel so alone, left to fester in your guilt. 

The rest of the team had begun teasing you about the hugs, but you'd brushed them off. You hugged everyone else too, and you knew for a fact that Penelope hugged every member of the team, so there was nothing special going on between you and Spencer. No one had deigned to inform you of Spencer's germophobia and aversion to touch. 

"Gonna tell me what that's all about?" Morgan asked Spencer as you bounced away from a hug one day, leaving to remove your FBI vest. 

"What what's all about?" He replied coldly, turning away to remove his own vest, replacing it with his blazer. 

"What, you don't have a statistic for how many germs are passed between people during a hug, Kid, come on, you were practically smelling her hair." The older man's eyebrows raised in a question again, but Spencer continued to blow him off. 

"I hug people all the time, it's not a big deal." He shrugged. 

"It took you four years to return one of Penelope's hugs, and you still only do that on special occasions. That's not all the time." 

"Derek, just drop it. There's nothing going on, she just… She just does it sometimes." 

It was when you'd hugged him in the middle of the office, without a case to use as an excuse, that you noticed an underlying tension in the office. You were all celebrating, of course, Callahan had just announced her pregnancy, and you were all so happy for her. You'd heard the happy news and instantly turned and thrown yourself into Spencer's arms. Even you weren't sure why, not even questioning it until you saw the awkward glances on the other profilers' faces. You brushed it off by rushing to give each of them hugs, and running out in a mad flush, needing air, or water or something to get you out of what was looking more and more like an interrogation room. 

A few cases later, the entire team headed to O'Keefe's to celebrate. 

"To another case successfully solved," Morgan toasted, and you all joined him, lifting your glasses in triumph. 

"To the wonders of non-alcoholic beer," chimed in Kate, leaving you all laughing together. The booth was small, and as usual, you'd found yourself sat right in the arms of Spencer Reid. You hadn't intended it, honestly, having slightly avoided him recently, but you'd followed Penelope into her side of the circular table, and Reid had followed you. You were sat squished between them, your arms resting awkwardly on your lap between drinks. 

"Okay, a night of drinking is slightly boring without some games to spice things up, what do you say, hot chocolate?" Penelope said, addressing Morgan who was on her other side. 

"I'm all ears, baby girl. What were you thinking?" 

"How about twenty questions? We already know a lot about each other, let's see what we don't know?" Kate suggested, thriving off of the knowledge that as the sole sober member present, she'd hold all the cards tomorrow. 

"What, how is asking questions a game?" Reid questioned jokingly from beside you. "That's just an interrogation or a therapy session, there's no winner or loser."  

Already slightly buzzing from your drink, you turned to him and out your fingers in his lips, shushing him. 

"No time for logic in matters of the bottle, Spencer. Let's play." He pulled your fingers off him, but nodded, holding them in his grip still as you turned back to the table. 

"I'll start! JJ, are you and Will thinking of having more baby LaMontagne's?" Penelope jumped at the chance to probe her teammate, and you laughed at her enthusiasm. 

"There have been discussions, but I'll not confirm or deny yet." JJ said, taking a sip of her drink as she slyly avoided a direct answer. 

"I always forget why you were so good with the press, Miss No Answers. Okay, your turn to ask a question." 

"Okay, Morgan. Are you thinking of popping the question to Savannah anytime soon?" 

"Did she send you?" He laughed and took a drink. "If I do, she'll be the first to know." 

The game went back and forth like this for a few rounds before Penelope turned the spotlight back to you. 

"Okay, Y/N. You were a college student recently, I know you've got some wild stories. Where's the craziest place you've ever done it?" You knew Penelope didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. She was just an open person. 

But you shifted in your seat nonetheless, trying to figure out if you could answer or even if you would. Your tongue was a bit looser than you expected though, because before you could even finish thinking you just blurted it out. 

"Nowhere." 

The others blinked at you slightly before Penelope dived in with another question. 

"Is that Nowhere, Oaklahoma, or you're just not having sex in crazy places?" 

"No. I'm not… I'm not having sex. Period. Never have." You felt yourself shrink as the other members of the team awkwardly apologised for probing you so much. Really it wasn't that big of a deal, and it wasn't as if you were saving it for religious or moral reasons. But you'd not been the most popular teenager, and you'd started studying serial killers and sociopaths so early that you really hadn't wanted to get so intimate with someone else like that. 

Unbeknownst to you, Spencer's grip on his own drink had tightened ever so slightly, his heart race had picked up again, and suddenly the hand that was holding yours suddenly let you go, quietly dropping your fingers like they were glowing cinders, and he was dripping in gasoline, waiting to ignite. 

Lust. He felt sick with himself for the images that were suddenly flashing through his mind now that he knew you'd never been held in that way, trying not to fantasise about you underneath him, holding him, begging him, feeling all of him. He took another swig of his drink and politely excused himself to get another as he let himself catch some air, as the sudden realization that he wanted you - and had wanted you for quite some time now - finally hit him.

The next couple of weeks were normal, and you were thankful to have that discussion behind you. No one treated you differently, acted like you were more of a child than before, asked you how your dating life was or set you up on blind dates, which was really refreshing actually. You'd let some friends know previously, and that's all they'd done, surprised that you could live ignorant to wonders of sex without shrivelling up and dying. 

The only thing that was different was Spencer. And that wasn't really difference so much as growing more comfortable with each other. He'd rest his hand on the small of your back now in support sometimes, or have a hand slung over the back of your chair when sitting together. He was constantly at your side, especially if you were around male suspects or officers who'd taken a bit of a ballsy approach. 

You liked it, probably a bit too much. You gravitated towards him in a room filled with people, and found yourself hugging him more often, when you left a room, when you entered one, when he looked like he needed it. Which, recently, was all the time. A month went by with this increased comfort level, and soon you found yourself feeling wrong if his hands weren't on you. 

He stood close to you all the time, and you noticed the stares you were getting from everyone else. A few officers who'd approach you would apologise to him when they noticed him at your back, hand on your hip as he pulled you away. 

After one case, you could even swear that you felt more than him than you were expecting. He'd moved away slightly in between one of your hugs, but you'd pulled his arms back around you and stepped closer, pressing your back against his chest, letting your head rest on his arms. Something hard and long wedged up against your ass, and in a split second he was pulling away before you could ask him about it. He excused himself, and you felt your body burn up. It was Spencer, it was just Spencer and that wasn't because of you, it was some other reason. 

Spencer didn't know what he was doing. He grew more possessive over you by the day, and he'd honestly nearly bitten the head off an officer who asked him for your number. 

"Sorry, she doesn't have a phone." 

"But I saw her with one earlier. Look I get it she's FBI, and you guys are-" 

"Okay, so she's not interested."

"Hey, why don't you let her decide that wise guy?" 

"Oh sure, get angry I'm sure she'd love that. She's not interested, she has me." He couldn't help himself from getting in the officers face at that, and Morgan had to pull him back from the edge. 

"Wow, wow, hey, calm down." The officer stormed out, and he felt triumphant for only a second before Morgan rounded on him. 

"Whatever this thing you've got going on, Spencer, you need to get it out of your system as soon as possible." His voice was low and stern, throwing a glance over his shoulder to where you were sitting, staring confusedly through the glass at Spencer, whose eyes refused to move from your own. 

" I just wanted him to back off, she doesn't like him like that."

"No, you wanted him to back off because you've marked her like some animal marking its territory. She's not your prey, Spencer, she's our team member, now you're gonna have to get your act together and leave her alone, because we've got work to do." 

Sighing and throwing his hands through his hair again, he finally looked away from you and gathered his breath. He wanted to stop this too, this horrible perverted feeling of needing his hands on you, wanting to possess you day and night. To protect you. He just wasn't sure if he was strong enough to do that. 

The next time you all went to O'Keefe's he certainly tried. You expected him to follow you into the booth again - he didn't, sitting opposite you next to JJ. You expected him to talk to you or look at you for more than a second at a time - he didn't, avoiding most conversations entirely and keeping his eyes fixed on the bar. You certainly expected him to still be sat at the table when you returned from the bathroom, ready to slip into the seat beside him, force him to talk to you. Instead he was gone, and you scanned the rest of the bar trying to locate him. 

Something green and vile jumped you when you finally locked onto him, stood at the bar, surrounded by other women. Surrounded was maybe an exaggeration, as there were really only two of them, but they were practically draping themselves over him, and for some reason that set something alight inside of you. 

You watched them for a moment, how one of them trailed a hand up his arm as he shuddered away from their touch, the other pressing herself against the bar so her chest pushed up dramatically. The green bile in your throat carried your feet forwards, and before you knew it, you were clearing it from your throat to grab their attentions. 

"Spencer, there you are!" You brightened your tone specifically, as you locked eyes with his panicked ones. The two girls looked you up and down as you moved closer, brushing past them to climb up right into his lap on the barstool, pulling his arm around you as you pressed your ass into his crotch. 

"Are you going to introduce me to your new friends?" The smile didn't reach your eyes as you let your back rest against his chest comfortably, watching the women to see their reactions. The one touching him pulled her arm back instantly, and the other readjusted her dress before they both left silently, carrying their glasses back to wherever they came from. 

You watched them leave a little triumphantly before the green faded, and you realised what you had done. 

"Y/N…?" His voice was hesitant in your ear, and you shivered slightly before pushing off of him. 

"I'm so sorry, Spence, it just- it… looked like you were hard." You panicked again, pushing closer to him. "No, like you were in a hard situation, not that you were," your hand accidentally dropped to his crotch as you spoke your final words: "Hard."

He twitched beneath you as you finally looked down to where your hand was, as his mouth opened to say something. 

"Y/N…" was all you heard before you turned around, and fast walked to the entrance, picking your bag up quickly on the way, and then sprinted the second the cold air hit your face. 

You cursed yourself inwardly as you ran the three blocks more to your apartment, thankful that you were at least in walking (or apparently running) distance. What the hell had you been thinking? Practically sexually harassing one of your coworkers like that, grabbing his dick, albeit accidentally. 

You slammed your door shut behind you, leaning against it and sliding to the floor as you finally accepted that whatever this was with Reid, it wasn't friendship for you anymore. And you weren't sure if it had ever been. 

With your head between your legs, arms wrapped tightly around yourself, you started replaying each moment with him, each touch from the very first. How even the memory of a brush past you could excite a fire in your heart, a heat between your legs growing by the second. 

You wanted to crawl pathetically into bed and not think about him until the next morning at work,  but fate, or Doctor Spencer Reid, had other plans. 

The knock at your door was sudden and incessant, the banging starting loud, and staying consistent until you tentatively pulled it open. 

He was stood there, chest heaving, looking down at you, sweat coating his forehead. 

"Can I… Come in?" He asked, and you nodded, too stunned at his sudden appearance to tell if this was real or just your fantasy becoming a little too realistic. 

He thanked you for letting him inside, and you showed him inside, guiding him to he couch, where you took a seat opposite him. 

"I wanted to make sure you were okay, you left in a rush and…" He trailed off, eyes flicking down to your lips. His Adam's apple bobbed with his swallow, and you watched it yourself, trying to avoid meeting his eyes, as if you were a schoolgirl about to get in trouble with a disappointed teacher. 

"I'm okay." 

"Okay, that's great, that's… Great." His breaths caught up to him, and he took another deep breath and a swallow before continuing. "How about we continue that game from last time. Twenty questions?" 

You'd do anything to stop him walking out of that door, but you felt too shy to touch him again, even in the friendly ways you were used to, so you eagerly accepted. 

"Yes, that… That sounds fun, thank you." 

"Okay. Question one. Do you know why I'm here?" He asks as he shifts closer to you, still not touching, but at a proximity where it would be natural to accidentally brush against one another. 

"N-No. But I might have an idea." He nodded at your response before moving on to his next question. 

"Question two. Are you a virgin?" He didn't trip or stumble over the words, pushing them out slowly and delicately so as not to offend. 

"Yes." The lump in your throat was thick, almost as if he'd put something there that you couldn't help but choke on. 

"Question three. Do you want to remain a virgin?" 

You shook your head no, following it with your voice seconds later as he stood up from his seat, putting some distance between you. 

"Question four. Do you feel intoxicated or drunk right now?" He held himself still as you sat on the very edge of your chair, desperate to feel his hands on you now. 

"No, I only had one sip at the bar before…" He held up a hand to silence you, and you did. 

Question five. Answer me honestly. Do you like it when I touch you?" 

"Yes." Your breath was a whisper, but it was breathy, sounding almost pornographic in your neediness. 

"Question six. Do you like it when other people touch you?" 

"Do you?" His head snapped back to yours, and you froze under his gaze. "Not as much." You answered and relaxed again, pouting slightly at his lack of answer. 

"Question seven. Do you like me touching other people?" He took a step closer to you again with this question, but you continued pouting as you shook your head. 

"No. I don't." His lips quirked upwards before he could stop them, but he gathered himself together again. 

"Question eight. Do you want me to leave?" You met his eyes at that question, taking one good, hard, long look at him. You noted the tensed jaw, the clenched fists, his stiff body language, trailing your eyes over him before looking him directly in the eyes. 

"No." You let the word hang on your tongue, pulling it out a bit longer than was necessary as you watched him take in a shaky breath. 

"Question nine. Do you want me to come over there and kiss you?" 

"God, yes." He was on you in seconds, restraints gone, throwing himself back at you as his lips collided with your own. Virgin you may be, but you'd kissed men before, and it had been nothing like this. 

His hands trailed up to your hair, tipping your head back slightly so he could gain better access. He bit your lip and thrust his tongue into your mouth when you gasped, so eager to consume every part of you whole. 

You'd never felt like this before. 

He pulled away, and you tried desperately to chase his lips, even as your lungs begged you to stop. 

"Last question," he whispered in the space between you, holding the sides of your face at a distance so neither of you could be tempted to dive in for a second kiss, or a third, or fourth. "Do you want me to fuck you?" You whimpered at his words, nodding furiously as you tried to lunge at him again, but he held you firm. 

"I need you to say your answer, baby. I need to hear your consent, okay?" You nod again and open your mouth, eyes never leaving his lips as you moan out a definitive "yes."

Instead of letting your lips fall against his again, he lunges for you, grabbing your legs and hauling you up into his arms, carrying you bridal style all the way back to your bedroom. 

"Gonna do it right," he mutters to himself as he throws you down on the bed, pulling back to take off his jacket and unbutton the cuffs on his shirt, rolling the sleeves up meticulously. 

"I'm going to take care of you, Y/N, okay?" You nod at him and flush, suddenly feeling the strength of his need for you as he holds himself back. He puts his hands on you again, gently coaxing your legs apart, pushing your skirt up over your hips. Reflexively, you move your hands over yourself, covering your sensitive places with your hands. 

"Don't cover yourself." His voice is strong, deep, as he orders you, and you let your arms drop back to your side. He traces his hands up and down your legs, almost as if he were memorising every inch of your skin, how you felt under his hands. 

His hands make their way up to your panties, and you watch with baited breath as he moves you, pulling your hips up so he can let them fall down. The lace material tickles you as he pushes them past your thighs, over your knees and finally off your legs entirely, balling them up and putting them in his pocket. 

"I'm going to touch you now, okay?" He asks it like a question, but he doesn't wait for your answer, unable to hold himself back before diving straight between your legs, so desperate to taste you that he's deaf to everything else. 

His tongue connects with your sensitive area first, tracing up and down at a steady pace as his legs half-heartedly push your legs open. It's almost as if he's enjoying the pressure of your legs wrapped around him, suffocating between your thighs as he feels your pleasure build, and build. 

Eventually he pushes your hips further apart, letting himself push his face into even more of you, his tongue entering your hole as he begins fucking it in and out of you, fingers coming back up to your clit to keep up the pressure there. 

"Spencer, please, please, fuck." 

"I love it when you beg for me like a needy little slut," he whispers, holding your legs apart as he looked up at you, face slick with your arousal. Your mouth drops wide at his words, and he immediately begins to retract them. 

"I'm sorry, Y/N, if that was too far, I just got caught up -" 

"I liked it." You said, quieting him as you spread your legs a bit further apart, begging for him to continue. He smiled and dived right back in, bringing his other hand up under your dress, all the way to your chest as you kept your legs open yourself. 

He sucked your clit into his mouth, lapping up all the juices you were releasing as you moaned underneath him, bucking into his face at the memory of his degradation. 

You were a needy little slut, and you needed him to make you cum. He was more than happy to oblige. 

He kept you there for what felt like forever, drinking you in for as long as he could. You orgasmed twice before he finished, completely overstimulated by the way he was desperately fucking you with his mouth. 

He was obsessed with you, with your scent, your taste, with being the first ever person to ever touch you like this, to fuck you, to make you feel so good. Without him even realising, you're pushed to the brink for a second time, shuddering under the heat of his mouth as he drinks you in. 

He finally pulls his head up again, coming up for air as you're twitching under him. 

"Perfect, baby, so perfect for me." His lips fall down to your own, and suddenly you're tasting yourself on his tongue. It's hypnotising, and despite the pleasure you've just received, you need more, desperate to feel him on you again. 

When he pulls his mouth away, he replaces himself with his fingers, pushing them into your mouth. 

"Suck," he says and you listen, as he watches the way you lick yourself off of him. 

He unzips your dress with his free hand, carefully pulling your arms out of the sleeves and pushing your dress off your body. You trace your tongue around every ridge of his fingers, leaving no inch undiscovered. He moved you to pull the dress of, and you graciously followed, letting him do whatever he wanted to you. 

"Nice little slut, tasting herself on my fingers?" He whispered when you were finally bare, pulling his fingers from your mouth, letting the trail of spit hang between you as you moaned. 

He removed himself from over you, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. 

"Come here. Come and sit on my lap." 

You cautiously followed his directions. You'd thought that he'd fuck you then, after spending so long getting you ready, but apart from his tie, which he was in the middle of discarding as you crawled over to him, he hadn't derobed any further. 

"That's it baby, come and sit yourself down right here." He pat his thigh and you crawled over, lowering yourself down onto his clothed leg. 

"What now, Spencer?" You stuttered the words out, heart beating as you awaited his instructions. 

"Now, I want you to rock your hips back and forth. Just like this." He grabbed your hips and started moving you against his leg, pushing you down to grind into him. 

"Spencer, wait, I don't know-" 

"I do. I know you can do it, so please try. For me." You pulled you in for a kiss, and then removed his hands from you, leaving you to rock against his thigh. 

You were unsure of the movements at first, moving slowly as you dragged your aching cunt up and down the top of his pants, watching as you saw the wet patch you were making. You moaned with each movement, growing faster and more confident as you continued. 

"That's it baby, use me to get yourself off, okay? Let me see you." He whispered in your ears, pushing your sweat-slicked hair ou of your face, holding it up for you. 

"Spencer please," you don't even know what you're asking for as you beg him, feeling that familiar bubble in your stomach grow. 

"No, you can do it. You look so beautiful like this, Y/N, so desperate for my cock, huh?" You start trying to unbutton his shirt, desperate to see more of him, to feel more of his bare skin on your own. But he stops your hands and holds them against his chest. 

"You need to ask nicely first, before trying to undress me like a needy little whore." The words should sound violent, should humiliate you, but his voice is so soft you simply move faster, moaning and desperate to cum one more time. 

"Fuck, Spencer, I'm gonna… I'm gonna…" 

"No, you're not." Before you finish, he pulls you off his leg, hauling your body back onto the bed, and laying you back down on your back. You moan in disapproval, so frustrated with the lack of release that you feel tears prick the corners of your eyes. 

"Don't cry, baby. I'll give you what you want soon." He practically rips his clothes off, pulling his vest over his head, stumbling over each button and removing his belt and pants before climbing over to you. His cock finally free you take your first glance at it. 

You'd never entirely been sure how it was that the male appendage fit inside something as small as your pussy, and you were doubly unsure about how Spencer's was ever going to fit inside you. You stared at it wide eyed, as you took in the length, the girth, and the heat of it as he stroked it in one hands, pushing on top of you. 

He let go of it as soon as he was between your legs, letting it fall onto your stomach as he crawled between your legs. He trailed a finger over your lower abdomen just around where his cock was twitching against you as his other hand came up to stroke your hair. 

"You look worried, Y/N, what's wrong?" 

"Will it, um, will it fit?" You asked, knowing how cliché you sounded. 

"We've spent the last thirty-seven minutes loosening you up with foreplay. It should fit, but I can't promise it won't hurt."

"Right, if my hymen is still intact you have to…" 

"That's right. And then it's going to reach all the way in you to here," with each word, he stepped his fingers up from your clit to where the tip of his dick sat on your stomach, letting you come to terms with exactly how full you were about to be. 

"I'm going to fill you, and you're going to be mine, and I'm going to be yours. My sweet angel." He stroked your face, catching his thumb on your lips on the way down, tempted to thrust it into your mouth again, to see just how much of a whore you could be, given the chance. 

Instead, he lined himself up with your dripping core, and, making sure one last time that this is what you wanted, slowly pushed in. 

It was uncomfortable at first, having something so wholly alien inside of you, you weren't sure how to react. You wrapped your arms around him, digging your nails in, deep, as he pushed in further. 

"Y/N, I need to move more now, and it's going to hurt a little, you just have to trust me, okay?" He kissed the top of your head, but you were so lost in the sensations to answer. With one swift jerk of his hips, he pushed through your hymen, and fully sheathed himself inside of you. He pressed small kisses everywhere on your face, while whispering to you how beautiful you were. 

"You're doing so good for me angel, I'm going to take care of you. Going to make you feel so much better than this. You're so beautiful." His lips were distractingly sweet, as were his words, and soon you found yourself relaxing into him, the sharp pain of earlier fading to an electric buzz inside of you. 

You jerked your hips up to meet his, and with that, he knew you were ready. From his words, you'd assumed that he'd move slowly in you. But with one final lingering kiss to your lips, he lifted his chest up, pinned your legs tightly down, and started thrusting hard and fast. 

"Sorry, just couldn't help myself baby. Needed to see you looking ruined underneath me." Moans spilled out of your mouth with his every movement, and the orgasm you'd built up earlier hit you like a ton of bricks, blackness hazing over your eyes as they rolled back in your head. 

"Fuck, fuck, Spencer, don't stop!" You screamed at the top of your lungs, unable to control your pitch or volume as he slammed into you desperately. He was so turned on by the sight of you beneath him, so proud of having fucked away your virginity, to have given you your very first penetrative orgasm that he wouldn't have heard anything that came out of your mouth. 

His eyes were fixated at the place between you, where you joined, where he was entering you, defiling you, claiming you, using you, breeding you. 

He knew he wouldn't cum inside of you, not the first time, but it was tempting. Instead, he chose to move his lips back to your skin. He marked you with love bites and hickeys across your neck, chest and shoulders as you moaned with every roll of his hips, shuddering on his cock. He was close. And seeing you like this, displaying all the signs that you were his and his only, he finally lost it. 

Pulling his dick out of you, he stroked it through his release, spraying his seed over the parts of your skin he hadn't bruised with love. Your stomach, your breasts, hell, one spurt even landed dangerously close to your lips, he was everywhere. You. Were. His. 

He fell beside you, panting for a few moments as you finally cracked your eyes back open, realising what the two of you had just done. You wiped the cum from your face with a stray finger, staring at it for a second before licking it off your finger. 

"As hot as that was, I think we should get you cleaned up properly, angel." He spends forever cleaning you up, carrying you to the bathroom, washing your entire body with hot water and a fresh cloth, running you a hot bath to relax your muscles. You snuggle into his chest at some point in the bath, relaxing so much into him, that you drift off to sleep. 

You feel him carry you to bed, semi-conscious, tucking you in and climbing in next to you. He holds you through the night, the way he holds you after your bad cases. He holds you until he doesn't. 

You're blindsided by the cold bed the next morning. You knew he would be there, you'd felt him inside you and next to you, and you'd needed his warmth, but he was gone. You looked for him in every other part of your home, looked for a note or an explanation, but there wasn't one. 

Through tears, you got ready for work, ready to face him and make him answer why he was suddenly gone. You wanted him to apologise, especially since he'd marked you so badly the night before you looked like a car crash victim from the neck down. 

Dark lavender blossomed along your collar bones as you looked at yourself in the mirror, trailing a finger along every place that he touched the night before. 

"How could you be so stupid?" You cursed yourself. If you'd have listened to what he was saying last night, really listened, you'd have known he wasn't going to be here in the morning. He wanted to ruin you, to possess you, to take away your virginity, and he'd done just that. 

You almost wanted to keep the bruises on display going into work, to make him confront the pain he caused you by leaving. In the end, it was the inevitable stares from everyone else that convinced you otherwise. You wouldn't give him the satisfaction. 

You pushed through the doors to the bullpen and didn't bother putting your bag down before you started scanning the room for him. 

"Where's Spencer?" You practically shouted the words at Morgan, unable to hold back your anger. 

"Y/N, what's wrong?" 

"Where is he?" You demand, and there must be something in your eyes that speaks to your devastation because Morgan shuts up and just points to the top of the stairs, where Spencer is exiting Hotch's office without a care in the world. 

You don't realise that something is tears until you're beating a hand against his chest in frustration as they spill down your face. 

"Where were you?" You demand, sobbing into his chest, as he pulls your hands away. The entire office is watching your commotion, but you don't care, you're not letting him move you out of the way. 

"Y/N, I need you to sign this." His voice is calm, and you hate him for that. That he can stay so neutral when he's just broken your heart. 

"No, not until you tell me why you left." 

"Sign the papers, Y/N, trust me." He pulls your chin up so you can look him in the eye, and you catch a glimpse of the man who has been holding you, comforting you for the last four months. You snatch the pen from him and sign the papers, thrusting them back at him with a scowl. 

He smiles as he looks down at them, placing them back on his desk before pulling you in for a long, deep kiss. You're shocked at first, but you melt into it, pulling him closer so he can't leave again. 

"I'm sorry. I had to come into the office to declare our relationship, Morgan sometimes tells me I have a one track mind, and when I woke up this morning, the one thing I wanted to do was get it in writing that you were mine." 

Your push the tears out of his face, and attempt to pull him down for another kiss. You don't get the chance, as the sound of several throats clearing around you burst your bubble. 

"Public space, no canoodling." Rossi shouts down at you from the balcony, a soft smirk on his face. 

Penelope runs in from her office, and stares wide-eyed at the lack of space between the two of you. "You! And you! Security cameras….. You!"

"Now, I'm sure there's a story here, but from the state of our little angel's neck here, I'm sure I don't want to hear it." Derek laughs, smacking Spencer on the back in praise as he walks up the stairs to the meeting room. 

You slap a hand over your neck, trying to pull the turtleneck further up to hide the mark you evidently missed. 

"She's my angel, now." Spencer calls up to him. "I have the paperwork to prove it."  

[exhaslo]

Over-Time Ch2

(CEO!Miguel x Shy/Clumsy!Reader)

Ch1

Warning: MINORS DNI, eventual smut, slow-burn, mentions of sex, bullying, cussing, fluff

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A soothing hot tea was just the thing to calm the nerves. All of your worries melted away with each sip. The amount of drink options that were offered for interviews was quite impressive. That's a rich company for sure.

Plus, the music was very relaxing. You had started to wonder about the perks of working here that the website didn't tell you. All you had to do was keep calm and do well during this interview. You had pracited for hours in the mirror.

You could handle a one on one interview!

Reviewing common interview questions, you noticed more people arrive on the floor. Each took a seat away from you, looking around in awe. In total, including you, there were six people. Not a lot for how big his company was.

"Alright. Everyone is here, please follow me to the interview room." A woman with incredible fashion said.

Your eyes widen in shock as everyone got up and followed her. You were last, feeling your nerves kick in. Arriving at the large room, you felt your fears sink in.

This was a group interview.

You were not getting this job. You couldn't do group interviews. It was hard to speak up and you often got over shadowed by other people. Your stomach was twisting as the urge to puke was starting to form. This was horrible.

But you had to be brave!

"Alright. I'm Lyla, normally I won't be conducting the interview, but there was a last minute emergency so you are stuck with me. Shame for the lot of you honestly." Lyla spoke.

You sat near the back since the others took the closer seats. Trying to control your breathing, you focused on the painting behind Lyla. It was a beautiful water color portrait of a foggy forest after a rainstorm. It was quite pleasant.

"I've read your files. I want your names and why you think you deserve to work here." Lyla said harshly.

You were practicing what you were going to say as everyone went their turn. You were going to be the fourth person speaking. All you had to do was say your name and why you would fit in at Alchemax. That was it. Easy.

"Next."

"H-Hello. I-I'm-"

"My name is Phillip. I believe-"

You tuned the man out, shocked that he cut you. Rolling your lips inward, you tried your best not to cry as you just repeated what you were going to say in your head. It was always like this. You needed to be louder. You needed to stop being shy.

----------

Miguel rested his head against the palm of his hand as he watched Lyla run the group interview. His focus turned to you since it was your turn to speak. It was cute how he noticed you count the people ahead of you and started muttering to yourself.

"H-Hello. I-I'm-"

"My name is Phillip. I believe-"

Miguel scoffed in disgust towards the man. Yes, your voice was low, but you were still speaking. Miguel hated it when people were interrupted. No matter, Miguel had to just stay quiet and let Lyla run this interview.

It was rough. You were being spoken over and interrupted at any given chance. Miguel wanted to see what you were capable of. You sounded so sure of yourself in the elevator. Hell, even shy people need to be given a fair chance.

"Lyla, leave the room for a moment. I want to see something."

-------

Lyla pressed against her earbud, listening to someone from what it seems. You were sunk in your seat, glancing at her.

"Understood." She sighed and released her earbud, "I shall return in a moment. There is a minor set back I must resolve."

With that, Lyla left the room. You gulped since everyone now had their attention towards you. Like wolves glaring down at their prey. You could feel your heart beat in your throat.

"Best if you leave now."

"No, no. She's making us look good."

"She's useless. How she got this far is beyond me."

"A pest if you ask me."

Unable to hold back your tears, you were quick to grab your paperwork. One of the other interviewers quickly forced you back into your seat.

"If you leave, it will look like we bullied you. Just shut up and stay seated. Okay?"

You were hesitant to answer.

"Are you fucking stupid? Do you understand?"

Nodding violently, you quickly wiped your tears. Their grip was harsh against your shoulder. All you wanted to do was leave. Leave and cry. This was horrible. What made you think you had a chance at such a fancy company?

"(Y/N), follow me." Lyla said as she entered the room for a moment.

You were quick to grab your things and leave. Lyla had you follow her to a separate room on the floor. Upon entering, you gasped softly as Miguel sat at a small desk, welcoming you in.

--------

Miguel resisted a chuckle as he watched your face light up to a familiar friendly face. He motioned you to sit and offered some water to calm you down. Once you had relaxed a bit, Miguel took a seat back at the desk.

"I should have warned you that it was a group interview." Miguel started. You sipped the water,

"N-No, it's fine. Um...I probably...should have prepared better," You muttered.

Miguel just smiled towards you. You glanced up, making eye contact and gasped. Your cheeks were turning red as you accidently dropped the water.

"Ah! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"It's okay," Miguel grabbed your hand, helping you back into the seat. He grabbed the bottle of water and placed it on the desk, "I'm sure you're still shaken up. You can relax here."

"Thank you....T-To be honest, I...I am a little clumsy too...Especially when my...nerves kick in."

"And that's alright. I want Alchemax to be a comfortable place for my-uh, our employees." Miguel cleared his throat.

Who knows how nervous you would get if you found out that he was the CEO. Your face might turn into a tomato at that rate. Miguel wanted to keep you in the dark just a little bit longer. It was refreshing to speak with someone who didn't know his identity.

"Here. I want you to organize this list of meetings for me during a one week schedule."

Miguel handed you two pieces of paper. He sat at the desk, watching you work as you read everything carefully. This was the first schedule that Lyla ever had to work with and it stressed her out trying to fit everything together.

"Done."

Miguel raised his head in surprise as you finished in a matter of minutes. Looking over the schedule you had made, Miguel was surprised. You had managed to work everything out and even give Miguel more time than Lyla did.

"Impressive." Miguel whispered, "Mind if I give you a few more tests?"

"I don't," You whispered calmly.

The next half hour consisted of you working on Miguel's meeting schedules with shareholders, business partners, etc. He role played some phone calls with you and everything else that Lyla would normally do for him.

Despite your shy personality and clumsy nature, you were perfect for the job.

"I must say (Y/N), I'm impressed." Miguel said with a smile as he grabbed your hand, "Be sure to expect a call from us soon. Allow me to walk you to the door."

Miguel watched as your cheeks started to fluster. You stayed quiet while smiling. Honestly, having you work under him would be a treat. It was going to be nice having someone so cute and shy working right under him.

"Um, thank you, Miguel....For giving me a chance," You whispered, stopping in front of the elevator. Miguel just chuckled lowly,

"No, thank you, (Y/N)."

Waving goodbye towards you, Miguel waited for the elevator to close before frowning. He stomped his way over to the interview room where Lyla and the five fools were. Slamming the door open, Miguel gave them all a glare.

"All of you, out. I don't want a single pathetic lot of you ever stepping near this building again."

"Wow, harsh much." Lyla teased as the interviewees nearly begged for a chance.

"I have who I want as your replacement."

"Oh? Don't sound too excited now," Lyla chuckled. Once everyone left, she glanced at Miguel, "That good?"

"Don't be jealous if I say she is better than you."

"Ohhh, ouch. That hurt," Lyla laughed and nudged Miguel's shoulder, "I can't wait to train her."

--------

You were biting your lower lip as you smiled from ear to ear. You weren't sure how, but Miguel was your saving grace. You couldn't wait to get a call from Alchemax now. Recalling the warmth of his hand against yours, you nearly squealed.

"Hopefully I get to work with him~"

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Next Chapter

@timidquindim @decentsoupperson @ivkygirly @@reader-1290 @daddyfroglegs @eepybunny0805 @ddreabea @iamperson12280 @migueloharasoulmate @tojishugetiddies @koko-1025 @hyeinwluv85s @daisy-artfield @migueloharastruelove @a-lil-whore @hcqwxrtss123 @the-pan-liquid @tojisfav @pochapo @bubblegumfanfictions @brighterthanlonelythoughts @ghstypaint @mangoslushcrush @synamonthy @scaleniusrm @moonspectorx @dorck26 @a060403 @lunablackcosplay @soraya-daydreams @lovefanfic1 @mymrsweirdnessshipperstuff-blog @pretty-pink-princesss @corpsebridenightamare @razertail18 @gachagator @droolingmuttt @miguelsfavwife @ryzguy06 @raideaters-blog @manishkaworld @keidilla

[moon7jay]

omg I'm so in love with the way you write 💖

can you write first time with jungwon but his girlfriend is a bit traumatized by men cause of her bad experience? we really need gentleman jungwon yaay

I rarely write soft sex so bear with me if this isn't as good anon 🫡

DELICATE (y.jw)

MINORS DNI

Warnings : mentions of trauma, panic attack, smut, ig that's all?

Your mind went blank upon hearing the glass bottle crash on the floor, no longer intact it was shattered into pieces with the perfume it held inside gone to complete waste as the expensive fluid seeped into the carpet.

your hands shook as u heard jungwon's voice calling for u from the other room, your throat tightened and your vision started to become hazy, terror filling up your body, freezing it from inside out. You stayed rooted to your place, your heartbeat sounding too loud in your ears as u heard jungwon's footsteps get closer to where u were.

Panic was beginning to overtake u, your mouth gone dry and hold tightening on the dust cloth you were holding in your hands. Your eyes began to water and it was becoming difficult to breathe

"Baby what was that noise? You okay? " Jungwon's voice sounded muffled to you with the blood rushing to your brain. You looked up at him with distraught eyes as your boyfriend finally noticed the shattered perfume bottle.

His perfume bottle, to be precise.

"I-im so sorry, sorry j-jungwon I'm so s-sorry,it was an a-accident"

his head snapped up at hearing your trembling voice, taking in your shaking figure he took a step forward towards u. This action made u flinch, your trauma induced reflex working faster than u could comprehend, bringing two hands in front of you to protect yourself from the oncoming strike as you let the dust cloth fall to the floor and shrinking yourself in size as u begged for forgiveness.

Jungwon was stunned. What the fuck.

He halted his advance towards u instantly upon seeing how terrified u actually were of him. At the same time, he couldn't just stand there while u sobbed on your own. He slowly approached your crouched figure and took your hands softly in his own, removing them from the front of your face, revealing your tear stained cheeks, terrified eyes looking up at him to gauge his next move.

"I'm not going to hurt you baby" He whispered in a soothing tone, hoping it would bring u back. He wanted to puke. Seeing you like this was something he didn't want even in his worst nightmare. You thought he was gonna hit you? You? his sweet little love? he felt an insane urge to scream

Your form stayed frozen, quiet sobs and sniffles coming from your mouth as u stared into his love filled eyes. He loved you. This was your jungwon. He would never hurt you.

"I-ill buy u another, i-i promise I'm so s-sorry, please" u started crying again, fear overtaking all your senses, just the thought that he could stop loving you or leave u over ur stupid mistakes made you cry harder. Why were u such a loser, no wonder your ex didn't love you, no wonder he called you worthless, all u did was destroy things.

"Hey hey hey, look at me y/n, look at me baby-his warm hands cupped your wet face, breaking your inner monologue-i don't care ok? I don't care about that stupid perfume bottle, u can break hundreds of them, here, break this one too I don't give a single fuck"

He grabbed another expensive perfume bottle from his collection behind you and handed it to you

"Just stop crying, I love you, nothing matters more than u y/n, nothing, do u believe me baby? " He asked exasperatedly, his own eyes filling up with moisture just thinking about how deep your past suffering must be for you to react this way. His thumbs continually swiped under your eyes as warm moisture kept seeping from your eyes. But u were beginning to quiet down, nodding slowly,your body had stopped trembling and jungwon took this as a cue to finally wrap your heaving form in his arms. God you were so small, he felt a raging urge to hurt whoever had dared to damage your self esteem in such a drastic way.

He sighed in relief when he felt your arms coming up to wrap around his neck, burying your face in his chest, sniffing quietly.

Jungwon realized that day that you were someone very delicate and fragile at heart. the fact that you had given him the privilege of coming so close to u even after all that u had been through, he thanked his lucky stars for that. You were his baby and he swore to always treat u in a way that would give u no chance of experiencing that hurt ever again.

