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full-of-jams · 5 years ago

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Tangsuyuk Love

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: College student Jungkook passes cute notes with a customer who always orders take-out tangsuyuk at his part-time job. Meanwhile he’s trying not to miserably fail his Math class, while hiding his ever-growing crush on you.

Genre: college au, f2l, fluff, smut, one shot, did I mention FLUFF?

Warnings: mild swearing, sexual content, hold your heart palpitations!

Word Count: 11.5k

A/N: I wanted to write something light and sweet before I continued with Good Riddance. It will be easy, she said. It will be fun, she said. It will be quick, she said. Ha. haha. ha. ha. Ignore my pain. Enjoy!

°°°°°°°

[09/04 18:34 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY] 1 Tangsuyuk (large) 1 Jjamppong 2 Kimchi Mandu ---------------- Note: Without pineapple! Please make the jjamppong extra spicy, my boyfriend just broke up with me T-T

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 1 Jjamppong -- 5,000 2 Kimchi Mandu -- 6,000 1 Soju -- 0

Total: 31,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: Service! Nothing’s better than the fresh taste of soju to lighten a heavy heart :) Cheer up LatteIsHorse-Nim!

Paper Note: JK-nim, thanks for the soju. It sweetened my bitter night. This is Tokki, please give him a loving new home! TT-TT

Jungkook was fucking terrified of you. If it weren’t for the fact that he was close to failing Statistical Analysis, he would’ve considered faking a stomach flu and making a beeline straight out of the library.

“If you have a box containing 3 white, 4 red and 5 black balls what is the probability that you will draw a white ball on your first draw and a black ball on your second draw?” you asked again through gritted teeth.

You looked up at Jungkook and were met by an empty stare. Usually you enjoyed tutoring your fellow classmate. He was a smart and funny guy, maybe a bit awkward at times, but always trying his best. Today every little thing grated on your nerves. It took you every ounce of energy to get out of bed and look like a presentable human being this morning. You really didn’t want to sit here for another hour if the boy was just going to stare at you like a petrified statue. “It’s really not that difficult. You just have to apply conditional probability.”

Jungkook let out a frustrated huff and pulled at his hair, “I really don’t know, this doesn’t make any sense! Why do I even need this stuff for my major? Who cares if I pull out a white ball or a black ball first? It’s not like I’m planning on becoming Houdini!”

Sometimes you pitied him, but who on Earth had an irrational fear of Gauss distributions and probability?! They were beautiful, harmless, abstract concepts of life. Your sympathy was muffled by a thrumming headache. All the late-night crying already had you chugging water and slapping ice cubes on your face at breakfast. Right now you just wanted to go home, change into your pjs, order some tangsuyuk and binge watch Boys Over Flowers. The cringy acting and Go Jun Pyo’s luscious locks were the only things that made your miserable life feel a bit less pathetic at the moment. “Jungkook, we went over this last time. Just apply the damn formula,” you snapped.

“Why are you being so scary today?” he asked wide-eyed and apprehensive.

You took a deep breath, rubbed your temples and tried to calm your inner turmoil. It wasn’t his fault; you were just in a really shitty mood. “I’m sorry. It’s not my day today. Is it okay if we rain check? I promise I’ll make it up to you next week.”

Jungkook wasn’t used to seeing you this distraught. He wracked his brain on how to lift your spirit. “Hey, do you want to hear this math joke my friend Jin told me the other day? What do you call an angle that is adorable?”

The boy scrunched his nose adorably and waited for your response. He was really handsome, you noticed that back when you two first met. Back then you just didn’t have a reason to care. Back then you still had a boyfriend.

“I don’t know, tell me,” you answered.

“Acute angle!” he said with a timid smile.

Despite your foul mood you had to snort at his joke.

Jungkook’s smile grew wider. It wasn’t a full laugh, but at least your frown disappeared. He discovered early on that you had a soft spot for bad math puns.

Although he absolutely detested Statistical Analysis, he has come to enjoy your study sessions over the past couple of weeks. The TA of his class, Namjoon, was a close friend of Jungkook’s and a sunbae of yours. Once he discovered that his favorite dongsaeng was abysmal at reading a z-score table, he immediately referred him to you.

At first Jungkook was very reluctant to accept any help. He was a mechanical engineer for fuck’s sake! He calculated distributed load across uneven surfaces and directional derivatives all the time!

His inner protests died down during your first session when you unwittingly asked him if he was constipated while he tried to calculate the standard deviation. During your second session he noticed you liked to doodle small geometric and fractal comics on his work sheets whenever he was solving a problem.

‘What did the triangle say to the circle?’ ‘You’re pointless!’

By the time your third session rolled around he still hated statistics, but it was too late and he’d developed a hopeless crush on you. Your monologues about dead mathematicians and the beauty of an infinite series were oddly captivating. He didn’t think he’d ever met anyone who was so passionate and animated about anything in all his life.

“Is everything okay?” Jungkook asked carefully. You seemed tired and a bit wary. “I-I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it. Sorry, it’s none of my business,” he immediately added.

You smiled at his flustered state. Jungkook’s heart stumbled when your smile turned sad and you said, “No not really, but I’m sure I’ll be fine sooner or later.”

[13/04 19:12 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (large) 1 Jjajangmyeon 1 Jjajangbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim! Omg your tangsuyuk is the best! I could drown in that sauce! How is Tokki doing?

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 1 Jjajangmyeon -- 4,500 1 Jjajangbap -- 5,500

Total: 30,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Little Tokki is doing well and bravely guarding our store! Don’t drown, but here’s some extra sauce for you to enjoy. I asked for it to be without pineapple. Hwaiting!

“Yah! Why does it smell like rotten take-out in your bedroom?” Jisoo asked.

Scowling has become your new go-to expression. “Too soon. Just let me wallow in my self-pity and sorrow.”

If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought your friend was playing ‘The Floor Is Lava’ considering how gingerly she walked across your room. Safely on the other side, she ripped open a window to let some much needed fresh air in.

“I think you’re going to be wallowing in mold and fungus instead,” Jisoo commented with disgust. “Wallow all you want, I’m here to support you, girl. But I can’t allow you to turn your place into a biohazard zone. Isn’t your sister bothered by this?”

“My sister doesn’t care; our rooms are off limits to each other. As long as we both keep the common area clean, she won’t complain,” you said.

Jisoo sat down on your bed and patted the empty spot next to her. She immediately retracted her hand. “Eww, is that tangsuyuk sauce on your sheets?” she asked, completely appalled.

You shrugged and thumped onto your bed.

“So what are your plans for tonight?” she asked, trying to suppress a shudder.

“It’s Monday night. What plans could I possibly have?”

“We’re in college! Weekdays, weekends, they’re all the same!” your friend exclaimed. She looked at your sprawled-out figure. “I told you from the very beginning he wasn’t good for you. I know it doesn’t feel like this right now, but you’re lucky he’s out of your life. I really can’t watch you torture yourself over a jerk like him. Let’s go out to Hongdae!”

“I can’t go out. I already have plans.”

“Didn’t you just say you didn’t have any plans?”

“I lied. I have a date.”

Jisoo paused for a second, unsure how to respond. “Really? With whom?”

“Gong Yoo. We promised to kiss each other on first snowfall,” you responded listlessly.

“Yah!” Jisoo yelled and smacked your butt.

“Oww! What was that for?” you cried in surprise, rubbing the tender spot.

“Re-watching Goblin is not a date! You scared me for a second,” Jisoo said.

“How is it not a date? I meet a hot oppa, multiple hot oppas, we have dinner together, I giggle and blush and at the end of the night I get kissed to sleep.” You sat up and gave your friend a weary look. “I really don’t want to go out right now, but also don’t want to be on my own. Can’t we just stay in and watch a drama?” you asked with the saddest face you could muster.

Jisoo wanted to argue, but she couldn’t resist your pout. “Fine. But first you change your bedsheets, I’m not gonna sit in moldy tangsuyuk sauce all night. And I get to choose the drama.”

“Call!”

[16/04 17:58 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Kimchi Kimbap 1 Beef Kimbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim thanks for the extra sauce! It was delicious. Are you a dipper or a pourer?

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Kimchi Kimbap -- 2,500 1 Beef Kimbap -- 2,500 1 Soup -- 0

Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Personally, I’m a dipper, but I don’t discriminate! I added some broth as service for you. It’s chilly tonight. Don’t catch a cold!

Paper Note: JK-nim, let’s be friends? I’m also a dipper! Did you know that butterflies can’t fly when they’re cold? Here is one that I folded, sending back my warmest thoughts to you on this frosty spring night.

The first thing that caught your eye was Jungkook who was patiently waiting at the library entrance. Despite the steaming goods in his hands, his entire body was shivering. The temperature suddenly dropped last night, but he couldn’t be bothered to dig up his padded jacket when he left the house this morning.

Before you could even greet him, he shoved a hot milk tea towards you and mumbled, “Here, it’s cold today so I thought you could use something warm.”

You were surprised by this sweet gesture. “Thanks,” you reached for it and examined the drink in your hand, ”How did you know I like black milk tea?”

He ducked his head and mumbled something into himself.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

Jungkook lifted his head. His cheeks and nose were a lovely wash of pink from the cold. “You mentioned once that you’re an OG milk tea drinker, so I just guessed” he repeated again, louder. “I saw this bungeoppang cart on the way here. We can share them while studying?” he said, holding up a small paper bag.

Your heart warmed and for the first time in weeks your face split into big smile, “Sure, I love bungeoppang! We’re not allowed to eat inside the library. So how about we eat everything first before they get cold and then go in?”

The both of you took a seat on a bench. By now Jungkook definitely regretted being too lazy to find his jacket this morning, but he was determined not to let it show. He passed the bag full of bungeoppangs to you.

You happily reached for one of the fish-shaped pastries and started munching on it. Your face crinkled, steam came out of your mouth. Jungkook’s heart skipped as he watched you in fascination. Your cheeks were flushed. A sudden instinct to stroke your rosy skin overcame him. Instead he reached for a bungeoppang and took a careful bite. “Are you feeling better today?”

“A little bit,” you said between bites, “I’m really sorry about last time. I feel bad now. I ditched you and now you’re treating me to snacks.” You went on and stabbed your straw through your milk tea. “I should be the one treating you instead.”

“I like to treat you,” Jungkook said, mesmerized by the way your lips moved against the straw. He suddenly realized what he was doing and cleared his throat, “A happy teacher is a good teacher! You’re already spending your time tutoring me.”

A laugh slipped out of you, “Jungkook, you’re paying me for your lessons. But it’s okay, this bungeoppang and tea definitely hits the spot, so I’ll accept it with a grateful heart. What are you drinking?”

Jungkook looked down on his drink and gave it a shake, the black pearls swirled around buoyantly. “Banana milk tea, I prefer sweet drinks.”

You leaned back against the bench and looked up at the clear blue sky. “Sweet things are the best combat against the bitter taste of life,” you sighed. You closed your eyes and soaked in the crisp air. Jungkook felt your melancholy, he could warm your body, but he didn’t know how to warm your heart.

“Sorry that I’m bothering you with my personal stuff. It’s just that I had a really bad breakup recently. I shouldn’t let it affect our lessons,” you said with a wistful smile as you lifted your head again.

The boy next to you remained silent. You turned and saw a contemplative look on his face. “It’s alright, everyone can have a bad day,” he finally said, “You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. If you’re never angry or sad, you won’t know when you’re happy.”

His words stunned you. Has Jungkook always been this thoughtful? You turned away from his gaze and looked down at the pastry in your hand. “They’re rhombus shaped,” you muttered in an attempt of distraction and showed your bungeoppang to Jungkook. “The fish scales,” you added when he looked confused.

“Ah yeah, the scales. It’s actually erroneous since most of the bungeoppangs depict a ganoid scale structure when in fact carps have cycloid scales to allow for a greater flexibility,” Jungkook explained.

A blank look appeared on your face. Probably the same blank look he had whenever you tried to explain the Bayes’ theorem to him. He let out an awkward laugh, “We studied the mechanics of fish scale structures in Material Science. You can correlate the flexibility of a scaled surface depending on its underlying geometric structure and material. It’s pretty cool stuff.”

“I can’t believe you can geek out about the geometry of fish scales, but don’t know how to define your probability population,” you snorted in disbelief.

“Hey, when will I ever need to calculate the probability of two people with the same birthday in a room? I just have a hard time learning stuff I never have to apply,” he said defensively.

Then you suddenly had an idea. “Tell you what, how about this? If you pass your statistics final, I’ll treat you to the best Chinese take-out in town! You can order whatever you want!”

Jungkook didn’t want to dampen your excitement by telling you that his part-time job already allowed him to eat as much Chinese take-out as he wanted. “Okay, but don’t complain when you go broke. My record was five jjajangmyeon and two tangsuyuk in one sitting.”

You batted away his challenge. “First you have to pass your finals,” you teased.

“I’ll pass,” Jungkook said.

You smiled at his cute determination. “Then it’s a date.”

Jungkook beamed back at you. “It’s a date.”

[05/05 18:21 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (large) 2 Pork Mandu 1 Tteokkguk 1 Jjajangmyeon 1 Tteokkbokki ---------------- Note: No pineapple plz. JK-nim! Happy Children’s Day! For this special occasion I’ve decided to order all of my childhood favorites. Life is too short to eat bad food. I hope today you treat yourself to something delicious as well!

“Yah! JK! Your girlfriend placed an order again!” Yugyeom yelled across the store.

A mop of black hair peaked out from the back of the shop. “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s just a regular,” Jungkook yelled back.

“A regular you flirt with,” Yugyeom snickered, “I saw all the notes you left her in the system. ‘Don’t catch a cold!’, ‘Hwaiting!’ Don’t tell me that’s not your lame attempt at flirting.”

Suddenly an angry Yoongi stomped out of the kitchen. “Keep it down boys, we have guests here.”

Jungkook went up to the register and printed out the online order. “Hyung, can you make a large tangsuyuk without pineapple?”

“It’s a national holiday, there’s like two people here tonight,” Yugyeom muttered under his breath.

