#might never be able to play da:o again

[languor-em]

I keep trying to play Dragon Age Origins but my computer is apparently "too advanced" so it keeps crashing. Bonus points because my Xbox, which has the game and the Awakening DLC,, will just,,, not turn on. Lovely

[braincoins]

“But Socks!” you, as the convenient strawperson, exclaim, “as much as I’d love to read your Dragon Age stuff, I’ve never played Origins and/or Awakening! I don’t really know anything about Grey Wardens or the events of those games!”

Well all you had to do was ask, Convenient Strawperson-chan! ^_^ I know Grey Wardens play some small part in DA:I, which seems to be the game most people have played, but I’ll just start from the beginning. I’ll also be including personal headcanons that come up in Dragon Age: Schism, though I will mark them as such.

Under a cut for the sake of people’s dashes. Consider this a first post in a series. (I’ll answer questions that non-strawpeople want to ask, too!)

So, really now, what is a Grey Warden? Well, that depends on who you ask. To most people outside the order, the Grey Wardens are a glorious order of noble heroes! And why is that? Well, they’re immune to the darkspawn taint (which usually kills people) and so they can safely slay darkspawn! They’re also the only ones who can stop Blights!! ...though this last bit of information is often forgotten, given that Blights happen once every few centuries. 

If you ask me, the Grey Wardens are the biggest dick move in Thedas, which is actually part of why I love them. Here’s all the downsides to joining this “glorious order”: 

First of all, the Right of Conscription. Ferelden has it; not sure if other nations in Thedas do? Anyway, it means that Grey Wardens can recruit anyone at any time. In practice, they have to be careful how they wield this tool (especially in Ferelden), but the RoC has been used to save people from hangings or other deadly fates... on the condition that they become a Warden Recruit. So... didn’t want to be Warden Recruit? TOO BAD, YOU ARE NOW. And no, you don’t get a say in the RoC. 

Second of all, there’s the Joining. It turns out that, in order to become a Grey Warden, you have to drink darkspawn blood. And a bunch of other stuff in there, but really now, DRINKING DARKSPAWN BLOOD. You might recognize this as a stupidly dangerous thing to do, given that darkspawn blood KILLS THINGS. But your options are drink it or die, because the Grey Wardens present at the Joining will kill you if you try to back out after learning about this. If you drink from the Joining chalice, you also might die, but your name will be remembered as a Grey Warden at least? Even though you’re dead. And hey, if you live, you... become “immune” to the darkspawn taint, which is to say you’re already fucking tainted so it’s not like it can get worse. Want to know why the Grey Wardens don’t tell people they’re gonna make them drink darkspawn blood? Well, if they did that, people wouldn’t want to join, and we need Grey Wardens. 

Supposing you survive the Joining, there’s the shortened lifespan (10-30 years depending on your sources; my headcanon is just straight up 10-ish years) and the nightmares (that maybe you can learn to tune out). Again, they don’t tell you this until afterwards. Why? Because then people might not want to become Grey Wardens... yadda yadda.

Oh, and forget about having kids! It’s very difficult if not impossible to have children as a Grey Warden! 

At some point, even if you were able to tune the nightmares out, they’ll come back and there’ll be nothing you can do about it. That’s the first sign of The Calling. Because it turns out that the Joining is really just turning you into a ghoul, except very, very slowly. You’re getting close to Ghoul-dom now. Most Grey Wardens choose to die in battle against the darkspawn rather than waiting to be turned. It’s tradition. 

And if there’s a Blight going on? Oh, well, it turns out that the only way to kill an Archdemon is to sacrifice a Grey Warden. Why didn’t they tell you? DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK NOW?!

The motto of the Grey Wardens is “In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.” 

So what I’m saying is that Grey Wardens are SUPER TRAGIC BADASSES. They also wind up pretty cut off from their former lives, so the Wardens become their family. So, basically, SUPER TRAGIC BADASS FOUND FAMILY. I really don’t see how I was not supposed to love them immediately. 

They still have this reputation of “glory” and all that, but so many of their recruits were thieves or ne’er-do-wells saved from the gallows by the RoC. If you look at just the Wardens we have at the end of Awakening (and this is my list, i.e., the Wardens we have in Dragon Age: Schism):

The Warden (aka the Player Character): the Hero of Ferelden, but may have come from questionable backgrounds, depending on the origin you picked. Duncan might even have had to RoC you. If nothing else, much of Ferelden believed Loghain’s lies that the Wardens were traitors and murderers of beloved King Cailan, and that’s a hard thing to come out from under. In the case of Kivral, she’s a Dalish elf, and elves are... not exactly much beloved, the Dalish even less so, as they’re often painted as “savages.” 

Alistair: King Cailan’s half-brother, thanks to their father, King Maric, getting a little something in on the side (”You’re not just a bastard, you’re a royal bastard?”). Kivral didn’t put him on the throne, but you can if you want in your game. In any case, despite being the most experienced Warden in the group (he Joined six months before the PC), he prefers to follow and let the PC lead. Also in love with Kivral (again: my choice; you can romance someone else in your game), who’s head over heels for him. His mere existence is a threat to the throne. 

Nathaniel Howe: Son of Arl Rendon Howe, who backed Loghain and was, in pretty much all ways, a motherfucking asshole. Nate shows up trying to steal shit from the keep Queen Anora granted the Wardens, even though he insists he wasn’t stealing because it’s his stuff. The seneschal at the time wants to hang him. Kivral decided he’d undergo the Joining instead. Along the way, Nate learns about his father’s actions, comes to accept that, yes, his father was a sonuvabitch, and even pays special attention to non-noble/non-human companions, learning about the privilege he’s had most of his life.

Anders: When you first meet Anders, he’s surrounded by dead Templars and dead darkspawn. He swears forwards and backwards that the darkspawn killed the Templars and then he killed the darkspawn. REALLY. Even though he had run away from the Circle and was being hauled back there by those same Templars. In fact, a Templar shows up and wants to drag him off, but you can call RoC and recruit him instead. And also give him a kitten. 

Velanna: Dalish mage exiled from her clan, even though she was the Keeper’s first - i.e., in line to be the next Keeper. She’s trying to find her sister, and that’s the only reason she signs on with you. HATES HUMANS. HAAAAAAAATES HUMANS. SO FUCKING MUCH. HATES THEM. Not exactly a “people person.” Like, at all.

Sigrun: Casteless dwarf who joined THE LEGION OF THE DEAD. In other words, a fucking badass already. But she’s also this adorable ray of sunshine? Like... her life sucked so she made the choice to consider herself already dead and then you can get her to join the Wardens who are basically Dead People Walking, just on the surface. 

Oghren: One of your companions from Origins. A drunken, lecherous pervert of a dwarf, but he also unlocks the Berserker specialization for warriors in DA:O. He basically just shows up near the beginning of Awakening and is like, “Hey, I had fun killing shit with you and I wanna do more of it.”

Justice: Not in Schism, but mentioned in the notes: Justice is literally the Spirit of Justice who has taken over the corpse of a Grey Warden named Kristoff. In regular Dragon Age canon, Justice eventually leaves Kristoff’s corpse and hitches a ride with Anders, whose anger at the Chantry and the general treatment of mages turns him into VENGEANCE. In Schism, Justice departs back to the spirit world.

But I give you this list for a reason: thieves, exiles, casteless, apostates. These are the Great and Glorious Grey Wardens we’re dealing with here. Even Duncan, Maker watch over him, was a rogue and a thief before he became a Grey Warden and eventually rose to Warden-Commander of Ferelden. 

In the time period of Dragon Age: Schism, the people of Ferelden are still recovering from the Blight, from the death of their king, from Loghain’s claims of Grey Warden treachery, etc. Many generations before, there was a Grey Warden rebellion against the then-king, Arland, for his tyrannical ways. The Wardens were slaughtered - either by the king’s troops or by the demons that the Warden mage Avernus summoned in desperation - and the Warden Order was cast out of Ferelden until King Maric assumed the throne and allowed them back in. He even reinstated their Right of Conscription (though, again, you can’t just RoC anyone and everyone all the time; that’s a good way to get it - and possibly the Order again - revoked real quick).

So the Wardens are on shaky ground in Ferelden, where our story is set and centered (just as in Origins/Awakening). There aren’t many of them (see list above because - again, aside from Justice - that’s literally all of them in the entire country) and people are still sort of side-eyeing them. They have Queen Anora’s support, but even that’s shaky, especially while Alistair - who could have taken the throne in her place - is still alive and kicking. The leader of the Wardens of Ferelden may also be the Hero of Ferelden, but, in the case of Schism-verse, is also a “knife-ear” (as the slur goes), and not Andrastian (she’s not Fantasy Christian, basically).  

[theharellan]

101 DRAGON AGE QUESTIONS | not accepting

for the sake of reducing the number of ooc posts i’m answering these all in one and just @ing the people who asked the questions! thank you for them all!

if you sent me one of these btw and rbed this meme yourself and i didn’t send you something, please let me know! i want to send you things back and must have missed you reblogging the meme. this includes non-mutuals.

1. How did you get into Dragon Age? | asked by @kaaras-adaar & @dreamerlavellan​

Sort of by accident, actually. It was the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in university (2011) and summertime is generally a time of inactivity and depression because I cannot tolerate the weather here. My dad happened to own Origins and I picked it up because??? Fantasy? RPG?

Starting the game I saw you could play as a dwarf, who have been my favourites in fantasy since a child as The Hobbit is among my favourite books. Then after that I fell in love with the worldbuilding for dwarves and Gorim, my first actual Dragon Age love. I was more or less hooked after that. DA was actually not my first Bioware game, I was obsessed with Jade Empire as a kid so like Origins appealed to me immediately despite being far less fun to play than literally any other Bioware game I’ve ever played. The characters and world more than made up for it.

