#might make one of these my icon even tho ive only had my current one a little while

[helluvahotmess]

how are people not lining up for the birdpuss????

[lostacelonnie]

Congrats on surviving even more school & good luck on the inevitable more that comes after! Also good luck on those exams. Lumine is so iconic i haven't liked a character so quickly as i did her in ages. We are all better off with more jeht content tbh. She's fun & an interesting character we get to see grow. Hell if that aint my eternal mood. So much to do so little time. Xingqiu is so good i gave him a rest break after getting yelan & kokofish though he deserves it. I will manifest you getting him some day. I played faruzan's hangout & man its so good. I want her now. & once again lumine fits so well in the hangouts with the ladies too. Sdr2 had so many of my favorite characters & really did uh. Not do most of em justice it sucks. Thats what character adoption is for. That domain isnt like. The worst of them but it is annoying. So the usual advice applies. Get workable stuff & roll with it. Not worth farming for perfection. Good to know. I simply am always in awe of nature so i know ill like it regardless. That is very cool its amazin yall have been friends for so long. Me after playing dehya's story quest & also gaining her as a character first 10 pull. Ive gotten into so many series because of friends its like my vetting process. If someone whose tastes i trust says its good ill check it out. Like every honkai post i see from you reminds me i wanna continue that

hi again [once again sorry for the extremely late answer but im afraid this might become a bit of a pattern cos our teachers suddenly decided to give us Every Exam In Existence TvT] and thank you sm!!!! its. a lot. but im surviving. lumine is SO great frfr. tho i havent played the new archon quest yet [my interest in minecraft returned so ive been kinda doing that lol] so i havent seen any potential content from there yet. and i agree, jeht is amazing. im so glad mhy didnt just make her a throwaway character. and yeahhh isnt that life. i have. so many plans. and so little time And motivation. thank you for the manifestation 🙏🙏 im yelanless as her playstyle happens to not really be my thing but i DO have koko and i ❤ her. ouuugh then ill check it out!! one day at least. god im gonna have so much stuff to do when i finally get the energy to play genshin again. yeah sdr2 was. Something. danganronpa would be such a good game if it wasnt so bad. if that makes sense. but it was def a fun fandom, a fundom is you will. yeahh fair i just did that with the pale flame domain [THO I PROBABLY SHOULDNT HAVE COS MY EULA STILL HAS ONLY 4* ARTIFACTS.... but she can his 100k and im trying to not be a metaslave so im not that bothered]. yeah its still a REALLY cool experience so i cant recommend it enough. hehe right!! its all thanks to Tiny Me bc she had ten times the confidence of current me. and im still laylaless rip. yeah me too tbh!! and good luck on continuing honkai when u get to it!!!

[tofindloveinpoison]

Iconic Fanfictions ive read two years ago and what I currently remember of them:

I will premise this by saying that these fanfics were famous only in certain specific niches of the internet, and that when i say that a work is badly written or i critique it in anyway it?s just my opinion from what i vaguely remember, whihch might not be correct. 

Fanfics below the cut: filthy lucre, asotm, twist and shout, the hat and lung fics, anatomy of a fall, throam, unholyverse. feelfree to add what you remember of “famous fanfics” you’ve read.

tw for mentions of: sexual assault, violence, animal abuse, pedophilia and some other upsetting topics. 

The Milk Fic

Oh my God this was bad but not nearly as extreme as other fics. An iconic and shocking read i do not recommend, but if you really want to read it it will not ruin your life, your month at most. 

From what i remember at least the sex was consensual aaaaaaand i don’t remember any other good/decent aspects about it. 

Very famous, a lot of ppl have read it, gerard way said it was “well-written” but honestly it wasn’t.

( original? ryden version) 4/10 because of lack of actual crimes.

Filthy Lucre

So bad i don’t remember the plot. They’re prostitutes i think? there definitely was an abusive relationship and the sex scenes were so bad i had to skip all of them, meaning i read the whole thing in half an hour.

Really terrible, they don’t end up toghether and that’s the only interesting element. I recomend no one reads this unless you are literally dying of boredom.

(frerard version) 1/10 because its a completed work, but at what cost

Twist and Shout

This is considered one of the good ones and you know what? for iconic fanfiction standards it’s not bad at all, decently-written with actual characters that don’t feel, like most fanfic characters, like bad ooc versions of the original.

How about the overcomplicated plot tho? I don’t remember a thing except for the homophobia (its set in the 50s-60s), the war, the Elvis songs, one cute sad beach scene and one of the protagonists dying of aids. Maybe they also watch star trek,idk; lots to unpack. 

If you want to suffer and you have lots of free time i recommend it, i skipped most of the sex scenes but there is an actual plot so that was not a problem.

(original Destiel version) 8/10 bc I don’t remember how they handled the aids thing but it made me uncomfortable, might be just bc of the upsetting subject matter but i don’t remember

The Hat Fic

DO NOT READ THIS THING. Go read the milk fic if you want weird but not this one please. A milk enema is NOTHING. Contains animal abuse and i don’t remember how consensual the whole thing was.

I CAN ASSURE YOU THIS MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE TO THIS DAY I FEEL SICK WRITING THIS. There is a whole subset of early phanfiction centered on being as disgusting and upsetting as possible and i think this started it.

I higly doubt anyone got off on this but still the possibility unsettles me.

(original phan version )  -8233983743764346/10 should be illigal to talk about it. We should all agree to Damnatio Memoriae this thing.

A splitting of the Mind

Some people insist on treating this as one of the good iconic fics but it’s bad. 

So bad its actually an interesting read if you feel like analizing some text, trying to see what is so appealing about it, despite its evident flaws.

The age gap is 19-16 so not as bad as the Other Iconic mcr Fanfic About Doves that i did not read bc from what i remember it was basically pedophilia/grooming but i might be wrong. God the bar is so low

Portrayal of mantal illness and trauma was truly a shitshow, the writing was not great but also not horrible. The sexual assault elements upset me greatly but it might be just bc of the subject matter

pros: unreliable narrator done decently, ray toro’s character saw the future looking in cereal, characters are characters and not merely names (not to be confused with actual good characterization), nothing else.

(original frerard version) 5/10 for the effort honestly, but i do not recommend this unless you are mentally ready for some heavy topics handled poorly.

The Lung Fic

This was written with the goal of shocking the reader, in the same vein as all hat fic/ milk fic copycats.

 Should be more upsetting, given it contains gore, pedophilia and a bunch of other disgusting madness (maybe mpreg?), but it just reads as a fanfiction taboo list.

Not worth reading at all, clearly intentionally designed to shock and disgust to the point where it’s obvious.

0/10 i don’te remember which version, irrelevant, don’t waste your time

Anatomy of a fall

Contains ghosts, high school au, possibly resurrection or death, idk.

I don’t remember this being particularly offensive in any way, but its been a long time. Then again i did not read the sex scenes so it might contain necrophilia and i wouldn’t know. (i checked and no necrophilia, just “weird supernatural sex”)

is it well written? no, but it’s not outragiously badly-written. Is it funny sometimes? yes.

 In the context of this list, this might be a good one, in any other context probably not. I might be biased bc i love ghost stories in general and this one does not contain sexual assault if i remember correcly. (The bar is soooo low)

(original? frerard version) 7/10 bc ghosts and funny aND IT HAS ILLUSTRATIONS (vietnamese translation available)

 The Heart Rate of a Mouse

Good but not in the classical meaning of the word. It contains some Hot TakesTM on human sexuality, substance abuse and unhealthy relationship(s).

Its set in the 70s so the homophobia is there and she is thriving. Wonderful internalized homophobia, really 10/10 for that.

The sex and the plot sometimes intersect, putting me in the uncomfortable position of having to  read smut or not knowiong what is going on (0/10 ).

Well written for the genre (=beloved fanfictions that are rarely redeemable); characters are original and flawed, even interesting sometimes.

The plot is three pubblished books worth of plot available for free on the internet and that is a blessing. I suggest reading this as if all the characters are OCs and you found this book forgotten on the train and decided to read it. 

But is it actually good as a story? idk its a lot honestly, if you have to quarantine for 14 days bc of covid and you don’t have anything to study, this will fill at least 4 full days of reading.

(original version)8/10 bc it has everithing but its still not a masterpiece of modern fanfic literature sorry

Unholyverse

Contains Demons, priests, scarfs, exorcisms(affectionate), vergin mary tatoos and much more. Not as carefully written as throam or tas, but it still makes it as one of the good  fanfics solely for the cool factor.

It would be so cool if this was better written and a comicbook or a grafic novel with original characters.( I skipped all the sex scenes bc they made me uncomfy, as usual so idkwhat was going on there)

If there was anything extremely upsetting about this one i forgot about it (i checked: they say “ warnings for religious themes, pain, trauma, blood, torture and death”). There is a lot of plot, its not even just one fic its a whole serie. 

Great for passing the time, I forgot most of it 7/10 for the demons (original version)

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

not judging, i am genuinely curious, if you havent played tftbl, and havent finished bl2, how did you get into rhack? and let me say, for someone who hasnt played the games, your fics are really on point

I am flattered beyond measure, and also couldn’t keep this short because i love the topic, so i put it under a read more AHAH! ilu anon thank you xD

Hands down, the fanartists are to blame xD AHAHAH I vaguely knew who Handsome Jack was from a pop-culture perspective (and I never before liked that iconic style borderlands is known for, so I just played Fallout and Parasite Eve and Left 4 Dead and shit like that instead). Around the time Tales came out, I started seeing fanart of Rhys on my dash (and i was like HELLO who’s this pretty boy??)  and then of course rhack art started crossing my dash, and I got curious about the art I was seeing, and learned little things bit by bit until I was swallowed whole AHAHAH! :)

From the art, I started perusing fic (i’ve always been an avid book-reader so no fore-knowledge necessary for engagement/enjoyment of material; books usually come with even less exposure to the material than fanfic ahaha) and i was learning little things here and there from the way fic-writers wrote the characters and what types of characterizations I personally enjoyed :) I have a photographic memory as well so it just became applying what I learned from my own exposure to the medium to write up fic :) No different from having to write a term paper or graduate dissertation or whatever. I’m very good at taking in information and disseminating only what’s needed. So like, seeing certain concepts/products/in-world terms/etc. crop up in enough fics tells me that is something possibly essentially to look into world-building-wise. From there, it’s a simple googling for the term/item/in-world thing to understand what it is and from context, how to write it :)

I always wondered how people who could write (extensive) fic for stuff they’ve never read/played/watched first-hand could do it, and so well too (there used to be this Harry Potter writer that like… damn they were redonk good having NEVER seen the movies/read the books). It’s simple intake of information and analysis compared with current fandom trends to do the thing xD that’s kind of it hahha. I’m probably downplaying it, and truly i could write like 10k on the subject myself hahah but we can cut it all down to the AWESOME rhack fan-creator community, and the sheer volume of fic I’ve taken in since 2015 xD 