His hands tightened around your warm, soft body, kissing your head and whispering sweet nothings in your ears, letting u know that he loved you.

your giggles were like music to his ears, watching you like this was something he could do all day, just listening to you talk about random things and adding his own jokes here and there, making you laugh and hit his shoulder. This was all he wanted. You were all he wanted. and damn did he want u so bad.

He could not focus on what you were saying as his gaze pivoted to your delicious lips, he needed a taste and he needed a taste right now. He leaned towards you and cupped your cheek in his palm. you stopped mid sentence and stared into his eyes nervously, his face was inches from yours and the proximity was making u fidget.

"I want to kiss u baby, please tell me u want that too" He whispered and watched in amusement as you blushed profusely and gave him a small shy smile. A small nod from you was all he needed to capture your tempting lips in his own. The kiss started off as soft, but your taste was addicting as he delved further into your mouth, pressing his tongue against your lips, biting softly on your lower one which made u gasp in his mouth, giving him the chance to protrude his tongue into your warm mouth. Your taste was addicting, he reached deeper, licking into your warm cavity with passion. Your hands fisted the couch material that u were sitting on. The kiss felt so good. You had never been kissed with such want before. you were trying your best to return his passion by tangling your tongue with his own when all of a sudden you felt his other hand beginning to slip under your tank top, caressing your naked skin. Jungwon felt your body stiffen underneath his touch and he stopped his movements immediately, pulling back from the kiss. He heard your sharp inhale before he saw the tears gathering in your eyes. He immediately cupped your face "baby what's wrong, did I make u uncomfortable? " He asked softly, trying to understand your boundaries regarding physical touch.

He knew physical touch didn't come easy to you, it was something you struggled with on the daily and you and jungwon had come a long way from the first day when u flinched even from feeling him hold your hand and now u were wrapped around him like a koala everyday. There was progress and he didn't want to ruin it.

"I-im sorry, I don't know what happened" u whispered, a few tear drops rolling down your eyes. This was your jungwon, he would never do anything to hurt u, u reminded yourself. He cooed and shushed you, kissing your tears away

"It's okay baby, I'm willing to wait for u for however long it takes, do u understand me? " He asked and u nodded. Your arms came up to wrap around his neck and u stared deep into his eyes guiltily

"I don't want you to think that I don't want you, because I do " u whispered but jungwon shook his head, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you into his lap.

"Never. and I mean it y/n. Never do something u don't wanna do just because u want to spare my feelings. I love you and I would never forgive myself if I ever became the person u have been running from till now"

His words made u tear up and u buried your head in the crook of his neck. U don't remember for how long he whispered sweet confessions and how proud of you he was in your ear until u eventually drifted off to sleep in his arms.

You loved kissing jungwon. And u guessed he loved kissing you too because everytime u both were in a close proximity, his mouth was on yours, desperately making out. But the more time you spent in your boyfriend's arms with his tongue in your mouth the more your desire for him deepened. Your thighs desperately rubbing against each other, trying to get some sort of relief from the burning feeling between your legs.

And u knew that jungwon saw it too, u had seen how he would break the kiss to look down at your rubbing thighs and his eyes would darken and he would kiss you harder, messier. But he never dared cross your boundaries even once. His hands staying respectfully above your clothes, caressing your sides or holding your face, never venturing to touch the parts of you that u hadn't given him permission to touch yet.

And you were beginning to feel so safe around him. Jungwon was your safe place, your safe haven. so different from your past. so loving that u weren't used to being desired this way.

His every action screamed his adoration for you, making you gasp at how someone like him could want someone like you. And as much as he wanted you, he respected you. So much so that he taught u how to respect yourself and your emotions.

u weren't used to that. u weren't used to this. and even though everything was new to u and there were so many new feelings to process, you were sure about one thing. u wanted to give yourself to jungwon. u wanted to feel him intimately.

"um, wonie? " your hesitant voice captured your boyfriend's attention from where he was sitting working on his laptop, atop the couch

"Yeah sweetheart?" He asked u, his eyes looking at your figure sitting in the middle of the bed in nothing but his shirt. you blushed at the nickname and played with the hem of his shirt, making it ride further up your thighs. Your breathing became heavier when u saw how jungwon was ogling at your exposed thighs. One thing about your boyfriend was that he might not be able to touch u with his hands but his eyes were always caressing you every which way. His eyes and lust filled gaze were the reason it had been so difficult for u to control your desires from spiralling like this.

"Do u want to kiss?" u asked shyly, this was the first time u had taken initiative in matters like this

You almost laughed upon watching how fast your boyfriend was shutting down his laptop and sprinting to come close to you on the bed

He made u lie down on your back as he hovered over you, this was the first time u had been underneath him and u could tell that jungwon liked the view

"U know I always wanna kiss u baby, always wanna taste you" He whispered before lowering himself and capturing your lips in his own. You wrapped your arms around his neck, opening your mouth to make way for his tongue, slowly sucking on it, making him groan into your mouth. The sound reached straight between your legs and u were pulling away from the kiss to stare into jungwon's eyes. His panting breaths falling on your face

"Can-can we.. " u trailed off under his intense gaze, suddenly feeling too shy to tell him what u wanted. He sensed that as he bent down to kiss your nose

"Hey, tell me" His soft voice filled with absolute adoration made u more confident

"can we-can we try something new today? " u said, ur eyes looking for a reaction on his face, you bit ur lip when he smirked in shock and joy.

"Yeah? U wanna try something new baby?"

U nodded, pressing yourself closer to his body hovering over yours

"want u so bad won, please take me" u whispered at him and his jaw clenched.

Jungwon cursed under his breath and bent down to suck on the delicate skin of your neck

"Fuck u drive me insane y/n" He whispered, his hands moving down to caress your thighs, a sharp gasp leaving your mouth at his touch but before he could pull his hands away u were holding his hand there by urs.

"I'm okay, I'm okay I promise wonie" u assured him. His grip tightened on the soft flesh of your thighs at your words and he started caressing your flesh.

A sigh escaped from your lips upon feeling his touch, his touch made u feel safe, it didn't make u wanna run away. U closed your eyes and tangled your fingers in his hairs as he sucked small love bites throughout the length of your neck, his palms caressing every inch of naked skin they could find, finally getting the opportunity to grope your pretty body.

His pulled away to gather your shirt on your abdomen, revealing your panties underneath. You heard him curse some profanities while he pushed up the shirt further up your body, revealing your naval which made u bite your lower lip. His fingers prodded at your naval and he looked up at you with a hooded gaze

"Can i? " He asked, his voice heavy with lust and u nodded without asking him what he meant. U just knew that u were ready for whatever it was that he wanted to do. That's the reason why u were caught off gaurd when he started licking your naval, rolling his tongue around the skin of your abdomen, just licking your flesh, making out with it. You fisted the sheets around your head as he continued his ministrations. It felt so good.

His hands reached at the back of your bra and he was asking for your permission again. Soon enough u were left in just your panties, sweet moans filling the bedroom as your boyfriend kept sucking and groaning around your nipples, his hands rubbing over your slit from above your panties. Your fingers were buried in his hairs, pushing him further into ur flesh.

"J-jungwon, please, please" u begged for your boyfriend's touch, feeling your body burning, getting flushed with wanton desire

Jungwon came up to bite your lower lip and groaned at how wet you were, your slick beginning to ooze out from where he was rubbing u over your lace underwear.

"Gonna give u everything u want baby, ask me" he whispered and u moaned at the way his fingers were still pressing on your clit.

"I-inside, won please" you were too far lost into your desire to feel shy any longer. Jungwon looked at you with want, making u drip more. He watched your pretty body heaving and squirming underneath him and his inner beast growled to take and take.

But the way your big, innocent eyes were still fidgeting, his heart felt full of love for you. you were quite literally his everything

"R u sure y/n? We don't have to do this right now, I promise" he kissed your cheek, even though you could feel his hard on pressing against your thighs. You shook your head and kissed him deeply

"I'm sure, I've never been so sure about anything before baby, please make me yours" You whined and jungwon almost came in his pants at the pornographic sounds u were letting out.

Jungwon wanted to eat you out, but the bulge in his pants was starting to hurt, he needed to be wrapped inside your soft and warm pussy folds soon. He lifted himself off of you and finally unbuckled his pants, running his hungry eyes all over your panting figure as he got rid of all his clothes. God he had imagined u like this, naked and pliant underneath him on his bed a lot of fucking times but the real deal was a thousand times better.

You gasped upon seeing his hardened cock and u unconsciously rubbed your thighs together

"That's so big" u moaned and jungwon nodded

"worried it isn't gonna fit sweetheart?"

seeing u nod in worry had him chuckling. He hovered back over your body and inserted his tongue in your mouth while his fingers finally slipped aside your panties and started rubbing your clit in the earnest, swallowing your sinful moans.

Your hands tangled themselves in his locks again and u tugged hard when he inserted a finger in you experimentally, moaning softly

"Fuck, you're fucking soaking baby, so fucking hot" He whispered in your mouth as u continued to squirm and take his fingers in you. One became two , two became three and soon enough you were a blabbering mess, your wet walls clenching around his fingers, making him curse. Jungwon's tongue was tangled with yours when he decided to pull his fingers out of you, bringing the slick coated hand in between your kissing mouths, making you suck and lick on your own wetness while he did the same. Exchanging saliva and your wetness while u both made out messily.

"Taste so good baby, u're driving me crazy" Jungwon groaned, pulling back from your mouth and finally tugging at his cock. Groaning at the momentary relief, precum oozing out of it's slit, just turned on beyond belief. He ran his cockhead over your pussy, bumping your clit with his dick, making u gasp and moan, your hands fisting the sheets as you prepared yourself for the intrusion

"Ready? " He asked, his eyes looked loving as they stared at you, asking for your consent again and it made u fall in love a little harder with him. You nodded with a faint smile and he smiled back at you, coming back to kiss u deeply and lovingly, intertwining his one hand with yours, holding it beside your head while with the other he guided his cock inside of you, finally breaching your entrance in one thrust, swallowing up your screams.

Your hands came up to dig your nails into his shoulders as jungwon pulled out and thrust right back in. snapping his hips against yours with passion. You both stared into each other's eyes, panting and moaning into each other's mouth as he made love to you, your bodies brimming with pleasure

"Feels good yeah?" He groaned, hitting your cervix head on, his cockhead reaching that spot inside of you which made your mouth fall open, too lost in the pleasurable stimulation. u could only nod, bringing him down to kiss you again. Your thighs were covered in your leaking juices, the squelching sounds making it impossible for u to hide your desire. u were impossibly wet

The room was quite except for the skin slapping noises that your lust filled bodies were making, your hips chasing his hips, trying to grind back and moaning out your ecstasy. The tight, wet grip of your pussy around his shaft was making jungwon hungry, hungry for more and he started going deeper in you,wrapping your thigh around his waist. His thrusts remained slow but deep, stroking your insides, making you throb and clench.

Groans and whimpers of pleasure filled the room, whispers of "baby more" and "so good" being exchanged between the passionate sex. This was heaven.

"I love you" u whimpered as you felt yourself unraveling on his cock, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, making him groan at how u deliciously clenched around him, pushing him closer to his own high

"I love u so much baby, your pussy feels so good" He moaned capturing your lips again, fucking you through your orgasm, his hips snapping faster and harder

Needles to say, jungwon took u slow and deep all night long, u both not getting enough of mating and grinding, using your hips to pleasure each other. He fucked u. No.

He made love to you.

He made love to you like u were something delicate, something precious that he needed to handle with care.

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

The Lentil & The Blueberry (The Surprise, Part 2)

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, NSFW, sex, fingering, mention of vomiting (for my emetophobia babies), established relationship, fluffity fluff, worried Emily has my whole heart Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Weeks six and seven of your pregnancy are underway, and you are struggling. But maybe not as much as your wife? Wildly overprotective Emily will do anything to help you feel better during your pregnancy. And I mean anything. 😉

Week 6: The Lentil

Emily had known about the baby for less than 12 hours, and she’d already gone into full Overprotective Dad™ mode. You’d slept in the morning after telling her, jerking awake to find Emily towering over you, watching with her eyebrows furrowed.

“Jesus, Emily!” you exclaimed, stretching. “You scared me!” You glanced at the clock. “Don’t you have to be at work?”

Emily continued staring, a look of deep concern on her face. “I really don’t want to leave you here like this.”

For a brief moment, you forgot you were pregnant. You scoffed. “I’ve had jet lag before, babe. I think I’ll be okay.”

“No! Pregnant.” She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, absentmindedly running her hands through your hair as you moved to rest your head on her lap.

“I’m fine, Em,” you assured her. “I’m a little tired and sore, but that’s probably just from moving.”

“Maybe I should call and tell them I can’t make it in today…” She was speaking more to herself than to you.

Your voice was stern, decisive. “You can’t take off work for nine months just to sit around and watch me be pregnant. Even if you could, I’d rather you take the nine months after the baby’s born.”

She sighed deeply, looking down at you as if she was making the hardest decision of her life.

“You promise to call me if you need anything?” she asked.

“Promise.”

She gently placed your head back on the pillow, then knelt down in front of the bed so her eyes were level with yours.

“Please don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” she whispered. You could tell she was trying to lighten the mood, to make herself feel better about going to work, but she was too worried about you for it to sound anything other than terrified and pitiful.

“Like what?”

“Ladders, lifting things, falling in the shower...”

“Well, I wouldn’t fall in the shower on purpose,” you argued.

“Just…” She leaned forward and kissed you so gently, so softly, running her thumb slowly along your brow bone. “Be careful. Be safe.” She stood, then leaned down to kiss you on the head one more time.

“I love you,” she said, then lifted up your shirt to kiss your stomach. “And I love you.” She shot you one last desperate, anxious look before leaving.

“Promise you’ll call?”

“Go, Emily.” You shooed her out of the room, laughing. Who would’ve guessed that managing your wife might be the hardest part of being pregnant?

Week 7: The Blueberry (18+)

You leaned back into Emily as the warm water swirled around you, the sound of the jets and the movement of the water soothing your aching body. Morning sickness had started in full force, and your abs were sore from mornings spent heaving over the toilet. Your head was killing you most of the time, and you were constantly bloated. All in all, the first trimester was kicking your ass.

Emily kissed your shoulder, pressing her face next to yours and wrapping her arms around you to gently cup your breasts, mindful of the pain you’d been experiencing.

You sighed contentedly as she ran a thumb lightly over your swollen nipple.

“Better?” she asked.

“Mmhm,” you nodded, eyes closed. When Emily had called this afternoon to check on you, you’d told her how gross you felt from puking all morning, how sore your body was. She’d stopped at Bath & Body Works on the way home to buy every single kind of bath bomb they sold, just to be sure you’d have a fragrance that didn’t make you feel sick. She’d brought Epsom salts and fancy body butters and a new candle because the one you usually had in the bathroom smelled like coffee, and coffee triggered your gag reflex right now. She’d come determined to do whatever it took to help you feel better.

“And to think you said paying more for an apartment with a fancy jacuzzi bathroom was, and I quote, fucking dumb.”

“I take it all back,” you said, whining softly and involuntarily pushing your hips forward as Emily continued circling your nipples, her touch light as a feather.

“Honey,” Emily breathed behind you. “You can say no, but…” Her breath was hot against your ear. “Can I touch you?”

Your body wanted it, but your mind was struggling. “I don’t know, Em…”

Emily gently turned your body around so she could look in your eyes, her thumbs running back and forth along your hands. She leaned close, placing a hand gently on your cheek.

“It’s okay if you really don’t want to, but..” She watched you squirm a bit under the water. “It feels like you do. Can you tell me what’s going on in your head?”

You avoided her eyes, following a stream of bubbles as it made its way around the tub. “I don’t feel very pretty…” you mumbled, looking away.

“What?” she said, and you couldn’t tell if she hadn’t heard you or if she couldn’t believe what you’d said.

“I don’t feel very pretty. I feel gross.”

“Y/N.” Her voice was heavy with love and care and you felt a little like crying, not because you were sad, but because she loved you so much it was overwhelming in your current hormonal state.

Emily pulled you onto her lap and wrapped her arms around your body, pressing kisses into your face and neck. “You are so pretty. What are you talking about?”

“I’m pukey and bloated and my hair is greasy because I’m too tired to shower,” you confessed, resting your head on her shoulder. “I feel disgusting.”

“Baby,” she said, chastising you and gently guiding your face so you had to look at her. “You’re beautiful. You’re growing a whole human right now. You’re incredible. You have never been more beautiful to me.”

Almost unconsciously, you started to grind your hips into Emily’s, your breath coming fast, rhythmic. You sighed, wrapping your arms tightly around her neck.

Emily grinned. The words were working! She left a trail of kisses along your shoulder, placing her hands on your hips to guide you.

“You are stunning, Y/N. You’re growing eyes for our baby this week, did you know that?" She thought for a moment, morbid curiosity getting the better of her. "I wonder what it looks like in there…”

You stopped abruptly, as if a record had been scratched. “Not sexy, Emily. I don’t want you thinking about what the inside of my uterus looks like.”

“Sorry,” she replied sheepishly, an embarrassed smile playing on her lips. You pressed your hands to the side of her face and kissed her, your body hungry for hers for the first time since you’d returned from London. You couldn’t get enough of her, couldn’t get close enough.

“Emily,” you said breathlessly, pulling away to look at her. She was nearly as out of breath as you were–and significantly more flushed. “Touch me.”

“You’re sure?”

“Please.”

You whimpered as Emily’s thumb brushed over your clit, the warm water soft and comforting around you. She rubbed slow, indulgent circles, sensitive to your sensitivity, and your hips rose to meet her each time, even as exhausted as you were.

She kissed you deeply, passionately, her tongue desperate and gentle as it roamed your mouth, your neck. You moaned into her as she slipped two fingers inside of you, your body pulsing urgently around her. She kept her hand still for the most part, letting you control how hard, how fast, how deep.

As your breath grew ragged and your body clenched, surging against Emily’s, she moaned into your mouth, pressing into you. “Oh, god,” you breathed, Emily’s sounds nearly driving you over the edge.

“Come on, baby,” she begged, gasping. “Come for me.”

You drove your hips into Emily as your body convulsed, whimpering while your orgasm washed over you like a waterfall of static electricity. She fucked you through it, only removing her fingers when your breath started to calm and you fell against her, spent.

“Feel better?” she asked, kissing the side of your head, and pushing a string of wet hair out of your face.

You nodded, still too out of breath to speak.

You dragged yourself into a sitting position a few minutes later. “Here,” you said, clearly exhausted. “Let me do you.”

“It’s okay,” Emily told you, grinning.

“I can,” you insisted, pulling her toward you for a kiss.

“No, Y/N,” she said, laughing a bit as she pulled away. “I’m good. As in, I already came.”

“What!?” You giggled, blushing a bit. “Jesus Christ, Em! You were horny as fuck.”

She blushed and kissed you again, then poured some shampoo into her hand and grabbed your head playfully. You sighed happily as she massaged it into your scalp.

“I can’t help it,” she shrugged. “Look at you. Your boobs are fucking huge right now.”

“Well, don’t get used to it.”

Emily stared at you for a minute. Your soapy head. Your arms crossed defiantly over your chest. The slight pouch in your stomach that she knew would grow into her child. The way your eyes shone, holding so much love, so much purity of spirit and heart. What had she done to deserve you? She felt tears forming at the corners of her eyes, and she used her thumb to wipe them away.

“Are you crying?!” you asked, leaning forward to take her hand in yours.

“I just love you so much,” she said, her voice heavy with emotion.

“Oh, god,” you complained, sniffling yourself. You had a hair trigger for crying these days. “If you cry I’m gonna cry.”

She exhaled firmly. “I’m pulling it together, don’t worry.”

“I love you, too,” you said quickly before dunking your head under the water to get rid of the suds. And because if you thought about it too much, you'd start sobbing and god knows when you'd stop.

You popped back up, flipping your hair over so you looked like a founding father. Emily laughed, and all was right in the world.

[bingwriterxo]

moth to a flame

pairing: amber freeman x reader, minor wes hicks x reader

summary: in which you get a new boyfriend, yet he's not who you really want

warnings: mentions of domestic violence, talks of homophobia, cheating

word count: 1000+

author's note: loosely based on 'moth to a flame' by swedish house mafia & the weeknd. writing mojo's back, babyyyy 🤠

“So,” Mindy started as she slammed her hands down on the lunch table, her eyes sparkling with an excitement that made Amber want to puke, “let’s talk about the happy, new couple!” She climbed into her seat and whipped her head around. “Coast is clear. Thoughts, everyone?”

Liv piped up first. “I think they’re adorable!”

“Yeah,” Chad agreed, grinning. “They’re cute together.”

“I’m just happy that Y/N is happy,” Tara said. She shrugged and added, as an afterthought, “Wes, too, I guess.”

Amber scoffed and crossed her arms, sitting up a little straighter when everyone looked at her. “Are you idiots blind? Wes is a pathetic excuse for a boyfriend.” She narrowed her eyes at her friends as disgust boiled beneath her skin. “He’s not nearly good enough for Y/N.”

Mindy rolled her eyes, sighing dramatically. “You don’t think anyone’s good enough for her, Amber. You said that about her last three boyfriends.”

Amber nodded. “Yeah, and I was right. They all ended up being abusive assholes.” Even just mentioning your ex-boyfriends left a bad taste in her mouth and ignited a murderous flame in her chest. Oh, what she’d give to teach all of them a lesson. 

“Okay,” Liv began, a little hesitant, “but we know Wes, and he’s good for her! He’s the sweet ‘boy-next-door’ type.”

“Yeah,” Tara said. “He’d never hurt a hair on Y/N’s head. Not like…” She trailed off, and the silence of the group spoke for itself. Amber clenched her jaw at the thought. “Besides, she was so happy to tell us about the relationship! They both were.” She reached out and placed a hand on her best friend’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. “She’s in good hands, Amber.”

“Yeah, right,” Amber muttered. “If he so much as touches her, I’ll--”

“Who’re you threatening today, Ambs?” Your teasing voice interrupted the girl’s warning, and she looked up at you, smiling, before her face fell upon seeing Wes beside you, a grin pulling at his own lips. She swore she could feel bile rise in the back of her throat when she realized that the two of you were holding hands. “Someone good, I hope,” you said, chuckling. 

You fell into the seat beside Mindy, greeting the rest of the table, and Wes was left to sit across from Amber, shifting uncomfortably beneath her stare. 

“Yeah,” Amber said, smirking at the blonde boy. “Someone real good.”

* * *

“Jesus Christ!” Amber groaned as she reached for her phone, which had been ringing non-stop for minutes. “Can’t a girl just get some sleep?” With her eyes half-closed, she answered the call, barking out, “What?” and almost immediately regretting it when your teary voice echoed through the phone. 

“Ambs,” you whispered.

She shot up, her eyes wide and worried, her heart pounding in her chest. “Y/N? Are you okay?”

“I--” You hesitated, and Amber could feel her stomach drop when you sniffled. “Can I come over? It’s my parents.”

Half of her wanted to snark, “Why don’t you call Wes?”, but the other half of her--the half she knew she’d listen to--just wanted to hold you in her arms and keep you safe. 

“Okay,” she said after a moment. “Come over.”

When you hung up, telling her you’d be there in ten minutes, Tara’s voice started to ring through her head: she’s in good hands, Amber. A small, tiny, minuscule part of her that she’d never admit existed almost felt bad for the boy. 

* * *

As soon as you arrived, you were crawling beneath Amber’s blankets and wrapping your arms around her waist, your face nuzzling into her neck as you inhaled her scent. She was holding you just as tightly, glad that your tears had subsided in the time it had taken for you to cross town. 

“You okay, baby?” Amber asked, her voice loud in the otherwise silent room. 

You hummed, shuffling even closer to her. “Better now,” you confessed. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You sighed deeply. “They’re just fighting again. It’s whatever.”

Amber hated when you did that--when you’d brush off the troubles that were going on at home, when you’d brush off your own feelings. Still, there was a flicker of pride in her chest that you had called her rather than Wes.

The two of you settled into comfortable silence for a few minutes, but after a while, Amber could no longer let sleeping dogs lie, and she piped up. 

“So, you and Wes.” Her face soured at the boy’s name, and she could feel you tense in her arms. “We should probably talk about that.”

“What do you want me to say?” you asked carefully.

“You like him?”

You sat up, and Amber immediately regretted saying anything at all, missing your warmth. “Can we not do this right now?”

She sat up, too, drawing her knees to her chest. “You called me; you were cuddling with me. I think we have to do this right now, Y/N,” she said, tilting her head. She scoffed when you stayed silent. “Of all the boys at Woodsboro, you had to choose one of our friends?”

“He’s safe, Amber. You saw what happened when I chose at random. You saw,” you said, your voice tight and shaky, and Amber glanced away, images of your bruised wrists flashing through her mind. “At least with Wes, I know he won’t hurt me.”

“Why do you have to choose a guy at all?” she asked. “We both know how you really feel, and you don’t feel anything for that boy.”

You hung your head. “I can’t come out,” you whispered. “You know that. You know what my parents would say, what they’d do.” You looked back up at her. “But you’re right: we both do know how I feel, what I feel.” You reached out, fingers skimming over her hand. “For you.”

Amber cursed the butterflies that stirred in her stomach at the touch and bit the inside of her cheek. “You know I already can’t stand Wes, and I really don’t care about his feelings, but if he finds out--”

“He won’t. They never do.” 

“But if he does--”

You interrupted her with a kiss, soft and sweet and loving, and when you pulled away, your forehead pressed against hers, you whispered, “He won’t.”

[butchyeons]

PLEASE write more sub/bottom jeongyeon PLEASE i want that butch obliterated

ask and you shall receive! congrats anon i am using this as a drabble request. lmao, hopefully you won’t mind. i’ve been wanting to write jeongsa for awhile now, so here it is. this will probably be up on ao3 at some point, too. we need more sub jeongyeon, so i hope you enjoy needy loser butch jeongyeon getting absolutely obliterated by her mean femme gf ❤️

party trick

college au jeongsa ig? it’s pure smut. also jihyo’s there for “plot” purposes :)

tags/warnings: mentions of alcohol/semi-drunk sex, pwp, semi-public sex (they’re in a bathroom), mommy kink, jeongyeon gets called puppy idk, verbal humiliation, dirty talk, exhibitionism, implied voyeurism, strap-ons, jeongyeon sucking off the strap. this is crazy icl.

cishet men and minors dni.

———

“Really, Jeongyeon?” Sana huffed out. “We’re at a party. People could catch us.”

The older girl let out a whine, continuing to pull Sana up the stairs. The two of them were at some party in some house on the other side of campus- one of Jihyo’s frat friends had invited them. Quite frankly, it shocked the two of them that they were even told about it. They were pretty well known as the college’s token lesbian couple; the weird-scary-butch music student who was “secretly a man”, and the pretty-ditzy fashion student who was “clearly confused about her sexuality”. They caught a lot of shit for it, tended to stay away from functions such as this one because of it. But hey, they’d never turn down free alcohol. So, after Jihyo begged them to come with her, to just put their resignations aside for a few hours, they did.

The night was fine, the party was booming. A lot of their friends were there, thankfully, which meant they didn’t have to socialize with the straight boys who clearly only wanted them there to watch them make out. There was free food, drinks, questionable music, and a place for them to dance, albeit poorly. What wasn’t to like? It was a good time, and they both needed a break, anyways.

The only problem now was that Jeongyeon was tipsy. And when Jeongyeon was in any way buzzed, she was needy. Not that Sana had an issue with it. She loved to spoil her girl, really. But that was in the sanctity of their own apartment, not some frat house full of a bunch of underage drunk college students puking their brains out.

“Sana- I don’t care.” Jeongyeon said as they got to the top of the stairs. Her words came out slurred, her cheeks bright red as she huffed, looking over at her girlfriend. “I know you wore it. I felt it when you were grinding against me earlier.”

Well. Maybe Sana did want something to happen. She wouldn’t have gone out packing if she didn’t.

“Just because I wore it doesn’t mean you were gonna get anything, Jeongie.”

Jeongyeon whined again, stomping off down the hallway. Sana followed closely behind her, making sure to watch carefully as Jeongyeon tried each and every door until finally, one opened. Before Sana had time to really say anything, the older girl had grabbed her wrist, pulling her inside.

“Please, Sana. I know you. You’re literally my girlfriend.” Jeongyeon huffed out indignantly as she closed and locked the door. “You want it just as bad as I do.”

Sana looked around, examining her surroundings. It was a tiny bathroom, but clearly one that multiple men shared. It was… Well, it was as clean as it possibly could be. Several cans of deodorant strewn across the countertop, toothbrushes everywhere, the vibrations of the music from downstairs causing them to shake with each bass thump. The shower curtain was half open, revealing a hoard of different 3-in-1 shampoo bottles. She was just grateful the toilet seat was closed, and that there was even a toilet brush next to it. Clearly, someone cared. Thank god they did.

However, this was still risky. They were in public- at a party they were clearly only invited to so a bunch of boys could gawk at them, in some sketchy bathroom that wasn’t theirs. Anyone could come up there and find them. Sana had half a mind to put her foot down, to take her girlfriend downstairs and trick her by giving her shots of water so she’d sober up faster; they could go back home and finish things there. But before she had any time to protest, Jeongyeon was already on her knees in front of her, haphazardly grabbing at the front of her skirt.

“I just don’t think we should do this here, baby.” Sana said, swatting at Jeongyeon’s hands.

Jeongyeon pouted again, leaning her head against Sana’s thigh.

“Please? ‘S your fault I’m needy. You wore it, you knew I’d want it…”

All of Sana’s reluctance went out the window the moment she looked down at Jeongyeon. She had the sweetest pout on her face, her bottom lip poking out just slightly so. Her big eyes were round with want, her cheeks still slightly red from the alcohol. She was adorable.

Sana wanted to ruin her.

“And I’ve been so good lately…” Jeongyeon added as she nuzzled her face against Sana’s thigh. “Please, mommy?”

God. She just couldn’t resist her sweet girl.

“Fine, fine- just…” Sana sighed. “You have to be quiet, okay? And we need to do this fast.”

Jeongyeon’s expression lit up.

“Thank you, thank you. I’ll be so good Sana- so good for you.”

Cute. And incredibly fuckable.

“I know you will, baby.” Sana whispered, running her fingers through Jeongyeon’s hair. “Always so good for me, hm?”

Jeongyeon nodded absentmindedly, going back to what she was doing before. She hooked her fingers under the waistband of Sana’s skirt, pulling it down. The outline of the strap was so clearly visible in the pair of safety shorts she was wearing in lieu of actual underwear, which made Jeongyeon chuckle.

“I don’t know how you even manage to hide that thing.” She muttered, pulling the shorts down, too.

“That’s for me to know, and for you to be the only one who gets to see.” Sana replied, kicking the offending fabric away.

Jeongyeon’s hazy eyes immediately focused on the toy. Sana had worn her favorite- a medium-sized, realistic looking one that matched her skin tone. It wasn’t extraordinary in any way, and they had other, much more fun toys, but it never failed to make Jeongyeon scream. Sana didn’t miss how her girlfriend quickly ran her tongue over her bottom lip, her expression completely blank with want. Her body trembled just slightly as she finally looked up at Sana, locking eyes with her.

She was being good. She was waiting for permission.

“Go on, baby.” Sana whispered. “Suck it.”

And Jeongyeon did. Within seconds, her mouth was on Sana, making a show of swirling her tongue around the head before taking the rest of it into her mouth. Even though Sana couldn’t actually feel it, the sight alone was enough to make her stomach tense up, a jolt of pleasure going straight to her core.

“Good girl.” Sana said, her hand finding the top of Jeongyeon’s hair, her fingers tangling into her freshly dyed blue locks. “Mommy’s good girl.”

She helped guide Jeongyeon up and down on the toy, resisting the urge to buck her hips. Jeongyeon’s moves were sloppy, still remotely tipsy as she worked, drool spilling out of the corner of her mouth as she stared up at Sana the entire time she sucked her off. It was gross, it was still so unsafe. At any point someone could absolutely be banging on that bathroom door, trying to get inside.

Sana loved all of it.

So yes, she did want something to happen. Maybe not this exact scenario, but something. It had been weeks since her and Jeongyeon had gotten to do anything, and honestly, Sana had planned to rail her brains out in the backseat of her car after they left. But this would work.

“Mommy…” Jeongyeon whined around the head, her mouth muffled from having the toy between her lips. “Need you in me…”

This would definitely work.

Sana finally pulled her off, a string of spit connecting Jeongyeon’s mouth to the toy. The older girl was looking at her with so much want, her expression dazed as she wiped the corner of her mouth with her sleeve. She adjusted herself so that she could press her thighs together, whimpering as she stared up at her girlfriend. Sana tried to ignore how the sight made her core ache, still wanting to get this done quickly.

“Alright, alright. You’ve been good, c’mon.”

Sana helped Jeongyeon to her feet, her hands immediately finding the buckle of her belt, making quick work of undoing it. She pressed a gentle kiss to Jeongyeon’s cheek, not wanting to smear her lipstick, before tugging her jeans and boxers down to her knees.

“Against the counter, baby. Show me that pretty ass of yours.” She whispered, her hand on Jeongyeon’s waist.

Jeongyeon just nodded absentmindedly, doing exactly what she was told. She held on to the edge of the countertop, leaning forward. Sana got behind her, her hand slipping down between her thighs, gently running her fingers through Jeongyeon’s folds. She gave her clit a few taps with her index finger before lazily circling it, making sure to focus on the sensitive spot under the hood. When Jeongyeon’s knees buckled slightly, she drug her finger down to her entrance, dipping it in just enough to tease the poor girl even more.

“Fuck, Jeongyeonie.” Sana taunted. “Already so wet for me.”

Jeongyeon just whined, looking back over her shoulder.

“N-Need you, please…”

It would be so easy to keep teasing her. It was fun to make Jeongyeon work for it- to have her broken before Sana ever even fucked her. But when she saw the look on Jeongyeon’s face, the sound of the loud music echoing up the stairwell and into the hallway, she remembered they really needed to get this done. Sana had no intention of denying her anything. Right then, she couldn’t. Even if she wanted to.

“I know, baby. I know.” Sana whispered, taking her hand away and finally lining the toy up with Jeongyeon’s entrance. “It’s okay. I’ll take such good care of you, puppy.”

Sana moved her hand to hold onto Jeongyeon’s hip, finally pressing the toy into her. A loud moan spilled out of the older girl’s mouth, and Sana’s grip tightened just a bit as she froze.

“Jeong- you need to be quiet. Or else you won’t get anything.”

Jeongyeon just bit her lower lip, nodding desperately. That was good enough for Sana, who took it as a sign to press herself in further. Jeongyeon leaned forward even more, giving Sana a better angle. The moment Sana was all the way in, Jeongyeon let out a sigh, her eyes falling shut as she pushed herself back against Sana, grinding against the toy. Normally Sana would’ve reprimanded her, reminded her that she would take what was given to her, but she’d give her a pass. For now, anyways.

“Feeling better, baby?” Sana cooed, gripping Jeongyeon’s hips tighter, but still not moving. “Such a little slut, couldn’t wait ‘til we got home?”

She’d play with her just a little, though.

Jeongyeon shook her head. Sana gave her a shallow thrust, pressing the toy impossibly deeper and earning a squeak from the older girl.

“N-No, couldn’t wait-” Jeongyeon whined. “Mommy, please-”

Sana cut her off by giving her another harsh thrust. Jeongyeon couldn’t help but grunt, whimpering as she fell forward onto her forearms. Sana finally took off, bucking her hips roughly, as fast as she possibly could. She watched Jeongyeon through the mirror, practically grinning at how her jaw would clench and release each time she pushed back in. It was the prettiest sight in the world, to her. The sounds of skin against skin filled the tiny bathroom, echoing over the music from below. Sana didn’t care at that point- she needed to absolutely ruin her girl.

“God, puppy, you’re so easy, y’know that?” Sana huffed out between thrusts. “So fucking- easy to get all worked up.”

Jeongyeon nodded, completely brainless as she groaned. Sana had no idea if it was the alcohol or the fact that she was being fucked, but either way, she was gone.

“So fun to play with.” Sana added, reaching up to grab Jeongyeon’s hair, pulling the shivering girl up. “So desperate to cum, aren’t you? That’s all you ever think about, isn’t it?”

“Y-Yes- fuck.” Jeongyeon croaked out. “All I want- wanna cum for you.”

Sana thrusted again, even deeper this time. Jeongyeon moaned unabashedly, arching back into Sana’s grip. Sana continued to hold her up by her hair, her other hand still hanging onto her hip. She dug her nails into the soft skin, earning yet another pathetic noise out of her girlfriend.

So much for getting this done quietly. Sana really didn’t give a single shit anymore, couldn’t. Even if she tried. And she was absolutely not trying.

“So fucking loud.” Sana hissed, her pace never letting up. “Bet you want us to get caught. I bet you’d love if someone walked in on us like this- you want everyone to see me ruining you, don’t you?”

Jeongyeon did her best to nod, her eyes still screwed shut.

“P-Please, I want- want everyone to know I’m your- your slutty little puppy. Hope all of them can hear me, hope they all know just how good you fuck me.”

Sana could really feel it then. She knew she was fucking dripping, felt the way her clit pulsed each time she fucked herself into Jeongyeon. And to hear that, on top of everything else? Oh, this was so much better than she ever could’ve imagined. To have Jeongyeon so willing to be ruined, to know she wants to be caught. To be absolutely railing her in some nasty frat boy bathroom, to know that those boys would never know what happened in there. Sana wondered if she’d finish without Jeongyeon ever even touching her. They’d never done anything like this before, so she had no idea how Jeongyeon felt about it. But fuck, was it good. They should go to parties more often.

She thrusted again, knowing she hit the spot that Jeongyeon loved the most just based on her reaction. The older girl cried out, her body practically going limp as Sana begin to focus on that spot, hitting it over and over and over again. Another whimper spilled from Jeongyeon’s lips as Sana finally let go of her hair, using that hand to reach around to her front, slipping it between her hips and the counter. She found Jeongyeon’s clit and quickly began rubbing tight circles into it, earning another languid sound out of her. Her knees buckled, her hips pressed back, her body falling back against Sana’s front right as she-

“Sana? Jeongyeon? Are you two up here?”