I beat it relatively quickly and my dad bought Dragon Age II which had come out earlier that day, actually against my suggestion because I’d heard it wasn’t good. And in this instance my dad forgetting something I said turned out for the best because I ended up enjoying DAII more in some respects. While it took me a while to join the fandom as a content producer I was a consumer and certified DA trash from then on.

2. Have you finished all three games? | asked by @kaaras-adaar

Kskjdfs yes. I’ve beaten each at least 4 times, but probably more like 8. The only thing I haven’t played are some of the Origins DLC because as much as I enjoy my replays I am so ready to be out by the end of the game (and I have the worst luck with Awakening bugs) and I also don’t have Sebastians DLC b/c his never goes on sale individually and I refuse to spend more than like $4 on him.

3. How long did it take you to finish the series? | asked by @kaaras-adaar

I honestly don’t know. I think it took me like a week to beat Inquisition without 100%ing it, I’d say my first playthroughs all probably took about that long. I tend not to do everything in my first playthrough. Like shard collecting didn’t happen until round two, etc.

7. Favorite DA:O backstory? | asked by @dreamerlavellan & @fatefaulted

I’ve played through all of them and I enjoy them all except Cousland, but my favourite is Aeducan. I enjoy the politics, the culture, the aesthetic of Orzammar. I love Gorim Saelac and the surprising amount of depth to this character who is designed to be thrown away after the prologue. I love how it ties you to the Darkspawn threat in a bigger way than any of the origins accomplish. I love how it ties you to the Orzammar plot later in the game, and playing Aeducan first is probably one reason why I adore that branch of the game. It’s a good origin that establishes its world really well and has great characters to boot.

11. Share a pic of your favorite OC from any DA game. | asked by @dreamerlavellan

I just want to share pics of my girl and Solas’ future husband.

Ian Lavellan, non-Inquisitor written by @theshirallen

Thora Cadash, dwarven Inquisitor and default Inquisitor for this blog written by... me lmao.

22. Favorite DA2 party combo? | asked by @fatefaulted

My main Hawke is a mage Hawke, so this party is horrendously imbalanced, but: Varric, Merrill, Isabela. They all just like each other and I think that’s neat. Although in act one my favourite is probably Carver, Merrill, Isabela / Varric. Unfortunately the game doesn’t want me to have a warrior in my party.

24. Favorite main-story quest from DA:I? | asked by @kaaras-adaar

It’s hard to pick between In Hushed Whispers and In Your Heart Shall Burn. I love seeing the red lyrium’d companions and the dark future of Thedas, and speculating on what happened in the intervening year. I love reflecting on what it must do for the Inquisitor to see that and have it be undone. I think it sets up the rest of the game really well, and in ways Champions of the Just doesn’t do quite as well.

In Your Heart Shall burn is a simpler quest but I think the power and emotions in the quest are so raw. Playing this the first time was riveting and I was on the edge of my seat. The triumph of closing the Breach, the strangeness of your first encounter with Cole (whose appearance at the gates is another reason I prefer IHW tbh, I think it’s more tension building than Dorian’s), Corypheus, crawling through the snow. Capping it off with The Dawn Will Come and the journey to Skyhold idk, it’s just such an emotional high point in the series that every time I replay I get goosebumps.

25. Favorite DA:I place? | asked by @fatefaulted

It’s a tie between the Frostback Basin and the Emerald Graves. I love the lore in both, as elf trash I prefer the lore in the graves especially if I can include the Din’an Hanin into that category. But the Avvar lore and Ameridan is also Very Good, and while I adore the giant trees of the graves the Frostback Basin clearly was able to have more resources poured into its design, and as a result the different sections of the map have so much more character.

A close runner-up is the Hinterlands, as I think the quests there are fun and it feels like home. I enjoy returning to it. Which is good, b/c I’ve played through it... a lot... I think loving it might be a coping mechanism, but also I love the vibe of the early game that’s best captured in the Hinterlands.

32. Favorite DLC mission overall? | asked by @fatefaulted

Trespasser is up there with Shivering Isles as my favourite DLC ever produced. Its hits every emotional beat I think it needed to hit, set up the next game with greater detail and intrigue than the initial epilogue, and I’m honestly dying to get to replay it again on Thora despite what it does to my nerves. The first time I played it I could feel my heart beating faster like wtf me.

37. Blood magic: yes or no? | asked by @hopewrought​

Would I use it myself? No. Morally I think it can be reprehensible but also neutral, much like any other magic in the game. In certain characters I think even if used for good it may encourage unhealthy habits, but I think it can be learned to be engaged with in better ways.

59. Who was written really poorly? | asked by @theshirallen you can’t hide behind anon I know it was you

Oghren fucking Kondrat. When I think about the reasons Origins is my least favourite game he is among them. With Oghren there was a really good chance to portray an alcoholic abuse victim, suffering from severe mental health issues, and still mourning his wife, with the respect it deserves. Instead he just... is a gross sexist dwarf and his alcoholism is mostly played for jokes. And then he comes back in Awakening and... continues to be a gross sexist dwarf whose alcoholism is mostly played for jokes.

There could have been some really interesting stuff with Oghren, the Warrior caste of dwarves I think would suffer from issues similar to qunari warriors, where when they can no longer fill the purpose society has dictated they must serve, what then? They can’t do anything but fight. There could be comradery with Sten, or perhaps Zevran or Alistair, or any of the companions who have had the path their lives took dictated to them by societal forces they had no say in (even if they are happy with that direction). There are snippets of good stuff in here, the line “let us show them our hearts, Warden, and then show them theirs” is one of the best of the good-byes the game offers us imo. It’s a shame about what came before.

Like there are other characters, such as Sera, who I think were done dirty by their writers, but Sera at least got some growth in the DLC and there were attempts to address criticism of her character. Oghren in Awakening was just kind of a take two of an already poorly-done arc.

60. Who do you wish had been given more story? | asked by @hopewrought​

I wish Briala had more, like that she had some impact on the story in universes where Gaspard isn’t crowned with her as his puppetmaster. She and the elves reappears in that but not if you reunite her with Celene or exile her, and I think it would’ve been neat. I also wish she’d had a chance to interact with Solas in some small way given how many parallels were drawn by one of his own agents during Masked Empire.

I also wish we had more about dwarves in general in 2 and Inquisition. We get some great lore in Inquisition that was set up in 2, but with our only dwarf companion being Varric, who honestly has a relationship with his race that at times is comparable to Sera’s, it pulls a few of its punches. I really think they have dwarves set up to be important players in the next game, with their architecture featuring heavily in the dev diary, buuut no dwarves to be seen. So who knows. Just give me dwarves in the next game who aren’t Varric Bioware pls. Let me kiss one maybe.

61. Favorite NPC? | asked by @kaaras-adaar​

I’m not going to count advisors even though they kinda are NPCs and I’m going to answer one for each game so uhh...

Origins - Anora

DA2 - Feynriel

DA:I - Krem

Bonus - Lord Woolsley, the only unproblematic DA character

63. Best story moment? | asked by @ghilannainguideme

It’s a tie between the journey to Skyhold and the talk with Solas at the end of Trespasser and the resulting disbanding of the Inquisition (if you so choose). I really can’t separate them because I think the reason Trespasser works so well is how it calls back to the very beginning of Inquisition and that moment with Solas in the snow. It’s triumphant and sad, something’s ending, the fellowship is breaking, but you know all of you will continue to work towards a better world apart.

In DA:O I think it’d be saying good-bye before the final battle and in DA2 I think the moment where you can tell the Arishok he was right to take in the elves who killed that guardmen is good. Probably one of the reasons why I think Hawke-Arishok work so well as a protagonist-antagonist combination.

81. Favorite fanfic? | asked by @ghilannainguideme​

I don’t read a lot of fanfic, actually. Save what I read on here, which I do count, but idk if other people do.

My favourite writers to read are @theshirallen​, obviously. Joly wants to tweakIan’s personal quest but I think the version they have written now is still very good and you can find it here. I love reading Peace’s stuff and find their smut especially spicy in the best possible way, you can find a Merrill/f!Mahariel piece here! Gaia doesn’t write on Tumblr much these days, but she wrote a wonderful Tug/Sketch (the companions from Leliana’s Song) that you can find here.

I follow so many talented writers and I can’t list them all but here are a few I can fire off real fast: @theshirallen / @ghilannainguideme / @seahaloed / @sabraelin / @valorcorrupt / @mercysought / @hopewrought / @ofrevas / @skyheld have all moved me with their words at some point, be it in fic or rp.

82. Favorite fanart/fanartist? | asked by @ghilannainguideme

Again I just can’t choose jsdfks.

The easiest way is to just link my Solas fanart tag. Obviously this favours Solas artists, however, so also here’s a link to thedaswlw where there’s a boatload of amazing fanart all of wlw.

Of people I’m mutuals with I know @abracafockyou, @kaaras-adaar, @dalathin (currently inactive but I gotta link them), and @syntharts​ are all very talented artists.  I’m also a big fan of destinyapostacy, nipuni, elbenherzart, starscollected (on twitter), and many more.

97. What’s your favorite DA mod? | asked by @ghilannainguideme​ & @hopewrought​

I’ll chose one as many as I want to apparently from each game again, b/c why not?