“What did you say, Yugyeom?”

“Nothing, hyung!”

Yoongi snatched the order out of Jungkook’s hand and gave both boys another irritated glance before he headed back into the kitchen.

“Hey JK,” Yugyeom said in a lower voice as he moved next to his friend, “aren’t you ever curious how LatteIsHorse is like? I mean, she must have some sense of humor judging by her username.”

“Sometimes. Don’t you ever wonder how our regulars are like? But it’s not like I’m ever gonna meet them or know it’s them when they come into the store,” Jungkook said with a shrug.

“You could though. Mingyu’s out on delivery, Eunwoo’s off so we have a free bike. The store is dead tonight. You could go deliver the order and have a look,” Yugyeom spurred him on.

Jungkook considered his friend’s suggestion. Every time he opened his locker a little origami bunny and butterfly stared back at him and brightened his day. It was true, he was curious how LatteIsHorse was like. “Okay I’ll go, but don’t pretend you’re doing me a favor. You just don’t want to do delivery tonight.”

A pretty girl in a Yonsei hoodie and shorts opened the door. She somehow looked familiar, but Jungkook couldn’t place from where. Maybe he met her on campus before.

“Delivery from Golden Bang,” Jungkook said, holding up his metal box.

“Ah great! I’m starving!” the girl said.

Jungkook started unloading the box and handed the dishes to the girl. Once he was done, he lingered awkwardly in the doorway. The girl gave him a curious look, clearly wondering why he wasn’t leaving. Jungkook gathered his courage and said, “I’m JK by the way.”

What followed was a beat of silence. Jungkook could feel his ears burn.

“Err, it’s nice to meet you, I guess? Is there anything else you need?” the girl asked after the painful pause. “Ah got it! Just a sec!” She ran into the apartment and came back with her wallet. “Here’s a tip, we’ll put the dishes back outside for pick up,” she said as she scrunched a bill into Jungkook’s hand, “Thanks for your hard work. Happy holiday!” And then she shut the door right into his face.

What just happened? Jungkook was stupefied. After an eternity he finally moved and mechanically pulled out his phone. He checked the delivery order on his app. LatteIsHorse – this was the address. She didn’t recognize him. Why was he so naive to believe that she would remember him? All he wanted in that moment was for the ground to open and swallow him up.

“Dinner’s here,” your sister said as you came out of the shower. “Did you order banana milk?”

“No? Why?” you joined her at the dinner table and started rummaging through the dishes. “Where’s the receipt?”

“I threw it in the trash,” she said. When she saw you opening up the trash can and fishing for it, she added, “Gross! What are you doing? Why do you need it?”

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 2 Pork Mandu -- 6,000 1 Tteokkguk -- 4,500 1 Jjajangmyeon -- 4,500 1 Tteokkbokki -- 3,000

Total: 38,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Happy Children’s Day to you too! I added my favorite childhood drink, banana milk! I hope it brings back as many happy childhood memories for you as it does for me.

There, sitting on the table, was a small bottle of banana milk. A smile spread across your face. “I need to file it away for tax purposes.”

Your sister looked at you like you were crazy. “Let’s eat already, I’m starving. Wash your hands.”

[14/05 16:55 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [TAKE AWAY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Jjajangbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim, hope you’re doing well. I’m in the area today, so I thought I’d stop by and say hello in person! Is it weird that I feel a bit nervous?

The restaurant door wasn’t going to open itself. The past 15 minutes of you standing in front of it has proven that. You had some errands to run in Hongdae after school and decided on a whim to place a pickup order at your favorite take-out place.

Why was it so difficult to enter a restaurant? If you steeled your nerves any more, they’d probably break from how brittle they’ve become. You just had to open that damn door.

Sometimes you wondered if you liked that place more because of its great tangsuyuk or because of JK’s little notes which always managed to put a smile on your face.

One thing was for sure, you weren’t stalling because of the tangsuyuk.

“Welcome to Golden Bang!” a bright male voice rang across the restaurant as you passed through the door.

You walked up to the register and sneaked a peek at the boy’s name tag, ‘Yugyeom’. You felt a slight twinge of disappointment.

“I’m here to pick up my order? LatteIsHorse?” you asked tentatively.

A sign of recognition flashed across Yugyeom’s face. “Of course, your order’s ready! I’ll just bag it up for you,” he said cheerfully. He walked away and quickly came back with a white plastic bag full of food. Then he printed out your receipt and handed both to you.

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: YG ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Jjajangbap -- 5,500

Total: 18,500 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

You looked around the restaurant, it was empty since dinnertime was still a while away. You wondered if Yugyeom was managing the store alone right now. At least the cook must be in. “Your tangsuyuk is really delicious. It’s probably my favorite.”

Yugyeom gave you a big smile, “Happy to hear that you enjoy our food so much. The tangsuyuk is our chef’s family recipe. It’s one of our most popular menu items!”

You wringed your hands and finally decided to bite the bullet and straight out ask, “Is JK here? He usually takes my orders when I order delivery, so I just wanted to say hi.”

“JK’s shift doesn’t start until 6, so he should be here in about half an hour. If you want, I can relay a message,” he said with a knowing smile, “Or you can also take a seat and wait for him. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to meet you.”

No way you were going to sit here for half an hour and wait up for a stranger. “Ah no, that’s alright. If you could just say hi from me, that’d be great,” you quickly replied with a flush. JK would probably think you’re a creepy stalker.

“Sure, can do! Enjoy your day!” Yugyeom said merrily as you walked out the store.

A feeling of both relief and sadness passed through you. You slowly walked down the busy streets of Hongdae as you reprimanded yourself for being so stupid. What were you going to say to JK anyway if you met him? Thanks for being nice to me? You’re the reason I don’t burst into tears every single night? You’re the reason why I don’t feel completely alone when I’m sobbing into my food over Song Joong Ki’s acting? Thanks for making me gain 3 kilos in the last month?

Whatever you said, it would’ve only made you sound pathetic.

A crippling wave of desperation suddenly washed over you and rooted you in your tracks. A single tear rolled down your face. Then another. You dropped down into a crouch and started to bawl. You couldn’t fathom how you’ve reached this all-time low in your life. Why did you feel so incredibly sad about being stood up by a stranger? Especially when that stranger didn’t even know you were coming?

“Y/N?” an alarmed voice asked. You looked up when you felt a soft shake against your shoulder.

Through your tear-blurred eyes you recognized Jungkook’s face. He crouched down next to you and asked, “Is everything okay? Are you hurt?”

You shook your head and tried to wipe away your tears. It was a useless attempt as they kept on streaming down your face.

Jungkook hesitantly pushed your hair out of your face and asked, “Do you want to go somewhere else so you can tell me what happened?”

You gave him an imperceptible nod.

His hand gently moved down to your arm, afraid that you were going to push him away. With a steady grip he slowly helped you back onto your feet. Then he slid his hand through yours and led you down the hustle and bustle of Hongdae until you ended up in front of a convenience store located in one of the quieter residential side streets. He sat you down in a plastic chair and told you to wait. After a while he came back with a packet of tissues, a bottle of water and two red bean popsicles.

You gratefully took the tissues and loudly blew your nose. A small part of your brain told you to act more ladylike, especially in front of Jungkook, but the bigger part didn’t really care and just wanted to drag you back down into the pits of loneliness. A strangled sound came out of your mouth as you started to hiccup, making you sound like a drowning cat.

You expected Jungkook to laugh at your weird orchestra of emotions. Even you found it absurd and would’ve laughed if you weren’t already crying and hiccupping at the same time. But all he did was quietly open the water bottle and hand it to you.

As soon as you lifted the bottle to your mouth another hiccup made you almost spill the water on yourself. You held your breath for a few seconds and then took a careful sip. It seemed to work. You took a bigger sip, when another hiccup racked your body and you squeezed water all over your face.

There was a bewildering moment of shock, then you started to laugh deliriously. Forget before, this was your lowest point in life. This was so pathetic that it was hilarious again. Your laughter garbled whenever you hiccupped, only causing you to laugh even harder. You would’ve continued laughing for another long minute if you weren’t choking for air.

A small smile played around Jungkook’s mouth. He took another tissue and started wiping down your face. You hiccupped under his touch. He must think you’re a nutcase.

“I have a question. We have to do some statistical testing in my Quality Management class. What would a hypothesis look like if I wanted to analyze any deviation in a spare parts production line due to temperature conditions?” Jungkook asked.

Did he really forget hypothesis testing already? He finally managed to get it after four sessions! You frowned slightly. “You could set up a null hypothesis stating that a variation in temperature does not significantly impact the parameter of measurement in your production line. Jungkook did you seriously forget this?!” you said indignantly.

Jungkook gave you a playful laugh, “No, I think you drilled it so hard into my brain, I could probably recite all variables of the standard deviation formula if you woke me up in the middle of the night. Your hiccups stopped though.”

They did.

Embarrassment set in as you realized your predicament. Maybe your hormones were going crazy, maybe you were going crazy. You were getting whiplash from the emotional roller coaster you were on. In an attempt to hide your disgrace, you picked up another tissue and wiped away the remaining water, snot and tears.

There was tangible awkwardness in the air.

“I hope you like red bean,” Jungkook said shyly as he unwrapped a popsicle, “Red bean is my favorite. My friends keep on calling me old fashioned, but it just reminds me of the time when my mom used to buy me these after taekwondo class. I think I liked the popsicles more than I liked going to class.” He sighed in reverie and held up the popsicle for you.

You stared at his hand. You remembered how it felt against yours just a few moments ago. Firm, warm and steady. Then you looked up at Jungkook. He hid it well, but you could tell that there was concern behind his encouraging smile.

“This is so embarrassing,” you said as you accepted the popsicle and turned your head away from him, “I don’t know what is wrong with me right now. I’m usually not like this.”

“Did something happen earlier?” Jungkook asked cautiously as he unwrapped his own popsicle and took a bite out of it.

Did something happen earlier? Why did you cry? Where you really crying just because you didn’t meet JK?

“No,” you said and slowly shook your head, “I don’t know. I just suddenly felt overwhelmed.”

Jungkook hesitated before he asked, “Are you sad because of your breakup?”

Were you sad because of your ex-boyfriend?

“I don’t think so. In the beginning when we broke up I was devastated, but I don’t think that’s the case anymore,” you said more to yourself than to Jungkook. “Everyone told me I was lucky to be rid of him. I really didn’t understand why. But I think it’s becoming clearer now. Maybe it’s not sadness. Maybe it’s fear. I think I just feel lost. I don’t know who I am anymore. Maybe it scares me to know that I was able to lose myself and I don’t know if I can find a way back.”

Before you knew it, you spilled your heart, your deepest and darkest fears to Jungkook. You barely knew this boy, yet it still felt oddly comforting. He remained quiet and listened.

“I wanted to meet someone today, but they weren’t there,” you continued, “I think in that moment I just realized how utterly lost I was on my own.”

Jungkook searched for the appropriate words. How do you respond to someone’s most vulnerable thoughts? “I mean you know what they say. It’s not about how much you’ve lost, it’s about how much you have left.”

He peeked at you to check if it worked.

“Jungkook, did you just quote Iron Man at me?” you asked incredulously before a giggle slipped from your lips.

You noticed how his cheeks dimpled when he gave you an embarrassed laugh, “Sorry, I was trying to say something that would cheer you up. I’m probably not doing a very good job.”

In that second you realized how kind-hearted Jungkook actually was. Your heart squeezed. “Don’t say that. Thanks for listening to my problems. And thanks for the red bean popsicle. I also ate this a lot in my childhood. Mainly because my sister hated them. She always used to steal my ice cream out of the freezer so at some point I asked my parents to only buy me red bean popsicles. She never touched those,” you reminisced.

Jungkook laughed at your story, “Your sister sounds like a piece of work.”

“We used to fight a lot, we used to never get along,” you became thoughtful, “At some point that stopped. I think we just grew up and grew to understand and accept our differences. She doesn’t steal my food anymore. I don’t steal her clothes anymore. We may not always agree, but we respect each other’s decisions.”

“You know, for someone who just said she feels lost, you sound pretty self-reflected right now,” Jungkook mused, “Maybe you need to do the same as you did with your sister. Understand yourself and accept the differences of your past and present.”

You paused at this. He was right. You were so desperately trying to fend off these negative emotions that you never took the time to actually think. You were chasing an image that never existed. Not in the past nor in the present.

“You’re surprisingly good at giving advice. Thanks, Jungkook,” you said.

“Surprisingly? What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, offended. The glint in his eyes gave his teasing away.

Laughter pealed from you. Jungkook was captivated by the sound. He drank in the way your eyes creased with mirth and followed your fingers as they brushed back your hair.

Jungkook’s phone vibrated. “Oh shit!”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I was actually on my way to work and my boss is asking me where I am,” he said as he stuffed his phone back in his pocket.

Jungkook startled when you suddenly jumped up. “Then you should get to work! You should’ve said something sooner. I’m so sorry for keeping you here!”

“No, it’s really fine. I’ve done enough overtime. He won’t complain if I’m a few minutes late,” he said, “Are you feeling better?”

You ignored his question and pushed against his shoulders to get him out of the chair. “Go to work, Jungkook. I’ll be fine, your red bean popsicle did wonders,” you responded placatively.

When he still didn’t move, you grabbed his arm and pulled him back onto the main street. Jungkook’s skin scorched under your touch. “Go to work, Jungkook,” you said again with more emphasis.

“Are you sure…?” he asked, unwilling to let you out of his sight before he knew you weren’t just going cry again at the next street corner.

“I won’t burst into tears,” you said as if reading his mind. “You were right, I need to reconcile with myself. So I’ll go home, enjoy my dinner and think about who I am and who I want to be. And you,” you said giving him another gentle shove, “need to go to work.”

Jungkook saw the stubborn look on your face. He wondered if you realized you were using your teaching voice right now. You weren’t going to take no for an answer. “Okay fine, text me when you get home?”

You waved away his concerns. “Sure. Go already,” you said with a big reassuring smile. “See you tomorrow at school!” you added before you turned around and walked away.

