#mila ft. jihoon — thread i.

[fadinglights]

this  is  against  everything  that  mila  should  stand  for  and  violates  every  possible  code  of  ethics  that  she  should  strictly  adhere  to,  but  the  heart  wants  what  it  wants.  however,  when  the  topic  she  has  been  consciously  evading  resurfaces,  she  knows  she  has  to  do  what  she  has  been  pushing  back.  “we  have  to  let  this  go.”  mila  finally  speaks,  the  words  carrying  the  weight  of  her  internal  struggle.  whatever  this  is,  it  isn’t  going  anywhere  and  neither  is  he.  for  all  that  she  knows,  this  could  be  another  mind  game  to  manoeuvre  his  way  out  of  what  he  rightfully  deserves.  newfound  conviction  settles  in  her  eyes  and  she  wills  herself  to  never  falter  again.  “i’ll  refer  you  to  someone  else.”  her  voice  trembles  imperceptibly,  betraying  the  emotional  turmoil  that  churns  within.  she  will  write  something  along  the  lines  of  her  therapeutic  approaches  being  ill-fitted  for  his  specific  needs.  they  will  never  have  to  see  each  other  again.  fingers  instinctively  clasp  around  her  notepad,  a  telltale  sign  of  the  stress  she  is  under,  but  she  musters  a  professional  smile  nonetheless.  “this  should  be  our  last  session  together,"  she  forces  herself  to  say,  her  voice  tinged  with  bittersweet  regret.  "thank  you  for  opening  up  to  me.  i'm  sure  that  dr.  andrews  will  have  the  expertise  to  guide  you  in  the  ways  you  truly  need."

@vicletnight

[fadinglights]

she  should  have  known  that  a  man  like  him  would  be  nothing  but  bad  news.  still,  it  doesn’t  keep  her  foolish  heart  from  becoming  more  intrigued  over  time,  falling  into  the  webs  deliberately  woven  by  him.  perhaps  it  is  true  that  she  is  too  empathetic  for  her  own  good  and  it  can  easily  backfire  on  her,  when  she  is  surrounded  by  dangerous  people  on  a  daily  basis.  people  who  are  master  manipulators  that  will  stop  at  nothing  to  have  a  taste  of  freedom.  she,  of  course,  doesn’t  think  so  poorly  of  him  or  else  she  wouldn’t  have  felt  what  she  feels  —  but  perhaps  now  is  the  time  to  start.  to  rewire  her  mind  so  she  can  repulse  these  forsaken  emotions  entangling  in  her  chest,  when  living  without  them  would  be  much  easier  than  embracing  them  for  what  they  are.  “  —  why  wouldn’t  you  want  to  talk  to  someone  else?”  they  both  know  why.  “you  haven’t  even  met  him.”  she  states  matter-of-factly,  as  if  there  are  no  other  concerns  worthy  enough  to  be  acknowledged.  “he  has  many  years  of  experience  behind  his  belt.  he’s  great  at  what  he  does.”  the  more  senior  psychologist  is  supposed  to  be  better  at  this  than  her  —  surely,  he  wouldn’t  have  allowed  himself  to  be  caught  in  a  dilemma  like  this.  she  shouldn’t  care  about  what  decision  jihoon  ultimately  decides  to  make  and  how  it  might  affect  his  prospects,  but  she  does.  her  voice  is  lower,  tinged  with  frustration  when  she  adds.  “don’t  make  this  harder  than  it  has  to  be.” / @vicletnight

jihoon knew this was a situation he had prepared himself for since the initial incident happened. he knew that a longstanding relationship (be it professional or otherwise) wasn't anything feasible with mila. she was an intelligent woman that was also compassionate and wonderful at her job, and to ask anything else of her but that when he was simply her client, he knew it wasn't anything that would be too fruitful in the end. despite that, despite everything in him that knew she'd most likely get in trouble at the least, lose her job entirely at the most, he still could feel that undeniable spark when he had kissed her in their last session; and be damned if he knew she didn't feel it, too. if anything, her informing him that he'd be seeing somebody else after this session almost seemed to confirm this suspicion he held just within his chest. knowing he didn't want to keep her around for any of the wrong reasons, his mind automatically falling to blackmail due to his past, he attempted to appeal to her better nature instead. "do you think if i don't talk to anyone else they'll see that as a form of regression?" he wondered aloud, looking from the scars that lined his hands to meet her eyes a moment later. "do you think they'd keep me longer in here, just because i wouldn't talk to anyone else besides you?" they were genuine questions, albeit ones he knew the answer to, but he had a feeling that the other wouldn't want the result he hypothesized. || @fadinglights