If you want to try to see behind the curtain so to speak as a demonstration of what I mean, go read my very-first rhack fic Bad Habits and consciously-compare it with any of my more recent work (anything from the bottom of the Jack/Rhys section in my fic archive or anything else post-2015; I add works chronologically on tumblr according to pairing; ao3 should have dates) and notice the lack of scenery-descriptions, location-details, or anything else that we might today consider to be ‘standard’ fic details now. My earlier stuff is definitely lacking in depth (also WAY shorter… most shit i write is like 8k now for one ‘chapter’) and you can see that, while not having those details, it does not detract from the story (so me playing the games to do the thing wasn’t actually necessary, especially with all the fanart– fanartists are VERY emotive in their work and that says a LOT about a character). :)

There’s only so much you can do with written-word vs. a visual media to have someone imagine something the way you want, and you have to be able to choose what is important that you want them to focus on. I majored in radio, tv, and film officially, and I’m sure part of the way I work is due to that area of study and expertise (even tho my degree is useless AHAHAH i wish i wouldve majored in linguistics xD). I know how to screen-write in both tv and film format (which are VERY different and require different skill sets), I understand how to tell a story/engage an audience through a visual-media that has to start out in text-format (have to visualize my product and correctly translate that to text for my instructions to be correctly carried out in the way i imagined by a third-party) and also comprehend who my audience for the piece is, and what they can understand from a comprehension level (not calling anyone dumb by any means, but i do have to dumb-down language at work sometimes because no one knows what an ‘epiphany’ is for example, but they all know ‘Aha!-moment’ agh haha) :D But there are a LOT of ways to write characters/stories without ever personally knowing the source material. Basically i take a fuckton of variables into consideration before crapping out a self-indulgent fic BAHAHA XD

OOOH ALSO! i listened to compilations of Jack’s lines on youtube to understand his speech patterns/attitude a bit better, and I saw a few clips here and there from Tales to kind of comprehend the same for Rhys. Voice actors are a goddamn treasure and make writing easier than if the only source material was a book and not a movie/videogame :D So yeah. thats kind of my ‘secret’ idk xD

Anyone who wants to extensively write, I’d suggest reading as many fucking books as you can get your hands on to expose yourself to as many writing styles/backgrounds/settings/storytelling-ability, and basically emulate it, or mush it all into something your own xD I used to judge books by their covers in highschool and just grab whatever, read it overnight, return it and get something else. I’m thirsty for information and knowledge. If i were a dragon, words would be my hoard AHAHAH XD ive had too much caffeine again today and am rambling but thanks anon! :D this shit fun, and it goes to show you DONT need the direct-thing to jump into having fun :D

[lanasaved]

cue me, clanking noisily at a nearby manhole as i attempt to scrabble my way bk out of the sewer like the stinky little rat tht i am. enchanté, ghouls! some of u might remember me (nai/from manchester so i pronounce things like a gallagher brother n i’m profusely sry abt it) bt if nt i hd to drop off the face of the Earth rp wise fr a hot minute there bt now im bk n i couldn’t resist reviving lana so???? here we r. u kno the drill more abt her under the cut!!

( cis-female ) haven’t seen LANA JAMESON around in a while. the KRISTINE FROSETH lookalike has been known to be (+) VIVACIOUS & (+) ALLURING, but SHE can also be (-) UNRELIABLE & (-) CARELESS. The 22 year old is a SOPHOMORE majoring in BALLET. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/ha/the beast from split. )

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror

SO i think in terms of explainin where she’s been fr the past month i’m gna say tht she didn’t rly.... tell a lot of ppl??? probably only a select few bt to others im guessin she was pretty vague bc she hates discussin anythin serious/personal. anyway essentially she’s been back @ home helpin her brother out n i won’t elaborate much more bc im a thot

frm this point on ive jst pasted her old intro bc im the laziest woman alive n that’s jst life Babey

she’s local to the ny area i jst havent decided where exactly she grew up tbh. probably somewhere upstate

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few rly big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst.... a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pastel coloured fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him regardless. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. in fact she’s so… shameless in her endeavours tht she’s actually currently having an affair w her ballet instructor tanya who’s engaged to b married

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

new development!!!!!!!! cue me trottin around doin jazz hands. she’s actually been cut off by her dad so she’s….. living off the money she has left n has to look to find a job which is jst. a nightmare fr someone like lana bc she’s insatiably irresponsible n destined to be fired from anything she tries to hold down bt. it’ll be interesting bc this means she genuinely has to keep on camming even tho she’s starting not to want to any more bc of other circumstances i won’t elaborate on jst yet winks

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. let’s get wildt!

[commiemoth]

bbbb all of the adorable asks are so cute >////

Bbbbb im happy i answer!! >\

2- my favorite color use to be purple definitively but now i cant choose unless its color combinations, my current favorites are: cyan + red, bronze + patina-green, silver + deep blue, black + cyan or neon blue, black + gold, white + goldIf i Really Really had to choose only one tho i think it would depend on my mood? Blue for sad, deep blue for calm, gold for energetic/confident, cyan for floaty, silver for dissociating?

3- no but!!!! I really want to! As soon as im out of my parents house im gonna do eyeshadow all the time as soon as i learn how! (Hopefully ollie can teach me because their eyeshadow looks are fucking #Iconic)

4- Yes yes yes!!!! In love right now and its better than ever before!!

5- ive been hesitant about this because last time i thought this it ended b a d l y but!! This time feels really different! I feel the connection and honestly i think yes!!

6- i think when im by myself im incredibly pessimistic and realist and accepting of it but with most other people im very optimistic for them i think? Even if im not for myself :/

7- ive had my first kiss already unfortunately :/but! First kiss with someone who actually cares and loves and respects u is completely different!! So my ideal first kiss would probably be leik after a moment of really spontaneous and overwhelming happiness between us? I think it would feel natural and comftorable and nice even if we’d both be awkward blushy babies about it >\\

24- ive gotten my nails painted before it was really nice! Im going to start doing it regularly once im out of the house and i hope ill eventually be gud enough to paint little designs on them!

25- idk wat this is asking leik, confessed wat? Id think yes and leik if confessed just as in telling something they wouldnt tell anyone else then yes, im honored that someone places that much trust in me when they do and i try to protect the secret/confession with my life

26- gggggg i used to lie so much all the time leik little lies to make myself more interesting/cooler but i dont do that anymore thank gosh, i only lie now to protect someone’s safety/identity , protect my own safety, or when talking to adults because i dont trust them, when its morally justifiable, or when ive been asked too by a confidant

27- ollie!!! (Everything about them) and also songs that are really energetic and (happily) nostalgic for me, and also cute animals! Or hanging out and havin a gud laugh with friends, im more likely to smile in stress free environments!

28- ggggg gosh i cry all the time in books and movies, i cried at finding dory, and at guardians of the galaxy vol 2, and at swiss army man, and at steven universe a lot, and at attack on titan sometimes when i used to watch it (not anymore) anything i read that has a major character death makes me cry, i cried at the Dragons overwatch short for hanzo and genji, im big baby :/

29- i think i had a crush on a girl in elementary school when i was still straight and she was the most popular pretty girl in school, boring het stuff :/

30- marriage sounds really nice! Not that important tho it just seems leik part of the whole big thing of the different levels of “making it official” but it would be nice and fun!!! Kids are scary! Too much responsibilty and i, kinda dont leik them :/

31- im very superstitious sometimes, a couple years ago i saw the picture of the russian sleep experiment creepy pasta and its haunted me and my halfasleep mind until a few months ago last year thats not really superstitious i guess but im always very irrational about things leik that, leik if a noise happens at night then my brain goes: “its the [a creepy picture i saw that day] monster here to get you” and it really sucks sometimes but ive been a little bette with it lately! (Ps, Do Not look up the russian sleep experiment, it might not be the same for you but it was terrifying for me and had a lasting effect)

32- my 3am thoughts are ollie!! Its much better thinking about cuddling them instead of thinking about if everyone i know hates me secretly or wat went wrong on that particular day (although ive been doing better on that too)

33- i leik candy a lot!! My favorites are snickers, swedish fish, cinnamon gumdrops, chocolate (either chili or caramel), jolly ranchers, skittles, and sometimes airheads, i used to l o v e poprocks but i dont see then around anymore :l

34- halloween!!! Its my favorite time because its not too cold to have to stay inside and still cold enough for cool fashion options and also halloween itself!! Its fun! :D

35- my favorite season is winter!! It lets me stay inside and watch the pretty snow while i drink hot cocoa and play video games :3 fall is a close second!! Most of fall is cool enough to still be outside and the cold weather suits me even if its sometimes gives me colds!

36- i feel leik a dog would help me be happier because they generally more energetic? But a cat suits my personality much better and i feel leik we might get along a little easier , both are gud and no preference tho!!!

37- im really quiet i think!! I try not to talk at all unless its with people i already know, but the more comftorable i am with someone the louder i am with them!!

38- my favorite time period is medeival or far-future! Medieval only when in fantasy with dragons and magic and stuff because Real medieval times kinda sucked but: the knights! The samurai! And far future because space travel and sightseeing on distant planets!!

39- bowties? There still kind of around tho i guess, cloaks and swords or also full plate armor (bring! Them! Back!)

40- hhhhh i never remember my dreams but the worst nightmares are where i wake up and cant breathe leik sleep paralysis im pretty sure (that combined with russian sleep experiment is h e l l but thankfully that doesnt really happen anymore) and the best dreams ive had are when ollie is in them!!

41- i used to be really afraid the dark but im still sometimes just as afraid so i guess that doesnt count? I used to have dreams where the little one eyed dudes id make out of my erasers would turn evil and stand on my chest and id wake up with sleep paralisys so? Thats something i guess :/

42-43 are skipped in the list?

44- i try my best!! Ollie knows :> im [Incapable] of flirting with anyone if they dont also flirt with me and i know that they leik me too tho so i havent been flirting much the past couple years till now :l

45- my style currently is kinda blandish i think? Dark or cool colors with a graphic teeshirt (sometimes of things that i dont even leik anymore) and black or blue skinny jeans (sometimes a bleached white pair, theyre my favorite) and some matching color of converse, sometimes i wear flannels or button ups and sometimes bowties too! But not as often

Ideal style: crop top, flannel, sunglasses, short short jean shorts, cool socks that go past my knees, matching converse!

46- hell yeah i blush!!!!!!!!! Sometimes i blush when people are really nice to me but most times its from romantic stuff because i get flustered and blushy So Easily!!

47- every once in a while my depression comes back and most of the time it doesnt stay for lomg but while its here i feel everything at once while wanting to feel nothing and its so overwhelming or i feel nothing at all while wanting to feel at least one thing and it makes my heart hurt, most of the time tho i lean more on the side of feeling everything! Feelings are gud and i leik them!!!