DA:O - I have to admit I find this game hard to mod because nothing can really salvage the gameplay or look of the game. I need Better Dwarf Model so I don’t have to look at the odd dwarf proportions in the game (the women have arms for days). Mostly I have armour mods. I like Grey Wardens of Ferelden so I can match Alistair in the final batte and have everyone in uniforms in Awakening. I do like Kirkwall Exports because I can put Zevran in the robes of the notorious pirate tho. I haven’t used this mod yet but I also love this mod I retweeted this morning.

DA2 - Again, I don’t mod 2 very much. You could probably make some kind of chart for correlating my enjoyment of a game versus my urge to mod it, with the more I love a game means I want to mod it more. With 2 I enjoy the combat and overall design of the characters more so I mostly use a couple of tweaks, my favourite is Ishs Scarf for Merrill which just adds a cute blue scarf to Merrill and hides the fact that elves in this game have weirdly long necks. Oh and a mod to fix the weird hand dirt.

DA:I - Equal Opportunity Solas mod, I bought the game again on PC just to use it. Being able to play Solas/Ian for screencaps was everything tbh. Other mods I enjoy are More Banter, which while I have better luck with banter it is nice to be able to count on it. I installed it this latest pt and I have heard location comments that have never triggered before. Black Hair for Everyone has changed my life because finally Thora doesn’t have grey hair. No Dirt Buildup is also amazing, as the dirt can cause some really weird blotting on PCs that’s especially noticeable on dark-skinned Inquisitors.

99. Where would you live (Ferelden, Orlais, Free Marches etc?) | asked by @heysales​​

Probably Ferelden. It is fantasy England and hey if I make it past Inquisition maybe nothing will ever happen there again. Somewhere in the Free Marches might also be chill. Not Kirkwall. Maybe Starkhaven? Honestly tho I just want to live in the Frostback Basin. Have a spirit friend. Shake hands with nugs.

101. If you could meet your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor, what would you say? | asked by @dreamerlavellan​

If I met Thora I’d tell her I’m proud of her. She’d be confused, but that’s ok.

[unofficialdragonageday]

How Dragon Age Has Changed Me 

I wasn't really sure how to start this, because it might be a little heavier than what is expected. Trauma is tricky and it likes to rear its ugly head when you least expect it. My world fell apart 2 years ago, out of the blue and it was like being thrown into choppy water with the under tow dragging you slowly down. Everything I loved stopped meaning anything,  it didn't matter if it was loved ones, art or my hobbies, I was vanishing. I wanted to vanish, I'd lost my power and what was left after that didn't seem worth it. 

One night on a whim, I was on origins and saw da2 and da:o were on sale. I'd played dragon age inquisition years prior but never really delved too heavily into the characters, outside of some light fluffy fun. I started out of order, jumping into Dragon age 2, and within the hour I'd met Fenris. Flawed as he might be, here was this beautifully written character trying to get his power back, to find freedom and control in his life, a power that had been stolen from him. 

I found myself smiling, like genuinely smiling for the first time in a long time. Out of no where I felt that first hint of inspiration coming back and desire to get back *my* power, to be in control. Over time I found steady ground again, I found my imagination and I've begun to write. Through my characters and their ever growing stories, I've been able to find my own voice again. Through Dragon Age, I've been able to face trauma and be a bad ass hero, who will never ever let anyone take her power again. So thank you Bioware and especially writers like Mary Kirby, Patrick Weekes & David Gaider for helping save my life and helping me realize that I am the hero of my own story and villains and powerlessness, have no place in it.

Submitted by Liz M. @grixdale​ (https://twitter.com/Grixdale)

Thank you for joining the celebration!

[bodyofvvater]

25 dragon age questions babey

got tagged by @arlessaofamaranthine yeehaw

01) Favourite game of the series?

da:i definitely has like, the most nostalgia value to me? but the characters from da2 are my absolute favorite so i’d have to say a tie between those two

02) How did you discover Dragon Age?

soph ( @triforks ) introduced me to da:i back in like 2016 or smth i think? and i thought was cool but kinda forgot abt it again, but then early last year another friend introduced me to the tavern songs and i started listening to the soundtrack too and i knew I Had To Own It Immediately

03) How many times you’ve played the games?

ah shit ... well first of all ive never actually completed da:o, bc i didnt get properly into until after i hurt my wrist, so it’s been like impossible to actually do so. i think ive completed da2 three times (julian, agnes, flynn), i would’ve played it more if i hadnt hurt my wrist toward the end of agnes’s playthrough. and then da:i ive played .. i think 7 times all the way through? (elinor, athel x4, althea, axeline)

04) Favourite race to play as?

elf babey

05) Favourite class?

MAGE BABEY

06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

i usually change dialogue options based on their personality, and a few major decisions have varied, but i do have a tendency to make characters who would make very similar decisions

07) Go-to adventuring group?

again, i dont have much experience with da:o, but for da2 i usually go varric, carver (or fenris, if carver is dead), and anders, and for da:i i either do dorian, cassandra, vivienne; dorian, blackwall, sera; or iron bull, varric, solas

08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

i wanna say a tie between agnes, athel, and axel. theyre all characters i put a stupid amount of thought into considering i rarely actually talk about them

09) Favourite romance?

tie between isabela and dorian. sera wouldve been up there as well if lukas nastyman hadnt fucked it up

10) Have you read any of the comics/books?

nah

11) If you read them, which was your favourite book?

havent read them

12) Favourite DLCs?

descent and trespasser both have very special places in my heart. honestly i think it’s like 60% bc of the soundtrack but beyond that i absolutely love the interactions between the inquisitor and their companions

13) Things that annoy you.

lukas nastyman and everything he has touched (except carver which im still amazed he wrote)

14) Orlais or Ferelden?

they both kinda suck politically most of the time but aesthetically i would say orlais

15) Templars or mages?

mages babey!!!!!!

16) If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

my hawkes are in different universes, and so are my inquisitors for the most part, altho i do imagine if he hadnt been the inquisitor athel still wouldve joined the inquisition so he’s there in all of them

17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

literally all i remember is elvira cousland named her mabari dane

18) Have you installed any mods?

i would if i knew how but i dont and i have yet to find a guide that doesnt confuse the shit out of me fdjfgkfdjk

19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?

elvira wasnt entirely against the idea, but when it came down to it i think things like having kids and growing old were a part of her plan that she wasnt expecting to have taken away from her. i wouldnt say she regrets becoming a warden, bc the work she’s doing is important, but i do think she wishes she’d been able to make more of an informed choice, or really have a choice at all

20) Hawke’s personality?

purble

21) Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition?

nah i just put whatever has the highest armor rating on them and call it quits

22) If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

elvira would take her parents far, far away where howe couldnt find them

agnes would’ve never left her mom’s side when a serial killer was on the loose

flynn would’ve kept carver far away from the deep roads

elinor would have run away with sera before corypheus showed up in haven

axel would have never said a word to solas after he taught her to seal rifts

and athel wouldnt change anything, i think. redcliffe showed him the importance of details and of people, and i think no matter how much he regrets something or wishes it hadn’t happened, he knows that things might have turned out much worse if it hadn’t

23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

idk if it really goes against canon specifically, but a big part of agnes’s character arc (in my head, at least) was how terrified she was of becoming an abomination. a lot of what she did was motivated by the need to stay in control of herself and the fear of turning into the very thing that was used as an excuse to oppress her people

24) Who did you leave in the Fade?

the warden, usually. my hawkes all mean the world to me i cant leave them behind jkdfjgkd

25) Favourite mount?

harts are very good

[actual-lich-queen]

How do u feel about Cullen

I really sympathized with his anger in DA:O after his ordeal in the tower. I didn’t agree with what he was saying, of course, because if I could do a pacifist run of DA, I absolutely would. I am one of those “everybody lives!” dorks. But that fear and anger he lashed out with like a wild animal after enduring anything between weeks to months of physical and mental torture (depending on when you do Broken Circle) seemed really realistic, and in a lot of ways, relate-able to me. His anger is valid, although his actions are not.

By the time DA2 came out and he shows up again, I’d completely forgot all about him. The angry templar who was probably in desperate need of therapy and would probably struggle with his anger for the rest of his life is a very minor character when you almost always play a rogue (and I do). It took me awhile to realize that he had appeared in DAO. So my initial reaction when Hawke runs into Cullen threatening a templar recruit with a sword was “What an asshole.” And not in the good purple-Hawke asshole kind of way.

But when I did actually figure out, I thought that his trajectory from Ferelden to Kirkwall made sense. It is logical to me that he would seek out and be happy in an environment that was extremely black and white, which Meredith certainly provided. I particularly like (in a storytelling believable character sense) how Cullen continues to buy into and uphold the Mages-bad/Chantry-good until chaos is LITERALLY RAINING DOWN ON THE CITY and he realizes that this philosophy isn’t right, and it’s not who he wants to be, either. I believe it is at the moment that Cullen lets Hawke go that he actually begins to actually deal with what happened to him 10 years ago.

The biggest problem with Cullen’s arc is probably the lack of agency for the advisers in Inquisition. Unlike the companions, the advisers will support the Inquisitor regardless of anything, which I feel really cripples their characters. In Cullen’s particular case, it masks his atonement arc. He states that he joined the Inquisition to atone, which I think is a call back to Sten joining the Warden to atone. The difference being Sten can leave when he disagrees with the Warden, Cullen is locked in. So if the Inquisitor re-establishes the Circles and the Templars, Cullen can’t really express his opinions on it. iIf he could actually LEAVE the Inquisition when he felt he could no longer find atonement for his past actions there, it would probably really change the discussion we have about his character.