“You’re late,” Yugyeom said as soon as Jungkook entered the store.

Jungkook gave Yugyeom a sheepish look and only muttered, “Yeah sorry, something came up on my way here.” Then he rushed past him to the back of the restaurant and changed into his uniform.

Once he came back out he noticed Yugyeom throwing him strange looks.

“What?”

“Your girlfriend says hi,” Yugyeom said with a hint of amusement.

“Who?”

Yugyeom gave Jungkook a meaningful look, “LatteIsHorse. She ordered pick up. I think she was hoping to meet you. She’s cute. She looks like she’s probably a college student around here.”

“I know,” was all Jungkook replied.

Yugyeom’s eyes bulged in curiosity, “You know? You know she’s cute or you know she’s a student? You never told me what actually happened that night!”

Jungkook gave him a tired look and said, “She didn’t recognize me. She wore a Yonsei hoodie, so I guess she goes there. Nothing else happened.”

“Hmm, that’s weird. She was asking for you today, so she definitely knows your name,” Yugyeom said.

“Who knows, maybe she was having a lot on her plate that day,” Jungkook said with a shrug. He wondered where you lived and if you already got home safely. “Why are you obsessing over this so much?”

“Man, do you know how painful it is to watch your sorry attempts at flirting? I’m just trying to help you out, mate,” Yugyeom quipped.

“I wasn’t flirting! I was just trying cheer someone up who was obviously feeling down! It’s called being a decent human being,” Jungkook exclaimed.

Yugyeom gave him the side eye, “Yeah, that’s still not gonna get you laid.”

[19/05 18:47 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Bibimbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I visited you at the store last week, but you weren’t there. TT-TT I hope you don’t think I’m weird, I just really like talking to you. You always manage to put a smile on my face when I’m having a hard day. We’re still friends, right?

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Bibimbap -- 5,000

Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! I’m sad that I missed your visit to our store. I’ll try harder the next time! I added some extra bulgogi to make up for it. :) Of course we’re still friends. I don’t wish any hard days upon you, but I’m glad to hear that my words have a healing effect. In case you ever need a friend to talk to, feel free to talk to me. 010-1234-5678.

The study sessions with Jungkook continued per usual. He still struggled and had frustrated outbursts from time to time, especially when you forced him to revise probability distributions. When you finally reached regression analysis, things became easier.

Although your sessions remained the same, something in your dynamic changed. The both of you became looser and more playful around each other. He wouldn’t clamp up anymore and you felt more at ease around him. You became friends. He never once mentioned that disasterous afternoon.

At home, on the evening of the incident, you shot Jungkook a text and slumped down on the couch. Your sister was out that night, so it was just you in the apartment. Normally, the eerie quiet would’ve unsettled you and you would’ve distracted yourself from your deafening thoughts. But that night you just let them scream, yell and tear at you.

It was an excruciating process, but in the end your head was clearer, your heart calmer. You still weren’t quite there yet, but at least you made a first step out of the endless pit of desperation.

There were other things you noticed about yourself. Gradually you realized you didn’t mind being on your own anymore. You rediscovered your love for drawing and created you own mandala art. You also learned to code your own website and now had a clickable version of your cv on the go. Although you made time for yourself, you weren’t a hermit. You went out for drinks with Jisoo and soon asked Namjoon to take you along to your university’s Math Club. There you met a lot of familiar faces that you’ve encountered in class but never talked to. With them you spent animated evenings discussing stimulating math problems and exchanging incredibly bad math puns.

You also started noticing things about Jungkook. He wasn’t as timid and shy as you initially thought. Once he got over his awkwardness, he turned out to be quite a cheeky and goofy guy. He teased you or told you silly jokes whenever you were on a break. Despite his obvious aversion for statistics, he still took your lessons very seriously. Diligently listening to your explanations and trying to solve the problems to the best of his abilities. His study-mode showed you other sides of him. The cute pout he had whenever he tried to hide his confusion. Or the two little ridges which formed between his eyes whenever he was concentrated and deep in thought. More often than not you fought the urge to smooth them out with your touch or even better, with a kiss.

“Is something wrong?” Jungkook asked when he caught you staring.

“No,” you quickly said, “I was just thinking that you don’t seem to have much trouble with regression analysis.”

“I don’t know, the relationship between the variables just makes much more sense,” Jungkook said.

You looked at him and considered, “Hmm, maybe you don’t need my tutoring anymore?”

Brief dismay crossed Jungkook’s face. “My finals are in three weeks. I think I’d still prefer if you helped me revise the earlier chapters,” he said, “Unless you need more time to study for your own finals.”

Being in college meant that you were always in dire need of more time. That constant nagging voice in the back of your head telling you to study was an occupational disease. But you didn’t have to kid yourself, those four hours a week spent on Jungkook weren’t going to make or break your grade. Besides, you enjoyed spending time with him. You wondered if he felt the same.

“It’s alright, I’ll help you revise. Just don’t embarrass me on your finals. I don’t want Namjoon to tell me afterwards that you didn’t manage to calculate the mean of the population or worse, read the scoring table upside down,” you teased him light-heartedly.

Jungkook’s ears turned bright red. “That happened once!” he said, “How long are you going to hold that over my head?”

You laughed at his indignation. “Don’t forget, you’ll get endless tangsuyuk if you pass.”

[26/05 20:09 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Jjamppong ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I’d like to get the advice of a friend. There’s this kind, sweet boy that I really like. I would like to tell him how I feel, but he’s seen me in my lowest and ugliest moments. Maybe he’ll think I’m just baggage? I guess I’m afraid of his rejection.

Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong

Server: JK ------------------- TO GO

1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Jjamppong -- 5,000 1 Soju -- 0

Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!

Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! It’s only human to fear rejection. I can completely understand. I also have someone I really like. She’s really pretty, smart and funny. Spending time with her makes me really happy, but I never managed to tell her. Maybe we should both gather our courage and cheer each other on? I’m not saying that drunken confessions are the way to go but consider this soju a symbolism for (liquid) courage.

Paper Note: This is a flexagon. Whenever you need a word of encouragement give it a flip!

Jungkook examined the hexagonal origami in his hands. On the outside it read ‘Flip Me!’

He gave the flexagon a flip. ‘JK you’re the best!’ And another. ‘The world needs more people like you!’ And another. ‘Don’t forget that LatteIsHorse is always rooting for you!’ And another. ‘Aja, aja, hwaiting!’ And another. ‘Thank you for being my friend!’

Jisoo barged into you room and flopped onto your bed. ‘Ahhh! I’m so glad you finally cleaned in here. Seriously, if I find another rancid noodle stuck to my clothes, I’ll call in a hazmat team.”

“I don’t know why you’re complaining so much. It’s not even your room,” you said.

“Hey, where are you ever going to find a friend like me?”

Your friend sacrificed many a night away from college parties to binge watch handsome oppas sweep equally beautiful unnies off their feet with you. And she wasn’t shy telling you that.

“Let’s go out tonight,” Jisoo suggested. She rolled back onto her feet and started walking around, inspecting your cleaning job.

“Our finals start in two weeks; I really don’t want to spend my weekend nursing a hangover.”

“I’m not saying you have to get wasted. Tonight is the Pre-Game Night. We have to go!” Jisoo demanded.

The Final’s Pre-Game Night was a campus-wide tradition. Every semester on the Friday a week before finals huge parties were thrown to signal the beginning of the end. It was like a dare – were you confident enough to get completely drunk and still hope to pass your finals? Naturally everybody on campus joined in and drank.

“Not getting wasted at a Pre-Game party? That’s like saying you’ve decided you don’t need to breathe. I really don’t think…”

“What’s this?” Jisoo suddenly interrupted. “LatteIsHorse-nim! Personally, I’m a dipper, but I don’t discriminate! I added some broth as service for you. It’s chilly tonight. Don’t catch a cold!” she read aloud, “LatteIsHorse-nim! Happy Children’s Day to you too! I added my favorite childhood drink, banana milk! I hope it brings back as many happy childhood memories for you as it does for me.”

You flung yourself across the room and almost tripped over your own feet trying to rip the receipts out of Jisoo’s hands.

“Oh. My. God. Is your take-out guy flirting with you?!” she asked.

“No! He’s just a friend. We send encouraging notes to each other,” you tried to explain.

Jisoo threw her hands in the air. “Okay that’s it! We’re going to the Pre-Game party, whether you want or not. You can’t tell me that the only flirting interaction you have is with a stranger who delivers you tangsuyuk!”

The place Jisoo picked out was ram packed and buzzing with energy. It was an open dorm party; all the common rooms were transformed into dancefloors. Different types of music played from each corner of the building. Crates of alcohol were stacked against the walls.

The both of you grabbed a beer and made your way through the crowd.

“You’re going to have fun tonight, alright?”

“I don’t think this works that way,” you laughed.

“Then put some effort into it. We look way too cute for it to go to waste,” she said as you roamed around the floors and explored the different areas. You looked down on your dress. It was a pretty warm night; you had opted for a flowy summer dress with a blush pink floral pattern. Jisoo was right, it was cute.

You discovered a familiar face at the edge of the crowd. “Sunbae!” you said.

Namjoon turned around gave you a surprised smile. “Y/N! Out of all the places on campus, we meet each other here tonight. What are the chances?”

He was surrounded by a group of friends, you spotted Jungkook right behind him. The boy gave you an excited wave. A slow smile spread across your face. “I don’t know, but why don’t we ask Jungkook to calculate it for you?”

Namjoon let out a hearty laugh while Jungkook groaned in exasperation.

“Do you see what I have to put up with every week, hyung?”

“Didn’t you just say it’s the best thing that happened to you?” Namjoon taunted, “You have some nerve showing up in front of me tonight. You better ace your SA finals. Do you know how many favors I had to pull to get Y/N to tutor you?”

“What do you expect me to do?” Jungkook sputtered, “Go home and lock myself up on Pre-Game Night?”

If it weren’t for Jisoo you would’ve done just that. Speaking of Jisoo, your friend cleared her throat and gave you a painful nudge in the side.

“Ah yes, uhm, Jisoo you already know Namjoon. This is Jungkook. You know, the guy I’m tutoring.”

Jungkook gave her a small wave.

Jisoo didn’t even try to hide her amazement. “This is Jungkook? But you’re like wayyy cute!” She turned to you and added still loud enough for everyone to hear, “Why didn’t you tell me he was cute?!”

The embarrassment was obvious on Jungkook’s face. You could tell that Namjoon was getting a rush out of his dongsaeng’s reaction and before he could provoke him any further you decided to jump in.

“Who wants to go dance?” you asked loudly. You turned around and headed to the dancefloor without waiting for any of them to respond.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were tutoring a hunk?” Jisoo muttered under her breath.

“He’s not a hunk. Don’t call him that.”

“Yeah but he’s hot. You made him sound like he was a nerd.”

“He is a nerd.”

Your friend gave you a glare, “Why are we arguing about this? I know you’re not that oblivious.”

Of course you weren’t oblivious to Jungkook, but you weren’t going to tell Jisoo that.

“Let’s dance.” You grabbed Jisoo’s hand and twirled her around.

Namjoon and his friends joined you on the dancefloor. The mood of the crowd was electric. Music pulsed through your veins. Drinks flowed, shots were downed, people pulled out their best, lamest, craziest dance moves. Everyone celebrated like the world was going to end.

After a while you became hot and needed a new drink. You looked around for Jisoo and saw her grinding up against one of Namjoon’s friends. She’d be busy for a while. You inconspicuously moved away from the group and decided to go get some fresh air.

“Wait up,” Jungkook said as he appeared next to you, “are you getting something to drink? I’ll join you.”

His dark curls were slightly matted with sweat. His baggy t-shirt clung to his body. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or Jisoo’s damn voice whispering into your ear. He was hot.

You circled your arm through his and pulled him through the crowd. His muscles shifted under your touch. You grabbed two drinks from a crate and handed one to Jungkook, your nerves tingled when his hand brushed against yours. The both of you remained in comfortable silence, leisurely walking through the dorm, neither of you in a hurry to get back to your friends. You explored the facility areas, weaving through pounding and quiet parts of the building.

“You look really nice tonight,” he said after a while.

The heels of your shoes echoed against marble floor of the dark hallway. “Thanks, Jisoo raided my closet.”

“She’s really something isn’t she?”

“She’s the best. I’m grateful to have her as my friend.”

Somewhere further down the hallway you made out two figures pressed against the wall, probably trying to find a quiet place of their own.

“You also look nice,” you said to Jungkook.

“I’m wearing the same things I always do,” Jungkook said, his voice turning shy.

You were getting closer to the couple. You could see how the guy was sticking his tongue down the girl’s throat. She seemed to enjoy it from the sounds she was making. Lucky them.

Your next words were definitely fuelled by your tipsy state, “I guess that means you always look nice.” Jungkook missed a step. You had to laugh at his blunder.

The couple in front of you broke apart and looked in your direction. More annoyed about being interrupted rather than embarrassed being caught. You were about to make a funny comment to Jungkook when your heart stopped and you froze.

A string of saliva still clung to the guy’s lips. His eyes widened when he recognized your face in the darkness. “Y/N?”

Your breath hitched and your grip tightened around Jungkook’s arm. He glanced between you and the guy, the situation slowly dawning on him.

“Why did you stop? Who’s that?”, the girl whined.

“No one,” the guy responded as he returned his attention to her and they started making out again.

Jungkook didn’t know if he wanted to puke or punch that guy. A sharp pain in his arm brought him back to his senses. Your nails dug into his skin. He put his hand around yours and loosened your iron grip.

“Let’s go,” he said and quickly pulled you past the couple. You followed him in a daze. He stopped once you were outside of the building, hidden away in a quiet corner.

His hands reached for your face and he lifted your eyes to his. “Breathe.”

You closed your eyes, let out a long breath and let your head fall against the wall behind you. The horrible encounter replayed in your mind. You had to open your eyes again.

There he was right in front of you. Worried Jungkook, kind Jungkook, beautiful Jungkook.

Your hands reached behind his neck and you pulled him a bit closer. You tried to decipher his gaze, it was dark and yearning. Everything was a haze, the alcohol in your blood made you daring.

