#minor existential delema

[beastmonsterthingy]

Do you ever think about who you are, who you are not, and why you exist as you do? I often think to myself the same thing, why is it that I as a human, so I exist the way I do, how I’ve become so cruel and judgmental. The world as we know it is evil and hateful. You cannot exist as one, you have to be viewed always as someone who is eyes for another. I feel disconnected to myself because I view myself as who I am meant to be for others. I am me but only to an extent, only an image on a screen, only a human to be viewed in one light, and in another light not quite right. I am juman only because of what I was created as, a love of two, of multiple before me, that’s all I know I am. Who am I? I am someone on this earth, someone who may be forgotten in a handful of decades, but not someone useless. I am someone who is trustworthy to some, a lover to one, a bad memory to others, a laughably embarrassing and cringey-worthy to others. You cannot view yourself as truly one thing, humans are very complex beings, you are not just one thing, you are someone made of so many atoms and stars and layers. I myself am but a vessel on another screen, being viewed by you, a different vessel, not anything like me, and yet my words may resonate with you.

It is 2:49am, I have a 9:30am class in the morning.