#might be a LITTLE FUCKING IMPORTANT TO LEIA

[nymph1e]

so im neck deep doing research for a fic and uh

is that her actual, canonical name? Bruh. no it ain't

[jo-harrington]

Lack of Faith (Eddie Munson)

Summary: Eddie Munson. Dungeon Master, Rock Star Wannabe, King of the Freaks and the Nerds. Can you believe that he doesn't like Star Wars?

Characters: Eddie Munson, Corroded Coffin, Wayne Munson, Dustin Henderson, Mike Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair

Themes/Warnings: Our nerdy boy being a nerd, and his nerdlings making him worse, Star Wars references, might borrow some dialogue from the movie Fanboys (2009), boys will be boys, angst-ish, hurt/comfort-ish?, friendship, reference to some FOI characters, don't worry about it.

Note: This has been a thought that's lingered in my mind for quite some time as I am a HUGE Star Wars fan. And a little talk with @br0ck-eddie today (an unrelated topic) brought this back to the forefront of my mind. Tagging @fracturedarkness and @courtingchaos for no reason other than "you'll like it."

This is not an xReader fic. This is about Eddie and Star Wars and if you nerf-herders can't accept that, you can get the kriff out of here. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT JIZZ IS, KEEP FUCKING MOVING NORMIE.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

It was a normal lunch period.

Well, as normal as it could be when you sat at Hellfire Club's table in the cafeteria. There was no talk of homework, or dates, or crushes.

Instead Gareth was tapping a beat against the edge of the table with two unsharpened No.2 pencils, Dave was working on a new character sheet with Eddie after he suffered a tragic and untimely death during their last session, and the freshman were arguing about something down at their end of the table.

Their heads were bent together, occasionally Mike would throw his head back and groan, and then get right back to his furious whispers. And although Eddie, gracious and fearless leader that he was, was typically grateful that they kept their mindless drivel to themselves, today he was curious.

He could hear little tidbits of their conversation and they intrigued him enough:

"...they still kissed."

"That was to make Han jealous."

"That was the second time, what about the first time?"

"The first time they were about to die!" Dustin got to his feet now, staring at Mike with wide, incredulous eyes. "They were swinging ten-thousand feet in the air!"

"Hey!" Eddie shouted at them now, as kids at the surrounding tables started to stare and laugh. And usually, yes, he'd flip them off, tell them to mind their own business. Pull the whole freak card to get them to look away. The freshman needed to learn when to not place a target on their own backs; he hopefully wouldn't be here to protect them forever. "Shut up! Sit down!"

The three boys immediately clamped their mouths shut and Dustin sunk back into his seat as the older boys snickered.

"What's so important that you're about to start throwing punches over there?" Eddie questioned. The boys seemingly made themselves smaller and Eddie had to sigh. "Come on, I'm not gonna bite your heads off."

The entirety of Hellfire Club shot a skeptical look at him and his rolled his eyes.

"M-maybe you can help us," Mike suggested. "We're in the middle of a debate."

"A debate? What kind of debate?"

"One of the utmost importance," Dustin said desperately. "Because Mike is insane."

"I am not! You're the one who's lost it. 'There's something innate.' Did we even watch the same movie?"

The boys all started to bicker again, louder this time, and Eddie needed to whistle to get them to quit it.

"See that's not very helpful. Why don't you tell me what movie, and what the problem is, and I can offer final and absolute judgement."

"Because you're right all the time," Jeff muttered under his breath to Gareth, causing Eddie to toss an eraser at him good-naturedly.

"Star Wars," the three freshman all answered simultaneously, and then they started talking over each other about whether Luke and Leia knew they were siblings when they kissed or if he had a thing for Leia and if Han was really weirded out by it all when he found out.

They were so caught up in their explanation that they didn't notice the members of Corroded Coffin get all tense, or the way that Eddie began to clench his fists and grit his teeth.

Until aforementioned lead guitarist stood up himself and hauled his backpack over his shoulder. They all stared at him, his bandmates with fearful eyes, and the freshman with hopeful ones.

"Easy," Eddie answered with a sardonic smile. "Star Wars is a dumb shit movie and you shouldn't waste your breath arguing over it."

And he walked past his friends just as the bell rang signaling the end of the period.

---

"What do you mean you don't like Star Wars?"

"Drop it Henderson."

"Is it...are you more of a Trek fan? Is that it?"

"It's not--"

"Because it's ok if you are! I like Star Trek too. I got Vulcan ears for Christmas last year and I have the new Klingon dictionary on hold at Waldenbooks. Pretty sure I'm already better at it than Latin."

"Do you not understand the meaning of drop it?" Eddie slammed his locker shut and stared at the younger boy. "I just don't like it. It's...it's--"

"It's a cultural phenomena!" Dustin cut him off. "It's only the most detailed and expansive fictional universes I've ever experienced. Even better than Tolkien."

"That's blasphemy," Eddie scoffed.

"Ok maybe not Tolkien," Dustin conceded, hands held out innocently. "But seriously, it's insane. I thought that you'd be all over it. I was gonna even talk to you about helping me plan a small one-shot for Lucas' birthday set in the Star Wars universe. I would DM!"

Eddie, though annoyed with the topic conversation, fondly pushed the bill of Dustin's hat over his eyes.

"Come on!"

"Listen I'll help you," Eddie promised. "Whatever you wanna cook up for Sinclair's birthday, I'm your guy. I'll even get the guys to come and play if you want a bigger group. Just anything but Star Wars ok?"

He started to walk away but Dustin was hot on his heels, dodging other students left and right to stay in-step with Eddie.

"Why not? Just give me one good reason why you don't like Star Wars, and I'll drop it. Is it because Obi-Wan wasn't secretly Luke's father? Or..." He fumbled over his words, struggling to find a reason that his friend didn't like one of his favorite series. "Or...because Wedge was a better pilot than Luke but somehow Luke was the star of the Rebel Alliance."

"Stop it now."

"Do you not like C-3P0? No one likes C-3P0! Wait...is that your favorite character and you don't like the movie because everyone else hates him?"

Dustin was sure he'd hit the nail on the head and offered explanations and tried to convince Eddie that he was all wrong. And all of it fell on annoyed ears until Eddie, at his wits end, turned and grabbed Dustin by the shoulders. He stopped them dead in their tracks in the middle of the hallway, uncaring of the other students groans and insults as they pushed past.

"I don't like Star Wars," Eddie said through gritted teeth, a sense of finality in his words so the subject could be dropped once and for all. "Because I've never seen the movies. And I don't want to. They're overhyped, and dumb, and just a way to get little idiots like you to spend their money on posters and action figures and life savers."

"Lightsabers," Dustin corrected him, but then backtracked. "Wh--Eddie? What do you mean? You have to have seen them! Ed...Eddie wait!"

The metalhead let him go and the quickly retreated into the crowd leaving Dustin to call after him, confused.

---

Of course, news spread to the other freshman quickly. Dustin was devastated, Lucas was lost, and Mike felt betrayed that his role model--loose definition--hadn't seen the movies that shaped him as a person to this day. Shaped all of them.

Into nerds.

Even Max was surprised to hear that her neighbor hadn't seen it, as she was dragged to the depths of the Wheeler's basement along with the boys to discuss how this all could have happened.

They thought of everything. Body swaps and mind control. A curse! Mike was dead set on Eddie being a die-hard trekkie and, as someone who disliked the Trek himself, got irrationally angry about it.

"I swear he didn't even bat an eye when I told him about the Klingon!" Dustin exclaimed. "I just...I don't know."

"Well have you asked the rest of the geek patrol?" Max questioned, and all the boys turned to stare at her. "If Eddie hates it so much that he doesn't want to talk about it, the others have known him for a lot longer than any of us have. They're bound to know something right?"

"See this?" Dustin snapped his fingers and pointed at her. "This is why we need you in Hellfire. Eddie wouldn't be able to trick us anymore, you'd see right through it."

"Not gonna happen," she deadpanned.

The boys protested her refusal to play DnD with them, but took her advice and ran with it.

For a solid week, they pestered Jeff, Gareth, and Dave. And for a solid week, the older boys refused to budge. They tried everything. Bribes, blackmail, threats.

"You think," Gareth laughed when the boys cornered him outside the locker room before PE. "That I'm gonna tell you anything after you threaten to have Steve Harrington beat me up? That guy might've been a big douchebag few years ago, but I know he's a loser working at Family Video now."

All hope was lost as he was about to head to class. Until Mike spotted someone out of the corner of his eye, leaving the athletics hall for their next class, and he was struck with inspiration. He called out to Gareth.

"What if I can get you one of my sister's bras?"

Gareth skidded to a halt and looked over his shoulder with shock and, surprisingly, intrigue.

"...go on," he nodded.

Thus, a negotiation was made before the coach blew his whistle. And a few days later after school, at the picnic table out in the woods behind the football field, the exchange took place.

"Gimme the goods," Gareth held his hand out for his bounty.

"Story first, bra later," Lucas scoffed at him. "Otherwise what's to stop you from taking it and leaving."

Gareth clenched his hands and then let out a long-suffering sigh.

"At least lemme see what color it is."

The three freshman ducked their heads together to discuss the risks, and then Mike unzipped his backpack and flashed the tiniest peak of pastel purple lace at him.

"Nice," Gareth nodded. "Alright! You better not have anywhere else to go, we're gonna be here for a little while."

"My mom's not coming to get us until 6," Dustin agreed.

Gareth then took the time to weave the tale. One he heard from Jeff, who heard it from some guy named Dougie, who heard it from a girl named Ronnie, who only knew about it because she was there.

"It's his closely kept secret," Gareth explained. "Ronnie was still here when I was a freshman, and she wouldn't say shit about it. Which is why this can never make it back to me."

"We swear," the boys said simultaneously, and all crossed their hearts.

Apparently, Eddie had been all excited for the very first Star Wars movie when it first premiered. He saw the posters for it at the Hawk and babbled on and on about what it might be about. He'd always been a little interested in space, thanks to Star Trek--

"I knew it!" Dustin exclaimed.

"God damn it!" Mike cursed. "He's a Trekkie!"

"Are you gonna let me tell this story?" Gareth hissed.

"Sorry," Lucas apologized and slugged both of his friends in the arm.

--and he thought Star Wars was gonna be the next big thing. He was sure of it. Not only that, it was gonna be his new favorite thing. He was hesitant to ask his dad to buy tickets for the two of them to go and see the movie together. What with money being tight and his dad's unreliable presence. Still, he heard that the local radio station was giving two tickets away and he called and called and called until he won them.

"Wow," Mike was awestruck. "Two tickets for the opening day of Star Wars. Can you imagine? What a lucky son of a bitch."

"Uh," Dustin watched Gareths shifting eyes and pursed lips. "Mike I think you're forgetting something."

"What?"

"He didn't see it, dipshit," Gareth sneered. "Duh. Isn't that the whole point of you guys bothering me with this? Did you forget?"

Eddie, excited for the day, told his dad, Al, two weeks in advance. He and Ronnie had picked up the tickets for the show after school one afternoon, lying to Ronnie's grandma about having detention. And Al Munson, father of the year, promised that he would be around to take Eddie.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said and flashed his charming smile at his young and hopeful son. "We can make a day of it, how's that? You got the tickets, I've got dinner at Benny's afterwards. And you can get a sundae for dessert."