In fact, aside from the opening where Cullen wants to seek out the templars for help, you really have to go out of your way to hear what he was hoping that would accomplish. Cullen actually prefers it when you conscript the templars over allying with him, but this is easy to miss as you don’t get a “Cullen Disapproves” popping up when you make decisions (side note: seeing what Leliana approves and disapproves of would be 100% hilarious and I feel robbed that we do not get this), instead you have to talk to him. A lot. And remember what he said when you make the four other possible choices. If you even bother to make those choices at all. I wouldn’t have except I’m trying to be through in my fanfic research. 

He’s actually a lot less angry when you ally with the mages than when you ally with the templars. Believe it or not. And to get the clearest picture, you have to play a warrior who takes on the quest to become a templar from the trainers and then go talk to Cullen before completing it and he will tell you he wants the Templar Order to die. He wants to help the templars that remain live the best lives they can with their lyrium addiction and that’s it. He never wants another templar made. Of course then he has to qualify it with saying that the Inquisitor is welcome to go and become a templar if they wanna because like I said before, being an adviser really cuts into his agency. But I felt like this was a HUGE character moment for him and shows his struggle to become a better person and what his idea of what that might look like to him, and you only come across it if you pick a particular specialization for a particular class and happen to chat with him at a particular moment in time.

tl;dr Cullen’s arc could be an interesting character study about how to unlearn hate and atone told over the course of 3 games if it wasn’t cut off at the knees by the necessary game mechanics of how the advisers work.

[hawkbucks]

It’s my fanfic blog and I get to choose what fandom to do fic for. 

DA:O, Julien Tabris/Zevran, sort of Alistair’s P.O.V. Let it be known that I would gladly die a thousand deaths for my Best Boy Ali. Many typos, probably. 

“You and Zevran earlier--” Alistair leans against a tree; they’re far enough from the main camp that no one would be able to hear their conversation, especially considering the hushed tone that Alistair is speaking in-- “what was that all about?” Although he and Zevran do get along quite a bit better than they did before, he’s never been too... fond of his and Julien’s relationship. It just seems too convenient in his opinion. Zevran was originally sent to assassinate the both of them, after all. All Julien needs to do is turn his back for a second too long, sleep for a minute longer than he usually does... not that Alistair would actually voice these concerns of his out loud. 

Well, actually. He did. Once. That got him a pissed-off Julien telling him to mind his own business. He can’t really help it though, can he? Julien has quickly grown to become one of his closest friends--being the only survivors of a terrible betrayal tends to build camaraderie. Add that to the fact that it’s painfully obvious that this is Julien’s first real relationship and you’ve got a good reason for Alistair’s “big brother instinct” to shift into overdrive, only made worse by the small scene they have caused a few hours before. Rapid whispers were exchanged, then Zevran left for his tent in a huff, shoulders tense, leaving Julien awkwardly standing there before joining Leliana in cutting up some vegetables for tonight’s stew. 

Julien crosses his arms. “Zevran offered me his earring. I said no.” 

If there’s one thing that Alistair likes about Julien, it’s his straightforwardness. No having to decipher any insufferably vague sentences or tying him down as he’s beating around the bush. “His... earring?” Alistair’s head tilts towards the side. “I didn’t know he actually took those off, honestly. Why’d you say no?” As far as he’s concerned, they’re both head over heels for each other. There’s seemingly no reason for Julien to have rejected anything coming from Zevran. 

“I told him that I didn’t want it unless it meant something. I want commitment. I don’t want this to just be bodies warming each other because of the Blight, because there’s no one else available.” Julien gestures at Zevran’s tent, looking like a mere blob of cotton awash in yellow-orange light. Zevran hasn’t exited that tent since their little tiff. “I... like him, Alistair, but I don’t know if he likes me the same way. He got shifty when I asked him about it, then he took it away from me.” He looks away from Alistair at that point, gaze turning down onto his boots. “I know it’s partially my fault. I shouldn’t have tried to rush him like that. I know about his past relationships; commitment wasn’t exactly a prominent part in any of them.” He drags a single hand down the side of his face. “I’m an idiot.” 

“Hey, you said it, not me,” Alistair chuckles. Then, after a moment’s silence, he sighs, shaking his head. “I think you guys’ll be fine. Just give Zevran some space. Maybe try not to mention the c-word next time you guys talk.” He reaches over to pat Julien’s shoulder. “He cares for you, you know. I doubt he can stay mad at you for long. You guys will bounce back from this.” 

Julien manages a small smile at that. 

Alistair can’t help but to watch as Julien and Zevran have yet another conversation by the bonfire in the middle of camp. He’s seated next to Leliana, the both of them playing a game of Diamondback. 

“We’re five hands in and you haven’t even made a joke about how the Priestess card could poke an eye out with her crown,” Leliana comments. “It’s your turn, by the way.” 

“The Priestess card could poke an eye out with her crown.” Alistair exposes a card of his own. “Sorry. I’m... distracted.” 

“You’re watching them, you mean.” Leliana places down a Magician card to complete her Priestess play, winning the game. “You know, you’re usually better at this. But I suppose I can see the entertainment in watching our resident couple.” 

Alistair’s cheeks flush and Leliana titters, hiding her mouth behind the tips of her fingers. “I mean--” he frowns and gathers up his cards-- “Julien’s my best friend. I want to watch out for him.” 

Leliana hums as she takes Alistair’s cards and reshuffles the deck with the grace of a Bard. Her hands are a blur and, honestly, Alistair is starting to get a headache just looking at it. “You’re cute,” she teases before dealing the cards back out. 

Alistair grumbles something, then he catches Julien drawing Zevran in for a kiss out of the corner of his eye. He fully turns away. He can give them some privacy in that respect, at least.

“I’m engaged.” Julien drops this bomb as he walks up to the simmering pot.

Alistair snorts his drink, eyes watering at the burn. “You’re-- shit-- fu-- you’re what?” he splutters. Is he hearing correctly? Did Morrigan slip something into his water? His porridge? Maybe the Taint’s caught up with him? 

“Zevran offered me his earring again.” Julien ladles out some porridge into his own bowl, eyes squinting and hair still bedraggled, before sitting down next to Alistair. It’s dreadfully bland, something that Zevran has complained about time and time again, but they don’t have the luxury of spices when they’re constantly on the road trying to save the world. “It was a proposal. He was... trying to propose to me the first time, he just didn’t know how to say it.”

“Someone that has been through the stuff he has, I’m not surprised. I don’t imagine that he’s had plenty of experience in that area.” He’s overheard some of their conversations. Zevran’s prone to some flowery language, but all in all... he understands. Perhaps he judged Zevran--and by extension, his and Julien’s relationship--too harshly. That’s something to reflect on when he’s lying in his tent and trying to ignore the cicadas outside. “At least it worked out.” 

“Yeah.” 

They continue eating in relative silence. Alistair makes a mental note to pick up some pepper the next time they pass by a city no matter how expensive it might be. 

“So...” Alistair sets his bowl down at his feet. “I can be the best man, right?” 

“As if I would have anyone else.” 

“Alistair.” Zevran pops up beside him.

Alistair is pleased to say that he didn’t scream. Much. Morrigan gives him a dirty look. “Maker!” He clutches the shirt that he was folding close to his chest. “Would it kill you to make a little noise? I could’ve had a heart attack!” 

“Ah, but you didn’t!” Zevran gives him that shit-eating grin that he’s so used to seeing. “I came here to thank you, my friend. I was also going to ask you to be my best man, but it appears that I am too late as you have already offered to be so for Julien.” 

“You were going to ask me to be your best man?” 

Zevran waves a hand. “In case you did not know, all of the people I could have asked are dead. And, excuse me, but I doubt Oghren or our stoic friend Sten over there would be up for the task.”

Sten grunts in agreement. 

“But, yes. You have grown to be a good friend, Alistair. It brings me great joy to be able to fight by your side. And, you know, if you ever want to join us...” 

Zevran cackles out loud as Alistair buries his face in his shirt. 

“This is Alistair,” Julien says, gesturing at Alistair. A female elf--Shianni--stands in front of them, her red hair kept bobbed with a couple of decorative ribbons tied around a handful of locks. “This is Morrigan--” Morrigan simply quirks her eyebrow up-- “and this is Zevran. My fiancé.” 

“A pleasure to meet you.” Zevran bows. “I see beauty runs in the family.” 

“Wow.” Shianni looks at Julien, both of her eyebrows raised. “You’re already engaged again?” 

“Again?” Alistair blurts out. Zevran himself turns to Julien with a questioning look. 

Julien shakes his head. “It’s a long story. Not one you would want to hear.” 

Alistair is pretty sure he’s sweating buckets. After an arduous trial in the Alienage (during which they met Julien’s father, a lovely man who offered Alistair a cup of tea) and the rescue of Queen Anora, he’s watching as Julien duels Loghain--the entire reason they came to Denerim--for the throne of Ferelden. 

Julien’s not going to be the one on it, no. 

Alistair is. Julien’s fighting for him. His entire destiny rides on his friend’s blade. 

“He’ll be fine,” Zevran says. “You are worrying too much.” 

“Maybe you’re not worrying enough,” Alistair bites back. 

“Nonsense. Julien’s a fine fighter. I taught him some tricks, and I’ve heard from him that his mother was no slouch either.” Zevran clasps his hands behind his back. 

Alistair takes the time to scrutinize Zevran a bit: his back is ramrod straight, perspiration forming on his brow as the corners of his mouth are dragged down. He might not be saying it, but Alistair knows that Zevran is just as nervous as he is. 

The sound of metal hitting stone reverberates around the entire room as Loghain collapses on the floor. 

