#mine disappeared for 10 days and came back different | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mr2swap · 2 years ago

Text

wedding gift for "dad"

I feel terrible about how things turned out for me and my son David, but there is nothing I can do now. All I can do is live the life David always wanted for himself and his husband, Andrew.

I met Andrew when he was just a little boy who used to come every afternoon to play with my son David, the two of them were inseparable so much that I came to consider Andrew as the second son I never had, the years passed, and I saw how Andrew and David became men, until that moment I never believed that there was more than friendship between them, they were always so fanatical of spending their afternoons training in the gym until long hours of the night, studying in long sleepovers that lasted all weekend week and rehearsing their choreographies for the dance club they were both enrolled in. I guess I should have seen the signs.

10 years ago while the whole family was together and David was next to him, he decided to tell us the truth, they had been secretly dating for so long that I almost choked on a mouthful of my wife's delicious meatloaf, they all seemed quite happy at that moment everyone except me.

I was so stupid back then that at that moment, I decided that the man in front of me was not my son anymore, I started treating him differently, I cut myself off from him and Andrew completely, damn it! I even felt sorry that everyone on our street knew about it before I did. I'm 59 years old, in my day all that shit was kept secret, of course there were gay people, but I never thought David would be one of them.

For the good of the family I decided to just ignore David, but when he and Andrew came to my house with an invitation to their wedding I just couldn't help myself anymore, I told David that I didn't agree with his lifestyle and if he wanted to be gay had to be done outside this house and forever, I wouldn't attend the wedding of two fagots, let alone let someone from my family know about it.

From that moment I did not see David or Andrew again, until their wedding day, I was alone at home watching the football game on television, my wife had betrayed me and left me alone to go to the wedding from David and Andrew, I drank a six pack of beers just to forget today's wedding, but while you were watching the game something strange happened, I don't know if it was the effect of the beers or maybe the strange wish that my son made, I swear that In a simple blink that I lived in slow motion I was transported from the comfortable sofa in my house to a hotel room.

I looked around surprised because my living room had become an elegant room on the twelfth floor of a hotel, believing that I was in an extremely realistic dream, I looked at my hands, they were no longer old and wrinkled, now they were firm and young, my clothes I had also changed instead of a dirty tank top that highlighted my huge belly and yellowed boxer shorts I was now dressed in a fancy tuxedo, I looked down in surprise that my belly didn't obstruct my vision to see my feet which were now in a pair in elegant black shoes.

-This must be a dream…-

I said out loud and startled by the sudden change in the tone of my voice, something seemed familiar in that voice, but I didn't know what it was, I decided to believe that I was in a lucid dream thanks to all the pain that I normally suffered in my back and on my knees they disappeared, with my long and firm fingers I held my hard and firm pectorals, even the sensations on my skin were different and for some reason my nipples were also much more sensitive.

I kept using my fingers to highlight each of my muscles, I continued down towards my chiseled abs, surprised to find myself with the hardness of my muscles instead of a grotesque round belly, I looked to the sides trying to find a mirror, so I could see myself better, and luckily I found one that was on the other side of the huge hotel room.

When I first looked at my reflection, I immediately recognized the face that was now mine.

-AHHH!!!-

Indeed, that was not my face, it was the face of my son David, I fell backwards terrified by the impact of seeing my son again and at the same time knowing that I was him, I remained silent for a whole minute making movements slowly while crawling to the mirror my eyes did not take off for a single second from the reflection in the mirror that imitated each of my movements.

As I knelt in front of the mirror, I examined my son's mature handsome face, his perfectly trimmed beard, his whitened teeth, and his hair which I had recently painted black.

-What the fuck is… This?-

I caressed my new face while making strange expressions with my son's face in the mirror, to verify that it was me who was there. Suddenly, from the other side of the room, the ringing of a telephone made me wake up from hypnosis in who was submerged while looking at my face.

I stood up and awkwardly walked to the phone now that I was aware of the vast difference between my obese body and the young body of my gay son.

Before I had the phone in my hands I looked at the number, immediately recognizing it was the number we had had in the house for years, less and less convinced that this was a dream, I picked up the phone and simply answered it.

-He-hello?-

For five long seconds that seemed like an eternity the phone remained silent, a hoarse and thick voice broke the silence in which we were.

-Dad are you?-

-Who speaks? David? for the love of god what's happening?-

-Oh shit! If you are the one in my body, I… I'm sorry, I think this is my fault.-

-David, where the hell are you? and where am i? why is this your fault?

I had to sit down for the long conversation we had that day, he doesn't know exactly what happened, he was just getting ready to go down to the reception and be on his wedding day, but it seems an unexpected gift arrived, from out of nowhere a mysterious gift appeared on the floor, it was in front of the door so I guess it was a gift from her future husband or maybe the reception had sent them something in gratitude for renting the ballroom, the gift box was simple and it only had a name on it.

From: Mr2 Swap

He thought the gift was a mistake, that it simply wasn't for him and one of the hotel workers had got the wrong room, but for some reason he couldn't leave the gift unopened, it was almost as if he was calling him .

When he finished dressing, the gift was still there and David could not resist the supernatural curiosity that invaded him, he took the gift in his hands and opened it, he was not expecting anything specific, but what the box contained surprised him, it was a simple golden ticket

"Valid for one wish"

David looked everywhere, but there were no more letters or signs of who had sent the ticket.

-A wish huh?… I just wish dad was here to see how I get married-

And after that we both woke up in each other's place, while there Disney was counting all this madness I looked everywhere even under the bed, but there was no ticket not even a gift box it was like after his wish was fulfilled would have vanished.

While I was still looking for some clues as to where that strange gift had gone, my wife also dressed in an elegant dress entered the room, as soon as I saw her I knew that she had to find out what had happened to me and David But the words wouldn't come out of my mouth no matter how hard I tried I couldn't say a single word about the exchange or about the real David now being drunk in my body thousands of miles from here.

-the wedding planner is waiting for you son, if you take longer on the phone, we will have to postpone dinner-

Caught by the magic of the ticket, I act exactly as David did, I took one last look in the mirror and with a smile I fixed my hair, I definitely wouldn't act like this in a situation like this, but David's personality was so dominant in to my mind that now that so much time has passed since then I can't believe that I actually married another man.

I drank a couple of drinks to ease the tension but as soon as I saw Andrew for the first time through my son's eyes it was like seeing him for the first time, he was a bit taller than me he had a lovely smile and had a body so fucking hot in that body hugging black suit that a boner formed when I kissed him in front of my family and David and Andrew's friends

I will never forget my first kiss with Andrew, his lips were firm but soft, his tongue was so wild that I was carried away by the intoxicating taste of his saliva and that slight taste of champagne, with his long and strong arms he caressed my round butt giving me a prelude to what would be my wedding night, the grip on his fingers dug into the meat of my ass like teeth, in my old life I never allowed myself to be weak, but now I enjoyed my newly husband's manipulations.

By the time the wedding ended I was drunk enough to let myself go, the real Andrew noticed my nervousness a bit, but he thought it was just the nerves before the wedding, I hadn't seen my son or Andrew in years, I knew what enough for the time we were together and for what his mother said to convince him that I was the real David.

Hours went by and it got darker and darker, when all the guests had left and me and Andrew went up to the room, the real performance began, the second we walked through the door immediately Andrew took my hands and he tossed me onto the bed like I was a wild animal I stripped naked revealing my son's years worked muscles, my heart was pounding like crazy as I watched Andrew take off his shirt in front of me, I had seen Andrew shirtless a lot of times when I was in my old body, but now it was very different.

As if they had a life of their own my hands began to adore Andrew's massive hairy pecs, I pinched those nipples that were in front of me and buried my face in the middle of his pecs, the smell was delicious, sweat, and a slight scent of champagne spilled on his shirt, Andrew seemed to be enjoying it even more than I was, his moans that must have seemed repulsive to me before now only turned me on more and more as he released one.

Andrew I can't contain myself for another second he took me by the waist and turned my body so that I was lying face down towards the bed, my legs settled as if they knew exactly what was happening, I arched my back and lifted my ass to display it in front of Andrew, this time the moans that filled the room were my own.

Andrew had plunged his face into my ass and with the same ferocity that he had desecrated my mouth he did with my anus, even though he had magically acquired the personality of my son David, all the sensations will be new to me, and my God. , what fucking incredible sensations!

As he used his tongue to please me with his strong, calloused, firm hands, he took my penis and began to masturbate it, for a straight man and I have done the old-fashioned like me all these pleasurable sensations were incredible.

But neither me nor Andrew were satisfied, Andrew stuck his tongue out of my hairy ass and slowly inserted his cock inside me, it was a painful sensation, but somehow familiar and pleasant, he fucked me so hard that day that surely we didn't let sleep to the people in the next room.

He was so drunk and so tired that day that I didn't realize when he had put me to sleep, and when I woke up to the rest of Andrew, I almost fell out of bed. Immediately, all the memories of the day before came to mind. I got out of bed as quietly as possible, took the phone and unlocked it with Andrew's face, it had 58 calls from the real David.

I changed into a pair of my son's tight revealing underwear and went into the bathroom, called David and told him everything that had happened that night, completely avoiding that Andrew and I had fornicated.

It was strange hearing my son cry in my old voice, but there was nothing I could do to comfort him, I just promised him that he would try to figure this out and not ruin his life or his new marriage.

Since that day I have been pretending to be David, every day is something new and to be honest it is exciting, thanks to my new personality I was able to fully adapt to David's gay life the new ideas did not seem disastrous to me as they would have seemed to me in my Old body, I always thought my son was a model or something, I soon found out that he and Andrew were the best strippers in the city where we now live, we had loads of money, I never thought fagots would pay so much just to see me dance, having fun, kissing and stroking my husband's cock in public.

It's been three years since then, Andrew and I have a nice house that we remodeled, a lot of savings in the bank, and we recently started an OnlyFans account as a couple, and he never suspected that she married her boyfriend's father.

Actually no one ever found out about the body swap, that's still our secret between me and David, and speaking of David we talked again after the swap, he has a hard time adjusting to his new life as a bigoted middle-aged man, all those stupid ideas that used to be in my head are now in hers but I think she's adjusting to her new gay son.

It's a bit hard to admit, but I prefer my new life, so I'll try not to open a mystery gift from Mr2 swap again.

Hello, if you liked this story and you want more, you can take a look at my Ko-Fi page to see my most recent stories, see my new stories and support me to continue creating this hot content.

#body swap #male body swap #bodyswap #body switch #male transformation

557 notes · View notes

spilledcoffeeonthefloor · 8 months ago

Text

i have this fic idea but I'm a terrible writer, so I'm handing the honor to ya'll.

raven Neil helps kevin get out of the nest with a broken hand at 16 and kevin promised to come back for him and jean. few months after that, right after Neil helps jean out too, he apparently dies. (apparently). kevin also goes to his funeral and literally see him dead as fuck, and getting buried for real. he also thinks that jean died too, since he suddenly disappeared from the nest.

3 years later, kevin and other foxes are coming back to fox tower after the practic, since he joined the foxes, and there's a kid sitting on the bricks by the tower's door, maybe 9 or 10 years old with dirt on his face and a little mod on his hair and nothing else but a duffel bag and a guitar case.

he jumps up and approach the foxes when he sees kevin

he asks "hi. are you kevin?" he told kevin

everybody shot questioning looks at kevin, but he himself is way more surprised.

"I'm kevin, who are you?"

"my brother told me to come and find you. he left the house this morning and said if he wasn't back by night, i should come and find you to stay with you until he comes to pick me up."

well, wtf?

"kid, who are you, where are your parents?"

"how do you even know kevin?"

"i don't know kevin. my brother told me to come here and look for kevin day. he said you have a 2 on your face, that's how i guessed you might be kevin."

"who is your brother? and what about your parents?"

"what's your name baby?"

"what's with that guitar case."

"EVERYBODY STOP TALKING AT THE SAME TIME" dan kneels in front of the kid

"could you tell me your name, kid?"

"I'm oliver."

"ok. ok oliver, who is your brother"

"Neil."

dan looks at kevin

"kevin, do you know a Neil?"

"no. not that i could remember. what's your last name?"

"mine is davis."

"i don't know any Neil davis"

"no only I'm davis, he is josten."

"he has a different last name?"

"he is my not my real brother, can i stay here ot not? I'm tired and dirty."

"mouthy."

"he is right tho."

"where are your parents, oliver?"

"Neil's my only family."

"kevin?"

"of course he can stay Dan what the fuck? you don't even have to ask for kevin's opinion, he is a kid and he is alone. are you hungry kid?"

the kid stares at Nicky, then nods.

"ok let's go inside, someone calls wymack."

kevin is definitely fucking confused, so are eveybody else.

then while somebody is preparing food,(Nicky probably), the foxes kinda, Interrogate the mysterious kid.

"how did you find here?"

"Neil left the address"

"how did Neil knew kevin was here?"

"i don't know."

"had he said anything about kevin before?"

"no."

"kevin, any thoughts?"

"alcohol"

"no."

"ok, let's keep calm, where do you live?"

"Colombia"

"how did you get here from there?"

"taxi."

"ok, ok ok so, do you want to go back and get some of your stuff?"

" the house was set on fire, i was afraid and wanted to go back mid way, but when i went back, it was ruined, so i got another taxi and came here again."

"*gapes"

"what the fuck."

"what the fuck for real."

"you could stiw be at the house and it would be so bad!"

"shut up all of you, how old are you oliver?"

"ten."

"ok, ok so-"

"Dan you're panicing"

"no I'm not, ok so, so oliver, how does Neil look like? maybe if you tell us then kevin can recognize him"

"would you throw me out if kevin doesn't recognize him?"

"NOOO"

"absolutely not"

"it's not even kevin's decision"

"No ollie. is it ok of i call you ollie? could you tell us how Neil looks like?"

"brown eyes, brown hair, um, he is short, little taller than him" points at Andrew.

"kevin?"

"No"

so, they talk to the kid, get him clothes, feed him and he stays with the monsters till wymack gets there and suggest he stays with abby but oliver wants to stay with kevin, because well, Neil told him so.

a week passes. oliver finds out Andrew is so much like Neil. he looks scary and an asshole but he feels safe. so ollie just automatically keeps following him around. he throws random facts about Neil every now and then, and well, doesn't he seem fucking interesting?

when he accidentally touches Andrew and he lashes out, Allison tells him that Andrew is an Asshole in general and has problems. ollie says it's ok and it doesnt mean Andrew is an asshole, he says that Neil taught him that you shouldn't touch people without their permission and some people don't like to be touched, like Neil himself. he says that sometimes Neil doesn't let ollie hug him or put his head on his lap for a nap, but Neil told him that it doesn't have anything to do with the person and it doesn't mean he doesn't love him, it's like I'm scared of clowns, and if you invite one to your birthday, I'm not coming. it doesn't have anything to do with you.

when they ask how did he and Neil became brothers, he says that his parents found Neil injured and almost dying and took him in. the his parents die in an accident and Neil had been taking care of them both since, even tho he is just nineteen.

he tells Andrew he knows why he wears armbands because Neil wears them too.

he tells the foxes Neil is so smart and so stupid and the same time

he tells them once his uncle, who is an asshole, told him something bad and disgusting and when be told Neil about it, Neil said not to worry and their uncle never visited them again. he suspects Neil had done something probably.

he tells them he always starts fights.

he tells them Neil once patched himself up with dental floss and a niddle.

he says Neil loves his guitar and it's probably the only thing he likes, that's why he brought it with him.

he tells them stories about him and Neil. how Neil learned how to bake him cookies, the cool car toys he buys him, the bigges birthday cake he had for his nineth birthday, how he laughed for ten minutes when they called from school and said his teacher caught him cheating at math, how good Neil is at math, how he never saw him with a girl, how much he runs, when he taught him exy, when he dyed his hair orange once, how he picks him up om time everyday from school, the shark shaped sandwiches he makes him for school lunch, the spiderman backpack he bought him, when he sings and thinks no one is hearing.

one time when Andrew wakes up from a nightmare, he sees ollie waking up too. he tells him Neil has nightmares often amd he thinks ollie doesn't know, but he once stopped breathing and was shaking and ollie was scared and went to help him, and from that time he always woke up when Neil had a nightmare to make sure he doesn't feel bad like that again( he meant panic attack but he is just 10)

ollie stays there for almost 3 weeks, he stays with abby after a while cause you can't just let a kid live in a dorm, but Andrew and kevin both stayed with him at abby's, and all the other foxes would always visit. they would take him to practice, let him play exy and teach him.

olli was a great kid. smart, polite, nice and kind.

abby would hug him whenever he missed Neil and started crying. Matt and Nicky would take him shopping and buy him toys. he would play toy cars with Rene and Dan and practice exy with kevin. Seth and Allison would take him to zoo and even Aaron had a soft spot for the kid.