Both of them froze. They stared at each other in the mirror, horrified as they heard footsteps approaching.

“C’mon guys, I’m worried. You’ve been gone for so long.”

Jihyo.

Jeongyeon was the first to move, trying to pull away.

“Sana-”

Sana didn’t let her go.

“That’s not my name, puppy.”

Jeongyeon bit her lip, hard enough that Sana was almost concerned she’d break the skin. Her face was bright red, her expression pained. Sana cocked her head to the side, smirking as she rocked her hips again. Jeongyeon leaned forward, gripping the edge of the counter, doing her best to contain a whimper.

“W-What are you doing?” She whispered, her voice laced with panic.

“Thought you wanted to get caught, baby.” Sana replied, leaning forward so her lips were right next to Jeongyeon’s ear. “Or were you lying to me?”

Right as Sana bucked her hips again, there was a knock on the door.

“Sana, Jeongyeon- is that you guys?” Jihyo asked from the other side.

This made things so much more fun.

Jeongyeon pushed herself back up, her brows threading together at the sensation of Sana getting pushed deeper inside her because of the movement. Sana quickly reached up, cupping her mouth with one hand, her other hand starting to rub her clit again, even fucking harder than before.

“Yeah- sorry, Jeongyeon got sick.” Sana replied evenly, raising her voice just loud enough so Jihyo could hear. “We’ll be out in a few minutes.”

“Oh, oh god- do you need help?” Jihyo asked, concerned. She started to fidget with the doorknob. “Here, let me in-”

“No, it’s okay!” Sana replied, pressing her fingers down harder.

Jeongyeon’s body shuddered, a small squeak escaping her lips. Sana clamped her hand down even harder.

“Are you sure? Did she throw up or something?” Jihyo asked.

“Yeah- she drank too much. It’s okay though, promise! I’ve got it handled.” Sana answered, her voice still completely calm as she continued to work at Jeongyeon. “We’ll be out in a few minutes.”

By then, Jeongyeon’s eyes had rolled to the back of her head. Her body was completely limp as she laid against Sana, letting the younger girl do whatever she pleased. Each pass of her fingers over the sensitive nub caused Jeongyeon to tremble, her hips jerking, the toy that was still nestled inside her pressing even deeper. Jihyo was still standing at the door, the floor creaking each time she shifted her weight, seemingly unaware about what the two of them were actually doing. The whole scene was fucking absurd.

But clearly, Jeongyeon was enjoying this. And Sana was, too.

“I mean- I’ll just wait here until you’re done.” Jihyo said. “I can help if you need!”

Sana needed to push it even further.

“Jeongyeonie.” She whispered, just loud enough for only the two of them to hear.

Jeongyeon finally came to, blinking a few times before looking at her in the mirror again. She didn’t reply, couldn’t.

“You gonna cum just like this?” Sana murmured, smirking. “With my cock so deep in you while your best friend is right outside that door?”

Jeongyeon exhaled deeply, a moment passing before she nodded rapidly. Sana bucked her hips again, the hand that was still working at her clit pressing down even harder. The tiny bathroom was practically shaking from the music downstairs, just loud enough to muffle everything.

It was the perfect opportunity to test Jeongyeon’s limits.

“Bet you want her to see you like this, huh?” Sana pressed further. “Want her to watch as your mommy absolutely ruins you? Want her to know just how much of a disgusting little slut you really are?”

The faintest whine escaped Jeongyeon’s lips, her fists clenching at her sides, tears welling in her eyes as they fell closed again. Sana had her right where she wanted her.

“I could reach over and open that door right now, if I really wanted to. Let Jihyo watch you right as you broke. You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

Jeongyeon just kept nodding, grinding her hips back against Sana’s front. After a particularly harsh movement, she shuddered.

“C-Close.” She managed to whisper through gritted teeth, her voice still muffled by Sana’s hand. “Mommy, please let me cum. Please.”

So fucking filthy.

“Go ahead, baby.” Sana said, her voice coming out honey-sweet next to Jeongyeon’s ear. “Cum for me. And for her, too. Put on a show for us, puppy.”

Jeongyeon just kept nodding as she rocked her hips back in perfect timing with Sana’s fingers swiping under the hood of her clit. The sensation of it made Jeongyeon finally break, her jaw falling open in a silent scream as she trembled violently. Sana quickly moved her hand from her mouth down, wrapping it around her waist to keep her upright. Her other hand stayed pressed against the now very swollen bundle of nerves, rubbing gentle circles into it to help guide Jeongyeon through. Sana pressed a few kisses to the side of her face, not really minding the lipstick smears it left behind.

When Jeongyeon finally came back down to earth, her breath evening out and her body shuddering from the overstimulation, Sana pulled away. She finally stepped back, ungluing herself from the older girl as she slowly pulled the strap out of her. Jeongyeon did her best to hold back a whimper at the feeling, leaning forward to hold the countertop.

Talk about a show.

“So good.” Sana whispered, helping Jeongyeon get her clothes back on. “Did so good, Jeongie.”

Jeongyeon finally turned around, facing the younger girl. Her face and neck were red, her forehead covered in sweat, lipstick marks all over her cheek. She leaned back against the counter, a blissed out smile on her lips as she held her arms out for Sana. The whole scene was beyond cheesy, even for Sana’s hopelessly romantic self. But the moment Jeongyeon finally opened her now watery eyes, tilting her head to the side just like a little puppy expecting a treat, Sana couldn’t resist. She’d really never be able to resist her sweet girl.

She let Jeongyeon pull her in by her waist, trying her best to not let the stupid strap get in the way. Eventually she just gave up, choosing to settle between Jeongyeon’s legs, the toy awkwardly pressing against the older girl’s stomach. Both of them giggled softly as they kissed, Sana smiling brightly against Jeongyeon’s lips.

But, of course, the moment she opened her mouth to say something, that’s when Jihyo knocked on the door again. Go figure.

“Yah! Sana?” Jihyo asked. “You promise she’s alright?”

“She’s good, Ji! She’s so good!” Her voice dropped, low enough for only the two of them to hear, her thumbs coming up to wipe a few lingering tears away from the corners of Jeongyeon’s eyes. “So, so good.”

“Alright.” Jihyo said, clearly annoyed. “I’m gonna go wait downstairs. Nayeon wants to leave when you two get back, but take your time.”

“We’ll be down in a few minutes!” Sana said, cupping Jeongyeon’s face in her hands as she ran her thumbs across the apples of her cheeks. “Just need some time alone, okay?”

“Whatever you say, girl.” Jihyo said, her voice a bit distant, as if she was facing away from the door. “I’d have left her to die, personally.”

Jeongyeon couldn’t help but snort. Sana rolled her eyes.

“And that’s why you’re the best friend and I’m the girlfriend, Park Jihyo!”

“Yah! As if I’d ever want to date that!” Jihyo argued back. There was a small sigh from the other side of the door. “You’re a saint, really, Sana. You’re really good to her.”

Sana looked up at Jeongyeon with a soft smile. The older girl just nodded before leaning in to peck her lips again. A few moments passed before, finally, Jihyo walked away. Sana and Jeongyeon both let out the breath they’d been holding for what felt like hours, sighing with relief as they held each other.

“How you feeling?” Sana whispered, laying her head against Jeongyeon’s shoulder.

“Incredibly sober.” She answered dryly. “But good. That was… Fun. Very fun.”

“You seemed to really enjoy it, baby.” Sana teased, earning a small noise of protest from her girlfriend. “We’ll have to have a talk about all of that later. Didn’t know you had all that in you.”

“God- I know, I know. Really, I didn’t know I did.” Jeongyeon huffed out, wrapping her arms around Sana’s waist even tighter than before. “And frankly, I didn’t know you did, either.”

Jeongyeon shifted just a bit, grimacing.

“I’m gonna be sore for days.”

“Aw, but you like that.”

“I do. Only for you, though.”

Sana looked up at her, squinting.

“Better not be for anyone else.” She said, her cheeks puffed out with a pout. “You’re mine, Jeongyeonie.”

Jeongyeon just smiled, rolling her eyes.

“I’m yours. No one else’s.”

They kissed a few more times before Sana finally pulled away, reminding Jeongyeon that they had to leave. And, reminding her that they were very much not finished. Jeongyeon awkwardly stared at the floor, her cheeks turning red when Sana casually guided one of her hands down between her thighs, allowing her to feel just how wet she was. Jeongyeon repeatedly reassured her she’d handle it the moment they got home as she took the toy out of the harness and washed it in the sink. Sana stayed pressed against her back the entire time, watching her work.

It was cute how embarrassed Jeongyeon got after everything was said and done. She whined when Sana looked over her shoulder, told her to go away, tried to make it so Sana couldn’t see what she was doing. It was adorable. Her big, strong butch that was secretly the neediest person on the whole planet. No one got to see that side of her, only Sana. And Sana loved her more than anything or anyone else.

The two of them slightly panicked when they couldn’t find anything to dry the toy off with. Sana started opening cabinets, thankfully stumbling across a roll of paper towels underneath the sink. They awkwardly dried the toy off, putting it back in the harness, and Sana turned around so Jeongyeon couldn’t see her tucking the toy back into her shorts. The older girl whined, wanting to know how Sana did it, but Sana just shooed her away as she finally pulled her skirt back up. She had her secrets, always had to keep Jeongyeon guessing, after all.

“You have to act like you were in here puking when we go back downstairs.” Sana said as she took a wet paper towel to Jeongyeon’s cheek, wiping the lipstick stains off. She ran her hand through Jeongyeon’s hair, ruffling it just a bit. “Good thing you already look a little disheveled.”

“Hey-” Jeongyeon pouted. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means-” Sana said as she threw the paper towel away. “You look fucked out, baby.”

Jeongyeon mashed her lips together, her cheeks turning red as she looked down at the floor. There was no way in hell she was gonna let this incident go, but she’d teased enough already. They had other things to be doing, anyways.

“It’s cute.” Sana said, cupping Jeongyeon’s cheek. “You’re cute.”

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.”

She smiled softly.

“I love you. Thanks for this.”

“I love you, too.” Sana replied, patting down her skirt before giving herself one last look over in the mirror.

Before she could say anything, Jeongyeon had already pulled her lipstick out of the pocket of her jeans. She silently handed it over to Sana, who quickly reapplied it, making sure she looked remotely decent. The moment she put the cap back on, Jeongyeon was already taking it back from her, sliding it back into her pocket (with the rest of Sana’s “necessities”) for safekeeping.

Jeongyeon was just as good to her, really. So, so good.

“You know I’ll always take care of you, baby.” She said, finally turning around and nudging Jeongyeon’s shoulder. “Now c’mon. You owe me big time for this little stunt.”

Jeongyeon couldn’t argue with that. In fact, she had other ideas of what she could be doing instead- ones that would be way better done in their own bed back at their place. Sana gave her a quick kiss before finally pulling her out of the bathroom, the sounds of the party becoming much more clear and bright as they stepped into the hallway. There were cheers of students clearly playing some game, the sound of music and laughter spilling up the stairs. Sana gave Jeongyeon one last look, smiling coyly. Jeongyeon shook her head incredulously before going to lean on Sana’s shoulder, making sure they’d be able to fake their way out of anyone questioning if she was really sick or not.

So maybe frat parties weren’t that bad. If it meant they’d get to do that again, they’d definitely be going. For the free booze, they’d say. But hopefully no one would ever find out why they were really there.

[narumi-gens]

Drunk Mind, Sober Heart

Miya Atsumu x gn!Reader

summary: They say that drunk words are sober thoughts. Unfortunately for you, that means Atsumu is about to find out about your big, embarrassing secret.

warnings: pure fluff, reader is a drunk mess, mention of vomiting and alcohol, husband!atsumu, established relationship, you and atsumu are simps for each other

notes: we’re back on the haikyuu train! I’m actually not sure if I like this but just wanted to get it out of my wips since it was already 75% written.

words: 1.2k

minors, ageless, and blank blogs do not interact

Atsumu hadn’t left you alone for long, just long enough to grab his phone charger from the nightstand. He was gone for a minute, maybe two. What could go wrong in a minute?

Apparently a lot. 

You’re still in the same spot that he left you. You’re still curled up on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. You’re still clutching tightly onto the pillow he gave you to keep you from being too uncomfortable on the hard tile. 

But when he left, you were completely passed out, drunkenly snoring and giving him a short break from “rubbing your back and making sure that you’re throwing up in the toilet and not on the floor” duty.

Now, you’re sobbing loudly into your pillow as you lay in a puddle of water, having knocked over the uncapped bottle he had set aside for you. 

The sight instantly has him panicking, dropping his charger onto the counter and kneeling down next to you in the puddle. He picks up the bottle and sets it aside, not that doing so is much use considering most of the water is now on the bathroom floor.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he tries to gently shush you. “What’s wrong? Do ya gotta puke again?”

It seems to be the wrong question to ask because it only has you crying harder. 

“Baby, it’s okay,” he assures you, running his hand soothingly up and down your side. 

“S’not!” you wail and Atsumu finds himself impressed by his own sense of hearing to have been able to comprehend what you’re saying through your sobs.

“Yeah, it is. C’mon, it’s alright,” he says, still doing his best to try and talk you down. “What’s wrong? Let me help.”

“No!” you continue to protest, burying your face even further into your pillow. Your sobs have devolved into loud, pathetic hiccups. “Don’t wanna tell you. S’embarrassing…”

“Ya don’t gotta feel embarrassed!” he says. “At least ya puked in the bushes and not in the Uber. Yer ahead of me on that one.”

“No! S’not that!” you argue, looking up from your pillow to give him a pitiful glare that makes you look like an angry kitten. Atsumu is overcome with the urge to grab his phone so he can take a picture but knows that it would send you into another fit of sobs.

“Then what is it?” he asks patiently and you flop onto your back, your head resting on your pillow as you frown at the ceiling. 

“M’embarrassed,” you sniffle, tears continuing to leak from your eyes. 

“Baby, about what?”

Your features scrunch together unattractively before you cover your face with your hands. 

“I’m so in love with you that it’s embarrassing!” you cry, your voice muffled, and Atsumu is at a loss at your…confession. It takes a moment before he knows how to respond.

“…we’ve been married fer two years,” he says slowly, his eyebrows furrowing together. “I would hope ya love me.”

“You don’t get it!” you whine, dropping your hands and doing your best to sit up and face him, although you end up needing to rest your entire weight on the toilet. “It’s like I have this huuuuge crush on you.”

He can feel the grin threatening to break out across his lips and quickly bites down on the inside of his cheek before it can. Instead, he reaches out a hand to affectionately play with the ends of your hair only for you to weakly slap him away.

“Sometimes when you send me a text saying you love me, I squeal into a pillow,” you softly tell him through sniffles, big fat tears rolling down your cheeks. “And sometimes I just look through my pictures of you and get all flustered.”

The grin he was trying so hard to hold back begins to peek through and he has to slap a hand over his mouth to hide it. Thankfully, you’re too drunk to notice. 

“And it’s so embarrassing to be such a mess in front of my crush,” you pout before wiping your messy face with the back of your wrist, not that it really does any good.

“Ya don’t gotta feel embarrassed about any of it,” he repeats with a fond look. “If anything, this makes me love ya even more.”

Your expression finally seems to soften, your drunken angst beginning to fade into something much more shy.

“Really?” you ask through another sniffle.

“Yeah, I promised to love ya in sickness and in health, didn’t I?” he smiles and you giggle.

But before he can make a dumb joke about drunkenness being the worst kind of sickness out there, a look that he’s become only too familiar with over the last few hours crosses your face. You rush to turn away from him and he’s back on “rubbing your back and making sure that you’re throwing up in the toilet and not on the floor” duty.

The next morning sees you doing better, but not by much. The lights in the apartment are all off and the blinds on all of the windows are closed. The only source of light comes from the tv, which is quietly playing some trashy reality show that’s ostensibly about selling real estate but is actually about who’s sleeping with the owner of the brokerage. 

The duvet from your bed is wrapped around you like a burrito as you’re laid out pathetically on the couch with a sports drink clutched tightly in your grip like a lifeline. You’re grateful that Atsumu keeps so many of them in the refrigerator and you swear to yourself that you won’t make fun of him anymore for how much space they take up.

You’re roused from wallowing over your pitiful state when you hear the front door opening and you slouch further into the couch. But when Atsumu finally appears around the corner, your face lights up as you see that he’s proudly holding up a takeout bag coated in grease stains. 

“I got ya just what the doctor prescribed,” he grins and you sit up as best you can with the blanket wrapped so tightly around you. 

“Oh, you’re a godsend,” you moan as you grab the bag from his hands. You open it and happily inhale the scent of the burger and fries inside. 

He preens at your praise and lifts your legs so that he can sit down beside you before setting them down in his lap. You’re too busy shoveling the fries into your mouth to even care. But after a few minutes, you feel his gaze on you.

When you look up, you freeze at the sight of him watching you with big heart eyes and a wide, dopey grin. 

“What?” you ask him through an unattractive mouthful of half-eaten fries. 

“Nothin’,” he shrugs. However, the look on his face says anything but and your eyes narrow suspiciously. “Just, I heard from a little birdie that ya got a pretty big crush.”

Your hand pauses in mid-air, halfway to shoving another handful of fries into your already full mouth. Atsumu’s grin grows wider at your reaction.

“Y’know, I got a pretty big crush too.”

All you can do is mutter in embarrassment what he thinks is, “shut up,” but sounds like “shha amph,” as you refuse to meet his gaze and Atsumu feels his crush on you growing bigger, even as he laughs obnoxiously in your face. 

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Leads Sister-in-Law! 

1  2  3  4  5  6  7

Chapter 8

‘Slight’ Yandere! Dion Agriche x Fem! Reader 

Arranged marriage AU

Warnings: panic attack, vomit, self-harm (biting thumb hard enough until it bleeds), slight blood, mention/allusions to murder, very slight suicide  ideation, one (1) suggestive line, implied child abuse, Maria being lowkey creepy (again), uncertainty about loving future kids, please tell me if I missed any.

NOTE: while I am happy that people enjoy this story, please stop blowing up my inbox about when the next chapter(s) will come out. Or telling me I should hurry up.  Thank you.

NOTE #2: there isn't going to be any romance involving Roxana or any of the other characters and the reader.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE HARMFUL AND/OR DANGEROUS/TOXIC ACTIONS THAT MAY TAKE PLACE IN THIS PIECE OF FICTION. THESE ACTIONS/BEHAVIORS SHOULD NOT BE NORMALIZED NOR ROMANTICIZED AS THEY ARE BOTH EXTREMELY TOXIC AND DANGEROUS.

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS/ BLOGS THAT DO NOT INTERACTION WITH NOR REBLOG FANDOM STUFF DNI (MAYBE ANIMAL BLOGS ARE OKAY BECAUSE THEY’RE CUTE). PLEASE DO NO NOT SPAM LIKE MY POSTS.

= = = 

Roxana’s heels clack against the tiled hallway as she glides through, making way to her room. Blond waves gently bouncing with each step, the girl can’t hold back the scowl that tears at her lips. Brows furrowed, her thoughts were full of the recent events - the dinner. 

She didn’t mean to intrude. As a matter of fact, while curious, she had no intention of doing more than taking a quick glance - to see if what Jeremy said was true, that Dion Agriche was indeed having dinner with his poor, pitiful bride. 

Jeremy got there before her.

Hiding within the shadows, the boy was glaring daggers into the second eldest son. So engrossed with the scene presented to him, Jeremy didn’t notice Roxana as she got closer and closer. No, the brash boy had announced himself before she could even pat his shoulder. Like a wild boar, he interrupted your dinner, uncaring for how it made him look. Not that he ever did.

And perhaps out of pity on your behalf, or sick curiosity to see how everything pans out, she showed herself as well. 

An hour prior to the incident Roxana and Jeremy talked about you, the newest family member. She wasn’t the one who brought you up, but rather Jeremy. Her younger half-brother had asked her what she thought about the situation. It was the first time he asked. 

‘Well… It is strange. I thought that father would have waited longer before finding Dion a wife, much less holding the wedding.’

‘Yeah,’ Jeremy agrees, a borderline sneer on his face, ‘but it’s stupid. She won’t last long.’ 

‘Shorter than a month?’

‘No, longer. But I’m not sure how much longer. Still, to be married to that bastard… She's fucked. Pretty sure she’s begging God to kill her already, or to keep him away and indifferent.’ 

The blond beauty stared at her brother in question. ‘This isn’t like you, Jeremy. Did you meet her before or is it because Dion is the one involved?’ 

He doesn’t answer immediately, grumbling out words she didn’t catch. ‘Watch, she’s going to puke in disgust soon.’ Blue eyes narrowing in annoyance, Roxana only becomes more confused. What’s with this sudden interest with a sacrificial bride? 

‘Jeremy,’ she says, gingerly patting his head, ‘This is the first time you’ve shown interest in anyone. Why is that?’ Asking him directly, she hopes that she’ll easily draw answers from him. But, for once, he doesn’t budge. It’s concerning. 

‘Xana, I heard they’re going to have dinner together later today. Do you think that guy will show up?’ Ignoring her question, he asks his own. A frown tugs at her coral lips. But seeing how aggravated he is, she decides to humor him. Just this once. 

‘I’m not sure. If it was on father’s orders, then yes, of course. His word is law.’ 

‘What makes you so sure he’ll listen to all?’

She blinks at him, taken aback. It wasn’t often she gets rendered speechless, especially by her own younger brother. But his response also amuses her - hearing his resentment towards the twenty-year-old was always amusing.. 

‘Xana, he’s crazy. It’s only going to get worse.’

Before Roxana could respond, she got called away to Lant’s office, the butler bowing nervously after he brought the news. 

Returning to the present, the blond lets out a deep sigh, a headache forming the longer she thinks about it. This wasn’t how the story went. There wasn’t a grand wedding for any of the Agriche family members - the closest thing was when Jeremy kidnapped Sylvia, and even then, that couldn’t be considered romantic.  

Nothing in the story was romantic. 

…not like her brother’s marriage to you was either. 

Nothing made sense and it’s bothersome. Concerning even, for the moment you entered this play, she became unsure of when or if Cassis will show up - what if nothing follows the storyline at all, no matter how small? She knows he exists, she saw him at the wedding. Shining silver hair that reminds her of the moon and golden eyes that were filled to the brim with caution towards her family and the wedding, the male lead of this story exists. 

But you didn’t. 

Maybe in the original work, you did, as a nameless background character. Faith unknown and unimportant, you somehow stumbled across the stage, entangled in strings that now control your every move. It worries her - you worry her. Roxana can’t tell if you’re friend or foe, if you’ll survive and stay sane, if you’ll die soon, if she should consider taking you under her wing, seeing how you were nothing more than a victim. 

But she doesn’t have that luxury. Ensuring her own survival was hard enough - how could she take care of a second person? Why should she bother herself with you? 

You don’t serve any other purpose than being arm candy, a woman seen as nothing more than an incubator by your father-in-law. She doubts Dion cares for you; during the planning period he didn’t act out of character. He acted the same around her, still the annoying son of a bitch he’s always been. 

…but, a few days before the wedding he kept his distance. Unconcerned with her presence, he made a few last minute purchases. Away from the prying eyes of Lant, Dion also added a secret guest - the doctor known as Ash Katopodis. 

She heard a rumor that he also sent the redhead to you instead of the doctor Lant had appointed. The fifteen-year-old had found it strange once word reached her ears, brushing it to the side after concluding it was gossip for gossip sake. While it was bold of the servants to say such things, Roxana saw no point in punishing them for their senseless rumors - it had nothing to do with her. If they wanted to play with their lives with risky talk, then that was on them.

Upon reaching her room, she stops short of opening the door, manicured nails tapping against the door handle. She didn’t mean to intrude on your alone time with the brute. Yet she did and the sight of Dion in such a domestic setting made her sick. 

Disgust threatening to tip over the scale, it’s hard for her not to sneer at the mere memory of it. Domesticity does not suit Dion. He does not deserve it. Playing house with an unwilling girl, dressed in pure white as the veil hid her anxiety and fright laid within her eyes and painted on her lips. Scared and left hopeless as her family watched as she kissed the monster, powerless.

The holy church in which the wedding was held became corrupted when the second Lant Agriche picked it out, Maria fussing over the details. Who sits where, ‘gently’ probing your mother into agreeing with the dress the third wife had picked, your makeup and hairstyle, the fucking lingerie until Sierra pointed out how weird it was for the mother-in-law to pick out such an erotic and intimate thing for the girl who was to be her daughter-in-law. 

During the ceremony, Jeremy had kept mumbling to himself, clearly done with the whole ordeal. Obviously, Roxana was as well, but kept a pretty smile on, greeting you after the vows were said and said her goodbyes as you were dragged away to the bridal chamber. Only to find the morning after by Hana that you didn’t go there, instead led into the lion’s den that is Dion’s room.

How… odd. 

No… what was odder was that you didn’t have separate rooms. Emily had told her as such out of the blue, preparing her breakfast. She questioned it then, and it’s only weirder, more worrisome the longer she thinks about it.

She shakes the memories away. It wasn’t her life. She had enough trouble on her plate already - she couldn’t possibly add you to the list of her neverending responsibilities she’s forced to juggle. She could pity you, but never love you. Touch you but never hold you. Talk to you but never make a genuine connection as sisters should. 

She should stop with this foolish nonsense. 

Turning the handle, she glides right in, letting the door shut behind her. Emily had retired for the night, and the blond also ordered Hana to do the same. After all, Lant had given Dion another mission, and the favorite son had to prepare to leave in the morning, too busy to bother you. 

… why am I so focused on her…?

The moonlight lights up her room through the glass doors that lead to the terrace. With a huff, she sits in her vanity, and starts to remove her makeup with removal cream. It’s greasy as her dainty fingers spread it across her face, each action copied by the mirror. It’s quiet.

Her thoughts refuse to shut up, however. 

‘What’s going on with Lant…? Choosing a daughter-in-law from a nearly unheard of family? Do they have something he wants and only used this marriage  as a means to get closer? Most likely, but why?’

A frown tugs at her lips, face completely bare after she pats it down with a face towel. Ruby eyes stare into the reflection before her, and Roxana only sees frustration and confusion. She can��t rely on her memories of the story anymore. 

She won’t be sure until the faithful day when her father kidnaps Cassis Pedelian, the Blue Heir. And even then, how could she be sure that it would be the same Cassis Pedelain that was mentioned in the novel? The same goes for his sister, Sylvia. 

“...things are getting complicated.” Standing, her feet take her to the bed and she lays on it, back pressed against the mattress. The crystal chandelier sparkles in the moonlight. Ruby optics disappear behind her eyelids, blond lashes casting shadows on skin. The night is still young. 

A small smile of amusement forms on her lips when she remembers your earlier conversation. You had called her an interesting person - far from what others say. They called her lovely, a Goddess of beauty - and you? 

You called her interesting.

Still, you couldn’t hide the admiration for her in your eyes. You weren’t a stumbling fool and understood what her look meant when Jeremy went too far. But the most fascinating thing?

You listened to mental caution and drew a line, uncomfortable with her, with them, the gears turning in your head on what to do next. You even separated yourself from her without hesitation once the moment presented itself.

Regardless, you admired her in spite of your clear discomfort. 

“...I must be tired.” 

You called her an interesting person. In return, she’ll call you a fool. 

- - -

His side of the bed was cold, patting it as your bleary eyes and murky mind clear up. Still dressed in the half undone dress and corset, you ignore how uncomfortable it is. No, right now, what you are focused on is the way your beating heart is thrashing against your rib cage, how cold your body has become, beads of sweat building and rolling down your temples, on the verge of gasping for air. Did you just fuck yourself over? 

You don’t know what time it was - sun high in the bright, blue sky, birds singing their lovely tunes. The occasional footsteps passing by, the far off voices as the servants go about their business. None of them knock on the door. None come to ‘wake’ you up.

Or, if they had, it must have been a good while ago. Were you so deep asleep that they gave up?

“...He’s going to kill me, isn’t he… hah…” a humorless laugh passes through your chest, shoulders slumping as nothing but regret fills your head and chest. Are you going to be killed today? Or maybe tortured? Thrown out like disgusting leftovers? 

You don’t want to die. Ah, but what could you possibly do? Get on your hands and knees like a dog and beg for forgiveness? …no. You’re already pathetic enough, you don’t want to lower yourself even more. Fuck. 

“...Ah, fuck, what should I do?” Putting your thumb sideways in your mouth, your teeth clamp down on the poor digit. The taste of iron explodes in your mouth, teeth marks left behind on the now wounded and bleeding flesh. 

A throbbing headache decides to join, adding physical pain to the list of your suffering. You bite down on your thumb harder. It feels like it might just snap in two but your mind is too fried to realize this. The only thing you can think about is last night. 

Your husband was gone. Where did he go? Maybe he decided to leave you, seeing you as a broken toy he doesn’t want anymore. Does that mean he’ll give the least back to Lant? Is that why he isn’t here? To discuss how to dispose of you? 

The thought makes your stomach churn, saliva glands overfilling as bile starts to raise. You were given to them as a pet - as some twisted sacrifice, and for what? Did this family want nothing else but a new ‘toy,’ to see how long a normal person would last within these walls? What then?

If they decide to kill you, or if you kill yourself out of desperation, what would they tell your parents? No, they wouldn’t tell them anything to begin with. 

And your family wouldn’t be able to ask.

“Urk…” dry heaving, slapping your hand over your mouth, panicked tears forming. Your entire body shakes, blood staining the bed as your injured hand grasps at the sheets. “URK!” Without a thought you rush out of bed, slamming yourself down on your knees as you reach the trash can. All of your stomach continents come up, the foul taste of vomit coming forth. 

Hot tears run down your cheeks as you heave over the trash, blurring your vision. You’re breathing too heavily. You look at the door a few feet away from you. If anyone was right outside it, they would have heard you. 

“...” you wait for a knock or for someone to burst through the doors with bated breath, your eyes shaking in their sockets, knees throbbing after the harsh impact. No-one comes. It is only you - alone in this room, a sinner who is paying the price. Must you go through this for a sin you’ve forgotten until now? 

The answer is yes. 

The answer is yes as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. The answer is yes as you force yourself to stand, knees painfully throbbing as the flesh bruises. The answer is yes as your thumb still bleeds, teeth marks engraved into the skin. The answer is yes as your heart refuses to calm down, chest hurting. 

The answer is yes as you walk over to the vanity, the reflection of a face that doesn’t look like your own. 

You are a mess. 

The tears don’t stop flowing as the urge to vomit returns. Crystalline droplets catch on your lashes, ugly sobs and hiccups breaking out, your shoulders shaking as you collapse onto the leather stool seat. A sinner always pays the price. 

You bury your face into your hands, entire body jerking with each sob, each hiccup as anxiety for the future and present overtakes everything. This isn’t like you. But you were never strong enough to survive in an environment like this. You were pathetic. 

Seconds turn into minutes and maybe even into hours. Time is a concept that you don’t bother yourself with by the time you finally calm down, red puffy eyes staring into the mirror as the tear streaks dry on your cheeks. Some snot peeks out from your nostril, hair a mess, clothes crumbled and sliding down, showing more of your cleavage. Such an unsightly sight. 

Grabbing a face towel on the vanity desk, you wipe off the tears and snot.

“...Okay. Let’s… get cleaned up.” Your limbs feel heavy, dragging your feet towards the closet before finally, finally striping out of your clothes from yesterday. The articles of clothing pools at your feet. 

How much longer can I last here? 

Will there ever be a peaceful divorce? Can I divorce him? Would I be able to?

If the story events do take place and Roxana takes over the Agriche family… by then… would I have children…?

BAM!

Your poor knees-! At the thought of having children - his children - your body just gives up again, as always. That’s the only thing you’re capable of, as experience has shown. 

“...children… right, children… I have to give that man kids… kids that will go through the same thing he went through…” Will you be able to love them, if they come into existence? You have to, they would be yours.

Or would you end up just like Jeremy’s mother? Horrified at the sight of her own child, refusing to spend time with them. Seeing them as an irredeemable monster that you would do anything and everything to avoid?

Chomp. 

Your thumb once again becomes a victim to your teeth, the imprint becoming deeper and drawing more blood.  It hurts, it hurts, it hurts- but as the thought of starting a family with Dion Agriche deepens, the more you need to find something sturdy. Your thumb is enough to keep you grounded, yes, it is, and no, you’re not planning an early funeral, visualizing the area you want to hold it, or the dress your cold corpse would wear, or your family’s crying faces -

No, stop it. This isn’t - this isn’t… this isn’t what I want to be.

 Licking the flesh wound, accepting the taste and smell of iron, you are not met with clarity nor bravery; just, temporary acceptance. This is your life. This was what the Gods had planned for you. This is what you have become - a wife to the future Black Agriche Heir. 

His first wife.

Despite the blood and saliva, your mouth feels dry. Nausea builds back up, gagging and breath becoming short. It’s becoming hard to breathe. 

Your lungs are being squeezed, throat constricted with an invisible ball gag - vision blurred with what? What’s this hot liquid running down your cheeks? Are you crying ? Again?

Something is choking you. Your head is starting to feel fuzzy, a pounding in your chest you can’t get. Everything is warped, shapes turning into mush, black merging with white, a hammer bashing against your head. Only the sound of rushing blood and a running heart is heard. Only the thought of death remains. 

“No…no, I - I - this-!” you curl into yourself, kneeling as your forehead touches the floor, hands interlocked around your head as your lower arms and elbows rest on the tiles. Sobbing violently, your mind crashes again. You were never strong. 

Not then, not now. 

- - -

“Young Master Dion has been sent off on an errand; the dinner with Master Lant has been postponed until tomorrow, at six o’clock.” Hana informs you as she sets out your breakfast: oatmeal and water. Just what your now very sensitive stomach and nerves need. Did she overhear your little mental breakdown not even an hour ago? Or was this the usual breakfast for the residents of the Agriche compound? 

“I see.” You hoarsely reply, voice still recovering. This is a good thing - you don’t have to see the devil’s face for yet another day. Her news also answers your question; Dion is out on an errand and they weren’t planning to axe you. Yet. Hopefully never. 

Still, the curiosity of your husband’s duties lingers. You shouldn’t involve yourself anymore than what you currently are. Curiosity always kills the cat. So, you bite your tongue, deciding against asking her what your oh so lovely husband’s chore is… but, if you are to play the role as a wife, his wife, should you ask him once he returns? Like how one would greet their spouse once they return from work. 

Hello dear… ick, no. Hey, how was your day… no, next. Are you tired? Do you want a bath…?

Or maybe you should just ignore the subject all together. His business isn’t yours, so why bother?

Besides, what if he doesn’t like you ‘snooping’ in his business? But at the same time, he’s been acting so weird and unlike how he was portrayed in the story. So while that Dion would find your questions annoying or useless, this Dion may want you to ask about his day. Fuck, it’s all so confusing and irritating 

 “Hm. Hana, is there anything on today’s schedule?” 

“No, not yet my Lady.” 

Not yet. What does she mean by not yet? Does that mean she’s aware that someone will interrupt your tiny bit of peace at some point today? Her short dark brown hair slightly bounces as she shuffles her weight onto one leg. “However, my Lady, I could… tell them that you’re recovering from ‘last night.’”

Her suggestion makes your grip on the cup loose, dropping the glass onto your lap as water soaks it. 

“My Lady! Are you alright?” In a panic, Hana grabs some of the napkins on the table and pats your lap to soak up some of the water after removing the now empty glass. “My apologies - I shouldn’t have brought up such a vulgar suggestion…” Her once collected face and behavior shatters at the drop of a hat, ‘concerned’ about your safety. 

Or was it for hers? 

“I-it’s fine… no worries,” a tight lipped smile that only makes her brows furrow more and treats you gentler. Like you were made of glass. Well, that wouldn’t be too far from the truth… 

“No, really. I just need to change clothes…” Once she’s done with soaking most of the water up you stand and walk to the closet. Opening the doors you skim over the options. Hana’s footsteps stop right behind you. Why is it so hard to have personal space in this place…

Your gaze travels upwards and for the first time, do you notice the Agriche family's crest engraved into the wood. Bitterness explodes in your mouth. It seems that no matter where you are in this place, there will always be a physical reminder of where you are - of who you belong to. No matter, you tell yourself. Besides, this isn’t even your room - 

It was your husband’s. And maybe after a month, if not less, into your marriage, you’ll be assigned your own. …why were you sharing a room with him to begin with? Probably to increase the chances of conceiving a child sooner rather than later. 

“... does that even make sense?” you murmur in amusement. Lant wasn’t even dead yet. But, you think, maybe he wanted his son to have a child so he could start to shape them into this tainted and sadistic mold ahead of time before he kicks the bucket. To ensure that the child - your child - would follow in their father’s footsteps. 

To see if they would carry the same air and expectations as your husband does. 

How cruel. 

“Hana, I’ll let you choose it; they’re all so… beautiful that I can’t choose.” In reality you’re getting a headache from looking at the family crest. Which just became yours. 

“...yes, my Lady,” she follows your order without question, going through the options. 

Not even a few minutes later she pulls one out. 

It matches your husband’s eyes. A brilliant shade of scarlet, it practically glows. A sheer black neck piece that forms as a choker and covers your cleavage but leaves your shoulders bare. Black lace is on the hem, flowers engraved into the pattern. The body of the dress is a solid scarlet. 

“It’s beautiful.” You compliment her choice of style hiding how the beautiful piece of clothing makes your fingers twitch and brings the urge to vomit forward. Oh, how horrible it is, to not even be able to enjoy such a sight. 

How horrible it is, to be born into this world after a helpless first life only to repeat the cycle, but worse. 

[gumisgirlfriend]

CHAPTER 1:: black-haired angel

SUMMARY:: you get invited by your best friend nobara to your first college sorority party, and after being harassed by a college student, a black-haired stranger swoops in to your rescue.

PAIRING:: fem!reader x college au/stoner megumi fushiguro

WARNINGS:: MINORS DNI or you will be #blocked, underage drinking/use of alcohol, mention of weed, possible tw for sexual harassment?