48- im definently a crier! Cried basically for 3 years straight, but ive only cried happy crying a couple times, definitely a few tho, i smile a lot! I think! I try to, i think smiles are really nice and there needs to be more of them in the world, ive been smiling a lot more the past couple months for sure :3Thanks for askin and!! @got to answer the same asks! Not all if u dont want to but just the ones u want :>

[survivorwakea]

Episode 11: “Can we bounce back? Probs not tbh.” - Lily

Well I might as well be voted out now. Ain’t nobody want me to win and I’m playing a fool’s game. Asya shout out to you tho queen, love you icon. I honestly don’t care who goes at this point I’d rather make it one more round so I can at least get 7th. Whoever said I was being dragged, tbh you ain’t wrong. Can we bounce back? Probs not tbh.

so... things r quiet once again. I think ive landed myself in the minority once again! I believe that i could be targeted but the bad thing is that im v busy tomorrow and needto wake up early so i cant attend tribal... its currently 11:25 pm, im probably sleeping in like few minutes and then wake up at 4 am just to vote but we'll see.

i dont want to get 8th. its such an ugly placement pls pls pls not

________________________________________________________________

i am worried. i can sense a blindside coming. i am not sure if its coming to me or my allies but this is way too good to be true... im def considering playing my idol this round. either i am successful or then i look like a clown and waste my idol at f8 like zachary <3

shout out .

Yeehaw I've heard I'm the target again. Do these people know that an easier way to talk me down would be to get rid of my allies first? because they've not really attempted that it mostly feels like they've gone quite hard for me. Watch me get a vote at every tribal council until FTC and then not get a single vote again

another round copy/pasting what i threw in my host chat LMAO

okay so basically jared and i are playing the other side really hard to get them to think that the vote is on chloe, but that really jared lily and i wanna vote for bodhi and then jared is getting them to "lie to me" and vote for lily so im pretty sure they're going to be voting for lily thinking jared is voting with them and that lily and i are voting for bodhi when in all actuality me lily bodhi asya jared are voting for zack and PRAYING we can blindside the fuck out of him with the idol in his pocket bc they've gotta have 2 there's two that have been in play at one point or another that are unaccounted for and jared and bodhi STILL think anabel was the leak during the split vote round, when it was me, so im going to have that to claim above anything else at FTC so we'll see what happens this round im feeling kinda confident that we can finally get out zack, but it's going to be pretty tough because those three are smart and i dont think they believe a damn word any of us say, but jared and i have been talking to all of them throughout the entire merge, so I do feel like we've got a decent shot at playing this off well post tribal I kinda wanna just start winning challenges and using those to make power moves i do think the ONLY THING that comes away from this is that if zack goes home this round, and I hammer hard that I want to vote for bodhi this round, and don't, it's going to be hard to convince them that i genuinely want to vote for bodhi next round bc i feel they won't believe me but we'll see because if zack does go here, i really do want bodhi to go out next, but it's just a really tough field to play right now because there's so much lying and im trying to keep up with all of my lies, JUST to finally take out someone from that side successfully that i deem the biggest threat to win and then there's my relationship with elmo that i feel is going to help me legitimately get to the end of the game here, and if those three actually do end up voting for lily, then I feel we'll both be apologizing to each other post tribal, BUT I'm curious when Elmo wakes up if he's going to tell me that those guys are voting for lily and they're trying to keep me out of it, because if he does, that's going to show me a lot about elmo and my true relationship, and if he keeps me out of the loop on that and lies to me again, then im not going to feel super compelled to save him again in the future like i feel i did this round

Trust List 4.0:

1. Asya 2. Bodhi 3. Lily 4. Johnny 5. Chloe 6. Elmo 7. Zack

Today has been one of the most intense rounds, between playing damage control on Lily and Johnny, and playing a full defensive blindside on Zack.

Convinced Asya and Bodhi to be okay with Zack being the target instead of Elmo. Created multiple fake narratives for the minority to bite on. I CAN FEEL THE MIST IN MY VEINS! Ya. I also got to the end of the idol bridge but it was already found.

Right now I would feel comfortable going to the end with Asya and Bodhi or Lily. That's the goal.

95% sure Zack is going home this round. 5% sure of it being a Bodhi blindside.

Peace out! ✌

me: it’s my birthday and i’m on the road for 7 hours so i may not be here much chloe: answer my pms or i’m reaching for the arsenic

honestly will this game ever stop having crackhead energy? everyday it's another crackhead going crazy.. a day off would be LOVELY to vacation away from these crackheads. (ff to me getting the boot tonight and vacationing on ponderosa.) but lets talk bout last round real quick.... i took a huge ass risk not using my idol when i knew i was getting votes. i just had to take a risk and pray for the best and thats what i did and my gut was right. do i take another risk tonight? i guess we'll wait and see. everything this round is all over the place, but what else is new? lemme try and sum it up for you but i KNOW this is gonna come out confusing as fuck.

jared-  he wants to do lily but he also said he'll do bodhi. do i think he'll do bodhi? no because i think they're really close. so i told him i would prefer to do lily just so he doesn't go and tell bodhi i want him out. but i would much rather do bodhi.

johnny- wants to do bodhi but thinks me elmo and chloe wanna do lily but we don't. also had no idea lily was even on the chopping block till i told him. but i trust telling him i wanna do bodhi.

asya- told chloe she's getting votes but doesn't think she's going home and thinks people are gonna vote for elmo.

me chloe and elmo- wanna vote out bodhi but telling jared we'll do lily but telling johnny we'll do bodhi and hoping none of it comes around to either of them that we're being snakes.

get my drift? do you understand? because i don't.

my plan is this... telling jared that i'm willing to vote out lily so i'm not the one coming off as wanting to be the one to vote out bodhi because i know they're close and i don't want tp get targeted this round because i want bodhi gone because i think jared will just tell bodhi i said his name. like they're kinda looking for someone to vote out right now so hopefully they'll go after elmo if he says bodhi and not me. everything seems ot be all over the place, lies are starting to get spilled... do i use my idol tonight JUST to make sure i'm safe because this vote can go literally anywhere? i'm gonna have you sit and wait...

and if i don't use my idol tonight and i wind up leaving.. i just wanna apologize for all the spelling mistakes i've made in all my confessionals. and i'm sorry if i'm still here next week and the spelling mistakes continue.

________________________________________________________________

i could also be totally wrong about EVERYTHING and might totally be overthinking everything as usual.. but like i've said in previous confessionals.. this whole game has been built on nothing but lies. it seems like jury management doesn't exist and we all just wanna lie to each other and stab each other in the back for fun. lying is a hobby in celestial. we lie for fun in celestial. backstabbing in celestial for no reason? sign me up! jury management doesn't exist in this game.. everyone is just out for blood in malicious ways and we all have no problem lying straight to each other's faces. it's so cracked and it's so hard to figure out whats the truth and this has been the most stressful game i have ever played. but don't get it wrong.. i'm here to fight and i'm here to put that knife in your back and lie straight to your face every single round.

It feels as though this has a bigger chance to go wrong than I let on in my first confessional, so I just want it to be on the record that I am indeed uneasy at 8:46 PM EST on Day 28.

just want on the record that i am uneasy about this vote

________________________________________________________________

Zack is voted out 5-3. He becomes the fifth member of the jury.

[pr]

I was tagged by @twothirtyams

FINALLY got around to it HERE:

Nickname(s): Energizer Bonnie. Bon Bon. Bon. The Bonster. Babe (Jake literally has called me Bonnie less than 20 times akdjakanan).

Gender: Lady gal. Tbh I would be agender because I just don't care but along that same vein I just don't care enough to explain that all the time/insist on pronouns. So. Respect to y'all who do. ✌

Height: 5′6″ (I'm the tallest woman in me or Jake's families but also like. Why am I not 5'11"+ akdjakajaj Kaylor's impact….)

Time: 5:47p CST

Where I'm from: Dallas, Texas. (I would specify the suburb but nobody outside DFW seems to kno lol.) Living in Austin, Texas for 21 more days though...

Hogwarts house: SLYTHERIN. Through and through. When I took the quiz at like 15 and got put in the opposite of Gryffindor I cried. But like. Now, I cannot imagine ever not identifying with everything about Slytherin. The ~dark side~ has never ever been appealing to me - I didn't even have an "emo phase" (I thought MCR was scary even) lol but. Ambition and cunning? Hell. Yes. Also Merlin was a Slytherin so. Dab.

Favorite show: Parks and Recreation has taken the top spot for yeeeears - but now it is tied with Crazy Ex Girlfriend. (I base a lot of my identity on kinned TV characters akdjakaj but ANYway.) 30 Rock close 2nd. Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul are 3rd, shockingly. Bojack Horseman an unfortunate 4th but I kin Bojack in a negative way. Always, ALWAYS stan Avatar: The Last Airbender at #5. I have too many to list tbh lol so just check my TV tag.

Favorite animal: So preface: I only like female animals. Akdjakaja. JUDGE me as you WILL. BUT. Other than hyenas, female animals don't RAPE. SO! ANYWAY! Bunnies at a hard #1!!!! 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰 Alligators, sharks, dolphins, elephants, horses/ponies, cows, pigs (lotta livestock akdjakajaba), cats, opossums, cheetahs, big cats in general, GIRAFFES (KK……) - I love animals a lot (from a sanitary distance akdjakajaj)

Favorite band/artist: I will not even count the obvious answer because that isn't fair. Other than her: Paramore/Hayley Williams, Ariana Grande, Lorde, Hayley Kiyoko, Halsey, Bastille, Troye Sivan, Harry Styles/One Direction, Rush (hate you Jake…), the cast of Hamilton and Crazy Ex Girlfriend.

…

...you can't judge me.

Song stuck in my head: Well I'm currently listening to Kung Fu Fighting akdjakaj but other than that Love Kernels has been stuck in my head for OVER A WEEK!!!!

Last movie I saw: Uhhh….tbh I really do not watch enough movies??? Honestly, it might have been Endgame?? God I am sad akdjakakja. Watched Crazy Ex Girlfriend 3× since June tho akdjakana

Last thing I Googled: murphy texas fourth of july concert

Other blogs: I've got a SHIT ton of saved URLs, but other than my temp hiatus blog @kaylor and its side blog @marvelousmidgesusie nah. Too much effort.

Do I get asks:Absolutely not. Never have never will akdjakajaj I'm good with it now.

Why this URL: Not to be like. Dramatic. But. After getting a canon URL previously and receiving 0 validation from it, I started this blog under the guise of like. Having just...a fun URL I can change whenever just to enjoy. So, when the lyrics were leaked, I jumped on this bitch because it was fun! And I'll probably change it again once Lover releases.

Number of blankets: Oh my God. Over 10. Too many.

Followers: Little over 125 I think.

Following: Idk. Maybe 200?

Average amount of sleep: I have been working pretty hard to make it at LEAST 8 - but that never fucking happens aidhakan 7-6 usually and it makes me MISERABLE.

Lucky number: 187, and any combination thereof. I know. Weird. But. On birthday turning from 7 to 8, July 18th (7/18), I decided that was the best day of my life, and that was my number. Do I remember anything about that birthday? Absolutely not. But. The number stuck. It shows up in my life a lot. From random (187 on a bus or on a utilities panel driving by), to mildly interesting (my license plate just has 718 or reblogging/liking things that equal combos of the numbers a lot), to really freakin' weird (the number my mom has had for almost 30 years ends with 0718, my Jake's birthday just happens to be August 17th 8/17). So. Idk. I just wike it.

What am I wearing: Tee from a coffee shop, A&M workout shorts, sports bra, crap underwear, and my heart on my sleeve.