And Andrew, well, was his safe place. he would go to him when he had a nightmare, would ask him stupid questions, would hide behind him when he saw something he was scared of, would ask him if he could put his head on his lap and would cry with his head on his shoulder and tell him how worried he is cause Neil hasn't come to get him yet.

when the foxes ask what if Neil doesn't come for him, he just says he knows he will, Neil never breaks his promise.

so, almost a month and the foxes love ollie.

one day after the practice, when they are all at the locker room and ollie is putting away his own special gears, Seth starts messing with him jokingly (like he does all the time) and pulls his shirt, but he accidentally pulls too hard and ollie trips and falls down with a small shout.

well guess what? that exact moment a bloody dude(literally, bleeding from everywhere) shows up out of nowhere growling" don't fucking touch him"

well, yes,it's Neil ofc.

and everybody are like :O

and the dude can barely stand but he attacks Seth but before he can beat the shit out of him ollie appears in front of him and stops him

and in a second Neil pulls ollie behind him to protect him and stands defensive and ready to kill. Andrew takes out his knives

Neil then lands eyses on kevin, and well, he asked ONE THING FROM KEVIN AND HE LEY THESE PEOPLE HURT OLLIE???

then goes to launch himself at kevin with a "i fucking trusted your coward ass you fucking-"

but then ollie starts crying and pulls his shirt (which was ripped literally) and asks him to stop and swears this people didn't hurt him and took care of him.

then Neil says ok and hugs ollie, then turns to kevin and tells him they are even. kevin standing there looking like he was a ghost.( he was actually) then Neil tells ollie they're leaving but ollie cries harder and says Neil is hurt and Abby is a nurse and can help him. Neil pulls on a BAMF when other foxes say the same and says this is literally nothing and he is completely well, but ollie cries even harder and he can't say no to ollie so he just says ok and then after his first step, he falls to his knees and literally collapses (everybody are lol he really is as stubborn and asshole as ollie said).

then Neil wakes up at abby's, then has a talk with kevin and kevin be like wtf u were dead.

and he is like yeah no jean is also alive.

and foxes all standing around his bed and staring at him cause wtf this is really The Neil.

also Neil is so bad ass btw.

then he has a talk with ollie.

he probably disappeared cause his father found out he was still alive. he came back for ollie anyway.

then we have the Andreil tension start.

then wymack offers him a place on the team and be declines cause well, he is supposed to be dead. Neil doesn't really like exy that much here, his new coping mech is music. he stays for a week at Abby's to recover, panicks over how many days ollie lost of school. kevin asks how he knew he was here and he says he had bought a home near here for a reason. ollie is smart and knows Neil likes to actually go to collage but won't for ollie's sake. he suggests to go live with his aunt. then we have some arguments here. and then i don't really know actually. ollie would probably go live with his aunt wich is a good woman and then just Romance probably

bye

#all for the game #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil #the foxes #the foxhole court #aftg fanfic #kevin day #the sunshine court

58 notes · View notes

synnamonroll666 · 2 years ago

Text

Gladly Devoured

Prompt 10: Predator/Prey Pairing: Syzoth X Fem!Reader Description: Syzoth walks in on you when you are getting changed for bed. He was never the type to do something so bold and forward, so you were quite shocked by this sudden change in in his demeanor. But little due you know, it's mating season, and Syzoth intends on making you pleasurably aware... Warnings: Humiliation, NonCon In The Beginning (Syzoth Walks In On You Naked, You Are Embarrassed At First. 😅), BlowJob (Female Receiving), P In V, Unsafe Sex, Creampie, Syzoth's In Heat... Word Count: 1.7k Main MasterList: 🖤 Kinktober MasterList: 🖤 Synny's Angels: @lorebite, @mornandil, @queenkhepri, @bihansthot.

⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒

I laid out my nightgown on my bed, preparing to put it on so I could go straight to sleep afterwards. I was pretty exhausted from a long day of work, and the heat did not help one bit. That was a part of the reason why I was almost hesitant to put on the gown before me. I was already naked, and it did make quite a difference to my body's temperature; I didn't want to change that in any way.

I stood there for a moment, contemplating what to do. Then a sudden, uneasy feeling fell over me—a feeling that something unexpected was about to happen. And that's when Syzoth busted into my room unannounced, throwing open my door without a single knock ahead of time.

"Syzoth!" I cried as I quickly grabbed my nightgown and covered my body with it. "Have you ever heard of knocking?!"

Syzoth was a polite man, making this very out of character for him. I expected him to quickly avert his eyes away from me and stammer out several apologies as he stumbled backwards out of my room. Even though accidents can happen, I still expected some kind of guilt for his sudden boldness. But instead, I got the exact opposite.

Syzoth's eyes grew wide as his eyes slowly roamed down my form, along with his pupils dilating more by the second. I swallowed thickly as he stared at me intensely, and I began to realize that this was way more than a "deer caught in headlights" situation. Hell, if it were, he most likely would have disappeared by now.

His eyes were stuck on me like magnates, making me feel smaller and smaller by the second. Then his chest began to raise and fall quicker and quicker with each breath he took, and his skin became flushed quite deeply than it normally would when he was embarrassed.

"Y-You look so—so good!" His voice came out like an inhuman hiss as he slowly began to approach me.

With each step forward he took, I took one step backwards. That is, until my back hit the wall, trapping me from any escape. His hands slammed on either side of me on the wall—caging me between them—and his face drew near my own as his eyes roamed over my features. I tried to wiggle free, but his body pressed against mine roughly, pinning me in place as he drank me in. And when he did so, I felt it—the erection growing within his pants.

"I could smell you all the way down the hall. I just had to see if you looked as appealing as your scent was. And I was right!" He hissed deeply, and I visibly shuddered as a chill went down my spine.

He then backed away, and for a moment, I thought I was free to leave. But a part of me didn't want to—a part of me wanted him to continue on and make me feel things I had been craving for so long. So instead of leaving, I walked over to my bed and calmly laid down, spreading my legs wide as I did so.

His eyes broadened with desire as they studied my form. I felt so exposed—so embarrassed being spread out for him like this—but it did so well to ignite the heat within me, striking up a small fire that was just waiting to grow into the explosion it was meant to be. When his tongue darted out to swipe over his lower lip slowly, I knew I was done for.

He jumped on top of me as he let out a feral growl, and my lips parted with a gasp. He held me down firmly, his nose dragging along that spot right under my jawline as he inhaled deeply to take in my scent.

"Smells so perfect!" He snarled lowly before slowly dragging his tongue along my throat. "Tastes so perfect too! The perfect meal for me!"

I glanced up at him shyly to see him staring down at me with intense eyes as he firmly clenched his teeth. For a moment, I expected him to bite me. Luckily, he didn't though. Instead, he slowly crawled down my figure until his face was right in a more forbidden area. And it was then that I knew I was fucked.

He lowered his head and buried his face between my thighs, inhaling deeply to take in my scent. Right after, he quickly began licking and suckling my throbbing mound, earning a loud moan to escape me as he devoured me like a starving animal. His fingers dug deeply into my thighs, causing my blood to well up below his nails as they cut into my flesh. But I didn't mind at all—I was too focused on the pleasure of his forked tongue working away at me.

I reached both hands down and buried them within his soft locks, pulling at the roots as I buckled my hips into his face. He responded with a feral growl, sending the vibrations of his voice through my mound and straight to my core.

I cried out and writhed beneath him as forbidden arousal built up within, clouding my mind from comprehending anything but the pleasure I was being given. It felt too good—too good to care about morals and just let my gaurd down for once; it was exactly what I needed.

Soon, I was screaming out as my climax hit me fast. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I experienced a high like nothing I had ever felt before. It was like I had died and descended to heaven—I could see the light flourishing before me.

After coming off my high, my chest rose and fell quickly as I attempted to catch my breath and gather myself. I let out a breathy laugh, astonished by how the night had turned from so calm to so wild so fast.

"That was wonderful." I breathed while slowly and gently running my fingers through Syzoth's soft hair. In some ways, it was less for him and more a way for me to calm myself.

Then he pulled away from me, a trail of my slick mixed with his spit still connecting me to his lips until the line finally broke when he was far away enough for it to do so. Merely seconds later, he began slowly crawling up my body, licking his lips as he did so. And as I began to finally come out of my post-orgasmic daze, I saw the predator look in his eyes.

He leaned down until his hot breath fanned my ear and he let out a scoff. I swallowed as I realized that I was a fool to think I was getting off easy, and upon realizing that, Syzoth made his intentions painfully clear.

"Oh, you think we are done?" He let out an almost mocking laugh, and my eyes widened at his words. "Sweetie, we are nowhere near done here!"

After those words were spoken, I screamed out as I felt something long and thick pry my walls open. I must have been too distracted by his teasing words to realize that he had his member out and ready for entry. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes as he shoved it deeply into my hole, each hard inch stretching me out wide until his tip was bruising my cervix.

My body began to tremble violently as I clenched around his girth, adjusting to his size as quickly as I could. But I barely had time to do so, as he was quick to withdraw himself from my core before shoving himself back in. Within seconds, he was repeating his sloppy pattern at a pace that seemed impossible.

With each jerk of his hips—each reentry—I was pushed closer and closer to the edge, destined to fall over once again. Without even realizing it, I began writhing against his touch, since the pleasure was growing far too intense for me to handle a second time.

Syzoth flashed me a wicked grin—like a big bad wolf would to his prey—and his hands slid from my now-ripped bedsheets to firmly hold me down against the mattress below me. His voice came out deep and course—like a feral growl to symbolize his hunger for me—as he rutted deeper and deeper into my core.

Then—with a loud roar like the beast he is—Syzoth released his seed within me. The pressure of hot, thick ropes of his cum spilling into my sweet spot and filling me to the brim was more than enough to shove me spiraling over the edge. I screamed and cried out as I came undone beneath him, squirming and shaking as much as I could with him still pinning me firmly.

I was surprised when Syzoth lowered his head to my collarbone to sink his teeth into my flushed flesh. The sting of his sharp canines cutting into my skin only added to the ecstasy clouding my mind, causing tears to spill from my broadening eyes.

I came to when Syzoth collapsed on top of me—the Zaterran was too weak to support his own weight. Instinctively, my hands found purchase on his head, fingers burying within his dark locks, and my nails raking gently over his scalp with each slow stroke. My actions earned a soft grumble to emit from his chest as his arms snaked around me to pull me closer.

He nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply to take in my scent as he relished basking in my post-coitus heat. Then he lowered his head to press a few soft kisses on my collarbone before darting his forked tongue out to gently lick the blood off of the fresh wounds he had caused.

I sighed deeply as the warmth of his tongue soothed the stinging pain of the bite, and my eyes fluttered shut as I melted into a moment of pure relaxation. I felt so calm and at peace.

After licking me clean of my blood, Syzoth returned his face to the crook of my neck. Nuzzling against my sweat-soaked flesh, he released a pleased sigh. In that very moment, I heard him whisper so quickly that it was almost inaudible—words that would stay engraved within my mind forever—words that I would look back on several times throughout the years to yearn for the excitement and pleasure that I had once felt:

"My sweet, beautiful prey—how I've enjoyed devouring you."

⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒⛥⭒

#mortal kombat 1 #mk1 #mortal kombat reptile #mk reptile #reptile #reptile x reader #mortal kombat syzoth #mk syzoth #syzoth #syzoth x reader #kinktober 2023 #SinnamonsSpicyFics

168 notes · View notes

musigenic · 6 months ago

Text

2012: my top 10 albums and the mess of it all

it’s 2012. i’m 15, messy, and trying to figure it all out. we’re in peak tumblr culture, before it got sanitized. lana’s playing on my cracked iPod touch while i scribble in a diary hidden under my bed. this list is as much about the music as it is about the moments it soundtracked. let’s get into it

top 10 albums of 2012:

"Born to Die" - Lana Del Rey this album raised me. “blue jeans” had me walking through the halls of my high school like i was the protagonist of the saddest indie film.

diary, february 16, 2012 i’m sad but still want to be hot.

2. "Channel Orange" - Frank Ocean this album wasn’t just music; it was therapy.

diary, july 10, 2012 my best friend didn’t even flinch when i said i thought girls were prettier than boys. she said, ‘duh.’

3. "Visions" - Grimes this was the sound of my tumblr dashboard coming to life. alien, weird, ethereal; grimes was the patron saint of every girl trying to escape her boring small-town life.

diary, march 23, 2012 i wore eyeliner today. not like normal eyeliner, but grimes eyeliner. mom asked if i was okay. i told her i was fine.

4. "good kid, m.A.A.d city" - Kendrick Lamar this one hit different, even though his world was a million miles from mine.

diary, october 2, 2012 the lyrics to ‘bitch, don’t kill my vibe’ are gonna be my next tattoo.

5. "Electra Heart" - Marina and the Diamonds marina gave me a blueprint for being heartbreakingly dramatic and still kind of in control.

diary, may 14, 2012 put on ‘primadonna’ and danced around my room until i collapsed. the mirror and that fucking cockroach were my audience.

6. "An Awesome Wave" - Alt-J this album felt like discovering a secret. it wasn’t for everyone, but it was for me.

diary, august 28, 2012 it’s like they took all my weird thoughts and made them pretty. maybe one day, i’ll figure out how to do that too.

7. "Halcyon" - Ellie Goulding this was my running-away album. when i wanted to disappear, i put on “anything could happen” and imagined hopping on a train to somewhere no one knew me.

diary, november 3, 2012 i’m tired of being stuck. maybe one day i’ll leave and never come back.

8. "The Idler Wheel..." - Fiona Apple fiona apple’s raw, unfiltered genius was like a slap in the face. she made me feel seen in my anger, my sadness, my everything.

diary, june 5, 2012 i slammed my door so hard today that the handle came loose. i’m so full of everything and nothing all at once. it’s exhausting.

9. "Lonerism" - Tame Impala this album was my escape into another universe.

diary, september 17, 2012 math class is hell. i put on ‘feels like we only go backwards’ and pretended i was floating instead of stuck in a desk surrounded by people i’ll probably forget in five years. (SO DRAMATIC WTF)

10. "Some Nights" - fun. this one was pure drama, and i loved it. it was the soundtrack to all my overthinking, overfeeling, and overwhelming moments.

diary, april 11, 2012 sometimes life’s okay, i guess.

2012 was a mess, and so was i, but looking back, it was kind of beautiful in it. these albums carried me through the storm, each one a little lighthouse guiding me somewhere better. here’s to the music that saves us when nothing else can.

6 notes · View notes

the-ultimate-pie-family · 2 years ago

Text

Blood: ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! *charges summoning his blood keyblade jumps*

Slender pony: *catches blood by his throat as he tries swinging* bye blood *stabs blood, taking out god of his body and dropping blood, walking away* Thanks for god blood it's so easy to kill u now

Blood: *vomits white blood getting up, gripping his blood keyblade* i-i..... *kneels down* ...... done yet

Slender pony: u can beraly stand let inly fight face it ur dead now bye bye *walks off laughing*

Blood: *gets up slowly running* im not done till i see im done!!!!!!!!! *jumps slashing slender pony*

Slender pony: ahhh *smacks blood to a tree watching him hang their* ur washed up u old fuck and accept u lost the fight u can now rest in peace

"Blood hanged there, then something in his body brought fire back to his soul"

Blood: *free himself* ooooh slendy baby

Slender pony: Ugh, u never learn. *turns seeing blood in front of him, but something was different about blood*

Blood: wat wrong baby.........all i want is for u to be mine

"Slender pony fell to the ground crawling away"

Slender pony: p-plz me-ercy.........

Blood: Aww, does my baby want mercy........ *looks in the sky, feeling the rain coming down, hitting his face* too bad all out of mercy *jaw detaches as his body opens up eating slender pony whole taking god back*

God: wat in the unholy shit was that, babe? B-babe?

Blood: *waits*

JTK: *appears stabbing blood in his heart with a kitchen knife* huh?

Blood: *breaks jeffs arm clean off, pulling the kinfe* ............ goodbye Jeffrey

"Then jane came out smacking blood with a baseball bat, then jane felt a sharp pain in her side"

Jane: ....... *looks at blood* dear god........