Eddie was over the moon, happy that his dad was finally excited for something that he enjoyed. He couldn't be bothered with Lord of the Rings or Narnia or any of the other stories that Eddie enjoyed, but he was excited for this. Probably because it had Wars in it. But that was ok. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

And then the morning finally came. A Wednesday in May, almost time for summer break. Al was sitting on the couch looking at something in the newspaper and Eddie reminded him about the movie before he left to catch the school bus. Al simply patted him on the head and promised to pick him up at 3 so they'd have plenty of time to get a good seat and watch the previews.

"And then the asshole never showed up," Gareth scoffed and broke all the kids hearts.

They didn't know a whole lot about Eddie's dad; he purposefully said precious little except that he was in jail and "belonged there, good riddance." If a good word was said about anyone in Eddie's family, it was said about his uncle Wayne. And even then it was scarce. Hearing this whole story though instantly put a bad taste in their mouths about the elder Munson.

Gareth continued the story, telling them how Eddie sat at one of the picnic tables for his dad until Ronnie and her grandma offered to drive him to the theater so at least he could see the movie. Ronnie even offered to see it with him. But Eddie refused.

"He was sure that his dad was coming. Waited there for hours. Until the movie had started, and then was over. And then he walked home alone."

"But..." Mike frowned. "But then why didn't he try again? Why didn't he go to see it when Empire came out...or...or Lucas...remember when your dad took us to see Return of the Jedi a couple years ago? And we tried to get him to take us all to the midnight showing of the whole trilogy?"

"Yeah! He told us we were crazy for wanting to sit there for 8 whole hours."

"But he didn't wanna see it," Gareth shook his head. "That's the whole point. His dad pissed him off, and now...he's written it all off. He refuses, because...I guess he doesn't wanna admit how upset he was. I don't even know if he cried! Ronnie never told anyone what happened afterwards. We all just know not to say anything about Star Wars around him."

Gareth got his bounty in the end and left, and the three freshman all sat there, defeated.

"I almost wish he was a trekkie," Mike said sadly.

"My dad's left us and it's still somehow not that bad," Dustin whispered.

"Listen," Lucas straightened his shoulders and looked at his friends. "This...man it really sucks, but we can't just give up. Eddie deserves to know all the ups and downs of Star Wars. He would love it. Probably more than the three of us combined. Hell, even Max thought so!"

The other boys nodded in agreement and sat upright as Lucas got to his feet.

"Are we just gonna sit here and let our friend who always looks out for us miss out on the best thing that he's ever seen just cuz his dad's a big asshole? Or are we gonna look out for him too?"

Mike and Dustin clapped and cheered and whooped.

And then the three of them got out their notebooks and began to scheme.

---

Eddie rang the doorbell of the Wheeler's house and waited silently on the porch, hands fiddling with the small gift and binder in his hands.

9am was too fucking early for a birthday party, in his opinion, but for the kids--for Lucas--and for Dungeons and Dragons...eh...he could stand to lose some sleep on a Saturday.

As long as they were done by 7 so he could go make a few bucks at Matt Donovan's party over on Elm. He'd lose out on sleep, but not cash.

The door opened and a tired-looking Ted Wheeler looked Eddie up and down with a sigh, then waved him in.

"They're all downstairs," he droned. "Snacks and sodas in the kitchen. Karen's gone to the store to get more. We're ordering pizza for lunch and there'll be cake a little later."

"Great," Eddie gave him a stiff nod. "Thanks."

Ted grumbled something about "having enough birthday parties for his own three kids let alone their friends too" and Eddie rolled his eyes.

Asshole.

He kicked off his sneakers in the pile by the stairs to the basement and then shuffled down the steps, eager to join his favorite group of idiots for a day of fantasy escapism.

And he was excited; it had been a while since he'd gotten to play one of his characters and Dustin had put together a fantastic campaign for Lucas.

Only...when Eddie got to the basement, he was in for a shock.

No tables and chairs, no dice, no maps or figures. No binders or books or character sheets. Nothing.

Just his friends all sitting together on and around the couch facing the tv set that had been set up in front of it.

With lightsabers in their hands.

They all cheered when they saw Eddie, Lucas the loudest of all.

Well, not all of them. Jeff, Gareth, and Dave all looked about ready to run. Especially when they saw the scathing look on Eddie's face.

"You're finally here!" Lucas laughed. "You're late.

"Happy Birthday," Eddie deadpanned and threw the gift to him. "What the hell is going on here?"

"What does it look like?" Dustin snarked. "It's Lucas' birthday."

"It was supposed to be Dungeons and Dra--"

"Well, I changed my mind," Lucas said smugly. "I thought...you know what, save it for the summer so we can make it longer than just a one-off campaign. Dustin worked really hard on it after all."

Eddie couldn't deny that. Still he glared at the plastic...toys that the boys all held.

"And you just happened to pick Star Wars?" he asked, arms crossed over his chest as he eyed them all skeptically.

"It's my favorite," Lucas insisted. "Not the first time I've had a Star Wars themed party. First time we're watching the trilogy all the way through though."

"Yeah cuz someone fell asleep last time we tried," Dustin jabbed Mike in the shoulder with his lightsaber pointedly.

"That's why we're starting so early this time," Mike parried with a jab to Dustin's stomach.

"So," Lucas stared Eddie down with challenge in his eyes. "Are you just gonna stand there and ruin my party? Or are you gonna sit down? Because we're never gonna get to Empire by the time the pizza gets here if we don't start soon."

Eddie stared at the hopeful expressions in all of his friends--his little sheeps--faces. Even the ones who were familiar with his feelings about the franchise.

And he weighted his options.

Eddie was a man who abided by the code. He'd gotten burned to many times in life not to. And that code included things like never trust your dad, rich people are assholes, popular girls are bad news. Somewhere in that list though, between always change your underwear when you think they're still clean and shake the can of soda before you hand it to your friends was never watch Star Wars.

It'd been that way for years.

But since the start of the school year, since Eddie had met these three kids...he'd started changing his code.

Steve Harrington wasn't an asshole. Well he used to be, but he proved that he could change.

Not all popular girls were bad news. Nancy was helping him work towards a better grade in biology and the student council president had slipped her number into Eddie's locker the other day.

And while there might be things that would never change--his father wasn't trustworthy, end of story--he figured...for his friends he might be able to bend some of his self-imposed rules.

Eddie sighed and looked at television screen with the words A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away... frozen, and he felt a little pang in his heart.

And if he could do things like that for his friends...

His inner 10-year old self was sitting at that picnic table still, waiting for the van to pull into the parking lot. Only this time, he wasn't left high and dry. This time a much older Eddie drove up and popped open the van doors for little Eddie to hop in. They could finally fulfill this dream together.

...he certainly could do things like that for himself.

"Alright," he closed the distance and pushed his way through his friends so he could plop front and center on the floor in front of the television. He tried to keep the sour attitude, but as a blue plastic lightsaber was pressed into his hands, he couldn't help but crack a smile. "Let's see what all the hype is about."

The group cheered and Gareth pressed play on the remote.

And as the swell of music began and STAR WARS flashed on the screen, Eddie said aloud...

"Hey guys, what if it sucks?"

[skywlker-sluvtt]

I saw a tiktok about anakin and padme makong luke and leia in the back of a speeder so I’m begging you kindly to do 🚗 with anakin

I love youre blog sm <33

OMGGG!!!! i think i also saw that and i gasped because they're actual freaks and its canon. and also thank u 🤍 anakin x senator!reader 18+ below the cut nsfw emoji ask game

🚗 car sex headcanon

✧ speeder sex usually occurs when anakin convinces you to sneak away from a relivable important event and rents a fancy speeder for you both to fuck in.

✧ you excuse yourself to the bathroom desperate to get away from all the formalities for a while. as you leave the room someone reaches out and pulls you into a nearby hallway.

✧ flush against his chest you yelp looking up at anakin and his shit-eating smirk. "M'lady" He teases devouring your body with his eyes pressing a light kiss to your knuckles.

✧ he convinces you to sneak away and promises you a good time in the back of a speeder to let out all that pent-up stress. speeder sex might not be the best but it's certainly hot as hell. the both of you adore it.

✧ during the ride over there anakin reaches over and teases you with gentle touches to your thigh. he pulls your dress up enough to stoke the soft skin just before your aching core whilst he drives like nothing's happening.

✧ when he finally finds a safe spot in the lower levels of coruscant his lips are immediately on yours. he pulls you over the console to sit on his lap. he's quick to pull the top of your dress down to expose your pretty tits so he has more groping access.

✧ it's a tight squeeze with the both of you but ultimately you're able to make it work. you start off riding him in the front while he sloppily plays with your clit.

✧ many wet kisses are placed all over his cheeks and neck as you try and concentrate. not seeing him in so long always gets you needy and he loves it. he whispers dirty nothings in your ear.

✧ "such a slutty little senator, imagine if y-your colleagues knew what ran away to do" "you like this don't you? getting fucked in a speeder like the 4 credit slut you are"

✧ when it gets too hot anakin gets you to bend over the back seat and relentlessly pounds into you from the back, using the door for slight coverage. he likes calling you "a cheap whore" while he's got your dress scrunched around your waist exposing your tits and ass for a passerby to see.

✧ what can he say he doesn't mind giving someone a show as they walk by 🤭

[maryellencarter]

so i'm in a really weird position here. i'm not sure i'm capable of participating in transformative fandom anymore. i'm that burned out on ahipping.

i've been in the lupin iii fandom for the past couple years, as y'all know. at first it was a lot of fun. but there was a ton of really aggressive biphobia, a ton of the "anybody who writes or draws Icky Stuff is a sex criminal irl and must be loudly shunned by all right-thinking people", it got into "if you point out that no one on this show is canonically queer you are a pedophile and must be dogpiled on every social media platform we can find you on"... it's a really, really toxic place.

about a year ago, a streaming miniseries called "lupin zero" aired. it's very well done, very nuanced and subtle. this fandom couldn't find nuance or subtlety if it tried with both hands. lupin zero tells the story of lupin and jigen's friendship, if they met in school as teenagers. it's the only story i've ever seen that manages to show a primary friendship, a friendship with the narrative importance and the story beats you only ever see given to romance. it was -- it *would* have been, could have, should have been, incredibly important to me. i thought i had some representation.

instead, the entire fandom went nuts. they announced that lupin/jigen was canonically romantic (which is a complete misunderstanding of the show and the themes: it's cram-packed with cagliostro references, and jigen is set up as a clarisse figure at every turn, including the direct reference to lupin stealing their hearts). they congratulated everyone within earshot on "not being lied to anymore". they announced that "every queer" was happy to have the relationship "confirmed romantic". they announced that anyone who wasn't overjoyed was a homophobe. and on and on.

i've had to block the lupin zero tag entirely, because every piece of art or screenshot includes a caption like "that moment when you realize you're in love", "this means family as in married NOT as in brothers!", nobody can so much as mention it without aggressively pushing the "it's canon romantic" down everybody's throats. the arophobia is incredibly vocal and continuous.

Only two other people who were watching the show said so much as "it can be read either way", when I was crying out against the fandom-wide celebration that there's no place for me here. One of them is dead. I haven't been able to start writing on a new idea in the Lupin fandom since we lost her.