“Kiss me,” you whispered.

His mouth crashed against yours. Your hands slipped up into his hair and your bodies entwined. You opened your lips and sucked in his hot breath. Your tongues found each other; he groaned at your taste.

He moved one of his hands down your side until he found purchase on your leg and hitched it up against his waist, pressing his body further into you. You let out a moan when his hips ground into yours.

All your senses drowned in Jungkook. You drowned in his scent, you drowned in his touch, you drowned in his heat. You tried to use Jungkook to drown out the grotesque image from before. Suddenly the heat of the moment disappeared, and a cold shower ran down your spine.

You broke away from your breathless kiss and put your hands against Jungkook’s chest to put some distance between you. He gave you a disoriented look.

“I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have kissed.”

Jungkook’s eyes grew wide and alarmed. “Did I do something wrong?”

His lips were swollen, his hair was mussed. You wanted nothing more than to pull him back in, but you couldn’t. Not here. Not like this. He deserved better.

You pushed yourself off the wall and gave him a small shove. He immediately let go of you and stepped back. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like this,” was all you said before you ran back into the building.

The next day you woke up to a splitting headache and a heart full of regret. You really needed to talk to Jungkook and explain to him why you ran away the previous night, but you were too much of a coward to pick up your phone and contact him. You decided it was better to talk to him in person at school.

The following week at school you waited for him in the library. Your heart was in your throat. Your prepared speech played in an endless loop in your head.

‘I’m sorry I ran away. I shouldn’t have kissed you in that state. It wasn’t fair to you. You deserve better than that.’

You looked down on your phone to check the time. A message blinked. You opened and read through it. Your heart sank. He wasn’t coming. He wanted to study the last week before finals on his own. He thanked you for your time.

Slowly you got up and packed your bag. You blew it. You wanted to do him right, but you only caused him pain. Thinking back, you realized he gave and gave and gave and all you did was take. He was right to stay away from you. There was no way he’d be happy with someone like you.

The week passed and finals week commenced. You immersed yourself in your exams and tried to get over your heavy heart. You were pretty sure you aced Geometry II, but the Numerical Analysis exam was nothing but a blur.

Although your heart ached, you didn’t fall back into the same dark pit of the past. You didn’t feel lost, you got on with your life. Nobody noticed the Jungkook-sized hole in your heart except for you. You wanted to talk about your feelings, but you didn’t think Jisoo or your sister would understand. They’d probably just tell you to get out there and find a new guy.

Another week passed. You were walking out of your professor’s office, finalizing the details of your summer internship, when you bumped into Namjoon.

“Y/N! What are you doing here? Aren’t you off for summer break yet?” he asked.

“I was just discussing my internship with Prof. Kim,” you said.

“Ah you’re participating in his research program?” Namjoon said, “I heard it’s really interesting, he’s intense though.”

“I think intense is fine for me, I need something to do with my brain. Otherwise I’ll just go crazy,” you said with a smile.

“Speaking of intense, what did you do to that kid?” Namjoon suddenly asked.

You tensed. Did something happen to Jungkook? “What do you mean?”

“Did you brainwash him or something? He got a 98 on his SA final! When I handed him over to you, he was still asking me why the positive and negative z-scores tables had different values,” Namjoon said in awe.

Relief washed through you and your chest filled with pride. “Watch out sunbae, I might be coming for your TA position,” you said with a wink.

At home you sprawled out on the couch. Your sister’s classes ended earlier than yours so now she was away with her friends travelling the countryside. Your mind wandered as you stared up at the ceiling of your quiet apartment. You really wanted to call Jungkook and congratulate him, but you didn’t think you should. He clearly didn’t want to be in contact with you, you hadn’t heard anything from him since his text canceling your study sessions.

A pang of sadness washed through you. It should have been a happy moment for the both of you, you should be eating tangsuyuk together right now. You really wanted to tell someone about your joy and your grief.

Then you suddenly remembered your friend. Your friend who never judged and always had something wise to say. Maybe he would understand the conflicts of your heart. You got up and dug through the receipts on your desk until you found the one with his phone number on it.

You hoped he wouldn’t think you were crazy, but then again, he was the one who offered himself to talk to you any time. You typed in the number and hit call. Your phone dialed when suddenly the number displayed switched to a name. Jungkook.

You quickly hit the cancel button and stared at your phone. Did you accidentally hit Jungkook’s contact? Was your phone broken? This time you typed in the number more carefully and hit call. Again, the display switched to Jungkook’s name. You hit cancel.

Your heart began to race. You opened up Jungkook’s contact and compared it with the number on the receipt.

Holy shit.

JK was Jungkook. Jungkook was JK.

The stranger who cheered you on and made you smile whenever you felt down was Jungkook. You combed through all your receipts and reread them one by one. What was the probability for this to happen? This was so bizarre, but it made so much sense. Jungkook was the kindest person you knew. Why wouldn’t he be kind to a stranger who needed some uplifting words and comforting tangsuyuk?

[13/06 18:20 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]

3 Tangsuyuk (large) 6 Jjajangmyeon ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I hope you’re doing well! Can I ask you for a strange favor? Would you mind delivering today’s order to me? I would really like to meet you and thank you in person for always being by my side! <3

The doorbell rang. Your heart pounded painfully in your chest. You slowly walked up to the door and opened it.

“Delivery from Golden…,” Jungkook’s voice faltered.

“Hi JK-nim,” you said quietly. You opened the door wider. “Thanks for coming today.”

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” he asked.

You had to smile at his look of utter confusion. “I live here. Come in, you can put the food on the dining table.” You turned around and walked back into the apartment.

Jungkook hesitated before he followed you inside. He moved up to the table and unloaded his box. He tried to steady himself. “You’re LatteIsHorse-nim?” he asked skeptically, “I’ve been here before. Last time someone else opened the door.”

He has visited you before? “Oh, that was probably my sister. I live here with her. She’s out travelling right now.”

“So you’re on your own right now? Why did you order so much food?” he asked. A giant mountain of neatly stacked dishes graced the table.

You came up and pried the metal box out of his hand. Then you moved in front of him and unclasped his bike helmet. He flinched at your sudden closeness.

“To celebrate. Congratulations on passing your Statistical Analysis exam. Namjoon told me you passed in flying colors,” you said in a gentle voice. “I promised you the best Chinese take-out in town, didn’t I?”

Jungkook still looked shell-shocked and simply stared at you.

“I’m sorry about that night at the Pre-Game party. I’m sorry I ran away. I owe you an explanation.”

Jungkook regained his wits and swallowed. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself. I get it, we were drunk. It was a mistake.” He looked down and tried to turn back around.

You grabbed onto his hands before he could move away. “Jungkook, look at me.”

He stopped turning, but his eyes remained on the floor.

You took a deep breath and squeezed his hands. “I really like you. I’ve really liked you for a while now.”

His eyes shot up to your face.

“The reason why I ran away that night was because I felt guilty. I probably would’ve ended up kissing you anyway, but in that moment, I kissed you because I wanted to forget. I didn’t want our first kiss to be like that. I wanted it to be the me who liked you and not the me who tried to drown out her shitty ex-boyfriend. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

There was an unreadable look in his eyes. Your heart fluttered in nervousness. “How long have you known I was JK? How long did you know I had a crush on you?” he asked.

You could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the butterflies in your stomach beat like crazy. “Since today. I was sad because I thought I couldn’t share the promised meal with you. I wanted a friend to talk to, so I thought to call you. You who was always kind to me, even when I wasn’t kind to myself. Isn’t fate strange? We cheered each other on to find each other.” You had to laugh at the irony of it all.

Your hand hesitantly moved up to his face and stroked across his cheek, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I made you sad.”

Jungkook melted against your touch. “If I’m never sad, I won’t know when I’m happy.” Then he closed the gap and pressed his lips against yours.

It was a sweet but sad kiss. Filled with happiness and sorrow. Every touch was filled with an ‘I missed you’ or an ‘I’m sorry’.

Jungkook pressed you against the edge of your dining table, he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You both deepened your kiss. Your hands snaked through his hair and pulled him closer into you. Jungkook braced his hands against the table and instinctively ground his hips against your core. You moaned his name at the sensation. The both of you broke apart to catch your breaths, you pulled at his jacket and removed his layers of clothing.

You stilled at the sight of his bare chest. He was truly beautiful. Your fingers traced along his skin and marvelled at its silkiness. Jungkook shuddered under your touch. His hands moved under your shirt and you both lifted it off your head. Then you gripped his hands and slowly led them around your back, urging him to take off your bra. You wriggled out of your jeans and laid yourself completely bare in front of him. Jungkook stopped and stared at you, equally amazed.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

Your heart swelled and you pulled him back into a kiss. Both his kisses and his hands left a burning trail down your body. His mouth sucked on the soft skin of your neck while his hands moved across your breast, across your stomach, lower and lower. Wetness gathered between your legs.

“Jungkook,” you sighed. The muscles of his back shifted under your touch.

He released your neck with a loud smack and looked at the artwork he created. He still couldn’t get over how overwhelmingly beautiful you were. Your cheeks flushed, eyes bright and his name at the tip of your tongue. He felt himself strain against his confines.

“Please,” you whimpered. You looked down at his hand and tried to silently command him to touch you.

He kept his eyes trained on your face when his fingers moved lower and slid through your folds. Another moan left your lovely lips. He teased you with his touches, gathering your wetness until he finally pushed down where you wanted him most. Your hands dug into his back, your hips bucked, and you threw your head back in pleasure. He steadied your hips with his other hand and slowly pushed a finger inside of you. Another loud moan echoed through the room.

Jungkook was transfixed by you. He added a second finger and started pushing in and out. Your eyes squeezed shut in pleasure and small breathless pants left your mouth. Jungkook increased the speed of his movement and marvelled at the way you reacted under his touch. Then he moved his mouth to your breast and closed his lips around your nipple. You raked your hands through his hair and arched into him. Your core tightened around his fingers. All your nerves were on fire.

You pulled him away from your breast and guided his mouth back to yours. Your tongue traced his lips and you swallowed his moan. You wanted more, you wanted him closer. His fingers curled and his thumb pressed down on you. Jungkook held you tight as you shuddered and fell apart around him.

He rested his forehead against yours, your breath mingled as you both panted into each other. He slowly removed his hand from you and traced his mouth with his slicked fingers, then he moved them to your lips. Your tongue licked the tips of his fingers. His grip tightened around your waist.

“I want to feel you,” you said.

Jungkook shuddered at your words. “Where is your room?”

“The door behind you.”

Jungkook lifted you off the table, you tightened your legs around him and gave him another kiss. He walked you both to your room and gently laid you down on your bed. He took off his pants, then slowly moved onto the bed and hovered above you.

“Tell me what you want,” he said.

Your fingers caressed his face. “I want you to be happy.”

Another shudder ran through him. “I am happy. What else?”

You traced his eyes, his nose, his lips. “I want to be the one making you happy.”

Jungkook couldn’t contain himself anymore. His heart felt like it was about to explode. He covered your body with his and pressed himself into you. Your eyes rolled back as he entered you slowly. You felt so full you wanted to burst out of your skin. You could feel how the Jungkook-sized whole in your heart filled up again.

He rocked into you and took your breath away. Your nails raked across his back and left red lines against his smooth skin. Jungkook ducked his head into the crook of your neck and moaned against your skin. Every pull dragged pleasure out of you, every push brought you closer together.

You wanted more. Jungkook gave you more.

You wanted him closer. Jungkook pushed deeper into you.

With every moan, Jungkook pushed harder, pushed deeper. He wanted to melt into you. He wanted the lines between you and him to disappear. Your desire was his desire. His pleasure was your pleasure.

Jungkook could feel you tightening around him. He moved his mouth over yours and gave you an ardent kiss. The light of your desire turned brighter and brighter until it burst apart into a thousand little flames. You cried against his lips and let the heat consume you. Your body pulsed around his and the overwhelming sensation brought him right over the edge with you.

The both of you laid on your bed and clung to each other. Neither of you willing to let the other go. Your pounding chests beat in tandem. Jungkook stroked his hand across your hair and kissed your head.

“I want you to be happy too,” he said.

“I know,” you said as you smiled against his chest, “You make me happy.”

Jungkook pulled you tighter into him and you remained silent for a while. His hand traced lazy patterns against your skin. Your breathing evened out.

“Are you allergic to pineapple?” he suddenly asked.

You looked up at him in surprise. “No. Why?”

“Because you always order tangsuyuk without pineapple.”

“Oh. That’s because my sister hates pineapple.”

Jungkook frowned, you pulled yourself up and kissed the little ridges between his eyes.

“What?” you asked.

“I think the jjajangmyeon is all soggy by now,” he said.

You had to laugh. “Probably, but the tangsuyuk should still taste great.”

Jungkook kissed you with a smile. “You’re right, tangsuyuk always tastes great.”

°°°°°°°

02/05/20

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tryst-art-archive · 2 years ago

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This is an archive of work made by @tryskits from 2000 to 2020.

It's an art and writing archive, but it's also a record of how I grew up online, blemishes and all, and of who I was before I transitioned.

Before I was TrysKits, I was Refkins, and before I was Refkins, I was Rhawen. Getting from one me to the next was nonlinear and involved a lot of cringe-inducing moments, but I think acknowledging how growth is uncomfortable and messy is important, especially when so much of our lives are made public. I also, personally, like being able to look back at who I used to be. Reflecting on where we came from helps contextualize where we are, and I find I need that kind of perspective a lot of the time.

Below the cut, you'll find a timeline of my personal history for context, as well as guidance on navigating the archive's tags.

If you'd like to see what I'm making in the present day, you can follow @tryskits (or @tryskits-art if you want just the art w/o the reblogs), or you can find me at any of the links here.

History

The following is intended to give you a reference point for the works contained in this archive.

[Rhawen] Neopets was my entry point to the World Wide Web, and I joined it when I was still in elementary school. The 2000 - 2003 period of this archive covers this span.

[Rhawen > Refkins] I moved to deviantArt in 2004, when I was 13, and I proceeded to hang out there until I went to college in 2009, whereupon I disappeared from online creative spaces for nearly a decade.