Dream job: For my entire life, it was working in film, most recently being an editor. But within the last few months, in a dramatic turn of events, my ideal job would be doing what @tree-paine does: being the publicist of clientele in media, music, film, sports, maybe even politics. Idk.

Dream trips: Jake and I have an elaborate dream of traveling down the Alps from Frankford to Austria to Switzerland to Mulan and ending in Verona. Additionally, I am desperate to take Jake to NYC, LA, Boston, and San Fran. Would love to visit almost every hotspot in the US (Chicago, Atlanta, NOLA, Southwest, Pacific Northwest, Disneyworld, Colorado, Alaska, etc). Also VANCOUVER, lots of East Asia, lots of Europe, Giza, Jerusalem, South Africa - but I have literally never been out of the country and am TERRIFIED of flying let alone over the OCEAN. UM. I just want to be well traveled man lmao.

Favorite food: LOTTA shit I am NOT picky, but tops for sure: cinnamon rolls, cheeseburgers, pizza, mac n cheese, blueberries, pasta in general, sushi, and Jake's aglio e olio/veggie nachos.

Instruments I play: Lol. As if. I spent almost $300 on a keyboard but have been too depressed to try. Maybe someday. Have also been dying to sing for 23 years…

Eye color: Very, VERY light blue. Whenever I am in public, people lose their SHIT on the daily when they see my eyes. But for me like. Blue eyes be creepy. Lmao. I really want green/hazel eyes but like. W/e. So it goes.

Hair color: Naturally this dark, awful shade of ash blonde. But I've been coloring my hair since middle school, and for the past 5 or so years it has been a natural ginger copper. I dye my brows too, people think it's really because I am such a cracker ass white gal akdjakanakan

Aesthetic: Check my "aesthetic" tag lol. Idk. Peach/salmon tones. Farm animals. Florals. Dresses with sneakers. Women. Taylor Swift lyrics over pastel backgrounds akdjakaj. BUNNIES. Shots with a lot of negative space. Mornings and coffee and eggs and pancakes. Waking up next to Jake. Texas hill country. Cowboy boots worn right. Snow. Christmas. Idk. Just like. Look at the "moodboards" tag too akdjakaj.

Languages I speak: English, do you see my lily white ass akdjakajaj. I can speak Spanglish well enough to get through a transaction or vaguely pick up words but that is IT. Would love to know Cherokee, Korean, German, and whatever the hell Australians are saying tho.

Most iconic song: One time, I had a dream that I wrote my senior thesis on why the song "Red" was on the level of modern icon/classic as songs "Don't Stop Believin'", "Livin' On A Prayer", "Smoke On The Water", etc. I was insistent the opening notes were on the same level as "Immigrant Song" aodaajakaja. And I was SO passionate about it I WOKE UP CRYING AKDHALAJAKKAAJ.

Anyway.

OTHER than that, this is 100% subjective and to me personally but: Tim McGraw because those opening notes are just nostalgic as hell; Out of the Woods because when that leaked I was just starting to get back into TS and I put on my headphones and covered myself in a blanket and closed my eyes to be fully into it and oh my God...it was immersive, I will never forget that feeling; IV Sweatpants by Childish Gambino, because it was the MOST PLAYED SONG OF 2018 on our Spotify akdjakajaj; My Shot/Wait For It from Hamilton because they have both inspired and driven me to feel like I can take on the fucking world; and A Diagnosis from Crazy Ex Girlfriend because it changed my life and I have listened to it more times than I can count.

When I created this account: A few months ago. I am changing my person this year, and starting fresh with how I present my online persona was an important part of that process for me. But I have been on Tumblr on various accounts since 2010/11 lmao.

Best memory: Getting moved to the front row at my first TS concert, the 1989 Tour; so, so many things with Jake, years of memories; getting my bun; reconnecting with Sarah; a lot of SXSW 2018; my 20th birthday.

Best pun: The first thing that comes to mind is a post I reblogged earlier about how Lyra from The Golden Compass does not have a moral compass in the metaphorical sense and I said, "I mean. She has a compass. She quite literally very much has a moral compass." I thought I was funny lol.

Random fact: I finally got diagnosed with BPD! And I've lost 20+lbs this year (getting healthy, it's a good thing)! My closet is color organized by item!

I tag:

@kayspiracy @jake-from-state-farm-school @toastedcoconutchips @vagabonds-and-troubadours @grizzlybairparty @thefuckingstory @pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace @his-dark-memerials @taylorswift

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #6: “because Sweyn’s Baddies are COMING” - Jones

My bitch ass glasses broke so I’m more than happy to be doing a challenge that requires my ears. Maybe wil my eyesight so poor my hearing will get better to compensate who knows. Even if we lose I’m in a Gucci spot to survive.

Tribal was a success. With the first tribal done I’m happy trust is built and I can stop being paranoid.

With that said I think I’m in a good position going forward as I have an alliance and we’re probably reaching a merge or a swap soon.

my plan of action for my tribe since we legit havent got Anything on the doc yet (me n michael have an excuse..) is to make it seem like im doing more than i am. oh im gonna work on it soon! i’ll do this soon! like its all about seeming like im contributing.. when i aint LAMDKNDG

me n michael made a f2 altho it breaks my heart to say its just for the sake of my survival on this dumbass tribe.. theres no way malik flips on me and with michael as my f2 i can essentially force him to flip on danielle if he wants to stay which is like perf rn since i dont really trust her..

i miss my close allies tho lol. like ryan is my #1 n its unfortunate he isnt getting a chance to make more bonds considerig we need those bonds for his idol to make a big move.. hopefully mercia loses again and wes goes tho? it evens it up to 6 sweyn vs 6 mercia and i think itll swap again before merge and hopefully ill be with ryan/rhys/jones :)) my social game is good rn i think.. i just gotta lay low with physical and downplay strategy so im never the target. hard w/ these personalities tho. X

SOOO THIS CHALLENGE IS FUCKING HELL!!! U KNOW WHAT WOULD BE BETTER? IF OUR WHOLE TRIBE FUCKING DID SMTH!!

like im actually gunna go fucking mad.. its songs. yah its hard to identify bc theyre distorted and overlapped but theres no excuse not to get at least artists.. or even one song. malik n michael can barely do that.. LIKE YEAH I HAVENT DONE THE BEST BUT IVE GOT 2 SONGS THERE RN AND IDENTIFIED NICKI + XTINA SO! BLOOP! im gunna kill myself.. poor dani. its especially painful knowing ill try to get her out if we lose LMAOAOAOA but i mean.. (: oh well!

This challenge can litterally chomp on a dick. No. I hate it. I dont want to do it. Like BEGONE.

Honestly its so hard, and like i dont listen to pop so im struggling with it. Hopefully we win, but I feel safe if we go to tribal.

At this point I am so upset because I feel useless because all the ones I know have been picked and idek if anyone took my suggestion seriously. If this round ends my game, I’m going to be so upset!

We’re pretty much fucked unless a miracle happens

I've been a bit nervous about my position and stuff in the game and I'm trying to catch up socially with a lot of people and stuff. I'm doing what I can on a five person tribe and hope I can work on hard on getting as far as I can in this game. I have a feeling we merge next round so that could be cool. I wanna make it far as I can this game, I'm trying to be active but UTR so hopefully it works.

WE WON FIRST PLACE AGAIN AND THIS TIME I WASNT A FUCKUP WOOOOOOOOOOOOP WOOP I’ve been talking to David more and I helped out a lot with this challenge so I’m hoping he won’t want me out next time we go to tribal.

THREE IN A ROW, BABY. Feels good to not have gone to tribal since Jose's elimination. Also an added bonus that I basically carried our tribe to win today, not a big deal, LOL.

Also, with the reward, I've now got a vote steal advantage. This is HUGE for me. I have a group of people I wanna work with in this game and if this group is down in numbers at any point, this vote steal can come in handy.

that challenge was a damn mess but i'm just glad we made it out alive. sad Canute lost though ugh i'm sending all of my positive energy to Scott so he can make it through.... hope we merge next round that would be cute; i'm ready for more action in this game

im gunna kill my self . :) WE LOST. AGAIN. :) NOT MY FAULT. AGAIN.

n now i gotta deal with fucken awkward 2-2 tribal lines when i have a f2 with michael and a love for malik.. but bc dani is good at challenges her ass wont go and thats so annoyin but u can bet ur ass ima try somethin if i have to bc i dont trust malik to keep me safe vs her whereas michael will.. if i have to flip on malik i will

why me tho like im a good person. i dont deserve this. why couldnt i be on a competent tribe. LMAOAOAOA.

THANK GOD WE WON IMMUNITY if we lost I probably would’ve spontaneously combust Bc I love??? My current tribe??? I love Madison too and It sucked we voted her out Bc I actually adore her but she wasn’t doing a lot. I just love this tribe and if we had to vote for each other again I’ll lose my marbles. Maybe we can work more together going into merge if we get there? I hope so, because Sweyn’s Baddies are COMING

Well, we lost once again and I’m upset about it. The challenge was super hard for us and we struggled. It seemed like everyone wasn’t really putting in all they could as they just said “I forgot” I was like oh!! cool!! This tribal, I’m not crazy worried right now. I trust Scott a lot at this point because he doesnt have a reason to lie to me by telling me that I’ve been holding up the tribe because... I have been. I think the move this week is to vote out Malik. We’ll see whats going on but I really think we might be doing that this week. Hopefully there’s a merge soon because I need to fucking be by myself!!!

My ass is for sure on the line tonight. I know that  Malik is targetting me for being weak and all that so rn I’m just trying to get Scott 100% on board with voting me and Malik 100% certain that he is safe with me just in case there’s an idol and maybe if I’m too in my nerves and scared I have no qualms with throwing a vote on dani incade of a tie

You know what they say, another week safe, 

That one didn't seem so easy,  partially cause I sucked at it and mainly because I sucked major balls at it. But hey Mo and David saved our asses so yeeeeeeeeeeee boi. And not only that we also got reward but not really cause the only thing I got was a jpg image, and so did Felix David and Mo according to them which means either one of them is lying or Wes has it. Either way I guess it's not the end of the world.

So now Canute is going to tribal I wonder how that is gonna play out, a part of me wants Dani and Michael to be safe but another one wants rocks but at the same time another one would be jealous cause I wouldn't be a part of it and I could use some rocks in my life. Either way that's it for now folks now if you excuse me Felix wants to kidnap me and introduce me to the spooky facebook wikia comunity, spooky shit indeed.

So WOOOOOOOO this is the first tribal of the season that i'm not attending which is amazingggg and feels so good to finally have a break!! Plus like I honestly LOVE my tribe rn bc everyone is so iconic and fun and we even made a charlie's angels thing bc its so iconic... ugh love them BUT if it came down to tribal I think I would be okay still since i've really worked on rhys and we have a 3 dude gay guardians alliance of me, rhys, and ryan even tho im not even gay but they dont need to know that... my boy scott is in tribal rn but i hope he comes out okay!!! if he doesn't well oops idc bye bitch but if he does then yay!!

