#might as well post it?? i feel like i didn't post it before cuz 1) it ain't that good LOL

[clotpolesonly]

longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, one, freight car

“...what the hell is a Stiles?”

[hibiscusseaart]

huge ass post with MadaTobi Babies

its finally done, its almost 1 am, I started at 7 pm

OK SO HERE THEY ARE

So a little lore and then I'm gonna introduce them.

As you may remember from my earlier post, Tobirama (they married when he was 19) after the marriage, decided to create a child to tie Madara to him and the village stronger just in case Madara would try to leave the village. He couldn't destroy the village if there's his kid running around, right?

So Tobirama started learning biology pretty early in their marriage + Itama (@oh-no-its-bird 's one) helped a lot too. Mito helped with the seals to make an incubator. Tobirama didn't want a surrogate mother just because he was afraid that Madara would get attached to the mother of his children and he didn’t want that (plus he's jealous but doesn't realise it 🤭).

He created some sort of very real transformation jutsu that would trick his body to think that he has ovaries and he'd get the eggs that way! But he couldn't keep uterus and ect for 9 months, plus this jutsu is HARD to keep on for very long periods of time. It's easier to make a few organs from chakra that could produce real eggs than a whole new system. Plus Tobirama really didn't want to get pregnant and he wasn't sure he wouldn't fuck up his own body. Tobirama, with as gray morale as his, could just scrap failed embryo and start anew. He can't do that with his own body.

Anyway, incubator it is!

At first he did all of that in secret, stealing Madara's sperm (that's... a thing now) for his first experiments while they had sex. (Tobirama fucking Madara real hard that he’d pass out after and then take samples) ANYWAY

So he announced about his plans when the first stable and pretty healthy embryo was ready.

The first baby, Motoko! The melanin quee. She got all of it. Nothing left for her brother or sister. Ofc she's not THAT dark skinned, but she is for an Uchiha who are mostly white as a paper in canon.

(Tobirama is 21 for reference)

Her name literally means "Experiment seed first". Tobirama named this project this way for secrecy if someone would overhear his talks with Itama and Mito. It’d be Uchiha clan head’s child so hush-hush.

The name meanings + kanji! Hope I got them right, I have no japanese knowledge

oh and there is flirting with past and time in general in this name so it might be Tobirama reminiscing his first timeline. Like Motoko didn't even EXIST before.

So when he presented the embryo to Madara and Hashirama, they were ecstatic of course.

Madara almost cried. Hashirama became a river of tears.

Madara never really hoped for his own children since he married Tobirama cuz, well, they're both men. Doesn't really work that way. But Tobirama made it work and Madara is in love all over again.

Madara refuses to leave their future baby for a long time, just looking at them in the incubator. But the baby doesn’t need much there so Tobirama makes him leave and live a life while they’re waiting when the kid is ready.

Oh and Madara was SO against the name that basically means “experiment seed 1”. But when Tobirama asked if he got smth better, he ran away to his compound and tried to find the PERFECT names. He got lost in so many variations and never really decided. So when the kid was “born” (Tobirama just… took her out of the incubator*) and medics checked her, Madara took her in his hands, started crying and while he was having “A moment” Tobirama wrote her name as Motoko, cuz they needed it for administration and Uchiha clan.

*come to think about it, wouldn’t it fuck up a kid a bit? i mean, children develop under pressure of their mother’s organs and they’re in tight position. maybe test tube kids don’t really like to be wrapped in cloth? as i know ppl do that with newborns to imitate feelings like they’re in the womb.

But this name also can be read as “Festival child” so its kinda cute? Madara def told her that that’s exactly what her name means. No seed 1.

Interesting thing, when Tobirama made the baby, he thought he’d make a boy first, a heir. But something went wrong and the kid developed to be a girl. Tobirama was confused why. But technically, the kid is a boy with XY chromosomes but bc of their development and being a genetic experiment something went wrong and they developed as a female (its a real thing btw).