All I wanted was a little corner. A space where I could fiddle around with my own interpretations, maybe bounce some ideas off people. Be allowed to exist in peace. I wanted to celebrate a friendship that wasn't second best -- that mattered, in the way only romance is normally allowed to matter in this world.

I've spent the last year trying to find that space. It doesn't exist, *can't* exist. Romance is like kudzu here. You always have to be actively fighting it, and you'll never win.

I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. There's no joy left in this fandom for me. And I don't know -- I think about trying to pick up another fandom, about characters I like or stories I might tell, and I just can't. I can't bring myself to write a shippy story, not when it means aligning myself with more people who will probably also call me homophobic and anti-queer for not loving the exact same way they do. But that's what Leia and I write best, it's what we enjoy writing. And I don't want to take up the same exact fight for a tiny isolated box where it's safe to whisper that nonromantic, nonfamilial love might exist or even (shock horror) be love.

[kalinara]

I'm so baffled by the way this whole thing has blown way out of proportion. People sending hateful messages to each other AND to the actors?? Totally unnecessary! It makes no damn sense.

Not to be an anti on main, but I genuinely believe that shipping changed somewhere along the way, into something that's a little disturbing.

I'm of course not going to say the old days were perfect. Racism, sexism and homophobia have always been issues and fandom has always been notoriously resistant to dealing with such things. And it's not like Shipwars are new. I remember the Ray Wars in Due South and fans older than me can tell fascinating stories of fanzine wars between Han/Leia and Luke/Leia fans before the Internet was even a thing for most of us.

But I still feel like a change happened somewhere along the way. There's this bizarre sense of entitlement now. There's this idea that a ship HAS to happen or it doesn't count somehow, and that we as fans can harangue the creators and MAKE it happen. (Voltron being the most extreme reaction I can think of).

And I mean, I get wanting representation, but it seems to go beyond that. Look at any 911 discussion thread about Buddie. Despite the fact that the show has multiple important queer pairings, they don't count because it's not the pairing the fans want.

I think this also plays into why we have so many puritan shippers. I don't agree that someone's ships reflect their real world morality. But I do get where a lot of younger fans are coming from, when so much of fandom seems to involve going "no, see, it will happen on screen and it will be AWESOME!". Not every show is Game of Thrones, after all. And nowadays, I do think a shipper probably does need to specify "no, I don't really want Thor and Loki to fuck in the movies directly aimed for kids", because of the rabid behavior of OTHER shippers. It's not fair, but we seem to have created this mess.

We used to joke about a "fannish hivemind" but nowadays, that seems less and less funny. I love shippy meta as much as the next person, but there's a difference between making an essay detailing all the moments that could be used to support a ship and making an essay detailing all the reasons why these moments ABSOLUTELY MUST MEAN MY SHIP WILL HAPPEN AND HOW COULD ANYONE POSSIBLY THINK OTHERWISE. And that attitude seems more and more prevalent nowadays.

We need to get a grip. We need to keep in mind that the creators of the show may not see it the way we do. We need to keep in mind that someone else makes the decisions about the story, and we might like or dislike it. We might want to consider, for example, that an actor who was once on Saturday Night Live, who repeatedly referred to a female co-star at that time as a "platonic soulmate" might actually not be setting up a romance between these two very tightly paralleled characters. That doesn't mean the characters WON'T get together, of course. I'm no mind-reader or oracle. But I point that out because nothing is a guarantee.

But seriously, there's nothing funnier than someone going on and on about their literary credentials when they write their long passionate analysis, because no one stops to wonder, do the creators share those literary credentials? What if all of these patterns really are accidents? Or they mean something else entirely?

And leave the actors alone, for heavens sake. They're just the face of the character. They've got nothing to do with any of this! If THEY want to engage, they're more than able to do that. Hell, the internet is anonymous, maybe they're here right now. But let that be their call. You wouldn't want someone coming up to you saying "I love imagining you and your co-worker having sex!" would you?

[galaxicide]

👫 + lil brother mattie

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship / accepting / @techniiciian

Ben used to have sleepovers when he was a kid with his little nerd friends. Matt wasn't allowed to attend because the older boys would tell spooky stories that Leia thought might frighten her younger son. But that didn't stop Matt, who would sneak into Ben's room in the middle of the night and demand to be told one of Ben's stories cus if Ben was doing it, Matt wanted to be included. Ben managed to shake his brother a few times, but eventually relented if only to get to sleep normally again lmao. Matt promised not to get scared. So, of course, he was terrified after hearing one of Ben's stories, and it was Ben that got into trouble for it hehehe.

Once Ben left home for college/university, communication between Matt and Ben became less frequent. Matt was very displeased about this and one day took it upon himself to go and visit Ben at MIT. Unfortunately , Matt didn't arrive until late and Ben happened to be at a party. So he didn't discover his younger brother until finding him asleep outside his dorm room in the morning. Ben let him stay the weekend after they called mum and dad.

They will fight for control over the remote even if it's not their own TV. There is often biting involved much to their parents embarrassment at having these two for grown ass men children. Han usually comes at them with a rolled up newspaper.

Ben was suspended from school twice for defending Matt from bullies. He wasn't particularly bothered about it. Honestly, Matt seemed more bothered than him. When questioned about the first incident he simply said he'd do it again if he had to since the school can't be fucked to do anything about it...and he did do it again. Needless to say that Han and Leia weren't unimpressed that Ben basically stuck it to the man at like 12.

In addition because this is important. At Ben's 8th birthday party, Leia made him a funfetti cake aka his favourite. But Matt accidentally knocked the cake out a window while it was cooling. Both siblings cried for a long time after having an argument. Ben holds a grudge about this way into adulthood.

In addition addition...once upon a time, two boys running around the house broke an antique vase. They hid upstairs where Ben decided they had to move to Mexico to escape their parents wrath. So a 6 year old and a 3 year old packed up their supplies, which wasn't much other than snacks and toys. They got a few houses down the street before stopping to bicker over which way it was to Mexico via one of their dads maps. Leia caught up to them and has never let them live down their great escape attempt.

[juniperhillpatient]

Alright, so I'm done with 'That 90's Show' season 1. Here are a few takeaways from someone who LOVED the original show:

Bad parts:

The theme song is really annoying & it just bugs me as someone who has spent a somewhat insane amount of time watching & re-watching the original & singing along. This probably won't bother most people but it's irritating to me

Ozzie as a character is borderline offensive to me. I'm not sure that I'd go so far as to say his characterization is racist or homophobic EXACTLY but...there's something uncomfortable about it. He's literally just a sassy quip machine awkward ham-fisted joke deliverer & he makes me cringe. If there's a second season I really hope they delve into him just a little more since he is part of the main group.

It's annoying & weird that Laurie & Hyde are both absent without reference. I can understand not wanting to replace actors who can't be there, but these were 2 important characters to the group & they could've very easily given us a throwaway comment about where they were. It's just....bad writing, & incredibly noticeable & uncomfortable.

Good parts:

Let's just get this one out there first - every single OG cameo had me cheering. Yes, I claim to hate reboots & remakes & I scream about letting things end & I stand by that but if they're going to do it, I want it done well damn it & this show did in my opinion. I just absolutely loved every single appearance from the original cast members.

I love Jackie & Michale as the couple in a perpetual cycle of getting divorced & back together. I loved Fez as a hair salon owner living his best life. Donn & Eric were iconic. I cheered for Leo's hilarious & fun cameos & same with Fenton's. They did justice to my faves who appeared.

The new characters are interesting & fun for the most part. I like that they reference the original characters without being stand-ins. These characters have their own stuff going on & their conflicts are funny & entertaining. It took a while to get me truly invested but I was always entertained. This show has the same funny charm & humor as the original. The chemistry between the main cast & the humor works really well.

KITTY & RED!!!!!!!! This one I'm not even sure if it needs to be explained but god...I just fucking love Kitty & Red Forman so much & seeing them with a house full of teens being their awesome selves filled me with joy. I just fucking love them.

Not a good part or a bad part but something I'm speculating about:

I'm fine with the little last minute Jay Nate Leia Nicky triangle / square whatever & the canon romance drama. It feels similar to early seasons 'That 70's Show' conflicts & I'm certainly entertained. And I like Jay. He's fun & cute & he's totally SUCH a Kelso. But.....

I SWEAR I almost thought there was going to be something canon between Leia & Gwen SEVERAL times. I mean, sure, me shipping the two girls? Yeah, that's typical but it almost felt like there might be something canon there. Their entire dynamic is SO reminiscent of Eric & Donna. The dork who lives next door to the cool girl? The moments on the hood of the Vista Cruiser? Sneaking through windows? I'm not delusional am I like PLEASE tell me y'all saw it too? Also, there's a textual (not even subtextual!) love triangle between Gwen, Jay, & Leia! Leia literally promises them both her time & does the whole sitcom double-booking her afternoon thing. She talks about loving them both! What??? Like....I don't know if I'm crazy but it REALLY feels like the show might just be going somewhere with this if it gets renewed.

Alright, that's all I have for this post! Those are my main reactions to this show.

[lajulie24]

D and F for "One half won't do"?

D. What’s the most personal fanfic you’ve written?

Wow, that’s a tough question. In some ways most of my fics feel pretty personal, but in other ways there’s often a bit of remove involved in all of them. That said, there are definitely some personal elements that come into several of my fics. I can sort of identify with the jealousy Han experiences in First Place (and not wanting to fuck up important friendships or relationships because of it). The birth scene in A Girl In Trouble (Is a Temporary Thing) has elements that I took from what I recall from my own experience with childbirth (there’s built-in amnesia to ensure that people will be willing to do that more than once, and also I’m not a Jedi, so it’s not an exact replica, ha). I’d be lying if I said I never had a little fantasy like the one Leia has in Cover Me (although unlike her I didn’t get to make mine come true). Rage lets me get out the fury I often have trouble expressing.

I’ve mentioned The Book of the Lovers as one of my favorite fics I’ve written, and I think that might be the most personal, because it takes so many inspirations from art I love (the Alderaanian poet, certain elements of the holofilm, as well as Star Wars itself) and because it has the stream-of-consciousness structure that is probably closest to the way my thoughts wander.

F. Is there a song or a playlist to associate with One Half Won’t Do?

Yes, there is! The main one is “It’s My Life,” which is the song from which the title and the chapter titles come from. There are two versions I like, the Talk Talk one from the ‘80s and the cover version by No Doubt from the early 2000s. But they both get at the theme of the fic in their lyrics:

Funny how I find myself in love with you

If I could buy my reasoning, I’d pay to lose

One half won’t do

And I’ve asked myself, how much do you

Commit yourself?

It’s my life, don’t you forget

It’s my life, it never ends

Funny how I blind myself, I never know

If I was sometimes played upon, afraid to lose….

Thank you very much for the ask!