Tonight I am absolutely terrified I think the votes are gonna be on Malik but you just never know so my best plan is just to hope for the best and campaign to stay I’m not just gonna sit back and get eliminated especially this close to a merge situation where I know I’ll be in a good position to make it far.

im legit gunna die im so nerv and i shouldnt be. LIKE. I TRUST THAT MICHAEL HAS MY BACK. AND MALIK ISNT VOTING ME. SO IT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO GO. BUT I DONT THINK THAT FOR SOME REASON. all i can think of in the back of my mind is what if michael and dani flip on me and its 2-1-1.. but theres nothing i can literally do bc if i vote michael and stay our relationship is gone lol

ughhhh i should just be positive but its so hard bc even if malik goes.. i feel awful LMAAOAOOA but like. uhm. yes ): i feel awful

Scott as much as I like the guy I can for sure see he lets his emotions dictate how he plays and while that’s not necessarily bad it’s difficu when you’re trying to blindside someone and he could just run and tell Malik so the nerves are here and out to play hunny

My thing is I think it’s is going to go to rocks. Which is why we were worried about that when linus left but it’s real. Dani we don’t wanna vote each other, hell everyone says they don’t want to vote me which is always weird for me to hear but if that’s true good if they’re all voted me then nasty.. but I don’t want to vote Dani and I definitely don’t want to vote Scott..so that kinda leads to Michael which I don’t want to vote either but I have reasons: the main reason is the past couple of challenges he’s done the worst in, and if we need to survive incase there’s no swap or merge then we need all the strong members here.

I feel a bigger bond with Dani and Scott vs Michael who I feel is cool but I don’t feel we’re clicking on a better level. And it’s not even a tribe thing it’s literallt what I feel could save us from tribal, and how don’t i know if Dani and Michael won’t vote me out right after Scott leaves? So basically what’s happening is it’s likely going to be a 2-2 on Michael and Scott, and I’m not changing my vote. So I’ll likely go to rocks and lose but that’s ok. I did my best and it could be a stupid move but I don’t wanna risk Dani and Michael voting me out if we lost again, because I’d hope Dani wouldn’t but you never know. So rocks here we come!

Malik is voted out 3-1.

[survivekohsai]

Episode 10 - I’m So Dumb ~ Bryce

Okay I love an instant tribal! SIKE. I was in the car having to just yolo what was happening. I voted linus and was right so iconic! I need to make sure eric knows I didn't vote him so that we can work together. Jackson wanted linus gone and Richie wanted Eric gone so I had to choose a side. I went with voting linus because I thought that it would let  me be closer to trixie and quillynn that way and possibly take a shot at regan because i was afraid her and linus were close. Now I need to make sure to work with Richie tho so that we're close and actually maybe vote eric idk? Theres a lot of power players and atm Jackson is my partner but he could be playing everyone. I still have my idol at f7 which is so fun only two more oppurtunities to use it so I might be targeted. Me Eric Jackson Trixie Quillynn all have our idols i think maybe regan too. SO its awk I think Im playing my idol next time or  I need to make a strong 4. I think that I can get richie I just need to see who voted who in this round. I think the eric votes were richiex2 and regan and linus. so everyone else didnt vote that way. Also richie played his idol because regan didnt respond to him so maybe they arent as close as i thought they were.

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my nine-and-a-halfth confessional. I'm writing this after the instant tribal because it was wild and I know Rob is thirsting for the details 👀 So at the first tribal, everything went the way I had hoped. RTP went home (although not before dropping another vote my way, I wonder if he hates me lol) and Richie wasted his idol! Woo! My purposely acting super fake worked. I waited hours to respond to his messages and then acted super overly nice like I was planning to blindside him and he bought it. I love reverse snakeology ! So then Rob finally dropped the bomb on us that the lists we had submitted of who we want voted out most to who we want out the least were for an instant tribal. We only got thirty minutes to decide who to vote out (and everybody who wasn't around voted based on their list), with Regan being immune since she got the burger from the survivor auction. So I hit the ground running. I immediately hit up Quillynn and Trixie and floated the idea of taking Linus out. It was the safest option, and if Richie's envelope advantage turned out to be a clue to another idol, it was best to not go for him on such short notice. Then I was approached by Bryce and Richie, and I was able to get Richie to admit to me that his advantage was actually a double vote. I didn't want to believe it 100% until he actually played it, but fortunately he did so in his effort to blindside Eric, which I eventually decided not to be a part of. Eric was super extra on the live tribal and I think he's rubbing people the wrong way (including Rob oop) so he's a good person to bring farther into the game I believe. In the end, Linus was voted out 5-4 (with the votes for Eric being from Linus, Richie's doublevote, and Regan who went by her list), and I'm pretty satisfied. I would've been happy if Eric played his idol but I think we can make it work next round. I hadn't forgotten about Linus' flipping on Akito (who I would've taken to the final 3 in a heartbeat) and it felt good to give it right back to him. Okay that's about all that happened on my end, I'm ready to try to get that immunity necklace back. Byeee

okay so im a fucking mess in this game.... i played my idol and wasted it because there was some mysterious figure going around throwing my name out.. everyone but jackson came to me and said that my name was being thrown out and regan told me that she was told to tell rtp my name so clearly shit is going down but before the vote i hadnt heard from regan when i confronted her about rtp telling me that regan threw my name out so i was paranoid and i played my idol and it was dumb because hi instant tribal 2 minutes later!!! the instant was terrible because only me, jackson, eric, and bryce were online so trixie, linus, regan & quillynn couldnt be contacted to discuss the vote so half of the votes were a mystery.... linus was my #1, i have a good relationship with regan and trixie, ive had some game talks with bryce and quillynn that i feel like i could work with them if i needed to so it seemed like eric was the person i had the least connection with on this tribe but he was online so he would be able to play an idol if he thought he was in trouble... also the other name being thrown around was linus and i did not want that at alllllllllll.... i probably should have tried to throw one of the people who werent online at the time under the bus so that the fear of an idol play wouldnt be there but that would have only been regan, trixie, or quillynn and i didnt want to vote out regan or trixie under any reason and i know jackson and q are friends bc he's her mood message theyre not subtle so like i couldnt get jackson on my side for that so i came up with a plan that if me jackson and bryce all vote for eric thats 3/8 and i play my double vote advantage i won in the auction then thats 4/8 which would be enough to cause a tie but i was saying that since the people who werent active at the time would have their votes be cast by their lists that the votes would be all over the place so that the vote would look something like a 4-2-1-1 or something of the sort so that our 4 would have the majority.... and to ensure that eric wouldnt play his idol i went to him and ensured him that the plan was to vote out whoever he wanted and sell the fact i was with him none of that worked askdjhfkasjdfhaksfjh it came down to 4-4 votes between linus and eric and then the last vote comes in andddddddd it's for linus.... so not only did my closest and only real ally in this game leave but i also played my idol and my advantage + i just lied and fucked over eric so hes still in the game knowing that i just lied to him and used my advantage to try and vote him out......... im fucked huh lmao 

Regan Medevaced

Alright, so time to explain my full strategy since I haven't really had time to make full confessionals. My main alliance is with Jackson and Trixie, where I have been going under the radar, trying for Jackson to make all the moves for me, while I slide past another tribal. Jackson is also the only person I can trust because he trusts me. Richie and I had something going but he probably voted against me last tribal, so I have to rethink that. Quillynn NEEDS to go because trixie and quill will obviously take eachother to finals. I need trixie to trust jackson and myself more. I also need bryce and richie to think we are turning on eachother because I wouldn't be surprised if they thought we had something going on. I am glad my UTR strategy got me to f6 but this is when I need to make my move. I have something to say about having people make moves on my behalf, now I need to say I am capable of making my own moves. Wish me luck <3

IM SO DUMB LITERALLY I COULD HAVE WON IMMUNITY. I threw two questions so that eric wouldnt be extra mad at me and  then i lose by one point. and its f6 now so i wanted to win this I didnt care about f7 immunity. I wanted to be immune f6 idol f5 regan leaving is so annoying JKDSFJKSD its so easy to send in a list. I am going to have to blindside someone now or maybe idol ugh. I think eric is the easiest to blindside since hes away a lot. UGH more confessionals tomorrow i feel so dumb askdfhadsjkf

So I got Jackson on board my plan which is to get people to use their vote only on me so that I can waste their votes when I use my idol. There is no way I am not using it this round. Clearly the plan was a success because Richie came straight to me as soon as Jackson told me about the plan. The best person to go for my game right now would be Quillynn, so I would just have to throw the vote without telling a soul and praying that my plan worked.

I just told Jackson that he should vote me and I will vote someone else. If the plan goes perfectly, everyone will think the vote is me or Jackson, and I will have the deciding vote. The only thing to do now is to make people think that one person will unknowingly get a vote so that everyone doesn't freak out and play their idols.

Everyone is going to idol and its gonna be a mess! Woo!

I’ve offically tied my record in a survivor game by making it to top 6 and i’ve like barely tried compaired to my usual effort, I guess playing UTR does work huh. Also I doubt i’m leaing since we’ll like all be idoling

So my plan worked and now Richie at least appears to be going full on against Jackson (at least if what he has been telling me isn't lies). Right now, I could either go rogue and vote Quillynn, a move I need for my own game. This would be good for my game because Trixie and Quill have an obvious deal together, and I want Trixie to trust Jackson and myself more than Quill. But right now, if Jackson and I appear to be against eachother, it's also smart that we vote eachother expecting an idolpocalypse, which would reset the round with no one having idols. Although my current main target wouldn't be eliminated, Richie appears to be against Jackson, and Jackson now trusts me, and vice versa. I didn't even realize until it was all said and done that I basically asked Jackson to throw himself under the bus and he did just that for me. For that, he has my trust, for now. I don't know what's smarter for my game. I just want to make it to the next part of the game. This is definitely a thrussy thrasher.