[Refkins] During high school (2005 - 2009), I was one of the art kids and misfits, and I took some summer art classes. I also was drawn to writing and webcomics, but I never managed to get any of the latter off the ground.

[Refkins] In college, I studied Writing, Literature and Publishing and I had a minor in Photography. I was still making lots of stuff during this period of time, but most of it didn't make its way online until much later, and I was doing very little drawing.

In 2014, I began working QA in the game industry. I keep my game dev and creative identities separate on purpose, so that's all I'll say about it here, but it's worth knowing that my career and experience in game dev impacted how I made and thought about my own projects going forward.

[Refkins] In 2017 (age 26) and 2018 (age 27), I got hit with the drawing bug in a big way and made some overtures at returning to deviantArt. I uploaded the things I'd made over the previous 8-9 years. Unfortunately, it didn't stick.

[Refkins] From 2018 to 2020 I spent a lot of time writing, having finally moved past the burnout college induced.

[Refkins > TrysKits] In 2019, I got struck with the idea for Tarot Town, which you can learn more about via my main. TT proved to be the means through which I figured out that I am a trans man.

[TrysKits] In 2021, I socially transitioned, becoming Trystan (or Tryst for short). It was also the year I turned 30.

This archive ends with the conclusion of 2020 and the end of a major phase of my life--the pre-transition years and everything they contained.

Tag Guide

Content Type

The media type is pretty much always tagged, e.g., #sketch #illustration #prose , etc.

All visual works are tagged with #art archive

All written works are tagged with #writing archive

Anything that documents my years on deviantArt is tagged #deviantArt archive

While I've rarely done fanart, you can differentiate between that and original works with #fanart #fanfic #oc art #oc writing

#NSFW is used to denote works that explicitly depict sex, even when said depictions are censored.

#suggestive is used to denote works that imply sexual content but which don't outright depict it.

Furry works are tagged with both #furry and #anthro

Works depicting other peoples' IP are tagged with "others' OCs" and any other salient information about the character/creature/etc.

#mild nudity indicates that a character is in the buff but no detail is shown (e.g., no nips, genitalia, butt)

#nudity indicates that a character is naked and there's some amount of detail.

TrysKits IP

You can find work related to the stories set in Khra under #Khra-nicles

Work related to the roleplay my best friend and I used to do as teens is under #The RP

Work relating to my (defunct) first attempt to develop a webcomic is under #Redux/Project SE

Work relating to my (defunct) second attempt to develop a webcomic is under #A Practical Guide to Good vs Evil

Work relating to my (possibly zombified) third and fourth attempts to develop a webcomic are under #EC/WC

[I'll add more as they come up.]

Characters are tagged with their first and last name (assuming they have one of the latter). Middle names are left out if a character has one.

^ With exceptions: #Unge S. Chickt #Rhawen Evergreen Fox

Regardless of what they were called at the time of a work's creation, depictions of my primary fursona are tagged with #Refs

Not every OC is tagged. I focused on ones I felt were significant.

Temporal Organization

Each piece is tagged with my age at the time of its creation. Ex: #Age 14

Each piece is tagged with the decade it was created in. Ex: 00s

Each piece is tagged with the specific year it was created in. Ex: 2005

#pinned post #me

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ao3feed--reylo · 2 years ago

Text

DANGER HAS TWO FACES

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/p59Nj84

by Lil_Lola_Blue

The place? Sexy, sleazy, sinful noir Los Angeles, 1956. The players? College student and pulp fiction & film noir enthusiast ReyMcGregor. Identical cousins Ben Solo and Kylo Skywalker. Ben is a beatnik, a pulp magazine photographer and author of pulp fiction. A former WWII and Korean War commando, Ben lost his arm, and his way. Kylo is also a former commando who lost his arm alongside his identical cousin when they were POW's. He found his way to the US security services, a CIA analyst who is also a secret spy and assassin. The game? Danger, sex, true crime noir and death. The story? Ben reconnects with neighbor girl Rey via an ad in a true crime magazine. She is looking to be a cover model, and much more. They fall in love, but? Kylo. He has been lusting after Rey since she turned 17. He & Ben are like brothers. They have shared everything. Kylo knows some of Rey's fantasies are too dark for Ben to fulfill. Even if he has to pretend to be Ben for the night? He's sure Rey will like it. Also? A serial killer, the Pinup Girl Killer is stalking women who pose for pulp magazines. Are the cousins involved? How? Is Rey in danger? Trading places is Ben and Kylo's favorite game. Will they play it until someone dies?

Words: 13272, Chapters: 1/3, Language: English

Fandoms: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, Multi

Characters: Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Obi-Wan Kenobi

Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Kylo Ren/Rey

Additional Tags: sex by trick, identical cousins, Past War, Cops, G-Men, beatniks, Sexual Roleplay, Smut, Photo Shoots, Fetish Photo Shoots, Serial Killers, Kylo Ren in Love, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Breylo with identical cousins, Alternate Universe - 1950s, 1950s Slang, Film Noir, Pulp Fiction References, mild butt stuff, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Multiple Sex Positions, Multiple Orgasms, multiple sex partners, sin - Freeform, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Sleaze, L.A. Noir, Alternate Universe - Dark, Kylo Ren and Ben Solo are Identical Cousins, Kylo Ren & Ben Solo are Different People, Mention of Korean War, Mention of World War II, Rey is a Kenobi (Star Wars), Reylo - Freeform, breylo - Freeform, age gap, Kylo and Ben are 29-30, Rey is 19, Sex, Light Bondage, Reylo Noir, Rey has a Taboo Roleplay Fantasy, Dirty Talk, Consensual Kink, Consensual verbal degredation, Consensual Non-Consent, Past Violence, Non-Graphic Violence, Drug Use, Drinking

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/p59Nj84

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #Star Wars #Reylo #Kylo Ren #Rey

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sillydg · 3 years ago

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Foul Play (Tobias X MC)

Book: Open heart, somewhere in book 3 Rating: 18+ Pairing: Tobias X MC ((Elisabeth Sarah Hughes (Liz))

Wordcount: 1169

A/N: This is my first time for the Wacky Drabble: “Two can play that game.” @wackydrabbles A/N: Sorry, it’s a bit longer than 1.000 ☹ I hope that’s Okay. A/N: English is not my first language, so there might be a lot of Grammarly mistakes. I’m sorry!

Warnings: A little bit of smut and flirting. Mild foul language.

Summary: It’s Friday night and Bryce, Rafael, Tobias and Liz are having their weekly laser tag battle going on!

Rafael, Bryce and Tobias belong to Pixelberry.

Foul play.

"All right Bryce, are you ready to kick some serious butt?" Liz walks towards Bryce who is waiting for her in front of the game hall.

He gives her his most bright smile; “We are so going to win. The seventh time is a charm right?! But on another note.. What the hell are you wearing?

It’s almost as hot as me this evening and you’re walking in a long autumn jacket, some weird boots, and what did you do with your hair?”

She wears her brown hair up, in a tight ponytail, with her tail braided down. “What? Don’t you like it? I just came prepared after the stunt Tobias pulled last week”

“Which you keep referring to, but Raf and I still don't know what actually happened. And yes, I do like your hairdo, but I might like it a bit too much. And to be honest I don’t think that distracting your teammate is the a winning strategy we are looking for.”

“Except, when you also distract the two enemies, right?”

“What are you talking about, Liz?”

“You’ll see, hon. Now let’s go inside, Raf and T. are waiting for us!”

They walk inside, to be greeted by Tobias and Rafael.

“I almost thought that you guys chickened out.” Tobias greets them with a huge grin. “But I'm glad we are getting the chance to kick your sexy asses for the seventh week in a row!”

Liz gives him a playful shove against the shoulder. “Well, that’s only because of the foul play you pulled last week.”

“Me? Cheating? Are you serious that desperate, Elisabeth? Shame on you, accusing me of such naughty things. Tell me, Hughes, how DO you sleep at night?”

“I sleep very well, thank you very much.”

The two of them keep bickering while Raf and Bruce are standing at the sidelines, enjoying the show.

Bryce lowers his voice and leans a bit toward Rafael; “How long do you think they can hold up this, ‘We’re only co-workers’ act.”

“Yeah, I give them two weeks before they end up in bed together.”

Bryce grins. “Tops.” He checks his watch. “Come on Raf, our game is starting.” He calls out to Liz and Tobias; Mom, dad come on we're running late and you know that we might break things without parental supervision.”

They enter the hall, and the boys start with putting on their laser tag gear. After finishing up Tobias starts with entering their names into the computer. “Last chance to switch to my winning team, Liz.”

“In your dreams, mister. I’m perfectly happy with Bruce. And besides, today you can enter Lara as my name, instead of Liz.”

Three heads snap in her direction as she opens her coat and lets it slip onto a chair. She is dressed in a black tank top, revealing part of her belly, combined with very, very short brown short and long brown boots.

Raf and Bryce stare at her as Tobias snaps his fingers in front of their faces. “I think that you broke them, Liz.”

Bryce walks up to her. “Are those strap-on holsters on your upper legs? And damn.. now I get the boots. Please forgive me for ever calling those weird.”

“Yeah, you like it?” She wraps her body armor around her waist before putting her laser guns into the holsters.

“God, do I.”

“You know what, I might need to warm up a little bit before going in.” She bends forward and starts to stretch.”

Tobias rolls his eyes as Bryce and Rafael are almost drooling at the sight of her. “All right, guys. The show is over. Come on. In you go.” He utters them towards the entrance of the laser tag area.”

Liz brushes past Tobias and follows Rafael and Bryce inside.

He stays behind, hypnotized by the swaying of her hip.

She smiles and feels him staring at her. “Enjoying the view, Carrick?”

“One of the perks of being the last person to enter the room, Lara.”

Bryce and Liz, and Rafael and Tobias move each to their corner, at the opposites of the room.

“Okay, Bryce. We need to have a game plan.”

He just stares at her.

“For god's sake, Bryce.”

“You should warn me next time Liz when you’re pulling stunts like this. I was not mentally prepared. Where did you get this idea from anyway?”

“Three weeks ago we were drunken gaming with Elijah, Raf, and Tobias and we were playing Tomb raider.”

“Right.”

“And since we were very drunk and there was no filter, Tobias confessed that Lara was one of his fantasies.”

Bryce pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh, God and dressing up like her was a great idea, how?”

“Bryce, are you kidding me. With both of them distracted, we are so going to win!”

BUZZZZZZ. Okay, that's the signal and she jumps up. “Come on Bryce. You take right, and I take left.”

She sneaks through the area when she feels someone grabbing her wrist and pulling her into a tight space. She looks directly into the eyes of Tobias as he locks her against the wall with his body.

“You are not playing fair here, miss Croft.”

She smiles at him teasingly “Well Tobias, remember last week?”

He smirks and his eyes start gleaming. “You mean, the moment where I took my shirt off to distract you and got the winning point?”

“No I mean, when you took your harness off, so there was no way for me to shoot you.”

“Tomato-tomahto'.

She grabs her harness and drops it to the ground. She pulls him close, and whispers in his ear “Two can play that game.” After a small bite on his earlobe, she frees herself from his grip and shoots him with her laser pistol.

He pulls her close and whispers. “God Liz you broke me. I honestly don’t care anymore about winning, I surrender and give up my wins retroactively. Such foul play, Hughes. And here I am, only caring about getting my hands on you, while being so confused about wanting to keep these clothes on, but also wanting to rip them of you...” He lets his hands drift over her body and looks her in the eyes, lips almost touching. Liz closes the distance and pulls him in for a passionate kiss. He picks her up and she wraps her legs around him as she gets pressed into the wall. In an instant, she feels his warm hands moving over her almost bare thighs. "God, yes, Tobias."

Tobias pulls back with some effort. “Yeah, Fuck it. I’m taking you home right now. We’ll return this stuff later.”

He carries her out of the area, leaving Bryce and Rafael behind, who both changed their bets after Bryce explained Liz's plan to Rafael.

Bryce starts smirking and claps Rafael on his shoulder. “Within the fifteen minutes. Well, I guess you pay our bill tonight at Donahue's bud.”

Rafael grins. “Come on. Let’s go.”

----------------------

Taglist: @jerzwriter

@wackydrabbles @openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations Please let me know if you want to be added or removed

#tobias x mc #tobias carrick #choices open heart #open heart #fanfic

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haloangel391 · 4 years ago

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Your Love Means More (Tech x Reader)

Hello everybody, this is my first ever fic so I’m sorry if it’s not the best, and kinda corny. I was inspired when going through my own pains and wanting someone to take care of me. Hope you all enjoy. Feedback is welcome!

Also I wanted to say thank you to @just-some-girl-92 for giving me the confidence to finally write my own story and for always being there when I want to talk about The Clone Wars.

Warnings: Is having a period a warning? I guess blood is a warning so... PG-13? Also there is a sexual reference, but nothing explicit.

*Coruscant, night, your apartment*

You’re laying on your couch, clutching your stomach as another wave of cramps surges through your body. The room is completely dark, save for the glow of the holo you stopped trying to watch a few hours ago, the colorful pictures only creating a mild distraction from the pain you are going through. The hot water bottle that was across your stomach went cold a few hours ago, but you were too tired and in too much pain to get up and change it for what felt like the hundredth time that day. You sigh and close your eyes, trying to not let your disappointment get the better of you, but you don’t succeed.

Today was supposed to be a great day. Your boyfriend was coming home from a two month mission today and you had the whole week planned. Unfortunately your body had other ideas this morning when you woke up covered in a small pool of blood, which led you to the position you were currently in.

You squeezed your eyes shut again as another wave of pain shot through you. You were so focused on it that you didn’t notice your apartment door open, revealing your very concerned boyfriend.

ooo

Tech couldn’t sit still if his life depended on him. His knees bouncing with anticipation as The Bad Batch made their way back to Coruscant. Back to you.

It had been two long months for Tech, and he wanted nothing more than to see you and hold you in his arms.