Fanfic Writer Ask Meme

[dorksideoftheforce]

I realize how overwhelming that must have been and so I unsaved, not deleted, it but not because I took it back but because I didn’t want to overwhelm you and it just so happened that the leaf broach got there the next day after I messaged you, it wasn’t suppose to come until the 7th but it came early and I had to tell you about it because you are always gonna be with me. I remember for Valentine’s Day, the only Valentine’s Day I’ve ever spent with anybody and the only valentine I have ever had besides my dog, because I got to keep Leia and found out on Valentine’s Day…I remember you held my hands when the waitress called me ma’am and that shit gutted me and you saw my face and held my hands and squeezed them and I’ve never lost that feeling when something has come up that really made me want to leave my body…I hold my own hand now but I remember you and if grieving you is all I’ll ever be able to do now that you are gone then I’m happy to be able to carry you and those memories that helped me make it through. I’d still show up for you because in my heart, you will always have a friend in me. You really are gone and like you said, there’s a new world now and it sucks without you being here because I so, so love you and I care about you and I feel alone in this world…like I got dropped in the middle of the ocean and I am just floating out in the middle of nowhere. But you wanna know something that I can’t shake…something that makes all of this bearable in a way where I just start to cry? I feel like this is happening so you keep me safe, in a way. Like you don’t want me to be hurt too so it’s like it’s better that things happen this way and you go off to heal in the best way you can and let me go so I can figure my shit out too because it’s truly so painful how healing can hurt people we love but it’s important that we heal away from each other because the last thing either of us wants to do is hurt each other. That’s what I feel in my heart and I can’t help but to cry. I might be hurt but I’m not mad or angry at you. I feel like I understand and I want to, you know. I want to and be here for you and love you up close and support you and everything and if all I’ll ever be able to do is do that from a distance then you got it. I hope you know this. I would be honored to be your friend and you are a hero to me and I’m also grateful and like okay…All these things are happening and I’m here for it but I miss you and being able to talk to you. Knowing that you were somewhere out there in the world gave me this level of peace that I can’t help now but to bawl my eyes out as I even type this out and think about it. Knowing you were out there gave me peace. Like it didn’t matter how fucking awful things were, I would see you and just thank God so much. I always hope you are out there and you just keep taking good care of yourself out there too. That the people you love are loving you and taking care of you too. Valuing you. Respecting you. Holding you close without any other intentions for as long as you need. I know I won’t feel this bad forever… I know that with time, the grief I feel will be more like a friend that wraps its arms around me like a hug instead of a ghost that goes in through my mouth, consumes every fiber of my being and explodes into little pieces. I really did need God after everything that happened. I couldn’t do it on my own and now that you are gone too, I need God more than I honestly needed him then because I am not okay. I am holding on and pushing through, every single day. I am not okay and I’m just gonna have to live with feeling that way for now until I’m okay again. I guess that’s how it all works, huh? I’m okay with that. Thank you for all the love and care that you ever gave me.

[mermaidxatxheart]

Better Together Chapter Twelve

It's been a minute since I've posted a new chapter. I was beginning to think that no one really wanted to read this anymore. If you like it and you want to keep reading it, please please please reblog. I can't stress enough how important it is to reblog creative pieces, writing, art, gifsets, and the things people make here. It spreads awareness to your favorite creators and lets everyone see the talent that people have. It also helps motivate your favorite creators to keep creating. Thanks for coming to my very important Ted Talk.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Word Count: 2858

Warnings: Bryce being an asshole, which I think is a given at this point. Snap being a treasure. Violence as usual. Swearing as usual.

Series Master List

Previous Chapter

Chapter Twelve

Poe

He shifts against his pillow, restless. He wants to be up. He feels fine, flu-speaking. He hasn’t slept properly since being in here. He wants to see you. He needs to hold you. 

“Hey, buddy.” Snap says, taking his usual seat outside the glass. 

“Did you see her?” Poe asks. He hates being stuck here. 

“Yeah, we had breakfast together. She seemed distracted, didn’t eat a ton. She said she was going back to her room to sleep.” He sighs, and Poe turns to look at him. Behind him is Beaumont. 

“Why is that a bad thing?” He asks. 

“Well, a couple hours ago, several people saw Bryce run into the hangar and take Y/N’s ship. No one knows where he went. So when we heard that, Mak and I went to check on her. She was passed out on the floor of her room, shaking.” Beau says carefully. 

Poe’s hands fist in the sheets. He’s going to murder Bryce. Straight kill him. The Resistance won’t miss much. He doesn’t actually do anything. “And then?” He asks through clenched teeth. 

“We woke her up and she flipped shit. Kicked us out, told us to leave her alone, that she doesn’t need anyone checking on her. She bolted from the room a few seconds after we left.”

“Okay. Fuck this. I’m leaving. I’m out of here.” Poe grunts, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. 

“Buddy, are you sure?” Snap asks. 

“Yeah. I gotta find her.” He looks at Beau. “You know she didn’t mean it.” He says and Beaumont nods. 

“I know.”

A medical droid rolls over and beeps at him angrily. “Can it.” He snaps, grabbing his coat. 

“Want help looking for her?” Snap asks. 

“Not currently. You guys better get back to work before Leia has my head. I have a few ideas of where she might be.” Poe says, exiting the quarantine. 

“Alright. We’re here to help if you need us.” Beau says and Poe is so grateful that he’s not mad at you. 

He claps him on the shoulder, taking off down the hallway. He looks in your room, first. Just to be sure. He doesn’t really think he’ll find you there, but better to be safe than sorry. 

Just as he suspects, it’s empty. Okay, maybe you went to your lab to get lost in some work. He heads that way, unable to stop his eyes from darting down every hallway and into every darkened room. 

Your lab, however, is empty. Your work is put away. It doesn’t even smell like you. With a sigh he backs out, turning to face back down the hallway. 

Someone is turning quickly down a hallway about fifteen feet from him. He’d recognize that hair anywhere. He jogs down to the junctions of the hallways, turning to follow you. But he can’t see you anymore. 

There’s nothing down here but cleaning supplies anyway, nothing you would need to be down here for. He frowns to himself. Maybe he imagined it? Maybe it wasn’t you?

He closes his eyes to think for a minute. When you want to avoid people, when you want to get some peace and quiet, you go to the tower. 

He heads that way, his hands itching to hold you. It’s been longer than he can stand and he’s a little worried that if it doesn’t happen soon, he might explode. 

Five hours later

Poe leans against the wall, hands over his face. Snap is across from him, trying, and failing, not to look amused. 

“She’s hiding from me.” He says finally, lowering his hands. 

“You don’t know that.” Snap yawns. It’s late, almost middle of the night. 

“Snap, I literally saw her running away in the mess hall. Someone called my name and she fled.” He sighs. 

“Okay. So, she needs some space. Let her have it for a little bit. If she doesn’t come around tomorrow, have Leia call her into a meeting or something and talk to her there.” He shrugs. 

Except he needs you. He can’t sleep. And he knows you have to be suffering, too. 

“Alright. Thanks for sticking with me this long, buddy.” 

“Hey. I knew what I was getting into.” Snap grins. 

“Go get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” Poe says, pushing away from the wall. Instead of heading for his room, he heads for the garage. Bryce isn’t that good of a pilot. He would have to log his coordinates at some point. 

He scans through the logs, looking for your signature. It pisses him off to no end that Bryce took your ship. That’s personal. You don’t just fly another person’s ship. It’s like using their toothbrush. 

Unfortunately, the idiot hasn’t registered yet, so Poe can’t fly out and kill him. He swings by the tower one more time to find it empty. He sighs and heads back towards your room. If you’re not there, he’s sleeping on your bed. He doesn’t give a fuck anymore about Bryce. That coward isn’t worth his weight in bantha shit.

Your door opens and the room is empty, but it smells like you. He steps inside and kicks off his shoes, laying out on your bed. He pulls your pillow towards his face, breathing in deep. 

***

If droids could look sour, this one does. Probably because it’s sick of having to stitch you back up. It beeps quietly, angrily. The last one is replaced and you pull your shirt back down. 

It was stupid to run from Poe, but you can easily admit what a coward you are. When you found him sleeping in your bed last night, pillow tucked against his chest, you watched for a few minutes. His breathing was even, his sleep deep and easy. 

Good. At least someone got some rest. You slept in the tower, cold and uncomfortable, but no less than what you deserve. 

Bryce, as far as you know, is still gone. Probably getting as far from you as he can. 

The droid beeps again and you get the message. The next time it has to stitch you up, you’re staying in that bed. 

You get up, walking towards the exit when you see Bryce heading right for you. Panic grips you and you dart left into the ladies fresher. He’s more determined than you give him credit for, because he follows you right in, cornering you against the sink. 

“You can’t be in here.” You tell him, face flushing furiously. 

“Well, I need to talk to you.” He hisses. 

The door behind him opens and a woman you only know by sight walks in. “This is for females.” She says bluntly. 

Bryce grabs your arm and drags you out, pulls you down the hall and pushes you into a dark room. The emergency lights click on at the motion and your stomach plummets. 

In the middle of the room is a table with restraints at the ends. An operating table. A cold sweat breaks out on your skin as you look around nervously. 

“Y/N, I need you to come with me.” He starts. “I found a doctor, a cosmetic surgeon. He can fix you. He can get rid of the scars.” He says, smiling softly at you. “I made you an appointment, but we have to go.” 

Your eyes finally land on him as you comprehend what he says. “Fix me? Fix me?” You demand, your voice turning shrill. “How can you even suggest that to me right now? Do you even know? Do you understand what I went through?” You snap. He takes a step forward and you match it backward. 

How can he even suggest letting someone poke and prod at you and cut you open? 

“Fuck off.” You say coldly, shoving past him and out into the hallway. You walk and walk until you find yourself outside the records room, crying. 

No one will ever suspect you’re in here. 

***

“Hey! Y/N! The General wants to see you.” Setti calls to your hiding spot.

You sigh softly, shutting down your holopad. “Where?” You reply. 

“Uh,” you can hear paper crinkle as she checks her note. “Poe’s ship? She wants to ask you about some things.” She says, and you hear her walk away. 

Poe’s ship? Did you miss something when you came back? You checked every inch of that ship for a tracker. Did she find something you hadn’t? Did you put the whole base in trouble? Your heart hammers in your chest as you scramble down and run to the hangar. 

Poe’s ship has the ramp open and you make your way inside, looking for Leia. The ramp closes behind you and you spin around, startled. 

“Y/N,” Poe starts behind you and you clench your fists. “Sweetheart, what’s going on?” He asks softly. 

You turn to face him, working hard to make your expression cold. You don’t want to melt for him, can’t handle his look of disgust. 

“What are you doing?” You snap. 

“Y/N, please? Talk to me. I thought we agreed-“ he starts. 

“I’m fine. I don’t know why everyone keeps asking. I’m fine.” Your hands tremble at your sides and you can only hope he doesn’t notice. 

“Then why have you been avoiding me?” He asks. 

Your mouth opens as you fumble to think of a reason. “I can’t rely on you all the time! You aren’t always going to be here. I have to be able to survive on my own.” Your voice cracks and he steps forward, looking like you’ve just killed him. 

“I promised you I’m not going anywhere. And I mean that.” He takes your hands gently. “But I understand you wanting space. I’ll give you that until you want me again.” He says, your heart tightens painfully in your chest. Oh, how to tell him that it’s not that you don’t want him, it’s that he won’t want you. “You know where to find me. Just don’t push your friends away. We all need people.” He pulls you against him, hugging you tightly. He buries his face in your hair for a moment before he lets you go. He pushes the button for the ramp and you practically run down and out into the sunshine. You walk through the hangar, narrowly avoiding Bryce as he enters. 

Space. You need space to think. You head for the mess hall, planning on grabbing a caf and going somewhere to be alone. 

You round the corner into the hallway outside the hall and the sound of your name stops you dead. Nya is in the middle, with her best friend. 