[3:27:05 PM] Bryce: i heard people are doing eric [3:27:15 PM] Bryce: and then like if he idols then everyone idols i guess? [3:27:19 PM] Bryce: and we reset idk [3:27:22 PM] Bryce: I'm scared! [3:27:34 PM] Richie: obviously i’m down for that because i tried to get him out last time and failed [3:27:46 PM] Bryce: yaaa like same my b about last time KFDSK [3:27:58 PM] Richie: however i need to talk to you about something [3:28:10 PM] Bryce: okay [3:28:23 PM] Richie: trixie and quillynn just went to final 2 together in another game [3:28:36 PM] Bryce: Omg woah oh in unoava? [3:28:37 PM] Richie: and jackson and quillynn are good friends from outside the game [3:28:39 PM] Bryce: go them! [3:28:41 PM] Bryce: oh wow yikes [3:28:42 PM] Bryce: KJDSFHKJDS [3:28:52 PM] Richie: so if we vote out eric [3:28:53 PM] Bryce: i love knowing no one... [3:28:55 PM] Richie: and those 3 and us 2 [3:28:59 PM] Richie: we’re fucked [3:29:30 PM] Bryce: hmm true so we would have to make the move and work with eric? does he know you voted him last time [3:29:43 PM] Richie: theres no scenario in that final 5 where the 2 of us survive [3:30:43 PM] Richie: id probably be taken out before you at final 5 if i lose immunity but then you’d be in a must win situation in final 4 where if you lose you’re fucked [3:31:03 PM] Bryce: hmm yeah ahh ugh i didn't realize that people all were like in games and knew each other [3:31:13 PM] Bryce: that's so troubling yikes! [3:31:23 PM] Richie: and even if you’re in final 3 with 2 of them they have the friends on jury and its apparent from touchy subjects that jackson is seen as the ringleader of this game [3:32:02 PM] Bryce: wait but i was just talking with quillynn about her mood message because it said 7-2 loser and she said she was a little sad about the outcome so maybe she isn't close with Trixie as much now after the end result? [3:32:13 PM] Bryce: yaa Jackson got a lot of good stuff [3:32:27 PM] Richie: i didn’t get a single answer lmao [3:32:28 PM] Bryce: i didn't realize at the time that the 7 voted for Trixie tho [3:32:41 PM] Bryce: omg yaa robbed your Nicole gifs are always great and humorous [3:32:47 PM] Richie: I’m irrelevant in this game lmao [3:32:56 PM] Bryce: i thought everyone was voting you for funny one KDHS [3:33:28 PM] Richie: i mean i obviously deserved that because I’m hilarious and amazing but even i put down trixie bc i don’t talk to anyone enough for them to realize how funny i am adsfj [3:34:33 PM] Bryce: hmm okay so our plan would to be what exactly? like we would need eric on our side right? because if he makes it to f5 and we get one of Jackson Trixie or Quillynn out then wont they just work with him and we're in the same position [3:35:33 PM] Richie: yeah I’m thinking if i go to him and talk to him about that group of 3 and say like the best route for him is for the 3 of us to go forward together [3:36:15 PM] Richie: then he goes to them and tells them he’s with them and acts confidently enough into making them think he won’t play an idol??? [3:36:38 PM] Bryce: hmm okay yeah for it to work he has to be with us so we aren't just doomed again at f5 [3:36:50 PM] Bryce: wait he tells them that me/you/him are a thing? [3:36:55 PM] Bryce: wont that be bad? [3:36:57 PM] Richie: nooo [3:37:21 PM] Richie: I’m assuming that they’re going to tell him that you’re the vote for the night [3:37:32 PM] Richie: because they won’t use any of their names for the decoy [3:37:36 PM] Richie: and you’re the only other option [3:38:08 PM] Bryce: ooh smart yeah [3:38:16 PM] Richie: so if he goes to them and says like hey ill vote out bryce i trust you guys [3:38:29 PM] Richie: and then we tell them we’re voting eric [3:38:53 PM] Richie: so they think it will be 5-1 eric and hope that eric doesn’t play his idol [3:39:03 PM] Bryce: oooh okay wow this is good if we can pull it off [3:39:14 PM] Bryce: just need eric to not leak [3:39:48 PM] Richie: the only thing is that if eric plays his idol and they’re like fuck and play theirs after [3:40:08 PM] Richie: but i think its worth the risk [3:40:31 PM] Richie: bc i’ll take the gamble that at least one of them won’t be around to play their idol live [3:40:35 PM] Bryce: ooh yaa but even then wed all play idols and itd reset right [3:40:50 PM] Richie: yeah that would be worst case scenario [3:40:52 PM] Bryce: and me you eric are then in a 3 v 3 situation ahhh okay cant let hat happen [3:41:14 PM] Richie: i mean its a very risky play [3:41:36 PM] Richie: but the alternative is just voting out eric and taking our chances in final 5 immunity challenge [3:42:43 PM] Richie: if it works we’re on a path to the end if it doesn’t then we’re in a shitty position but we’re in a shitty position anyway [3:43:09 PM] Bryce: i just feel like everyone voting eric and then he idols and then we reset and vote him out again is easier?  i just don't want to do this and unite the 3 against us if they aren't actually together [3:43:39 PM] Richie: well i’ve known that jackson and q have been together for a long time [3:43:49 PM] Bryce: like maybe theyre just playing me but i don't think that those 3 are a super tight thing and that wed be able to swing someone on our side at f5 i thought that Quillynn and you were super close [3:44:17 PM] Richie: you know i wanted eric out baaaad [3:44:32 PM] Richie: i really like q trixie and jackson a lot [3:45:04 PM] Richie: but i just can see whats going to happen and it doesn’t look good for either of us and id hate to just go along with the plan bc i like them and then we’re fucked [3:47:01 PM] Bryce: omg ahhh i just don't want to make a play that blows up in our face when maybe its unnecessary like i don't see quilynn and Jackson both wanting to go to the end together esp when it she just lost a game so she prob wants to win this one and Jackson is seen as the one in charge so its more likely hed win [3:48:46 PM] Richie: i do think that if we vote out eric tonight and then we could possibly get trixie over to vote out jackson next time [3:49:00 PM] Richie: but if eric leaves tonight then jackson still has his idol next round [3:50:03 PM] Bryce: hmmm ahhh true wed all have idols but you and then youd have to win immunity or be ciried out [3:50:54 PM] Richie: true [3:51:04 PM] Bryce: ugh [3:53:58 PM] Richie: http://78.media.tumblr.com/7e38d14c8d831bc876c2b19403502d66/tumblr_ov5fnf06f01vzwwmeo3_250.gif [3:54:42 PM] Richie: okay [3:54:59 PM] Bryce: I'm like cleaning my room and trying to think [3:55:19 PM] Richie: what if we vote eric tonight but tell him to play his idol so that sets off the chain reaction of everyone playing their idol so we start final 6 over fresh [3:55:23 PM] Bryce: if we vote out eric we need to make everyone use their idols so that you don't get ciried [3:55:27 PM] Bryce: yeah [3:56:04 PM] Richie: then final 6 round 2 we either try and talk to one of them to make it 4-2 or we vote out eric and then final 5 we make out move without any idols in the way??? [3:58:10 PM] Bryce: yeah I think that's the best way just make sure that eric doesn't out who told him to play it and then everyone idols and we do 5-1 and then we can get Trixie on our side at f5 [3:58:41 PM] Richie: we can maybe make an alliance chat with eric tell him we’re with him but we’re going to vote for him tonight so that they think that we’re with them and can try and get one of them on our side to save him next time [3:59:23 PM] Bryce: okay yeah just have to be careful eric doesn't leak because Jackson said they were close [3:59:28 PM] Richie: ugh [3:59:49 PM] Bryce: he said he talks to him but then he also was the first person to throw his name out for this tribal to me [3:59:54 PM] Richie: same [4:09:43 PM] Bryce: I tried talking to eric and he said no one threw out any names yet so either its true or hes been told me and hes just not mentioning it to me [7:46:50 PM] Richie: im nervous [7:47:01 PM] Bryce: omg me too FKDSJH [7:47:04 PM] Richie: i talked to eric a lot [7:47:28 PM] Bryce: ooh what did he say [7:47:31 PM] Bryce: is he idoling? [7:47:42 PM] Richie: i told him to [7:48:56 PM] Bryce: okay get ready for a reset! [7:49:00 PM] Bryce: who is he voting? [7:50:55 PM] Richie: he wants to vote jackson because i told him it was jackson who threw his name out [7:51:15 PM] Bryce: ooh ok that's the tea lets have such a fun tribal I'm ready [7:51:23 PM] Bryce: but like so nervous [7:51:24 PM] Bryce: KFKSJDFHJKS SCREAMING HATE THIS TRIBAL SO MUCH ITS RESETTING ALSO RICHIE IS DOING THIS BECAUSE HES GONNA GET CIRIED IF HE DOESNT WIN IMMUNITY AT F5!!!!  im so confused

i tried to come up with like 50 different plans tonight lmao... i found out that trixie and quillynn just went to final 2 together in another game bc of quillynns mood message which is the same way that i realized jackson and q were friends so she needs to watch that bc thats how im getting all my tea lmao i talked to bryce and i outlined the fact that trixie/quillynn/jackson are a dangerous trio and if we vote out eric tonight then we'll be final 5 with those 3 and they'll have majority... i dont really know if i believe that those 3 are actually a real alliance but thats not stopping me from trying to turn bryce against them to put the target there idc if its true i had just enough info to make it seem like its true.... i manically came up with like 10 different plans where we try and form a 3 person alliance of me/bryce/eric and take out one of those jackson/q/trixie so that we had majority in final 5 (mind you i literally just used a double vote advantage to try and vote out eric and with regan being evac'd i'm the only person on this tribe that voted for eric those those 5 all voted out linus at the instant and now here i am trying to get eric to trust me and work with me to vote out jackson who 2 days ago i told an explicit plan about how i wanted eric out and what i was going to do and here i am baiting eric with a very small tea of jackson saying eric's name once lmao) anyways  none of those plans work bc they hinge on eric playing his idol and if eric plays his idol then they all play their idols which isnt the most effective play but my original idea once i won immunity was to cause as much chaos as possible so that everyone is paranoid and plays their idol that way i'm not cirie'd next time bc im the only one without an idol...

Voting Confessionals

(Voting for Eric) this sucks but I think  its the only possibility

(Voting for Eric) http://78.media.tumblr.com/276b29c6a519f0e7b5c71e7715f4f979/tumblr_of3pgb9XZH1vzwwmeo7_r1_250.gif

(Voting for Eric) hey you know why i'm voting for you so no big deal

Everyone played their idol.

Everyone is immune.

Quillynn, Jackson, Bryce, and Richie voted Eric.

Trixie voted Bryce

Eric voted Jackson

[survivorsolomonislands]

Episode 7 “a clusterf*ck of paranoia”- Daisy

WEFUC K WE  SDFEDSX JUST VTOTED OUT KAREN FUCK AND I'M TRYNA RALLY OUR SPIRTS SBACK UP AND THEN ISAAC STARTS REMOVIN PEOPLE'S GRASSY ASSES FUCK FUKFCJD FUFK FUCK WE FEDS THIS HAS GOT TO BE A FUCKING MERBE A MERGE AT 14 HOLY GOLLY GOSH GOOD MOLLY MOSH WHAT THE FUCKDJX FUCK FUCK FKPDSOF I NEEDED MORE TIME FRIFODKF FCK

(a little bit later)