Julien’s eyes look extinguished of all light, a brand new gash on his cheek that’s more than likely going to scar. He picks up Loghain’s sword and tosses it at Alistair, who fumbles before catching it in his gloved hands. 

“It’s your turn,” Julien says, “Your Majesty.” 

Anora glares at Alistair, tears in her eyes, as he brings the sword down on Loghain’s neck. 

King. It still seems wrong on Alistair’s lips. His words can’t wrap around the syllables just yet. He’s king. He got his revenge on Loghain. For Duncan. For all the other Wardens needlessly killed after that coward pulled out.

He watches, like he usually does. He watches as Julien takes Zevran’s hand into his own and kisses the palm, both of them illuminated by the moon. 

A sudden longing makes itself known in Alistair’s chest. He’s not interested in them, per se, but rather what they have. Julien is his best friend, yes, and Leliana always listens to him whenever he needs her, but he doesn’t have anything like that. He doubts he ever will. 

He’s covered in blood. There’s a darkspawn corpse at his feet. Even more are littered behind him. The air stinks of corruption and decay, questionable liquid flowing in between the cracks in the ground. 

He thinks about what Morrigan told Julien before she ran off. About how a Warden must die in order to kill an Archdemon. There was a... ritual that she said she could perform to stop this from happening, but neither he nor Julien wanted to be a part of it. When the time comes, he’s more than willing to be the one who strikes the final blow. 

This is a Grey Warden’s duty. In death, sacrifice, right? He knew what he was signing up for. 

All of their breaths come ragged. After a simultaneous fight with two ogres and a particularly hardy Hurlock mage, they’re not in the best shape right now. Alistair winces as he rubs a poultice on one of his bruises, and Wynne is chugging lyrium potions like there’s no tomorrow--and there very much could be no tomorrow if they don’t succeed right here, right now. 

“I love you,” Julien whispers to Zevran. 

Alistair can’t help but to eavesdrop. They’re so bunched together after all, there’s no way he can avoid overhearing their conversation. 

Zevran responds with a kiss.

Alistair turns away once more. 

“Promise me you’ll protect Zevran,” Julien says--no, he demands. He’s bleeding from the temple. Another cut recently joined his face after a Genlock slashed his upper lip. The Archdemon is lying weakened behind them, body shuddering with each breath. There’s no way it’s going to get up anytime soon. 

This is it. 

“Julien--” 

“Promise me.” There’s a wild glint in his eye. His grip on his dagger gets tighter, knuckles turning white. 

“I can do it,” Alistair counters. “I’m a Grey Warden. It’s my duty.”

“We’re both Grey Wardens. It’s as much my duty as yours. Plus, you have a kingdom to run.”

“Does Zevran know?” 

Julien flinches. 

Zevran looks at the both of them as he’s helping Wynne up to her feet. 

Alistair levels Julien with a look. “Let me do this. What could a better first act as king be besides stopping the Blight? I die, so what? Ferelden still has Anora.” 

“You’re the one that wanted to be king, Alistair,” Julien shoots back. “I fought so you could become the damn king. I can’t let you do this. I’m sorry.” 

Alistair’s hand reaches out to grab Julien’s wrist, but he’s a millisecond too late. He runs after the man, wide-eyed, but there’s only so fast he can go in his clunky, heavy armor.

“What is going--?” Zevran takes in Alistair’s panicked face as the man draws closer and his head immediately whips towards Julien, his breath catching in his throat. He starts to take off, Wynne standing in shock behind him, but he’s stopped by Alistair’s hand closing around his elbow. 

“He wanted to do this, he wanted to do this,” Alistair says, sounding more like he’s reassuring himself than reassuring Zevran. “He told me he wanted to do this.” 

“Alistair! Alistair! ” Zevran tries to rip himself away from the other man. Once he realizes he won’t be able to get out--stomping on Alistair’s foot would do nothing considering the armor and he’s not tall enough to be able to headbutt the man--he goes slack. “He is going to die, isn’t he?” he sounds uncharacteristically quiet. Despondent. 

Alistair stays silent. 

“Bastard.” 

Julien regards them with one last look, one last I love you to Zevran. He raises his dagger--

Zevran reaches out. 

--and swiftly brings it down on the Archdemon’s head. 

Wynne gasps as a column of bright light immediately shoots up into the sky. Julien screams in pain, writhing, but unable to let go of the dagger. 

Alistair feels Zevran’s body shaking. 

He looks away. 

Alistair lays down a few flowers near the statue. It’s been a couple of years. The statue of Julien--the Hero of Ferelden--has just been completed. Its bronze plaque shines in the morning sun as it stands proudly in the middle of Redcliffe. 

Being king hasn’t been easy. He’s been dragged here and there and here and there and he’s never really had the patience for all of this politicking and cursory smiles. Still, he has a job to do and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do it well. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” a familiar voice says. They sit down on the base of the statue, swinging their legs. “Aren’t you supposed to be in the castle, Your Majesty?” 

The corner of Alistair’s mouth quirks up. “Aren’t you supposed to be hunting down your fellow Crows, ser Arainai?” 

“Ah-ah-ah.” Zevran points a taloned finger at him. “I am not a Crow anymore. Not since...” not since he threw himself into the assassination mission, fully expecting to die, not since he ended up making friends among the others, not since he and Julien got together, not since he finally told Julien he loved him, not since, not since, not since. “It has been a while.” 

“I bet.” Alistair smiles at him. “But you’re... are you doing alright?” After Julien’s funeral, Zevran worked for the throne for a mere year before the Crows found him again and he was forced to leave. Alistar’s heard a couple of their master assassins have gone missing. Zevran’s doing, no doubt. 

Zevran shrugs. “Some days are worse than most, but I do believe I can live with it. By the way, your sculptors got his nose wrong. The nose tip--” Zevran clicks his tongue-- “it was wider.” 

Alistair laughs. 

[carcinoaquarium]

alright kk, don't say i didn't warn you lmao: Dearest Karkat, I am the anon whom you blessed with that dragon age tangent and i was bettered for it bc that tangent was great. When I played da:i I knew jack-all about the characters and literally only chose to be an elven female bc she had the most romantic options and I was going in thinking 'hell yeah imma romance the first available qunari of the series, you kidding me?' (1/7)

And then i chatted w solas and the literal first 'flirt' option w him is to tell him you aren't going to harass him for being an apostate and that was so /sad/ to think about, like he's so...lonely? Not to mention his greatest fear is dying alone?? Also he was hella intelligent and had interesting conversations and was suave as fuck, and I ended up being like "iron bull who?" and got my hEART RIPPED FROM MY CHEST, OW because solas has gotta be one of my fave villains in media to date. (2/7)

Also loghain, whom I didn't really appreciate until after I'd beheaded him. Whoops. Actually, I'd love to keep talking to you about dragon age?? i haven't been able to chat w a new(ish) fan in ages and these games have such depth. (also, dorian was absolutely my inquisitor's moirail, too, tbh. Although that's technically a romantic relationship, and Dorian is gay...? They're def BFFLs, tho, once Dorian was less racist against elves. Everyone in dai was kinda racist against elves.) (3/7)

Actually, elf Inquisitors kind of got a really fucking short stick in da:i. Not only did all of thedas hate them for being an elf, but there wasn't a single elf in that party that didn't challenge and beat on their religion (which is worse if they weren't already questioning it, as my inquisitor was), and even the people you can date don't seem to comfort you once your entire understanding of the world comes crashing down around your eyes. (4/7) (shit, i might hit the ask limit)

To a lesser extent this happens to the dwarves, too! Like, idk if you played the Descent dlc, but spoiler-free the dwarven religion is kind of picked apart and in the Tresspasser sequel we find out the ancient elves did a lot of shitty subjugating of the dwarven race, and not to mention the qunari are implied to be a race made through scientific genetic SPLICING of human and/or elven genes with fucking /dragons/, and it's like?? Man, give these fantasy races a break. (5/7)

Humans were the only ones who weren't really fucked with, they just kinda showed up from the north and invaded thedas while all that other political stuff was going on. But playing as a human's always seemed so boring to me, lmao. Did you play DA:O and DA2, too? (6/7) I feel like 200% nerd power right now,but the amount of effort and heart bioware put into these games is fascinating and i can't help but love dissecting it. Feel free to respond in private if u don't wanna clog ur blog w DA. (7/7)

--

YES. LET’S DO THIS. PROBABLY GOING TO BE A LONG REPLY SO I’LL READ MORE THIS SHIT.

ALTHOUGH I ONLY PERSONALLY PLAYED THROUGH ONE ROMANCE I OF COURSE HAD TO WATCH ALL OF THE COMPILATIONS ON YOUTUBE BECAUSE THAT’S JUST THE KIND OF GLUTTON I AM. SO YEAH. I AM FAMILIAR WITH SOLAS’ ROMANCE ARC. AND MAN I HAVE TO SAY YOU HAD TO BE MASOCHISTIC AS HELL TO RIDE THAT ONE OUT AND ENDURE THE MOST HEARTBREAKING OUTCOME OF THEM ALL. BLACKWALL WAS BAD ENOUGH, BUT AT LEAST, YOU KNOW, IT GETS BETTER IF YOU CHOOSE IT TO. 

DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT PLAYED OUT BEAUTIFULLY. BUT SADFPSDHFHSDF I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE SEE THAT THROUGH. 