Blood: *smiles pulsing jane threw a tree, killing her* Now Jeffrey, where were we

Jeff: *howls calling the other getting his neck snapped*

"Blood started feasting on jeffs blood, gaining his strength back."

God: blood stop plz ur scaring me.......

Blood: *stand there waiting for the other to arrive* Don't worry, sugar, it won't take long *summoning the kingdom keyblade*

God: blood plz don't i beg u this will kill u

Blood: *grips the kingdom keyblade crying* i know......im scared of dying........ ever since we became one, i have always wanted to die, but u showed me the love the happiness that comes from my family, my friend, everything u showed me god I'll always remember then when im gone........thank u for everything........

God: blood plz i beg u to run while we still have a chance. i can't u lose u now. *starts crying* plz blood run.........

Blood: *falls on his knees as the kingdom keyblade disappeared, looking into the sky* Did i ever tell u ur the best thing that ever happened to me ur holiness........

God: blood plz let take control.......there's still time to get away........plz.......

Blood: u could've this whole time, god.......but u know im right.......

God: no no no no i won't accept it. i won't lose u blood, not now *takes control, feeling her heart slowly beating again.* blood..........I WON'T LET U DIE ON ME!!!!!!!!

"God let out a holy flash erasing the day they met the creepypasta"

"God woke up on her throne in heaven"

God: blood? Babe? Blood?! Pinkie?!

Sadira: My lord, everything ok?

God: Sadira, where's blood i need to see him now

Sadira: blood, my lord?

God: Don't play dumb where's my vessel? *grabs Sadira* Where is blood rainbow pie!!

Sadira: My lord......he's alive still in the hospital. Why do u want him as a vessel he's a killer........

God: wat r u saying Sadira? Blood has been my vessel for 10 centuries

Sadira: My lord blood was just inmates to the hospital now from an accident

God: That means, oh no, Sadira, how long does blood have till he dies

Sadira: Not long, his injuries r bad. Everything in him is shutting down soon he'll be no more

God: *smacks Sadira away from her diving down to bloods body but was stopped* huh? No no no it can't be no no no no it can't be!!!!!!! I refuse to let u go blood u r mine!!!!!!!!!!!! *enters bloods body*

"Blood woke up remembering a flash he looked around he was on a hospital bed"

Blood: *gets off the bed walking home* Thanks for not forgetting about me, babe wat was that?

God: The erase time spell. i guess it went too far.....im sorry......

Blood: Thanks, babe. *opens the door to castle getting greeted by his first daughter and his mom and his other baby daughter*

Pinkie: Welcome home, son

#spotify #ponyville #the ultimate pie family #mlp #creepypasta #erase spell

3 notes · View notes

onmymasa22 · 28 days ago

Text

I need for the wrong people to step aside. And for the right people to just be ok. I need to welcome everything beautiful into my life. See clearly how u wouldve put judaism aside for a guy. I was someone who tells me across the bored that what he wants is real.

I like you. And you like me. Can we just call it a mistake. But acknowlede rhat we like eachpther. Im still processing. Im not good at stuff like that. I was religious. And then when i was 19, i was at a house w these ppl, an older couple. Their grandchildren came on a weekend i slept there. And this guy came in my room, locked the door, and tried to take off my clothes. That was my first experience with sexually. I think it took me a week to say something. But all i wanted to do was cry. I remember that. And then at 20 i moved here. I just turned 21 when i was in a car and

I had to stop. Because if u would do anything wrong, if you would go past a boundary of mine, it would be my fault because im in your room. Thats my issue.

I'm terrified of not being listened to. Of being a barbie again. Where i just scense that all they want is a doll, so i just become a doll. I disassociate. And i want to cry. Kissing also kind of scares me that ur gonna stick ur tounge down my throat and im gonna pass out again, go black, and throw up. The thing is through, i didnt want to kiss him. I didnt want him kissing me.

I love my jewelry. Jewelry, perfume. Thats the stuff i like. I like having good towels. I think im like my family like that. We are people that like nice things, but we dont pay a lot for them. I just want to live my life. Doing what i love. And one day, grandma simas engagement ring will be mine. The woman i never met. But the ring that i love more. Ill wear that diamond ring. All that jewelry one day will be mine. I gave back the bracelets to make it into a nice bracelet.

I want a guy where everything feels good.

I want fabric thats more white and does what i want it to in the chalal. Go and get fabric, get glue.

So i want to talk for a second about working out. Im not a working out person. And this year im trying different things to make me feel better.

Get stuff to make butterflies

Its funny when you can talk to someone until 5am about philosophy. And u dont know any of the terms or the people. U just understand the concepts

I want to disappear. I domt need to br remembered in a super way. I would like to be an Esrog tree. Or really a lemon tree. I want music playing. Just a girl who bought detergent at the store and saw blue nail polish that was named "my job is beach" and doing laundry. And im so greatful for this past shabbos. Spending friday cooking and working with a friend, sitting on a big beautiful balcony. And talking to them until like 5am. Slept till like 10, and Its cool how you try to figure out different things about the world through words, defining words and figuring out what they mean, and what they mean in relation to eachother. And i do the same thing with art. I try to figure out what i think about things.

Why is art a chase after whats interesting. Why cant it be as simple and as difficult as "this is how i see the world. This was me working through some things. Maybe its not super interesting. But i want to show you what i think about stuff. I could write a paper. Thats why my stuff isnt on instagram. Its weird. Cuz im trying to work through stuff. I use itbas therapy. I could write a paper in philosophy. But i do art. Its almost like showing what went on in a therapy session abd now letting people judge the fact that you put it on a white podium versus a black podium. Its like someone arguing with you about the font you used. Why dod u choose this paper. Why did

Art studio

Bigwindows

Get a podium

A bookshelf-

Next week do flowers

When doron said- no it wasnt a mistake. I wanted to kiss u.

U know what. It was tge drugs that made u do that. But it wasnt really that. U wanted to. And weed lowers ur inhibition. I want a guy who wants me and is man enough to deal with me all the time.

0 notes

panicx83 · 2 months ago

Text

Dedicated to you

——-

A small test read from the story „Muse of the Past“ that I‘ve been working on.

Hope you enjoy!

———

I was waiting at the other side of the bathroom door as I heard my brother collapse onto the toilet. Whenever I took a deeper breath, I could smell his scent on my shoulder - sweat and alcohol infused together. The toilet flushed after a while and the sound of water flowing broke slightly muted through the creaked open door. I’ve seen these doors more often than, I could remember a conversation with him that lasted longer than 10 minutes.

“I told you to stop coming here,” he said, and let the fabric of his sleeve soak up the water that dripped down his chin.

Yet I always found myself wanting to hold him up.

“If you wouldn't practically live here, then I wouldn't bother.” My words sounded harsher than in my head.

Cherith stumbled against the door before swinging it with his right hand back into the lock. The smell of urine and vomit penetrated my nose. I wonder if he has got used to it. He leans against the wall next to me while making sure to keep distance.

“Why do you act like you don't care and still show up?”

Eyes I knew by heart met mine.

Have you forgotten the blood that runs through our veins?

He didn't wait for me to answer, instead he started walking towards the white door at the end of the floor. While pushing the door open, he took out a scrunched up pack of cigarettes - possibly stolen from the old geezer sitting in the font of the casino - and disappeared out of my view. I remained still before following him outside into the cold November night. His expression is unreadable. It has formed to be a routine over the years. I would ask myself what he might be thinking and fail.

“How’s work?”, he broke the silence and allowed the smoke to take hostage of his lungs.

“Just like the last time you asked.” I leaned against the railing and immediately felt the icy temperature of the metal

My work wasn't what he really wanted to hear.

How do you talk to a stranger you once knew?

I believed he misses it sometimes, the freedom he taught me and the broken rules he now bounds himself to. After that, neither of us uttered a word. In the beginning, I would come get him and drive him home once a month. That turned into once a week, twice a week then thrice a week, twice a day, and he looked worse than the abandoned strays.

He had asked me once, while helping him get to his bedroom, if I only came to see how miserable he is. To remind myself that I couldn't fall as deep as he did and feel better about my own - I never answered him, and he never brought it up again.

This time it was no different. We both watched the sun surpass the horizon and colour the rooftops in a beautiful orange-yellow veil. And for a moment it felt like I was just a girl hanging out with her big brother again.

#writing #oc #original character #art #author #writers on tumblr

0 notes

plexigod · 5 months ago

Text

sewing something new inside me, needle pulls me closer to the body..

i’ll find a way to repair the damage

i’ll find a way to return the world this love

i’ll find a way to release the shame i carry

i’ll find away,

there are answers still to be found on this plane. i won’t abandon my story because there are things inside it i can’t bear to see. am i any different from the people who turned their backs on me when i was caught in the trap, if i turn away from what pains me to witness in my past.. helpless not like i couldn’t learn to help myself (and i did) but helpless like the moment you lock eyes with a person while they make the decision to walk away because because because.. (there is always some flat, lifeless reason) and if one day you find the courage to ask them, those words fall out of their mouth like they’ve been long dead. words, half lies to themselves and half lies to you. but you already knew that before you even consciously understood what had happened. not dwelling but talking to the ghost before me. what power do you, do these memories have over me? when the truth finally comes it’s always bitter and sickening. nauseas for months at even a glimpse of remembering. but when it’s a relationship 30, 25, 10 years in the making i can’t cut it out of me. those useless words and the forgiveness i use like a surgical tool. i forgive you. get out of me. i forgive you. leave my memory. i forgive you. it hurts more when the memory is good. it hurts more when i remember how big my love was despite what i knew but i was raised that way. to sacrifice myself so someone else could breathe easily. don’t bring it up, don’t tell the truth, don’t make it weird, don’t say what you think. was all my love wasted? it was mine in the end. some people can’t be loved, only appeased. it’s always good in the beginning. when it’s bad i tell myself all the bad came from inside me. a contamination of emotion causing people to mistreat me. i caused it. if i believed that, at least i had some sense of control right? well that was a lie.

when a connection gets sick you can’t love it better if the other person isn’t able to love themselves or you.

these experiences made me sharper, and more guarded, observant, quiet. my footsteps don’t make noise. my breath silent. so i thought i was already dead for a while. i lived like a ghost. i didn’t really exist. the abuse got worse and i disappeared into mist. i tried to leave but couldn’t get out of my body. eventually something clicked.

these experiences taught me that all experiences would be like this. not true. the world is warm, and good, and big if you can find where you belong in it. i’m allowed to be who i am, i’m practicing being alive. people can be so good and so kind, like a storybook. people who are happy to see you alive. even my sickness, and my solitude, and the different way i love the world can be a fruitful way of living and can be accepted. i’m getting stronger bit by bit. i hope to be the kind of person i once needed. i want to give it all back in the form of connection and creation.

#paint #charms #february #2025 #space inhabited #paint in my blood #diary entry

0 notes

these-are-my-musings · 1 year ago

Text

I remember so much

the kid with the locker next to mine who volunteered to piss on a acidity test in 5th grade and how it came back more acidic than normal bc of how much soda he drank, the same kid who dreamt of being in the army, and later leaked his girlfriends nudes but somehow they’re still together. I remember going to her house, her mom, her little sister who so clearly looked up to her, her bedroom which I thought was so cool bc she had a bed with another bed that could pull out as a drawer and a tv in her room with princesses? hello kitty? I remember moving schools and losing touch and seeing her at the open house for the middle school we would end up going to together, and how she acted like she didn’t know me. oh well. I remember feeling so out of place when I switched schools and dying to go to middle school to pick up where I left off but everyone was so different and had moved on without me. I remember feeling that way again in high school but the added ache of watching it happen in real time. I remember how awesome and excited I felt to wear my circus costume as a top to school and feeling on top of the world in it and then the discomfort and self consciousness that followed when I noticed how other people reacted. they weren’t ready for me. my grandmas top that mysteriously disappeared from my closet, the white silk one with the bow that tied in the front. sorry grandma. I remember the kid who melted crayons down and made them into valentines in 4th grade, I remember always somehow being in a friend group with an odd number of people. twinning with my sibling during spirit week, being told i was annoying daily by someone i considered my best friend. the first time i was made aware that I'm a loud breather. the crushing disappointment of our poetry presentation in 3rd grade. my music teacher with gorgeous black slightly peppered hair who I absolutely adored and her love of dark chocolate, “don’t call me mrs bennett, that’s my mother”, and her attempt at switching to carob chocolate bc it was healthier. the lunch lady who was so sweet and my hair would always get caught in the buttons on her uniform as she passed by with the trash can. she was so so sweet to me. I remember the first girl I ever had a crush on, her name was victoria and I thought she was beautiful and graceful and I was too shy to even speak to her. I remember the cruelness of most boys I had a crush on, and the sweetness of the ones I never told a soul about. the feeling of walking into school with live piano music filling the air, stopping to buy pencils and erasers from the machine with my best friend, and the deafening silence and anxiety when the piano was no longer playing bc I was late. the birthday party I invited her to with all my new friends at my new school, that she didn’t really fit in with, that I didn’t really fit in with, but what can you do, at 9 going on 10. hearing that the boy I liked liked me back and marching up to him demanding that he ask me out because what else are you supposed to do when you like each other besides date? funny how I still don’t quite get that one. crazy to think how my teacher in 5th grade was slut shaming me, and my other one blatantly disliked me. it was probably the undiagnosed adhd but even still I was just a bit chatty. she deserved better, my younger self. she was so strong to live with that uncertainty and anxiety every day at her age.

1 note · View note

cartoonqueen16 · 2 years ago

Text

Jen 10 My DNA chapter 20

Jen pov

"It's been a week, why are we still here?" I asked while Bleep worked. "Because, you still need to rest and recover you threw up moss the other night for crying out loud, plus here we have all the technology needed to figure out and fix whatever Slix did to you," Albedo said not even looking up from the notebook he was working in. I sighed, I know Albedo is right but I just feel so on edge, scared Max and Gwen might try something.

"They're all done, test your tech out," Bleep said pulling back the cord that was plugged into the back of my neck. I hesitated for a moment but eventually pulled up my screen with no problems, so far so good. I began materializing a few things and testing everything out, I was fixed. "Thanks Bleep." I smiled and hugged my robotic friend close "Of course Jen."

"Chow time." Max suddenly called from the kitchen. Me, Albedo, and Bleep excited the back and sat down at the table where Max set the bowl in front of us, it smelled amazing. I was about to dig in but stopped myself, my eyes and digital lines glowed as I scanned the food for traces of anything I trusted worthy. "You never explained what happened to you, Jen," Max asked taking a sit with Kevin and Gwen. "Me, Albedo, and Kevin were beamed up by a robot one day and he tried taking over my body, this is the result, ...I don't hate it," I said and began eating after determining the food was safe.

Max and Gwen stared at me for a moment before they began eating again. "Mmm, what the crunchy stuff?" Kevin asked with a mouth full of food. "Dung battles," Max said with a smile, Kevin and Gwen both turned green and spat their food out the window. "Mm, it's a very nice crunch," Albedo said and I nodded in agreement.

"Jen!! Jen!!" everyone looked around only hearing laughter, but I heard Megawatt. Anything electrical began to spark, save me and Bleep, and Megawatt appeared from the TV and landed in my lap. "Hey, hey, heyheyheyheyhey, can I have their food since they don't like it, can I, can I, canicanicanicanicani?!!" "Whoa, Whoa, calm down, I don't think they would mind, but next time ask me, and I'll share." Megawatt zipped up and landed in Kevin's lap and began eating his and Gwen's food.