“Ugh, Y/N. I wish she had stayed on her little vacation. It was so much easier to be with Bryce when he wasn’t all concerned that she would catch us. Don’t get me wrong, sneaking around can be fun. But it was much better when he could really let go. And Y/N is so fucking annoying. Always crying ever since she got back.”

“She was kidnapped and tortured.” Her friend says. 

Nya scoffs. “Whatever. She just needs to get over it. Bryce says he’s gonna break up with her soon since she’s not putting out for him anyway. He doesn’t even really care that she’s been with Dameron a ton since they got back. He just likes to give her grief about it. Wants her to feel guilty.” 

Red colors your vision. Your hands shake. Something fills you, numb and excited, heat and cold at the same time. You whirl around, heading back for the hangar where you last saw Bryce. 

Snap

Beau leans against the hull of his engine as Snap has his arm buried deep in its depths. Poe left as soon as Y/N ran off his ship. Poor guy is so in love with her and Snap isn’t sure she even knows. 

“All I’m saying is, someone should spill the beans.” He says, twirling a screwdriver between his fingers. 

“It’s not really our call. She looks like she needs something stable right now, and if we tell her how he feels, it might be yanking the rug out from under her. Plus, he might get pissed at us.” 

“Yeah, but, Snap, come on.” Beau jerks his head over to where Bryce is standing, flirting with a poor mech who doesn’t look interested at all. “She deserves so much better than that moof milker.” He rolls his eyes. 

“I know.” Snap stretches his fingers, reaching for the part he knows is right there. 

“I mean, look at him. He doesn’t care about her. He’s a sleaze.” 

“I’m aware. And trust me, there’s nothing I would love more than to just go over there and cold clock him into the next galaxy.” 

Beaumont groans, scratching the back of his neck with the screwdriver. “I hate him.”

“Join the club. We still don’t know where he took her ship yesterday.” 

The door that connects the hangar to the rest of the compound hisses open and Y/N marches in. Your face is twisted in rage and Snap pulls his arm free. Without seeming to even look around you, you grab a massive wrench laying on a workbench. You find Bryce in the crowd and aim right for him, never looking anywhere else. 

He doesn’t even see you until the mech scurries away and he turns around. “Hey, babe. Have you thought about what I said?” He asks. 

You heft the wrench and swing hard, the tool crunching across Bryce’s face. He spins away, falling to the ground and there’s a collective intake of air from the witnesses. Snap is pretty sure he sees a tooth go flying. 

“Wow. Good hit.” Beau mutters and Snap grins. 

You toss the wrench over your shoulder and it clatters away loudly. You still haven’t said a word and it’s slightly terrifying. 

“What the fuck?” Bryce groans, pushing himself back. You kick his hand out from under him and then sit on him, your hands balling into fists. You whisper something and his eyes get wide. Then you attack, punching him while keeping a death grip on his shirt. His hands are trapped under your legs and so he can’t fight back. 

Good.

Snap and Beau watch, along with the rest of the people in the hangar as you let out some aggression. Setti comes over next to them, wiping her hands. 

“Aren’t you gonna stop her?” She asks. 

Beau and Snap glance at each other, coming to a unanimous decision immediately. “No.” They both answer at once. 

“She could kill him.” Setti tries. 

“She won’t.” Beau shakes his head. “She’ll get tired first.” They watch for a few more minutes, seeing your swings slow. 

“The General is coming!!” Someone shouts, and that gets Snap and Beau moving. Snap approaches you from the side, catching your hand as it flies towards Bryce’s face. 

“Come on. Let’s get you out of here.” He says gently, picking you up and setting you on your feet. Bryce’s once perfect face is a bloody mess, he slumps backwards, barely conscious. 

Snap wraps his arm around your shoulders and leads you out the big hangar door. “How’s your hand?” He asks, taking your wrist gently. Your knuckles are bloody and bruising, and your hand is shaking. All of you is shaking. Snap leads you to his quarters with Beau following closely. 

“What did he do?” Beau asks gently. 

“What didn’t he do?” You mutter. 

“Want us to get Poe?” Snap asks, guiding you into the chair at his desk and grabbing his medkit. 

“No. He’ll just get in trouble, too. I’ve spent enough time getting him into trouble.” 

“You won’t get in trouble. No one in that hangar will talk.” Beau promises. 

Snap cleans your hand, wrapping it carefully. “Are you sure you don’t want Poe?” He asks. 

“I’m sure I don’t want him to know.” You say specifically and that’s a good sign. Not like he won’t find out, though. While no one will tell Leia, they’re bound to tell everyone else. He’s going to find out eventually. 

You lean back in the chair with your eyes closed and his eyes are drawn to a patch of red blossoming across your abdomen. 

“Did you get hurt?” He asks, panic rising in his chest. Poe’s going to kill him.

Your eyes fly open. “What?”

“You’re bleeding!” He reaches for your shirt, not rushed or angrily, but you still slap his hand away and flinch. “Shit, Y/N-“

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it.” You blurt out. 

“It’s not your fault. But we should get you checked out, let’s get to medical.” He says, holding out his hand for you to take. 

“I can go. I’ll take care of it.” You say, pushing yourself up with a wince, avoiding his hand. 

“You shouldn’t go alone.” Snap says, frowning. “If something happens,” 

“I’ll be fine, Snap. I’m sorry I got you dragged into this.” You shake your head. “Thanks for… everything.” You mutter, heading for the exit. 

Snap looks at Beaumont, standing behind him. “Do you think she’ll go?” He asks. 

“No. No, I do not.”

Chapter Thirteen

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[tennessoui]

I feel like this is a big ask, but 1. welcome back! 2. can you ever see KUWSK going angsty? Not permanently or anything, but what would a KUWSK obikin disagreement look like?

yes thank you for welcoming me back a month and a half ago i'm a bit trash to be so late on this but!! here is about 2k of a more serious fight between anakin and obi-wan.

(2k)

“You’re talking to your ex,” Anakin says. It’s the tone of voice he uses on work calls when he’s absolutely furious but trying to remain professional. Obi-Wan has never heard it directed at him before. He almost doesn’t recognize it. 

“Casually,” he stresses. “We’re…casually speaking.”

“Casually,” Anakin echoes in that same voice. Obi-Wan is starting to think he’s done something incredibly wrong. 

“She messaged me,” he stresses, feeling as if this is an important fact. “I didn’t reach out to her.”

“But you reached back!” Anakin says loudly, putting the spoon on its rest a touch too forcefully. “And then you didn’t even tell me!”

“I thought it was a non-issue!” Obi-Wan protests. “I don’t tell you when I talk to the woman at the supermarket checkout line!”

“Keep Francesca out of this,” Anakin cuts through the air with the side of his hand as he spins around to open their spice cabinet. “You know full well that’s different.”

“She flirts with me at the store, and you’re fine with it!” Obi-Wan quite completely feels like tearing out his hair. He can’t believe they’re having this conversation. He can’t believe his own fortune, that he’d pulled up a picture mid-playful argument with Anakin over what the twins had dressed as for Halloween when they were five, and he’d shown it to his partner at the exact moment that Satine ex-Kenobi had texted him, replying to something he'd sent a week ago.

That had pretty much ended the playful part of their argument.

“Yeah, and it’s not the fucking same, Obi-Wan,” Anakin responds, shaking a bit of salt aggressively into the stew. “You were never fucking married to fucking Francesca.”

“Anakin—”

“And by the way,” Anakin snaps, trading the salt for cayenne pepper and seasoning it liberally. “Implying that your ex-wife is also flirting with you over texts you did not tell me about is not the best strategy, Professor.”

The worst part is that he’s not even looking at him anymore, scowling instead into the contents of the heavy pot.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan tries, because he’s not listening, he’s just reacting. Of course Obi-Wan knows Francesca and Satine aren’t really the same thing, but they mean the same thing to him. One slips him free red bell peppers sometimes by ringing them up as green ones with a wink and a quirk of her lips. The other is his ex-wife.

But neither of them is Anakin, and so they mean the same thing to him. He doesn’t love them. He can’t even pay them the slightest modicum of his attention, because he’s too wrapped up in and around and going crazy over this man who’s petty enough to have absolutely just ruined Obi-Wan’s dinner on purpose by adding too much spice to the stew Obi-Wan had requested.

“Anakin, I think we need to take a step back from this,” he finally gets out when his partner is distracted by opening and closing the cabinet doors, ostensibly looking for the bowls even though he’d been the one to reorganize the dishes in the first place, years ago, and he’s never not known where something is.

“I think I’m going to sleep in my room tonight,” Anakin replies in an icy voice. “I think you might be right.”

“What? Darling, no—Anakin, love, it’s—casual cannot even come close to describing the texts, you can read them if you want, there’s nothing there—“

“Daddy? Obi?” Luke asks from the kitchen doorway. He’s peering around it, little face looking horrified. Obi-Wan freezes. How loud had they been? Luke and Leia are seven now, they remember these things, they have questions—“Is dinner ready? Obi?”

Leia’s face joins the same pale ghost of her brother’s, and Obi-Wan feels awful. Absolutely terrible, but the sort of terrible he doesn’t know what to do with. The twins heard them arguing, they were practically shouting at each other, Anakin is planning to sleep in a different room, Anakin didn’t even call it a guest room, he called it his room even though they’ve been together for—for a year and a bit now—and isn’t that devastating? My room, Anakin had said. Does he not understand everything Obi-Wan owns is his as well? Does he…does he not want it?

“Almost,” Anakin replies. He sounds so forcefully happy that it’s manic. It comes across much too fake, and Obi-Wan can feel the way Luke immediately distrusts the word, the expression. “I just realized I forgot something at the store though! We need bread! We can’t have the stew without bread.” 

Anakin nods once to himself as he says this, shooting Obi-Wan a very quick glance before his eyes snag on the phone on the counter between them and he looks away as if incredibly pained, hands ghosting down to the pockets of his jeans to check for his keys.

Obi-Wan thinks it would really actually kill a part of him to watch Anakin drive away on his bike right now. Not to mention the twins.

Oh, the twins. 

This had been why they were so hesitant in the first place, to bite the bullet, to kiss and mean it and remember it and lean in again. Their relationship affects the twins, and as much as Obi-Wan loves Anakin, he’d been so worried about even accidentally causing the kids distress. 

He thinks seeing their father leave when they can tell something is wrong would be devastating.

“I’ll go,” Obi-Wan says, putting a hand flat on the counter, pocketing the phone, and fighting the urge to glare at Anakin because the other man should know—should think—but this Anakin is almost a stranger to him, all clenched jaw and shaking hands and it’s just a text—it sort of makes him mad as well, angry that it hurts so much, that Anakin doesn’t trust him. They’ve known each other going on three years, their entire lives were intertwined almost immediately. “Give me the keys.”

“Yeah, right,” Anakin scoffs, shoulders tense and unyielding. “To the bike?”

“No, dumb—” he cuts himself off because he’s too old to be namecalling, especially around little ears. “The keys to the car are behind you. On their hook. Can you hand them to me?”  He doesn’t think he should get within a few feet of Anakin right now. Not for fear of violence–either from him or from his partner—but because it just—it doesn’t seem like a good idea. Not when they need bread.

“Should I leave my phone?” He can’t help but ask acidly. 