AND I SERIOUSLY DID NOT SEE SOLAS’ TURN COMING. IT WAS AMAZING. HE WAS SO CONVINCING THE ENTIRE TIME. JUST THE BOOKISH APOSTATE ELF WHO LIKED TO PAINT MURALS AND FANBOY OVER THE FADE IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER. FUCKING. IAMBIC. PENTAMETER. THAT WAS PRETTY AMAZING. ERIDAN APPRECIATED THAT. ALTHOUGH IT WAS HARD NOT TO THINK OF SOLLUX WHEN WE SAID HIS NAME. ESPECIALLY ERIDAN. 

fuckin sol

BUT HOLY SHIT. I NEVER SAW IT COMING. AND YET WHEN YOU PLAYTHROUGH A SECOND TIME YOU SEE ALL THE LITTLE HINTS. MY SECOND PLAYTHROUGH WAS FULL OF ME SCREAMING AT THE SCREEN 

“OOOOOH, SUUUUUUURE. TELL ME YOUR VAGUE ASS REASON FOR BEING HERE AGAIN, YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT.”

“I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, DREAD WOLF. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE.”

“YOU KNOW WHAT? THE FADE IS BORING. SPIRITS ARE BORING.”

“MAYBE I SHOULD SKIP THESE ELVEN PUZZLES THIS TIME, EGGSPONGE. OR MAYBE PISS IN THIS WELL. OR FIGHT THE IMMORTAL ELF DUDE. HMMMM??"

“I’M RUBBING MY BULGE AAAAALLL OVER THIS FEN’HAREL STATUE. YEAH. THAT’S RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT??”

“WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GIVE YOU A *HAND* WITH THAT QUEST??? OH I BET YOU WOULD.”

SERIOUSLY THOUGH I THOUGHT THE WAY SOLAS’ CHARACTER ARC UNROLLED WAS MASTERFUL. THE WAY HE PULLS THE INQUISITOR ASIDE NEAR THE END OF THE MAIN GAME TO TELL THEM THAT THEY EXCEEDED HIS EXPECTATIONS AND THAT HE TRULY VALUES THEM AS A FRIEND... I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER REALLY KNOW IF HE MEANT IT BUT I LIKE TO THINK HE DID. AND THAT IT GENUINELY SURPRISED HIM THAT THE PERSON HE WAS OUT TO MANIPULATE NEARLY CHANGED HIS WORLD VIEW IN THE END. THAT’S HOW YOU WRITE A THREE DIMENSIONAL ANTAGONIST.

FFFF. THE RACE SHENANIGANS. DRAGON AGE AND SKYRIM REALLY LIKE TO PLAY UP THE DISCRIMINATION AND OUTRIGHT PERSECUTION OF ELVES, WHICH STANDS IN SHARP CONTRAST TO THE TOLKIENIAN LORE IT ALL STEMS FROM WHERE ELVES ARE (MOSTLY) POWERFUL AND RESPECTED AMONG HUMANS. I LIKE IT THOUGH. IT’S AN INTERESTING SPIN. THE DWARF HATE TOO. I FUCKING LOVED THE WAY THE ORLEASIAN COURT NOT-SO-COVERTLY THREW SHADE AT YOU IN THE WINTER PALACE FOR BEING A DIRTY LOWBLOOD INFERIOR RACE. IT MADE PUTTING THEM ALL IN THEIR PLACE A WHOLE LOT SWEETER. AGAIN. WISH FULFILLMENT.

I HAVE TO AGREE THOUGH THAT THE GAME SOMETIMES KIND OF DID A SHITTY JOB OF ACKNOWLEDGING THE ELF AND DWARF INQUISITORS’ PERSONAL STRUGGLES WITH THEIR RACE, AND I GUESS THAT COMES DOWN TO THE SHIPLOAD OF DIALOGUE CUSTOMIZATION THE DEVS ALREADY HAD ON THEIR PLATE. I REMEMBER BEING ESPECIALLY PISSED OFF TALKING TO DAGNA WHERE SHE FUCKING SEEMED TO FORGET NELLIE WAS *ALSO* A DWARF HALF THE FUCKING TIME. 

AND THEN OTHER TIMES THE GAME WAS RANDOMLY REALLY GOOD IN THAT REGARD. IT WAS HIT AND MISS. ERIDAN DID AN ELF PLAYTHROUGH THAT I SAT IN ON AND I REMEMBER HOW COOL IT WAS BEING ABLE TO INTERACT WITH THE DALISH CLAN IN THAT INSIDER KIND OF WAY. BUT IT’S TRUE THAT PRETTY MUCH NONE OF THE ROMANTIC INTERESTS GIVE YOUR RACE MORE THAN *ONE* PASSING MENTION. CULLEN’S ROMANCE WITH A MAGE PLAYS WAY MORE HEAVILY INTO THINGS THAN SAY THE FACT THAT MALE LAVELLAN CAN DATE A GODDAMN *TEVINTER* ALTUS AND THE SLAVE THING IS BROUGHT UP A GRAND TOTAL OF ONCE.   

AND AS A SIDENOTE THE FACT THAT IF YOU CHOOSE THE NECROMANCER MAGE SPECIALIZATION, DORIAN-THE-GOD-DAMN-NECROMANCER HAS FUCK ALL TO SAY ABOUT IT. EVEN IF YOU ROMANCE HIM. WHICH AMPORA DID. AND HE WAS PISSED. 

SPEAKING OF AMPORA, HE ACTUALLY DID ROLL A HUMAN AT FIRST, BUT FIVE MINUTES IN HE WAS SO BORED WITH HIS CHARACTER HE ALMOST GAVE UP THE GAME FOR GOOD. SO YEAH. I FEEL YOU THERE. 

BUT YEAH. THE SUGAR COATING ON THE CONFECTIONERY ITEM IS DEFINITELY THE FACT THAT THE GAME HINGES ON BASICALLY SOLAS DESTROYING DALISH LEGITIMACY. AND AS A DALISH INQUISITOR IT’S LIKE. OH. OK. SURE. MY LIFE WAS A LIE. NO BIG DEAL. NOW WHO’S READY FOR A VACATION IN TEVINTER BECAUSE BOY HOWDY ME AND MY QUNARI FRIEND ARE DOWN FOR SOME FIRST CLASS NORTHERN HOSPITALITY.

AS MUCH AS I CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT A LOT OF IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I NEVER PLAYED THE PREVIOUS GAMES BUT I ABSORBED THE DRAGON AGE WIKI AND I THINK I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT WENT DOWN. I HAVE DA:O AND I DO PLAN ON PLAYING IT SOME TIME.

THE SADDEST PART IS THAT IT SEEMS PRETTY CERTAIN THAT THE SERIES IS PERMA-DEAD. AND I ACTUALLY WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WHERE THEY SEEMED TO BE TAKING IT. IT’S A FUCKING SHAME.

[valerie-royeaux]

Dragon Age: Origins - Role Playing Game

Hi, everyone!

I started running a DA:O role playing game with a group of friends via Roll20 in... mid-February, I guess. The main goal of this game is to put ALL my ideas and headcannons into this massive RPing project with 4 of the best players I know. I have been testing these ideas in solo games with my wife @element-104 since 2010, so, yeah, I want this to be an apotheosis in my GMing carreer. I’ve posted a few posts about the game already (Thank you SO much for all the feedback, @fereldenpeach), but without giving any context as to what is going on and who the main characters are. So the purpose of this post (and a few others to follow) is to bring you up to speed, generally, on who are the characters, their players, the NPCs and how things are going. Me and Gwen Cousland’s player will be generating most of the content. You can see all the posts related to the game here.

Oh, one more thing: I don’t believe spoilers should be an issue. But they might be! =p So beware.

Background

If you played Dragon Age: Origins, the game, at its beginning, is not very different than the one you find in the videogame. The difference is that this game starts in the spring of 9:29 Dragon, as the characters will slowly advance in their origins towards the main events of the story. As I said before, this is a collection of my headcannons, so here are some of them:

The Grey Wardens are NOT an esteemed order: the Fourth Blight was 400 years ago. While the dwarves of Orzammar and, Cailan specifically, cherish the order, they are very few, with dwindling numbers, and the vast majority of the people do not even know who they are. Put together, the number of Grey Wardens in all of Thedas in 9:29 Dragon would not reach 100.

There is NOT a common language: 8th Century Brittain had a few languages to count. Anyone with a minimum knowledge of language knows a Common Language is a construct that cannot sustain itself. Thus the “English Language” is actually Fereldan. The Orlesians speak French, the Antivans Spanish, etc, etc.

The Dalish are a myth: The Dalish elves inhabit the dense, virgin wilderness, protected from the humans by the very magic of the places they wander through. For all elves who live in human cities, the Dalish are but a tale, and it is the same for the humans.

Magic is rare: The rate of mages to non-mages in the sentient races is about one to every 10,000. The mages are successfully kept in check in the circles, and apostates are very careful about their magic. You can’t go to the Wonders of Thedas in Denerim and buy one robe and a couple of staves.

Sexuality is not open: l really don’t have a reason to say the sexuality taboos of Thedas would be like our world’s. But one of the characters is a lesbian, and the player and I agreed she would prefer her character’s conflicts to be in line with those a lesbian woman would go through in the European middle age. So, in this world, men don’t marry men, women don’t marry women, and any relationship between them is frowned upon, except in few clusters, like the Avvars.

The World is becoming patriarchal: Despite the Chantry and its Prophetess, women in Thedosian society, Ferelden included, are on the way of being only mothers and priestesses. Warring women are increasingly rare, and men are assuming a more decisive role in society. Women are not free to express their sexuality, and a “decent”, “pure” behavior is expected of them. Again, there is nothing in the lore to back this. This was agreed as a conflict source for the female characters, in discussions with their players.