A/N:: i just love love love posting out of the blue 😊 anyways y’all here’s a new series i’m gonna be working on :3 i hope i wrote my pookie well!!!

To your surprise, a classmate of yours had invited you to your first college party. You had decided to major in fashion design, which is how you met your new best friend and upperclassman Nobara Kugisaki, who was a part of one of the campus’s prestigious sorority houses. Of course, you had never been to a college party before, since this was your first year in college, but you decided to attend even though it made you terribly anxious.

“You know how crazy these parties can get, right?” your dorm mate Maki grumbles, helping you to zip up the back of your dress.

“I’ll be fine, I think.” you say bashfully, shifting in your uncomfortably tight dress. Since you didn’t have anything nice, your new best friend offered to lend you one of her more expensive dresses, which fit you just barely. It was awfully small, and reached just to your mid thigh, pastel pink silk, with a ribbon cinching the waist. you take a deep breath, jittery with anxiousness for later.

Maki places a comforting hand on your shoulder, “Just try to be safe, hun. We won’t be able to keep an eye on you the entire time.” she says, patting you on the back gently before going to go pull on a pair of sneakers.

That definitely doesn’t help soothe your nerves. You ignore her comment, gazing into the mirror and sighing heavily. “Hair up or down?”

You approach the front door of the sorority house, which is left wide open, and you can hear the sound of cheers and music and feel the scent of alcohol burn in your nose. Maki smiles warmly at you, “Just let loose, and always keep your drink close, ‘kay?” she says comfortingly, nodding at you before navigating her way into the crowd of college students.

When you follow her inside and reach the swarmed living room, you feel a set of hands rest on your shoulders from behind your “You actually came!” Nobara exclaims, squeezing your shoulders firmly. “I knew that dress would look great on you.” She grins brightly, pressing her cheek to yours. You catch a whiff of alcohol on her breath, making you shift uncomfortably.

You nod awkwardly, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. “Yeah, it’s great!” you say cheerfully, trying to mask your nervousness as drunk college students bustle around the sorority house. She helps you to pull down the back of your dress, which keeps on riding up your thighs.

“Stay safe, girl. I’ll be around!” Nobara pinches your cheek playfully, before disappearing into the drunken crowd. You cross your arms over your chest, navigating your way through the crowd, eventually reaching the beer kegs. You awkwardly pour yourself a cup, taking a nervous sip as you look around for any familiar faces. You can’t help but feel like all eyes are on you as you walk around aimlessly, before running into another one of your fellow students.

Yuji’s gaze turns from some black haired stranger to you, his eyes lighting up. “Hey, you made it!” he says enthusiastically, running a hand through his pink tufts of hair. “Ya’ having any fun?” he asks, nudging you with a playful grin. You force a smile and nod frantically.

He cheers, clapping you on the back, and you quickly try to escape and make your way to the bathroom, muttering “excuse me’s” and “sorry”’s as you maneuver your way to the end of the hallway. As you open the door to the restroom to find some girl puking into the toilet, and you quickly turn back around to find another restroom. You sigh deeply and take a long swig of your drink, gulping it down as your face contorts with disgust.

Suddenly a hand lands on your bare shoulder, making you gasp. “Hey, you. I’ve seen you around. You’re friends with Nobara, aren’t you?” The deep voice asks, and you turn around swiftly. You’ve never seen this guy on campus in your life, and he looks almost too old to be at a college party anyways.

“Y-Yeah. She’s the one who invited me.” you stammer, nodding as his hand remains firmly gripped on your shoulder.

“Yeah. She told me about you. But she didn’t tell me how cute you were.” The corners of his mouth curve up into a grin as your cheeks flush.

“Really? What did she tell you?” you ask, desperately trying to steer the conversation away from his flattery.

“Oh, nothing. Just that the two of you both major in fashion design, and all that.” His arm steers you down the hall as you walk together to the living room. “That dress.. fits you very nicely.” His hand rubs your shoulder, down to your forearm, giving you goosebumps.

You laugh nervously, “Thanks, I guess.” you murmur, trying to gently pull your arm away, but his grip only tightens. “Listen, it was nice talking with you, but I really have to go find-“

“Not so fast. I was hoping to see if you wanted to maybe.. head upstairs with me?” He raises his eyebrow suggestively, his hand lowering to your wrist slowly. You stammer nervously, panicking as you look around for any sight of Maki or Nobara, but they’re nowhere to be found.

“I-I really can’t, I need to find-“

Suddenly, almost as if your guardian angel descended itself, a comforting hand rests on your waist gently, almost making you flinch. “There you are, sweetheart? What did I tell you about wandering off on your own?” An unfamiliar monotonous voice purrs, soothing your nerves. You turn your gaze to see the same black haired stranger you saw earlier, looking up at him confusedly. He quirks his eyebrow, his navy blue eyes piercing yours as he shifts his gaze back and forth from you and the man in front of you. You eyes light up as you realize.. he’s trying to help you.

“S-Sorry, I was just.. um..” You don’t sound very convincing, unfortunately. The black haired man pulls you to his hip, his large hand resting on your head.

A nervous smile spreads across his face, “Oh.. hey, Megumi.” the man in front of you says disappointedly, taking a step back. “Didn’t know she was yours.”

“No worries.” He sighs with exasperation “Sorry, she doesn’t know her way around this place. Excuse us.” He says nonchalantly, steering you away, leaving the other strange man dumbfounded. You can almost feel your heart beating in your ears. He leads you to the patio, where your dorm mate and best friend are gossiping about whatever. He releases his hand from your waist, sighing heavily as he sits down and lounges back on a lawn chair, putting in a pair of airpods. The alcohol in your system stirs your senses, nearly making you stumble over.

“There you are! We hadn’t seen you in a while and we got a little worried.” Maki stumbles from her chair, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Her eyebrows knit together curiously, “You good? You’re looking a little.. red.” she asks, squinting at you.

You press a hand to your cheek, which is burning hot. “Y-Yeah! I’m fine!” You fidget nervously, but everyone is too drunk to pick up on how frightened you still are, besides your black-haired savior.

Nobara gasps, grabbing your hand all of the sudden, “Oh right, we haven’t introduced you yet!” She drags you over to the stranger by your wrist. “Meet Megumi!” she says cheerfully, voluntarily holding your hand out to meet his. The blue-eyed stranger annoyedly glares up at you, taking out his airpod and shaking your trembling hand. “He’s going to be our designated driver, because we’re gonna get wasted!” she cheers out loudly, shaking your wrist frantically when your hand meets his. You nod, pulling your arm from her grip.

“Actually.. I think I’m going to head home early..” you mumble, crossing your arms uncomfortably. Your girl friends frown.

“Okay, girl! I’m glad you came in the first place. Stay safe!” Nobara says, patting you on the shoulder as she gets called away by one of her sorority members.

Maki releases her arm from around you, “See you later tonight.” she says with a grin, patting you on the back as she leaves to go follow Nobara.

Now, you’re left with your savior, Megumi, who stares quietly up at you as you meet his gaze. He stands up, reaching into his pocket to grab a pair of keys. “I’m guessing you’ll need a ride.” he says lowly, spinning the keychain around his finger.

Your brow furrows, “But I thought you were going to drive the others?”

He rolls his eyes, “I’ll come back after. You’re with Maki, correct?” He asks casually, running a hand through his hair. You nod, shifting while you adjust your dress. He sighs, “Not that far.” he mutters.

Megumi motions for you to follow, maneuvering around the side of the house, avoiding the crowd and leading you to the driveway where his car sits, unlocking it. He holds the door open for you before you get in, following suit and climbing into the drivers seat. As soon as you sit down, you’re immediately smacked in the face with a strong scent. Weed. A grinder sits in one of the cup holders, and the doors are littered with stickers and names written in permanent marker. He adjusts the radio to some kind of rock station to drown out the awkward silence as you two make your way down the road to your dorm.

You raise your brow, “You don’t exactly seem like someone who goes to parties..” you say quietly, pulling the bottom of your dress further down your thighs.

His gaze remains on the road, lowering the radio volume. “Neither do you.” he says nonchalantly, turning the corner towards your dorm.

After a moment of silence, he continues, “I wasn’t going to go.. but Yuji, Maki and Nobara needed a driver, and I’m not a fan of alcohol myself anyways.” he grumbles with a twinge of annoyance in his voice. “Some people have better things to do than get wasted..” he mutters under his breath.

“You know Nobara and Maki?”

“Yeah. Since freshman year of high school.” he says, tapping his fingers to the beat of the radio on the steering wheel.

You nod understandingly, staring out the window. “Nobara invited me so I thought I’d give it a chance. Kind of regretting it now though.” you mutter, resting your chin in your palm as you pass by the men’s dorms. You let out a sigh of relief, “Thank-“

“Don’t thank me.” He murmured, shaking his head. “Any normal person would’ve done it.” You catch a glimpse of his face, and he looks almost.. annoyed. The rest of the ride is quiet besides for the music playing in the background.

You reach the women’s dormitories and he pulls in to park. Before you can close the door, Megumi grabs your wrist, “If that guy messes with you again, tell me.. or campus security.” he says huskily. His serious gaze could almost burn a hole in your head. You nod silently, and his grip releases. Without a word, you shut the door, eagerly speed-walking back to your safe, comfortable dorm room, and immediately strip out of your dress and collapse onto your bed. You start falling asleep.. or at least you would be, if it wasn’t for your mind repeatedly replaying the moment your angel dropped down from heaven to save you.

Out of your own volition, you grab your phone from your purse, ruffling through it for your phone. Immediately you get to stalking, looking through profiles and more profiles on instagram. Eventually, you decide to look through Nobara’s tagged post, which is where you find a post from Yuji, tagging not only Nobara and Maki, but another account, your savior.

Before succumbing to sleep, you quickly shoot him a follow, and a lazily typed message.

“hey, it’s me :) just thought i’d thank you again for helping me!”

Slowly, your eyes begin to close, and you drift to sleep, your phone in hand as you dream of that same moment at the party over and over.

* ˚ ✦ CHAPTER 2 :: green out: after being invited to your first smoke sesh with your friends, you green out, and megumi helps you out once again.

* ˚ ✦ CHAPTER 3 :: commitment: against your better judgement, you go to megumi's apartment alone, and he opens up to you.

[her-power]

Fixation on the Darkness (Part Two: Dark Romance! e.m. x fem! reader)

‼️❌🛑18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🛑❌‼️

Trigger/Content Warning: Dark! Somewhat Souless! Eddie! Strong sexual content, blood play, unprotected p+v, choking, hair pulling, rough intercourse, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (f receiving *for now*), fight or flight responses, grief, thoughts of unaliving self & others, manipulation, violence, smut, some fluff, angst.

Summary: Full Summary on Part One

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: There will be mentions of Vecna and El throughout the series, but I'm also going to be putting my own little spin on things where a lot of the ideas will be original. Thank you all for reading!

“I didn’t run away this time, right?” The pain was unbearable, his teeth clenched. 

“No. No. No. You didn’t run.” Dustin sobs. 

“You’re gonna have to look after those little shits for me, okay?” He was fading…he could feel it. 

“No, you’re gonna do that yourself!” 

“Nah, man. Say I’m gonna look after them, say it.” It hurts so bad. 

“I’m gonna…I’m gonna look…after them.” 

“Good.” He tastes blood. “I need…I need you to tell her…tell her that I’m sorry. And that I’ll always love her, and to…” He choked on his tears and blood. “Tell her to just live her life…she was the best…part of mine.” 

“I will…” Dustin sobs, Eddie lets out a choked breath. 

“I love you, man.” 

“I love you too.” 

He didn’t feel the pain anymore, he was fading away…the darkness was swallowing him whole. 

Thunder booms, an electric shock rumbles the ground. The bats that were still alive circle around him, watching, waiting. They would’ve feasted on the rest of his dead flesh, but something was happening. His hands twitch, the red sky glinting off his metal rings. His body jerks violently, his limbs twisting at odd angles before setting back to normal, a painful groan escapes his lips, and he inhales deeply, his lungs expanding. He stares up at the dark red sky, tilting his head as his vision adjusts and he was seeing things…differently. 

The sky was beautiful, he thought. Before, this was a place of his nightmares, a place that was the cause of the death of an innocent girl. A place that inhabited creatures of the unknown, a monster that controlled those creatures. 

He felt at home here. 

He sits up straight, craning his neck to the side, he grunts when he feels his neck readjust and the bones make a loud sickening crack. He gazes at his hands, unusually pale, bloody. Lifting his shirt, he sees that the fatal wounds that took his life were now scarring, and his skin healing. 

He chuckles, and he’s surprised at the mania behind it. He died in Dustin’s arms, crying like a little girl, making him promise to tell you all those stupid fucking things that made him want to puke. He pulls the bandana off of his head, tossing it to the side. His throat burned, and his ears rang. He gracefully gets to his feet, his eyes gazing up at the sky. 

Those fucking bats. 

One makes a nosedive towards him; he snatches the thing out of the air by the throat, he grins widely at his quick reflexes. The bat screeches in his hand, he tightens his hold on its neck, hearing a crunch and something animalistic escapes his throat. He feels a rumble in his chest, the ringing in his ears getting louder. He growls, ripping into the flesh of the bat with his teeth, feeling the black blood drip down his chin, flowing to the back of his throat. He drops the limp creature to the ground, sighing loudly. A pain hits the depth of his stomach, and he falls to his knees; his whole-body jerks, he feels like he’s been branded by a hot iron. He screams loudly, his fingers digging into the solid ground underneath him. It feels like his heart is beating out of his chest but he’s pretty sure he doesn’t have a heartbeat. He groans again, feeling a shooting pain go through his veins now and he collapses to his back, screaming loud. Something was happening to him, was he dying all over again? He grits his teeth, trembling in pain as another wave slams into his entire body. 

As quickly as it started, it stops. His skin becomes smoother, his muscles become tighter, and he feels stronger. He sits up straight, gazing at his hands. They were his hands, but pale, and…

Whoa. 

He laughs, his fingernails grow into claws, black as night. He wills them away and they disappear, back were his normal fingernails. He flexes his fingers, and the claws extend again. He grins, feeling something sharp nip at his bottom lip. His incisors were longer, but they weren’t just a second ago…or were they? He drags his tongue over his teeth, feeling the remnants of the blood from the bat and those sharp points disappear. Mmm. Who would’ve thought they’d taste so good? 

He was hungry for more; not for the bats but something else, something he could nurse…something he could…savor. Your face appears in his mind, and he grins. 

Oh, the poor thing. He laughs. I’m dead and now she’s lost forever. Poor…poor thing. I wonder if she still dreams of me, I wonder if I fuck her blind in her dreams, or she rides me until she can’t feel her legs. Mmm, she was a good fuck. That I remember. I know whatever is left of the old Eddie inside me is desperate to return to her, to hold her, love her. Ugh. 

I wonder what her grief tastes like. 

One year before the Upside Down…

“Wake up, sleepyhead.” You feel warm lips on your cheek, and you groan, burying your face deeper in the pillow. You feel his hands caress your hair, gently kissing the soft spot on your neck. 

“Go away.” You mutter. 

Eddie laughs. “You invited me to stay, sweetheart. Come on, I promised you breakfast.” 

You open one eye to look at him, his head is tilted at you, his dimples prominent with his smile. “Blueberry pancakes?” 

“Gross but yes.” He leans down to kiss your lips. “Anything for you.” 

You move onto your back and stretch, your shirt rising up your stomach. He grins at you, kissing your stomach and you laugh as his hair tickles you. He rests his chin on your belly, staring up at you, and you curl your fingers through his hair. “If you want us to get breakfast so bad, you probably should stop staring at me.” 

“Nah, I can bask for a few minutes.” He grins, reaching his hands up to caress down your arms gently, entwining your fingers. You close your eyes, savoring his warmth, his gentle kisses on your navel. He slides up your form, catching your lips in a passionate kiss. He holds your waist, his hand glides down to your thigh and squeezes the meaty flesh tightly. You moan and giggle against his lips. 

“What about breakfast?” 

He pins your free hand on the side of your head, gently squeezing, his mouth going to your lips, and you sigh. “Mmm, we can still make brunch.” 

Your eyes snap open, tears were in your eyes as you dreamt a memory. A memory that seemed so long ago now. It was dark, you slept longer than you intended, although you needed it. You sit up in your bed, your hair a wild mess, your body sore. 

Pleasantly sore. 

You had no idea what you were dealing with. You had no idea what he was…what he wasn’t. All he did was touch you, taste you, in places you were used to with him, but there was a different feeling behind it. Like he was feeding off you, feeding off your essence, your happiness, your euphoria. Your body shudders at the memory, you feel yourself clench, pleasant tingles dance in your belly. What he did; what you let him do…

You couldn’t take his teasing anymore while he fingered you against your front door. He was taunting you, every kiss of his cold lips, every thrust of his fingers. You had gotten sick of it, twirling yourself in his grasp, pushing your body against his, molding your mouth with his. You could feel him stiffen at the change, but he only groaned, his tongue entered your mouth with such urgency that it took you a minute to catch your breath. His cold hands tug painfully at your hair, but you welcomed it, you couldn’t stop touching him. In one swift movement, he has you pinned on the floor next to the fireplace. The flames reflected off his discolored eyes, making them more vibrant, more beautiful. He leaned back on his heels, staring down at you with that same sinister smile. He peeled off his shirt and jacket, his muscles so much more defined, his skin pale. He squeezes your thighs, roughly pulling off your jeans, leaving you half naked in your underwear. A growl rumbles in his throat; and your breath hitches as you stare at him. 

He looked so sinister. 

So evil. 

But you couldn’t look away. 

Not from him. 

Not when he curls his fingers through the band of your underwear, pulling it between your sex, adding pressure to your clit with the fabric, and your back arches. He laughs, tearing the thick fabric away from you painfully, and you wince. His cold hands massage your thighs, pushing your legs wider apart. 

“Look at that.” He says, his voice low, his finger strokes the wetness at your cunt; you were so wet. He brings his finger to his mouth, sucking it gently and groaning. “Fuck.” 

He scoots back on his stomach, roughly pulling you towards his face by your thighs. 

“Eddie…Eddie…wait…” You don’t finish. Instead, a loud moan escapes you as he sucks onto your clit, pulling it between his teeth, the sensation painful but oh so fucking…wonderful. “Oh god…”

You lean up on your elbows to watch him, and he spreads your legs wider, his tongue flicking out to that sensitive area. He fucking devoured you. He meets your eyes, a smile on his face as he licks you from your hole, taking your clit into his mouth again. Your head falls back against the rug on the floor, the heat from the fire causing you to sweat, your nipples peak through your shirt and it suddenly felt so much tighter on you. You awkwardly pull it off of you, and his hand automatically reaches up to tug your nipple and you gasp loudly. He continues his feast, his grip tightening on your thigh as his tongue moves faster. He groans again, pulling his face away with a grunt and he moves up you like a snake. He grips the side of your face, while the other hand dances with your clit. His mouth was so close to yours, and he grins. 

“I wanna taste you.” 

“You already are.” You breathe out. 

He smiles wide, shaking his head, his eyes wide with lust, his cold fingers moving to your lips. “No, sweetheart. There’s something else I want to taste.” 

Your heart rate picks up, and you stare at him confused. He grins wider, pressing his ear to your chest, and something clicks. The other night…he had bit you. Bit you hard enough to draw blood, but when you had told him to stop, he seemed scared that he had hurt you, his entire demeanor changed, but before you could do anything else he had disappeared. The words are locked in your throat, the questions, you don’t know why you couldn’t tell him no, you don’t know why you didn’t want to tell him no. 

“I won’t hurt you.” He meets your eyes, and you swear you see a flash of the real Eddie for a second. “Just a little taste…right…here.” His fingers move down to your inner thigh, gripping you in his hands, and you tremble underneath him. “Please, baby. I’m craving you.” 

Your chest heaves as you stare at him wide eyed. You still couldn’t form words, but you nod, your body shaking. His cold fingers rake down your skin, he runs his tongue a long your inner thigh and you whimper. He gently nips the skin and your back arches; you meet his eyes; and you almost scream. His discolored eyes turn a shade redder, his circles under his eyes darkening like webs and you see the points of his teeth. 

“What…ohhhhahhhh…”

You moan, feeling his teeth bite into your flesh, but…it didn’t hurt. It was a bizarre sensation. It stung a little, you felt your cunt become wetter as his tongue laps up around the bite. He moans, and a hot growl escapes him. 

Warmth from your blood drips down your thighs, and you swear you felt like you were floating. His tongue traces circles over your mound, before dragging his teeth along your clit. You didn’t feel the sharp points as he sucks the bundle in between his teeth. Your orgasm was approaching, the warmth from your blood, the coldness of his lips, was enough to send you spiraling into a puddle of pure ecstasy. 

“Oh…oh my…f-fuck…” Your body jerks, feeling the peak of your orgasm hit your belly and he coos against you, his licks getting faster as your back arches, and you explode with a scream into his mouth. His hands hold down your thighs tightly, you felt a little more of your blood spill from his fingers as he continues to suck you dry, you desperately try to close your legs around his head, but he keeps them open. The orgasm was too much, but it was so damn good, you kept screaming in pleasure until he finally pulls his face up with a gasp. His lips and chin were covered in your blood, your juices, and his saliva. He licks up your navel, you watch as a trail of blood snakes up your stomach and cover your breast as he sucks your sensitive nipple. You groan, pulling his face up to yours, crashing your lips against his. Not caring about the blood, not caring about anything really. You could taste the iron from his mouth, the sweetness of you. So intoxicating. He cups the side of your face, pushing his body against yours as his tongue fucks your mouth and you devour every second of it. He pulls away with a lick to your lips, and your chest heaves as you stare up at him. He grins, like the Cheshire Cat ready to fool you with a riddle. His cool finger goes to your chin, gently wiping away something from your chin. He pulls his finger away, and you tremble seeing a little pool of your blood on his finger, he licks it clean and chuckles. His eyes still a shade of red; full of lust and a hungriness you’ve never seen before. His lips move to your ear, his breath cold as he says lowly, “Now and forever, you belong to me.” 

He made you feel things you’ve never felt before. Even when he was…himself. You swore you could feel his love for you with every kiss of his lips, the way his cold hands touch your cheeks, but you’re probably just wishful thinking it. And at this point, you don’t believe it’s love, but hunger. You were trying to convince yourself that the sharp points of his incisors that bit into your flesh weren’t real, that you’re just imagining this whole thing. You didn’t know where he went when he disappeared. Before he left, he had taken a shower, and you heard him hum Moonlight Sonata. Something about the way he was humming it had sent shivers down your spine; it sounds so haunting, and it was almost like he knew it was a scaring you. His clothes were different when he came out, he was in all black. The contrast of his skin with the darkness made him look so much more beautiful you didn’t know how to look away. You felt an energetic pull towards him whenever you met his eyes; it brought you back to a time where you could just stare into those chocolate brown eyes and get lost in them. 

It scared you that he said that you were his, now and forever. 

But it also made you crave him and desperate for answers and what exactly he was. What exactly he meant by that. The following day at work was a drag, you spent most of the day organizing the records alphabetically. Your boss could tell something was off with you, but he didn’t ask questions, you knew he probably figured you were going through a weird grief thing and kept his distance. 

“Hey.” 

You gasp, almost toppling over, but Steve Harrington grabs you by your forearm. You held your hand to your chest as you gaze at him. 

“Whoa, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare ya.” He says gently and you shake your head, trying your best to smile. 

“It’s fine. Just been jumpy lately.” You chuckle. “I’m surprised to see you. You’re either slaving away at Family Video or holed up in your house.” You didn’t mean for it come off the way it did, hurt flashes in his eyes and you sigh. “I’m sorry. Are you doing okay?” 

He shrugs, running his hands through his hair. “Hanging in there, I guess. I saw Dustin the other day; he said he saw you.” 

You nod, filing through the records to place Pat Benatar in her respected spot. “Yeah, I try to see him as much as I can.” 

You could feel his eyes burning into you. He used to be your best friend, someone that was like a brother to you, now he felt like a stranger. You hated that feeling, hated how alone you felt, and how he probably felt that way too. “Are you okay?” He asks you gently. 

You smirk, looking up at him. “No.” 

“I’m sorry…I know I should be there for you more…it’s just…there’s things…”

You raise your eyebrow at him. “What things?” 

He shakes his head, sighing. “Nothing.” 

You almost laugh. “I swear you and Dustin are notorious for keeping things from me. I didn’t find out you guys were protecting Eddie from the cops until a month after his death. I didn’t know he literally died in Dustin’s arms until Wayne told me about the necklace and even though he died in his arms, there was still no body…”

“The earthquake happened…Dustin was hurt…”

“Yeah. I get that.” You snap. “What I don’t get is why he or you or anyone else couldn’t have told me any of this. Why he didn’t come to me when the murders happened, why he went and got himself killed for a town that still hates him.” 

That Eddie is still dead. Your heart aches at the thought, because you had him back in some sense, but not all of him. He wasn’t whole. He was just an evil entity inside a body that looked like the man you were in love with. 

Steve sighs, gently taking your hand, you try to pull away, but he tightens his hold. “Listen to me. He didn’t want you involved. The way Jason was acting after the murders, he was afraid he was gonna find you and hurt you. He was willing to hurt 14 year olds. He couldn’t stomach the thought of something happening to you.” 

“He should’ve just told me.” Tears fill your eyes, and you rip your hand away. “I would’ve gladly given my life to save him. I still would.” 

Steve groans. “That’s why he didn’t tell you! Because he knew exactly what you would do.” 

“Well, too bad it wasn’t me. He’s dead. And I’m here, living, breathing, while he’s rotting somewhere.” 

Steve flinches, and he sighs. “He really loved you.” 

“If he loved me, he wouldn’t have risked his life for this shitty town.” 

You turn away from him but freeze when you overhear the reporter on the small television speakers:

…unfortunately there is not enough information to label this as an animal attack or an attack by a human. What we do know is that two bodies were found by Lover’s Lake, in brutal condition. Crime scene investigators are doing a thorough search of the area as well as getting updates from the medical examiner. No names have been released on the identities of the two bodies…

Steve was stiff behind you as he stares at the screen. You felt the hair raise on the back of your neck and bile rise in your throat. Was he capable of this? Was he capable of murder? 

Not back then, but now you had no idea what he was capable of. 

Steve seemed to be shaken up as well as you turn to look at him. “Steve?” 

“I…I have to go.” He turns away from you but stops at the door as you stare at his back, you watch his shoulders slump. “Give me a call in a few days. Please? I want to catch up.” 

You nod but you couldn’t shake the feeling something was scaring. “Steve…what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, it’s good. It’s all fucking good.” He leaves you standing there; you’re not entirely sure what just happened. What spooked him, why he seemed so cryptic. Either way, you planned on finding out, even if the information you got was from an undead version of Eddie. 

[la-imp]

AVATAR RECOM HEADCANONS - INTRO

Recoms!Deja Blu Unit - Science"Puke"! Reader

This is my first headcanon series and I am incredibly nervous because there are so many good ones out there already. I have read quite a few amazing headcanon series by various blogs who practically carry the whole Avatar Fanfic scene, which I am really grateful for! I know these sorts of scenarios have been done a lot by now, but I wanted to get one out and put my own spin on it. I hope to write more and update this series as well as take in requests, one-shots, etc, expanding on the characters as much as I can. I hope you enjoy! Avatar has consumed my life, lol...

Disclaimer: I do not own AVATAR, nor do I own its creative properties and original characters. I do, however, own the 'reader' character as well as other created figures that do not appear in the Avatar films, video games, or comic books. Characters involved: Miles Quaritch, Lyle Wainfleet, Alexander Ja, Mansk, Zdindarsk aka Z-Dog, Zhang, Lopez, Fike, Warren, Walker, Prager, Brown - mentions of Jake Sully

Plot Summary: The story takes place during the events of TWOW, right before the great reef battle. I won't spoil any crucial plot details (for those who haven't watched the movie yet), so I'll end it there. The reader is a militant medic with a biochemistry background, now assigned special care to ensure Project Phoenix's success. As their body chemistry is quite different and unique from that of humans, they require some help getting used to their new vessel. This is where you come in... and boy... you were not prepared for this. A bunch of Na'vi Human hybrids at the peak of their prime, fuelled by hormonal rage, primal instincts, and a knack for vengeance, they sure as hell turned your daily life topsy turvy. To them, you were nothing more than another science puke here to bore them out of their minds,  even though you had some military training as well. It is up to you to show them otherwise. To earn a place in their ranks.

Will (y/n) be able to handle this task or eventually fold like the others?

Warning(s): Cursing - Mild bullying - Negging - Foul language - Playful flirting

Content: SFW (Minors DNI) The reader is human and female. I plan to write specific headcanons for each individual character, but this was just a very long and detailed starter in order to get the ball rolling. Also this is not proof-read, so take this with a grain of salt. Happy reading! (also English is not my first language, so please bear with me) ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hailing from a gentle background of academics and artists, you've decided to take a completely different route from what your family had destined for you. Going against their wishes and dissapointing a few members here and there was a price you were willing to pay in order to fulfill a lifelong dream. The prize of independence. Or perhaps you were tired of people telling you what you could and couldn't do. The idea of an adventure, exploring new worlds and galaxies, far far away from home was far more attractive than spending your years trying to fix a dying planet. But you also had a knack for helping and aiding those in need. Being a healer with a vast background of medicine and herbs only came natural to you. And as you graduated top of your class, you sought a new challenge. So you joined the space force. Military training was hard but you managed adquedately.  And as you finally becamea full-fledged medic, you signed a contract with the RDA to be shipped off to Pandora.

Save to say, the six years of light-year travel did take a toll on your body. It was often emphasized that dreams do not occur during cryo sleep. Yet, your case was the opposite. Over and over you saw visions of a lush, prehistoric forest that almost looked magical and foreign. Due to overpopulation and pollution, nature seized to exist altogether back on earth, so thinking of what this mythical Pandora may look like, sparked a fire in the pits of your stomach. You began to wonder if these dreams held any meaning to them... or if it was just your brain chemistry running haywire during the cryogenic sleep. The closer you got, the giddier you grew - excited and electrified at the idea of setting foot on one of the most precious planet known to man. Perhaps in the entire universe.

After your space shuttle finally docked at the RDA's space station, you were quickly briefed on your assignment by the announcers, guiding you to the nearest secretary. The secretary looked over her glasses and tossed you an illegible glare before sighing with a shake of her head, handing you your paperwork. "May God have mercy on you," she mumbled before calling for the next candidate. You took the papers hesitantly, brows furrowing in confusion before your eyes cast down on  on these said documents. Your eyes widened as your heart nearly sank. You were assigned to assist military Avatar personnel? You looked back up at the lady who was now grinning at you, a glint playing in her gaze. "Fresh meat for the grinder. It's a bit crass they decided to assign a small girl such as yourself to help these beasts," You slowly nodded, an awkward semi-smile forming on your lips, "I guess I like a challenge," you said, tone matching her sarcastic one. You have studied them for three years now, after all. You were prepared.

A few labcoats accompanied by a good portion of cleanroom suits were helping you find your way before passing you your exopack mask. It was the first time you'd ever seen one of those from up close. The concept of not being able to breathe the atmosphere was somewhat daunting. But it was something you had to get used to if you wanted to survive Pandora's 'Adapt or Die' rules. Wasting no time, you quickly strapped them on and secured the clasps, allowing the small piece of machinery to flood your nostrils with fresh oxygen. Impressed, you found it was much clearer and cleaner than that of Earth's... sadly enough.  You then remembered the comment from the secretary earlier on, echoing in your mind over and over again until it festered in the back of your subconscious. Anxiety began to take a hold of you, shaking your confidence ever so slightly.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, you then issued a curt nod to your superiors who lastly gave you a clipboard, detailing all of your duties and rank among the Recom unit members. "Ready, greenhorn?" Dr. Vasquez piped up, drawing you from your trance. You blinked at him with a wide-eyed deer-caught-in-headlights look, lips parting, "Y-yeah." he chuckled in response to your nervousness before slapping a hand on your shoulder in confidence. "Don' worry, they may look very scary at first glance, but you will soon realize they are professionals just like us, alright?" You nodded, swallowing the lump down your throat before clamping the board beneath your armpit. "Alright then kiddo, let's rock'n'roll," he said with a smirk before punching in a security code to unlock the doors to the decompressors.

The air was filtered to fit the atmosphere of the recoms. Which was in turn, extremely toxic to humans. Unconscious in twenty seconds - dead in four minutes. The prospect didn't sound like very glamorous death. As the door opened, a hiss emitted from the pressure, giving way to the bright light of the sun peaking through the glass windows. Vasquez marched forward before beckoning you to join him. Upon entering, the energy of the room immediately shifted. It was almost palpable to the touch.

A good part of your confidence was chipped away once you laid your eyes on your future teammates. Breath nearly caught in your throat. To say they were tall was a big understatement. They were huge - as a matter of fact - larger than life! Nothing could've prepared you for this. Most of them stood at around ten feet and nearly scraped the ceilings if they hadn't been adjusted to meet their physiology. You continued to saunter forward, one tentative step at a time, eyes still glued to their physiques without so blinking an eye. Their bodies were even more strange, striking you with awe. Slender, graceful, svelte, yet powerful. The complexion was a deep cyan or darker powder blue, decorated in interesting patterns and luminescent dots, all accompanied by a long prehensile tail that idly swung from side to side, giving them a more animalistic edge. They were all broad-shouldered, even the women, as you scanned the room with all the blue-skinned individuals lurking about, their poise signifying a certain strength and fortitude that of a warrior. They could easily toss a person across the room and break every single bone in their body with one blow if they wished.

Eyes were striking like molten gold peering from the shadows, intensely following your every move. Their previous chatter immediately died down as their eyes glued to you and the other scientists. Vasquez took his position next to someone who seemed much more commanding and authoritive compared to the rest. He stood slightly taller and wore a khaki tanktop, exhibiting a set of toned, muscular arms placated on his hips. You caught a glimpse of his tattoo on his left arm. A black eagle. A remnant of his previous life? Or something to distinguish himself from the others, perhaps?

The way he walked with a certain swagger, taking a stance next to Vasquez, sharp yellow eyes peering into the hall, had you nearly choke on your own saliva. He was an intimidating man,  "As you all know, we are sent here to accomplish a mission that we couldn't last time. To hunt down and terminate the leader of the Na'vi insurgency, Jake Sully.  And in order to ensure our success, we have been assigned our personal medical officers who specialize in Na'vi physiology. They make sure none of us step out of line and patch us up during missions. Treat 'em with respect, ya hear? They are as much our responsbilities as we are theirs," his tone was a low, commanding drawl, hinting at his possible origin back from Earth. He also sounded a tad older than his bio stats suggested.

"Wait, we're going to have these science pukes tag along?" Someone groaned in the background.

Doctor Vasquez nudged you with his elbow before whispering something into your ear. So he was the colonel. Colonel Miles Quaritch. The leader of the first recombinant unit Deja Blu, the first Avatar squad produced by Project Phoenix. Vasquez then nodded and brought you and another male medical officer. Thankfully you weren't alone. And as you peeked into the crowd, practically feeling their eyes rake over your forms in a very scrutinizing manner, you wished there were more human scientists to accompany you. "Listen up Recoms," Vasquez announced, matching Quaritch's energy. Which you had noticed, was now glancing at you over his shoulder with a lazed stare. You quickly turned away, hating that all of their attention was on you now. Just great. "Those are your new medical officers," he gestured to both you and your counterpart, earning him a few whispers and hushed conversations between the Na'vi hybrids. The heavily tattooed individual grunted loudly, expressing a clear distaste at the fact.

You watched as the one with the camo cap began to chuckle before leaning over to the tattooed female with the mohawk, gossiping something into her ear. Your eyes narrowed at her, hoping to God they weren't talking shit about you. The male medic next to you semed quite nervous himself, almost glistening with a faint sheen of sweat whenever the light hit his complexion. Oh man... what a great start. "This here is Mr. Ryan," Vasquez said confidently and clamped a hand on his shoulder before pulling you to his side with a toothy grin, "And this is Miss (y/n). They're going to do a quick checkup on your vitals before we make land on Pandora. Their status reports will affect your mission. If you have any further questions regarding any of that, feel free to ask them. Good luck and have fun," he said before departing, giving you a two-finger salute before vanishing out the door.

For a moment, you wished he hadn't abandoned you so soon, but as you stood there, again with the hundred yard stare, you instantly began pulling out your clipboard, training your eyes on the papers rather than the giant soldiers around you. Quaritch cleared his throat before stepping forward, closing in on your proximity. The heat practically rolled off of him. Almost radioactive in a sense. "Right. Welcome to the crew," he said as a deep rumble of chuckles resonated within the hall. You flicked your attention back on them, seeing as their expressions turned from scrutiny to amusement. The one with the hat flicked his chin toward Ryan, "So you get to touch us all around?" Ryan nodded cautiously, "Yes, in a sense. We need to do some physical checkups to make sure your bodies haven't mutated or caught any diseases on the way here and-"

"So you're gonna be cupping my big blue balls, too?" he said, making an obscene gesture as the team burst out in synchronized laughter. Mr Ryan pursed his lips in frustration. You felt his pain, it was nearly palpable.

You were so not ready for this... "Shut your horny mouth, Ja!" one of the female recoms hollered, smacking him on the back of his head.

Judging by the 'joke', you came to the conclusion that they were full-blooded jarheads. You sighed before ticking something off your clipboard. "And what about her? Is she good with her small hands?" At this your eyebrows twitched before you began searching for the miscreant of this statement. Seeing as the one with the bandana had crooked a finger at you. "Man, she does look cute tho... tiny lil thing. What's good, mama?" their banter continued, slapping and fist bumping each other, having the time of their lives. What a fucking farce - you thought to yourself begrudgingly. The behavior reminded you of teenagers experiencing the surge of hormones for the first time. You couldn't believe Vasquez had vouched for their professionalism. Perhaps he was in on the joke as well. "Shut your pie holes. They're here to help, not entertain you, you fucking lowlifes. Treat'em with respect or I'll have your ass handed back to the infirmary, you get me?!" Quaritch's voice boomed, immediately silencing the lively chatter among his subordinates.