Crosshair looked at his brother from across the room, his eyes had a far off look to them despite the fact he was working on a project in his hand. He knew exactly what he was thinking about. You.

The whole Bad Batch knew about you and Tech, not from a lack of trying, but Tech wouldn’t stop talking about how sweet and wonderful and kind you were. It was nauseating. After watching his poor brother take the same gadget apart for the fourth time he knew it was time to intervene.

“You’ve got to calm down Tech,” Crosshair said, “you this nervous around your girl?”

Tech was so focused on the piece in his had that he jumped at his brother’s sudden statement. He narrowed his eyes at him from across the room. “What do you mean?” Tech said, looking mildly confused now.

“Aw, leave the kid alone Cross,” Wrecker boomed from the next room, looking at his little brother with mischief in his eyes, “like you wouldn’t be daydreaming like that after not seeing your girl for two months,” Wrecker playfully punched his brothers arm, much to his displeasure.

“I wouldn’t be so obvious about it,” Crosshair stated rubbing his now sore arm. Crosshair and Wrecker started bantering each other, but Tech was barely listening to them. He was thinking about you, obviously, but something was itching in the back of his mind about this day, something he should have remembered, and it was bothering him that he couldn’t think of what it was.

He prided himself on knowing a lot of information for missions; research about the planet they were on, medical information incase of an emergency, cultures and customs of the people they might be interacting with. But he also prided himself in knowing a lot about you.

Over the year you had known each other he learned a lot about you, what your favorite movies were, your favorite snacks, your childhood, your favorite things to listen to when you were happy and sad, all this information he could pull out of his head at a moment’s notice, which is why he was so anxious to get to you now. He knew something was important about this day, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

He was more than relieved when the Havoc Marauder touched down on the landing platform. He waisted no time in exiting the ship and making his way to you, not bothering to listen to the calls of his brothers back on the ship.

ooo

Tech made his way through the wet and crowded streets of Coruscant, his mind thinking of you, but for a whole other reason now. You weren’t picking up your comm. Perhaps you were just busy at work? His mind tried to put him at ease, but he knew that wasn’t right. Today was your day off, so he knew you would be home in your apartment. Tech picked up his pace a bit more as he headed towards your building trying not to let the panic overwhelm him.

He loved visiting your apartment, it was so different from the harsh environments he was constantly introduced to during the war. The inside always smelled like freshly baked goods and the string lights you had hanging from your ceiling created a beautiful, warm glow that made your whole face light up. But the thing he loved the most, was no matter the time he got back from a mission, you would always be waiting up for him, embracing him in a warm hug as soon as he entered your apartment door.

So Tech was extremely confused and border line panic mode, when he opened the door and the whole apartment was cast in darkness. It was cold and silent except for a quite moan that he heard coming from the living room couch.

Immediately Tech’s training kicked in and he scanned the room looking for any signs of danger. The glow from the holo illuminated the room a bit and it’s light finally hit your curled up form on the couch. Tech’s breath hitched when he saw the look of pain on your face and didn’t waste any time in coming over and kneeling in front of you.

“(Y/n)?! Love? What’s wrong?” He put his hands on your face to try and see if you would respond to him, but your eyes just remained squeezed shut. You shook your head, your breathing a bit ragged.

He quickly scanned your body for any injuries but came up empty, which relieved him but he still couldn’t figure out why you were ---

Oh.

Tech’s eyes landed on the hot water bottle laying in your lap and everything suddenly clicked in to place.

Your mensural cycle.

That’s what he forgot. You were starting your period today.

His shoulder’s visible relaxed as relief suddenly flooded his system. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead gently against yours trying to ground himself from his earlier panic. You weren’t in any danger. You were safe. You were ok. He kept chanting this in his head for a bit until he calmed down more, the hand on your face rubbing soothing circles on your cheek. Tech kept himself in this position for a bit until you finally opened your eyes.

ooo

You knew Tech was back home, but you couldn’t get up to greet him like you usually would. Which immediately made you feel guilty. He did so much for you and went through so much out there and you couldn’t get your stupid butt off the couch to greet him hello. Pathetic.

When Tech made his way over to you and pressed his forehead against yours in a keldabe kiss, that’s when you lost it.

You didn’t even realized you were crying until you felt Tech pull away and hold your face again with both hands. You opened your eyes and looked at your boyfriend through clouded vision, the concerned look in his eyes only made you cry harder, which naturally made Tech panic even more.

“My love, does it hurt that bad? Do you need more medicine? Food? I could reheat your water bottle? I can make you that chocolate drink if you’d li---”

“I’m so sorry,” you blubbered, cutting him off mid ramble, through your choked sobs. “I’m so sorry Tech, I had the whole week planned with stuff for us to do, I-I got us tickets to the new museum exhibit tonight, a-and I was going to make your favorite dinner and I was reading this book online and it gave me an idea, so I bought something new for us to try-- but I can’t now because I’m bleeding and it’s gross and I just wanted to do something nice for you, you’re always so sweet and you deserve to be happy and relax and-- and I can’t stop crying.”

You continued to sob, too embarrassed with your overdramatic outburst to look your boyfriend in the face. Were you aware you were crying for practically no reason? Yes. But your hormones wouldn’t let you see that.

Your heard Tech tut and his hands left your face and encircled your body and brought you closer to him, so your head could rest on the spot between his neck and shoulder. He continued to hold you there while you cried, his strong arms keeping a firm and secure hold onto you while his hands rubbed soothing circles on your back. He rocked you both slightly back and fourth not saying anything except for a calming, shhh, or a quite, I’ve got you, whenever your tears picked up again.

It wasn’t until you finally stopped crying that he finally spoke, “(Y/N), your love means more to me than any of those things. The fact that you went out of your way to try and make today special means a lot, even if you don’t feel well enough to do them, it’s the thought that counts. Besides you’ve seen me at my worst and taken care of me, I have no problem spending my time taking care of you.”

You sniffle some more before pulling away from him and wiping the tears from your face. The look on his face is not one of disappointment, which is what you’ve been dreaming of for the past few hours. No, he’s looking at you like you hold the answers to the universe. It’s so sweet you can’t help but give a small laugh, that sounds more like a hiccup.

“What did I do to deserve you?” you whisper, looking at him fondly. You lean towards him again and press a tender kiss to his lips which he immediately reciprocates, giving a quiet hum of contentment.

You pull away after a while, his arms are still around you, but have switched to being stationed loosely around your waist, keeping you nice and close to him.

You look down at his shoulder and you fail at stifling a small laugh, “sorry I got you wet,” you say with a giggle.

He looks down at the water marks on his armor, the tears making a nice clean trail down his dusty body. Tech makes a sound of indifference and shrugs his shoulders, “it needed cleaning, you just got the process started a bit sooner than I originally intended.”

You laugh at that. His face is breaking into a smile now too, taking pride in the fact that he was the one that made you laugh again after feeling so down on yourself.

Tech never understood why you always put so much pressure on yourself, to him you were absolutely perfect. Any guy who would get upset over their girlfriend having a period was a karking idiot.

You bring your hand to his cheek and swipe your thumb underneath his eye, coaxing him to close his eyes and lean his head into your hand. Your eyes widen when you realize there is now a streak left behind where you thumb was. You put your hands on his shoulders and lean back some more, finally taking a proper look at your boyfriend. He was FILTHY! Tech’s armor was caked in various amounts of mud, dust and debris, you don’t know how you didn’t notice it sooner.

“Babe. Why are you so dirty? Did you fall in a mud pit?” You weren’t trying to make fun of him, honestly you weren’t, but you had never seen him come home looking like this.

He huffed and looked at you with slight annoyance, but you could tell it wasn’t directed at you. “For your information, I did not fall in a mud pit... Wrecker pushed me.”

You eyes widened considerably at that. This new information did not surprise you one bit, you tried not to laugh at him, not wanting to hurt his pride any more than the incident apparently already did. Instead you leaned forward again and pressed a sweet kiss to his nose. His face scrunched up at that, but afterwards all annoyance seemed to melt from his face and you were met with that lopsided and dopy grin of his that you had come to know and love.

“Why don’t you wash up in the fresher for a bit and relax?” you suggested.

His shoulders relaxed a bit at the mention of the fresher, you could see the tiredness seeping onto his face.

“Ok,” he says, taking your two hands in his and raising them to his lips for a quick kiss. “Do you need anything before I go in?”

You thought about that for a minute. The pain in your abdomen was still there, but it wasn’t as severe as it was before, in fact you were quite a bit hungry and your stomach chose that moment to make that known to your whole neighborhood. You blushed slightly looking down in embarrassment, but Tech just laughed.

“How about I refill your hot water bottle and order from that place you like down the street? Hum? You can pick out a holo for us to watch too if you want.” You smiled sweetly to him at that and pecked his lips again. “Only if you promise to cuddle with me on the couch.”

He grins at you again and presses a kiss to your forehead before standing up, “I would have it no other way.”

ooo

An hour later you were fed, dosed up on a concoction of pain medication from your boyfriend that you really had to write down for later, and half way thru your favorite holo. Finally, you were starting to feel like a human being again. Your boyfriend had cocooned you in various soft blankets before taking his place behind you on the couch and letting you use his shoulder as the world’s best pillow. Tech had his arms draped protectively around you securing you against his warm body, which was doing far more good for your cramps than your small hot water bottle did. You were in heaven.

You looked away from the holo and up at him after a few more moments of quiet, thinking he had finally fallen asleep, but you are met with a look of confusion written on his face.

“Babe? What’s wrong,” you question from your place on his shoulder.

Ever the thinker, he looks down at you after another pause and speaks softly, “Before, you said you got something new for us to try? What is it? A new recipe?”

Oh. My. Gosh.

Was he joking? He must be, this wasn’t the first time you had bought something new for you both to try in the bedroom. You thought he was messing with you until you looked up at him again and were met with only soft, innocence eyes shining through his large glasses. You couldn’t help but chuckle at him and press a loving kiss to his cheek.

“Well...” you say looking up at him thru hooded lashes. You leaned closer to him until your lips were reaching the shell of his ear, “It’s not a matter of something we could eat, as it is something we could put in our mouth.”

The choked noise and large blush overtaking his features had you laughing so hard your abdomen was now hurting for a whole other reason.

#tech x reader #bad batch x reader #clones x reader #clone trooper tech #period pains #The Clone Wars #clone force 99 #the bad batch #I don't know if this is good but I had fun making it #Periods suck I really wish I had a boyfriend to take care of me like this #He's such a sweet boy I wish he was real :"(#Proud of myself for finally doing this #Are there any spelling errors? I feel like there are a few #This took me waaaaaaaay too long to finish writing

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crazy4dragons · 4 years ago

Text

Boxers

Astrid likes to wear Hiccup’s boxers. She’s also pregnant! Modern AU. I wrote this with my Like Heaven AU in mind, but really you could imagine any modern AU Hiccstrid here. Rated T for very mild sex references, but overall fluffy.

“Hey Astrid, did you steal my boxers again?” Hiccup frowned as he shuffled through his dresser drawer. “I only have one pair left.”

The blonde appeared and, leaning against the wall, crossed her arms across her chest. Her eyes glued to Hiccup’s bare torso, still wet after his shower, she pulled down the front of her sweats.

“Astrid!” Hiccup exclaimed, shaking his head as he recognized the hemline of his underwear. “And my favorite pair of sweats, too. Don’t you have your own clothes?”

“The bra is mine.” Astrid tugged on the strap of her sports bra.

“Clearly.” A lopsided grin appeared on his face.

“Don’t you like the aesthetic, though?” Astrid spun around. As a strand of hair came loose from her messy bun, she tucked it behind her ear. “It’s comfy for my baby belly, too.” She rested a hand on her small baby bump.

“It sounds like you’re ready to go maternity clothes shopping.” Hiccup finished drying off and slipped on his last clean pair of boxers before approaching Astrid. Affectionately patting her belly, he pressed a kiss against her forehead. “What do you need? I’ll go with you if you want.”

Astrid laced her fingers with his. “Well babe, you need some more boxers and sweats. Seeing that you’ll need to share with me for another five months.” A playful smile spread across her lips. “Maybe more hoodies, too, for when it gets too cold to run around the house in just a bra.” She rested her chin on his shoulder and guided his arms around her waist.

“What, milady, you want me to hug you after you stole my underwear?” teased Hiccup, pulling her against his chest and tracing circles on her hip.

“Mmm, you know you love me.” Astrid returned the embrace.

“I do love you, Astrid.” He pressed a kiss into her hair and, grabbing her beneath the butt, lifted her up so she could straddle his waist.

“Hey,” laughed the blonde, winding her arms around his shoulders.

“Oh, hey,” Hiccup grinned, his gaze glued to her chest. “Damn, these boobs are growing by the day.”

“They are. Which reminds me, I need to get some new bras if we go shopping. As you can see, I’m falling out of all mine and bras are the one thing I can’t steal from you.”

Hiccup carried Astrid to the bed and gently tossed her onto the mattress. “Here, you cozy up while I finish getting ready, then we’ll go out and look for some clothes. I’ll take you to breakfast first, too.” He pressed a kiss onto her lips and nuzzled his nose against hers. “We can also look for some baby things while we’re out.”

“Don’t you want to find out the gender before we start buying stuff?”

“We can get some things.” Hiccup shrugged. “Like blankets. And bottles. And a car seat.”

“We could. Or we could wait.” She grabbed Hiccup’s t-shirt from the night before and slipped it over her head. “I think you’re just getting excited to be a dad.”

Hiccup looked over at her and shook his head. “My shirt, too?”

“I love living with you.” She picked up a throw blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. “It means I can raid your wardrobe anytime.”

“Well in that case…” Hiccup grabbed one of Astrid’s t-shirts from the closet and pulled it on.

Astrid laughed. “What are you doing? That looks like a crop top on you.”

“This is so tight.” Hiccup struggled to tug it back over his head. “And how are you supposed to take it off?”

“With all the times you’ve undressed me, you should know,” smirked the blonde.

Hiccup finally freed himself from the garment. “Damn.”

“So you can unhook my bras with only two fingers, but you can’t take off a t-shirt.”