The Templars are NOT able warriors: the knights Templar are an order focused on hunting and guarding mages. Their other duty is guarding chantries. Thus, the Templars are able at wolf-packing individual mages and bringing them down  - either for the capture or the kill. Also, since men cannot join any proper rank in the Chantry, second sons and the male faithful join and spoil its ranks because of their status in secular society. Templars are not apt at massive arm battles, shield walls, wedges, etc. The average Templar would be no match in single combat to the average warrior. But they do can hunt (and hurt) mages.

Timeline & System: As a whole, Thedas is in the technological equivalent of the early 13th Century, exception to full plates, which are the stuff of kings, champions and heroes. The rule system we are using is GURPS.

Characters & Players

So, now that you all know the world state we’re in, here is a bit about the players and characters:

Felandaris

An apostate woman, recently escaped from the Circle with the help of Templar Bran. In her youth, she had been raped and abused repeatedly by Knight-Captain Kendells, brother of the Arl of Denerim. In hopes of losing herself in a mass of people such that her philactery would not be able to pinpoint her, she made her way to the Denerim alienage. There, she wanted to provide healing and succor to the elves, and find a shelter amid the faceless mass who live around the Vhenadhal. 

She starts the game trying to manage to stay hidden, while at the same time dealing with the issues the elves face.

Beorn Molloy

Beorn was the eldest son of a family of freeholders who could afford to send him to become a Templar. He was sent to the monastery against his will as soon as he became a grown, tall, strong giant of man, who could stand against his abusive father and the mistreatment of his mother and more-than-beloved-sister. As a child he learned of the history of the Blights and always dreamed of becoming a Grey Warden (which is an exception to the general knowledge of people about the Wardens). He is a man of deep faith and mistrust in the Chantry as an organization. Beorn started the game in his and Alistair’s joining ritual, after having been recruited along with this only friend in that monastery.

Beorn’s player is also a Dragon Age veteran, and the one whose insisting led me to agree and run this game.

Fionn “Giantsbane” ar Morwen o’ Stonebear

Fionn is an Avvar barbarian who never managed to adhere completely to the many superstitions of his people. From an early age, he realized the Lady of the Skies, Korth Mountain-Father and Hakkon Wintersbreath were flimsy deities who toyed with the destiny of their followers, and thus he bade them no love. This questioning behavior led him to be somehow of a joke theme among his fellow avvar, but never an outcast. The fact that he was not the tallest or strongest of the hold’s warriors added to the general perception of Fionn as a quiet trickster.

Fionn was always fascinated by his opposite: Astrid Cirildotten o’ Wyrmhold, an enormous, strong, battle-driven woman who encompassed all of his desire. He did attempt to kidnap her and marry her according to Avvar custom - only to fail for being unable of carrying her weight - despite her not resisting at all.

In the beginning of the game Astrid is married to another member of the Stonebear hold who did manage to kidnap her. But his mind is distracted with the strange sickness of Storvacker, the hold-beast.

Fionn’s player never played Dragon Age before!

Gwendoline “Gwen” Cousland

Even though Gwen’s player never played Dragon Age before, @element-104 insisted (and so did I!) that she should play a Cousland. As you can see from my url, me, as veteran Cousland, walked her through the specifics of the family, and she created this character even though she has no idea of how the Cousland origin plays in the video game. The difference from the default Cousland is that Eleanor, her mom, died at childbirth, and Bryce married a younger woman years after. 

Gwen has been brought up shielded by the eternal bliss of being a younger daughter, and spoiled by a father, a brother and a grandfather who love her very much and saw to her every whim - including allowing her tomboyish ways with bow and arrow, and allowing her to refuse every possible suitor - even king Cailan himself.

Gwen starts the game accompanying Fearchar MacEanring, her grandfather, in an expedition to hunt a weird bear who Fearchar wants as a prize. In this expedition, he suggests that Gwen should go and meet a good friend of his - another rebel woman, Bann Alfstanna Eremon - in a trip to Denerim, where she intends to confront the son of the Arl of Denerim about a series of slanders he has been saying about Alfstanna. But of course - only after Gwen helps him hunt the bear.

This is all for now - I’ll follow up with another post about the NPCs, and probably another with the current events so far. 

Cheers!

-J

[cactuarkitty]

Random DA:O Thoughts - Part 7.

What the? Zevran is working for that bastard Loghain :O Just saw a cut scene for it. Hmm I’m confused about him now.

Fought a forger who ripped off 5 mages with a fake book haha. It was very hard. I had to target the mage first, he used the fire ball spell I think.

Aww Alistair died :( when he came back though he said his bruises had bruises now. Hehe he’s hilarious!

I like Wynne a lot. She’s so lovely. She’s like the Mother my warden never had. She gave me council on my feelings on leaving the circle and becoming a grey warden. Her voice is gentle, I find it soothing.

Alistair wants me to help him find his sister. :)

So I didn’t feel like doing Redcliff cause I’m scared I won’t be able to save the knights, so I thought I’d go to the forest. On the way a girl lured us into a trap. It was Zevran :O They wasted us!

Decided I’d go to Redcliff after all but the Zevran fight automatically loaded again. Managed to get past it okay this time. I had a few close calls. My whole team died, I had to take a million quick potions and lyrium potions whilst slowly killing the rest of them off. This game is very challenging at times. :)

Omg Zevran sounds like puss and boots. The one Antonio Banderas voiced. XD

On the way out of the area where I fought Zevran, Wynne collapsed :( I hope she is okay.

Sten questioned if I was really a woman. Lol wtf

Wow! I’d given the black grimoire to Morrigan earlier. She found out her mother Femeth raises daughters so she can later possess them. Wtf!! So creepy! So now I have to go kill her. Yikes I doubt that’s going to be easy…

Alistair picked a rose for me :O he picked it in Lothering. He said it was the one beautiful thing amongst the blight, that it reminded him of me. That I was unique and beautiful, like a light in a world of darkness. Wow he’s so sweet! <3

I’m doing the dlc with Shale now. It’s very interesting. I wonder if Shale actually did kill their master. The dust demons were creepy! I was tasked with saving a little girl. When I found her she was talking to a cat who was possessed by a demon. I love the jokey kinda responses like “the cats talking…?”. The demon wanted to possess the girl, I refused… I then did a puzzle (which was easy - I’ve done a lot of puzzles like that in the hidden object games I like). After the demon cat still wanted the girl. Luckily she got scared and ran away. The demon wasn’t too hard. I’m glad I could save her, reunite her with her dad :) He had Cullen’s voice lol.

When Shale said they couldn’t feel the power of the control rod, they asked me to command them to do something. I couldn’t resist ordering Shale to attack Alistair... he was like “Hey!” hahaha! Sorry Al, I love you but it was too funny!

Shale is super funny! Is Shale a girl or a boy? I’m not too sure. Maybe a they? Anyway I loved how Shale said: “Oh another mage! Just my luck!” hehe

Alistair didn’t like when I let Zevran or Shall join the team. -1 point each. Maybe he’s worried Zevran will woo me. Hah!

I let Alistair know I enjoyed his company. What made me go “awww” the most was the fact he said he was glad I was me, and not another grey warden. How sweet is that! <3

Alistair and i kissed! :D +2 to approval, Al loved the smooching. I thought I could keep kissing him and get +2 each time but you only get it once. The kiss scene was lovely. Even had smooching sounds hehe.

I spoke to Wynne. I found out she almost died in the mage tower. A benevolent demon saved her, joining her body. The demon is still there inside her, but growing weaker each day. So she is on borrowed time. I’m guessing I will have to help her somehow.

I kinda have a team I like now. Which is Alistair (take him everywhere - cause I love him and super awesome tank), Wynne (for healing), and Leliana (to open chests). When I get my specialisation I might become a healer so I can take someone else other than Wynne all the time. Like poor Doggo is getting neglected.

You can pester Wynne about the Griffons. I wish they were in the game!!

I forgot to mention this in my first random thoughts post, but when I first played I didn’t realise you could loot the monsters bodies. So I was just running past all of them lol. Luckily I didn’t do that for long and they were only spiders.

On the recommendation of a few people, I bought the Feastday gifts and pranks pack. :D Looking forward to seeing what happens. :D I’d love to buy the other dlcs but it’d end up costing quite a bit so I’ll prob have to get them gradually. The game is so old, they should be cheaper by now.

[talesfromthefade]

Marina Amell x Cullen Rutherford (DA:O Prologue) || angst || SFW || 2489 words

“Jowan, I’m sorry,” she whispers tearfully as the apprentice’s eyes widen in shock, then turn to her with burning fury as the Templars advance on them, Greigor pronouncing a death sentence for ‘the blood mage’ and the Mage’s prison of Aeonar for Chantry Initiate Lily.

“You betrayed us. Betrayed me,” he accuses. “I thought you were my friend. I trusted you.” Marina loses the battle with her tears, as they fall wet and hot down her cheeks.

“I had no choice,” the young woman offers sadly, shaking her head. Irving knew everything, how could she refuse the First Enchanter when he insisted she win the other’s trust, trick him into revealing himself and his plans to escape with Lily in such a way that they could prove the other’s guilt and responsibility in it all?

“I thought you of all people would understand,” he continues and Marina chokes back a loud sob, shaking her head once more. “It’s him, isn’t it? That fucking Templar,” Jowan growls suddenly, hands balling into fists. “Get in good with the First Enchanter and Greigor so they’ll give you privileges and freedoms, make it easier to see him, maybe even turn a blind eye? Was it worth it,” he hisses angrily, snarling like the small, wounded, and cornered creature he is boxed into a corner with Lily by the First Enchanter and several Templars who’d been lying in wait to catch their attempted escape. “Damn you. Damn you all. Maker forgive you for this, Marina, for I never shall,” Jowan vows, pulling an unseen blade from his robes and slashing across his palm before any can make a move to stop him. Blood pools, spatters his robes, then hovers as he casts his spells, a great gust of power crashing into and knocking all those gathered in front of them to their feet. Lily is crying, backing away from Jowan, clearly horrified and in as much shock as Marina that the other would resort to such evils.