I chuckled and continued eating until an alarm went off. A screen came down between me and Albedo and extended over to Gwen and Max. "No way" "Yes" they both looked at the screen. "What is it?" I asked and Max turned the screen toward me "The mask of Ah Puch." Gwen said.

~~~~~~~~

"The mask of Ah Puch is the guide to the sword of Ek Chuaj," Gwen explained looking at the map being projected. "What kind of alien is Ek Chuaj?" Kevin asked, "Not alien, Myan, Ek Chuaj was the Mayan god of war, his sword is a very powerful weapon." Albedo explained that he looked really serious, just like Max and Gwen.

I shared a look with Kevin and he shrugged. We soon arrived at an oil mining company, "There probably keeping it in the basement." Albedo said then looked at me, "Jen, turn into Grey Matter and let us in." Albedo ordered and I was a little surprised. "U-Um, Ok." "Don't let us down, Jen" Max said sternly, I nodded then transformed and made my way to a gutter and crawled up.

Kevin pov

I watched Jen disappear into the gutter then looked to Max, Gwen, and Albedo. They all seemed intense, I know Jen didn't care about Max or Gwen but Albedo was a different story. "Hey, I don't really care, but you were a little harsh ordering Jen around like that," I said and Albedo glared at me. "We don't expect you to understand," Albedo said and walked out of the RV with Max and Gwen.

*I'm getting a bad feeling." Bleep said moving to hover beside my head. I nodded in agreement then followed after the others with Megawatt latched onto my back. I saw Jen open a cellar door and the others went down but Jen stayed. I put a little hustle in my step, "Hey, you okay?" I asked picking Jen up and holding her in the palm of my hand. "O-Oh, yeah," Jen said and I set her on my shoulder and followed after the others.

"Have you ever seen them this serious before?" I asked, "I've never seen anyone this serious before." Jen said and hopped off my shoulder, shifting back to a human. We kept following the others and eventually found ourselves in a room with a safe. Gwen hit the lock with that mana stuff and opened the safe. "Beautiful." Gwen, Max, and Albedo said in unison while staring at the mask.

"Nice of you to retrieve the mask for us." I turned and some armored dudes were standing behind us. "You guys!" Jen backed up a bit, "Nice to see you again, Jen, or do you go by Omni now?" the dude in the gold mask asked. "Who the heck are you guys?" I asked, "We are the Forever Knights, and we are here for the mask and Jen." I moved to stand in front of Jen.

"Run!" Gwen threw mana at the Forever knights and we all ran. "This is crazy!" I yelled as we ran. "This is pretty relaxed compared to another thing, and you know it," Jen said while charging an energy blast. Jen stopped and turned, firing at the Forever knights, knocking one of them down. "Jen, hurry up!" Albedo ordered harshly and Jen started running again.

We made it outside and to the safety of the RV. Max took off with a led foot making me and Jen fall and roll into the back of the RV. "Are you okay, Kevin?" Jen asked sitting up, "Yeah, but are you, Albedo was a little harsh." Jen nodded but I could see she was a little upset. 'Wait a minute, why do I care, I hate Jen. Right?' I shook my head and sat on the couch, Jen sat beside me pulled her knees to her chest, and pulled up her screen.

I leaned back and everything cooled down. "AH!!?" something rammed into the back of the RV, me and Jen pulled the curtains aside and saw the Forever Knights. "We got company," I said and Max sped up. I looked back out the window and saw two of the Forever Knights imp onto the RV. "There are on the roof!" I called and ran to the front with Jen. "It doesn't matter, we have the mask, that's the only important thing right now!!" Albedo snapped.

The door to the RV was kicked open and one of the forever knights jumped in. "Get lost!" Jen moved in front of me and put up a shield, pushing the knight back towards the door. The other forever knight broke through the roof and grabbed the mask and Jen. "Jen!" the forever knights jumped out with Jen. "Grandpa, they got the mask!" Gwen said she sounded so panicked and Albedo stood up, "I'm going to get the mask." he said.

Albedo jumped out of the RV and a hoverboard materialized under his feet. "What about Jen!?" "Jen will be fine!" Max snapped. I frowned and looked to Bleep, "Bleep, I need one of those overboard." Bleep disappeared into the back then returned with a black armband, like the ones I used to wear, minus the studs. "Here goes something." A deep gray screen pulled up and I saw a folder titled builds, I clicked it and saw the hoverboard.

"Whoa!!" I jumped out of the RV with the hoverboard under my feet. I flew to the Forever Knights car and Albedo was busy fighting one of the Forever Knights. I moved closer jumped in through the sunroof and landed beside Jen, "Hi," I kicked the head Forever Knight in the face knocking him out then did the same with the other.

"Jen, are you okay?" I asked looking at Jen, she had some weird shackles on, and they covered her hands. "Kevin, grab the mask, and let's go," Jen said and I nodded. I tucked the mask under my arm and climbed onto the roof, I reached down and helped Jen up. "Whoa!!?" The car suddenly sped up and me and Jen fell off, we rolled across the hot pavement. "Ugh, that hurt." I sat up and rubbed my head. "Ugh, stupid, stupid, stupid!!" I looked up at Jen, she was on her knees smashing her shackles on the ground. "Jen, calm down," I said but Jen didn't listen. "Ugh, these stupid things cancel out my tech, and I can't transform because they electrocute me!! I should have planned for something like this!!" Jen began slamming the shackles down harder and crying.

"JEN, STOP!!" I grabbed Jen and pulled her into a tight hug, pinning her and between us. Jen kept crying and her body went slack in my arms. "It's okay Jen, you don't have to be prepared for everything, you don't need to beat yourself up over this." I wiped Jen's tears away. "I'm supposed to be a genius who can solve any problem and save the day, how can I do that when I can't even be prepared for something so obvious!?" Jen cried and more tears began streaming down her face. I sighed and hugged Jen again, "Jen, I don't know what to say to make you understand what I'm getting at, but I can say that it's gonna be okay." I hugged Jen a little tighter.

Me and Jen sat there for a few minutes before Jen tugged against my hug and I let her go. Jen had a soft smile, "I needed that, ...thanks, Kevin." I nodded then looked at Jen's shackles, "Let's get this off of you and get going." Jen nodded and held her shackled hands out to me.

~~~~~~~~~

"Are we close?" I looked at Jen from my spot in the passenger seat. "Almost," I said holding the mask up to my face. "Hey, what did you call this thing again?" "Oh, it's called the Jungle Cruiser, good for tracking land and can just as easily track water." I smiled and Jen floored the gas, "WAH-HOO!!"

The Jungle cruiser your through the bushes and Jen stopped right in front of the temple the mask was guiding us to. "No one here," Jen said as we looked around, we were expecting a fight. "Let's take the upper hand while we have it," I said and put the mask on. The mask began guiding me to a secret entrance only accessible by pushing a brick. "Stay alert, Myans were known to put traps in their temples," Jen informed me, I nodded and we kept moving into the temple.

"It's too dark, I can't see!" I reached back and grabbed Jen's hand, "This thing gives me some great night vision." I said and pulled Jen along. I kept leading Jen until we reached a large set of wooden stairs with fires lit on the walls. I took the first step down and the step broke which resulted in the ceiling starting to crumble. "Watch out!!" Jen transformed into her bug alien and put me on her back, she began flying down, dodging the falling ceiling. "Left...right...back up...swerve!!" Jen eventually landed and changed back, we both groaned and held our stomachs.

"Is it possible to throw up in your stomach, because I think I just did...twice." I groaned and stood up. Me and Jen kept moving through the temple and eventually came to a room with a pedestal. "It looks like the mask." Jen pointed out. I took the mask off and put it in and the doors slowly opened and a bright light flooded out.

Jen pov

I and Kevin had to shield our eyes from the light. Once the light faded we stepped into the room and saw the sword on top of a pyramid. Me and Kevin shared a look and began climbing to the top, but we had to stop halfway. "Why is this thing so tall?" Kevin asked, "Your guess is as good as mine." I said.

I huffed then there was a growl and a big glob of slobber dropped between me and Kevin's feet. "Kevin, do you wanna turn around?" "Nope," I and Kevin shared a look then threw ourselves forward, narrowly dodging an attack. I turned and looked, "Ah Puch" I started at the giant guardian that nearly crushed us. "What do we do?" Kevin asked. I narrowed my eyes, "We pulverize him." I said and shifted into four arms, charging at Ah Puch. I heard Kevin laugh and saw him absorb the material of the ground beneath him.

"Albedo taught you something about your power?" I asked slamming Ah Puch on the ground. "He forcefully taught me, ...and by that I mean he tied me to a chair and forced me to learn," Kevin said and charged at Ah Puch repeatedly punching him in the stomach. I then threw Ah Puch down to the bottom of the pyramid, "Go get the sword, I'll stay here in case he gets up." Kevin nodded and started running to the top of the pyramid. Ah, Puch got up and started charging toward the top, I pounced on him and we tumbled back down to the bottom. Ah, Puch grabbed my scarf and began swinging me around slamming me into walls, down on the floor, and then dropped me before going after Kevin.

"No!" I pounced on Ah Puch and began beating him to the ground. The temple then began to shake and I looked up at Kevin, the sword had crumbled into nothing. I jumped up and grabbed Kevin and started running out of the temple. We were lucky enough to make it out just before the temple began to sink into the ground. I sighed and set Kevin down before collapsing and shifting back. "You okay?" Kevin asked I shook my head and shut my eyes.

I was suddenly picked up off the ground and carried. "I'll drive, you just rest." I smiled and nodded.

#ben10 #ben 10 #ben tennyson #au #female ben #gwen tennyson #kevin levin #max tennyson #ben 10 au #Albedo #ben x albedo #albedo x ben

1 note · View note

tinylilacbun · 3 years ago

Note

heyy can you do winterwidow x little reader when mommy nat go to mission and you're staying at home with daddy bucky? have a great day!!❤️

Alone With Daddy

(GIFs not mine)

Pairing: daddy!bucky x little!reader x mommy!Natasha

Warnings: Age Regression, fluffy!!!

⭒𖥸⭒

"Say 'bye bye momma'" Bucky waved at Natasha who was just about to walk on the quinjet that was standing in the yard with Clint waiting in it.

"Bye bye Mommy!" you shout and waved at her too.

Natasha smiled and blew you and Bucky a kiss before disappearing in the jet. You both watched how they took off and disappeared in the sky.

"We are all alone now doll. What do you wanna do?" Bucky asked and you smiled.

"Pway wif Daddy!" you wiggle in his arms and he let you down when he got back inside with you.

"Then go get your toys babydoll," he said and pat your bum two times, sending you off to your room.

You grabbed several different things, coloring books, puzzles, some board games, and your favorite stuffies.

You set everything on the couch table and handed Bucky your elephant stuffie.

"You get ta pway with Ellie daddy!" you grinned and sat down with your own stuffie.

You spend a long time playing together and a Bucky made you eat some sandwiches during it until you started to yawn sometimes and he noticed it was close to nap time.

"How about we cuddle and watch a movie baby?" he asked caressing your cheek and you leaned in his touch.

"No nap" you shook your head and Bucky tried to stop himself from chuckling.

"Not even when I got Mommy's milk in the fridge?" he quirks an eyebrow and your head shoots to him with sparkling eyes.

"Yes! Yes! Wan Mommy's milk!" you chanted and crawled over to him.

He picked you up and sat you down on the couch, handing you your stuffies and draping a blanket over you.

"I'm gonna be right back baby" he kissed your forehead and got to the kitchen to prepare your bottle.

"Daddy" you whine when it took him so long but you stopped when he came in with your Avengers themed bottle.

"What does my babydoll want to watch hm?" he asked while sitting down next to you while you snuggled close to his side, with your leg over him.

He grabbed the remote and scrolled through all the movies.

"What about the SpongeBob movie?" you nod and Bucky put on the movie, switching the remote with the bottle and holding it before your face.

You grabbed it with one hand while the other was holding onto his shirt and started to drink your milk.

You were just 10 minutes into the movie when your eyelids started to feel heavy but you were still trying to fight it. Bucky knows exactly what to do now, so he started patting your bum gently which soothes you all the time.

Soon you fell asleep still sucking on the already empty bottle that Bucky changed fast for your pacifier starting to close his eyes too when you got settled again.

You woke up later and didn't feel your daddy beside you which makes you frown. You rubbed your eyes and heard him talking somewhere.

You stood up with the blanket around you and waddled outside to the yard where the talking came from.

"Don't worry James. She's safe with us, I promise"

"I know, I know. Just come back soon yeah?" Bucky turned his head when he saw you coming out. "I have to go now, our babydoll woke up"

"See you both later. I love you" Natasha hung up and Bucky smiled at you, opening his arms.

You sat on his lap and placed your head on his shoulder.

"Was dat mommy?" you asked and he hummed. "Why didn you told me?"

"Because you were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you" he wrapped his arms around, rocking from side to side.

"Wan mommy..." you mumbled.

"I know baby, me too. She's coming back soon" he said and came up with an idea to light up your mood. "Do you want to help me make dinner?"

"Dunno"

"I'm making Pizza" he added with a smile and you smiled back, nodding your head. He stood up with you and carried you inside to the kitchen, placing you on the counter, the blanket tossed over a chair.

You helped Bucky everywhere you could and even were allowed to eat some of the toppings.

With the pizza being in the oven bucky looked at the time and saw there was some time until the pizza was ready.

"The pizza needs some time. What about you take a bath before?" he said and you crossed your arms.

"Only mommy knows how ta wash ma hair" you complained and he sighed.

"All right, how about we just wash your body? Mommy can wash your hair tomorrow then" he suggest and you nod, getting off the counter you rushed to the bathroom.

You were already choosing some bath toys when Bucky walked in and turned on the faucet of the bathtub, checking if it was the right temperature. He turned back to you and saw you holding the toys you picked.

"Let's get you out of your clothes" he took the toys from you and laid them in the tub. "Hands up doll"

You do as he said and he pulled your shirt up and over your head, helping you out of your pants, and pull-up next.

He took your hand and helped you step into the warm bathtub. When you began playing Bucky started to wash your body.

He used the showerhead to wash away the soap that was on your body and grabbed your toys, placing them in the little casket beside the tub.

"You smell that baby?" he asked and you sniffed. "That's our pizza that's almost ready"

You squealed and clapped your hands excitedly. Bucky picked you out of the tub and made you stand in front of him.

He grabbed a towel and started to dry your body, then wrapped you in it and picked you back up, carrying you to your room and sitting you down on the changing table.

"Which jammies do you want to wear? You can have the ladybug ones or your space ones" he held each of them up.

"Mmm...ma ladybug jammies pwease" you pointed at the red ones, smiling brightly.

He put them next to you and brought the other ones back into your closet. He walked back to you and grabbed a fresh pull-up, sliding them up your legs, then got you in your jammies.

He picked you up once again and made his way to the kitchen where he sat you down on your chair.

Taking the pizza out of the oven he put three pieces on your Disney-themed plate, placing it before you before sitting down himself with some pieces.

"Fank you Daddy," you said and started munching on your delicious self-made pizza.

"When we're done with eating we can watch a movie in mine and Mommy's bed together," Bucky said and you nod eagerly.

"Can I sweep in your bed today?" you asked with big eyes and he chuckled.

"Yes, babydoll, but only for today," he said and continued to eat.

When you were done you slumped against the chair with a huff. Bucky rubbed over your tummy, making you squirm a little.

"M so full Daddy" you sighed and he smiled at you. "Can't move anymore"

"Seems as if daddy has to carry you again hm?" he asked putting both your plates in the sink.

"Mhm!" you nod, holding your arms out for him.

"Silly baby" he rolled his eyes playfully and picked you up, looking behind him if there's anything to clean up. "Let's go and cuddle baby"

"Cuddle time! Cuddle time!" you cheered and Bucky let you fall on the bed, making you bounce up and down a little.

He changed himself into some shorts and a simple grey shirt before joining you on the bed and started to snore, pretending to sleep.

"Daddy I know you don seep. You still smilin!" you squealed when he started tickling your sides. "Daddy! S-Stop!"

"I can't help it, baby. You're just so adorable when you laugh" he said pecking your lips.

"Can we watch Toy Story? Is mama's favorite!" you said her blanket up to your nose smelling on it.

"Of course, we can babydoll. You all comfortable?" you nod and Bucky started the movie then pulled you closer to him, making you the little spoon.

"I wove you daddy" you mumbled and felt him kiss your head.

"I love you more"

When Natasha came back home everything was dark and quiet, the only thing to hear was the TV in her bedroom where the end credits of Toy Story were rolling.

She kicked off her shoes and tip-toed to her bedroom, smiling brightly when she saw you and Bucky cuddled up and sleeping peacefully.

She took off her suit and just put on fresh panties and a tank top, sliding under the covers next to you.

She turned off the TV and grabbed your paci that was on her nightstand, pulling your thumb out of your mouth and replacing it with the purple paci.

By all the movement Bucky woke up and lifted his head to see Natasha smiling down at you.

"Welcome home, my love" he whispered and she leaned over to give him a quick kiss. "Are you hurt or something?"

"No, don't worry. I'm fine, just tired. Did everything go well?" she asked her finger slightly brushing against your cheek.