“It’s easier to get your clothes off when they’re on you. Except for your skinny jeans. Those are a struggle every time.”

“Then you should be happy I’m wearing your sweats instead.” Astrid reclined against the pillows and grabbed her phone from the pocket of her — well, Hiccup’s — pants. “Okay, so let me make a list. We need more underwear and sweats for both of us, hoodies, bras for me, maybe some cute maternity dresses. Anything else?”

“The baby stuff.”

“I think the baby stuff should be a separate trip, hun. We can go to a baby store or something. After we find out the gender. And after we get our next paychecks.”

“When are we finding out the gender again?”

“August 5. So in a week and a half. You’re still coming with me to my appointment, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.” Hiccup pulled on a shirt and came to sit beside Astrid. “You wearing my clothes to go out?”

She nodded.

“Alright, then. Well, I’m ready to go whenever you are. Where do you wanna go for breakfast?”

“Let’s go to Berk’s.” Astrid hopped off the mattress and slipped into a pair of flip-flops. Berk’s Coffee was a little coffee shop down the street.

“And then where do you wanna shop? The mall?”

“Yeah, we can look at the mall. Oh, and while we’re there, we should go to Build-a-Bear and make a bear for our baby.”

“I thought you wanted to wait and find out the gender before we got baby stuff.”

“We can get two bears, a pink and a blue. We can use them at the gender reveal party. And then if we have a boy, we can give him the blue bear and save the pink for if our second is a girl, and if we have a girl, we can give her the pink bear and save the blue for if our second is a boy.”

“Do we have a date for this party yet?” Hiccup grabbed his Converse and a pair of socks.

“I’m thinking early September. Maybe Labor Day weekend.”

“Speaking of September, we need to decide what we’re doing for our anniversary.” After tying his shoes, Hiccup put his wallet in his pocket and took his keys from the top of the dresser. “It’ll be three years this year.”

“It feels like so much longer.”

“Okay, well three years of marriage, about four years of being a couple, and almost fourteen years of friendship.”

“Just think, if I hadn’t gone to sit with the awkward new boy at lunch, you wouldn’t be the father of my baby.” Astrid grabbed Hiccup’s hand as they walked to the front door.

“I take it you don’t regret marrying your best friend?” grinned Hiccup.

“Not at all. Especially when I get to wear his boxers.”

“Well, if you’re gonna be wearing all my clean boxers now, you can have extra laundry duty.”

“What? That’s so not fair.”

“It is, too.” He turned to kiss her lips. “I need underwear, too, you know.”

“Mmm, I don’t know about that. You look fine without it,” teased Astrid. “Now let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

#modern au hiccstrid #hiccstrid #fanfic #httyd #like heaven universe #like heaven au #married hiccstrid #my writing

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stereksecretsanta · 4 years ago

Text

Merry Christmas, moretomhardy!

For @moretomhardy. I hope you enjoy!

Read On AO3

*****

A Life Like That

The notification pings before Derek’s last ride has even reached her door, and he snorts as the app flashes his match. “Head to pick up Mieczyslaw (Stiles) now..”

He’s not surprised when the phone lights up with a call a moment later. He waves goodbye to the woman he’d dropped off as he pulls away, letting the call come through the Bluetooth piece in his ear.

“You know you have to pay for that ride now, right?” he says in lieu of a greeting.

“That’s alright,” Stiles says, and Derek can hear the smirk in his voice. “I just so happen to be sleeping with this guy who is like…obscenely rich. And loves paying for anything I need.”

“Is that so?” Derek snorts in response. “You’ll have to introduce me to him.”

“You’re not stealing my sugar daddy!” Stiles laughs.

He goes into the chorus of Jolene before Derek can stop him, and Derek lets it go on for longer than he really should before butting in.

“Calm down, Dolly,” he says. “Your extravagant lifestyle is safe. You’ll be kept in the finest pizza and hipster beer that Beacon Hills has to offer.”

“I was just getting into it!” Stiles protests, but Derek can tell he’s smiling.

“Where are you going anyway?” Derek asks, keeping his eyes on the moderately busy road in front of him as he heads towards their house.

“Doesn’t your app show you?” Stiles asks, and Derek can hear him huffing as he settles down on the front porch steps to wait.

“Not until I actually pick you up,” Derek says. “How’d you even manage to match with me? I was ten minutes away.”

“I….” Stiles hedges, “I might have cancelled like six other rides until I got you.”

“Stiles.”

“Derek.”

“Honestly,” Stiles says, “I’m surprised it worked.”

Derek just laughs before pausing as something occurs to him.

“Wait,” he asks, “why aren’t you driving yourself? Did the Jeep break down again?”

“The thing is,” Stiles says, and oh boy, Derek knows that tone.

“What did you do?” he says.

“Always with the lack of question-mark tone,” Stiles says, ignoring the question.

His breath hitches on the last word, and Derek’s mood abruptly goes from teasing to worried.

“Are you hurt? Did somebody get through the wards?”

“I’m ok,” Stiles says quickly, trying to reassure the panicking werewolf. “Nobody attacked, nobody got through the wards. I just had an unfortunate encounter with a rickety chair and the kitchen floor.”

“Shit, babe,” Derek says, turning down the road towards their house, going a little faster than he should, but he can’t be bothered to care. “What did you…”

He asks the question as he pulls up to the house, but it’s answered before he even has to finish it. In his ear, the Bluetooth beeps as Stiles ends the call, dropping his phone into his left pocket, fumbling slightly as he does so. His right arm is tucked close to his chest in what looks like a makeshift sling from a sacrificed t-shirt.

Stiles waves with his good hand, grinning wanly despite the pain Derek can now see on his face.

Sighing, Derek clicks the “ride started” button on his app and leans over to open the door of the Camaro for Stiles. Realizing Stiles won’t be able to shut the door, Derek hops out and goes over to the passenger side, where he’s met with Stiles’ big sad eyes as he too realizes his predicament.

“Come on,” he says to Stiles, getting him settled into the car and buckling the seatbelt across his lap, letting the chest piece stay behind Stiles so he doesn’t hurt him further.

“Why didn’t you just call me normally?” he asks. “I would’ve stopped working and picked you up right away.”

Stiles shrugs one-shouldered. “Mostly wanted to distract you from worrying about me until the last minute. It was dumb.”

“Not dumb,” Derek says, “I thought it was funny, right up until I realized you were hurt.”

Stiles just frowns and doesn’t say anything as Derek closes the door gently.

When they’re settled and back on the road, Stiles gives a deep sigh and looks over at Derek, who is driving as smoothly as possible so as not to jostle the broken bone.

“Well, this sucks,” he says. “I hate the hospital.”

“I know,” Derek says, sympathetically. He stops at a red light and reaches over to clasp Stiles’ broken arm gently, leeching as much of the pain as he can before the light turns green and he needs his hand back to shift gears.

“Ahh,” Stiles sighs, happily this time. “That’s the good stuff right there. I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”

He rests his head back against the seat and closes his eyes, the tightness of his eyes visibly loosening, much to Derek’s relief.

“There’s also all the pizza and beer,” Derek teases.

“Mmmhm,” Stiles agrees, sleepily. “And also your butt. I love your butt.”

“You’ve made that known many times,” Derek laughs. “Hey, did you hit your head at all? I don’t want you falling asleep if you have a concussion.”

“Nuh-uh,” Stiles says, shaking his head slightly. “My arm broke my fall. And then broke…itself.”

“Were you using one of the chairs your dad gave us that creaks even when tiny Lydia sits on it?”

Stiles says nothing, feigning sleep.

“I can hear your heartbeat and your breathing, asshole,” Derek says, reaching over to smack Stiles’ knee without taking his eyes off the road.

“Ugh,” Stiles says. “Fine. Yes, I was using the chair that’s older than Dad. And yes, it decided my very manly muscled body was just too much for it to bear, and yes, one of the legs snapped and yes I fell victim to gravity and my own damn hubris. Happy?”

“Very manly muscled body?” Derek asks, smirking.

“You love my manly muscled body,” Stiles says without opening his eyes. He does, however, stick his tongue out at Derek as if he was 5 years on, not nearly 27.

“I do,” Derek allows, and he turns his head away from the road for just a moment to shoot a grin to Stiles.

“And of course I’m not happy you got hurt,” he says. “Just trying to keep you distracted until we get to the ER.”

“I know,” Stiles says, softly. “I appreciate it.”

Derek hums in response, only to laugh out loud a moment later.

“What?” Stiles asks, opening his eyes at the sudden outburst and looking over at Derek with wide eyes.

“Melissa is going to lose it when she finds out you were bested by a piece of furniture,” Derek responds, still chuckling to himself slightly.

Stiles groans.

“We’re here,” Derek says, pulling in to park and ending the ride on the Uber app, before signing out of it for the day before he can get another request.

Once they’re parked and ready to get out, Derek takes a little bit more of Stiles’ pain, just enough to get him through the sure to be long wait at the emergency room.

Stiles leans into Derek slightly with his good side and sighs in relief again.

“Definitely giving you a 5 star rating.”

A few hours and one hand-to-elbow cast later, they’re finally on their way home, a prescription for painkillers in the glovebox, and the promise of a delivery dinner on the horizon.

“At least I can still do most things left-handed,” Stiles says, in much better spirits now that his broken arm is set and the mild painkillers the hospital gave him have kicked in.

“And it’s a good thing you can walk to work from the house,” Derek adds.

“You mean my dearest darling wolfy wouldn’t drive me to work?” Stiles asks, batting his eyes over at Derek in an exaggerated motion.

Derek just rolls his eyes.

“It’s a 10 minute walk, Stiles,” he says. “You didn’t break your legs.”

“It’s cold in the mornings!” Stiles protests.

“We live in California,” Derek counters, smirking.

“Northern California!” Stiles objects. “You know very well it gets cold here!”

Derek shrugs, just to annoy him. “It’s not cold to me.”

“We don’t all have magical weather accommodating werewolf bodies!” Stiles huffs, wishing he could cross his arms against his chest.

Derek turns into their driveway and parks before grinning and letting his eyes flash red as he turns to Stiles.

“You could,” he says, flashing red again for dramatic effect before letting his eyes go back to normal.

“Don’t tempt me,” Stiles says, groaning again as he looks down at his arm and thinks about how very annoying the next 6 to 8 weeks are going to be.

“Offer is always open,” Derek says, leaning over to unbuckle Stiles’ seatbelt. He tilts to place his mouth on the juncture of Stile’s throat and shoulder, biting down lightly with blunt teeth.

He smirks internally at the way Stiles’ heartbeat rises, and the smell of arousal that practically sizzles from his suddenly heated skin.

“No fair,” Stiles whines. “Getting me all worked up when I can’t be…vigorous.”

Derek laughs and pulls away before they end up having a wobbly version of car sex in the driveway. Again.

“We’ll just have to go slow then,” Derek says.

“Hell, yeah,” Stiles says, raising his good arm up in a triumphant fist pump. “We’ll Boyz II Men the fuck out of tonight!”

“Please don’t sing,” Derek says, but it’s too late.

“I’ll make love to you!” Stiles belts, “Like you want me to!”

Derek doesn’t know much about music, to be fair, but he can tell that Stiles isn’t remotely in the same neighborhood of the right key.

“I don’t know why I love you,” he says, even as he’s helping Stiles out of the car and into the house.

“My superior singing skills,” Stiles says. “Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Derek says dryly, but he can’t help but smile at Stiles.

“Cash money!” Stiles calls out in delight as their white long-haired cat pads into view, sniffing at the air delicately.

“Meow?” she chirps up at Stiles, swishing her tail softly.

“She says her name isn’t Cash Money,” Derek says, sharing a conspiratorial look with Cashmere.

“You don’t speak cat!” Stiles protests.

“I’m versed in all woodland creatures,” Derek replies, completely straight-faced, only breaking out into laughter when the reference hits Stiles and he starts to laugh.

“Ok, Kronk,” he says, leaning down to give Cashmere scritches.

She arches up into it for a brief moment before trotting off to do whatever she does during the 80% of her life where she wants nothing to do with them.

“Pizza?” he asks Derek, who already has his phone out and is tapping away on one of the delivery apps.

“Soon,” Derek promises, holding up his phone to show the order has been accepted.

“Then careful sex!” Stiles declares, before his mouth cracks open in a huge yawn.

“Or maybe sleep,” Derek says, arching a single eyebrow in amusement.

“Mmm,” Stiles says, reaching out to Derek with his good hand. “I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

Derek laughs and pulls Stiles back against his chest, tucking an arm around his left side and hooking a thumb into the loop on Stiles’ jeans.

“After dinner, we’ll put that super sexy cast bag on your arm so we can shower. I’ll even wash your hair.”

“Ugh,” Stiles says, wrinkling his nose at himself. “That shouldn’t turn me on. And yet.”

“And yet,” Derek agrees. “And then we’ll get into bed and I’ll let you make me watch The Witcher for the tenth time.”

“Don’t be jealous of how sexy Geralt is,” Stiles chides, leaning his head back onto Derek’s shoulder so Derek can rub his cheek along his neck.

“I could take him,” Derek huffs.

“Yes, dear,” Stiles says, eyes closed and swaying gently as Derek rocks them in place.

“Can he full-shift into a wolf?” Derek asks. “No,” he says, answering his own question resolutely.

“Not a werewolf,” Stiles feels compelled to point out.

“He’s not even scary!” Derek continues, huffing again. “And his wig is bad.”

“And he should feel bad,” Stiles agrees. “Now let’s go sit down before I pass out. You can tell me all about your issues with Geralt of Rivia from the couch.”

“Gladly,” Derek says. Stiles just laughs.

Later that night, they’re clean and cozy in bed, watching Yennefer scream out her pain to the world.

“She’s gonna cause so much trouble,” Stiles says happily.

Derek considers it for a moment and nods in agreement.

“Good for her,” he says. “With a life like that, she deserves a happy ending.”

Stiles looks over at Derek from where he’s propped up against the headboard, but Derek’s full attention is still on the screen.

“Yeah,” Stiles says, smiling more than a little dopily at the man he loves. “She sure does.”