Looking over at the colonel, you saw his hardened, chiseled features directed toward you with an unreadable expression. His pointed ears were tucked back against his head as he issued you a small nod. You repaid him with the same respect and inclined your head in acknowledgment before moving on to your first patient. "Brown?" you said, louder than originally intended before you flicked your gaze around the room, searching for any response. "Steven Brown?" you repeated with a bit more clarity. The mohawk lady merely snorted with arms folded, watching you as you searched for your first victim. Suddenly a blue hand lifted, alerting you of your designated recom, seeing that he looked a little less grim and intimidating. Although equally large, he seemed a bit more approachable, in your eyes at least. With that being said, it wasn't exactly a joyride pushing and squeezing yourself through, as some of them actively made an effort of staying rooted to the spot, entertained at your slight struggle. You could have sworn hearing someone wolf whistle at you but you pushed those thoughts aside when you reached your destination.

He was slightly shorter than the rest, not that you could tell right away as he was seated on one of the benches slightly hunched over, his posture overly lax. Much like the others, he sported that classical short military haircut and fade. "Alright doc, whaddya got for me?" he drawled with a certain bite. You decided not to overanalyze everything, as you were already extremely nervous. You meanwhile scribbled down all of the data before setting the clipboard down, looking him in the eye. He remained there, sitting there in silence, monitoring you with a peculiar glint playing in his topaz irises. "Alright, Mr. Brown, could you please stretch out your right arm? I need to take some samples and check your haemogram if that is alright with you," you explained as you flashed him a polite smile while the convos in the background resumed.

Brown simply nodded and muttered a small 'sure thing' before complying with your wishes. Once he extended his appendage, you got a chance to examine it closely - realizing just how large and sinewy his arm was. The texture was interesting too, differing not much from human skin, save for the lack of arm hair. "Finding a vein shouldn't be a problem," you jest before pulling out a small device for blood sampling. It was not a syringe, but a highly advanced gadget that locked down on the skin cell before drawing a bit of blood. "Alright, just let me disinfect this real quick..." you continued before wiping the spot with a small disinfectant wipe, clearing it from any bacteria. The feeling of his skin was curious, smooth yet somehow rougher to the touch compared to human flesh. Pandora's rough climates had evolved them to become perfect survivors as even their skin was harder to penetrate.  Brown tilted his head to the side, ears swiveling curiously when you placed the blood-letting machinery against the crook of his arm. A small pinch broke through his flesh, extracting only a few tiny droplets. "There we go, that's about it-" Before you could continue, however, you caught Brown sending you a mischievous wink. "Didn't hurt at all, doc."

"Got what ya need, Miss (y/n) or... did I get that right?" you felt blood rush to your cheeks, heating your face altogether. They were trying to rile you up on purpose now... "(Y/N) right, but just call me by my first name. No need for being formal," hoping it would somewhat diffuse the awkward tension between you and the recoms. However, things did not go as planned when Brown's brows lifted for a short moment before his ears rotated in your direction, more attentive than before. "Well good to know, (y/n), looking forward to working with ya," your breathing became heavy to his deliberate teasing as he allowed himself to lean forward. You nearly jumped at his sudden intrusion "So (y/n), what does my blood test say?" just then the analysis was completed, giving you a clear stats report on his bloodwork.

"So far so good... bloodwork looks normal. Cholesterol is in the green and.... well..." His face faltered a bit, "What?" "be sure to consume fewer sugary drinks or sweets but other than that, you're fine. Wouldn't want you to be the first adipose soldier on Pandora," his features continued to crack "You calling me fat, doc?" he said before warming up to a smirk. You leaned away from him to avoid his sudden boldness. "Nah, just reminding you to be on your best behavior if you want to keep up with the rest, alright?" Brown scoffed with a shake of his head as you took your clipboard with you, writing down all of the info as well as checking a few boxes. "I'll get back to you later, just need to do the same with.... uh.. Wainfleet?" you asked, squinting your eyes to spot someone a bit taller and a tad bit more athletic looking. He lacked hair, like some of the others as he wiggled his fingers at you flirtatiously, a crooked smile plastered on his lips. "The one and only," you grunted in affirmation, feeling some of the dread returning before you headed over.

A sudden ticklish sensation and force tugged at the crook of your knee, having you to stumble and nearly fall flat on your face. Walker clicked her tongue with a roll of her eyes, "Come on Kevin, leave the poor girl alone already!" Quaritch's nostrils flared when he caught Brown fucking with you. A move of his tail that hooked around your leg in order to trip you. "You better secure that shit, Brown before I clip that thing off, capiche?" He growled, causing Brown to stiffen immediately. Eventually, he lowered his head and ears ".... yes sir... sorry,"

You managed to calm your thundering heart as you eyeballed Brown with a mix of irritation and embarrassment. What an asshole. Is that how it was going to be all the time? Good lord... how much you began to regret signing up for this particular unit. "Mr. Wainfleet?" you said softly, approaching the man cautiously as he eyed you up and down with that same grin on his face.

"Call me Lyle, sweetums. Only my mother calls me Mr. Wainfleet. So.... here to check the goods? Or maybe even get a feel?" Lyle chuckled before flexing his built physique, making you watch his biceps bulge and swell. The action made your throat dry out like the Sahara desert. Just what in the world have you gotten yourself into...

[mothergold]

| Coming Home |

Pairing: Albedo x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Albedo Uses He/Him Pronouns, Reader Uses She/Her Pronouns (Only used once), Reader is sick, Albedo takes care of Reader, Reader experiences Nausea, Reader is referred to as Albedo’s Wife, Mention of Throwing Up/Puke, Mention of medication, Reader is very stubborn, Reader doesn’t take very good care of herself, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Reader and Albedo are married, 1.3k words. 

A/n: this man will forever be my number one :’) 

Summary: When you fall ill one evening your husband finds out and is intent on taking care of you until you feel better. 

Tags: @auphelia @suyacho @tighnarly @themovingcastlez

Rain splashed onto the roof, leaving a pitter patter behind every drop that fell from the sky. You struggled to open your eyes, barely opening them you soon realized your throat was dry. It hurt. Nevertheless you pushed past the discomfort and sat upright, stretching out your arms and legs to awaken your body for the day, but you soon realized just how little of that day would be lived. At first you thought, maybe it’s just because it’s the morning, but soon you realized you were indeed sick. It wouldn’t be until Albedo arrived home that day that he realized just how sick you were. You thought it was a mere cold, but he reassured you it was a bit more serious than that. The flu he had informed you.

At one point you had gotten up from bed to help Albedo with something and he swiftly brought you back into your shared bedroom just to tuck you back into bed. You grumbled and complained that it wasn’t that serious, but Albedo simply ignored you. He would have none of that and you learned that very quickly. You tried for several days to get things done whenever Albedo would leave for work, and it wasn’t until he found out what you were doing that he chose to do his work at home until you recovered. He remained at home where he could keep a very close eye on his wife, who was much too stubborn for her own good. Eventually you gave up, or at least you did for that day. It was a day filled with constant battles between husband and wife. You insisted on doing things your way, and he nearly lost his mind trying to convince you to just rest.

Of course, Albedo was no stranger to your antics and sternly reminded you why he was home in the first place. “You are sick.” 

Then came the peak of your sickness, you could barely get out of bed without feeling nauseous and weak. Albedo had to be quick on his feet to help you at times, but eventually it came to a point that you were too weak to get up on your own and had to be escorted to the bathroom. Albedo was good about making sure you only had to get up if you really needed to and only then. He often made your food for you and brought it to you on a tray right to your bed, and encouraging you to please eat something. You obliged the first few times but then that nausea would build up and you’d have to stop eating immediately. Afraid you would throw it all back up you shook your head and gripped onto Albedo’s shirt, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. He’d bring you close to him, rubbing the side of your arm as he hummed to you as a way to distract you from the sickly way you felt. 

As night approached he did well to clean up anything last minute before he administered your medicine with a glass of water. He sat on the opposite side of the bed to ensure you took each and every one, laying soothing rubs along your leg to encourage you to take your meds as best you could. Sometimes you for the life of you couldn’t take all of your medication, but as defeated and ashamed as you’d feel Albedo was quick to console you. Taking the meds from your hesitant and shaky hands he placed them on the nearby nightstand and got underneath the covers with you. 

He wrapped his arms around your waist and gently pulled your back to his chest. Albedo inhaled your scent and kissed the back of your neck as he rubbed soothing circles against your body, humming something familiar as the two of you became sleepy. He smiled and squeezed you carefully, gingerly. Albedo silently hoped that you’d feel relief in the morning, that your sore throat and pained coughs would subside and that you would be able to eat something and enjoy it. Whether that would happen or not remained to be seen until the two of you woke up wrapped among the blankets and sheets, the sun peeking through the thin curtains as if to be the quiet alarm that helped you rise for the day. 

You turned and let out a tired groan, and opening your eyes just halfway you saw as your husband smiled like the lovesick fool he was.

“How’d you sleep?” He asked softly. 

You smiled and nodded, wrapping your arms tightly around him. “Better.”

“How’re you feeling?” He continued.

You let out a yawn before answering. “Mmm much better.” 

Finally, Albedo could take a deep breath and not worry too much about you, but that didn’t mean he’d stop worrying altogether. No, he’d always worried about you. How could he not? It was you after all. 

Albedo gave you a gentle kiss on the forehead, pulling away only to smile at you some more. He saw you giggle at the suddenness of it and that spurred him on. Peppering your face with kisses he did so a little faster than the last as you kept giggling. Albedo adored that sound, your laughter. It was so soothing and easy on the ears, feeling like sunshine after rain. Peaceful and perfect. As the two of you began your day you sat upright and stretched your arms out in front of you and groaned in the process. You watched as Albedo walked out of bed and stood in the door frame with a smirk. 

You tilted your head. “What’s got you so happy, Mr.Kreideprinz?” You ask with a giggle.

He looks out the window and then returns his gaze to you, all the while still smirking. “Well, it’s such a lovely day outside and you’ve been recovering very well.” He sighs and shrugs his shoulders. 

“What? What is it?” You nearly blurt out, your body now leaning forward. 

“Well, it’s just such a shame we’d have to waste such a nice sunny day such as this. We could’ve had a nice picnic out in the backyard.” He continues egging you on, very obviously trying to get a reaction out of you. Playfully, of course.

“The backyard? What about on Starsnatch Cliff?” You question. 

He gives you a teasing look. “Don’t push it.” 

You gleam with excitement and jump out of bed. “Okay, backyard it is!” 

Hopping out of bed you talked loudly about how excited and eager you were to go out on a day as nice as this, and at that point you no longer cared where it was happening as long as you got to experience the warmth of the sunshine with your husband. And before you knew it you had forgotten all about how awful you had felt these past few days. Sure, you weren’t entirely recovered, but that’s exactly why Albedo was keeping you close to him. So, as to not push you any farther than what you could currently handle. Thankfully, everything worked out in the end. You survived the day with no worsening health and in return you gained a memory which you would remember for years to come.

[exhaslo]

Puzzle Pieces Ch15

(Mafia!Miguel x Shy!Reader)

Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3, Ch.4, Ch.5, Ch6, Ch7, Ch8, Ch9, Ch10, Ch11, Ch12, Ch13, Ch14

Warning: Smut so Minors DNI, mentions of abuse, torture, blood, murder, language, fluff, bullying, mentions of sex, praise

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It was abnormally quiet. You had finally been released from the hospital and Miguel was escorting you to the car. It was almost creepy by how quiet the hospital was. Everyone kept silent as Miguel walked out the building.

Slowly entering the car, you rubbed your eyes and let out a soft cheer. Hospitals were never fun. You had enough time within them to hate them. Waiting for Miguel to sit, you scooted beside him and rested your head against his shoulder.

"Conejita (bunny), I'm going to give you a choice. I can drop you off at home to rest, or...you can come watch me torture Eddie. I won't force you to do anything you aren't comfortable with." He said softly.

You furrowed your brows as you felt your heart race. You had been in the hospital for three days and Miguel had told you what he had been doing each time. You knew that everyday you were injured, he made sure Eddie received dire punishment.

Part of you was nervous. You really did not want to see Eddie again. Not after everything he has done to you, but...Part of you wants to see Eddie get what he deserves. Would it be so bad to watch your abuser get abused?

"Um...I-I...I don't...k-know how I'll....react....b-but...but I want t-to s-say something...to him," You stuttered, shaking from your nervous. Miguel gently pulled you onto his lap,

"Shh, baby, you don't need to force yourself," Miguel whispered, kissing your nerves away, "You did so well for me already. You just need to watch until you don't want to anymore."

"Mhm," You held onto Miguel, melting under his touch and kisses, "M-Miguel...W-Will....it...be b-bad?" You muffled, moving your head back as he kissed and sucked against it.

"Yes. But I don't do this all the time. Only because he hurt you." Miguel hummed as he rubbed circles around your waist, "I don't want you to think differently of me...when you see the state of that bastard."

"I won't,"

You closed your eyes, enjoying his touches. No matter the outcome, you knew that Miguel could never harm you. No matter how scared you were, you felt safe in Miguel's embrace.

"You seem nervous, why don't I help you...destress?" Miguel chuckled lowly as he raised your skirt. You huffed your cheeks out, slowly giving in,

"O-Okay...B-But...be gentle...I'm still bruised..." You whispered. Miguel kissed your chest, grinding into you,

"Of course,"

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Holding onto Miguel as you entered a creepy warehouse, you felt your nerves return. Even after his little 'destress' session in the car. Hearing a scream, you immediately grabbed onto Miguel, hiding behind him as he led the way.

There were men everywhere. Each working on something or standing watch. Miguel asked you to close your eyes for a moment before he grabbed your hands and led you again. Something foul started to fill your nostrils.

You tried to breathe through your mouth, but you felt like puking. You were starting to get dizzy. Miguel must have noticed because he placed your head in his jacket. All you could smell was his cologne now and it eased you.

"We're here. It isn't a pleasant sight, baby." Miguel whispered.

Slowly raising your head, you glanced at two large metal doors. They slowly began to open. Once they were, you shuddered at the sight. There in the middle of the room was Eddie.

His face was unrecognizable and there was blood everywhere. His arms were tied to the ceiling and you swore you saw that his finger's were missing. His legs were broken and dangling as blood trickled down his body.

"Wake him up," Miguel demanded.

You yelped as Eddie screamed as cold water splashed against him. Just hearing his angry yell made you flinch. Acting on instinct, you hid behind Miguel and started to shake. You were terrified. Even as you saw Eddie tied up, you still held the fear of him attacking you.

"Fuck! You fucking asshole!" Eddie screamed. Miguel grinded his teeth as he felt you shake,

"Have you learned nothing?" Miguel asked, his arm snaking around your waist, "There's someone who wants to say something to you."

"Hahaha, what's that bitch going to say?! She's just a dumb little fuck doll." Eddie roared in laughter despite his pain. You felt tears form,

"I-I...I-I don't..." You whimpered but felt Miguel shake in anger, "I-I want him...t-to shut up," You begged. Miguel's lips twitched into a smirk,

"As you wish."

Miguel rubbed his thumbs over your eyes, signaling you to keep them close. He then placed some sort of headphones over your ears. They were soundproof so that you could hear nothing. Miguel hummed as he stole a quick kiss from you and proceeded to head to Eddie.

"She's really got you wrapped around her finger...or is she wrapped around your dick?" Eddie spat, forcing a laugh.

Miguel kept his glare towards Eddie as he kept his hand out. One of his men hurried and placed a knife in Miguel's hand. Ben was in the corner with a sewing kit, waiting for Miguel's order.

"Is shit talking how you ignore pain? We're going to have to take that away." Miguel whispered and slashed Eddie's clothes off, leaving him in nothing but his boxers, "You won't be able to do that much longer. (Y/N) demands your silence."

"I don't know what you see in her. She was only good for a quick fuck and her parent's supermarket." Eddie hissed. Miguel scoffed as he pressed the knife against Eddie's shoulder, slicing down, "Fuck!"

"Even if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand." He hissed, enjoying the blood drip before slicing another part of his body, "Each mark matches one of hers."

"Argh!! Fuck! Fuck! You're fucking insane! You fucking dick!" Eddie screamed. Miguel nearly laughed as he kept cutting Eddie,

"I'm insane?! (Y/N) should have never felt the need to cut herself! (Y/N) should have never been your stress relief! Each scar, each mark that you gave her...that she gave herself, I want you to have but double. I want you to feel her pain!"

Miguel couldn't help but smile as he listened to Eddie's screams. If only you were okay with hearing them. Miguel wanted you to feel the joy of enjoying his screams. Once Eddie was covered in marks, Miguel stepped back and threw the knife across the room.

With a snap of his fingers, Miguel went to wash his hands as Ben started to sew Eddie's lips shut. Once the deed was done, Miguel returned to you and took the headphones off. He kissed your head, watching you slowly flutter your eyes open,

"Now's your chance to say what you want to say."

"Mhm," You were hesitant, but slowly turned to face Eddie. You felt your stomach twist as you saw his lips sewn, "Y-You...You caused me n-nothing but pain!!! I-I hate y-you so much!!! I-I'm glad you're s-suffering now!!" You cried.

Miguel smiled as he wrapped his arms around your waist. His intense glare towards Eddie, whom returned the same gesture. Miguel decided to have some more fun and kiss your neck and shoulder, smirking.

"Mhpm!" Eddie struggled. You inhaled sharply,

"F-FUCK YOU!!!"

This shocked both Eddie and Miguel. As much as Miguel wanted to laugh, he knew that this was a serious situation for you. Once calm, Miguel grabbed your hands and took you back to the car. You were a crying mess as you kept cussing Eddie out.

"You did good, baby," Miguel whispered. You sobbed, hugging onto Miguel once you got into the car, "Shh, it's okay. You did so good. Let me take you home to rest."

---------

You sniffed as you buried yourself in your plushes and stuffed animals. It was already late at night, but you were having trouble sleeping. You raised your head as Miguel entered the room with a mug in his hands.

"Here, some hot chocolate. This should help you sleep," He whispered, handing you the mug.

"T-Thank you," You whispered, slowly drinking the hot liquid.

"How do you feel?" Miguel asked for probably the tenth time today.

"...I-I want...I want to say ill...b-because even after all that...I-I'm still scared t-that...T-Telling him off...felt so good...S-Seeing him like that felt...good...but...sickening."

"I know. My secret life isn't for the faint of heart. I wanted to keep this side a secret from you, afraid that you'd leave me." Miguel sighed as he sat beside you.

"Miggy," You placed your mug aside and cuddled into his chest, "I-I trust you...so...so much...I don't care what you do...I love you, and I'm so happy...with you," You whispered.

Miguel hummed in response and pecked your lips before stroking your hair. It didn't take long for you to fall asleep. Miguel finally let out a exhale, relieved to hear those words from you. Today made him anxious about your feelings, but you did so well.

"Now, to see how tomorrow will go."

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Peter smiled brightly as he arrived in front of a gorgeous house outside the city. He fixed his suit and tie and approached the front door. The first thing he noticed was a small drawing at the bottom of the door. It gave him a light chuckle before ringing the door bell.

"Can I help you?" A man asked as he asked through the intercom. Peter cleared his throat,

"I'm here to escort you to the city for final negotiations with your supermarket." Peter hummed. The door opened, revealing an older couple.

"I thought we already finished negotiations. It was a one and done deal," The man huffed in anger. Peter kept his smile,

"Yes, but our boss always wants to make sure everyone is...happy." Peter lied. The older woman huffed a heavy sigh,

"A drive to city at this hour? You must be mad."

"Oh no, ma'am. Our boss has made a reservation in the finest hotel in the city for you two. He told me to make you as comfortable as possible."

"Well, in that case, I suppose we can go." The woman chirped, hurrying to prep a bag. The husband still scoffed,

"What a pain in the ass."

Peter's smile never faded as he watched the two fools fall into Miguel's trap. Approaching the car, Peter whipped his phone out to send a message to Miguel.

'(Y/N)'s parent's are taking the bait'

Miguel was nowhere near done with your revenge.

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next chapter

@migueloharacumslut @18lkpeters @deputy-videogamer @leahnicole1219 @synamonthy @thedevax @jolynesposts @thraetor @freehentai @2099hitmylineyline @vvampir3s @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @secretadmirerisnowonline @jadeloverxd @bunnibitez @oharasfilipinawife @randomgoosegame @lilbanas @daisy-artfield @axi-moore @mimiemie @darkfairy102190 @jazzyj1011 @mcmiracles @innercreationflower @spoderssimp @thel0velykey190 @moonvoidpng @yougavemeyourheartyouknow @scaleniusrm @love4saturn @nyxgoddessofchaos13 @slutty-chronicles @ghstypaint @migueloharastruelove @brainmatterdump @a060403 @trendyharold @yannauauau @kimivixen @angel-xx-1 @nxrdamp @miguelzslvtz @lynxslokley @wafflefries786 @pochapo @what-the-jams @flaps200 @ii-angelsrolltheireyes-ii @nakimushiohime @tojishugetiddies @aya-world @supercowgirl04 @mysteris-things @daisy-artfield @mcmiracles @alexa4040 @llama--drama @kpopscoups17130000 @havkjhdecs @ruexvn @tojishugetiddi @openup-yourmind @black-swan-blog27 @xstarsdiary @kiddisquacking @gachagator @yujyujj @emmyrxx @blackteamint @sockears @black-swan-blog27 @soraya-daydreams @byjessicalotufo @nanoinn @bunnibitez @aockskcw @l3laze @dimitri-needs-therapy

[hippiegoth97]

Into the Fire: An Eddie Munson x Reader Story Pt. 11

Collage by me :)

Master List

Part 10

Tag List: @rafescurtainbangz @voyeurmunson @xxbimbobunnyxx @taintedcigs @mediocredreams

@slowandsteddie @angel-munson @eldermayfield @munsonsbtch @babygorewhore

@rattkween86 @violetpixiedust @bimbobaggins69 @purplehazed-h @morning-rituals

@eddie-van-munson @msgexymunson @munsoneightysixx @impmunson @mysticalstar30

@jenniquinn @oneforthemunny @succubusmunson @ddeadly-succubus @prettyboyeddiemunson

@sanctumdemunson @stalactitekilla @s6raphic @hellfirenacht @birdysaturne

@ohmeg @h-ness1944 @pretendthisnameisclever @ahoyyharrington @micheledawn1975

@costellation-hunter @josephquinnsfreckles @leelei1980 @yourdailymemedelivery @spacedoutdaydreamer

Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: swearing, tobacco/alcohol references, vomit, illness, anxiety, intense anger, crying, arguing, meltdown, parental issues/resentment, mentions of death, angst, teasing, smut, handjob, intimate kissing, sexual frustration

Word Count: 15.1k

Divider by @strangergraphics

Part 11.1: Here Comes The Rain Again

Saturday, April 8th, 1989

You wake up the next morning, head absolutely pounding. You groan at the sun shining in through the window, rolling over to snuggle against Eddie. But you realize he's not lying next to you. You hear him outside of the van and the back door is sitting open. "Eds?" You call him, realizing you're hearing him make some strange noises. You crawl over to the door, and see Eddie vomiting onto the ground. "Oh, baby." You coo sympathetically, hopping out to help him. You walk over, putting a comforting hand on his back as he's bent over. He would speak, but his stomach has other ideas. He throws up again, violently painting the ground with the wine and sandwich he had last night. He's trembling, coated in sweat as he's standing in his underwear. "It's alright, let it out. I'm right here." You try your best to soothe him, there's not much else that can be done until he stops puking.

He finishes a couple minutes later, turning to lean against the side of the van. He's very pale, looking like he might pass out. He smiles weakly at you, wiping his mouth. "Sorry, angel. I can't imagine that's very attractive to look at. It seems whatever Wayne's got has passed on to me. I feel like absolute death right now."

"You sure you're not just hung over? We did get pretty drunk." You step closer to him, pressing your lips to his forehead. He's burning up, definitely not a hangover. "You've got a fever, Eddie. We gotta get you home and into bed, okay?"

"’Kay, I think you're gonna have to drive though. I'm seeing two of you right now, so that can't be good." He chuckles wryly, trying to steady his dizzied head.

"Oh, Eds." You tut at him, helping him sit down in the open doorway for a moment while you gather his clothes. You hardly think you can take him home only in his boxers, you doubt Wayne would like to see that. You grab his pants, shimmying them onto his trembling legs. You don't bother with the shoes, but you help him put his shirt back on, doing up most of the buttons. Eddie abruptly pushes you backwards, which you find odd. That is, until you see him bend over to throw up again. You let him be, shimmying back into your dress and slipping your heels off. You also sort out the mess of items you hastily bundled up in the plaid blanket last night. You don't want anything to get broken while you drive him home.

"God, I swear my stomach is turning inside out." Eddie whimpers, and your heart sinks. You hate to see him like this, you wish you could make it all go away. But, he's been there for you when you've been sick, and now it's your turn to take care of him.

"I know, love. Let's get you in the van, okay?" You say softly. He nods, and you sling his arm over your shoulder and walk him to the passenger side. It's a bit difficult, you're not used to carrying his weight like this. You soldier on, for his sake. You open the door and he slides into the seat, slumping miserably against the worn leather. You close the door, quickly going to the driver's side. You hop in, pulling your door shut. You turn the key to start up the engine, when you realize you've never driven such a big vehicle before. Hell, you've barely driven your mom's car since she uses it for work.

"You okay, angel?" Eddie asks, noticing your uncertainty. You meet his gaze, nodding quickly.

"Yeah, I've just never driven something so big before. But I gotta get you home, so now is as good a time as ever to learn I guess." You sigh, before continuing. "You might wanna put your seatbelt on." He does as you ask, wincing with every move. His muscles ache terribly, and he can't stop shaking.

"Just please don't get us killed, that's all I ask. Although, the plague currently ravaging my goddamn insides might do that anyways." He groans, clutching his stomach helplessly. He rolls down the window in case he needs to throw up again. He's pretty sure your driving won't help the situation.

"I won't. Okay...here we go." You shift gears, looking as best you can behind you as you reverse onto the gravel road. You press your stocking-clad foot to the gas, you've never driven without shoes before, either. You manage to pull it off, so far so good. You put it in drive, taking things slow as you roll down the path to make your way to the trailer park. You would try to talk to Eddie like you always do on your drives. Given his current state, and your uneasiness behind the wheel, it's probably best to keep things quiet. You feel Eddie's clammy hand on your thigh, throwing him a quick glance.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm sure this isn't how you expected the morning to go. I had so much more I wanted to do with you today." His eyes are so sad, he's practically in tears in his illness-induced delirium. He feels awful for ruining the remainder of your anniversary, and he plans to make it up to you any way he can.

"Baby, it's okay. It's not your fault. You can't control when you're sick. We can do everything you want and more once you're better. But right now, all I want is to get you tucked into bed and take care of you." Your hand briefly leaves the steering wheel to lay over his. This proves to be a mistake, though, as you swerve a little bit on the road. "Shit." You grab full hold of it again, and Eddie lunges to the right to put his head out the window to vomit. "Sorry, that was stupid of me." You wince, the sound of his stomach emptying itself is doing nothing for your hangover. You hold back a gag, keeping yourself together until you can get him home.

You're hoping you don't get whatever Eddie has. You've got finals this week and you can't afford to miss them. Besides a splitting headache and post-drunk queasiness, you feel absolutely fine. You don't usually get sick. Whenever the flu or colds spread through school or home, they almost always skip over you. Or, at worst you'll feel a bit oogy for a day or two. Eddie spits the remaining bile from his mouth, wiping it with the back of his hand. "Fuck, I really hope you don't get this. I'm also sorry for potentially infecting you." He slouches in his seat again, keeping his eyes shut as the trees passing by are making him even more dizzy. Every bump and turn on the road isn't exactly helping either.

"I'll be okay either way, Eddie. Don't worry about that right now." You reassure him, focusing on the road ahead. A little bit later, you pull up to his trailer. You hop out, running to his door to help him. There's some vomit on the handle, but you can't be bothered to care about that. You just quickly pull the door open, assisting Eddie to make your way inside. He shivers uncontrollably, to him it's like the world is made of ice. You walk up the steps and in through the front door, finding Wayne laid up on the couch watching TV. He notices you struggling to walk with Eddie leaning against you, getting up to help.

"What happened?" He asks as worry laces his voice. He can pretty much guess what’s going on, due to the greenish hue of his nephew’s face.

"He's very sick, Wayne. Woke up to him puking his guts out a little bit ago." You explain, letting him assist you to lead your poor boyfriend to bed.

"Ugh, please don't say 'puke'." Eddie groans, the mere mention of such a thing makes him want to ralph. His eyes widen, realizing it's going to happen again. "Bathroom. Now." He whimpers, and you two quickly get him there just in time. You're surprised there's still something in him to be let out, but he sure seems to be unleashing absolute hell in the toilet. Which reminds you, you're not exactly doing so hot after drinking heavily last night. You push past Wayne, running down the hall to the kitchen. He calls after you, wondering if you're alright. But you can't speak, the only thing coming out of your mouth right now is last night's dinner. You locate the trash can, dropping to your knees as your own stomach rejects its contents. You hear footsteps coming towards you, heavier than Eddie's. Wayne kneels beside you, stroking your back.

"You gonna be alright, kiddo?" He asks, thankful he's passed on from the vomit stage of his illness. He hates to see you two in such a state, he knows you had plans to spend a romantic night and next day together. He mentally curses his dumbass coworker, Kevin, who spread his fuckin' pestilence through the whole damn plant. Everyone has been out at least once this week, and some have even ended up in the ER from being so ill. And now he's given it to Eddie, and possibly you, too.

"I'm alright. I had too much to drink last night, I'm fine otherwise. But Eddie’s in pretty bad shape." You reply once you've finished, sitting back against the kitchen cabinets. You feel a little better now, actually. However, a glass of water and some Tylenol certainly wouldn’t hurt.

"Well, I'm glad you're alright. Mostly." He chuckles, helping you stand. He gets a couple glasses from the cabinet, filling them with water from the tap. He also retrieves a bottle of aspirin for you, setting one glass along with the pills beside you. "Here, I figure that'll help. I'll warn ya, it might taste a bit metallic. It won't hurt ya, I drink the stuff just fine."

"Thanks, Wayne." You happily accept the water, popping a couple pills into your mouth before chugging the whole glass.

"You wanna take this to him? I think he’d prefer you over me." He hands you the other cup, and you nod as you take it in your grasp. You walk back down the hall, finding Eddie laying in the fetal position on the tile floor. He's whining helplessly, squirming like an electrified worm.

You sit down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He opens his eyes, looking at you hopelessly. "Baby, let me help you sit up, okay?" Eddie nods through his tremors, letting you position him upright against the bathtub. You bring the glass to his lips, holding it for him so he doesn't spill. "Open, you need to hydrate." You kindly instruct. He listens, apprehensively allowing you to tip the glass so a little water flows into his mouth. He swallows, the cool liquid refreshing his senses. You set the glass down, not wanting to give him too much at once. "Let's get you to bed."

"Okay." Eddie answers weakly, putting his arm around your shoulder once more. You manage to get him to his room, sitting him on the edge of the bed. You go back to the other room to retrieve his water, setting it on the bedside table. You help him out of his clothes, finding some clean underwear and pajamas to dress him in instead. You notice vomit in his nice shirt, and make a note to do a load of laundry for him while you're here.

You hear the phone ring in the living room, and Wayne picks up. After a moment, he calls to you. "Y/N, it's your mother callin'."

"Stay right here, baby. I'll be right back." You give Eddie a kiss on the cheek, leaving once more, closing the door behind you. You jog down the hall, taking the phone from Wayne's hand. "Thanks." You say to him briefly, putting the phone to your ear. "Hey, Mom."

"Sugarpuff, are you alright? I know you were spending the night with Eddie, but I just wanted to check in." She sounds worried again, like something else might be going on.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Well, Eddie's sick today and I'm gonna take care of him. I'll need a ride later tonight, if that's okay." You reply, wondering what could be the problem on her end. She knew where you'd be, and she knows you're cautious and have Eddie to protect you.

"That's fine, sweetie. There's something else, though." The tone in her voice is freaking you out, setting off alarm bells inside your head.

"What is it?" You contemplate a million possibilities, but you can't think of anything outside of your unrealistic anxious fantasies.

"It's your father, Y/N. He's...he's dead, honey." Your breath catches in your throat at this news, though you're not sure how you feel about it. You don't feel sad, nor really shocked, either. You haven't seen him in almost ten years, does it really matter that he’s dead? He decided long ago that you don't matter enough to call, or visit, or even send a damn birthday card to. So, why would it matter to you that he's gone? You've made your peace with it, at least you thought so. As far you're concerned, you haven't had a living father in a decade. "Y/N? Sweetie?" You hear Mom trying to regain your attention.

"Sorry, I just don't really know...what to say. How do you know this, anyway?" You ask curiously. Dad’s done a pretty good job of hiding himself away, moving across the country and leaving no forwarding address or phone number.

"Well...Angie called me. She said he died in a car accident, and she wants to have the funeral here. She also wants their kids to meet you and Dusty." She replies apprehensively. You scoff at the idea, rolling your eyes. Of course, daddy bites the dust and his whore wants you to meet his new rugrats. No fucking thank you.

"And what did you say? I'd hope you told them to fuck off." You can feel yourself becoming overwhelmingly angry. How dare these fucking people that stole your dad away from you have the goddamn nerve to ask for such a favor? You don't care who these stupid people are, they are NOT your family.

"Sugarpuff! Language! I said it would be fine, they'll be in town anyway. Everyone knows Angie, and what happened with her and George. We might as well play nice and try to make the best of it." Mom doesn't exactly sound thrilled by the idea, but you can't believe she would ever agree to this.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me! Play nice! I'd rather lick the bottom of Lover's Lake than make nice with that whore and her stupid offspring! You do what you want, but I am NOT going to that bastard's funeral. And I'm certainly not going to entertain this bullshit idea of a 'family'. HE gave up on us, Mom! HE walked away and never looked back! So HE can have his new family mourn him, I want NO PART IN IT!" You can't believe the words coming out of your mouth right now, you've never spoken to your mother in such a way before. Anger is coursing through you viciously, you just can't stop yourself. You decide to hang up before she can respond. You don't want to deal with this right now. You slam the phone back onto the receiver, the dinging noise ringing in your ears.

"Jesus." Wayne looks at you with wide eyes, unable to believe you'd use such foul language towards your mother like that. He's about to try to talk to you about it, but you just put a hand up to stop him.

"Save it, okay? I mean no disrespect, but I really just want to focus on Eddie right now. I'm sure I'll get an earful later." Your nostrils flare as you practically stomp your way back down the hallway to Eddie's room. You shut the door, careful not to slam it as you're sure his uncle really won't appreciate that.

"You alright, princess? I heard you shouting." Eddie looks at you cautiously, noticing your knitted brows and impossibly reddened face. You're absolutely pissed, even more so than the time you two fought about Chrissy. You pace back and forth on the small amount of floorspace he has, trying to get yourself to calm down. But you can't, no matter how hard you try.

You just see George's stupid face, glancing at you with no expression, as he packs his suitcases into his car before driving off, never to be seen again. No hug, no kiss, not even the words 'good-bye' pass his lips. You see the movers taking half the furniture away to the new home he bought with his whore a week later. You see Mom crying on the floor where the old couch used to be, wedding photos spread across the carpet in absolute tatters as she shreds them with the scissors from the kitchen drawer. You see little Dustin at nine years old, sobbing in his Star Wars pajamas for his daddy, begging to know when he'll come back home. But most of all, you see yourself at age twelve. Standing in your room in front of your vanity, wondering why the three of you weren't enough as tears stain your cheeks.

You're seeing red. Angry, enraged, frustrated, painful, deep, dark fucking red. You want to scream and cry and break everything in sight. You want to claw your eyes out and tear your hair out in clumps. You want to punch a thick wall of concrete until all your fingers shatter, bash your skull against it. You want to go to that fucking funeral, and break open the fucking casket, and rip his fucking corpse apart. You're beyond rational thinking, unaware of anything going on around you. You can't hear Eddie asking you if you're alright, you can't see him trying to get your attention. All you can see is the pain that the man who unfortunately provided the sperm to create you has brought to your family. The only thing that snaps you out of it is Eddie standing in front of you, holding your shoulders firmly in his grasp as he looks at you. "What?" You say as you're yanked out of your own head, almost shocked to see him out of bed. Your chest is heaving, breath flaring out in harsh puffs. You soften a little, realizing Eddie's concerned about you.

"What's wrong, Y/N?" He implores, eyes searching yours for an answer. You've scared the hell out of him, watching you move back and forth like that was like nothing he's ever seen before. From anyone, even himself. You looked like a feral animal, ready to attack the first thing that got in your way. He's forgotten about his sickness altogether, too worried about what the hell is going on with you.

"My dad died." Those three words are all you can muster, it's like all emotion has been sucked out of you like a vacuum. You've spent it all having a mini breakdown, you're surprised you didn't punch Eddie in the face when he stood in your way. You didn't want to hurt him, obviously. It would’ve been more of a reflex thing.

"Okay? I take it that's not all, though. You wanna talk about it?" He asks, leading you to sit down with him.

"I guess. If you want. I can't guarantee I won't become unreasonably angry again." You sigh, worried he might think you're crazy for acting in such a way. But he just holds your hand, lifting your chin to gaze at you lovingly.

"I doubt it's unreasonable, Y/N. I've never seen you get like this before, and I doubt it was for nothing." His tone is calm, void of judgment. Eddie can tell this news is tearing you up inside, he can't say he wouldn't feel the same if his own father died while rotting in prison. "Lay down with me, baby. Tell me everything." You do as he asks, cuddling up with him under the covers. You lay your head on his chest, and he holds you close with his strong arms.

"So, Mom said Dad died in a car accident. Angie called her to tell her about it. I'm surprised she even thought to do such a thing. She had no issue stealing him away from us, I didn't think she was capable of a guilty conscience." You speak bitterly, brows furrowing again.

"I take it Angie is the woman your father ran off with?" He asks, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, that fucking whore. They had a couple kids together, by the sounds of it. Real nice, it's like me and Dusty never even existed." You're startled by how amped up you're getting, hoping you don't lose control again. But you continue, focusing on Eddie's fingers lightly stroking your arm. "Angie wants to have the funeral in Hawkins, and she wants us to meet their kids." You practically spit those final words, they taste like poison in your mouth.