I'VE BEEN DYING TO MEET JOHNNY AND I FINALLY DID AND HE'S FUCKING EVERYTHING I'VE EVER FUCKING WANTED IN LIFE HE CALLS ME HOMIE AND I SWEAR TO GOD HE'S NOT LIKE EVERY OTHER FRAT BOY YOU'VE MET HE'S BEAUTIFUL AND GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH HIM BUT I ALSO WANT TO KILL HIM AND STRANGLE HIM BUT I FUCKING LOVE EVERY SECOND OF THE EXPERIENCE I LOVE HOW MUCH I HATE HIM

https://youtu.be/JNaS_mOM3yY

first off rest in peace karen i thought you were supposed to be good since you play so much but.. i suppose the mighty power of the chicken wing is not a force in tumblr survivor. anywho, so we switched like everyone expected but for some reason everyone thought it was a fun idea to freak out and be like "omg is it merge???" "WHATS GOING ON" "I DONT UNDERSTAND" ctfu yall literally knew damn well what was happening. its final 14 like it aint rocket science. as for my tribe, ive said it before and i will say it again - I HATE PURPLE!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! it is just not flattering against my skin tone and that is literally my number one concern at the moment. that might insult those who play this game like its life or death but to me... this is a very big aspect of my luck in the game. every time (literally not even joking) i get some ugly ass color, im fucked thats just the way it is and the weird blue that luca insists is cyan - get a crayon set pls - was working just fine for me! i was slayyyyinngggg without doing anything meaningful which is all that matters to me since its really fun watching people go crazy while i just sit here eating my nuggets in the break room. current thoughts of my tribemates and fellow one worlders: johnny - king of making final 2's and being in a frat. a dumbass who spilled his entire game once we swapped and got ratted out the second he did. stupid stupid stupid! i need him as a number tho so i cant be hasty with my opinions tho so like a 6/10 dana - has a paper to write. thats all i got right now 4/10 l.a. - A LITERAL FUCKING GODDESSSSSSS! all of the rookies should be bowing at her feet for trying so hard to make them safe cause if i was her... they would get a stern talking to and no help at all (plus she can clearly count which is more than i can do). 100000000/10 luca - literally victor next (i dont actually think he is victor but this dude is seriously wack like i just do not understand why he had the need to call me a grandma when im not even that old? like where is the residential hag when i need her zzzz. also he said he likes skype emojis and then used the cactus emoji which victor also uses so clearly something fucked up is happening!!!!!!!!) 1-ish/10 mitchell - fake hoe next (tho i do love the flattery so i guess they are right in saying it gets you everywhere cause ya got a ticket right on the bottom - word of the wise btwwww, next time you play pls stop taking advice from ya eggs cause they clearly do not help just ask karen in prejury hehe) 1-ish/10 ryan - king of all things survivor. how has he not won a ts season.... 10/10 allie - is from florida so either an icon like me or is like cole tbd. as luca said, can "air hump" really well??? not really useful info but thats all i got so next??? aro - im the 1. next. daisy - i hate the smell of flowers :| next jacob - legend was tagged in some nice pictures on facebook recently so he can stay. matt - lmao next willow - our friend willow teas? what comes after 6.gif. next. i really do not like talking to people and sadly i must. tho i just finished this one kdrama and it was like 50 episodes and the dad died literally in the last half hour of the entire show.... im crying i really am HE WAS A GOOD FUCKING PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the world is so cruel and so harsh to the loving but so kind to the evil where did we go wrong :'( PPPPPPPS : [4/18/17, 11:29:35 PM] nancy.sweitzer: shut up trump supporter [4/18/17, 11:29:42 PM] nancy.sweitzer: i have receipts of you supporting trump BB i need some food to watch this with so lets have reward hm?

I'm both so happy and scared about this swap. BLESS ULAWA BEING GONE. THAT WAS THE WORST TRIBE. IT DOESN'T DESERVE TO EXIST. But yeah, a few people came to me and were like you carried that tribe and are amazing, and as nice as that is, YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR IT ON SURVIVOR. Cause now I have a huge target on my back for being a "challenge icon". I do not trust Daisy or Aro at all either so I'm worried they will gun for me, but they are both on the other tribe so that's a plus... Maybe, this one world thing doesn't help me there. Now I have to catch up with Jacob, and the rest of the alliance and see where we all stand. I'm trying to set something up with Johnny as well cause we sort of clicked at the start and I need people.

im too sick to carry on. i cant even see the light im too far gone

Hi MTV welcome to my own private corner of Hell. Seriously I guess my burning desire for some action really warranted this swap that put me in a terrible ass position. I love the One World beach because I can wave to literally every single person I was working with as they wear their Makira buffs with pride and I am stuck with all Rookies and Zak! The only people I know are Zak and Jacob, and Zak threw Daisy's name out and Jacob says he trusts Daisy so I can't even wrangle all my loose allies to form a little alliance. I'm just going to use my social game to earn favor with people like Willow and Allie so that I can maybe survive juuuuuust long enough to make it to the merge and reconnect with my homies. I'm sort of praying for a miracle, but I'm also going to do whatever I can to survive, and if that means throwing Jacob or Zak under the bus then so be it. I am scrambling like eggs in the morning. Hopefully I can convince people to target Aro for his wishy washy nature and because I have planted the seed that he has an idol, and honestly maybe he does, so I smell a blindside coming up, but if they're not willing to budge then I could be a dead boy walken.

Dana mom doesnt approve of the act of sending nudes but like I don't spread em like seeds in a pumpkin patch (like this swap is doing w my alliance tbqh) or anything not everyone gets to see the goods

(a little bit later)

All right binches here's the tea! Daisy has an idol, and is trying to get people to think aro has the idol bc he made up a lie about a fake idol that he doesn't have, which saved his ass a few rounds back, and Jacob and Allie are saying Aro is sketchy. NOW thats not what I like hearing because Aro is my husband and all, so automatically my Worry Senses are tingling as they usually are it would seem. What I'm tryna do is scrape together a me/willow/aro/Matt majority (since allie apparently doesn't trust aro so I can't trust her) but I suck at approaching people so it sucks that dana and Mitchell aren't on my tribe to help me :( but get for being the least experienced vet in tumblr left in this game I think I'm in a moderately decent position

Well Day 2 of NuNuTemoana is quite interesting, I'm starting to create scenarios that will hopefully put me in a good situation. A) NuNuMakira will throw the challenge and vote out Luca or LA and B) I create an alliance with Willow and Allie and we become the swing votes between Jacob/Daisy and Zak/Aro and if Daisy or Aro have idols they're shooting their bullets at each other and I've got a bulletproof vest. Fingers crossed.

I'm gonna model the rest of my game after Cirie bc boy does she have me fucked up seven ways to Sunday right-about-now o'clock Also I'm not gonna be home again after tomorrow until May except for one day in between so this whole new tribe/quickly approaching merge thing is gonna get really sad for me when I randomly just disappear forever :)

The past few days have been a whirlwind. From uncovering that dirty business with Matt to this One World swap, I find myself in a tribe in which I'm not sure if I can stay safe. It hurts that I can't compete in this next immunity too. I trust Johnny/LA, but as far as the rest? Question marks all over. I like Mitchell a lot, still haven't talked with Dana much, I have no clue about Ryan/Lexi but Johnny says Lexi is tight with him. So I'm really not sure what happens if we lose an immunity here, and winning challenges might be my only shot to stay in the game. So what happens next? No clue.

MMMMHMHMHMHMHMHM YES!!! Willow finally spilled the tea which confirmed our suspicions on Karen :))) now alls I need is Lexi to get the fuck out and I can be satisfied by outlasting all the snakes

So I've officially worked my way into an alliance with Allie and Willow, hopefully they're not playing me and we can actually work towards getting out Daisy or Aro. Now Mitchell wants me to get Daisy out so we can rope in Aro and Zak at the merge but I also have somewhat of a relationship with Jacob from nuTemoana and he seems to have a relationship with Daisy so I am hopefully safely in the middle of this tribe and will be deciding this vote, but there's also a large chance I'm gonna get squashed smack dab in the middle. I mean ideally we win immunity and the other tribe can get out LA or Luca which would be great. I need these rookie numbers thinned like the mints so that I have options if I'm in the merge. I have my Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. Alliance which is Ryan, Mitchell, and Dana, I have nuTemoana which is Johnny, Jacob, Lex, and Ryan, and I have a possible alliance with Allie, Willow, and Mitchell. Preferably I wanna work with Mitchell because I trust him the most so far. But of course none of these numbers I'm running in my head matter if I can't make it until the merge which is crazy to me.

i wasnt successful in covering up my misery. i dont even know why i said i could do it since the only thing on that entire menu (all of the drink choices included) i actually do enjoy is the oreos so who knows what i was thinking. im going to get voted out i really am

tag yourself. im luca saying he cant compete cause they use blue solo cups instead of red solo cups in his country. isaac is la's roommate not letting her use her waterbottle. andrew is ryan only having glass in his house. pippa is matt actually doing this. stefan is willow beating the crap out of me. IM GOING HOME

Well I couldn't get it done today and that's a little disheartening, I definitely feel like I could be in danger and when you have the chance to save yourself and don't do it it sucks. I guess now my focus is on playing this game for like the first time this season honestly, a lot of things are at stake in this tribal, there's idols there's alliances there's tribe swaps, there's beef in this game, and I feel like hopefully I can shift the attention towards Daisy vs. Aro, but there's also a lurking nuMakira alliance that might form and getting an Ulawa out wouldn't do anything in the long run but I need to play to make it so that I'm safe until tomorrow or else there won't even be a long run. I wanted to be in a position where I could run a marathon but instead I'm like running a relay race tribal to tribal. If I get rid of Daisy Jacob may lose trust in me and join a Makira alliance, but also maybe I'll just join the Makira alliance myself? I mean I told myself I would do what it takes to win, my obligations are to myself at this point, not Temoana not Makira, not Vets, but MESELF. Well who knows at this point what's gonna happen, hopefully my plan works.

MATT STFU CALLING ME OUT IN THE MAIN CHAT YOU MOTHERFUCKER! Literally your ass would not be in this game right now if I didn't win the challenge where we counted in our confessional. The plan was in play, you were going to be gone, we had the numbers, and now you're on a tribe where it's minority veterans, so hopefully Allie and Willow aren't idiots, and they just take out Matt because he's kind of an arrogant prick, but I'm sure that something sketchy is going to happen, and they're going to take out a rookie, probably Aro or Daisy since apparently they're being sketchy motherfuckers. Grrrrrrrr Matt needs to stfu. I still have quotes of him talking about LA, so I might use that to my advantage, but we'll see how this goes for now. I'm not ready for merge and these unpredictable motherfuckers in Allie and Willow.... I have no idea where either of their heads are at. As for my tribe right now, I'm 99% sure that Lex, Ryan and I are in the driver's seat on this tribe, with Luca, LA, Mitchell and Dana all wanting to work with us. I wouldn't mind losing to get rid of Dana, because I really really really want her out, simply because I haven't spoken to her as much, and I'd prefer to have good relationships with everyone once we get to merge, and I don't want anyone to think about taking me out of this game because I don't have a good enough relationship with them, so we'll see for now. Ryan hinted this morning that he'd prefer Mitchell to go home over Dana, but I want Dana to go home, and I wanna keep my brolationship with Mitchell for as long as I can. This is just fuel for fire I can use against Ryan if I have to, to get Mitchell to trust me, since according to Ryan, Mitchell is obsessed with me.. I also won the challenge for my tribe single handedly because I'm the king of this game, and no one is on my level strategically, socially or physically if we're being honest. I just need to NOT be known as that big threat once I get to merge. Time to just pit people against each other and throw shit and sound dumb like I always  do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fuck this is so nerve wracking. I hate that I'm at tribal again. And I've recently been really anxious about the fact that L.A. knows I have an idol, and just now I found out that a lot of people know that I have it. Which means L.A. has been telling people. Which also means that I'm kind of screwed. I want to get out Aro because I know how tricky he is and how terrible he is in challenges, but he has the idol and if he plays it I could very well be going home. Plus I'm realizing that I don't really have any solidified alliances with a lot of these people so I could easily be targeted, especially since they think I have an idol. Honestly part of me just wants to play it tonight and get rid of it and get it off my back. Or give it to someone. But if I give it to someone, then other people will still think I have it and I'll still be a target. I could try to split the votes, but that seems kind of aggressive and I don't want to make myself a target if I'm not one already. Ugh, fuck. I wish I had someone to talk this over with.