"Yes, she was an angel, like always" he smiled closing his eyes again. "Good night, love"

"Good night" she whispers and finally laid down after kissing your forehead.

⭒𖥸⭒

Taglist

@marvelsguantletkeeper @my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @st3rgirl @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @mayaskingdom @lokigirlszendaya

Anything Bucky related:

@almostcontentcreator

1K notes · View notes

biffhofosho · 2 years ago

Text

Prisoner to Temptation | Chapter Three

Word Count: 11.6k

A/N: Ugh, you guys, I’m in love. Does it show?

Cvr | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12

Laughter boomed through the royal family’s wing of the palace as the two sisters chased after one another without the slightest respect for adulthood or decorum.

“One more round!” Saran begged.

“You little fox, aren't you tired yet?” asked the crown princess.

“Never!”

“Then could you please take pity on your poor old spinster sister?”

Saran rolled her eyes. “A spinster you are not, but old is a different story.”

“Brat,” Naran said and stuck her tongue out. “Fine. One more round so that I can have the pleasure of crushing you again.”

Saran giggled and took off in an instant, her slippered feet padding across the stone floors as she disappeared from view. Naran waited for a moment before she bellowed, “You're mine now!”

But her sister had hidden much better this time—or maybe it was just that the crown princess really was getting tired. The stress of her impending upheaval had seen Naran spending every waking second of these last two weeks exploring every last corner of her home that she could before she left it. With that, she had also spent more time with her sister than she might have in her whole life, which had depressed her more than it should have. She felt like a failure of a sister, that it took abandoning Saran to remind her just how important the girl was to her.

“Damn you, Sarangerel! Where are you cowering?” Naran grumbled as she prowled down yet another empty corridor.

“Hello, my lady,” came the deep timbre of a voice that was growing all too familiar already.

Naran whirled around, red-faced and furrow-browed to find Prince Hyungwon standing behind her in the hallway with a curious smile on his face. She bowed quickly and said, “I'm sorry, your highness. Did we disturb you?”

“Not at all. I came to see if I could help.”

The princess blinked. “Help?”

“You're playing hide and seek, are you not?”

Surprised, and more than a little embarrassed, all the princess could do was nod.

“I used to be quite good at this,” the prince added. “Of course, I was usually hiding from my tutors, and they did not know they were playing a game to begin with.”

“You must think us very childish, two grown ladies of Court.”

He shook his head. “Anything but. I’d rather be doing this any day then what I must do.”

“Very well, if you insist, I will bring you down to my level, my lord, but know that I am only seconds away from finding—” Naran cupped her hands around her lips and shouted, “—that mischievous imp!”

Hyungwon chuckled and joined her side, and together, the couple searched what was left of the wing until they reached the crown princess’s bedchamber. The prince followed Naran in but stopped just over the threshold.

“Ah—oh… Is it okay that I’m in here?” he wondered.

The princess laughed thinly. “That’s a rather funny thing for a fiancé to say.”

“I suppose I’m a bit conservative,” he admitted.

“I’ve heard many things about you, my lord. Conservative is not one of them.”

His face flushed a little as he amended, “Perhaps just conservative about some things then.”

Naran scoffed and then started her search in the back corner. “If you’re ‘too conservative’ to help, the least you can do is guard the door so that little fox doesn’t scamper out when my back’s turned.”

Hyungwon agreed, and, as he blocked the doorway, he observed the princess. While her room was neither overly large nor ornately furnished, it was cozy with lots of piles and nooks and furniture in which a slight girl like her sister could hunker down. Naran rifled through piles of furs and behind tapestries, all the while singing Moghul children’s songs in hopes she might flush out Saran.

“You're so different here, my lady,” said the prince with a gentle grin. “So lively and bright.”

“I'm home,” Naran said simply. His grin fell away with her implication that he might not see this side of her again, and, for some reason, she took a little pity on him and folded him into her teasing. “If it’s not too much trouble for Saran’s conservative brother, could you check the wardrobe there? Don’t worry, my good sir, you won’t have to step but even two paces into my room.”

Hyungwon nodded reluctantly as the princess stooped to check the hidey-hole under her dresser Saran used to hide in when she was younger.

“Oh… ah!” came a quickly-tempered yelp before the prince snapped the wardrobe closed again and turned around, shaking his head. “It’s empty.”

Naran scowled. “Tiny devil, where are you hiding?”

“Perhaps we could search another wing?”

At the high pitch lifting the end of his question, the princess turned her full attention to her fiancé. With her hands on her hips and her narrow eyes assessing his shifty height from head to toe, Naran said, “Are you standing in honey, your grace?”

Hyungwon looked to his feet. “N-no?”

“You have not moved from your spot since we entered, yet now you block my wardrobe.”

“I do not feel comfortable searching your room, as I said, let alone your clothing,” he offered.

It might have been believable if he weren’t scratching his neck and zig-zagging his eyes about the room. Naran took a step closer and he stiffened. His back grew even broader and the tendons in his neck tightened with his jaw. They were toe to toe when the prince fumbled behind him for the door handle and yanked it up.

With a playful bellow, Hyungwon shouted, “Run!”

Saran’s wiry form darted out from the shadows with the speed and agility of a bat while her giggles rang in the rafters.

“Traitor!” Naran wailed as she took off after her sister, their squealing reverberating back down the hallway where they’d left the prince aghast but smiling.

They wheeled around a corner, entering the second half of the royal family’s wing on their way toward their parents’ rooms. If Saran beat her to their mother’s bed, victory was hers.

Saran was faster, but Naran was taller, and she was gaining. Worse yet for the little princess, the runners in the hall had just been cleaned ahead of Goryeo’s arrival, and the corners on the rugs were still curled up from their beating. Saran’s toe caught, and she lost her balance.

“I’ve got you now,” proclaimed the crown princess a mere beat before Saran tumbled into someone’s torso.

The princesses waited, breathless and sweaty, as a middle-aged woman with a face forever scored by many smiles and just as many worried brows chose a glower to deepen the latter set of wrinkles.

“You’re still playing these games, Your Highnesses?” she admonished. “Honestly, Princess Narangerel, what would the Prince say if he could see you act in such a—”

“Sister, did you win?” came the shout just as Prince Hyungwon skidded around the corner, too. He was even more breathless and just as sweaty as the princesses and, when he saw their stern company, far more mortified. He bowed shockingly deeply as he bumbled out, “My apologies, Magda.”

The woman did her best to bow even deeper, though her joints clicked loudly and Saran giggled. When Magda stood back up, she apologized to the prince before shooting the full might of her glare at the young princess. Magda’s round face had begun to sag a little at the jowls, and the years in the fierce steppe sunshine had colored her a warm toffee tan, which only made her glower that much more intimidating.

“Not at all, Your Highness. I was just sent for you as it were. Princess Sarangerel, why don’t you take Prince Hyungwon to the dining room? Cook has prepared lunch, and I’m sure the Prince’s family is looking for him.”

The young princess bowed to Magda and then sneered at Naran, which her sister returned.

“I got you,” the crown princess sing-songed cockily as Saran slinked away with a swish of her deel.

“I tried,” the prince whispered, and Saran rubbed his arm.

“Best brother ever,” she assured. “And I almost won for a change. It’s all for the best. I’m starving anyway, come on.”

Saran and Hyungwon disappeared, leaving Naran with her executioner. The silence and the hollowness loomed.

“You both are far too old for childhood games,” the attendant observed with a huff.

“Oh, let us play, Magda. Everything ends soon enough.”

The older woman let out a slow breath. “Very well. After all, tomorrow will be here before you know it.”

“What!”

Naran’s outrage shook the corridor but not nearly so hard as it shook her. Her hands trembled. Her lip quivered. Her eyes leaked.

Magda took the princess’s hands quickly and squeezed with all her might. “Don’t cry, my dear lady! Once I saw the Prince here, I assumed you had heard. The news just came down from the Emperor. He would like to leave at first light for Goryeo.”

Naran wrenched her hands free and slumped against the wall until she was in a crouch at the corner of the floor. Terror embossed every bit of her face.

“Magda, I can’t.”

“You can and you will, but you shall not do it alone,” the older woman promised. She cupped the princess’s cheek with her calloused hand and smiled reassuringly. “I shall be with you, remember?”

Still, Naran’s head slumped. “I thought I had more time…”

“My Lady, it’s been two weeks here.”

“Seems like a day.”

Magda nodded. “I understand, truly, but very soon, you will have all new adventures to look forward to.”

“I don’t want them,” the princess said bitterly.

“You say that now, but were you not just smiling in the presence of the Prince? It looked to me as though you were having fun.”

“I was having fun with my sister, not my jailer.”

A fresh cross look pasted itself on Magda’s face. “My Lady, there’s no need to be so dramatic. I have watched the Prince with eagle eyes all week and have found nothing to label him as anything other than the picture of a gentleman.”

“Yes, well, you weren’t there for his ‘proposal.’ I had very little say in the matter,” grumbled Naran.

“You couldn’t have said no?” Magda probed. “You said no to Prince Grigoriy against your grandfather’s wishes.”

“That was different. He wasn’t set to invade Moghulikhan. So, I mean, I could have said no, but you know very well I couldn’t have. I couldn’t have.”

The attendant watched her princess carefully. “And what if one of the other royals, say, one far less agreeable, had proposed the same way? Would you have said yes to him?”

“I mean—” Naran suspected there was an underlying point to Magda’s question, and she didn’t appreciate it. She pulled up as tall as she could so she could glare down her nose at her old friend with as much confidence as she could feign and answered, “I should think I would have had to.”

Magda bowed lightly, and when she came back up, her lips were pursed. “As her Ladyship says. Either way, you know I shall always be by your side.”

The woman gestured back down the hall from whence the princess had just come, and Naran trudged alongside her, all the levity of five minutes ago having been sucked out of the room as if by a vortex.

“We are going into the serpents’ den, Magda,” lamented the princess. “I will need you to befriend everyone you can there and keep me apprised of anything you might hear.”

“Of course, Your Highness.”

“It shouldn’t be hard for you. Everyone respects you,” Naran added, but the lines in Magda’s face looked much deeper today, perhaps from all the scowling. “I’m sorry I’m asking you to leave the only place you’ve ever known for the unknown. It’s rather selfish of me, isn’t it? Perhaps I’m not better than the prince…”

“Not at all, My Lady. I would never let you go without me, even if I should have had to stowaway under the carriage.”

Naran smiled as much on her lips as in her heart. Soon enough though, the whimsical image of her long-time compatriot hanging between wagon wheels faded for a nebulous horizon. The princess sighed. “It shall be so hard to leave our homeland.”

There was the brush of weathered fingers along the princess’s own before they vanished. “The only thing harder would be to leave you, Your Highness.”

Naran sniffed and wiped the corner of her eye as she griped, “Flatterer.”

“Besides, who would I have to chastise with you gone? Princess Sarangerel is an agreeable angel without your influence.”

“I take that back,” the princess laughed. “You’re a traitor, too. Where are we going anyway? This is the longest way to the dining hall.”

“Queen Jigme wishes to speak with you.”

Naran tipped her head back to let out a full groan. “Of course. Wolves always come during rain.”

“Oh, stop. Her way may not be your way, but in the King’s illness, Queen Jigme has ruled with fairness and quick decision—”

“Emphasis on the ‘quick’.”

Magda tutted. “I look forward to your reign then, young princess. Let us see how you lead.”

With dread, Naran thought.

Together, the pair returned to the crown princess’s room where her mother coordinated with three servants in a symphony of organized chaos. Despite all the moving bodies in the small space, her room felt as empty as the steppe sky.

Naran’s eyes went wide. “What’s going on in here?”

“What do you mean, dearest?” said the queen. “We’re packing for your new home.”

“I’ve been out of this room for not even ten minutes, and it’s barren!”

“My sun, we are Moghul after all. No one knows how to pack quickly better than we do.”

It was a fair point, and yet, Naran couldn’t believe the speed with which her life was being dismantled.

“I could have packed myself. It’s not like I'll be sleeping tonight anyway...” she argued.

“If I left it to you, Naran, nothing would be packed until you’d held up the train for at least five hours—or five days.”

The princess huffed. “And what of your things?”

“Please,” scoffed the queen. “I packed months’ worth of provisions as soon as we returned to Urga.”

Of course she had. Naran felt like her legs were going to give way underneath her, but beside her, Magda steadied her with a hand on her forearm.

“You’re so eager to get rid of me…” said the princess softly.

At this, the queen dropped the hard-hearted overseer act and crossed the threshold to take her daughter by the hand. “My sun, nothing could be further from the truth. I have many faults, but you can never say that I do not love you with my whole heart. Would that I could keep you by my side forever, but this is as the Fates have decided it. Who am I to refute that?”

“Mother, it isn’t fate but a barter. Is it fate when Cook gets a sack of rice in exchange for a haunch of mutton?”

The queen gathered her daughter’s cheeks in her hands and smiled softly at her. “One day you will understand because one day you will have to part with your children, too. There is nothing in this lifetime that is harder. Maybe this experience will prepare you for that one, so that you can bear having your heart ripped out of your chest.”

Naran watched the water tremble at her mother’s lash line, and the two women wrapped each other in a rare hug.

“It will be all right,” Jigme assured as she stroked the back of her daughter’s head.

“I’m not ready to part with you!” the princess said through sniffles.

“I shall never be ready either, which is exactly why we must endure. Life changes, and we must change with it. Sometimes it is painful, and sometimes it is beautiful. Today, it is both.”

“Why did you have to raise me to be so independent?” Naran lamented.

“If we had not, you would not be equal to the task ahead of you.”

“And yet now I know everything I will never have again.”

At this, Jigme released her daughter but held her shoulders as she met her eyes. “How do you know that you will not? The prince has made you a promise, hasn’t he? You will be safe, we will be safe, and you can still have some measure of freedom as you’ve had here. Has he given you reason to doubt him?”

Naran rolled her eyes. “He coerced my acceptance of his proposal!”

“As did I,” the queen admitted, “but that doesn't mean that all is lost. Contrary to what you believe, you hold power here, Naran. Women do not have to wield iron to be the strongest in the room. Remember what I told you at the ball: be the right hands. Do not force but guide. There is goodness in your prince. He will follow you.”

The princess mopped her wet cheeks with the back of her hands. “I think you overestimate him, Mother.”

“And I think you are going to great lengths to avoid thinking about him at all.”

“So?”

The queen stared down at her daughter, not glowering or reprimanding but perceiving in a way that made Naran deeply uncomfortable. “You know, despite my many years of trying to teach you the Moghul way of speaking softly, I heard you carrying on like a banshee just a bit ago. It sounded as though you were having quite a bit of fun.”

“Oh, not you, too, Mother! For pity’s sake, I didn’t invite the prince to join Saran and me—he, like usual, invited himself. And, of course, Saran indulges him terribly. If she were just a few years older, you could have married her off happily to Prince Hyungwon without the need to hypnotize me into believing him a worthy partner.”

“Naran?”

“Yes, Mother?”

“Hush.”

The princess wrinkled her nose and collapsed onto her mattress as the last of her wardrobe was stowed in a trunk and carted out with damn near everything else in the room that made it personal, leaving just her mother and Magda, who still lingered in the threshold.

After a moment, Jigme joined her daughter on the bed and patted the top of her thigh. “I do at least have a bit of good news for you, my sun. In addition to our finest gers, I am gifting you our fastest carriage for your ride to Goryeo, so you will not need to ride with the emperor and empress. It is such a long journey, and I know even I would not be able to share a carriage with my in-laws for so many weeks. After all,” she said with a smile, “we want to ensure they see you in a good light.”

Having a carriage of her own was certainly a relief, especially after the ride from Sygnak, so Naran smiled and thanked her mother sincerely.

“And,” continued the queen, “do not trouble yourself, my love. We will be at your wedding to support you.”

At this, Naran sat up at lightning speed. “You will?”

“Yes, all of us, even your father. We would not miss it.”

“But his health—” the princess objected.

“It’s precarious, which is why we have no plans to hold back the caravan with our slow travels. We shall follow behind in a few days,” the queen promised with a kiss to her daughter's cheek.

“Wait. You’re not leaving with us then?”

“We cannot afford to hold you back from wedding planning.”

Naran’s eyes narrowed and her voice dropped perilously low. “With whom, exactly, am I intended to share this carriage then?”

Jigme glowered at her daughter, her answer crystal clear.

“Aren't you worried about us being unchaperoned?”

