#mind blurv

[sreabhadh]

Oki so Swerve x Blurr post here. (Blurve, if you will, because it's literally the worst sounding ship name I've heard and so I can't get it out of my head lol)

But so Blurr is established multiple times to have difficulty remembering names and whether he tries to remember them or not, doesn't seem to care much.

My thought is that once upon a time he tried to remember names and he still tries to passively but that due to head trauma etc making it basically impossible he has given up on it

But what about the names he really doesn't want to forget? The people he really cares about? Cause speaking as someone who can have an awful short term memory/memory in general (forgot my own age before, there's a whole story and everything lol) just because you care doesn't mean you're going to remember. Just because it's important and matters a lot to you doesn't mean you won't forget. So some fun angst potential there with that :3 Struggling, grasping, having the name on the tip of his tongue, he KNOWS he knows it, he's heard it before, he TRIED to remember he tried so hard, repeated it so many times (maybe because he noticed how hard core of a fan Swerve was and didn't want to let him down) he's SUPPOSED to be able to remember this, it shouldn't be so hard- and then it's just gone and his mind goes blank and he can't remember it for the life of him. (Potentially a reason he maybe avoids or distances himself from Swerve and others- so he can maintain the hero image and persona that inspires them without them getting close enough to see the cracks or feel personally spurned by him because he can't remember their names etc)

But Blurr. Wants to remember Swerve's name. He owes it to him. (Also I'm on the ship so I also vote he wants to remember his name because he likes him. And like, how do you ask someone out of you can't even remember their name?) Swerve is a long time hard core fan with merch from before Blurr was a pilot, even before he was a famous racer. Swerve has stuff from the early days. Blurr doesn't want to ruin that hero imagery, the hope it gives Swerve, the light it puts in his eyes, the fire/gusto/pep in his soul etc. (This can also be a justification because Blurr just likes Swerve but has never been in a long-term/serious/successful relationship before and needs justification to be thinking about the cute guy who's name he's trying to remember).

Blurr, writing Swerve's name down. Misspelled in some places, spelled correctly in others, sometimes it's the wrong name, something similar. And he can't remember which it is. And sometimes he loses the slips of paper etc he writes them on. He can't keep track of it, can't remember. Like a really important password you made, wrote down somewhere, forgot, and just can't crack.

Blurr. Losing Swerve. Blaming himself for not being fast enough, guilt compounded by the fact he can't remember his name. Blurr, finding Swerve's old stuff, torn posters, old merch shoved angrily in a tiny box. Blurr feeling like he deserves that and worse because he failed him and he wasn't the hero he was supposed to be, he was just a face and that's all he has and even that's disfigured now, just like the rest of him. Blurr visiting Swerve's grave to apologize. Visiting his grave to help him remember his name. Or wanting to, but being unable to due to being stuck in a hospital. Blurr falling asleep trying to remember/memorize his name, like trying to count sheep.

Swerve though. Swerve, after getting disillusioned from the shiny idol image he has of Blurr, even after seeing the actual hero side of Blurr and learning what he's actually like, not expecting Blurr to remember his name. Originally thinking that because "he's a selfish prick" and then that changing over time to more of "it's not his fault his mind doesn't do that" and "there's no reason for him to remember me anyway" (and I secretly hope he doesn't remember me even though I really really want him to because I don't want him to remember the awkward idiot that obsessed over him then died). Swerve coming to care for Blurr all over again but because he's seeing the real Blurr for the first time. Swerve not expecting Blurr to remember his name, Swerve deciding not to care whether or not Blurr remembers. Blurr tried saving him, and he remembers that much, that much is already more than Swerve had expected.

Swerve finding some of the scribbled up pieces of paper and wondering what those are about

Blurr, maybe once realizing he's real, alive and not a ghost, having a moment of lucidity. Calls him by name. Swerve is shooketh. Blurr maybe panics or tries to back track, thinking he said the wrong name. "No- you...got it right the first time." "I did?" "Yeah." "..." "What did I say the first time?" "Swerve." "Swerve." "Yeah." Blurr *maybe almost cries a lil bit, especially since this revelation is paired with the revelation he's not dead.*

Swerve having fanfics running in his mind and making him blush, you know, the kind of "but you can call me whatever you want" kind of flirting and then awkwardly stumbling over his words while Blurr's just glad he's alive (and doesn't hate him for some reason?) (and Blurr is also busy being flustered because not only is Swerve not dead but he's the cute one and the cute one is talking to him and doesn't seem to mind or be offended that Blurr was having trouble remembering his name (hopefully not because of low self esteem issues) AND THE CUTE ONE IS TALKING TO HIM AND HELPING HIM WALK AND- (and maybe for once he doesn't mind sometimes not being able to walk on his own 👀)

Blurr making a joke about how he'd forget his own name if he didn't write it down (via autograph) or hear he screamed (by fans) so many times

Swerve realizing the scribbled up pieces of paper were Blurr trying to remember his name

Swerve saying things and treating Blurr well in ways that make Blurr feel like a person. Loved and admired, but as a person and not a face or an image someone else holds and controls, but as an actual person with their own thoughts, struggles and emotions. Swerve still admiring him even though Blurr feels like a failure. Swerve caring for him even though he's seen him without the makeup and his public persona, seen him at his "ugliest." Swerve respecting and understanding the importance of the public persona and how much work, effort, sacrifice it is and how valuable it is, but also preferring to be with Blurr when he's "at his ugliest" and just himself. Swerve's perceptions of Blurr changing Blurr's perceptions of himself and starting to himself as more than a face, and having worth beyond what he can do for others

The confidence Swerve has in Blurr giving Blurr the confidence in himself to go in public with out the special makeup. Blurr having the confidence to speak honestly to the public (hopefully potentially with evidence that the explosions, accidents, and his injuries are because of Shockwave +/ Pharma)

Swerve saving Blurr and Blurr asking Swerve for his autograph. "Why?" "Because that's what people do when they meet their heroes, right?" (Having it written down in Swerve's handwriting will help Blurr remember it and know it's spelled correctly) *Blurr blushing* *Swerve.exe has broken* *error messages on his face plate* Swindle: *admonishing* "Blurr don't break your boyfriend you haven't even gone on a date with him yet."

*Blurr.exe and Swerve.exe both being very broken and blushing*

Swindle: "Oh for the love of- *waves wad of cash/credit card in front of them* - take this and go on a f@cking date already you too and get out of my hair you're gonna make me sick, get out, scram!"

Blurr and Swerve being awkward, lovesick, and adorable.

Swerve and Blurr date nights where nothing bad happens and I can (at least temporarily) ignore Keferon's comments of "you'll have to dig him out of the hole first" and "it sucks to be a Blurr fan because he always dies" (paraphrased)

Keferon please don't do it please don't you dare.

I will take all the pain and trauma, so long as they can be happy together in the end please I'm begging you.

(Everyone making things and contributing to the mech AU(s) are making and doing phenomenal things and I love all of them, thank you so much Keferon and everyone else involved)

[angiepangie486]

Too lazy to actually plan and put on a day outfit for school today, 8am lab, having to wake up at 6:30a. I'm prone to cold, wedding comfy thick socks, pj pants, a college, a t shirt, a college sweater, and a jacket of the university I plan to transfer to. Current temp 58F. I also have lecture for that class today at 1p, temp then might be around mid 80s? High 70s. Hahaha