“I don’t know,” Anakin shoots back with deadly accuracy, slinging the keys across the countertop hard enough that they spin out of control and Obi-Wan has to stoop to catch them “Should you?”

Obi-Wan turns and gets to the mouth of the kitchen without another word. He debates his actions, his emotions, for a second’s pause before he puts his phone on the countertop and sweeps out into the entryway and then just as quickly out of the house all together.

He can’t go far. The Skywalkers have made him incapable of it. He’ll go to the store. He’ll get Anakin his fucking bread, which really means he’ll give Anakin space to think, and he’ll take his own space to think, and then he’ll come back because it’s Anakin, it’s Anakin and it’s his family, and he thinks this is the stupidest fight in the entire goddamn world because doesn’t Anakin know how much he can’t love anyone else? Doesn’t he know that if Satine were to turn up on his doorstep tomorrow and ask for him to unsign the divorce papers, he wouldn’t even consider it?

Doesn’t he know—

“Obi?” Leia’s voice says at the same time there’s a hesitant tug on the edge of his shirt. He turns around and looks down at the girl. “Where are you going, Obi?”

“Your father wants bread for dinner,” he tells her. “So I’m going out to get bread. For dinner.”

“Oh,” Leia bites her lip before looking back behind her at the open door of the house. “Luke wants to know if you’re gonna come back, Obi.”

Since she turned seven, Leia has had trouble admitting when she wants to know something. She finds it so much easier to pretend she’s her brother’s spokesperson. “Daddy, Luke wants to know if the dog dies in the movie.” “Obi, Luke wants to know if we have to go to the barbecue, only cause Johnny is going to be there, and Luke really doesn’t like him.”

“Leia love,” Obi-Wan crouches down to look at her completely. “Of course I’m coming back. We need bread, darling.”

“I don’t want bread,” she snaps, sounding suddenly so very much like her father. “I want you.”

“Leia,” Obi-Wan pauses, smoothing his hand over the top of her hair carefully. He needs to soothe her, because he and Anakin had been so out of line earlier, fighting where the children could hear and now look what it’s done to them.

“Obi,” Luke trots out of the house before he can figure out what to say to her. “Obi, you should take this,” he holds something up and presses it into unresisting hands. “If daddy needs to keep your phone, you can have mine. Just in case you wanna talk to us while you’re gone.”

It’s the plastic, bulky flip phone that’d come in a kit of kid’s toys a Christmas ago. Smiley faces instead of buttons, but it made sounds when you hit it. Luke had been obsessed with it from the beginning.

Obi-Wan looks down at the phone and feels the very absurd urge to cry. “Loves,” he whispers, pulling Leia into his side. “Oh—”

He remembers thinking once when he’d just been given the Skywalkers, that first time he’d been asked to sit beside Luke’s bed until he fell asleep, that for children, love was about staying.

How can he possibly leave them now? When he loves them so much as well? When his love never grew out of that child’s wish for someone to stroke his hair as he dozed?

“Oh, alright, Luke, Leia,” he says, standing with only a bit of a wince because he’s getting so very old and Leia has thrown her arms around his neck unexpectedly so he rises with the weight of a child attached to him. “If your daddy wants bread, then let’s get him bread.”

“Road trip?” Leia asks with excitement.

“Better,” Obi-Wan promises, letting Luke grab onto his hand. “Science experiment.”

[padawansuggest]

I think it would have been funny if Vaderkin escaped Mortis with all his memories of the future, showed up at Palpatine’s office with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka trying to get after him to restrain him, and Anakin just goes fucking nuclear with a swish of his hand (in true Vader Destruction Mode okay Ani never would have done something that intense but Vader would wreck anything to get his job done) and the senate had to be evacuated when Vaderkin collapses half the chancellor’s office on him only for Palpatine to still be alive and show his colours as the Sith Lord by fighting back and now the Jedi are like ‘um… we were gonna stop Ani at any means possible… but… he might legit got this…’ and then when it’s all over Ani is coming back into himself as Vader’s mission ends and his sunshine happy self comes back and he just breaks down crying and Obi-Wan thinks he’s crying cause he fought a Sith but when he comes over to hug him (they got Padme on a shuttle comin to take over with Ani-sitting lmao they in over they heads) Anakin just cries into his shoulders and says he can’t be a Jedi because he loves Padme and their children and Obi-Wan and Ahsoka so much he would burn worlds for them and he hates Palpatine even past his death because he’s the reason Vader hurt his babies and never got to see them grow up and he just cries for so long (boy deserves that cry) while Obi-Wan holds him and finally it’s too much and Obi just blurts out that he would leave the order if Ani asked him to. He’d canonically contemplated leaving when Ani was 12 if Ani had chose to so he blurts it all out that Ani’s happiness and wellbeing is more important to him than being a Jedi and Ahsoka (who’s been sitting off to the side a while unsure what to do but holding onto Ani’s robes) says she wanted to stay with him wherever he went to.

Tbh Mace is just happy they’re all discussing this on their own cause the council IS going to have to ask Ani to either leave or admit himself as a long term mental health patient so he’s thankful he doesn’t have to bring it up and Padme gets there and Ani is her lappup for the time being while Ani and Obi discuss that they can make baby steps out first by them staying in-temple while Ani goes to mind healers and Obi too tbh he’s got a lot going and after Mortis their girl Soka is On The Edge and she needs it too now and so Mace is just glad to get them tucked away in the temple where they belong while seeing mind healers (protective af over just about everyone in the order is how Mace should be) and Cody and Rex bully their way into the temple with them to take care of their Jettis but there are still battles to fight and Dooku and Grevious to capture so things are tough but calming down.

Ani cries a bunch because he’s got all of Vaders memories and sometimes he just collapses into Obi’s arms because he can’t handle what he did in the Jedi temple or all the planets he hurt and he’s terrified to have children cause Luke and Leia were such perfect little creatures but Ani can’t hurt them again and Ani just deserves to cry like constantly and whenever he wants to because he’s tired and hurt and he needs therapy.

Obi-Wan is mostly in shock and not functioning very well but Cody’s taking care of him while coordinating the troops from the temple and the chips are found and removed and everything slowly gets better.

But mostly just let Ani let loose Vader levels of absolute power and total destruction upon his enemies and create maelstroms of terror and destruction before collapsing and crying about it for like six hours.

Also Soka is really fucked up from what they went through and needs some therapy. Also Obi is about to get captured by a mind healer because he’s pretending NONE of that just happened and his coping mechanisms are basically non-existent or alcohol now days. Get them some fucking help. Also let them explain to the council what happened on Mortis and how Ani got another life trapped in his head and watch the council end up flipping their lids over that one.

[americancowgirl19]

When You Learn a New Trick

Summary: You learn how to find Poe no matter where either of you are

Warnings: angst, fluff

Reader: Gender Neutral Adoptive Solo Reader (Force Sensitive)

Pairings: Poe Dameron x Reader

Word Count: 2,982

A/n: This is a one shot that’s connected to a series. Some are stand alones, some you should read in order to understand. Let me know if you want to be tagged!

@believinghurts​

Masterlist - Series Masterlist

The two of you weren’t completely naïve. You and Poe knew that being in a relationship while being a part of the resistance wouldn’t be easy. Only the two of you seriously underestimated just how difficult things were becoming. 

Thankfully not everything was difficult. In fact, a lot of things fell into place once the relationship began. Leading your squadrons didn’t become easier per se but the two of you were more in tune with each other and were constantly trying to one up the other. The competition between Blue and Black squadrons helped the pilots within each group become better.

It also helped that the both of you were able to help the other with whatever paperwork needed to be done. Although, as long as you did the paper work in a public area it tended to actually get done compared to if either of you started it inside the privacy of either yours or his quarters. Sometimes you both just got... distracted. 

The difficulties came with the missions. The longer you two were together the more you cared for each other which meant it became harder to see the other taking off into space for a mission they might not return from. Before the two of you had gotten together there was always concern for the others wellbeing when they went into space but now things were different.

Tonight, was one of those nights. Poe had been gone for thirteen days. Thankfully he’s been checking in as often as he’s supposed too. At the beginning of the relationship Poe had still been a little lax in his commander duties. He wouldn’t check in when he was supposed to and wouldn’t write out his reports.

To say you ripped him a new one was an understatement.

“I checked in!” Poe shouted defensively with a small nervous smile. The look only fueled your anger. Of course, he didn’t understand why you were upset. Of course, he couldn’t see what the big deal was. Well, he was about to find out.

“Poe, you were gone for ten days,” You state slowly, and a little condescendingly. “You were supposed to check in at least every other day,” You continue in the same tone keeping eye contact to make sure you weren’t losing him. “That means you had five *you held up five fingers* check ins. Tell me, Poe, how many did you do?” You ask, crossing your arms.

“I did three,” He shrugs before quickly motioning for you to hold on. “Now wait a second,” he says quickly. “I missed the second check in because the damn thing broke and it took Snap a little bit to get it up and-”

“It took Snap a few hours!” You shouted. “You should have called the instant it was ready!”

“Yeah... Alright,” Poe nods, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll give you that one,” He mutters.

“And what about the last one? Huh?! No don’t tell me, let me guess. You figured since you’d be home in a few days you would just not check in and give your report to Leia when you returned to base,” You stated, your hands placed firmly on your hips.

“I’m sensing I fucked up,”

You pinch the bridge of your nose trying desperately to remain calm. You took a moment, a longer moment than you intended too, to remain in balance with yourself. The longer you took to respond to him the more Poe became anxious.

“Do you understand what I’ve been feeling the last three days?” You ask, looking at him. “You knew that we couldn’t reach out to you because of your position which is why it was so important that you comm’d us. We had no way of knowing if you were alive or if you had been kidnapped or if you needed backup!” Poe’s eyes fall to the ground. “I had no way of knowing if you were alive,” You whisper.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry,” Poe says, forcing himself to look at you despite how much he hated having your scared disappointed eyes on him.

“I had Black prepared for takeoff if you didn’t return today,” you tell him. “Can you even comprehend the repercussions of your laziness?” you ask him. “If Leia hadn’t approved of my idea to take the squad out to find you, I would have been suspended or even lost rank all because you couldn’t care to take a few minutes to check in,”

“You would have come for me?” Poe asks. He knows how important this resistance is to you. While Poe’s content with his commander position, he knows that you’re working hard for a promotion. Hearing that you would have risked such a major setback in your military career just because of the possibility that he might be dead or in danger shocked him.

“Yes,” you say without a moment of hesitation. “And if it happened and that was how I found out about the fact that you were simply neglecting your duties I would have put you in the medical ward for a kriffing month,”

“So, I’m in the clear now?” He asks, with a weary but playful smile. Your glare hardens.

“Don’t push it... I haven’t decided one way or the other yet,” you tell him. “What I have decided is the amount of paperwork you’re going to do before you’re cleared to fly again,”

“What?” Poe asks.

“I suggested to Leia that since you have been having a hard time remembering to check in and do your reports that you should take some time to... practice,” you say, with a smug grin. “She not only agreed but she added to my list of things for you to do. When, and only when, you complete the entire list will you be cleared to fly. When you’re cleared for flight, you’ll be put on short, half week missions until you’ve proven your ability to complete your duties.”

“How much?” Poe asks, wincing in anticipation.