“Your fair prince could always choose to ride with his parents, but I get a feeling with such beauty to entertain on the long trip, he may elect to ride elsewhere. And anyway, my darling, on that front, I will never have to worry about you, but rest assured that you will, of course, have Magda for company.”

At least then Naran could take comfort in outnumbering her fiancé while also having someone with whom she actually wanted to speak.

Her relief was short-lived, however, when she remembered a loose end she’d been intending to put off until the very last moment, and now that moment was upon her. With a heavy sigh and a heavier heart, Naran stared through the wall toward the looming mountains.

“I will need to set Altantsetseg free…” she said and swallowed hard to keep her voice from breaking.

The queen nodded, squeezing her daughter’s knee this time. “You should do it as soon as possible then, my love. Would you like someone to ride with you?”

Naran shook her head. “This I must do alone.”

“You don’t have much time before sunset.”

The princess rose on shaky legs and agreed numbly as she left the room and headed for the falconry. It would have been much better to have an entire day for the trip like Naran had planned, but she had put it off in the vain hope that this whole sordid ordeal would somehow come undone to her favor. Now, the ceremony would be short and her grief would be all too fresh.

Altantsetseg waited blindfolded on his roost, but the eagle seemed to sense her the moment she entered the room. Over the last couple weeks, the princess had ridden out with her bird nearly every day, even the same day she’d found out from the falconer Hyungwon had been by to meet her eagle after all. Still, it seemed that everything was happening all too quickly—or perhaps it was just that it was quick to her.

Naran saddled up her favorite horse and prepped Altantsetseg to ride, not that the eagle needed much preparation after all their years together. The pair took off for a piney crown of the farthest of the mountains surrounding Urga. It wasn’t as far as Naran would like, but that was her punishment for procrastination, so her hope was that it was far enough to dissuade the bird from returning to the palace. Her eagle perched on the leather cuff on her arm, beak high and feathers ruffling as it anticipated taking to the sky, only this time it would not have to return to Naran.

The air was fresh and the sun was fierce, and riding up the grassy slope had never felt so good. For a moment, it felt like if she just kept riding, she could ride right into the sky. But eventually, a perfect outcropping appeared, and Naran guided her horse to it. The click-clack of hooves on stone thundered in the silent pine canopy, and Altantsetseg hopped eagerly on her arm.

The princess spared several minutes to stroke her eagle’s crown and delight in the gloss of its feathers beneath her fingertips. She cooed to the bird, words of admiration and praise, a torrent of all the love she harbored for a creature who meant more to her than all her royal trappings. She took off the leather cap over the eagle’s eyes, and Altantsetseg came alive at once.

One of its great amber eyes mapped Naran’s face. It was always alert and eager, so maybe the princess was projecting, but she swore she saw understanding in its gaze. The great bird of prey was ready.

Naran untethered the ties around its legs, and with the last of its anchors undone, the princess raised her arm sharply and let the eagle soar. Altantsetseg flung her great wings wide to catch the wind and took off without a look back. The princess did not call her back nor did she linger for so much as a second longer—she couldn’t risk it for her feathered friend nor her own heart.

Instead, she drove her horse at full-speed back down the mountain and toward the palace without stopping. Tears sprung to her eyes only to be cast into the cheek-reddening wind. Naran did not look back.

At the palace, she passed on the dinner that the cook had reserved for her as well as the sympathy everyone, even Saran, tried to heap on her and headed straight for her barren room, where she closed the door and cried until morning.

The next thing Naran knew, she was on the road bound for Goryeo. She didn’t remember saying goodbye to her family. She didn’t remember leaving the palace. She didn’t remember the first two days of travel. Though she shared her carriage with the prince as well as Magda, they had both left her to her grief. If Naran had spoken at all for those two days, she had no memory of it. Dinners with the in-laws must have been bleak affairs—no doubt that moniker of “taciturn and surly” had been cemented for good.

It was on the third day, as the mountains humbled and lost their sparse tree hoods in favor of seamless grass caps, that the princess awakened abruptly. The cabin was silent per usual, when she blurted, “Why couldn’t we have gotten married in Moghulikhan first? We were always going to end up in Goryeo.”

The carriage shook as both the prince and the attendant startled, too. After the shock of her voice had passed, Hyungwon, to his credit, commiserated. “The thought had crossed my mind as it only seemed fair, but when I asked my father if we could hold a ceremony here, he was adamant we are to be married on Goryeon land.”

“Oh,” said the princess, just as shocked, “you already asked him?”

“Mm. The first week we were in Urga, but unfortunately, I was shot down immediately.”

Naran fell sullen again. She should have been appreciative of the consideration, but with the passing of grief came more resentment. Her keen hunter eyes fell to a herd of gazelle far in the distance, and she thought of her eagle and how, together, they would have pursued it. With a low grumble, she said, “Terrific. Here I am, giving up everything. I don’t see why I can’t get the smallest something out of it.”

But it was far too quiet in the cabin for her complaint to go unnoticed, and Hyungwon prickled at once since the first conversation he had in days was soaked in disdain. “You’re getting the safety of your homeland out of it, Princess, or is that nothing to you?”

Magda tensed, her eyes already on the incoming storm cloud gathering beside her on the velvet seat.

“How long do you plan to lord that over my head?” snapped Naran.

“That’s not what I’m trying to do.”

“So I am to be grateful that I had the chance to sell my soul for Moghulikhan’s sovereignty? Why, thank you, Prince Hyungwon. How magnanimous of you.”

He tipped back his head and let out a groan. “If you’d prefer to resume silence for the rest of this ride, you know, that would suit me just as well.”

“Silence it is then,” Naran agreed.

Magda looked wide-eyed to her lady, but Naran dismissed her friend’s motherly warning with a firm shake of her head and turned to stare angrily out the window.

For a while, it worked. The princess was happy to wallow, and the prince was happy to brood. They were so busy being furious with one another, that the time passed quickly, yet, together, their angst converged in the carriage, and before long, a typhoon of emotion had balled up between them, leaving poor Magda as fodder for the storm.

Naran relived their argument over and over in her mind, adding quips and retorts she’d wished she’d thought of at the time just to watch the man squirm. The more she thought about it, the more she hoped he’d dare to open his mouth just so she could get another chance. Once, Hyungwon had cleared his throat, and in anticipation of a new battle, her head snapped around so fast, she pulled a muscle. In the end, the prince didn’t say anything, and the pain in her neck made it harder for her to focus on her anger.

Meanwhile, the views outside the carriage had grown monotonous. The grasslands seemed stationary though the caravan continued to trundle along. The mountains had whittled down to hills now, all exactly the same as one another. There were no rivers or trees or even bushes, but an ocean of sage green without end. It was as though the world beyond had stopped, and the only reality left was the stuffy, awkward one in the cabin.

With that thought came the creeping reminder of the pair of opposing knees mere inches from hers. Naran wasn’t sure why she was so keenly aware of it now as it had been days of exactly the same, but as the roads had segued into nothing but shallow wagon tracks, the ride grew bumpier, and occasionally, their knees touched, which always sent both of them bolting to opposing sides of the carriage. And yet, somehow, it kept happening to the princess alone and not her attendant. His accursed legs were too damn long, the princess thought bitterly.

Naran wrinkled her nose and squinted harder through the window, but instead of grass now, she saw the warbling face of her betrothed. He was looking at her, too, and she fought to stifle her little gasp before it escaped.

“Sorry,” he mumbled and squinted back through his own window, though the late morning sun was beaming relentlessly in that direction. He rubbed his eye with the back of his hand and cleared his throat. “How—Um, how do you feel about a south-facing room, Princess?”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk,” Naran said.

Hyungwon shrugged his great big shoulders, and the carriage lurched. While they had no doubt hit some divot on the road, she couldn’t help but think his ridiculous wingspan was responsible.

“The carriage is small,” he said, “and it feels a little uncomfortable after all this time, doesn’t it?”

“No,” the princess lied.

“Perhaps it is for your lady though.” The prince raised an eyebrow and glanced at Magda, who looked back at the man with such appreciation that Naran felt a surge of betrayal.

The princess scoffed. “You two chat then.”

“As you wish. Miss Magda, my sincerest apologies. I know we have spent days together now, but with all the upheaval and a bit of my own self-involvement, I believe I have been remiss in ever making a proper introduction to you. I am Hyungwon of Goryeo, and I am very happy you could join us for this trip.” The prince shifted down his seat to sit more directly across from the older woman before he dipped forward in a polite bow that had the servant across from him chastely fanning her face with her hand.

“Your Highness,” Magda said, her voice quaking at both his proximity and his informality, “the pleasure is all mine. It is my greatest joy to be of service to you and My Lady.”

Hyungwon smiled broadly, which sent Magda’s hand fluttering at double speed.

“As if she had a choice,” groused Naran.

“I thought you weren’t speaking,” said the prince casually though he did not shift his gaze nor his smile from Magda.

The princess huffed and returned to her secret spyglass in the window reflection.

“It must be very hard for you to leave your life in Moghulikhan,” Hyungwon continued to Magda, “especially on such short notice.”

“It isn’t easy,” the woman agreed, “but most of us Moghuls spend our lives on the move anyway. I have been blessed to live in both worlds, so it isn’t a burden as long as I am with My Lady, even when she’s being stubborn.”

Naran nudged Magda with her elbow, though the older woman sat unfazed by anything that wasn’t the prince’s full attention.

Lips pressed together and eyes gentle and wide, Hyungwon studied the attendant. “You are very loyal, Magda. Princess Narangerel is lucky to have you.”

“If I may be so presumptuous, Your Highness, we are lucky to have her. And since she is not in the mood to refute it, I will tell you a secret, My Lord.”

Hyungwon leaned onto his knees as did Magda. Naran watched in the window with narrowed eyes. She was pretty sure the cabin temperature rose a dozen degrees even without the aid of the sun.

Magda lowered her voice to a whisper, though there was no way of missing it in such a small space. “Much of this is for show. Once she’s satisfied she’s made her point, the Princess will reopen negotiations.”

The prince let out a soft chuckle and then kept his voice low, too, as he said, “Negotiations, huh? For what?”

“A treaty, of course. My Lady may be strong-willed, but she is no fool. Years of bargaining with the King and Queen has taught her how to make the best of every situation.”

Hyungwon’s eyes met Naran’s in the glass again until the princess jerked her head away.

“Hm,” he mused. “She did say as much to me.”

“Did she now?” Magda said with a clear smile in her voice. “You’ll do well to remember it then, Your Highness. Let her come to you, for she will, and before too much longer, I would wager. I can see she’s getting restless. She always does.”

The prince bowed lightly to the attendant, a grateful smile playing on his lips. He dropped the whispering act and said, “I envy the two of you. If I should have had someone so fearless and open with me, I think my life would have been very different.”

At this, Magda flushed. “No doubt I have overstepped about a dozen boundaries just now. Sometimes I forget where I am and with whom. Perhaps I have been as indulged as a servant as a royal is. Please forgive me, Your Grace. I only want the best for everyone.”

But Hyungwon waved her off. “There is no doubt of that, Miss Magda. You can’t imagine how much I value someone like you.”

Naran pursed her lips. It almost sounded like the prince was flirting, a notion made all the more plausible by the fact that even though Magda was almost double Naran’s age and well-weathered, she was still a hardy woman made more attractive by her welcoming eyes. The princess made a mental note to stipulate that Magda was off the list of servants with whom Hyungwon might be inclined to dally.

Not long after, the caravan pulled over for lunch, and no sooner had Naran finished her meal than her attendant had asked for a walk to stretch their legs. Foreboding pressed down into the princess’s shoulders, but she knew she had no choice but to go lest the other woman spill more secrets to the prince.

As the ladies took a turn around a grassy knoll a ways down from the picnic, Magda blurted at last, “My Lady, we still have weeks of travel, and though I am trained to hold my tongue, I will not hold it that long.”

“Hold your— A little late for that!”

Magda glowered at the princess. “Oh, that was nothing. I was merely trying to smooth things over with the Prince on your behalf. I fear I know more about your husband than you do at this point.”

“He's not my husband yet,” Naran objected.

“But he will be. Soon, he will also be father to your children, so perhaps you might like to know his favorite color or poet?”

“Why? He didn’t ask me any of that before he strong-armed an engagement from me.”

“Whatever the reason, My Lady, it is done, so you’d best get this indignance out of your system before you harden the soft spot the man clearly has for you.”

Naran gaped at her attendant. “You are seeing things as you age, Magda.”

“Seeing things more clearly,” the woman corrected. “If Prince Hyungwon wasn’t endeared to you for some reason, do you honestly think he would have hitched his wagon to you when his kingdom could have had ours either way? Honestly, child, some days…”

To anyone overhearing this conversation, they might have demanded Magda’s back for insubordination, but Naran had come to expect such honesty from her closest confidante. When the woman spoke this frankly, it was always of the utmost seriousness.

Naran stuffed her arms across her chest and pouted her lips as she leaned against the knoll. “You may tell the man that if he wishes to parlay, he must do it now before I change my mind.”

Magda exhaled with a gust of relief and went at once back to the party. Not a minute later, he strolled through the knee-high grasses toward her, so dashing that it chafed. Naran had to keep her eyes out across the vast steppe.

“My lady requested me?”

Why did he have to say it like that?

“I’ve been wondering something, sire,” Naran said evenly. “At the ball, why did you make me an offer?”

Hyungwon tensed. “I… thought you wanted me to. You came over to me so abruptly after all.”

At last, her eyes snapped to him. “I told you very clearly that was all for show.”

“Yes, but then you said the very opposite a second later. It was very hard to make out your true intentions.”

“And what of your intentions, my lord, hm? You, who would not entertain another lady with any seriousness all night, why did you make me your mark or was I always so and the invasion was merely a ruse to ensure my hand?”

For the first time, Naran found an angry furrow in the man’s brow. “Do you really think so little of me? It is never my intention to hurt anyone, least of all a lady.”

Naran’s irritation tempered as though it had been doused with ice water, and she realized anger had been the only thing keeping his low, gruff voice from penetrating her mind in a way that lingered.

“Forgive me, your highness,” she said though it was more of a reluctant grumble. “I’m still trying to make sense of how my life was overturned so quickly.”

Evidently appeased, Hyungwon nodded. “I swear to you that I never intended to do so, Princess. You were just so frantic and bewildering that night, and I was— I was struck… by your candor. I was already heavy with the knowledge of my father’s intentions, and— and— I don’t know. You were so real to me. I wanted to protect you.”

Naran ignored the way her mouth went dry at his words and managed, “Not every woman is a damsel in distress, your highness.”

“No, I know that. What I’m trying to say is—”

Something struck her then, a thought that had never occurred to her before. Her eyes watched the golden toes of her shoes as the fine threads splintered the sun, and she asked, “If I hadn't come to you that night, would you have told us of your father's plans?”

A long beat passed.

“What?”

“If I had already been engaged or you had, would you have warned Moghulikhan of your father’s plans?”

The prince was silent again for a long moment. “I wanted to. I had planned on it, I swear it.”

“But would you have?”

Naran realized her body was leaning toward him as she waited for his answer.

“In truth, I do not know.”

Suddenly, her limbs felt heavy, like her bones had been traded for iron and only her mind could convince her body to stay upright. Naran reasoned that she should have been angry, but she wasn’t, though she couldn’t pinpoint the exact thing she was feeling.

But Hyungwon did not back down. Instead, he faced her with the full breadth of his handsome face. “Would you have?”

“Would I?”

“If our roles had been reversed, if it had been you who knew your country was planning to invade mine, would you have sought me out?”

The question itched as much as the grass did through her skirt.

“I don’t know either,” Naran replied, but they both heard her toothless tone.

“Perhaps I think too much of myself,” he said, “but I feel I know you a bit by this point, my lady. All you have ever wanted is to keep to your own business. Can you really blame me if I am unsure?”

“I cannot.”

Her admission startled them both, and the corner of Hyungwon’s mouth twitched. “Perhaps we have some common ground after all. Maybe in time, you won’t have to feel as miserable as you look.”

“I’m not trying to be, but I am. We have moved faster through my country than I ever thought possible, and my heart is aching in my chest. I know these roads. I see the ghosts of the strange mountains on the horizon. We will be out of Moghulikhan in no time.”

Prince Hyungwon drew up in front of her looking taller than any mountain Naran had ever seen. The wind ruffled his black bangs but could not steal his attention from her. “What would make you happy right now, Princess?”