THE END

#moretomhardy #stereksanta20 #*fic20 #*gifts20

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alecscudder1987 · 3 years ago

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egan! i just read your autistic/synesthesia cas fic and really really liked it. the way you write synesthesia is really cool, i've read a couple books where a character has it and i think it's really interesting! if you're comfortable could you talk about your knowledge/experience with synesthesia? anyway yeah the fic was amazing :))

hi!! oh my gosh i'm so glad you liked it!! <333 thanks for dropping by.

take my answer with a grain of salt: i'm self-diagnosed with several types of synesthesia, but i've researched it quite a bit and talked to people who have different types than me. be sure to do research on your own if you're interested in writing about it or passing on this info :) you can learn more here for starters.

i gave cas chromesthesia, which basically means he associates sound with color. i don't have this type of synesthesia myself, so i came up with a system to keep track of the sound/color combos.

red = anger/sadness/bittersweet (often combined with purple)

orange = surprise/unpleasentness

yellow = tense

green = happy/excited (most often in reference to dean)

blue = self-doubt (cas uses this about himself throughout the fic)

purple = love <3

i don't know anyone personally with this specific type, or if their colors coordinate to moods, but it was an interesting narrative device to play with!! (if people picked up on it haha)

my experiences under the cut ♡♡

my synesthesia:

grapheme-color synesthesia: words -> color

spacial-sequence synesthesia: dates -> specific places

the first one is pretty common, but i also have mild aphantasia, so that combination basically means i just /know/ what colors words & numbers are instead of actually /seeing/ it in my head. for example, february is lavender. july is rust red. 7 is green. 3 is yellow. "book" is dark orange/brown.

the second one is less common, and actually pretty interesting to me!! in my backyard there is a strip of property that butts up against the neighbor's fence. there's a step down to a hedge area you can't walk in parallel to the fence. that step is the year 2000. the 20th century goes into the hedge. the 21st century continues on from the step to the little path in our backyard. 2020 passes the dying rosebushes. so basically, whenever i hear a year spoken about or see it written down, i can pinpoint it to a spot in my yard. it's really helpful for memorizing years that stuff happened in history! the 1600's go off into my neighbor's yard, if you're wondering.

hope this made some sense. thanks so much for asking, and i'm really glad you liked my fic!

#<3333 #this one got long #ty so much for the ask!!#mailbox #anon #synesthesia #fic #blue bird i know your beat dot jpeg

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alfredosauce50 · 4 years ago

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What makes me human [Cyberpunk! America x reader] 03

Wordcount: 2, 486 Rating: E10+ for mild violence

"Who's your friend you decided to go thirty miles away for?"

Chapter synopsis: Alfred tries his best to get you on board with his cause, but he runs into a hurdle. It only took one day for your disappearance to be noticed. He starts to resort to extreme means to keep you under control. The reader is referred to as she/her.

03 - The company’s resident mercenary

You always wondered why such a huge city was so overcrowded.

For the whole of your life, you thought it stretched on endlessly. But even Twilight city had its limits. Outside of its perimeters was the rest of the continent, having degenerated into lawless wastelands. Everything you couldn't see may as well have been a warzone. And so, everyone converged into this singular location--one of the last standing megalopolises of the world.

“I hate to say this, but I can’t blame you for not knowing anything about the current state of the country. I mean, it’s not like you have to deal with it when you’ve got your daddy paying for everything.” You were about to cut him off to defend yourself, but he pressed a finger to your lips.

“Think about it this way. If I was some bigshot CEO looking to rule the world with the tech I make, and I only had one kid, I’d shelter the shit out of them. Even if that meant censoring stuff they saw and lying. You know, so they don’t realize how bad I fucked everyone over.”

Once again, you were forced to confront how much you didn't know. No amount of study could make up for what your father kept from you.

“Fucked over, huh? By what, cyber-sickness? Capitalism?”

And he used to think America had it bad in the 20s.

“In a manner of speaking. But that's only the tip of the iceberg.”

Alfred picked up his gun from the nightstand to wave it in front of your face. You shrunk into your neck.

“You see this? I didn't think something so good for killing people could be ever considered old school. But it is.” He set that down to sit on the mattress by your side. “I don't have the kind of money for shit like particle blasters. Luckily, I've got my own upgrades. But so does everyone else.”

Everyone now had all sorts of gizmos and gadgets to fuck around with, he'd said. As criminals gained access to deadlier arsenals of weapons, they got louder. Cockier. Gangs, hustlers, religious cultists, and politicians all strived to outplay one another. And they weren't afraid to butt heads in public spaces. Malls, restaurants, and clubs didn't just get shot up anymore. And it was all thanks to your old man.

You didn’t know how to feel. You wanted to make this out to be positive, especially when Alfred was taking his time removing the self-blame from your shoulders. But how much better could it be when he just placed it all on your father? The man who raised you with nothing but pure doting and care? Strong, loving, and capable. It was all you ever knew. But it was selfish to live in this deluded fantasy.

“… Everything was supposed to be good. The science.” As you spoke in a faint murmur, a fleeting childhood memory drifted into your head. Your dad was holding you over a display table of metal limbs. They were for soldiers who lost them, he'd said. You were only six, then. "He said it could fix everything."

This wasn't how you imagined your wake-up call to be. But it was finally here, long-due and much deserved.

"Until it becomes a business model." Alfred laughed dryly. By now, you had your legs spread out comfortably spread out on the mattress and your head on a pillow. He did too, and you could only infer he was planning to share the bed with you. And you were not a fan.

You sighed.

"... There's a first time for everything."

“I'd agree if your company was new. But it isn't-” He murmured, sliding right under the blankets with a satisfied sigh. “–no more talking. Maybe tomorrow I’ll give you a crash course bout’ everything that’s wrong with the world. I’m dying for some sleep.”

Wait, hold on.

You were surprised he even needed rest. But more importantly��

“Hey, who said we were sleeping together?” You huffed, or more accurately put, growled. His disregard for your feelings was really showing here. It was only the first night of being kidnapped by the guy, and he couldn’t be so kind as to give you some space? “Get off. I’ll call the reception for some extra blankets.”

Reaching out to his shoulder, you gave him a few nudges to where he let out a displeased groan at. Without opening his eyes, he rolled away and pulled the blanket further up his body.

“No way. I’m already comfortable.” Alfred grumbled. “Thought you already agreed when you didn’t say anything.”

“Please.” You spoke firmly, this time with audible frustration lacing your voice. “I don’t feel comfortable. You’re a guy, and you couldn’t shut up about how much better you were than me with all your upgrades. Can I have some peace of mind just for tonight?”

“… Even if I slept on the ground, I could just get up and attack you when you’re asleep,”

“I really needed to hear that.”

And to think you were beginning to see him as a decent person. You couldn’t believe you were okay with helping him out on this mission of his, not even for a second.

“I was just making a point. My sex drive died ages ago.”

“Asshole.”

“Thanks.”

As much as you were against sharing blankets with your captor, exhaustion overwhelmed you in the small hours of the night to leave you passing out unwillingly. Awakening from perhaps the worst sleep in your life, you dragged yourself out of bed to begin your first day on the job. You were not a secretary for your old man anymore. Instead, you were an accomplice to a renegade cyborg who planned a coup d'état. Could you believe it? Not yet. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the idea, but then again, nothing exactly happened yet.

And it didn’t look like anything would happen for a while.

“So… What’re we doing today?”

While the blonde got up two hours earlier than you did, he really took his time fiddling around with his tech. Whether that was tinkering with his gadgets, cleaning his gun, or running diagnostics on himself, he looked far from done when bits and bobs were scattered across the table he was sitting at.

“Uh… Breakfast?” He answered with an unsure tone, never tearing his concentration away from what looked like a mini flatscreen floating in front of him–a holographic screen displaying the inside of his forearm he booted up.

It didn’t sound like he was invested enough to elaborate on breakfast with all focus on his metal limb, so you took the passing silence as a chance to take a gander. Instead of seeing a patch of skin peeled away to reveal flesh and veins underneath, it was a plate that looked like skin he unscrewed, and under that, pure metal. Metal plates, metal cogs, metal springs, you name it.

Cybernetic enhancements never failed to mesmerize you, no matter how many times you've seen them.

You were even curious about what other upgrades he had in his body.

“Should I have slept in, or are you nearly done tinkering with yourself? You began, trailing your eyes up to his. In the dead center of his left iris was a light blue glow you assumed to be an optical implant.

"Almost. Just gotta run one more test–” As he spoke, he did exactly as described. “–And screw this back on.”

Letting the plate of skin attach itself to his arm like a magnet, he quickly screwed in the corners from the loop of tools he left on the table.

“And… We’re all set.” Standing up at that, he put away all his things, whether that be his pockets or attached to his belt. “What do you wanna eat today?”

“I don’t know. Thought you’d be calling all the shots.”

Alfred shot you a grin.

“And you’re right. But everybody’s gotta pitch in an idea for food, don’t they?”

He certainly didn’t look like a junkie, considering his flawless appearance and all. So the last place you expected to have breakfast in was a greasy, hole-in-wall burger shop half an hour away. Why he came here when there were plenty of better options on the way there was beyond you. You guessed he was making the most out of his very inhuman body– to eat like he had free healthcare. While he technically didn’t, his body made it seem that way.

The air in the shop was thick with heat and oil. And outside was the bustle of city life. In other words, the last place you wanted to be.

“Hope this isn’t too shabby for you, princess.” He remarked, stretching out that last word.

Watching him dig into his share with great gusto, you followed suit, but with much less enthusiasm.

“It’s fine.” You muttered, flashing him a displeased look nevertheless. “I just thought we’d maybe eat in a more discrete place, you know.” You darted your eyes around your surroundings to place more emphasis on your point. Here you were, out in the open in a busy, outdoor dining court, the hottest spot in this particular district of the city. Nothing could leave your mouths without another soul picking it up, accidentally or not. It could’ve been anyone, like the many passersby on the pavement, or patrons sitting literal meters from you.

“But this is the most discrete place we can be.” The blonde hummed, taking another bite out of his sandwich. This left his next few sentences muffled by his full mouth. “This is where nobodies go. This is where I go. So if you’re here, you’ll blend in with the crowd.”

Raising a brow at that, you glanced around warily one more time.

“It’s weird I’m more careful about this than you are.”

Speaking of being careful, why were you cautious in the first place?

Shouldn’t you be relieved when he was going about this without a care in the world? Widening the chance of your rescue? Perhaps you were already converted by the man–-what he said last night definitely struck a chord in you. What more radical ideas could he implant in your brain, rewiring it to understand the world for what it was? He was like a breath of fresh air in this smog-ridden city. Something about him made it hard to leave.

But who were you kidding?

This wasn’t some sappy Bonnie and Clyde situation with a sci-fi twist. You certainly didn’t have any positive chemistry with the guy, and you had next to no idea what he was really planning. If he was to steal the chip, destroy company research, and backtrack their progress, how was that supposed to guarantee peace? Was his next step to dismantle Mizumoto Optics itself, followed by its rivals? Corporations nowadays were the law itself, and the police were their lapdogs.

Without them, would there be any order left?

Wariness contorted at your face, but this time directed at Alfred himself. The more you thought about it, this whole mission was beginning to sound like a pipedream.

You lifted your gaze to the foodcourt once more. Immediately, your senses were consumed by lively chatter, friendly voices of vendors, and the bustle of life. This was what made this suffocating city breathable. And to think it could all be taken away– you couldn’t accept it.

“Al, about what you said yesterday. Just what exactly are you gonna do with the chip? I agree with why you want this, but I don’t get how you’ll pull this off.” Breathing out a sigh, your frown only deepened at the sight of his nonchalance.

“I’m starting to think your definition of peace is different from mine.”

It was frustrating he wasn’t taking you seriously. But tables would start turning the moment you’d stand up.

Out there in the crowd stood a man with dark red hair you recognized to be none other than your bodyguard.

The one who dropped you off in your neighborhood, unaware that he failed his task that day to protect you.

“… Allen?” You whispered. While your heart burst with joy, Alfred’s sank to the pit of his stomach. He knew that name from somewhere. And it didn’t take him long to put two and two together. Glancing over his shoulder with eyes wide with shock, he found himself staring at a beast of a man.

There he was, standing in all his glory, Mizumoto Optic’s resident mercenary. Your father’s most trusted aide, and to you, a personal assistant and bodyguard. But to Alfred, the foil to his plans and the one to kill him.

Pulling out his gun from his jacket pocket, he cocked it. But he wasn’t aiming it at him.

He was aiming it at you.

Glowering at you with his coldest gaze yet, he trained the barrel in between your eyes. “Go up to him and say you’re with a friend.”

You froze. Was he going to shoot you if you didn’t comply? Without another word, you stood up shakily and did as told. With a gun fixated on the back of your head, watching your every step, it was impossible to go against his demands. So while you neared the man with tanned skin and tattoos all over, a sign of home, it was daunting to realize you were going anywhere but.

It hurt to see his face light up.

“Hey! There’s my girl.” He grinned, picking you up off your feet for a tight embrace. “Where did you run off to without me? You’re not here seeing a secret boyfriend I don’t know about, are you?”

Once he set you back down on the ground, you managed a soft smile, but it couldn’t be without a light tremble.

“No, actually. I’m here with a friend.” You responded with a laugh. “I don’t think any guy would want to date me when you’re always around.”

Unbeknownst to you, he was much more observant than you expected. He was just one of those kinds of people. Allen definitely came off as more of a meathead than anything, all muscle but no brain. But he was your father’s right-hand man for a reason. This guy was notorious for how unpredictable he was among his colleagues. One second he was hot-headed and trigger-happy, then the next, calm and calculating. Like now, while he deciphered your body language and read you like a book. And yet, he’d do this under the pretense of a heartwarming reunion.

Allen gave you a ruffle on the head before he gloated over what you said.

“No shit, dollface. Why would ya need anybody when you got me anyways?” Slinging an arm over your shoulder, he started to walk you back to where you originally came from.

“So…” He murmured.

“Who’s your friend you decided to go thirty miles away for?”

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