“Oh, darling,” You sigh, stepping closer to him. “You won’t be looking up from a desk for quite some time,” You promise. Only then do you allow yourself to touch him and only when your hands thread through his curls do you finally feel yourself become balanced again. “Thank the maker you’re safe,” You breathe before pulling him into a kiss.

It took Poe three months before he was not only cleared to fly but to do missions as well. Tonight, is his first long distance mission since then and while he checked in without fail you still couldn’t help but to worry.

Anything could happen between check ins. You knew Poe wouldn’t be in the clear until he was back in your arms. You missed him terribly and couldn’t wait till he returned.

Tonight, you sat under the stars leaning against the outside wall of the x-wing hanger. You knew he wouldn’t return for another day but as you looked into the night sky you hoped that one of the stars would move until it took form of the fighter Poe flew. A useless hope but one you held onto nonetheless.

Since you knew you wouldn’t sleep tonight you decided to meditate. You crossed your legs and straightened your back. Within a few calming breathes the force welcomed you with a warm embrace.

You didn’t usually meditate so close to the base because of how many signatures were around you. Humanoid signatures were stronger and more diverse than that of the animals that would surround you in the forest. Thankfully it was night so there was more peace than when everyone’s awake.

It wasn’t hard to seek out your mother’s signature. She felt it instantly and pushed feelings of warmth and love which you returned. You then searched for Nima. When you found her, you felt how tired and sore she is. You hoped she was at the end of her shift because you knew how much she needed to rest.

When you withdrew from her you focused on yourself. You breathed deeply and controlled the balance within you. Tonight, was an easy night. You didn’t have to fight with yourself for peace. It was relaxing.

Then an idea occurred. You didn’t know if it was possible but you knew it was worth a try. You took deeper breaths before stretching your mind into the galaxy.

It happened instantly. Millions of force signatures rushing you all at once. It was like loud white noise. You tried to stick with it, to sort through them but it was too much.

Your eyes snapped open and you began to pant. You wiped some sweat off of your forehead surprised by how much energy that had taken out of you. 

You wondered how far you had reached. How many planets did you touch? How far could you go? Would you be able to find him in all the madness?

It was difficult but you weren’t ready to give up yet. Was it possible to find Poe when he’s so far away? You believed it was. Would you be able to find him tonight without much practice? You were cocky enough to believe that.

Closing your eyes again you regained your breath. You reached out again, more prepared than the first time. The rush came and your first instinct was to fight against it like before but instead you tried to relax your mind. You stayed in control of your breath and welcomed the chaos raging through your mind.

You felt more and more pressure as your mind expanded deeper into the galaxy. You continued to push as far as you could until your mind snapped back. 

When your eyes opened you felt more drained than you had been before. Your muscles ached and your body was beginning to sweat. You weren’t ready to give up yet. You had one more try in you.

When you went back into the force your mind relaxed quicker. You thought about Poe. You thought about how his signature always called to you when he was near. How just his presence settled your mind. How happy he’s made you since you accepted him.

“Poe...” You whisper when you find him. He’s so far away but you’re certain he’s the presence you feel. A second later it feels as if he’s right beside you. You can sense that he’s safe but tired.

You weren’t strong enough to hold on for long. A few more seconds at most before you’re losing focus and opening your eyes. Your back falls against the wall behind you.

He’s safe and, as far as you can tell, unharmed. He would be home soon and you couldn’t wait until he’s in your arms again.

A few days later Poe returned to you, right on time, and he never mentioned anything out of the ordinary which told you that while you could feel him, he couldn’t feel you. You hoped that with time and practice you would be able to send your presence strong enough for him to sense you.

You didn’t want this new trick you’ve learned to be a one-way comfort, something just for you. You knew that long distance missions were hard on both of you and if you could comfort him, even for a few moments, it would make all the difference.

You didn’t get time to practice before your next mission. You and Poe only had three days together before you and your squad were supposed to leave. The morning before you left you were tempted to forsake everything and just stay in bed.

“You know they won’t leave without you,” Poe mutters, his voice low and husky. His eyes are barely open but his sleepy mind is completely focused on you. The both of you were on your sides, legs tangled together with your hands caressing and holding each other. “Stay a little longer,” 

“Hmm... sounds like a full proof plan,” You mutter, resting your hand on his scratch jawline. He was due for a shave... Although you wouldn’t mind a stubble. 

“As if you would expect anything less from me,” he says, snaking his arm around your waist. You don’t resist as he pulls you onto his chest as he rolls onto his back. “My plans are always full proof,” You let out a breathy laugh, nuzzling into his neck.

“When I come back, we’ll have longer together,” You promise. Poe smiles at your confidence in your return. It helped ease his mind. You kiss his neck softly before lifting your head to look at him. “I’ll give you an entire day, just the two of us,”

“Oh, really?” He asks, gently caressing your sides. “And what are we gonna do?” He asks. You lower your head and rest it on his.

“Well, I would give you a full rundown on my plans,” You mutter, straddling his waist. You smirk as his hands follow the curve of your ass, giving it a squeeze. “But I don’t have time so you’re gonna have to use your imagination,”

“Oh, yeah? You know how wild my mind can be,” He murmurs. You hum, brushing his hair back off his forehead before kissing the exposed skin. He gently guides your lips back to his. It’s an unrushed kind of kissed but filled with just as much passion and softness.

“I’ve got to go,”

While you knew leaving the bed wasn’t a choice, right now you wished you had stayed with Poe. The mission was supposed to be a few days. It was stealth. You were to steal information and return.

Everything went to shit on the first day. Your entire squadron was separated, intel was lost, and you were overdue to return to base. You and Snap were stranded on some damn planet. His x-wing was beyond repair and the two of you were trying to fix yours. 

“Do you think the others made it back?” Snap asks. You glance at him from across the fire. The both of you had spent all day working on repairs and knew it would take at least another day before the x-wing would be able to take off.

“Yeah,” You nod softly. “If not, we’re gonna scour the entire fucking galaxy until we find every last one of them,” You promise him. He smiles a bit.

“That is if Poe lets you out of his sight,” Snap says and you snort. 

A couple minutes later Snap went to sleep leaving you with the first watch. Now that you were alone you decided to try and find Poe within the force. You hesitated for a moment. 

You had never outright told Poe about your force sensitivity. It wasn’t something you talked about. Although, you assumed he knew. It wasn’t a secret that you had trained under the Luke Skywalker. Still, it made you hesitate for only a moment.

You closed your eyes and breathed deeply. Your need to feel his presence overran any hesitation you felt. It wasn’t any easier this time around. But you didn’t give up.

It took you a moment before you realized that while you were searching for Poe you felt tugs pulling you in certain directions. The force was trying to guide you and instead of listening you were trying to do it on your own. Chiding yourself, you gave into the force and followed it where it wanted to take you.

Seconds later you found Poe. You sensed he was filled to the brim with anxiety. You felt guilty knowing you were the cause of this. You hated how worried he felt. You didn’t know if he would feel it but you tried to send him comfort and reassurance only to be responded with confusion.

You couldn’t help but to smile. He had sensed your presence he just didn’t know it. You could feel him ignoring you but you didn’t blame him. When you returned you were gonna have to explain everything to him.

“There,” You sighed as you finished with the last wires. “Alright, F2 fire her up,” The droid beeped and restarted the x-wing. You smirked as the engines roared to life. Snap resulted in a large whoop as he climbed in the back. “Ready to go home?”

“Let’s do this!” Snap shouted. You closed the hatch and took off into the galaxy. The flight was a few hours but eventually you landed back on base. Your mother was there to greet you. She had sensed you coming.

“You’re safe,” Leia whispers, cupping your cheek when you stop in front of her. You smile pulling her into a tight embrace.

“Has everyone returned?” You ask her.

“You and Temmin were the last to return,” she says and you sigh in relief. When the two of you pull away your eyes snap towards the entrance to the hanger. You see Poe skidding to a halt outside. His eyes frantically search the area until they fall on you. “He hasn’t slept since we lost contact,” She whispers. 

“Permission to report at a later date?” You ask, keeping your eyes on Poe. Leia smiles softly lifting her hand to rub your back.

“Granted,” she says softly. With her permission you step towards Poe. The first step you take snaps Poe out of his daze and he takes off toward you. When he’s close enough, he sweeps you off your feet.

“You can’t get mad at me for not checking in and then turn around and do the same thing,” Poe whispers, holding you in an iron grip.

“I’m sorry, Snap decided to take the scenic route on some jungle planet and I thought I’d join him,” You whisper back. Poe pulls away just enough to see your face. You press your forehead against his. “I missed you,” You whisper.

“Oh, sweetheart, I missed you so much,” Poe mutters back before pressing his lips against yours.

[daincrediblegg]

ok yeah I think I gotta elaborate on the hand holding because y'all... who's ever actually given Obi-Wan comfort? Hm? He's always the responsible one. The one giving comfort to others, helping in any way he can. And in the last 10 years of his exile has been much the same and now I think I know why. He keeps trying to find comfort and connection despite his solitude. In any way he can. He's not just been isolated from the force but also from people physically. And all this time we've expected he handled it well because, well, he's Obi-Wan. He's wise and powerful and in tune with his emotions and could handle being alone be. But that's not the truth of things- he hasn't been handling it well and he's been silently suffering because of it. He's not just willingly cut himself off from the force- he's having a hard time re-connecting to it too because of his isolation. He's tried to reach out with it and to others too. To Luke, who he can only watch grow-up from afar. To Qui-Gon, who's the only person who might be able to comfort HIM through all this. Even to Anakin, as painful as it is for him- he still has a great deal of regret and guilt about what happened to him and he does still wish he had his brother back. He's still trying. And whether by the force or not he's not gotten a shred of reciprocation. Owen doesn't want him to fail Luke like he did Anakin. Anakin is utterly destroyed from the man he knew and hates him and wants him DEAD. Qui-Gon is simply as absent as his connection to the force is.

... and then there's Leia. Leia who's still just a child, and who needs his help. Who he ended up deciding was worth risking his own exposure to save... and who, to no one's surprise... endeared him to her immediately. Not just because of of the fact that she reminds him of Anakin and of Padme, or that she's Luke's sister and strong with the force and important to the future of the Galaxy... But because she's a good person in and of herself in her own right. She's strong, and brave, and sharp as a tack and wise beyond her years to the point it surprises Obi-Wan a few times, and he respects her and even ALLOWS her to lead him around even though it's gotten them into trouble, who he opened up to as a result knowing she was too smart to be lied to (like he does with luke lmao). And through this journey he's really started to feel a connection to this kid. A great affection. And in his connection to her, he's starting to regain himself. Slowly. Her company has been the only thing that has gotten him to use the force, to remember how to use his own lightsaber, to remember what is right and good and needs protecting. And when he loses her and worries for her he only gets stronger- sharper. As does his connection to the force, showing a little more return with his lightsaber skills, his mind tricks, skill in espionage. And when they are reunited? He keeps her close. I know we joke about the two jedi in a trench coat thing but she's sticking to Obi-Wan like GLUE the second she's freed. That he makes her feel safe. Just like he told her the Force feels like safety. And she had been so worried that saftey was gone. She stayed strong through it all but when she sees Obi-Wan alive she's fucking relieved, and doesn't have much time to tell him such while they're trying to escape.

But then they're in the carrier. Someone else died to make sure she was safe. And it could've been Obi-Wan. And again, wise beyond her years she understands that, and understands that every moment he's spent with her is a risk to him but he does it anyway because he cares for her a great deal.