(a little bit later)

Whew I know I just submitted but I have so many thoughts right now. Aro seems to think things are gonna go along tribe lines and it's gonna be me and him as swing votes. Willow brought up Aro's name to me. I'm nervous that Willow maybe brought up his name to make me feel more secure about it, and maybe I'm the target. Maybe Aro is right and things are gonna go along past tribe lines but I don't really want to work with him. Maybe I could try to split the votes between me and Aro and I'll play my idol and get rid of it. That would be dumb though, right? I hate that we have so little time and that like, no one is online right now. It's so hard to plan. Jacob told me he cast his vote for Aro because he only had a couple minutes before he had to leave and he wouldn't be gone. So theres gonna be at least one vote for him. Unless everyone is lying to me. Fuck I'm so paranoid right now, but I don't know how to figure out if its just paranoia or if there's actually something there. Also I'm trying to seem invested in planning out the vote with Aro so that he doesn't think I'm targeting him, but he could also quote me to others and make them think I'm targeting them. So now it seems like I have Willow, Matt, Jacob, and Allie all voting for Aro with me. Aro wants to target a vet and apparently he's close with Zakriah which means we may want to divert Zakriah too so that he doesn't leak to Aro and have him play an idol. But now I'm worried by suggesting that we divert Zakriah I'm playing too aggressively. Ugh. Aro said he's gonna talk to the rookies and see who they would rather vote for, I told them I'm trying to divert him so that they're not confused or surprised that he says I wanna vote for a vet when I already targeted him. This is a lot to deal with, and we don't have a lot of time. Tbh this confessional is a clusterfuck of paranoia.

Okay so I'm out with friends and don't have time to write a real confessional but I don't wanna get a strike. So if I get home in time I'll write a real confessional yeah

I think for the first time in Survivor history one of my plans is actually working, it seems that Daisy is totally sold that Aro is going and voting me and it's awesome if she ends up getting blindsided as intended. Jacob is getting two votes because he sucks and I want him to know he should be worried, he threw my name out, and he's untrustworthy, even after like I pretended like i was interested in his crush that he talks about at least once a day, it's almost more satisfying knowing that I can flip and get him out if I really wanted to. In fact I have my choice to vote Daisy, Aro, or Jacob, and if I'm not getting played that wold mean I've spun this terrible swap into a great spot for myself, and I love it. See what happens when I get a chance to really play?

I am so screeeeewed. So basically everyone except Daisy and Jacob wants to vote for Daisy but I am about 90% sure this is bs and I am getting set up for a big blindside. Well, it wont really be a blindside now but rip me

Okay so I only really have 13 mins to type out a fuck ton of information. This vote is crazy, so much has happened and we only had a few hours to strategize for this tribal. Anyway originally me and Allie were thinking about voting Daisy bc she told LA she has an idol, but then LA sent screenshots of Aro's idol. So I was panicking for a moment bc I thought it was real, but I talked to people, and he was probably really desperate, so i think were sticking to voting out Aro. I'm just typing out the short version of what actually happened, bc I don't have a lot of time, but basically me and Allie are the swing votes and I hope everything goes as planned.

As we near tribal Im starting to get the teeniest glimmer of hope. Willow, Allie and Matt seems to be pretty interested in working with me. If it goes according to plan its going to be 3 votes Daisy, 2 votes Jacob and 2 votes me. However Im still about 80% sure that Im going to get blindsided tonight so fingers crossed

[survivekohsai]

Episode 5 - I Just Want To Go Chill On The Beach With My Friends ~ Quillynn

THIS TRIBE IS FUCKING UGLY OH MY GOD  IM GONNA SCREAM. *screams* dana Im going to kill you and yes I blame dana for everything. Anyone, putting me on a tribe IN THE MINORITY  and on a tribe with ryan of all people... well might as well just dig my grave now. Like rest in peace regan. May 28th, 1998- October 2nd 2017 rip

I'm glad this is happening. We have the comp beasts besides Regan on our side, AND we also have Akito. So it's tit for tat. Hopefully we can have some Yala tribe alliance going. However, I like Jackson. He's seems really nice. Also Jordan can go because he hates us all so bye. And why did Ry block Akito? I now love that they mutinied.

wow i mutiny'd, blocked this whole tribe, didn't use my idol and still stayed during tribal. lol 

So I talked big during the voting confessionals. AND GUESS WHO JOINS!!! Bryce... AINT THAT NICE but tbh i talk big yet i cant help myself but now I have to lie about certain people because i need to build trust and relationships.

I swear to god if they send Jordan Means to Exile im quitting because people should want him gone ASAP!!!! He's a target in everyone's radar and if he makes it to the end like god almighty it's like Drew All over again.

*clap* I hope we win!

Okay havent done one of these since the swap but here goes. I am not happy with this swap because even tho i have raf as an ally im not really liking not being with richie and regan seeing as how they actually do well in challenges. Luckily the other tribe still has a bunch of inactives but regan and richie have shown in the past that they can solo carry a chalenge so im worried. Especially since trixie wanted to go to exile and then wouldnt let us send regan. i was away at the time and it sucks because i really think we should have sent regan or richie so they couldnt compete instead of quinlynn who idk if they are really playing. Luckily the challenge is something im not bad at so maybe I'll do well. Plus we did  win reward by a landslide so maybe the other tribe will bring regan and richie down. speaking of the reward i think some people like erased their names last minute which is sus but w/e!! We still won. But im looking to make something with jackson and raf because i like them both and maybe rtp but i feel like raf and him wont work together idk?

Im going to miss kelsey and linus but fuck regan and jordan lol! I don’t even care game wise i just want to go chill on the beach with my friends~

The curse is broken!!!! Final 13 and possible Merge is coming!!

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my fifth confessional.

I'm not going to to tribal!! Thanks to a tribe swap that basically gutted old Rayong (leaving only me and Akito left), new Rayong won reward AND immunity and THEN we gained Quillynn from a mutiny! this is the best shit ever because now Ryan and Jordan (who i don't want to play with) are stuck on a losing tribe with Regan (who I've heard can be temperamental) and it's going to drive them up the wall. Hopefully Jordan's wasted idol play will come back to bite him and he'll get voted out because I would still prefer that Kelsey and Linus survive. Anyway I've gotten to know pretty much everyone on the new tribe except for Eric and Ryan T., who seem nice but haven't really been responsive to me except for in the group chat. If we lose, I'd kinda like to see one of them go but to be honest I'd be fine with riding a series of wins until the merge. Okay bye I'm procrastinating too much

i hate..... everything i was on a tribe that didnt lose a single challenge, i didnt have any 1 on 1 private conversations or relationships with anyone on the tribe but we all got along well and had worked well as a group so i was satisfied.... then yall swap and now im on a tribe of 7 where 5 of the people were from the flop tribe so not only am i in the minority but i'm in the minority where the majority was on a tribe that couldnt win a challenge to save their lives so unsurprisingly we lost this immunity and now its time for tribal with people who ive never talked to :) :) :) quillynn mutinied so thats one less person to have to worry about but still it could easily be a 4 vs 2 vote and the 1 person from my original tribe is regan who i love dearly shes truly one of the most iconic people of all time but in my list of people who are reliable game strategists i can count on to come up with plans and bounce ideas off of shes not necessarily someone i can do that with...... i did talk to Ryan a little bc we were on the same starting tribe before he mutinied so i got some light tea from him regarding the dynamics of the other tribe and he said that the alliances on the pther side were a 5 person alliance of akito, Jackson, quillynn, Kelsey and linus versus tyler, isaac and jordan.... tyler and isaac are gone so jordan stands alone from that minority group + its kinda weird that quillyn mutinied onto a tribe where original yala has the numbers especially since she was on a tribe with linus and kelsey who ryan said she was in an alliance with????  but maybe shes closer to akito and jackson + the other tribe is full of the people who kept winning challenges so idk but regardless idk whats going to go down for this vote but im annoyed that im on a tribe with a bunch of people who suck and im miserable

I AM A CHALLENGE GOD!! NO MATTER WHAT TRIBE IM ON I WILL BE INVINCIBLE BET EVERYONE WANTS TO BE ME HUH. jk omg im so glad to be on this tribe thats winning. people joining this tribe? not cool.... hope Q is nice tho. I feel like jackson is a threat tbh but like im gonna idol myself and vote him when we lose so watch out

I don't even know what to say. Tribe swap, sure, now that Akito and Jackson are both gone, I'm stuck with an angry Jordan, an unsure Linus, Quill who's just...THERE and these new people. Richie seems very close to me and I do feel confident talking with him and then there's Regan...girl. I feel very shaky around Regan. She's hit or miss, and when she misses, she misses pretty badly...but eh, I'll work with what I've got. Now, going into the tribal, it would be spectacularly easy to vote out Quill because of her absences but I'm the LAST person to judge on that area so...it's hard. Now that Jordan is rather distant from me, I could easily vote him out but I really do want to be in the end of the game with him and I want us to do as swell as possible. Out of everyone...I don't know. I'd rather vote for Ryan. But GOD. I have been to FIVE. BLOODY. ELIMINATIONS. IN A ROW. Geez LOUISE, I hate that this is happening. Girl, I'll do whatever it takes to get the crown, don't get me wrong...but WHY is this HAPPENING?!? I can't keep doing this...I really can't. My tribe has GOT to pull it together. It's testing me, I'm really ready to just go off on everyone for their lack of trying. I know that I TURNED this last immunity out so...WHAT'S the tea??? I just hope that I will just get a week to SIT and RELAX with these people. Because currently, there's no time to talk about life, we have to cut hookers WEEK after WEEK and it's...tiring. Girl, I can't even tell you where I'm going this week. Hopefully, straight back to camp. Let's give it everything we got.... *sigh* And THAT'S all there is to it~! W-We've got to win eventually...right? -Kelsey V Mikaelson

I am glad we won the challenge because honestly, I didn't really know my position in the tribe and whether or not I could be a target. Everyone seems so social and I wouldn't be surprised that most of them are in alliances without me.

I am happy Quillynn is back with us? But also I feel like I have to stick with Jackson's Alliance... despite me wanting to make moves but looking at how this game goes on forward. Trixie/Regan alliance is far more powerful then us. So if Linus and Kelsey are still here to the end, I may have to betray Quillynn and Jackson at that time. I hope I can make it through. 

hi im happy to be on a tribe with jackson and quil. boba tea + fish has arrived!!

So what the fuck do i even have to talk about...havent lost a fucking challenge yet which is awesome...and now ppl are mutinying to us...its getting interesting...im still being the old gramps and no one is even talking to me...but we will see how this goes lmfao

I hope these people vote me out because I don't like them and I threw the challenge because I don't like them.

Here's your confessional stop blowing up my inbox!!

Voting Confessionals

Meh whatever, I vote for Jordan

Kelsey was medevaced