“Besides the obvious?” she said, ignoring the stutter in her voice. “I should like to ride. A Moghul without a horse is like a bird without wings. Being cooped up in a carriage feels like having my soul slowly strangled. But your father would never allow it.”

At this, the prince smirked. “It would be hard for him to tell if you ride at the back then.”

Naran shot forward, nearly into his arms when she didn’t realize how closely they were standing. “You're serious?”

“I told you when we made our arrangement that I would respect your independence.”

“I know. I just didn't expect you to mean it. Now that you have secured the alliance, I figured it would cease to matter.”

Hyungwon’s lips pressed together, another flutter of something across his brow, though this time it was not anger. “It still matters. Can you ride well enough to keep up with the caravan?”

“I can ride well enough to overtake it and all your men in it, my lord, but for the freedom to ride at all, I shall stay by your side.”

He smiled and she echoed it, but before they could return to the picnic with their secret pact, Magda manifested as though from mid-air. Naran expected the woman to be pleased since the prince and princess were speaking again, but instead, she looked uneasy.

"Pardon my insolence, Your Highness, but it is not a good idea. If you give My Lady a blade of grass, she’ll have the whole steppe.”

Naran gaped at her friend, but Hyungwon remained unswerving. “I made a deal, and I will honor it. The princess shall ride as often as she likes. Besides, how ever am I to win my bet if she never has the opportunity to lose?”

“Bet?” both ladies said in unison.

Hyungwon nodded. “Of course. The lady makes some very lofty claims that she can ride better than my best men. I must defend their honor for it is my own, isn’t it?”

Magda and Naran exchanged looks of barely-contained hysterics before nodding.

The prince pouted his lips in a way that was unfairly cute, and Naran’s laughter died away. “My bride laughs at my pride. I am wounded.”

“I think you will live, my lord,” Naran assured.

“So, how can we test such a proclamation?”

At this, the princess sparked to life. “A race!”

“Seems too simple,” Hyungwon challenged. “Riding is more than speed.”

“Much more,” she agreed, “which is why we shall add a test of dexterity and accuracy to it.”

“We will need stakes, of course.”

“Of course. When I win, I want to choose a horse from your lot for my own particular use, and I want unrestricted access to him. No one else may ride him. What say you, my lord?”

“As you wish. And if my men win, I want you to call me Hyungwon from now on just as I will call you Naran. No more formalities.”

A tremor ripped through the princess. She knew she would win, so that wasn’t what unnerved her. It was his wager. It was simple, sincere… and intimate.

Another tremor.

“You’re not racing?” the princess asked.

“God, no. I’m a dreadful rider. My men will defend what little honor I have left.”

In spite of herself, Naran smiled. “Very well. I accept.”

“And the test of dexterity?” Hyungwon added, though, caught up in their exchange of smiles, it was most definitely an afterthought for the both of them.

“Of your choosing, your grace. I would only pick to my favor.”

The prince mused for a minute before he raised an eyebrow. “How about a game of kai bai bo? If I win, the test shall be archery. If you win, it shall be—”

“A coin hunt!” she suggested.

“What’s that?”

“I will explain when I win whatever this game is,” she said with a cocky smirk.

“Kai bai bo. It’s a children’s game. Here, look.” Hyungwon flashed some different shapes with his hand—a fist, an L, and a flat palm—as he named them each in Goryeon. “Rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper, and paper beats rock. It’s how kids settle arguments back home.”

Naran looked at him bemusedly. “Is that how you make royal decisions, too?”

“I’ll keep it in mind for the future,” he teased. The prince ran through the shapes a few more times, and after some practice runs with the princess, he said, “Ready?”

She nodded, and as the chant came to an end, Hyungwon shot out with a wide, flat hand while Naran’s L-shaped fingers pointed right for the prince’s heart.

“Scissors beat paper, my lord,” the princess said, beaming.

“A coin hunt it is then.”

“Forgive me, Your Highness,” said Magda, and the royal couple jerked toward the woman they’d both forgotten had joined them, “but the Emperor has ordered that we get back on the road.”

“Over so soon?” Naran complained, and her attendant smiled at her at last.

“The party wants to make it to the tree line before nightfall, and it is further than it looks out here.”

All eyes turned to the horizon where the browns and sages of the grasses gave way to tangled thickets of the deepest emeralds, and at last, the prince nodded and said, “I’ll be back in a moment.”

He trotted off toward his parents, and while he spoke with them, Magda turned her full attention on the princess until Naran actually itched beneath her collar.

“What?” volleyed the princess.

“The Queen would be furious with you, My Lady. If your game should be uncovered by the Emperor and Empress, they might look at you less favorably.”

Naran chuckled. “Less favorably than they already do? I don’t think there’s any room to go down. And anyway, isn’t this what you people all wanted? Me conversing with my intended? Am I not doing as you all asked?”

Magda sighed. “On your own terms as usual, but yes.”

“Everyone else’s terms are gratuitously restrictive,” Naran argued.

“And if you should injure yourself?”

The princess glowered at the older woman, and they both broke out in a laugh. Magda sighed. “I hate how easily you can twist even my arm, me who has been by your side for all 24 years to see every trick in your book. Ah, you’d better at least put on a good show, Your Highness.”

“Dearest Magda, when do I not?”

Naran sat proudly back in the saddle of a beautiful chestnut stallion with an umber mane and eyes bright with purpose. Though the saddle wasn’t contoured to her body the way her own had been, it was a Moghul saddle, comfortable and sturdy with this one being particularly expensive; the horse she had chosen, after all, had been ridden by Hyungwon’s personal valet, Hansol, though it was really a gift to the royal family from her own. The princess would always choose a Moghul horse in a race over any other proud steed.

Beside her waited a burly man with a full face and thin eyes. His skin was thick and sun-loved and his thighs were stout and no-doubt earned by days upon days of horseback riding. Ahead of both of them was a seemingly endless track of plains dotted only by small pouches of coins wrapped in handkerchiefs, nearly lost in the tufts of grasses. The objective was simple—grab as many pouches as one could before the track ran out and without tumbling from the horse.

Naran looked to her opponent, but he did not look back. She had wondered for a moment whether he would take the challenge seriously considering he was facing off against a woman, but she was pleased to see he was only focused on the task his prince had assigned him.

“Last chance to shield your honor, Princess,” heckled the smug, handsome prince on the sideline.

“Mine or yours, good sir?” she returned as she gathered the reins in one hand and shook out the other.

Hyungwon grinned and raised his arm. The moment it dropped, Naran was off like a firecracker, charging down the line with the horse’s ribs swelling beneath her heels as she spurred it on.

As she neared the first pouch, they were a haunch behind her rival. Both challengers slid over the side of their horses as though they were a split second from falling off. Naran’s arm extended as far as it would go, and though her opponent was much taller, she was light and swift and her horse was smaller. Her leg muscles screamed as she squeezed her steed for dear life, and her fingers closed around the tuft at the top of the pouch before she used every last bit of momentum to swing back up into the saddle.

A quick glance to her left, and she saw that the other rider had succeeded as well, so she pushed her horse even faster. She had gained on him now, neck and neck, as they approached the next pouch. Again, she dipped, and again she succeeded. So, too, did the man, but he had slowed now, falling to the back of her horse but still very much in it.

One pouch remained. Hooves thundered over earth as dirt kicked up from the dry plains. Thin ribbons of blood disappeared into the wind from the knife blades of grass. Naran had a solid lead now, but it wouldn’t matter if she couldn’t collect the last pouch and her opponent did. Her body ached and her lungs huffed and her head swam from the direction shifts, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the crimson silk just ahead.

Naran readied in the saddle, the reins tight in her left hand as she dove over the side. It was harder than ever to keep her grip on the beast, but sheer force of will glued her to her stallion. She was tired from weeks without her customary long rides, so she couldn’t get as low as she had the first time. The princess let out a guttural war cry as her arm stretched to its limit, every joint doing its damnedest to separate just a little more—just a little more…

When at last she pulled up, legs shaking and face throbbing and lungs trembling, she seated the last coin pouch in her lap and pulled up on the reins as she crossed the finish line. She turned her horse around to find her opponent in the grass on his back, brows knitted in fury and all three pouches scattered around him.

Naran returned to the man’s side and dismounted to help him up. He wavered between taking her hand and not but thought better of his refusal of a royal. He rose to his feet on jelly legs and had to lean on his horse to steady himself.

“Well-met, my friend,” said the princess in her very limited Goryeon. “You did very well.”

“I failed His Grace,” he grumbled in a stony voice, but Naran shook her head.

“Absolutely not,” she asserted. “You almost won.”

The man could not face her, but his droopy head nodded in thanks anyway. Together, they collected the coins and struggled back into their saddles so that they could trot back down the race line where they met the remaining party on its way to meet the riders.

“Damn,” swore Prince Hyungwon even though he was grinning from ear to ear. “I wish now that archery had been the task.”

Still breathless, Naran smiled back, all teeth. “Don’t feel badly, my prince. I would have won either event. Thanks to my grandfather, I’ve been trained in many horseback games, and I never lose them anymore, but thank you for the fun.”

“I take it I won’t be hearing my name anytime soon.”

“You’d really have to work for it, my lord,” she replied, licking up the sweat on her upper lip. “But I’ll tell you what… If you can snatch this coin from my hand right now, I shall say it once as you asked.”

Naran presented one of the coins from the pouches in her palm and sagged to the side in her saddle as she extended her arm. Hyungwon eyed it and then her for a moment long enough to burn with awkwardness, and even though it was nearly enough to throw her off her game, the princess caught his hand shooting up in her periphery. She jerked her fist back in time to save the coin but not her bone-weary self, and she tipped from her saddle with a shout.

The prince caught her in his arms, their hearts racing—Naran’s double-time thanks to the competition—as their faces nearly collided.

“Are you all right?” he asked, his breath feathering across her skin.

“I… shouldn’t have let go of the reins,” she admitted. Naran cleared her throat and pushed back from his chest. “I’ve got it now, thank you.”

The couple looked around anxiously at their audience, and when the prince spoke again, he looked instead at the dust cloud further down the plains. “We should get going if we want to catch up to the caravan. My parents are operating under the assumption that you ladies just needed a few more minutes to stretch your legs, and we do not want them to send a rider back to vet that.”

Naran agreed, and even though her heart wished she could still ride, she knew she was exhausted. The princess passed all the coins to her fellow rider with a thank you for the challenge, and though he did not want to accept them, with Prince Hyungwon’s backing, the man reluctantly accepted.

For now, at least, the carriage did not feel nearly so dismal or claustrophobic, and the princess fell into an easy nap.

The closer they got to the border of Moghulikhan and Goryeo, the wilder the land became. Their first night away from the open plains, the trees were squat, petty things—scrawny and twisted and barely taller than bushes—but over the next several days, they lengthened like children growing into proud adults. Towering pines with sturdy trunks encroached on the road in orderly rows until it felt more like dungeon bars. But as the landscape grew hillier, the plants became more diverse, and instead of intimidating the princess, it dazzled her.

Naran had never seen so many trees in her life. The steppe was simple and open; there were no secrets there. Now in the foothills of some foreign mountain chain, there was nothing but mystery. She could hear things she could not see, and she could feel the air, not as a dry kiss but a damp one that lingered and lingered and lingered. It wasn’t bad; it was just wrong.

After a long day of rain and mists thick as cotton, the caravan found a clearing big enough to accommodate the carriages and wagons, and they pulled over midday to set up camp while they waited a day or two for the roads to dry up. With the sour weather, the party kept to their respective gers for the night, but by morning, the sky was clear again.

Since the ground was still sodden, it was decided that everyone would go in stages to wash up in the nearby stream. Rivers were few and far between on the steppe and what did flow was open to all eyes, so washing up had been in large part out of the question save for a washbasin for faces and hands. For her part, Naran couldn’t wait to scrub off the layers of dust—that appeared "rather mysteriously,” the empress had observed—on her skin and clothes from her daily rides at the back of the caravan.

The women were assigned a pool upstream from camp and the men another much further down. Naran came when summoned by the empress’s lady, and together with Magda, the party of women headed into a beautiful bit of wilderness situated between two massive boulders and ringed by fat, broad-leafed trees which the princess had never seen before. The women undressed and stepped into the water.

It was cold, probably fresh from the mountains to the north, but it was invigorating. They did not soak but scrubbed quickly while the empress’s lady-in-waiting sang a ballad in Goryeon. The empress wasn’t feeling chatty—not that she ever seemed to be with the princess—but she did hum along with the song.

As Naran washed up, she stole glances at her future mother-in-law. Even in her 50s, Empress Indeok stunned. Clearly, her son had been gifted most of his good looks from her for she was tall and slender, graceful with every movement, and soft around every edge. Her skin was pristine, resistant to every wrinkle, and then there were her eyes—as luminous as the prince’s and just as disaffected with everything.

The princess thought she ought to start some kind of conversation, but maybe she wasn’t supposed to. After all, between the sunlight dappling the stream bed through the canopy and the fresh rainfall swelling the creek waters over moss-covered rocks, the ambiance was perfectly serene. Naran decided not to overstep and let the servant finish her song, and to her surprise, the moment it was done, the empress turned to her and smiled. Granted, it was through tight lips, but it was the first one the princess had been privileged to receive.

“You’re a very pretty sort of girl, aren’t you, Princess Narangerel?”

Her voice, like her son’s as well, was rather deep but with a rich tone to it, a voice hinting at a depth of wisdom Naran simply didn’t have.

The princess bowed her head and answered from the safety of the shadows, “Her Highness is too kind.”

“Be careful that your riding doesn’t weather your lovely face, my dear.”

Naran’s bow deepened, this time from the weight of her embarrassment. The empress had caught her riding! The princess braced for brimstone, but when none came, she risked a glance up through her damp hair.

As she stepped out of the stream and into a waiting towel, Indeok mused, “After decades at Court, I don’t believe I’m easily shocked anymore, but I will admit, Hyungwon’s attention to you has taken me by surprise. My son does not reveal his heart easily.”

Naran hurriedly scooped a handful of water to quench her dry throat.

The corner of the empress’s mouth twitched upward before she said, “I ask of you one thing, Princess Narangerel. Always endeavor to earn my son’s good graces.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” the princess said with another bow, this one out of equal parts respect and mortification.

“Enjoy your bath.”

With that, Empress Indeok headed back toward camp with her lady-in-waiting, leaving Magda and Naran to the creek. The princess was too stunned to remember what she was doing.

Magda cleared her throat. “Your Highness, your toes are turning blue.”

Naran hopped onto the bank and took shelter in the heavy folds of her towel. Magda did not say a word, and the princess could not have been more grateful. Her head was spinning too fast from her first real conversation with her soon-to-be mother-in-law to process any other thoughts. She could hardly wait for the long walk back to the camp.

Magda helped her into a fresh deel, and once the collar was fastened, the lady asked, “Do you feel better, Your Grace?”

The only thing Naran could manage was a nod, so they headed down the freshly-cut path in silence. Through a break in the canopy, the princess spied a wheeling eagle. It was too high up to tell if it was a golden one, but she whistled out Altantsetseg’s call anyway. The bird did not respond and soon disappeared from view.

Naran was lost in a bout of topsy-turvy emotions when the ladies chanced upon Prince Hyungwon’s valet, Hansol. He greeted them with a bow and a flash of his unexpectedly pretty teeth for a servant.

The princess was still too confused to have her manners about her, but with Magda’s helpful elbow to her ribs, Naran fumbled, “Oh! Is the prince back at camp?”

“He should be by now, Your Grace,” the valet answered.

“Good… Good.”

If he was back at camp, Hyungwon couldn’t further addle her mind.

“Enjoy your stroll, my ladies,” he said then with a bow.

Naran liked Hansol. He was deeply respectful, even after she had commandeered his horse as her reward for her wager, and he always smiled with warmth when their eyes chanced to meet. Indeed, he was one of the only Goryeons she’d met who did.

Before he passed her, he tipped his head to the princess and added, “Forgive my transgression, My Lady, but His Highness is right. You look very well. The mountain air agrees with you.”

Naran mumbled her thanks though her head was still too full of the empress’s words to process his, and with that, Hansol left them for the camp.

“Magda,” she begged, grasping the other woman’s hand. “I cannot go back yet. Since I cannot ride, I have no peace. Let me walk just a little further. I need some time to myself; I’ve had none.”

“My Lady—”

“Just to that rock down there?” Naran asked, pointing to a large boulder halfway down the hill. “You can see me from here still.”