"What the fuck?" He says, surprised that your father’s mistress would be so bold as to ask for such a big favor.

"Yeah! Right? That's what I said! But Mom already agreed to it, for the sake of saving face, I guess. People around town know about her, and how she ran off with Dad. Maybe she thinks it's better to go so Angie can't spread bullshit about us to his old friends, or something, I dunno." You end on a shrug, nuzzling further into him.

"So...what was the shouting for?" Eddie's a little afraid to ask, not wanting to set you off again.

"I told her I'm not fucking doing that. Angie and whoever their kids are is his family now. Dad died nine years ago in my eyes. I have nothing to mourn for. I may have yelled at Mom, though, swore a lot. And I never speak to her like that. Ever." You tear up at the thought, you regret being so vulgar and mean.

"Jesus, Y/N." He sighs, a bit disappointed in you. You should know your mother wasn't meaning to upset you. It's not her fault that this is happening.

"I know, okay? I feel awful about it, and I'm sure she'll give me a stern lecture when she picks me up later. But, I was just so fucking angry. That bitch has the nerve to ask us for favors? When she destroyed the family we had in exchange for one for herself? She can go to hell for all I care." You shove your face against his shirt, letting the tears fall as frustrated sadness takes hold.

"It's alright, sweetheart. This shit sucks. I can't imagine what it must be like. But I'm here for you, ‘kay?" He coos at you, putting a hand on your head to caress your hair as you cry. He hates seeing you so upset, this whole thing makes him mad for you. You stay like this for a while, just holding each other close until your tears eventually dry up.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm meant to be taking care of you right now, and here you are looking after me again." You sniffle, getting out of bed to do what you've been meaning to since you found him ill this morning.

"It's fine, love. I think ‘dead dad’ beats ‘stomach flu’ in a relationship." He smiles at you, sitting up against the headboard.

"If  you say so. I'm gonna take your temperature and get you some soup. Drink your water, okay?" You instruct him, kicking into nurse mode. You're hiding again, giving in to that familiar reflex. You've told him pretty much everything, but there's something else. Part of you wants to go to the funeral, to let everyone know just how 'great' their friend/husband/father was. You doubt you'll be allowed to speak your piece, that's typically not on the agenda in the ceremony of mourning.

You go back to the kitchen, looking around the pantry for a can of chicken noodle soup. You locate one, opening it up and pouring the contents into a pot to heat up on the stove. Once it's ready, you transfer it to a bowl, bringing it back to Eddie on a tray along with some saltines and a glass of apple juice. "For me? You shouldn't have." He jokes, though he's not sure he'll be able to keep the food down for long. You seem off to him still, he's not sure why. But he's not gonna let you close yourself off, especially not with something like this. "Baby, what's wrong? And do not say 'nothing'." He says as you place the tray of food on his lap. Your eyes meet his, annoyed by how deadly serious he is.

You sigh, he's developed a knack for being so painfully intuitive with you. "Just a second, I gotta find your thermometer." You're stalling, leaving once more to dig through his medicine cabinet. You find what you're looking for, returning to his bedside to stick it in his mouth. He grunts at the sudden action, glaring at you as he holds the glass rod under his tongue. "Oh, hush." You sit sideways next to him, waiting for the reading. Eddie's eyes refuse to leave yours. He wants you to spill it, now. "Alright, alright! Stop staring at me like that, dammit!" You exclaim, his persistence is so irritating sometimes. "Look, much as I hate the whole situation, part of me wants to go. Not to meet Angie, not to meet her kids. But to tell everyone how awful of a person Dad is for leaving. Fat chance of that happening, though." You look down at your hands, picking your cuticles.

"Probably not. People don't take kindly to disrespecting the dead." Eddie says, taking the thermometer out of his mouth. He hands it to you, letting you read it. 100 degrees exactly, definitely a fever.

"Disrespect? I'd call it deserved." You retort, setting the thermometer on the nightstand.

"Sweetheart, I whole-heartedly agree with you. You should have every right to say what you want about him, but I can't imagine Angie or those kids would like to hear something like that. Would you, if you were in their place?"

You think about it for a moment, you've never considered how they might feel. It can't be easy for them, you're sure they loved him a lot. But his departure broke your family's hearts, and you feel like someone needs to pay. "I guess not. But,  that doesn't change what he did, Eddie." You don't want to budge on this, you don't want to make nice and play pretend. You feel like you're owed the opportunity to say what's on your mind, after so many years of biting your tongue.

"Of course not, angel. I'm not trying to justify what he did at all, far from it. I'm just worried that in your little crusade for justice you're having in your head, you might end up hurting someone else. And that's not right, either." Your own temperature seems to be rising, at least in the way of your emotions. You're getting aggravated again, you don't want to sit and moralize about how right or wrong what you want is.

"Well, maybe I don't want to be right. I'm always doing that, what's 'right'. Holding my tongue, staying out of trouble, nose dug deep in my textbooks. Such a well-behaved girl, sweet little Y/N wouldn't hurt a fly." You speak maliciously, though it's not directed at him. His eyes widen as you speak, realizing you're ramping up again. "Maybe I want to be a bitch for once. Make them feel just a sliver of what I've felt for nine fucking years. Sounds plenty fair to me." Your nails dig into your knees, making holes in your stockings. You're nearing the boiling point again, breathing so hard it almost hurts. You hate feeling so out of control, it’s like you're going insane.

Eddie reaches over to touch your arm."Sweetheart一" You shrug him off, standing up again.

"I gotta go." You blurt as you try desperately to not break down crying again.

"What? Why?" He asks, confused as to what's happening. He doesn't want you to leave. You shouldn't be alone right now.

"I just...don't like how I'm being right now, okay? I-I need to breathe, get some air. I'm gonna walk home. I gotta apologize to Mom anyway, deal with whatever shit-show is going on with all that. Yeah." You're talking too fast, frantically coming up with an escape plan. You don't want to leave Eddie like this, but you can't be around him right now.

"Y/N一" He's about to plead with you, but you just shake your head.

"Don't beg me to stay, okay? I can't take that right now. I want to take care of you, but my mind is in an awful, ugly place. I sound like a monster and I don't want you to hate me." You explain, needing him to understand.

"I could never hate you, princess." He insists, begging with his eyes for you to come back to him.

"You don't know that, Eds." You reply without thinking, taking both of you aback with the words. You shake your head again, regaining focus. "But that's not the point. Point is, I need to leave right now. I'm too angry to be a good nurse, and it's not going to simmer down anytime soon. I'm not hiding, I swear. Eat your soup, drink your juice, alright? And call me later if you're up to it, or I'll call you. Whichever. I'm gonna get my things from the van, and I'll put the keys in the glove compartment, or something."

"Y/N." He's about to get out of bed, but you put a hand on his leg to stop him.

"Stay in bed. You need to rest. You don't need to deal with me acting like this right now, I'll be okay. I promise." You go over to him, leaning down to press a kiss on his hot forehead. "I'll visit you tomorrow, darling. I love you."

"I love you too, princess. Please call me when you get home? I wanna make sure you get there safe." He hates this day. Him being sick, your dad dying, and now you're leaving him earlier than you planned. He's always been worried about you, but today is something else. You're so angry, bitter, violent, even. It scares him, but he’s aware it's nothing compared to how you feel about yourself. It must be absolute hell inside your brain, all kinds of overwhelming emotions clashing against one another. His heart breaks for you, he can't help a couple tears falling from his own eyes on your behalf. He cares so deeply about you, although he knows you need a little time on your own. You've gotten to a point where you won't run away for the sake of not talking things through. He trusts your choice, even if he doesn't like it.

"Oh, Eddie. Don't cry, I'll be okay. I'll call you as soon as I walk through the front door." You reassure him as your own waterworks start up again.

"I just hate being away from you. You mean everything to me. And I don't like seeing you so upset, you deserve to be happy, love." He cups your cheek, gazing at you meaningfully. You lean in to kiss him, but he holds you back. "I don't want you to get sick, baby."

"I don't care about that. With all the kissing and fucking yesterday, I'm already doomed. Now, kiss me goodbye, please?" You bite your lip, though it trembles between your teeth from crying. He lets you make contact with him, your salty tears mingling together on each other's cheeks. Today has been a whirlwind for both of you, and it takes everything in you to pull away until you come back tomorrow. "I love you, Eddie." You say with a shuddering breath, resting your forehead against his.

"I love you too, Y/N. So much." His voice is strained, the sting of stomach acid and tears takes a toll after a while. He can't stand the idea of you leaving right now. He'd pull you onto him and not let go, if it wouldn't spill hot soup everywhere.

"Okay." You sigh, standing up to separate yourself. "I'm gonna go, but I'll call, and I'll be back tomorrow to spend the whole day with you."

"Promise?" He asks, giving you his best puppy eyes. You giggle at his gesture. He’s highly capable of making you smile, even at your lowest points.

"I promise. Eat, rest, and no smoking until you're better!" You instruct, pointing a finger at him. He grumbles at that last part, but agrees that it's probably best. You step to the doorway, looking back at him one last time. "Goodbye, Eddie."

"Bye, love. Be careful out there." You nod, closing the door behind you and making one final trip down the hall. Wayne's digging around in the fridge now, looking for something to eat.

"Back again, huh? What's the little prince need this time?" He speaks jokingly, until he sees your red, puffy face. "You okay, darlin'?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm just gonna go home for now, apologize to my mother. I'll call Eddie when I make it back home, and come by again tomorrow." You explain, before heading for the door.

"Good. I was a little worried there's some trouble in paradise."

"No, no. Nothing like that, just dumb family stuff. Believe me, I have no intention of letting Eddie go anytime soon. Or maybe ever." You muse, smiling for the first time in hours. He chuckles at your words, more than glad to see how much you love his nephew.

"That's what I like to hear. He says the same thing 'bout you every day. And I know it's too early to have any kinda marriage talk, but seein' the way you've made ‘im happy? Well, let's just say I'd be proud to call you my niece."

"Thanks, that means a lot." You're not sure how else to respond to his statement, but it's very sweet.

"And I hope whatever it is you got goin' on gets better, Y/N. You're a sweet girl, and it pains me to see a pretty face so sad." He shows deep concern for you, you’re looking a little ragged. Your hair is messy, your makeup smudged and streaked down your face, your dress wrinkled, and a few holes in your stockings.

"I appreciate that, Wayne. You're very kind. I'm gonna head home now. Can you make sure he doesn't smoke in there? I have an inkling he might try to do it when I'm not here." You laugh, already imagining Eddie lighting up the second he hears the front door close.

"No problem, darlin'. Be safe out there, alright?" He's always so kind to you, treating you like you belong here. The second Eddie brought you home, it was like you were family to him. Who knows, maybe you will be one day.

"I will, don't worry." You pull open the front door, stepping out into the early afternoon sun. It's pretty warm out today, it shouldn't be a bad walk home. You go to the van to retrieve your things, hiding the keys in the glove compartment like you said you would. You put on your heels, it's slightly better than going barefoot.

The walk takes longer than you expect, but you suppose that's what you need right now. Lots of solitary time to navigate the storm of emotions swimming around your head. You cry for a while as you walk, watering the grass with your tears. You miss Eddie already, and it makes you want to turn back. But you also miss your mom, and she needs you just a little bit more right now. You're very angry as well, grumbling to yourself every now and again when nobody's around. You hate your father, but you've never really thought about it much until now. You hate what he did, and that he started a whole new family. And going by what Angie wants, he talked about you like you were still in his life. Bastard. He sure as hell didn't act like it, but had no problem using you in conversation when it was convenient for him. You find yourself walking up your driveway about an hour later, your body getting you home on autopilot. "Sugarpuff?" Mom asks as she sees you stumble in the front door.

"Jesus, are you alright?" Dustin pipes up, noticing how fucked up you look. You slip your shoes off, not realizing the walk has left you blistered and bleeding. You toss the heels haphazardly on the shoe rack, not caring where they land.

"You look terrible, Y/N. What happened?" Mom rushes over to you, taking you in a big hug. You tense up in her arms, before relaxing into the embrace. You burst into tears again, burying your face against her chest.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry for yelling and swearing at you. I'm sorry for being so mean一" you frantically apologize, unable to stop as you choke on your words.

"Honey, it's okay. Shh, it's okay." She strokes your back, trying to calm you down. Dustin joins the hug beside you, holding the three of you together in a nice warm bundle. You can hear them crying, too. It's just one big blubbering day for everyone, apparently. You're tired of the tears, but it's all you can manage. Your head hurts, and your stomach is cramping as you haven't eaten anything yet. And you suppose you need to know what the plan with all the funeral bullshit is, to know who or what to avoid, and when.

"Okay, I need to call Eddie. I also need to shower and eat something. I haven't had anything all day. And then you can tell me what the hell Angie wants." You wriggle out of the huddle, picking up the phone after stating your plan.

"So things are okay with Eddie, then? I was a little worried, given the state you're in." Mom says, breathing a sigh of relief that you're not nursing a broken heart.

"He's fine, I didn't wanna leave him when he's sick. But I'm needed more here." You dial his number, hearing it ring three times before being picked up. Wayne answers.

"Yello?" His gruff tone comes through the receiver.

"Hey, Wayne. It's Y/N, is Eddie awake?" You ask, hoping he is. You need to hear his voice again.

"Yeah, lemme get 'im for ya." He sets the phone down, you hear his footsteps recede down the hall. A moment later, Eddie picks up.

"Hey, angel. You get home alright?" He sounds so tired, you hope you didn't wake him.

"Yeah, I'm okay. My feet hurt, but it's fine. How are you doing? Did you eat your soup?"

"Yes, my love. Drank all my juice, too, like a good little patient. I still feel pretty awful. I wish you were still here, snuggled up in my arms." Sadness stains his words, sending sharp pangs through your chest.

"I know, baby. I'll be back tomorrow.. I'm gonna bring you some stuff to help you feel better, and I'm not leaving your side all day." You sweetly promise.

"You better! I hate being without you, sweetheart. Wayne's great and all, but I don't get to kiss him or call him cutesy names." He jokes, making you giggle. "There's my happy girl, I missed that laugh today."

"Yeah, I'm sorry today kinda went to shit." You can't help feeling guilty. From an outside perspective, it would seem you put your temper ahead of caring for your boyfriend.

"Relax, Y/N. There's nothing to feel bad about. I can already see the look on your face, don't beat yourself up." He always knows just what to say to make you feel better. You can't help smiling like an idiot when you're reminded of just how much he loves you.

"I'll try not to, Eds. I'm gonna let you rest, okay? You definitely need it." You hate to cut this conversation short, but you both have other things to worry about.

"I will. Be kind to yourself, Y/N. I love you." He speaks softly, the words sending calming waves through your body.

"I love you too, darling. I'll see you tomorrow." You hang up the phone, sighing as you let some of the weight of today fall off your shoulders. Eddie has a way of melting your stress away, almost like a superpower. "I'm gonna take a shower." You announce, glancing in Mom and Dustin's direction. They just nod, faces red and splotchy from today's news. You walk down the hall, shutting the bathroom door behind you. You peel your dress from your body, it smells like vomit,  soaked in sweat from your walk. The lingerie set isn't doing much better, so you leave everything crumpled in a stinking pile to be dealt with later.

You turn on the water, letting it warm up just the way you like it. You stand at the sink, looking at your reflection as the room fills with steam. You're an absolute mess, and you don't feel much better, either. You’re sure it's just a hangover. But, today has taken a serious toll on you. Your body aches from the miles you’ve traveled today, you hate the idea of standing up any longer to wash yourself. The hot water should help a little, loosen your sore muscles and wash away the caked makeup. There's also a sour taste in your mouth, so you decide to brush your teeth. The tingle of cool spearmint thankfully forces the bitter flavor to recede, and the shower is ready for you shortly after.

You step under the showerhead, letting the water rush over you. This is exactly what you need right now, although you've gotten used to having a partner here with you. You sigh again, cursing yourself for missing Eddie. He's going to be fine. You're going to be fine. It's hard to remember that sometimes, your brain finds worrying to be a rather thrilling hobby. You scrub the makeup off your face, reaching for the shampoo to clean your hair. You take your time, working the various soaps over your body to wash your troubles away. Once you're finished, you step out onto the cool tiles, wrapping yourself in a towel. You scoop your dirty clothes off the floor, tossing them in the hamper in your bedroom. The towel falls from your naked body, and you get into some comfy pajamas. "Alright, so what does Angie have planned, exactly?" You ask as you rejoin the others in the kitchen to rustle up a late lunch. Your stomach is begging for food, and you don't care what it is at this point.

"Come sit with us at the table, and we'll talk it over." Mom says, gesturing at a seat between her and Dustin. You grab some string cheese and an apple, something easy enough to eat before sitting down with them. "Okay, so Angie plans to have the funeral next Friday at 5pm. She'd like us all to be there, but before that she wants us to have dinner with her and the kids on Wednesday as they'll be in town to finalize the arrangements."

"Do we really have to do this?" Dustin asks, not exactly keen to meet some strange kids and hang around the woman who took Dad away from all of you.

"Yes, Dusty! We all do. I don't want to hear an argument about it, and I certainly don't want any fighting or name-calling either!" She warns, flicking stern eyes between the two of you.

"This is such bullshit." Dustin crosses his arms, wishing there was a way out of this.

"Language! Look, I'm not pleased about this, either. But he's dead, kiddos. There's nothing we can change about the past, no matter how much we want to. But what we can do is try to come together as a family and make a better future. We don't need to keep holding on to anger and resentment. We have to let it go." You're surprised she's handling this so well, she definitely took Dad leaving in the first place terribly. She cried for weeks, living off of wine and ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You had to step in to take care of yourself and Dustin while she grieved, and that certainly wasn't easy.

"You make it sound so simple. But you know damn well it isn't." You reply, still easily sent into pure rage at the mere thought of moving on and letting go.

"I didn't say it would be easy, kids. But that's the way it is. I don't want to hear any more about it. There's not going to be any more debate or discussion. You're both going to that dinner and the funeral, and you're gonna be on your best behavior." Claudia stands her ground. You and Dustin groan simultaneously, acting like petulant children.

"Can I at least bring Eddie? Otherwise, I dunno if I'll be able to last five minutes without throttling that whore's neck." You ask.

"Fine! But only because he's a good young man that knows how to keep you together. Now, that's the end of it. No excuses, no tantrums, no nothing. You just go, and play nice for a few hours. Alright?" You both nod sheepishly at her, not wanting to anger her any further. "And stop calling her a whore, dammit! She has a name, and you will show her respect by using it!" She adds, putting an end to the conversation.

"Okay, sorry." You apologize, though you don't really mean it. Angie is a whore, no matter how anyone wants to dress it up. She went after a married man. Her boss. Your father. She broke up your family, and you'll never forgive her for that. But you know how to fake it. You've been doing that for as long as you can remember. What difference will a few more times really make?

Part 11.2: Bad Medicine

Sunday, April 9th, 1989

"There's my sexy nurse! I've missed you, baby." Eddie calls to you as you walk in his front door on Sunday morning. You biked over after a short trip to the supermarket to gather some get-well supplies. He's laying on the couch to watch TV, covered up in a cozy blanket. There's various objects splayed about his lap, a paperback novel, D&D stuff, his sketchbook, and various writing utensils.

"And how's my handsome patient?" You reply, putting your backpack on the kitchen table with a thump.

"Still pretty awful, but Wayne's all better. He's actually working a double today to make up for the time he lost." He says as you come over to him. He sits up against the armrest, letting you clear the mess away before sitting at his side. His eyes have bags under them, he must not have slept much. And he's so pale, with a light sheen of sweat glistening on his face and neck.

"Still pukey?" You feel his forehead with your lips, still noticing a bit of a fever.

"A little. Much less than yesterday. But my head is killing me, and I keep going hot and cold."  He answers. You glance around to see if the thermometer is out here, realizing it might still be in Eddie's room.

"I'll be right back, Eds." You say simply, getting up to retrieve the little glass instrument. You locate it on his nightstand, just where you left it yesterday. You notice some fresh cigarette butts in his ashtray, the little shit smoked when you explicitly told him not to. You suppose it shouldn't be a big deal, he's twenty-three for fuck's sake. But it'll make him take longer to get better, and you hate to see him so miserable. You return to the room, standing next to the couch with a stern look on your face.

"What's wrong, angel?" He seems nervous, like he knows he's been caught. He swallows hard, worried you'll be angry with him.

"Eddie, did you smoke after I asked you not to?" You cross your arms, waiting for his response. He averts your gaze, your stare making him anxious.

"Maybe." He mumbles, cursing himself for not emptying the ashtray earlier.

You sigh, at least he's not lying about it. "Look, I know it's a strong habit for you. It's getting to be that way for me, too. But if you keep doing it while you're sick, it's just gonna take longer for you to get better." He scowls at you, annoyed at being treated like a child. You just roll your eyes, continuing your mini lecture. "You're a grown man, you can do what you want. I'm not gonna stop you, I'm only trying to help. You don't want to stay sick for longer than you have to, do you?"

"I suppose not." He replies in resignation, crossing his own arms now. Eddie apparently gets quite bratty when he's sick. He's lucky it's a cute look on him.

You know exactly what to say to convince him to stop smoking, letting a mischievous smirk spread across your face. You sit down once more, leaning in real close to look deep into his eyes. "You know....the sooner you get better, the sooner I can give you head and have sex with you." You tease in a sing-song voice, making his eyes widen.

"Fine! Fine, I'll stop. It's gonna be absolute hell, though, nicotine withdrawal is no joke." He grumbles, letting you confiscate his cigs and lighter.

"I know, baby. But I'm gonna make it all better, okay?" You take hold of his clammy hand, bringing it to your lips to kiss it. Eddie softens at your touch, he tells himself he can go a couple days without his smokes. "Did you sleep at all? You look exhausted."

"Uh, not really. Was too busy shivering and barfing." He yawns, struggling to keep his eyes open. You gesture for him to keep his mouth agape, gently placing the thermometer under his tongue. He hates the damn thing, paranoid he might bite too hard on it one day and hurt himself.

"I'm sorry, love. I feel awful for leaving early yesterday. Maybe you'd be better off today if I had stayed." Seeing him in such a state has made your heart ache with guilt, you couldn't keep yourself together for a few hours to take care of him when he needed you most. You feel like a terrible girlfriend right about now, letting anger take control like that was so selfish. Eddie hands off the thermometer again, though you're not sure it was in long enough to get an accurate reading.

"I would be exactly the same, Y/N. The only thing that would be different is you having a higher chance of getting sick. It was probably best for you to go home when you did. Speaking of, how are you doing?" He can tell you're beating yourself up again, it reads like a blinking neon sign on your face. He hates it when you do that, you're so hard on yourself when you don't need to be.

"I'm fine, not sick at all. I am kinda tired, yesterday took a lot out of me." You realize how silly you sound, complaining about being tired when your boyfriend is fighting off a nasty flu. "It doesn't matter, I'm here to take care of you." You shake your head and force a smile to convince him it's not a big deal. He's your priority right now, nothing else.

"Sweetheart, it matters to me that you're alright. I don't want you to pretend you're fine if you're not. I may be sick as a dog, but that doesn't mean you can't have something going on, too. I'm perfectly capable of being there for you, no matter how much I feel like death. How'd things go after you got home?" He insists you're not doing anything wrong, speaking calmly while holding your hand.

You groan, rolling your eyes at the thought of how yesterday went. You'd rather not relive it, but Eddie insists on being supportive. "Well, we were all crying in the goddamn living room before I called you, so that was fun." Sarcasm laces your voice, you're just so over all the crying at this point. "And after I had a shower and stuff, Mom said we have to go to dinner with Angie. Then, we have to go to the funeral. We also have to play nice and not cause a scene. I'm not allowed to call Angie a whore anymore either, because 'she has a name and I have to use it'." You're nauseated by the thought of having to do any of these things, not hiding the amount of contempt you have as you speak. You know you sound childish, like a surly teenager bitching about doing something you don't want to. But you can't help it, this whole thing is so fucking stupid and unfair. You look at him, wondering if he's judging you for acting so immature. But he's just patiently listening, letting you vent any way you please.

"So, when's all that happening?" Eddie asks, wanting to be there by your side if he can. He senses you probably need an anchor to stop you from going off the deep end, and he'll happily be that for you.

"Dinner is on Wednesday, and the funeral is on Friday." You grumble, wishing your final exams would go long enough to let you skip it. But alas, you have no such luck.

"You want me to go with you? That is, if your mom says it's okay." He doesn't want to step on anyone's toes, though he imagines Claudia won't mind. She's a sweet woman, always warm and welcoming with others.

"I was just about to ask you that. She said you can come, if you're up for it. And I would really appreciate you being there. Otherwise, I don't know what I might do." You giggle like it's a joke, but it’s not exactly funny. It’s entirely possible that if you have to go through all this without him, you might do something crazy. What that 'something' might be, you're not so sure. All you know is that it wouldn't be pretty.

"Of course I'll be there, babydoll. I know this isn't easy for you, and I wanna be there to hold your hand through it all." He says sweetly, God you love this man. He never hesitates to jump at the chance to be in your corner.

"Thank you, Eds. Although, I'm hoping you'll be holding more than just my hand." You bite your lip suggestively, making a bold move of bringing Eddie's hand to cup your tit over your t-shirt.

He groans, wishing he could act on the slight boner growing inside his pajamas. His eyes flick between yours and your beautiful chest, chuckling darkly. "Ooh, I get a naughty nurse, huh? You're lucky I can barely move, or I'd be taking your temperature." He squeezes your flesh a little, just enough to draw a breathy moan from your lips.

"Well, I am feeling a little warm. Maybe I should take off my shirt, that way you can get a better reading." What the hell are you doing? You can't believe that you're seriously leaning into this right now. Eddie's sick, very sick. You can't fuck him, much as you currently want to. It's unfair to wind yourselves up when you can't act on it, borderline cruel. You sigh, gently removing his hand from your chest, letting it fall into your lap. You shake your head, locking your libido away in a box inside your mind. "Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. God! Why is my brain compelled to cope with stress by being a total slut?" You chuckle in annoyance, utterly embarrassed with yourself.

"Hey, I'm not complaining! I was even starting to feel better, sweetheart." Eddie strokes your thigh, which just smashes that box open again. You hold back another moan, you hate how easily amped up you are sometimes. He notices your change in body language, taking his hand away while clearing his throat. "Sorry, I'll cool off."

"It's fine, Eds. We'll have some catching up to do once you're better." You giggle, giving him a genuine smile this time.

"That we will." He laughs, already picturing what he plans to do with you.

"But for now, back to business. I brought some stuff for you." You pat his thigh, standing again to go open up your backpack. You pull out a plastic bag, which contains ginger ale, cans of soup, and a box of bland crackers. You noticed there wasn't another can of chicken noodle in his cabinets yesterday, and the saltines you gave him were kinda stale. "Have you eaten yet today?" You ask, glancing over at him from the kitchen table.

"I had some toast earlier." He replies, reaching for his sketchbook again. You nod, looking at the clock. Half-past ten, not quite time for lunch. Ginger ale couldn't hurt, though. You locate a glass, opening the can with a tsss. You bring it over to him, setting it on the table.

"This should help settle your stomach, darling." He smiles in kind, eyes still trained on the page in front of him. His tongue is sticking out as he concentrates on whatever he's drawing. "Whatcha workin' on, baby?" You ask, very curious what's got hold of his attention over you.

"Wouldn't you like to know!" He says with a smirk, eyes flicking to yours for a moment. You raise an eyebrow, wondering what that means. "You'll see, but you gotta wait until I'm done."

"If you say so." You say nonchalantly, but inside you're dying to find out what he's hiding. You've seen a lot of his artwork over the last few weeks, he's so talented it's unreal. "Do you need anything else?" You ask, unsure what to do now. You'd try to cuddle him, but Eddie would probably think you're just trying to peek at his work. Or that you're making an attempt to get sick to avoid going to the funeral.

"Nope. I'm just happy to have you here, sweetheart." He speaks contentedly. You nod, drumming your thighs with your hands. "Do you need something, my love?" He asks, his eyes trained on his work.

"No, not really. Oh, did you get the stuff out of the van at all?" You ask, trying to find something to do.

"Nah, I barely made it to the couch today." He replies.

"Oh, that's okay. I'll take care of it." You chirp, eager to have a new task.

"You don't have to, Y/N. You're not my goddamn maid." Eddie says dismissively.

"I know. I want to, chores keep my mind busy." You explain, picking your fingers. Sitting in silence isn't exactly best when trying to stay calm about the whole 'dead dad' thing. Eddie stops what he's doing when he realizes why you're asking. He lays his drawing face down on his chest to look at you apologetically.

"Sorry. I'm just not used to having people do things for me like that." His expression softens, and he takes hold of your fidgety hand. "Knock yourself out, baby. I’m sure you could use a distraction."

"Thanks, love." You lean forward, giving him another kiss on the forehead. He hums at the contact. In a sneaky move, you attempt to flip his sketch over to see what he's up to. He swats your hand away, tutting at you in disapproval.

"Y/N! No peeking!" He flattens his palms over the book, holding it down defensively. He narrows his gaze at you, almost glaring.

"Okay, okay. I'll leave you alone. You're just so talented, Eds. I love seeing what you create." You say sweetly, watching his cheeks flare at your compliment. You love it when he blushes, because only you make him do that. You giggle at his reaction, leaving his side to set to work. You retrieve his things from the van, putting the empty mugs in the sink and his books on the shelf. The blanket goes in the wash with his dirty clothes, and you get the cycle going. While the washer is running, you clean all the dishes in the sink left over from yesterday, drying them with a towel before returning them to their rightful place.

You feel Eddie's eyes on you as you work, and they're most certainly focused on your ass. You smirk at the thought, letting him enjoy the view from the couch. You turn around to peek every so often, but he's too quick at averting his gaze for you to catch him. You're just finishing drying the final dish, one of Wayne's mugs, when his arms wrap around you from behind unexpectedly. "Are you done yet, sweetheart? I've got something to show you." He speaks lowly in your ear, making your skin sizzle where his breath fans over it.

"Eddie, go lay down. You're supposed to be resting. I'll be there in a sec." You're surprised he has the strength to even make the trip over to you, much less 'unintentionally' tease you again. He blows you a raspberry, begrudgingly returning to the couch. You roll your eyes, tossing the kitchen towel into the laundry basket once you're done with it. You retrieve another ginger ale from the fridge, bringing the can over and pouring it into his glass. "Alright, let's see it!" You say in excitement.

Eddie holds his sketchbook in his hands, slowly turning it to show you what he's drawn. He smiles at you, though he's unsure his work is good enough. What you see on the page makes your jaw drop. He's managed to capture your likeness perfectly. The slope of your nose, the sparkle in your eyes, the rounds of your cheeks, your beautiful hair with the flower he put into it on Friday. Every little detail is flawless, you've never seen yourself like this before. "Do you like it?" He asks, dying a little with every second that you're silent.

"Yes! It's amazing, baby! How long have you been working on this?" You take the book from him, wanting to get an even closer look. He smirks, shyly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Since this morning. It's a rough sketch, really, I can do better with more time." He's quick to put himself down, but you won't hear it.

"Oh, stop that. It's perfect. Can I keep it?" You ask, pouting your lip..

"Of course, sweetheart. Anything for you." He chuckles, unable to resist giving you everything you want. You lean over to give him a light kiss on the lips, letting out a content sigh when you pull away.

"You're really something else, Eddie Munson." You set the book on the table, not caring about any germs at this point. You lay your body over his, cuddling up real close. You wrap your arms around his neck, nuzzling him with your face. "Is this okay, baby? I can move if you're not comfortable." You ask, realizing you might be acting selfishly again.

"It's more than okay. I love being close to you, princess. You're the perfect little snugglebug." Eddie coos, always up for a good cuddle with his favorite girl. He lays his arms over your back, stroking you mindlessly with his fingertips. You can hear his heart beating steadily in his chest, your own gradually matching his rhythm. He feels so nice and warm against you, his touch lulling you into a relaxed state. You don't mean to, but you can't help drifting off into a light sleep. Eddie notices your delicate snoring, deciding to let you be for as long as he can. He knows how exhausted you must be from everything going on in your life right now. Watching you have some semblance of peace makes his heart relax, and he follows you into dreamland shortly after.

You wake up a while later, craning your neck up to look around while blinking your eyes repeatedly. Eddie's unmoving underneath you, breathing quietly as his head lays against the armrest. He's still sleeping, and you try your best not to wake him up. "God, he's so cute when he sleeps." You whisper to yourself, wondering how you managed to get so lucky. As carefully as you can, you lift his arms off of you, laying them back over his lap. You slip off the couch, and stand to check the time. 1:00pm, he needs to eat. You creep over to the kitchen, opening cabinets and clicking on the burner as quietly as possible. You heat up another bowl of soup, and bring it over on a tray with some crackers. Your hand gently extends to tap Eddie awake. "Hey, I made you some lunch." He stirs, rolling onto his side with a groan. You hate to wake him, but he's got to put some food in his stomach. "Baby, c'mon." You persist, and his eyes flutter open to look at you.

"Hm?" He asks through squinted eyes, still working his way out of the thick sleep clouding his head. His hair frames his face in a frizzed out mess of chocolate curls. His gaze falls to the table, and you can hear his stomach grumble in hunger. "Thank you, sweetheart." He gives you a weak smile, sitting up and putting his feet to the floor. Eddie runs his hands over his face, loudly exhaling in an effort to ground himself in reality. He was having the strangest dreams, a fever will do that. And it feels like he's slept for a hundred years, though he doesn't feel well-rested whatsoever.

"I was thinking I could...run you a bath after you've eaten? Wash the sweat away, soothe your achy little muscles?" You suggest, sitting beside him and putting your palm against his back. He just nods and reaches for the spoon to eat his soup. You observe him closely, almost like a hawk. You don't mean to hover, truly. Eddie notices you staring, looking at you with a warm smile a few times. "Sorry." You say flatly as he 'catches' you for the third time.

"It's okay, Y/N. I'm not a baby bird." He jokes, his free hand going to your knee to squeeze it comfortingly. You giggle at his comment, he’s still a joker despite how miserable he might feel. "Have you eaten today?" He asks, turning the concern onto you.

"Uh....I had coffee this morning. Does that count?" Your tone acknowledges just how much Eddie won't like hearing this. He gives you a stern look, pointing to the kitchen.

"Go find something. Jesus Christ." It's not a suggestion, but more of an order. You do as he asks, yelping at his hand lightly spanking your ass as you stand. You have half a mind to glare at him, but you doubt that’ll go down well. You make yourself a sandwich, returning to Eddie's side as you set your plate on the coffee table. "That's my girl." He kisses your forehead, though he's still a bit annoyed at you ignoring your own needs for his benefit.

"I suppose. I'm not very hungry." The ham and cheese on Wonder bread before you is quite possibly the most unappealing thing on earth right about now.

"I know, baby. But you gotta eat. It's just a little sandwich." Eddie insists, munching down some of his crackers.

"Ugh." You grumble, and hold the soft, white bread in your hands. You force the sandwich down your throat one bite at a time. Your guts have been twisted up in knots since yesterday, making it difficult to eat. You're nervous about finals starting tomorrow, and all the funeral-related activities this week, along with taking care of Eddie. It's like you're juggling everything inside your head, balancing on a unicycle all the while. Any second, you'll drop one of the balls, and everything will come crashing down. You swallow the last bite, it hits your stomach like a heavy stone. "I'll get your bath going, Eds." You say quickly, putting your plate in the sink before heading for the bathroom.

"O-kay." Eddie replies, wondering why you're fleeing his side. He continues eating, he'll never hear the end of it if he doesn't swallow every last bite. You turn on the faucet of the bathtub, the water gushing in a thick stream as you push down the plug. Your hand rests under it, gauging the temperature to make sure it's just right. You don't want to leave Eddie all alone in there, but you sense your sandwich wanting to make a surprise return.

"Fuck." You sigh to yourself, trying to feel your own forehead. But your hands are too cold to tell if you have a fever or not. Nausea flows through you in harsh waves, flipping your stomach like a fallen surfer spinning through the rush of the ocean. You're not sure if it's the flu, or if you're just anxious. Your hands are clammy, and your heart is racing. You can't slow your rapid breathing, this has to be another attack. That's it, you can't hold it anymore. You dash over to the toilet, just barely making it into the bowl.

"You okay, princess?" Eddie calls from the living room. When he doesn't get an answer, you hear his footfalls coming down the hallway. He leans in the doorway, finding you on your knees while you throw up. "Shit, sweetheart." He tuts, kneeling beside you to hold your hair back. You tremble as your insides wring themselves out like a used rag. Great, he's taking care of you, yet again. You'd roll your eyes if your stomach wasn't clenching as hard as it can to empty itself completely. You finish a minute later, turning to lean against the wall as you gulp in air. Eddie leans over to feel your forehead with his lips, you soften at the plush feel against your skin. "Hmm, you don't have a fever. Are you alright?" He asks, eyes filled to the brim with worry.

"I'm fine, mostly. I've just been so anxious about everything, I think it's catching up with me." You reply, forcing yourself to stand and continue monitoring his bath. Eddie wishes you'd slow down, you're ignoring what your body needs, and it's hurting you. He joins you on his feet, forcing you to face him.

"Baby, I'm worried about you." He says, taking your hands in his. His thumbs stroke your fingers, but your focus remains on the running water. "Y/N. Can you stop for a second? The bath can wait." His voice raises, no longer hiding his annoyance. Your eyes flick to his reluctantly, and his shoulders tense at what he finds there. You pupils show exhaustion, and fear, and maybe a little anger, too. He imagines you don't appreciate him badgering you like a child. "Look, I know you've got a lot on your plate right now." Eddie starts, moving closer to put his hands on your waist.

"You can say that again." You interrupt, crossing your arms in defense. You're not really sure why you feel like this. Eddie's only trying to help, but maybe that's the problem. He's always helping you, it's almost never the other way around. He should be in bed, resting. Not trying to comfort you when you've gone all nutso again.