Jowan sputters excuses, wanting to be a better, more powerful mage, to prove himself, that he intended to give it all up for her, but Lily backs herself into the nearest corner, cowering in fear, forcing Jowan to turn tail and run before the Templars can collect themselves and give chase. Marina rushes over to the First Enchanter, carefully helping a grateful Irving to his feet, before cautiously approaching Greigor with him who immediately rejects both their help. Dusting himself off he quickly orders two Templars to collect Lily and ‘get her out of his sight’ before turning his attention back to the Circle’s newest Enchanter and First Enchanter Irving. Greigor spouts something about Irving being irresponsible in the way he chose to handle the situation, of not being able to trust Marina’s loyalty to the Circle or even her own mind after spending time in the company of a blood mage.

Marina for her part, only dimly registers what is being said, searching the gathered Templars while the two older men argue until her gaze alights on a familiar form, as the Templar takes off his battered helmet to reveal tight blonde curls. She cannot afford for her attention to linger on him, even if half the Circle- mages and Templars alike seem to relish whispering about the two of them. She is momentarily relieved, however, and lets go of a breath she had not even realized she was holding when she observes that besides having the wind knocked out of him by Jowan’s spell, he seems no worse for wear.

The Grey Warden, Duncan, she met and escorted to the guest rooms of the tower approaches, just as the Knight-Commander is winding up, and suggesting at the very least there will need to be a full-inquiry into the events that have transpired and allowed a dangerous mage to escape their grasp. Suggesting that there are greater concerns and more powerful forces at work, the Warden offers to recruit Marina not only to fight for the King at Ostagar, but to press her into the service of the Wardens themselves instead. Greigor blusters, but Irving’s lack of reaction is far more telling. He expected this, perhaps even desired as much for her from the start, Marina thinks watching him as Duncan continues to argue with the Knight-Commander. Two years ago, had she been presented with any reason or opportunity to escape the tower and the Circle, she might have jumped at the chance. Marina doesn’t fool herself in thinking that her life is as bad as some of her fellows, and the tower is the only home she has known for most of her life having demonstrated magical potential and been snatched away from her family by the Templars at a very tender age, but that hasn’t stopped her from seeing it for the gilded cage that it is. Two years ago, the chance for such freedom, to prove herself like this, and with such a distinguished order as the Wardens, would have been a kindness. It still is, she supposes, there are plenty within this very tower who would jump at the chance, kill to be in her shoes.

But she can feel wide, sad, amber eyes trained on her without even looking up to meet them. Irving and Duncan pose it as a question, make it sound as though she has a choice, while Greigor makes it all too clear he won’t grant her the same patience and courtesy now she has cost him an initiate and caused his order to lose track of a potentially dangerous blood mage. Life in the Circle will not be what it was before if she remains here. The thought of leaving makes a cavity of the place in her chest where her heart should beat, but can she really stay knowing full well the Knight-Commander will always be watching, never trusting, and never allow her so much as a stolen moment of conversation with him again?

No. She’d rather die, and Cullen would be better served to move on- better able to keep his promises to the Templars without her near. And to die a free mage, to die fighting for her country and countrymen, for the hope that one day her fellows might not fear- might even respect and treat her kind as equals- it isn’t such a terrible fate, she thinks. She swallows hard, gathering her courage and finding her voice again, before confirming that it would be an honor to join Duncan and his order in their fight against the Darkspawn, while doing her best to avoid the young Templar’s gaze.

There is little need for her to take anything with her. Even less that the Enchanter actually possesses, but Duncan manages to lead her quietly away from a still arguing Irving and Greigor before turning her loose with a sympathetic expression that rather hurts to look on, and the excuse of collecting her things, so that she might say her goodbyes. There’s nothing in her room, save for a mostly empty trunk with her old apprentice robes and staff and a journal containing notes from her various studies. She’s not even slept in the bed yet, sheets and quilt untouched, having only moved in this afternoon after passing her Harrowing and being promoted to the Senior Mage’s quarters. Still she stands there for an unaccountably long time at war with herself, one foot towards the door, the other the bed, irrevocably torn.

She wants to see him. Wants to say goodbye. That can only be what Duncan had intended in giving her this time before they leave. But��� what is there to say? What can they do, but stand to hurt one another further? A goodbye might put some of her heartache at ease, but Marina doesn’t for a moment allow herself to believe it might cure it, and what might such a thing do to Cullen? Can she really be that selfish?

She’s resolved herself to go and find Duncan again so that they might leave when the door creaks on its hinges as it’s gently pushed open, as the familiar clinking of armored boots against stone floor follow after. Once again choice has been taken away from her. But at least, for better or for worse, the choice was his and not someone else’s on their behalf, the young woman thinks, slowly lifting her head, turning electric blue eyes up to meet his. Maker, but the pain of his gaze, of knowing what follows is beyond anything she has ever felt.

“My lady,” he says softly, bowing his head to her in greeting, carefully checking for any watchful eyes or ears- Templar or mage, before pulling the door shut behind him to grant them a moment’s respite and privacy. Marina smiles softly, just as she always has at his use of the title, before her eyes cast down to the floor, finding it too painful yet to look at him for long. It has no meaning here. Her family name too, worthless from the moment she accidentally cast her first spell. A child, barely more than eight, and a stupid tantrum because she was too young to go play with the older children like her siblings Leandra and Gamlen. Still, when he calls her such, for a moment she feels like a lady, can pretend that she is one, that she is anywhere but here, that they are anyone but themselves, two people who can love and be together without the odds and the whole world seemingly stacked against them.

She thinks briefly of Anders. Of her friend’s many escape attempts. Of his most recent one after Enchanter Karl was assigned and relocated to the Circle in Kirkwall. Of the lover’s whispered promises to each other in the dark the night before they’d been split up. ‘Ten years, a hundred years from now… Someone like me will love someone like you, and there will be no Templars to tear them apart.’ She hopes Anders managed to find and free them both, that the Templars never catch them. That they might find the happiness it seems she and Cullen are never meant to. A good Andrastian would probably say that there is a point to all of it, a grand design. Cullen seems to have such faith, but if Marina Amell ever did, it has long since waned. She sees no beauty, no higher purpose in all of this, only pain.

“My brave knight,” Marina returns softly with a tearful half-smile, still staring at a particular stone on the floor at her feet as he crosses the room to stop in front of her, one gauntleted hand slowly and with infinite care reaching out, and lifting her chin, drawing her eyes back up to his, before cupping her cheek, cool gleaming metal caressing her pale, freckled skin, fingertips weaving gently into her soft blonde locks. They are a breath away from each other. Closer than they have ever been permitted or managed before. And somehow, he already feels farther away, more out of reach than he has ever been to her. Slowly and with the same kind of infinite care the mage lets her hand reach out for him, fingers to caress his jaw, a warm palm to flatten against his cheek, relishing the slight rasp of barely there evening stubble.

“M-Marina, I… “Cullen whispers softly, frowning a little when the words won’t come. But what is there to say? So much, and yet so little will do either any good now.

“It will be alright,” she soothes softly, her other arm wrapping carefully around his waist to keep him close as she allows her forehead to press, melt against his own. “I will be alright,” she promises, though she knows as well as he does it is not a promise she can truthfully hope to keep, certainly not forever, or with the path that has been laid out for her future. “All is as the Maker wills it,” she whispers softly, hoping against hope the words will be of greater comfort to him than they are to her, even as he draws in a shallow and shaky breath against her, arms dropping to her waist to pull her as tight against his chest as his armor will allow for without hurting her. It is such a little thing. Far too little, but it must be enough. This moment all they will ever have.

He starts to try and speak again, no more successful than his previous attempt as she carefully places a finger over his lips to stop him, then slowly removes it, chasing his mouth with her own. It is a gentle kiss. Tentative. Chaste, but full of the utmost tenderness and fondness for one another. The first they have ever shared. The only one they shall ever share. She takes her time with it, they both do, all the time they can afford. Hands grapple with one another’s hips through armor and clothes, but not to grope, merely to reassure themselves that the other is there, to anchor themselves to one another, to this stolen, all too fleeting moment of happiness before it is taken from them. Please, she thinks perhaps a bit desperately because she knows she cannot bring herself to speak the words aloud, cannot bear the thought of shattering this moment with a reminder of the loss and pain that will swiftly follow it, be safe, be happy.

Duncan knocks, then enters, and he must know, even as she manages to straighten herself up and Cullen has backed away to a more respectable distance, but the older man only looks sympathetic, and says nothing, only asking if she is ready. She is not. But, Marina thinks sadly, sparing the other man a sidelong and mournful glance, she is unlikely to ever be more ready than she is now. She nods to Duncan, taking her better staff in hand, tucking her notebook into the small pouch at her belt. She gives the room one last parting glance, considering before snatching a small square of cloth from the top of her trunk. A handkerchief. Poorly stitched, from when her mother had been trying to teach her the finer points of embroidery. The only thing she was able to keep from her life before- a life before magic or the Circle, a life where they might have been afforded better, more than this. She crosses the room once more, and hugs him tight, kissing his cheek, before tucking the small token into his hands with a sad smile, and follows Duncan out of the room and back to the waiting boat that will carry her across the lake and to the destiny that awaits her far to the South.