Magda sighed but relented as she took up a post with her eyes firmly fixed there. “Don’t be too long. I am hungry.”

Gleefully, the princess zig-zagged down the hill, which was much steeper than she expected, but it was easy enough to keep her balance with so many trees to hold on to. Naran made it to the boulder and hopped onto it far too inelegantly for a princess. She let the sturdiness of the stone ground her as she studied the multitudes of greens and the array of textures. She was almost herself again by the time a flash of white stole her gaze.

Prince Hyungwon rounded a bend in the trail up from the pool somewhere down below. A spray of crystalline droplets peppered the side of his face, forgotten in his haste to dry off. His eyebrows shot up for a split second underneath his fringe of wet hair still dripping onto his thin white shirt. He looked at her with the same fascination he did when she would catch him watching her through the carriage window as she rode beside it.

“Good afternoon, Princess,” he said, and when his gaze fell to her criss-crossed perch on the stone, he asked, “everything all right?”

“Fine.”

Hyungwon quirked an eyebrow. “Glad to hear it… But you really shouldn’t be out here alone. The hill gets steep down below, and bandits have been caught in these woods.”

“Oh, I’m not,” Naran hurried to say as she swiveled to gesture back up at her servant, waiting impatiently at the top of the path. “Magda’s keeping an eye on me of course.”

“Well, if you’re planning on staying a little longer, may I sit with you? It’s been a bit of a hike.”

Another droplet collided with the prince’s chest, and Naran bit her lip. “That would be fine.”

Hyungwon took a seat nearby on the rock and stared out into the woods along with her. “They tell me we’ll be in Goryeo tomorrow, provided the weather holds.”

“Then I suppose I should enjoy my last days as a Moghul in Moghulikhan,” she replied.

After a pause, the prince asked, “How has your horse been treating you?”

“Very well, my lord. He has saved my sanity on this long trip. Thank you again for that. For holding up your end of our bargain.”

“The pleasure has been all mine,” said Hyungwon warmly.

Naran could feel him staring at her profile, but she would not look back. She hummed. “We never discussed what you want out of this arrangement?”

“Me? I suppose the same things you do. The freedom to come and go and indulge as I always have.”

At this, she looked at the prince. With high brows, she probed, “And continue with your serving lasses?”

“I suppose.”

Naran laughed.

“What’s so funny?” asked Hyungwon.

“You are. Since when has a prince or king had restrictions on whom he beds?”

He blushed lightly and, tight-lipped, added, “I figured it would bother most women.”

“Even if it did, what difference would that make?”

Hyungwon stuffed his arms across his chest and grumbled, “Maybe not to some, but it would to me.”

“Then you have your fiancée’s permission to dally with whomever you’d like, sire.”

His smooth jaw set unusually sharply. “You conceded that rather quickly.”

“Would you like me to agree more slowly then?” she teased.

He didn’t answer, and the levity tumbled down the hillside with the stream.

Naran pressed her lips together as she shifted her attention to her hands in her lap. “So, independence and discretion. That’s all?”

Softer, he said, “I have a few other requests.”

“Let me hear them.”

“Sometimes, I should very much like if you would drink and talk with me.”

Naran laughed again, this time in genuine shock. “Drink with you?”

“Mm, and talk like we’re talking now—openly and familiarly. I don’t want our marriage to be unfriendly even if it is intended to be separate.”

“Why?”

“Do I need a reason to want to talk with my wife?”

Hyungwon’s face betrayed nothing. Though his cheeks were extra bright from the scrubbing, and his eyes were clearer, if darker, than she’d seen them, for all intents and purposes, he was as sincere as Naran had ever seen him.

“I can agree to that,” she said much more shyly than she’d intended.

“And lastly…”

The prince could not look at her any longer. Instead, he watched his feet dangle over the edge of the boulder as they bounced nervously.

When he didn’t say anything, Naran pressed, “Lastly?”

Hyungwon cleared his throat. The silence was so deep between them that the princess could only make out the babble of the creek below them and the stabs of her own measured breaths—she wasn’t even sure he was still breathing.

“When you’re with me, uh—” the prince fumbled. He paused yet again, and when she faced him, he dodged her gaze. Naran was just about to burst when he finally said, “When we’re alone… as we will sometimes have to be, you know, in bed… from time to time, I should like it very much if you looked at me.”

It felt like someone was pulling the princess’s skin tauter and tauter as Hyungwon’s words sank in. There had been no avoiding the knowledge that occasionally they would have to share the same bed, and even if the obligation of it bothered her, the thought of those nimble hands wandering over her body under a veil of sheets generated tingles in Naran’s blood. But the thought of him inside her, looking down at her as he hoped she’d look up at him, sent a rush of heat between her thighs and left her head fuzzy.

Hyungwon ringed his thumb with his other hand as her silence sank into him. He cleared his throat again. “I suppose that is far too much to ask. I’m sorry—”

“Okay,” Naran blurted.

His head lifted at last, and when he looked at her, it was under a canopy of thick lashes. His voice was stiff and measured as he said, “‘Okay,’ you accept my apology?”

“Okay to your terms. I accept them, my lord.”

Hyungwon looked rather dumbstruck, but the smile that came a second later was bright and altogether dopey. Naran jumped off the rock then, wishing for a split second it was a cliff, just so she didn’t have to look at that smile anymore. It was doing very funny things to her, and after the events of her day, she didn’t have the presence of mind to interpret it as anything other than perfectly happy.

#monsta x smut #multichapter #prisoner to temptation #hyungwon smut #royal au #arranged marriage #romance #slow burn #bodice ripper #third person

31 notes · View notes

popcornforone · 2 years ago

Text

You’ve Not Lived, Until You Feel Alive

Chapter 2 of Is That All Mr Gutierrez series

Master List

Chapter 1

Thanks for the love for chapter 1 peoples, I know it was a little different to what I usually write but I need to character builds in this one. When we get to the smut it will be exactly what you all want.

Synopsis: Time has now passed & its 10 years since you had your first kiss with Javi. A lot has changed, & you’ve both grown, but your therapist is asking you to write a secure blog only they can see to get you to believe in yourself once again.

Word count:2500

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18! THIS IS A VERY TRAUMATIC CHAPTER! I know this will not be for some of you, it gets dark, but I needed it too, I have to break the reader before they get to have fun. Death, murder, suicidal thoughts, violence, terrorists, cancer, shooting, blood, pain & suffering, angst, agony, anger, PTSD, mental health, nightmares. Pining, wanting, unrequited love not being returned, break ups, loss, sorrow. This chapter is done in a blog, journal format.

Again I am sorry if this is triggering or too much, but I needed to do this to character build. If you want to skip to chapter 3 that’s fine, it will be published soon.

Thanks for understanding peoples, it means a lot, & thanks for reading it’s always appreciated. Don’t worry the smut is on its way, I promise.

Secure therapy Blog post 18

I almost didn’t publish this. I really didn’t think anyone would want to hear what I had to say after the events but my therapist said I should just write when the day happened. Writings my therapy, it’s my creative outlet.

But today was the day the unimaginable thing happened….

My dad passed away & im not sure I can go on.

My dads been unwell for a while. We knew it was cancer & it disappeared about 4 years ago but then it came back, & it was incurable.

Nothing the doctors said… there’s nothing we can do… he’s got 6 months… go make memories with him… so that’s what my mum

& I have done.

My mum to have to go through another loss in her life. Another heartbreak, another good bye. I’m not ready to post about the other heart break yet, but I will do one day. It not mine that happened I don’t recall it.

But we have spent the last 18 months with my dad having the best time in the world. The Gutierrez wedding in Cuba for Javis older sister Luna was so much fun, my dads face as I danced with Javi after few too many drinks, thinking of what I could have had with Javi from my time as a teenager crushing on him. It was like time had frozen. My head buried into Javis neck, inhaling his scent for old time sake. The way his hand stroked my back, making me want more. Trying not to think that his fiancé was looking right at us. She knows I’m just his assistant & look after the legitimate side of the business. She has no idea the feelings I have hidden away from her soon to be husband. A pipe dream I had 10 years ago when I wrote my teenage diary.

But then we got home & dad took a downward turn. & he told me to be brave & go after my dreams & to always be true to myself.

When he was still with us after the 6 months the doctor originally told us, we took each day as a blessing. I don’t believe in god, but I know my dad does. Every night I asked my dads god for one more day with him. & obviously I asked for one too many.

Watching him pass was heartbreaking & but also soothing. He was no longer in pain. & what he did medically for the world to help & try & find a cure still astounds me. My dad went through awake brain surgery to see what happened when it was operated on & how it affects the body. He was so brave. If that procedure saves one life, my dads pain & death won’t have been for nothing.

The Gutierrez’ have told me to take as much time as I need. Javi has sent around a vase of black orchids, my favourite, he always says he sees my inner goth whenever he looks at them. He’s said the business can wait & that he can look after himself for a few days, but I am already missing that dimple & cheeky smile. Even now he has a calming influence on me. It’s just him, it’s just J. He will always be there for me. & yes it’s weird that one of my closest friends in the world is a drug lord & part of the mafia, but we run the legitimate side of the family empire. We run it well. & Javi knows a day will come when he has to run all of it. He’s not looking forward to that but he knows it’s his destiny. He & Sofia will raise an amazing family & have a fantastic life & I will watch by the side, maybe with a family of my own, watching them be happy & be glad I have a small part in their life.

My dad told me to be happy. & that’s what I’m going to do… be happy.

He wouldn’t want me to mope around & wait for life to happen.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

We will have the funeral, Javi Senior has said we can have the wake at their mansion, no need for us to have it in our hotel.

But then I think I need to take that gap year I’ve always promised I would do.

I want to see more of the world than just Spain & England. I want to experience life. I want to feel alive. That’s what my dad always said, you’ve not lived until you feel alive.

Dad I miss you.

I miss your smile.

Your kind eyes.

Your bad jokes.

& I miss that you will never walk me down the aisle or watch me grown into a woman. I know I am a woman but I have so many life experiences to come & you won’t be there to watch me grow & fail. Become proud of myself & who I become.

I love you dad…

I’m not sure I can do this without you…

Secure therapy Blog post 26

I’ve put this off

Everyone’s told me to type

Everyone asked me if I’m okay

I say I am

But I’m not

So here goes

4 months ago I nearly died…

even typing that feels like a weight has lifted off my shoulder

It was horrible

I should not be here

I can still feel the heat when I drop off to sleep

The dreams & nightmares are so vivid

Every day awake was already struggle & now my peaceful sleep is full of flashbacks of horrors or my worst nightmares

It’s pain like nothing else

I was in Rome, after seeing the opera, just on my own. I needed from space from mum, work & Javi. His break up was hurting him a lot & he’d been making rash impulsive decisions. It’s most unlike him. So I suggested I went away for a week, have some me time & so he can get over Sophia. The last thing we both needed was to be moody in each others presence.

So I flew to Rome, did all the sights & went shopping, hooked up with some guys & stayed in a nice hotel & went to the opera.

Then at 3am as I slept in bed I felt warm, it was September so the weather is to be expected. & then I heard the noise, & smelt the ash. A car had exploded outside our hotel & the front of the building had caught on fire. I grabbed my phone & keys & headed to the fire escape.

I could feel the heat surround me, my lungs desperately needing air, as this ash fog just coated my throat. I remember seeing some people pass out, lots of screaming & items on the floor that I did not register. I knew I had to make it out, I had to see everyone I cared for one last time

I know that in the last 18 months since my dad passed I’ve felt helpless & suicidal at times but I’ve always found strength & love from others, it’s got me though it. I needed to get out in one piece. I needed to be with everyone even if it is just to say goodbye.

But then I got to the lobby to make my way to the exit. This was not just a car crashing & exploding, this was a massacre. This was an attack on the hotel & its guests. Bodys burnt in front of my eyes, some people bleeding out, bullets & weapons across the floor. Death stood between me & my exit. How I had got to this part of the hotel still alive & not in pain was a miracle already. As I stepped across the lobby heading for the exit, I could just hear my dads voice like he was there going, you’re doing so well sweetheart, you’re almost safe, you can make it. A few more steps & the horrors will be over. You can almost smell the fresh night air, keep going.

Maybe there is an afterlife, maybe he was reaching out to me but I knew I had to make it across & get tho the exit. It took me a while but I stumbled eventually through the exit & gasped as the nights air filled my lungs.

But then the horror continued… but I have no recollection of it. All I remember is the high piecing screech & suddenly feeling warm as something hit me. Blood trickling & seeping through my sleep shorts. I had been shot. I know I blacked out but there was just one thing running through my mind before my face crashed into the hard cold concrete path. That i would was never get to apologise to Javi for telling him to man up after the break up, for not telling him that I knew Sofia was having an affair sooner, & for not telling him that he has been my true love from the moment I met him, aged 13.

27 of us survived the hotel siege. My mum said I had a face Picasso would have been proud to paint when I woke up. She was crying but her humour got me through it. She’s had so so much loss in her life. Losing me would have hurt the most, she’d have no one. We agreed one step at a time, keep things slow, but I keep having these nightmares from the day. I now know it was the police who shot me by accident thinking I was apart if the group storming the hotel & I am being compensated, I mean it is there job to protect everyone & not take any risks. But I was in my jammies how many terrorist siege a hotel in pjs?

Seeing Javi when I got back here on the island was perfect. All our anger & frustration with each other had gone. We hugged & cried & promised to never be mean or hide anything from each other again. & then he broke my heart just before I went to tell him how I really felt about him & that he helped get me through that night & how he was the last thing I thought of before I blacked out. He said I was his best friend & he knew we would always have each others back.

It still hurts much like the wound in my leg. It hurt deep. But if Javi just wants us to be just friends I can cope with that. I just want Javi to be happy that’s all. I want to watch him grow & flourish & live his best life. I want the world for Javi & if that means I’m just a friend, I hope I can deal with it.

I’m so glad I have a secure server to type on.

This has really helped me today, & so has looking back at all my old posts. Therapy has really made me not feel guilty, that I’m here & those people aren’t. Survivors guilt is real & it’s painful. I do still wish at times that I didn’t make it out but my dad was the voice in my head telling me to keep going & that I am strong. My mum will always have my back. & I know I can trust Javi to support me in everything as a friend, even if that’s all it is. But I do wish it was something more…

Secure therapy Blog post 32

It’s been a while… it really has

My therapist told me to write

She told be to be honest

She told me she would read this

She told me to say it

I am worth something

I am not defined by my recent trauma

& I am valid in my pain

Last week was not only the 2 year anniversary of my dads death but also the day I received my compensation for being shot & the findings report from the massacre were released on the same day, it hit me like a train & i seriously considered with all the emotions & conflict inside me, if my life actually mattered

My mums back in London, to complete the renovation of the new dinning room & kitchen of our hotel there, my best friend is on her honeymoon, & no offence to you my therapist, but I knew what you were going to say. I wanted something else or someone else to validate me.

I’ve been staying at Javis on Saturdays recently, he says that’s when he misses company the most & he usually has meetings or church on Sunday mornings. So I was just standing in the kitchen cooking us dinner, when everything just over came me, the knife in my hand looking so sharp & inviting, would anyone really miss me if I killed myself right now…

I didn’t even know Javi had entered the kitchen, but I knew the second I came out of my paused trance that the tingling sensation Within me was from his hand removing the knife from mine, putting it out of my reach. His other hand stroking my back going up & down my spine. I felt like I was actually breathing & being seen for the first time in almost 2 years.

& that’s when one of my favourite songs came on the playlist i was listening too. & I just rocked with Javi in silence, his arms tightly around me waist, squeezing the pain out of me but also filling me with love & purpose… the moment I finally turned my head to see him & his big puppy dog eyes, the lyrics sang “when nobody understands you, well I do” played. We both just softly smiled at each other no words being said.

When the song ended he asked me if I felt better & that I was always welcome & safe in his house or his parents villa if I need some space & didn’t want to go back to the hotel. I told him I knew that, he told me because that’s what best friends do we say nothing & we just understand don’t we…

I should have told him there & then that I was now sure I wanted more but the moment was so pure & perfect & gave me purpose again, that I didn’t want to ruin it with heart break for me if he rejected me. I couldn’t cope with that, not right now. So I’ll continue continuing on

I know my place

& I know Javi will always be there for me…

Chapter Three

#fanfic #my fics #pedro pascal #no minors #javi g #javi gutierrez #javi g fic #javi g fanfiction #the unbearable weight of massive talent #tuwomt #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal fanfiction

12 notes · View notes