"I think you need to slow down, angel. You're so focused on helping me, you're ignoring everything else." Your face falls at his words, staring at the floor. There's a crack in the tile that you suddenly find very interesting. He lifts your chin with his finger, trying to get you to listen. His face hardens, jaw clenching slightly. "I'm serious, princess. You're all over the place in there, and that's okay. But I won't let you ignore what you need for my sake. I don't care if that means you're crying every five minutes, or bursting with rage, or whatever else. Either let it happen and we'll deal with it, or you have to go home. Understand?" He says finally.

You're taken aback by him suggesting that he'll kick you out. But he's right, bottling yourself up clearly isn't the move here. You still feel immeasurably guilty for having problems when he's sick. Obviously, you can't control when life comes around to knock you on your ass. The timing sucks, but Eddie doesn't care. He wants you to be open with him, and that's not asking much. "Okay." You answer, not sure what else there is to add. He nods, letting you go so he can undress. You turn away, shutting the water off once the tub is filled up enough. You grab a towel from the rack above the sink, closing the toilet lid to set it on top. You also pluck a washcloth from the shelf, doing everything in your power to not peek at Eddie's naked body. You set the cloth on the edge of the bath, in perfect reach for him.

You hear him step into the water, little splashing noises rippling through its surface as he sits down. He groans, his muscles aching terribly while he tries to get comfortable. You're about to leave the room to give him some privacy, when he speaks again. "You wanna help me, love?" Eddie asks, desperately wanting your assistance. He can barely lift his arms, washing himself on his own will prove to be a challenge.

You turn on your heels, meeting his gaze. "Of course, baby." You reply kindly, kneeling beside the tub. You tie your hair in a ponytail to keep it from dipping into the water, which makes Eddie cock an eyebrow at you. "I don't wanna get my hair wet, you perv." You scoff, lightening the air in the room. He chuckles back, his body relaxing further as the warmth of the bath seeps beneath his skin. You reach for the plastic cup that's kept in the room, dipping it into the tub to fill it. You lift it above Eddie's head, blocking the flow from his face with your hand to wet his hair. It takes a few tries, his locks are particularly thick.

"I'm lucky to have you, babydoll. You know that, right?" He says, eyes fluttering closed at the comforting sensation of you massaging shampoo into his scalp. He moans lightly, your hands feel so good right now. Fuck, don't get hard, he thinks to himself. What you're doing isn't meant to be sexual whatsoever. What can he say? You possess the ultimate power over him, one he doesn't let anyone have so easily.

"You say that, and I want to believe you." You speak honestly. That's what he wants, right? "I mean, I know you mean it. I just…feel like more trouble than I'm worth." His eyes open again, looking at you sideways.

"Never, Y/N. I promise, there's nothing you say or do that feels like too much." He says earnestly. Ugh, he's too perfect. You just nod in response, reaching for the cup again to rinse out the lather. You condition his hair, letting yourself relax as you admire his blissed out face. He loves having you by his side, and you love being here just as much. Your eyes slip downwards, finding Eddie's erection underneath the sudsy water. You blush, averting your gaze. Don't stare, dumbass. He's sick, and vulnerable. "I saw that." He startles you, making you gasp. Your cheeks burn in shame, but he just laughs. "It's okay, love. It's not a big deal. We're in an intimate moment. It's bound to bring out certain...feelings." Eddie clears his throat at that, also a bit embarrassed despite his own words.

"You always know exactly what to say, Eds." You smirk, rinsing his hair again before wetting the washcloth and adding some soap to it. You scrub his body gently, starting with his back. You watch his muscles flex, which gets your heart beating a little faster. His shoulder blades shift under his perfect skin, and you're imagining that's what they look like when he's laying on top of you. Dammit. You can't help the little sigh that escapes your lips, though he seemingly takes no notice. You move on to his arms, holding him by the wrist as you drag the cloth along his flesh. He smiles at you, savoring every touch you give him.

You take his other arm, having to lean over the water to fully reach him. Eddie stares at your chest, examining the outline of your bra cups under the thin t-shirt you're wearing. He bites his lip, wanting to bury his face in your amazing tits. You both come to the conclusion that because you can't have sex right now, it makes you want it more than you ever thought possible. The perfect torture for a young couple like yourselves. "This is so fuckin' unfair." Eddie verbalizes what you've both been thinking since he got into the tub, the whine tinging his voice echoes the one in your head.

"I know, baby. I hope I'm not being dramatic when I say it's killing me." You reply, letting his arm go to wash his chest. You've been avoiding this area, as it's probably one of your favorite parts of him. His supple skin, the tattoos, the light amount of hair leading a trail to another part you especially adore.

"Not at all, sweetheart. The feeling is mutual." He shudders as you bring the cloth to his torso, gritting his teeth to keep himself from pulling you into the tub with him. He feels so weak, and yet, still so hungry for you. It's an awful combination, really. You focus on the task at hand, forcing yourself to only see a surface that needs cleaning and nothing more. It helps, and you're soon able to migrate to his armpits. He settles down a little, his underarms are definitely not an erogenous zone.

You hand off the cloth to him once you’ve done all you can. "Here, I’m sure you can clean your bits on your own." You sigh, and he nods while taking it from your grasp. You turn away again, hearing him shuffle around uncomfortably. He squeezes the cloth out when he's done, setting it on the edge of the bathtub.

"All clean, sweetheart." He says, signaling that you're okay to look at him again. You do, finding wide eyes staring back at you. His pupils are blown out, all your touching has amped him up beyond belief. He's trying to think of something, anything else. But it's not working, and his cock is not settling down.

"You alright there, Eddie?" You ask, though you think you already know the answer. He slowly shakes his head, but he can't possibly ask you to do what he wants. Your eyes look between his legs again, he's still hard as a rock, leaking from the tip. "Oh, baby. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rile you up like this." You tut, barely able to resist licking your lips at the sight of him.

"Not your fault. You're just really good at giving baths, apparently." He breathes heavily, and you know exactly what you can do. It's not much, not nearly enough compared to what you both crave. But it'll have to do. You reach your hand under the water, keeping your eyes on his. He's almost panting, anticipating your hand wrapping around his length. "Fuck, Y/N." He moans when you make contact, and it sets your insides on fire.

"It's okay, love. I'll make it all better." You coo at him. Using your free hand, you gently push on his chest to have him lay against the back of the bath. His knees breach the surface, letting you access him easily. You begin to pump him in your palm, eating up every little sound he lets out. You feel yourself getting wet, but you don't do anything with it. You can get off on your own at a later date, it's all about Eddie right now. "Does that feel good, Eds?" You ask, smiling warmly at him as his mouth sits agape.

"Yes, so good." He replies with a whimper, extending a hand to feel you up over your shirt. You moan at his touch, not caring about his fingers leaving wet marks on the fabric. You stop for a second, taking off your top and bra to let him massage your tits. "You're so pretty, angel. So fuckin' perfect." He groans, carefully tweaking your nipple between his pruney fingers.

"And you're absolutely gorgeous, baby. The most handsome man I've ever seen." You moan at the cool sensation of his wet flesh touching yours, gripping his dick a little harder in your hand. You're sitting on your knees, trying to give him as much access as you can. He sits up, bringing his hot mouth to your chest. "Jesus, Eds." You gasp, jerking him faster in your hand. He plants sloppy kisses all over your breasts, taking one of your sensitive buds between his teeth. His wet hair drips heavily onto your jeans, seeping through to your panties without a care. His hands move behind you, holding you closer as he marks your flesh. More water runs down your back, flowing directly into the little gap at the back of your pants. He's gonna get you soaked, in more ways than one.

"I wish I could be inside you, princess." He mumbles against your chest, frantically nipping at you as your wrist flicks expertly to drive him wild.

"I know, baby. As soon as you're better, we'll fuck as much as you want." You hold his head to your chest, his tongue and teeth feel so fucking good against you.

"Promise?" He asks, nearing his end as you stroke him even faster beneath the water.

"I promise. As many times as you want, for as long and as hard as you want. We can even use every page we haven't gotten to in that little book you gave me." You whine, wishing you could get off like this. You're certainly revved up, but it's not nearly enough.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum." He grunts, his stomach tensing as his release overtakes him. Eddie moans against you, biting hard on your tender skin. His load empties into the bath, a sticky paste that sinks to the bottom. His hips stutter which, causing the water to slosh around, and his breath comes out ragged as his high subsides. Eddie lets you go, laying back down with his heart hammering inside his chest. "Remind me to get sick more often." He quips, making you giggle. You start to shiver, the water he’s dripped all over you has made your clothes uncomfortable to continue wearing.

"Absolutely not. As much as I love taking care of you, not being able to fuck your brains out is the worst punishment imaginable." You unplug the tub, and the water slurps down the drain. You help Eddie stand, wrapping his arm around your naked torso to lead his feet onto the bath mat. Droplets fall from him, landing on the plush material below in quiet taps. You hand him his towel, gathering both your discarded clothes to wash later. You go to his room, locating some clean pajamas for the two of you to wear. You're sure he won't mind you borrowing some clothes while your own hang up to dry.

Eddie sneaks up behind you, slapping your ass again. You yelp, whipping around to shoot him a glare. Your tits bounce at the motion, his eyes falling to your chest. "Goddamn, I'll never get tired of seeing these." His tongue plays at the edge of his mouth, and you notice his towel wrapped around his waist. His v-line is in full view, distracting you for a second. You snap yourself out of it, remembering that you have to wait.

He's just about to reach up and grab your breasts, when you back away from him. "Cool it, Eds. You've had enough excitement for one day." You tease, throwing some pajamas his way as you pull one of his Dio shirts over your head. He whines at the loss of a beautiful view, and you scoff at him. You slip out of your soggy jeans and panties, replacing them with some flannel lounge pants that go a little ways past your feet. You have to tie the drawstrings extra tight so they don't fall down, hoping you won't trip over the excess length.

"Fuck, you always look so good in my clothes. How do you do that?" Eddie asks in disbelief. You're not sure what he means. You feel like a little kid, the clothes that fit him perfectly are easily two sizes too large on you.

"I dunno, they sure are comfy though." You say sheepishly, playing with the hem of your 一his一 shirt. Once he’s fully dressed, you take everything that needs washed to the machine. You realize you have other items in there from earlier, swapping them out quickly and hanging the clean clothes to dry over the shower curtain rod. You start the next wash cycle, and take Eddie's dirty dishes to the sink. You contemplate washing those, too, but you think your body is finally ready to accept a small amount of food. You stick a couple slices of bread in the toaster, pressing the lever down to get them nice and warm. You find some peanut butter in the cabinet, something comforting ought to stay down.

Eddie returns to the couch, switching the channel on the TV. He absolutely hates daytime talk shows. "You feelin’ better, sweetheart?" He asks, settling on a cartoon. He certainly feels miles better himself, though he's not at full strength just yet.

"I’m alright. I'm actually hungry now…for more than just food." You can't help it, the little 'splash' the two of you made in the bathroom a few minutes ago has really got you going. Maybe you shouldn't be telling him this, he'll probably feel bad for getting you all hot and bothered. But he wants honesty, and you're going to give it to him.

"Yeah...sorry ‘bout that." He replies, guilt lacing his tone. There it is, you knew you should've kept your mouth shut.

"It's fine, love. Toast will have to do, for now." You sigh, regretting every word that leaves your lips. You don't want him to be upset, you just want him to get better. You hunch over the counter, laying your chin on your flattened palms as you stare at the toaster. The shiny metal reflects your face back at you in morphed fashion, your expression downturned into a rubbery frown.

"Oh, you poor thing. I can hear the blue balls from across the room. I'll make it up to you every way I can, princess. I assure you of that." He says smartly, finding your frustration just a teensy bit amusing.

"You better. I expect to not be able to walk by the end of the week." You grumble, hiding your smirk as you continue to watch your own warped image in the kitchen appliance. You instinctively rub your legs together as unsavory thoughts flood your head.

"You got it, baby." He chuckles, putting together a plan of attack. One which will be executed once he can fully stand on his own two feet.

The toast pops up, and you hastily spread the peanut butter onto it, before gobbling up every last crumb. "Fuck, peanut butter toast never tasted so good." You say with your mouth full, still hunching over the counter. Eddie glances over at you, laughing at the smudge of butter at the left side of your mouth. Crumbs lay about your chest, some sticking into the mess on your lips. "That bad, huh?" You ask after swallowing, reaching for a paper towel to clean yourself up.

"I'm just happy to see you eating, sweetheart. Though it would be dishonest to say it wasn't a tad unladylike." He scrunches his nose, not taking that term seriously. He couldn't give a shit if you were the most improper person in the world, he'd still love you more than anything.

"If there's one thing I've proven time and again, it's that I'm definitely far from 'ladylike'." You practically skip over to him, the feeling of food sitting calmly in your belly has changed your mood significantly. "But you already know that." You let out a bubbly giggle, sitting down beside your ailing lover. You lay your head on his shoulder, humming at how warm he is through his clothes. "What about you? Feeling any better?"

His arm shifts under you, wrapping around your body to pull you closer. "Very much, Y/N." He kisses the top of your head, making your heart melt. "Are you gonna stay over tonight? It's totally fine if you don't. I know you've got that final exam tomorrow." Eddie asks, hoping you'll stay. You make everything better for him, and he hates being apart from you. He supposes his wanting is a bit selfish, you could easily turn up sick if you stick around for too long. But you're the one thing he needs, all the time.

"I'm not going anywhere until the morning, my prince. I brought extra clothes for tomorrow, and that's all I need to show up with, aside from a pencil." You answer cheerily, making his wish come true. His eyes light up at your words, and he pulls you into him for a clumsy kiss.

"You're the best, Y/N. And I just know you're gonna ace that test tomorrow!" He beams, absolutely over the moon to have you in his company all night long.

"You're damn right! I'm not a fuckin' bookworm for nothing!" You joke, making both of you fall into a hearty laugh.

To be continued...

[143hyunes]

Cacoethes

pairing: hyunjin x fem reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut (Minors DNI !!)

summary: So in conclusion: Hyunjin was not a creep. He just had a weird obsession with the stranger in the train. Hyunjin was an inquisitive person, which is why his favourite past time was observing people in the train. He would spend his way back home observing people and forgetting about them as soon as he left the train. So why couldn't he forget you?

playlist. ao3.

warnings: strangers to friends to lovers, non-idol au, childpsychologist!hyunjin, alternating POVs, extreme pining (hyunjin is a simp), y/n is afraid of the dark, descriptions of a panic attack, hand holding (this is not the victorian era i swear), mutual pining, clubbing, mentions of puking, oral sex (f. & m. receiving), cum eating, fingering, nipple play, marking, protected sex, shower sex, dirty talk, faking an orgasm, mentions of a car accident, mentions of death (none of the MCs), ghosting

wordcount: 10k

a/n: my entry for the skzwritingcafe event for May-June. i hope you guys like it <33 this oneshot is kind of inspired by 500 Days of Summer (very loosely). pls leave feedback & reblog and lmk if there are any mistskes, enjoy!

cacoethes

noun RARE

an urge to do something inadvisable

an insatiable desire : mania

Day 1

There was a small but certain happiness in travelling by a train, though it is an inconvenience for many daily commuters during rush hours, Hyunjin loved it maybe because he travelled during the late hours, when there weren’t many people on the train but enough. He liked listening to music and daydreaming or observing people on the train from different walks of life. He always came to the conclusion that at the end of the day, even though everyone was different, the situations and problems they went through were similar which made them like-minded individuals.

It was just another ordinary day, Hyunjin was listening to one of his favourite ballads that day. Whenever one song ended and the silence that ensued till another song played, brought him back to the real world, giving him a reprieve from his mind, reminding him that a world existed outside of his mind. This silence was a kind of faux silence, not loud but definitely enough to arouse him of his surroundings. Today however, there was a different sound that entranced him. 

Your laughter that was like a siren song on treacherous waters, demanding his attention. Whatever song played next seemed to ebb away as he looked for the source of the sound that was like music to his ears.

You were reading a book that was in your lap, he assumed that it must have been the reason for your laughter. He couldn’t look away from you, how your hair fell on your shoulders, encasing your face that was concentrated on the book, the furrow of your brows, all this making you look adorable. 

   That night when he went home, after freshening up, Hyunjin sat in front of the TV, the TV was on but the voices faded into the background as he thought of the stranger in the train, seemingly so oblivious of the world around her. No sound or movement was enough to break you away from the imaginary world you were seemingly in.

Hyunjin never understood people who would cry, laugh or get angry over books or tv shows and movies alike, because for him no form of media had ever evoked such emotions in him. Hyunjin reasoned that the only reason you wouldn’t escape his mind was due this empathy that he seemed to lack, there’s always envy in the absence of something. Yes, that’s all it was jealousy in the wake of humane curiosity, at least that’s what he told himself when he woke up dreaming about you.

»»———-　　———-««

Day 8

Hyunjin was not a creep, he was just an observer, it was kind of his job to observe and help people wherever needed. He had always been like this, not much of a speaker, quietly listening. His big eyes always curious and absorbing everything around him, like a natural instinct. Him studying you was no different than the other times he would observe strangers in the train, putting them in categories that he had made up. That’s what he had deluded himself into believing, reality however was a bit different.

You were different, he didn’t find himself looking for the silhouettes of other strangers on the daily, like he did with you. It had been 8 days since he first saw you and yet he couldn’t look away. It had become second nature, to observe you everyday, reading a book every time. 

Your red nose was the first thing he noticed about you today and then the drops of tears on your cheeks that he wanted to wipe away.

What? 

Hyunjin had no idea where that stream of thought came from,”Stop thinking about unassuming strangers in inappropriate ways. Seriously, get a grip on yourself man.”, he thought to himself.

The reasoning he gave himself for such thoughts was that it was his nature to want to comfort people in distress as a Psychologist and it’s not like he would act on his thoughts. So in conclusion: Hyunjin was not a creep. He just had a weird obsession with the stranger on the train.

When the internal monologue in his brain had quieted down, Hyunjin noticed the title of the book you were reading,’Before the coffee gets cold’, when you lifted the book to wipe away your tears and he made a mental note to look up the book on the internet later when he reached his house. 

He didn’t really read novels but he was curious about what made you cry, especially on public transportation.

He was an emotional person but didn’t cry easily. Maybe this book would evoke emotions in him that he had buried deep down.

»»———-　　———-««

Day 13

You had had a bad day at work today and just wanted to get lost in the world of one of your romance novels to wash away the stress of what was a tedious day of work. You loved your job as the assistant marketing manager and being part of the graphic design team, you really did, but your co-workers were hellbent on testing your patience like no one ever had. But you couldn’t just shun your duties, especially not if they were direct orders from your superior, which was to babysit the new intern and clean up after his mistakes. 

You would understand if it was just one mistake but he fucked up three times, posting the wrong ad campaign on the official social media account and consecutively deleting it. 

You had to take the fall for it obviously because he was working under you. You had to hold your tongue too because the moron had gotten his internship through nepotism and his relative was a higher up in the company. Office politics really were the bane of your existence and you vowed to dismantle hierarchy in the office (who were you kidding, you can’t even speak up when the waiter messes up your order). 

You inwardly cursed yourself for choosing an office job.

You wouldn’t say you were eager to travel from the train everyday, you didn’t care much for public transport. Yes, using it was good for the environment and all that but that’s not why you used it. Driving after a long day of work was stuff out of a nightmare for you. You saved money on gas and didn’t have to buy a car too. 

Plus you really liked reading your favourite books on the train, it was very different from your reading nook in your home, a different kind of good. You liked getting lost in a world other than yours, it felt like a reward somehow. 

That morning in the train, you had just gotten to the part where things were starting to get interesting in your novel but unfortunately you reached the station for your office.

You couldn’t wait to pick up where you left off that morning. 

“Lift your hips for me, love.”, reading that line had single handedly made you lose any shred of sanity you had left, you would scream into a pillow if you could. The book didn't have any explicit scenes in it but the overall sexual tension and buildup was, in your opinion, more satisfying and arousing to read than any explicit scenes. You really loved reading about people falling in love and slow burns. 

The giddy smile on your face however faded when the train screeched to a stop and everything went dark. You could feel your throat closing up, like it was closing in on itself.

Making you slowly lose control over your breathing and the small train compartment suddenly felt too hot. Your heart was beating so fast as if you had run a thousand miles a minute.

You felt like you were drowning when you heard someone asking you to focus on their voice, pulling you out of the water.

“I need you to focus on my voice and list 4 things you can feel.”, the deep voice said.

You listed them out:  A firm hand under your right palm, your book, the kind stranger’s soft breathe, your clothes.

“Okay, now can you please list 3 things that you can hear?”

“Your voice, something tapping against metal, the sound of my heart.”

“You’re doing great! Now list two things you can smell.”

“My perfume and sweat.”

“You’re okay now. List one thing you can taste.”

“My saliva?”

He chuckled at your answer that actually sounded like a question, the sound of his chuckle was like a hug of comfort in the daunting darkness. 

The train was moving again and the light was back in the next five minutes. You realised that you were still holding onto his arm and quickly released your grip on it, profusely apologizing for gripping it so tight that it left marks on his soft skin. 

Gosh, just how much could you embarrass yourself in a single day!

He smiled a smile that could rival the brightness of a thousand suns and said that it was okay and asked if you were feeling better now. 

He was really pretty and your metaphorical jaw was on the floor and suddenly you forgot how to form a coherent sentence. 

The confused look on his face brought you out of your stupor and you knew you had to answer him soon, before you embarrassed yourself further. “I’m okay now all thanks to you. So, thank you.” You managed to somehow make your voice sound both curt and squeaky at the same time. 

You could not make yourself look at him, much less have eye contact. So you just decided to look out the window. In the reflection of the window, you saw him putting his head phones back on which you hadn’t even noticed were around his neck. 

When it was your turn to get down you thanked the stranger again and slightly bowed to further show your gratitude.

   That night you couldn’t fall asleep so you decided to bake. You weren’t stress baking but rather ‘I-have-embarrassed-myself-too many-times-in-a-day’ baking. Though baking definitely didn’t help you forgot about the beautiful stranger.

Three hours of baking too many cookies for one person to consume later, you finally went to bed, exhaustion from the day catching up to you. You had to wake up in 4 hours and you were already dreading it. 

»»———-　　———-««

Day 14

Today was turning out to be better than yesterday. Your cookies were a hit at the office, as always. Your superior even forgave you for yesterday’s mishaps. Though he would never admit it, it was mostly because of your cookies. 

You even saved a box of them for the kind stranger from yesterday. Hoping that he would board the same train as yesterday and so you could properly thank him. 

When you saw the familiar tresses of his soft, long hair that made you want to run your hand through it, you sighed a breathe of relief. 

You hadn’t thought far and were sure you wouldn’t get to see him again today and words escaped you again.

You were rehearsing in your mind what you would say to him when you felt a pair of eyes on you and looked up to see him looking at you before he looked away. He seemed very interested in something out the window.

You decided that you would be brave and would stop acting like a shy teenager and just talk to him.

You tapped his knee to get his attention. “Hey I don't know if you remember but you helped me through a panic attack yesterday, I wanted to thank you for it. I baked some cookies and there were some extra so I brought them for you.” You offered him the box with the best smile you could muster.

When a few beats passed and he didn’t take the box from you, your confidence started to wane. The lone box suspended in the air awkwardly by your hands. “Uhm, nevermind.”

Of course, who would take the box of cookies from a strange lady on the train! No sane person that’s for sure.

You cringed as you slowly brought the box back to keep in your lap when he stopped you and took the box from you. 

“Thank you for the cookies, I was just really taken aback. Which is why I didn’t take the cookies at first, not because I thought that cookies were poisoned.” He said rubbing the nape of his neck. 

You laughed at his attempt at a joke. “It’s really okay, I would be skeptical of taking cookies from a stranger too. Thank you once again for yesterday. I’m really grateful because you were very kind and didn’t make me feel bad for having a phobia that children usually have. Other people haven’t been this kind.”

“You really don’t have to thank me. And I’m sorry other people weren’t as kind. Thank you for the cookies, I’ll enjoy them.” He said smiling, his eyes turning into crescents.

“I’m Y/N by the way.” You said extending an unsure hand for him to shake, did people even shake hands these days?

He laughed and shook your hand. ”I’m Hyunjin.” 

»»———-　　———-««

Day 22

It had been 7 days since Hyunjin had last seen you. Now it wasn’t like he was counting down the days or anything, he just wanted to return your tupperware. 3 days of not seeing you and he was worried, he wondered if something happened to you and if you were okay. 

On the 5th day he wondered if you were avoiding him, he recalled his last conversation with you for any indication of your behaviour that would suggest you were avoiding him. He came up with nothing and decided to stop assuming things. He didn’t want to admit it but he missed his the beautiful stranger.

After more than a week was when you came back. When he entered the train he could smell your perfume, the scent which was very similar to that of jasmines but not quite the same, it drove him up the wall. He would ask you one day what perfume you used.

When he sat down beside you, he handed you your tupperware. You smiled at him, then slowly shaked the box, raising your eyebrows at him.

“Those are blueberry muffins in the box, my mom has always said that you should never return tupperwares empty.” 

“I bought these from a local bakery though, I can’t bake as good as you.”, he replied, giving you a sheepish smile. 

“Thank you for the muffins, I really like these ones.”

“Oh, before I forget, why didn’t you use the train these last few days?”

“I got my periods and the first two days are really painful so I usually avoid going to the office on those days. And for rest of the days I don’t use the train because I have really bad backache.”

“Oh ok, I hope you feel better now.” Hyunjin was relieved your absence was not because of him.

“Yeah, I do.” You said smiling, pulling out your book of the day from your bag.

When Hyunjin noticed the book, grinning, he grasped one end of the book in your hand.  You gave him a quizzical look and were surprised by his sudden behaviour. “Is this the sequel to Before the coffee gets cold?”

“You’ve read Before the coffee gets cold? And to answer your question, yes it is”

You had an amused smile on your face and he decided he would tease you. “Wow, I’m offended, you don’t think I could read a book just because I’m a pretty face?”

“Your words not mine dude. I just can’t imagine you reading this kind of an emotional book, you look like you only read academic textbooks.” You added with a hint of playfulness in your tone.

“Well I did read this book and I almost cried too, towards the end.”

“What do you mean almost cried? I was bawling my eyes out. In fact I’m pretty sure the pages of this book are covered with my snot.”

“I don’t know, I wanted to cry especially after the last chapter but my tears wouldn’t come out? It’s like I’m emotionally constipated.”

You laughed at his raw candidness, and he concluded that he could part seas to hear the sound again.

That day your conversation over the book lasted till you had to get down. Your voice increasing as you excitedly raved about the book. Hands gesturing around with a twinkle in your eyes, he couldn’t look away even if he wanted to.

»»———-　　———-««

Day 37 

“And then he stuck the gum he was chewing on my desk.” Hyunjin was currently telling you about his terrible work day. He part timed at a Government facility, which was a detention center for troubled teens. Today, he had to counsel a 15 year old who was downright rude and had charges on him for vandalism.

“I’m not saying I love my job but it beats having to deal with angsty teenagers on a day to day basis.”

“I mean, it’s not all bad, the other day this autistic girl made a card for me and it was really cute. Also I really like helping people and as sappy as it sounds, making a difference.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Hyune. If anyone can do it, it’s you.”

The use of the nickname didn’t go unnoticed by him, it wasn't the first you had used it but it made his heart flutter all the same. 

It had been a little over two weeks since he became closer to you and your friendship blossomed. 

You didn’t expect to find a friend in such an unlikely place, you looked forward to the end of every day, talking to Hyune about everything and nothing. Talking to him was as natural as winter turning into spring, the ice melting away so beautiful flowers can blossom. 

Just as suddenly as spring had come, he’d slowly warmed his way into your heart.

»»———-　　———-««

Day 61 

You always seemed to forget the reason why you hated clubbing, which is why you always let Sakura drag you to one. She was your bestfriend and you loved her more than anything in the world but her habit of getting shitfaced drunk was something you wish you could break. 

You were currently two drinks in, enough to break you out of your shell but not quite enough that you could hit the dance floor. You downed three more in order to join Sakura on the dance floor. You don’t know when it happened but you were currently grinding up against a stranger and you could feel the outline of something that was definitely not his phone. If you were lucky, you would get to go home with the handsome stranger.

At least that was the plan, before you got a call from Sakura, “Hello? Kkura?”

The call got disconnected before you could get another word in. A few seconds later, you got a text from her.

kkura ♡ : washroom. NOW.

you : coming 

you : are u ok?

When she didn’t reply, you quickly apologised to the stranger and excused yourself. You started looking for the washrooms. When you found them, you entered to find Sakura hunched over the toilet seat, spilling her guts out. You slowly rubbed her back and removed your phone to call Han. He was also one of your bestfriends, he couldn’t come with you guys today because he was busy creating yet another track, life as a musical producer meant that even his Saturdays were spent labouring away.

The phone rang thrice before he picked up,"Hey Y/n. What’s up?"

“Kkura is really sick, can you come pick us up? It’ll be really hard to get a taxi from here.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there, text me the address.”

After texting him the address, you helped Sakura up and made sure she drank water. 

Both of you decided that waiting outside was much better, the music was just too loud. The entrance of the club was mostly deserted save for a few people smoking and a strange man that kept glancing in you guys’ direction. You knew you were safe and that the man wouldn’t misbehave with people around but you still messaged Han to hurry up.

you : can you get to the club faster? there’s a really strange man here and i’m pretty sure he’s going to rope us into a pyramid scheme or a cult 

You were surprised when not more than five minutes later you got a call from Hyunjin. You wondered why he was up so late. Clearing your throat, you picked up. 

“Uhh, Hyunjin?”

“Where are you?” There was an urgency in his voice, tone frantic.

“Club Red Lights?” You meekly replied, unsure of the reason he had called you.

“Stay right there, I’m coming to pick you up.”

“Wha-” Your words died on your tongue when you heard the line end.

You mentally smacked yourself when you saw that you had sent the message meant for Han to Hyunjin.

His concern for you made you feel warm inside or was it the alcohol you had earlier? 

Ten minutes later when Han arrived in a taxi, you helped a very dazed Sakura get in the car. You explained the situation to Han and how you were going to wait for Hyunjin. 

“Are you sure? Do you want me to wait here with you till he has arrived?”

“Yes, I’m sure Hanji. You don’t need to wait for me, just make sure Kkura gets home safe.” 

“Okay if you say so.” He leaned in for a hug, when you were swiftly pulled away from the embrace.

“What the fuck” Han exclaimed, while you let out a gasp.

“Hyunjin!” 

“Is this the guy you were talking about?” 

“No Hyune, calm down. This is my friend, Jisung. The message I sent you was actually meant for him.”

“What message?” Han inquired, while glaring at Hyunjin.

“We’ll talk about this later Ji, you should take Sakura home.”

“Goodnight! Text me if anything, ok?” Han said finally embracing you, without strong arms pulling you away.

“Yes I will, goodnight Ji.”

When the taxi drove away, Hyunjin turned to you with a sheepish smile,”I’m sorry for my outburst earlier, I was really scared when you messaged me so late.”

You couldn’t help the blush that crept up your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry for scaring you, I was kind of buzzed when I sent that message, how did you even get here so fast?”

“I drove.” He replied, shrugging. “Shall we get going? Where do you live?”

After giving him the address, you got in the passenger seat. The whole ride you couldn’t help but keep stealing glances at him, he looked so attractive driving. Seeing him in a striped blue and beige sweater was disconcerting, in a good way. You had only ever seen him in work attire, and he looked so stunning in them but him in casual clothes was somehow even better.

You tried to snap yourself out of it, and were convinced that the only reason you were ogling your friend was because of all the drinking you did earlier.

When you reached your apartment complex, Hyunjin insisted that he would drop you to your doorstep. On seeing how much you were staggering, he helped you to your bed. He even insisted on removing your heels for you. A shiver ran through your body when his big hand touched the straps on your ankle. He takes his time undoing the straps, but even that's not enough. You want to fall asleep in the warmth of his arms.

He’s going to leave soon, you don’t want that. You wish he would stay, even if it’s till you fall asleep. You don’t like saying bye even though you know you will meet him again.

Can’t you stay?

When he stops in his movements and looks up at you with his eyes widened, you realise that you said the sentence out loud. You hoped you it didn't sound as needy as it did in your mind.

“I-uh-Sure.” He stammered. “Where do you keep your aspirin?”

“It should be in the cabinet near the refrigerator.” 

Keeping the glass of water and bottle of aspirin on your bedside table he noticed you were fast asleep, softly snoring. He smiled at the sight, pulling up your blanket to cover you.

He was getting ready for bed when he had received your message. To say that he was worried would be an understatement. He drove to your location using the GPS, his speed astonishing even to him. He hadn’t speeded since that incident, and that was two years ago.

When he reached the location and saw you in your silk dress and your cheeks flushed due to the alcohol, he couldn’t help but think about how gorgeous you were. You were about to embrace a man and Hyunjin didn’t know what came over him. Was it Panic? Anger? He wasn’t sure, his only thought was to get you to safety. And he did something irrational.

But now, he was endeared by the sight of you snuggling into your covers. His heart skipped a beat when you had asked him to stay. Your desperation very evident when you uttered the last word. He decided it was best to leave now or he would really end up staying with you.

You woke up the next morning at 11am to the worst hangover you had ever had, the aspirin on your bedside table helped. You had to meet up with Sakura and Han in an hour for brunch, so you had a quick shower and got ready.

“Well well well, if it isn’t Ms. Y/N.” Han began in a voice that was too cheerful for your hungover brain. 

“I’m too hungover to have a civil conversation with you right now, Han.”

“That’s too bad because I want to know who that guy was from last night and why you went home with him.”

“You went home with some guy last night?!” Sakura exclaimed.

“I didn’t “go home” with him, he just dropped me off when I sent him a text meant for Han. And he’s not just some guy, he’s the friend I made on the train.” 

“You went home with Train Hottie?!?” Both of them exclaimed in unison.

Your friends had dubbed Hyunjin as the ‘Train Hottie’ when you had told them about you having a panic attack on the train.

“Can you guys keep it down? My head is still pounding.” You scolded.

“Wait you never told me what the text was about.” You showed Han the text while shoving avocado toast in your mouth, which they had ordered for you.

“He thinks I’m a cult leader?!” Han replied slightly offended.

“It’s more likely that he thought you were some guy who roped people into pyramid schemes, Sung.” Sakura muttered, both of you bursting into laughter. 

Han just shook his head and playfully smacked Sakura’s hand.

»»———-　　———-««

Day 98

Something was off today, Hyunjin noticed that as soon as he entered the train. You were slumped over in your seat, your head in your hands. As he sat down beside you, he nudged your shoulder,”Hey, you okay?”

You looked up, your eyes full of anguish as you figured out how to answer him, your mind at war, if you should be honest or not.

You decided you would go with the half truth.

“I-Just had a bad day at w-work.” You croaked, on the verge of tears.

“Can you take a day off tomorrow?” He asked. You just nodded, not having the strength to reply.

Hyunjin pondered for a minute before grabbing your hand.

“What? Where are you taking me ?” 

“I don’t know.” And he really didn’t, he wanted to cheer you up somehow and it wasn’t possible in a moving metal box.

Both of you got down at the next station, his hand never leaving yours. He didn’t know it but you always felt safe in his presence, it brought you comfort in times where everything felt wrong.

His pace quickened and you had to jog to keep up with him. As soon as you guys exited the subway, he looked for a convenience store. 

“What flavour of ice cream do you like?”, he inquired.

“Anything that doesn’t have fruit in it.”

He picked two packets of vanilla ice cream that was covered in chocolate and shaped like a chocolate bar.

“These are my favourite.”, he exalted grinning, his eyes turning into crescents. You couldn’t help the smile contorting your features, his childlike joy at buying his favourite ice cream contagious.

He went to the alcohol section to get a pack of 6 beer bottles and proceeded to pay for all the items. 

You quirked a brow at his combination of ice cream and beer but didn’t question him. 

You guys decided to go to the Namsan Tower, as you had coincidentally got down at Myeongdong Station. You spent the cable ride up in comfortable silence, save for the bouncing of Hyunjin’s leg against the floor of the cable car.

When both of you got down, he looked for a bench with the best view overlooking the city. Once he found it, he set the things down, taking out a beer bottle and opening it against the bench.

“Impressive.”, you said nodding. He made a show of removing his imaginary hat which made you giggle. 

“Okay have a sip of this but don’t drink it and then take a bite of the ice cream.”

You did as he instructed and you were taken aback when the chocolate melted into your mouth and the ice cream mixed with the beer. The chocolate paired so well with the malty beer, it left a different kind of burn in your throat which was washed away by the ice cream. 

Hyunjin waited with bated breathe for your reaction and let out a sigh of relief when you smiled up at him. He was happy to share his favourite food combination with you and even happier that you seemed to like it.

“It’s like the Mc Donald’s float but less sweet and for adults.”

“Yeah I guess it is, I was really drunk off my ass when I thought of this combination.”

“You’re a genius actually, I was really skeptical of it at first but it goes together so well!” 

He just smiled and you guys sat there for a few minutes, soaking up the scenery and drinking together. Until he broke the silence with his questioning,”So..do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

You sighed nodding and taking a sip of your beer,”I fucked up really bad at the office today and was reprimanded in front of the whole office. It was humiliating to say the least.”

“And? Is that all?”

“No.." You sighed again, opening up was always hard but never with Hyunjin.

"I’ve been wondering these days, if it’s all worth it?”

“You mean slaving away in that office every day to just put food on your table, even if it doesn’t make you happy?”

You were shocked at how he was able to articulate your feelings in just a sentence,”Yes..”, you let out a dry chuckle.

His hand found yours, thumb running circles on your hand, urging you to continue,”I just- I don’t know what my purpose is, you know? Like how you know what your purpose is and you’re doing so well too. I didn’t know what I wanted to do in college and I’m still the same, all these years later. Wasting my life away for a job I don’t even like.” You try not to cry and end up pouting.

“Do you want my honest opinion?” You nod.

“First of all, yes I do like helping people but it’s just a bonus. I’ve been obsessed with psychology for as long as I can remember, I’m just one of the lucky ones whose special interest happens to coincide with my “purpose”. The idea that everyone needs to have a purpose to be worthy of being a citizen of the society is such bullshit. Plus your purpose doesn’t always imply something you have to do to give back to the world. It’s all just part of the western capitalistic propaganda. What if I’m here to just have fun? What if this is my last life as a human? I think the pressure of having a “purpose” is too much especially for an 18 year old fresh out of high school. Even for a 23 year old like yourself, it’s too soon. I mean you have your whole life ahead of you to find out what it is. So really, you have nothing to worry about.” 