So she reaches out. And Obi-Wan is certainly not expecting it... it's more often his hand over others but this time? It's her hand over his. And that one gesture says so much. That she's GLAD he's here- and thus far? She's been the only one that genuinely is.And though it is small -and I mean literally, just her tiny little hand on his weathered ones-, it's all he's needed this entire time. And for the first time in a very LONG time, I think Obi-Wan felt just as safe in return. Safe in his abilities. Safe in the force... but most importantly safe in himself, and in the future that lays before them all. Safe with this little girl who's just as concerned for him as he is for her. And there's more power in just that alone than I think either of them fully understand, or at least can say in words. Just holding each other's hands at the end of a long rescue was enough.

[dameronology]

to all the pilots i've loved before {poe dameron} - 1/4

part one: different sides of the same wall

summary: you're in love with poe dameron. it's both the most complicated and most simple thing in the galaxy - and it's all shoved into a shoe-box under your bed, in the form of a thousand love letters. here's to hoping he never finds them. {series masterlist}

warnings; language

enjoy!! - jazz

(shout out to @profkenobi for helping me with grammar!! <3)

You didn't mean to fall in love with Poe Dameron.

It was a bad habit -- one that you kept promising to break, only to never find the courage. You know when you open a bottle of wine, and promise yourself one glass? Then an hour later, the bottle, let alone the fucking glass, is empty and you're dancing on the table and your cheeks are warm, and even with the worst hangover the next day, you know in your soul that you'd do it all over again? Because for the laughs, and the love, and the feeling you got of meeting your friend's eyes across the room under the dim lights of a late night, the head-aches were worth it.

You know when you open a bottle of wine? And promise yourself one glass? Then an hour later, the glass--let alone the fucking bottle--is empty and you're dancing on the table, and your cheeks are warm, and even with the worst hangover the next day, you know in your soul thaou'd do it all over again? Despite promising yourself you won't? Because for the laughs, and the love, and the feeling you get from meeting your friend's eye across the room under late-night dim lights, the headaches were worth it.

It was locked away under your bed; a pile of letters stuffed in a shoe box and wedged between BB-8's maintenance kit and your go-bag. You'd always been told that a pen was mightier than a sword, but ramming a bladed object through the beating heart of the most important friendship in your life felt, by all intents and purposes, a bit less damaging than any scenario in which Poe read your words.

So, you wrote and you and wrote, but you could never quite right your way out. Every time you scrawled down your feelings and locked them away in that cursed box, it felt like you were ripping off tiny bits of your soul and shoving them under your bed. Bit by bit, day by day, until there was nothing left but a tangle of unrequited love. It was daunting, and yet, you couldn't find it in you to complain.

"What are you so deep in thought about, huh?"

The sound of Poe's voice pulled you back to reality.

He'd dragged you out on yet another late night walk - just you and him trudging through the swampy forests of Ajan Kloss, the thick air suffocating you in a manner not entirely dissimilar to the way your feelings for the pilot did. The hot atmosphere clung to every part of you - hair and skin and head - but every so often, a cool midnight breeze would brush over you. You kept your eyes focused on the moon ahead, glancing between the different stars, and wandering which planets were which. It was the only way to keep you occupied as you wrote the next letter in your head.

Dear Poe, you suck.

"How much I want my bed," You murmured. "You know I have to leave early for a mission tomorrow, right?"

Firstly, because you make it so fucking easy to be in love with you. I wish that you could fuck up, or do something so irretrievably stupid that my feelings for you dry up like a puddle under the Tatooine suns.

"I know," Poe flashed you a smile, flinging his arm over your shoulders. He was in his pyjama bottoms and an old shirt, his iconic jacket slung over the top. "Sue for me wanting to spend quality time with my bestie before they leave-"

"- bestie?" You cut him off with a snort. "What are you? Twelve?"

But secondly, because you drag me out on these kriffing walks at 1 in the morning. And you know I'll never say no, on account for the aforementioned fact that I'm IN LOVE WITH YOU and also because I enjoy your company, you cocky bastard.

"What would you rather I call you?" Poe teased. "My partner-in-crime? My worst half? The reason Leia Organa banned me from going near the Falcon?"

"Screw you, Dameron," you huffed. "That was both our fault."

"You were supposed to be giving me directions!"

"And you were meant to be looking were you going!"

Everytime I hear noise outside my room when it's dark, I secretly hope that it's you. I know I see you everyday, at every meal and at every meeting, but now? It's just us. And when it's just us, it feels like we could be an...us us.

"What time do you head out in the morning?" Poe asked.

"About 7AM," you replied.

"It's only three days," He reasoned. "I'm sure BB-8 won't miss you too much."

You peered up at him, smiling. "Oh yeah, I'll be back so soon that BB-8 won't even notice I'm gone."

"I think he will."

Poe looked beautiful under the moonlight, and it was rather annoying because it did nothing to help your case. He had a thousand curls sticking out from under his hood; his brown eyes were tired from sleep, but the white light of the moon illuminated the tiny gold flecks speckled around his iris. You didn't mean to stare, but every time you did, you spotted something new - like the fact the left side of his mouth turned up slightly more than the right when he smiled, or the tiny little scar just below his nose.

And even though I sometimes think you might like or love me too, I really really really love our friendship. I love the way you try to make me laugh and I love the way you can read me like a book (and sometimes I hate it too) and I love the way you make everything between us so warm and so natural. I can die happy with what I have now.

"C'mon," Poe pulled you closer to his side. "Let's head back to base."

"Yeah, good idea." You murmured.

You walked the rest of the way back in silence. His arm didn't move from your side, and you didn't try to protest. It felt like your natural state, and one you never wanted to change. You always got a little clingy with him before missions, as he did with you before his - when you spent days apart, it was hard...because of what good friends you were.

Anyways, I guess that's it for now. For this letter. Until the next time my undying love for you feels like it will consume whole, not unlike the time we sae Chewbacca eat a porg.

There was no guarantee that you would even work - how complicated were relationships in the Resistance? And what if the pressure of it being a relationship suffocated the flames between you? And, worst of all, what if he just didn't love you back? Maybe you were just a friend to him. A platonic soulmate.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you hadn't realised you got back to your quarters. They were next door to Poe's - your beds were pressed up against different sides of the same wall, so even when you slept apart, you didn't really. A wall was nothing when, most of the time, it felt like there were literal galaxies between you.

"This is where I leave you," Poe released his grip on you. "I'm gonna miss you, trouble."

"Poe, it's three days," you gently reminded him. "I'll be back before you know it."

"I know. It's just three days longer than I'd like it to be," he bit his lip for a moment, brown eyes seemingly pondering...something. "Promise me you'll bring me back a magnet?"

"I will do my very best to find you a gift shop." You grinned.

Poe pulled you into a tight hug, holding you against his chest and resting a hand on the back of your head. He overwhelmed your senses at the best of times, but when the smell of his aftershave was so close, and his calloused hands felt like the only thing anchoring you to an otherwise dizzy universe, it felt like you could live and breathe for him, and only him. Couldn't think about anyone else, or dream about them, or even talk to them. It was just Poe. Only Poe.

"Fly safe." He gently said, before letting go.

"I always do," you replied. "You're the one who's trouble."

"So why do I call you trouble, trouble?"

"Beats me," you shrugged. "Goodnight, Poe."

tags: @neverlandlibrarian @asphyzzz @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @ubri812 @taina-eny

[willowcrowned]

In your Skywalker bs cubed au, how long would Obi Wan be able to hide Vader’s identity from Anakin, and which twin would Anakin figure out was his kid first?

Oooh, see, you raise a very good question. I think your second query is quite answerable— the second someone mentions either Luke or Anakin’s last name, they’re gonna figure it out. (The Skywalker boys are stupid, but they’re not that stupid. The fact that Ben knows Anakin is a clue enough to Luke in itself).

The first question is a little harder, because first we have to answer whether Ben wants to hide Vader’s identity, and then whether he can.

I think it’s probably fair to say that he wants to— here is Anakin in front of him, so far from how he last remembers him, burning on Mustafar, and so close to how he wants to remember him. Ben knows that this Anakin is capable of horrible things, of atrocities, but he almost can’t bring himself to care. He still loves Vader, who has committed those atrocities, because that’s what loving someone does to you— it changes your soul, changes the fabric of who you are from the inside out, until stopping loving them would be the same as tearing yourself apart. And if Ben loves Vader, he certainly loves Anakin, certainly wants to protect him, to save him, for all that he doesn’t trust him. He doesn’t want Anakin to know what he becomes, because then Anakin will be one step closer to becoming it.

As for whether he can— well, there were only a few people in the galaxy who knew Vader’s true identity, and of those few only three, none of them loyal to the Empire, who knew of Vader’s children. I think Ben thinks he can conceal it.

I don’t think Ben can, though.

We don’t know how the Force works, but stripped down to its barest, canon, bones, Luke can recognize Vader. Vader can recognize Luke. And Vader can almost certainly recognize Anakin.

Forget the tracker on the Falcon, forget the Death Star, Vader is coming after Anakin by himself, on his own. Rebels be damned, this is far more important— this is himself, before Mustafar, before Padmé’s death, and if Anakin Skywalker can find his way into the future, then Vader can find his way into the past. His wife, his children, aren’t lost to him forever.

So Vader shows up on Yavin, storms into the Rebel Base, and hauls Anakin up by the collar, and says, in what to Anakin is a weird voice, “Where have you come from, Anakin Skywalker?”

Luke blinks. “Wait, Skywalker?”

“That’s none of your concern,” Anakin spits back.

“He did say Skywalker, right?”

Ben groans. 

“I’m not imagining things?”

“He said Skywalker,” Leia confirms.

“Anakin Skywalker.”

Anakin huffs. “I’m a little busy, here!”

“But my dad was Anakin Skywalker!” Luke beams.

The world goes still, the room dropping a hundred degrees in an instant.

“What,” Vader croaks.

Oh fuck me, Ben thinks, beginning to look for escape routes. 

The doors slam shut.

Fuck, Ben thinks again, more emphatically.

“You’re my SON??!!” Anakin breaks free of Vader’s grip, which seems to have substantively weakened, and rushes over to Luke. “But that’s incredible!” He frowns, turning to Ben. “Obi-Wan, why did my son grow up on Tatooine?”

Vader’s head turns slowly towards Ben too, an ominous silence growing over the room again.

“Well—” Obi-Wan says.

“Did I die?”

“In... a manner of speaking.”

Anakin turns back around to face Vader. “Did he kill me? There’s no way I died to anything but a Sith.”

“Anakin Skywalker died so I might live,” Vader says, but there’s no triumph in it, only a sinking sort of desolation.

“Oh that is IT.” Anakin flicks his lightsaber on, and Ben sighs.

“Vader didn’t kill you, Anakin,” Ben says, wincing.

“I subsumed him,” Vader says clenching his fist in a way that might look intimidating if he didn’t also look like he was about to keel over.

“You ATE ME?!” Anakin screeches. “What the FUCK, dude!”

“He—” Ben tries again, weakly, “he didn’t eat you. It’s a metaphor.”

Vader lets out one long, loud breath. “I was Anakin Skywalker, but in his weakness, I consumed him.”

“Oh, fuck no,” Anakin says, and raises his lightsaber, ready to fight.