Hearing his words had lifted a weight off your chest, a feeling of catharsis filling you. He was your catharsis. His words comforting you like no one ever had.

 He looked so cute under the moonlight, his angry pout on your behalf making him even more endearing. Oh how you wish you could kiss him and feel those plump lips on every inch of your skin. You looked away before you actually gave in and kissed him.

“I-uhm”, you cleared your throat,”Thank you for saying that, you don’t know how much it means to me.” 

“Of course, anytime.” He said smiling and taking a big gulp of his beer. Which was consequently followed by a very loud burp, you turned towards him and started laughing clutching your stomach. The look of surprise on his face and dusting of red on his cheek was priceless. “Uhm, that was on purpose, I wanted to make you laugh.”

“Sure whatever you say Hyune.”

“Anyways, is there not anything that makes you genuinely happy?”

You. That’s what you wanted to say but you couldn’t because of everything that it would imply. You weren’t drunk enough for that conversation. So you went for the next best thing.

“Baking. It calms me down.”

“Then you should open a bakery or a cafe.”, he said matter of factly.

“It’s not as easy as that.”

“But it’s not impossible, is it?”

“Well-”

“I think you shouldn’t give up before you even try it.”

You pondered over what he said for a few minutes.

“I mean I could freelance graphic design for a while alongside my job, save up money and lease a small shop.”

"See, I told you it's not impossible ."

You had to leave the Namsan Tower soon, as it was closing, so you decided to sit outside a convenience store. 

You spent what felt like hours talking about your plans for your cafe. It was almost 3am when you both decided to return home.

“You can stay the night with me, you know because your home’s far from here. That’s if you want to.”

“Okay.” He says looking away.

You reach home around 3:30am. Hyunjin insists on sleeping on the couch but you are persistent. “It’s fine really, we’re two adults, we can share the bed.”

You give him a blanket of his own and got in the bed.

“Gooodnight.”

"Goodnight, Hyune.”

»»———-　　———-««

Day 99

Hyunjin had been watching you sleep for the past ten minutes, he found everything about you cute, the peaceful look on your face, the drool coming out your mouth. Oh how he wished you had fallen asleep in his arms.

You slowly wake up due to the sunlight that was streaming in through the windows, your eyes getting used to the light. The first thing you noticed was his eyes, watching you intently, he would never hold back, be it his work or even just a simple gaze. The intensity in his eyes makes you blush and you’re hit with a sudden urge to kiss him.

Unbeknownst to you, that’s the same thing going through his mind.

A chant of:

kiss me, 

kiss me, 

kiss me, 

plaguing his mind.

His ragged breathing goads you on and you lean in.

Your lips meet in a desperate kiss, as if you’re lovers meeting after lifetimes apart. He bites your lip, eliciting a moan from you. His tongue enters your mouth, teasing your tongue.

When the both of you come back for air, his eyes are blown wide, lust evident in them. His carnal gaze setting you off more.

The second kiss you share is sensual, slow, while the first one was all teeth and tongues, this one is unhurried, exploring.

He sits up and you straddle him, the kiss becomes intense as your hand travels to his nape, the kiss deepening, while his hands explore your body, stopping to knead your breasts.

You break the kiss to remove your top. When your lips are back on his, he continues his exploration of your body, now free of it’s constraints. He does quick work of your bra, that you don’t even realise he has removed it.

He starts smothering kisses on your neck, leaving a wet trail down the valley of your breasts. His plump lips close around your right nipple while his nimble fingers play with your left one. You feel yourself shiver at the attention but he holds you steady and needy whines spill out of you as you grind on his hard on. His moans getting lost against your curves. His eyes never once leave yours, as your fingers thread through his hair, pushing him further against your chest.

 After what feels like hours of desperate moans that come out of your mouth, Hyunjin stops his ministrations on your chest, you would have come just from this if he had continued any longer.

He removes his shirt, while you help him remove his pants. He initiates the kiss this time, as you keep grinding against his bulge. The sound of his husky moans drive you crazy. You pull away to trail kisses down his neck, his lips chase yours when you do so. But soon he gives into the pleasure your lips give him. You take your time sucking and licking consequently on his skin in your downward descent, giving his nipples little bit of the attention he gave yours. You take your time leaving kisses on the hard muscles of his abdomen. When you finally reach the bulge in his boxers, you look up at him, "Can I?"

“Please”, his deeper than usual voice perhaps from the long hours of sleep has heat pooling between your legs, the neediness in his tone sending you further over the edge.

You remove him from his constraints, his big dick was painfully hard. You smear the precum around his tip, giving small licks to the head of his cock. His needy moans are music to your ears, you tease him some more. Then you take almost half of his length at once, the way he stills in shock makes you feel proud of yourself. You start bobbing up and down his length that you can take, your hands stimulating the rest. His pleasure guiding his actions, he thrusts up into your mouth, moaning loudly when you gag around him. Soon after he feels his orgasm coming, he tries to pull out of your mouth, you tap his thigh to let him know it’s ok if he came inside your mouth. He comes down your throat with an intense moan. You wipe your mouth and go back to kiss him. 

“You taste even better with my cum.” He breathes out. His husky voice is enough to make you come.

“I want you on all fours for me, angel.” His commanding tone with the use of that nickname has you complying without any complaints.

This position makes you so much more vulnerable to him, his kisses start from the curve of your ass, he massages your venus dimples, leaving chaste kisses on them while he removes your underwear. 

You shudder under him as his kisses reach the nape of your neck, he whispers into your ear, "I want to pay you back for all the teasing but maybe next time. Today, I’ll just settle for ruining you."

His large hand cups your cunt, the tips of his fingers so close yet so far from the place you really need him all while he whispers into your ears like the devil he is, all the things he will do to stay true tp his promise. You’re pretty sure you’re dripping down your thighs by now. His fingers finally enter you, scissoring you open, the motions making you weak, you realise you wouldn’t have fallen down if not for the steady hand around you. He adds a third finger all while nipping your right ear, you finally let go, your walls violently convulsing around his fingers. When you come down from your high, his question catches you off guard after all that’s been said and done. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Yes, please. The condoms are in the first drawer of the bedside table.”

Rolling the condom on, he enters you in one swift motion, your body jerking forward but he catches you in time.

When you have adjusted to his length, he starts moving roughly.

“Fuck you’re so tight, even after I fingered you open.” 

The force of his thrusts make the headboard slam against the wall. The sound of banging, matching your moans. 

“Ahh-Hyune, please, please d-don’t stop”

You reached your high again after a particularly hard thrust, the sound of your moans reaching a volume they had never before. Hyunjin followed right after, his movements slowing down, his seed spilling into the condom. 

He pulled out and got up to get a towel to clean you. You hissed at the loss of him. After he cleaned you up, he peppered your face with kisses promising you breakfast and a day in watching movies.

»»———-　　———-««

Day 112

It had become a routine for you and Hyunjin to spend the night at each other’s place. You would have sex, cuddle and then have dinner together. He would leave before you in the morning because work for him started early.

Today was no different, he ate you out on the kitchen counter before the both of you proceeded to the bathroom to wash the day off of each other.

But it wasn’t long before he was in you, your legs wrapped around his waist, back against the bathroom wall. His thrusts were rougher than usual, you wondered if he had had a bad day at work. 

That was before he uttered that name again.

“Ahh- Mina..I-” 

You stilled when he said that name, yet again, though he was conscious this time. It had made you wonder if he was seeing someone else. Hearing that name brought back all of your insecurities, the thoughts of an orgasm were so far away now. He didn’t seem to notice or if he did he didn’t say anything, still chasing after his own high. When you felt him getting closer and closer, you clenched harder, moaning his name again and again. 

You were thankful it was his turn today to cook, you really wouldn’t be able to focus with your mind running a thousand scenarios that caused you nothing but displeasure. You had felt your heart breaking when you heard him call out for that Mina girl in his sleep last Tuesday night. When you had told Sakura about it she had told you to ask him about it and you wished you could, you wished you were a confrontational person. Hearing your dilemma she told you to just ask him on a date and gauge his reaction. And you did, your heart beating, you were the most nervous you had ever been and the most relieved when he said yes. Your movie date was in 2 days on Saturday, you would go to a fancy restaurant after, for dinner. 

You also wished you didn’t get attached to people so easily, you had only known Hyunjin for a little over 3 months but that didn’t stop you from falling for him, causing you inevitable heartache. You know you owed it to yourself to ask him about Mina, you decided it would be best to have this conversation after dinner.

“Hyune? Can I ask you something?” You asked while you were washing dishes and he dried them. 

“Yes, of course.” He replied, giving you his crescent eyed smile.

“Who is Mina?” You asked, trying to not sound accusatory.

His whole demeanor changed, he stopped wiping the cup in his hand.

He tried to school his features of any emotions but you noticed the sheen in his eyes, as he went back to wiping the cup.

“Uh-She was my ex-fiancé.”

“Oh”, was all you could say, you had more questions but he was clearly very upset, even though he was trying not to show it. It was best to let him tell you in his own time. 

“Why- why do you ask?”

“Oh it- you mentioned her in your sleep.” You didn’t have the heart to mention the incident from before, wanting to hide the shame and faked orgasm.

 You didn’t know if you were overthinking or if he was actually distancing himself from you. He didn't say goodnight or give you a kiss. You could feel him building up walls around himself, walls you wanted to climb over and just embrace him.

He didn’t hold you that night, you deluded yourself into thinking that maybe it was because physical touch was just too much in that moment. 

You just lay there thinking and thinking about what went wrong, maybe you shouldn’t have asked him about her. Was he still in love with her? All your thoughts however ceased when you heard soft sobs from his side of the bed, wanting to hold him close but you knew would do no good. It would only make him distance himself more.

You don’t know when you fell asleep between trying not to let your tears fall and trying not to wipe away his tears. But your worst fears were confirmed when you woke up to the cold sheets beside you and your washroom devoid of his toiletries that he had brought over after spending countless nights at your place.

»»———-　　———-««

Day 114

Anyone would say it was a foolish thing to wait for someone for 2 hours at the movie theater, someone who had left one morning without saying a goodbye, someone who hadn’t replied to any of your calls or texts for the last two days, someone whose silhouette, with his headphones that you longed to see in that train, someone whom you missed a lot.

As you walked away from the theater with heavy feet, you thought to yourself about how now you had the confirmation that he was not coming back. 

Your time with him, however short, taught you that you were capable of love, of heartbreak. You came out of your first heartbreak gaining something, at least that is how you consoled yourself.

»»———-　　———-««

Day 127

You were sitting in the same seat as you sat in everyday, everyday praying you could see him again, even if it was just once. It was as if he had disappeared into thin air or maybe your lonely mind just made him up, that’s why he always seemed so other-worldly. 

You were staring out the window as was routine for you these days, hoping to find him, always looking for him subconsciously. Your wet umbrella on your lap was soaking your clothes, but it didn’t matter. Your wet hair was stuck to your face but that too, didn’t matter.

From the corner of your eye, you think you saw his long black hair, your heartbeat quickening as you rushed to get out of the train, it felt like hours had passed when the doors opened.

You ran in the direction of the subway as that’s where he was headed, calling out to him but his pace only seemed to quicken. So it really was him.

You finally slowed down when he was on the fifth step.

“Hyunjin, please.”

That made him stop in his tracks, maybe it was the desperation or the pain evident with that last word. 

He turned around and you could swear that the world around you stopped, the pain in his eyes mirroring the pain in yours, while his heartache was caused by some stranger you didn’t know and yours was caused by him. He looked pale and his eyes were bloodshot.

You walked towards him, the reasonable part of your mind telling you to just walk away, to save further heartache and humiliation.

Standing a step below him, you looked up, trying not to sound weak while tears were welling up in your eyes,”Can we please talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Really? That’s all you have to say? Did our friendship mean nothing to you? Were the weeks we spent together so insignificant that you didn’t even bother saying goodbye?”, anger from the weeks alone catching up with you.

“Y/N-”, you flinch at his use of your name, your own name sounding so foreign on his tongue. 

“I-We can’t be together. I can’t be in a relationship right now.”, he croaked looking away.

“Then why did you lead me on? Why? When you’re in love with someone else?” 

He finally looked at you,“God-I, I never meant to lead you on, Y/N. And I’m not in love with someone else, my ex she-she died in a car accident, two years ago. She is dead.” He whispered the last sentence to himself, as if trying to remind himself of that.

Suddenly everything made sense, the look of melancholy that was always present in his eyes. The name he called out to, in his slumber.

He was staring into your eyes, looking for something, you tried to blink back the tears that were starting to build behind your eyes. You turned around then, tears starting to fall down your cheeks, walking away from him was probably one of the hardest things you had to endure.

When you were finally out of his sight, did you let yourself cry, smalls sobs turning into heaving. You cried for him then, his love, his loss, your love and your loss. You finally understood why he couldn’t love you, his grief was too big for his heart and you understood, you did. It still didn’t stop you from cursing the universe for bringing him to you with flowers and sunshine and letting him wash away with the rain. 

»»———-　　———-««

Day 113

Hyunjin knew he was hurting you, when he heard you ask him about Mina yesterday, he realised he had called out Mina’s name while making love to you. He had wished hard that he hadn’t said it out loud, he felt guilty for thinking about someone else when he was with you. He felt guilty for loving you, his mind had become a prison he couldn’t get out of.

He wished he could've processed his grief before he met you, he wished he hadn’t fought with Mina, he wished Mina hadn’t run away from him that night, he wished he didn’t feel guilty for holding you, loving you. He wished for the ghosts of his past to leave him alone. But that’s all he could do, all he had been doing his whole life.

He didn’t want to be weak and pathetic but he guessed he had always been that way, passive all his life, looking from afar, never taking action.

He knew he had to distance himself before he hurt you more than he already had. He knew it wasn’t right but sometimes not saying goodbye hurt less than actually saying goodbye.

»»———-　　———-««

Day 127

It had been 15 days since he had last heard that voice, at first he thought his mind was playing tricks on him. He tried his hardest not to turn around and just run into your arms.

Your plea was what made him stop and reminded him of the wall he had built up to protect you from himself.

He was devastated, his worst fears confirmed when he saw the tears welling up in your eyes, your face thinner than he last saw you.  

He had an epiphany that day, he really wanted to hold you, call you his again. In order to do that, he would have to get over his grief, his past.

For the first time in his life, he decided he wouldn’t let life pass him by, he wouldn’t let you pass by, he would seek help to get to you. He was determined and would do anything to kiss you again.

»»———-　　———-««

Day 335

For a little less than 7 months, you’ve been working hard to open your own café. It was just last month when you had finalised on a shop, paying the deposit for it. The shop was small but it had a homey feel to it, it was everything you were looking for and more. 

With help from your friends you had set up all the furniture and equipment, your café, ’Eden’, would be opening in 5 days and to say you weren’t nervous would be a lie. You hoped all the ads that you had put up and the marketing you had done would pay off and that people would actually show up.

You had quit your job last month, starting the new year in your café, surrounded by people you love. It had been satisfying sending in the two week notice. You had been freelancing alongside your job the last few months. You don’t know why it never occurred to you that you could live off the money you made from doing freelance graphic design.  

Han and Sakura were bickering out front while you organised your kitchen, there was no way you were letting them near your kitchen, especially so close to opening day. 

Their bickering had suddenly stopped, there were only hushed voices now and it made you wonder what had happened. You went out to investigate and overheard their conversation.

“What do we do with this bouquet?”

“Don’t ask me stupid questions, Hanji. Of course we throw it out, we can’t let her know he was here.”

“Who has here?” You asked incredulously.

“Hyunjin, obviously you dummy. Who is the one asking stupid questions now?” 

“Jisung!” Sakura scolded hitting him on his back.

“Oww! What the-Oh Y/N”

You took the bouquet of Daffodils from the counter and ran outside.

“Y/N wait-” you heard Sakura call out.

You were glad when you found his retreating figure, his wide back and long hair making him easily recognisable.

“Hyunjin!” You yelled to get his attention. You were out of breathe when you finally caught up to him.

Returning the bouquet to him, you tried to stabilise your breathing.

“Y/N, wha-”

“I don’t take flowers from strangers.” He let out a sigh, running his hand through his hair.

“Your friends told me you were at home.”

“I don’t blame them for lying, they were just protecting me.” He winced at the bite in your tone, but he knew he deserved it.

“Look, can we please just talk?”

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”, you said throwing his words from months ago back at him. Only you knew how many times you had replayed that whole conversation.

“Okay I deserve that but please just listen to me, once. I promise I won’t bother you again.”

“You have 30 minutes.”

“But-” You gave him a look that indicated you wouldn’t negotiate on this.

“Fine. But you will have to come with me somewhere first.”

You thought over his words for a minutes before letting out an exasperated sigh,”You better make this worth my time, Hwang.” You texted Han and Sakura in your group chat asking them to close up and letting them know that you would return late. You turned your phone on silent and walked to where his car was parked.

His bouncing leg was the first thing you noticed when you got in the car, the smell of jasmines was the second thing you noticed.

You could cut the tension in the car with a knife.

“Are you kidnapping me? Where are we even going this late at night?”, you joked.

“The Graveyard.”, was all he muttered before turning silent again. You didn’t know how to reply and wondered what was going on through his head. Why now?? 

The graveyard was grim and gloomy, like one always is. He got down without a word, grabbing a bouquet of jasmines from the backseat. You wordlessly followed his lead. 

When he finally reached the grave he was looking for, he bent down to put the bouquet near the grave stone and you heard him sniffle. 

“This is my first time visiting her grave. It’s been two years since the accident and this is the first time.” He breathed out, his tone one of disdain. You rubbed his back to comfort him and urging him to continue.

“The night she died, the night of her accident, we had a fight. She just left with her car and I let her. If I had just apologised, just let go of my ego for once…” 

“Hey it’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known. I know my words might seem empty but you can’t predict the future, it’s not your fault.” , you wanted to comfort him like he had done for you, after all you were friends before everything that went down.

“I-I know.”

“I just never got over my grief, when she died I was just numb and threw myself into work. For the longest time I didn’t process that she had died.”

“Then I met you, I tried to deny my feelings for you so long, even before you had that panic attack. I would silently watch you, doing nothing about my growing feelings for you. When I finally had you, I felt guilty towards Mina, it felt like I was betraying what I had with her. I mean I was literally going to marry her.” 

“And when I realised I had hurt you, I was so angry at myself. I knew I had to do something, so I started seeing a therapist. You must think I’m pathetic, I mean what therapist goes to another therapist.”

“Hyune, there’s nothing wrong with seeking out help, you’re human too at the end of the day. Also I’m pretty sure many therapists go to other therapists on the daily.” Relief flooded his body at the familiar nickname and he felt just a bit better.

“I know, I do. I just can’t help but feel pathetic, you know? I lost the best thing that has happened to me in a long time and also probably the love of my life. My therapist said that I should visit her grave and on the same day I saw the ad for your café, I knew then that it was a sign.”

“What do you mean, a sign?” Your lack of a response at his confession didn’t go unnoticed by him but he continued anyway.

“I hadn’t realised that I needed help until I lost you, so when I saw your ad, I just knew I had to at least try to reconcile with you. I’m so sorry for being an asshole and ghosting you, there’s really no excuse. I’m truly sorry.”

“It’s okay I forgive you.” You reply without hesitating and you really had forgiven him and made your peace with the situation. He was wrong to ghost you but you knew him better and decided to not judge him for his temporary lapse of judgment. Plus you were never good at holding grudges for too long.

“Uh-I, thank you.”

“I should drop you home, it’s getting late.” 

Both of you walked back to the car in silence, this time it was a comfortable one.

When you got in the car, Hyunjin didn’t immediately start the engine.

“Uhh you don’t have to reply to my confession but I would like it if we could be friends again.”, he said, rubbing the nape of his neck.

“Who said I want to be friends?”

“Oh,, okay.” He said looking down at his hands.

“I love you too, Hyune.”

He looked up at that, his widened eyes searching yours to see if you were telling the truth or not. And then he did the unexpected : he kissed you.

His kiss expressed everything his words couldn’t, his love, his promises, his forever.

{The end}

a/n: tysm if you've reached this far! it's my first time posting such a long fic, i hope you liked it <33 i'm so sorry if there any typos, i didn't have time to proofread, pls lmk if there any mistakes :) also i might write an epilogue for this if enough people are interested

[a-killer-obsession]

Wavelengths [Killer x Reader, Heat x Reader]

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.

CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.

Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1

Chapter 26 - Miscalculation

Oppsie whoopsie, someone made a little fuckie wuckie.

WC: ~3.5k

A/N: This chapter contains content that could be politically challenging for some. While this chapter comes off as a little bit pro-life vibes at times, this author is very much pro-choice and anyone who tries to start a debate about it in the comments will be swiftly blocked. Also there is quick mention of a medical procedure, but not the one you're thinking of.

Taglist: @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @iggy5055

After showering you’d both settled in to sleep, with Killer lending you one of his old band shirts to sleep in. It was oversized and comfortable on you, more like a dress, and reminded you of when you first came on board and had to borrow his clothes after an untimely period. You woke early, overcome by nausea and running to the toilet. Killer sighed as he knelt on the bathroom tile behind you, holding your hair out of your face.

“Yin, it’s been almost three days since you started puking, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked with concern.

“Yeah, it's fine,” you groaned before puking again, “I hit my head last night, it's probably just that. I’ll be fine after a shower. What’s the time? I gotta get to the morning watch”

“No, you don’t,” Killer grumbled before scooping you up and placing you on the bench top next to the sink. You watched with fondness as he ran your toothbrush under the water to soften the bristles before adding toothpaste and handing it to you. You started brushing obediently, washing away any hint of puke from your mouth. “Heat volunteered to take the next shift so you can sleep in, you had a rough night”

“I’m fine, really!” you pouted after spitting the toothpaste, hopping off the counter and rinsing your mouth with a hand scoop of water.

“You’re not, you need to go see Mohawk again,” Killer crossed his arms and you felt like a scolded child, “something is clearly wrong”

“Fine, mother,” you grumbled, returning to the bed and nestling back under the blankets, “but I want cuddles first”

“Deal,” Killer smiled as he climbed in next to you.

Nobody came to bother Killer to make breakfast, the commanders just made do with whatever the rest of the crew were eating, knowing you needed him more than they needed his cooking. The two of you skipped breakfast, not that you had the appetite anyway. He’d dragged you along to the infirmary as soon as you were awake for the day, grumbling at him the whole time that you were really fine and this was unnecessary. You’d stopped by your room for a change of clothes, finding it to be spotlessly clean, which brought a smile to your face. Your rug was missing though, it was likely stained, you made a mental note to buy a new one tomorrow.

Mohawk was already in the infirmary when you got there, scribbling away at some papers to update notes after last night, and that was where you found yourself now, sitting on a cot, a thermometer held under your tongue and Mohawk looking in your ears with one of his tools. The thermometer beeped to indicate it was done and he pulled it out of your mouth, inspecting it with a frown.

“Slightly higher than normal, but you did just wake up,” he mumbled, “It’s probably just your cycle raising your basal temp”

“Basal temp?” you asked curiously as he fumbled around with his stethoscope, pressing it to your chest and listening as you took deep breaths.

“Your temperature goes down when you sleep, but ovulation and pregnancy can raise it,” he paused for a moment and stood up, looking nervously at Killer who was leaning against the infirmary wall before looking back at you with a raised eyebrow. “Yin, when was the last time you had your period?”

“When I came on board,” you were kicking your legs over the side of the bed, not a care in the world. Between the effects of your birth control and malnutrition, you could probably count on your fingers the amount of times you’d had your period since the marines locked you up.

“You said she was good for another year,” Killer warned, then his posture suddenly straightened, “-but that was when we thought she was twenty five”

Mohawk’s posture mirrored Killer’s, anxiously looking at you, then back to Killer, “Is she not twenty five?”

“She’s twenty seven, we only found out recently” Killer replied.

“Oh, oh fuck,” Mohawk suddenly rushed to a cabinet and pulled out a small plastic, disposable cup. He shoved it in your hands, and you quirked a brow, still not catching on. “Go piss in this, now” he commanded.

“Fucking bossy,” you grumbled, sliding off the bed and disappearing into the attached bathroom. There was a flush and the sound of running water before you reemerged, and he quickly took the cup of pee from you and placed it on the counter. “Why the panic?”

“I calculated the expiry of your birth control based on the age you gave me versus when you remember first using them,” Mohawk was searching through the cabinets for something, “if you’re two years older than we thought, then your birth control is at least a year expired. You’ve been unprotected this whole time.” You realised with a panic what was happening and Killer took your hand, sensing you were about to start hyperventilating. Mohawk found what he was looking for and returned to the piss cup, quickly unwrapping something, dipping it, and replacing the cap. He placed it on the counter and tipped the rest of the pee down the sink, running the water to flush it while he threw out the cup and his gloves.

He stood in silence with his back to the two of you for what felt like an eternity, staring at the item on the counter intently, before letting out a groan. “Fuck.”

Killer rushed ahead and pushed him out of the way, grabbing what you now saw was some sort of stick and closely inspecting it. “FUCK,” he yelled, dropping the item and immediately slamming his fist through a cabinet door. You whimpered behind him, standing alone and scared in the middle of the room, knowing full well what their reactions meant. He turned at your whimper, seeing the tears already starting to roll down your cheeks as you hugged yourself for comfort.

“Fuck, Yin, I’m sorry,” he rushed to your side and enveloped you in a tight hug as you started to sob. “It’s okay, I’m here, we’ll deal with it okay.”

“Kil, morning sickness can start as early as two weeks, it usually happens first trim-” Mohawk started.

“I KNOW MOHAWK,” Killer growled, “Shut up, let me think”

“I can’t carry their baby, I can’t,” you sobbed, understanding the calculations Mohawk had already done and what he was inferring, “I can’t bring a baby made from hate into this world”

“It’s okay Yin, shh, you don’t have to,” Killer was holding you tight as you cried, rubbing your back soothingly.

“I don’t have the equipment on board to deal with it,” Mohawk sighed, “but the next island should. It seemed progressive enough. We're due to dock tonight, we can take her tomorrow”

“Hear that sweetheart?” Killer cooed, “Just one night okay, we’ll get that thing out of you tomorrow, just be brave until then okay?”

You nodded against his chest and tried to even your breathing that was quickly bridging on a panic attack. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“We won’t,” Killer assured, “nobody outside this room needs to know about this”

“Okay,” you sniffed, holding on tight to him.

The three of you sat nervously in the small, quaint waiting room of the local doctor’s office. Killer was holding your hand, but his knee was bobbing up and down nervously, only adding to your anxiety. The ship had gotten in early this morning, slightly delayed by poor winds. The commanders had all headed straight to an inn to drop their things before heading out to run errands and enjoy the island properly this time, and Killer had insisted you stay with him. You’d given no complaint, more than relieved to know you wouldn’t be alone. Mohawk had explained what was going to happen, and you knew you’d be in pain for a few days after the procedure. Killer had promised to take care of you, and gave Kid some excuse about wanting to spend time alone with you to account for his absence.

“Ms. Val?” a short, young looking woman with a clipboard called. The three of you all stood and she looked with scrutiny at your group. One masked beast of a man, one skinny guy with a mohawk, and one very scared looking girl. You probably looked like you were being held captive by the obvious pirates. “Only two are allowed in the room,” she continued.

Mohawk approached her and handed her a file of papers. “I’m the ship doctor, please give these to the attending doctor, it’s all the notes I have on her.” The woman nodded and took the file, and Mohawk stepped aside for Killer, who took your hand and led you to follow the woman. She took you both to a room and indicated for you to enter, before following in and handing the files to a slightly older woman who was sitting at a desk. You were relieved to find the doctor was a female, that would make things more comfortable for you. She skimmed through the notes before spinning her chair to address the two of you.

“Doctor Winston,” she held her hand out and you each shook it, “and you are Ms. Val? Yes? Is this Mr. Val?”

“Yes,” you both answered at the same time. It was easier for everyone if they assumed he was your husband, especially since some islands were known to only perform abortions with the husband’s permission.

“I see in your notes that your ship doctor has confirmed pregnancy, and that you have been a victim of sexual assault,” she looked at you softly, with a face that showed sympathy, but with a lack of surprise that told you this was clearly not her first encounter with a victim like yourself. “Am I right in assuming you would like to terminate, given the nature of how you fell pregnant?”

“Yes, that’s correct,” you replied, trying your best to be brave and fein confidence. Killer squeezed your hand reassuringly.

“On this island we don’t need you to sign anything, no records will be kept of the termination, but we do need to confirm the age of the fetus before we can proceed,” she turned back to her desk and pressed an intercom button, “This is Winston, can you bring the ultrasound please?” She turned back to you and Killer. “The procedure we use will depend on the age of the fetus, if it’s early enough we may be able to just send you away with medication. Otherwise there is a quick procedure we can do before you go”

“My doctor explained it,” you replied calmly, “I just want this thing gone”

“We’re gonna help you sweetheart,” she smiled. There was a short knock at the door and the doctor got up to answer it, pulling a trolley with some sort of machine on it into the room. “I’m going to need you to lay on the bed with your tummy exposed please darling. Your husband is welcome to stand at your head if you need support”

Killer helped you up onto the bed and you pulled up your shirt and lowered the waistband of your skirt to expose your belly. It was painfully obvious, now that you knew you were pregnant, that the weight you had been putting on was because of that, and not because of eating well. Well, maybe a little because of eating well. Killer stood beside you and held your hand near your head as the doctor set up the machine and squirted a cold, blue liquid onto your tummy. She used some sort of curve-ended wand to rub over your belly, and you could see dark shapes on the screen broken up by grey and white shapes as she rolled the wand over your skin. There was a large, black, squashed oval in the center of the screen, with a smaller white thing in the middle that she pointed to.

“That’s the fetus,” she explained, clicking a few buttons on the machine and moving some sort of cursor to take measurements. The blob looked like nothing, just a jelly bean, but you felt a tinge of guilt about wanting to get rid of it. Maybe you could keep it, raise it with Killer, keep its true parentage a secret and just tell everyone Killer was the biological father. It was probable, nobody would question it. “I’d say it’s about two months old, based on the size and level of development.”

Killer stiffened beside you, his hand clamping down on yours almost painfully, “Two months? Not three weeks? You’re sure?”

“One hundred percent,” she pointed to the screen again, “This fetus is beginning to develop little fingers and ears, it’s no doubt at least eight weeks old, I would hazard a guess at close to nine weeks, I’m not a gynaecologist though so I can’t give you an exact, but definitely around the eight to nine week range”

“Kil?” He was stiff and silent as he stared at the screen.

“It’s mine,” he almost whispered. The doctor looked at him with a warm smile.

“What?” you propped yourself up on your elbows looking between Killer, and the little jellybean on the screen he was still focused on. His mask finally tilted to look at you for a moment, before returning to the jellybean.

“Eight weeks ago was the island,” he explained. The doctor didn’t know what he was talking about, probably assuming he was referring to some contraceptive mishap during an island vacation, but she was happy to hear that it didn't match the timing of your assault. “It’s my baby”

“Oh,” you realised, looking back at the screen and blinking as the realisation set in. “Doctor, can you give us a minute?”

The doctor stood and wiped the goop off your belly, switching off the machine and pushing it out as she left. “You can press number one on the intercom system when you’re ready, just press it once, it’ll buzz me out here”

There was a short awkward silence as you sat up on the bed, righting your clothing, your feet hanging over the edge. Killer was still standing, staring at the same place, like the screen hadn’t been rolled away.

“Killer?” you took his hand, grounding him in reality again and reminding him that you needed him. He pushed between your legs and rested his mask against your forehead, sighing deeply.

“I’m not asking you to keep it, but I want it, if you do,” he whispered softly, “I know it's not a great situation, we didn’t plan for this, we’re barely together, and you’ve been through so much. If you don’t want it, I’ll be here for you through that too, whatever you decide. But if you want it, I’ll be a good father, I know I will, I’ll take good care of both of you”

It sounded like he was pleading with you, but it didn’t matter, you’d already made up your mind regardless of what he wanted. “I’m keeping it, Kil,” you ran a hand under the edge of his mask and swiped a thumb over his cheek, catching a small tear you didn’t expect to be there.

“You don't have to do that,” he was still whispering, like he was scared talking at his full volume would entirely scare you away, “I won't be mad if you get rid of it, or if you never want kids”

“Kil, look at me,” you tilted his chin so you could see his watery blue eyes through the holes of his mask, “I wanted to keep it as soon as I saw it on the screen, the only thing holding me back was whether you'd accept it as yours, because I can't do this on my own. As soon as you claimed it I knew I was keeping it, regardless of whether you wanted it or not. This child was made with an act of love, and I know in my heart that I want them, I want that piece of you. Go summon the doctor back, my choice is made” You held his mask and kissed the top of it where his forehead would be before letting him go to press the intercom button. He hurried back to your side, nestling himself back between your legs. You held him close and rested your chin on his shoulder, and he did the same for you.

The doctor made a quick knock on the door before opening it and sliding in, closing it behind her with her foot since she was carrying a metal tray of utensils. Your eyes widened in fear and Killer perked his head up in response, hearing your breath quicken as the tray was set down beside you.

“I don't- I don't want that,” you hurriedly told the doctor, “I want to keep it”

“It's okay sweetheart,” the doctor cooed, “I figured you did, the way you smiled when you heard it was your husband's. Your notes said you have an expired contraceptive implant in your arm, so either way I was going to have to remove it”

“Oh,” you immediately calmed down and Killer likewise relaxed.

“I'm going to need hubby to move out of the way for a bit, but this will only take a few minutes,” the doctor said as she washed her hands methodically and put on a set of gloves. “This will just prick for a second, and then it'll numb the surrounding area. It's perfectly safe for the baby.” She assured you, answering your question before you even had a chance to ask as she prepped a syringe of fluid. Killer moved to stand on the other side of you, still holding your hand.

The doctor pressed two fingers on your soft inner forearm to feel for the two small plastic rods that made up the implant, before wiping the area with a alcohol swab and carefully inserting the needle. You squeezed Killer's hand, which felt silly. You were an army destroying, man slaughtering, killing machine, but you felt vulnerable right now and it made the prick of the needle feel scary. Killer made a little huff of amusement under his mask and you pouted at him.

“I'm just going to make a small incision, then I'll remove the rods and give you a stitch or two, and you'll be good to go,” she pressed the dull side of the scalpel against your skin, “can you feel that?”

You shook your head and she gave you a calming smile before making a small cut. You didn't watch, keeping your gaze on some poster about vaccines on the opposite wall instead, but you could feel the strange numb poking and prodding as she did her work. She really only did take a few minutes, almost as soon as she'd started she was applying a small patch of gauze over the cut.

“All done mama,” she smiled, “now, I'm sure given the affectionate display I walked in on that the answer is yes, but I wouldn't be doing my job given the bruising on your side and neck if I didn't ask if you feel safe sweetheart”

You gave a small giggle as you slid off the bed before answering, “You should see the other guy. Yeah I'm okay, got my big bad guard dog to protect me,” you smiled, scratching Killer's goatee like he was your prized purebred Mastiff. He huffed under the mask at you.

“Alright then,” the doctor smiled, seeing there was no hint of fear in your eyes to indicate a lie, “my assistant informed me that your ship's doctor is in the waiting room, nice of them to come along. If you'd be so kind as to send them my way, I'll make sure they have all the information they need to look after your pregnancy. I know not all ship doctors have medical degrees, but who can afford a fancy piece of paper these days, aye?”

“Thank you doctor,” Killer held out his hand to shake hers again, and she smiled fondly at him as she shook it, genuinely thankful to have been able to give you both good news. It was a welcomed change from her usual work, which often consisted of helping victims of abuse, often scared women who were alone and terrified of the thing growing inside them. It wasn't every day a woman came in with a support system, and certainly not every day that the woman decided to keep the baby thanks to unexpected good news, so this had been a refreshing appointment for her. She turned to open your notes and scribble in her own additions so she could hand the updated file back to Mohawk. Killer took your hand gently and led you from the room, back out to the waiting room where Mohawk was pacing back and forth nervously.

His pacing stopped as he noticed you both approaching, his eyes quickly skipping between the two of you, noting your beaming smile and Killer's calm demeanour. “What happened?” he asked curiously.

“The fetus is eight to nine weeks old, not three or four,” Killer replied. His tone was flat and calm, but under the mask he was grinning ear to ear.

“Eight?” Mohawk replied, “but that would mean… oh, oh,” Mohawk grinned back at Killer and smacked the top of his arm, “you fucking dog, congratulations dad, I'm guessing you're keeping it then?”

“Yeah, we are,” Killer's voice was full of fondness as his mask tilted down towards you for a moment, “doc wants to talk to you, second room on the left.” Killer indicated behind him with his thumb and Mohawk gave him a sturdy pat on the back as he passed by.

“Don't wait up for me you two,” Mohawk laughed, “you lovebirds have a lot to talk about. Go enjoy your freedom while you can”

Killer gave him a grunt in response and rested his hand on your waist to lead you away.

[NEXT CHAPTER]

A/N: I'm doing my best here to be accurate with the medical stuff but I've never actually had an abortion, all I have is good ol’ google. I have however had the type of contraceptive mentioned, and I've had a baby, so I have a fair idea of how those two things go. I'll try to be accurate with the pregnancy stuff but everyone has a different experience, and I will be slightly dramatising it for entertainment. It'll be mostly as accurate as I can make it though. Enjoy the pregnancy fluff while it lasts. Don't worry, things will go to shit again soon *evil laughter*

Anyway, I'm really proud of this chapter. If you reread you'll find hints that this was going to happen as far back as the island itself, it took a lot of planning to get to this point. And for the curious, the timing mentioned is accurate, I've been keeping track for this very purpose. It's been 62 days since they first boned on the island, give or take a few days from dubious time passing mentions, and 25 days since they got her back from the marines. For the extra curious, it's been about 106 since the story started. Not enough time to say I love you imo but hey it's fanfiction, I make the rules here lmao