In the long run it didn’t really matter except that Motoko can’t have her own kids bc of all hormonal weirdness. And I don’t think that Tobirama would figure all of that out. He’d think he made some mistake when choosing gender, but kid was born healthy after all. Ofc when they found out that Motoko can’t have kids Tobirama will blame himself, that he ruined his daughter’s life. But she’s would be ok, she had her little siblings growing up and other clan kids so she’s done babysitting.

Okay for her personality! I think she’s kinda like Shisui? Very happy kid, spoiled rotten by her uncles (Hashirama and Izuna compete who is THE BEST uncle) and Tou-san (Madara). Btw Tobirama refuses to be called Kaa-san or any motherly terms. He’s barely holding a kunai in his pockets when Madara calls him wife.

But she’s also very Uchiha with temper and protectiveness. She was trained to be very much Uchiha cuz she’s the future clan head so her jutsu’s are strongly fire natured. Oh and her secondary nature is eath! She took it from the Senju side :)

Good sensor, but not as strong as her other siblings. Have really good chakra reserves and vicious on the battlefield.

Surprisingly looks really like Madara and Izuna’s mom. Her face is all that. Has soft dark hair and soft features. Considered to be very beautiful among Uchihas.

Oh and as you can see, I wrote that she has the Mangekyo. She got it when she was around 14. She was already really strong and cuz of her family, she got cocky. So, you ask me, who died? I think it’d be her female teammate (maybe from Hatake clan? idk I take suggestions) who she was in love with.

So yeah, she got a reality check. Because she got Mangekyo, Tobirama didn’t want her baby to lose her sight, so he improved his own seals that helped him with his albinism. Seals improve his sight and protect from the sun. So he drew Motoko tattoos on her face, like his. Years later it’d be a new feature of the main line.

But before that, when Motoko is 12 and Tobirama is 29, after 8 years of research (and possibly sealing/killing Black Zetsu in the meantime) he decided to try to make another kid. He still wanted a boy.

And he was successful. Meet Akemori! The Music King

The name was suggested by Hashirama. It means “red forest”. Red eyes, plus he sensed that the kid has a bit of mokuton!

But on the downside, Akemori was born an albino. Tobirama himself was really lucky, cuz he had a strong health and I hc that he still has healing abilities, but not as strong as Hashirama’s. But it still helped him in his childhood.

Not for Akemori tho. He was a sickly child, almost blind and burned on the sun easily. Tobirama had to put seals on him when he was about 3 years old. But even then his eyesight was still poor. Seals can’t fix everything.

Tobirama, once again, feels guilty that he didn’t notice any mistakes when he was creating the child.

And being born almost blind in Uchiha clan of all people wasn’t really nice. Though he is still clan head’s child and has a whole bunch of very powerful adults to protect him. Plus his older sister who loves him very much and wants to protect him from any harm.

But because of health issues Akemori was never really trained in shinobi arts. Well, he was trained (his fathers are literally… them) just that he could protect himself, but no one expected him to go on missions or even become a shinobi at all. Uchiha elders treated him as a potential political marriage pawn (even though Madara and Tobirama would never let them do that). Akemori caught on that and never had the motivation to become a shinobi at all. He was offended and said that he’d NEVER become a shinobi.

Madara was a little mad at that, cuz they’re SHINOBI clan, what the hell. But he shut up the second Tobirama sent him The Look. Tobirama was ok with Akemori’s wishes, like his twin and himself are shinobi by necessity, but they finds more joy in research.

Akemori was trained in Mokuton by Hashirama of course, even though Senju elders bitched about him selling clan secrets to Uchiha. But Hokage does what he wants.

Akemori’s mokuton isn’t as strong as Hashirama’s, plus he never really wanted to fight. But he was good with plants so he joined Itama-oji in his research a lot! Especially since Hashirama is busy with Hokage stuff, Itama was delighted to get a new helper.

Akemori is also a really good sensor because, like Tobirama, he had to compensate his bad eyesight. Basically, Akemori is a very Tobirama’s kid.

Surprisingly, he awakened the Sharingan! He was 6 and some foreign ninja (prob Kumo) thought it’d be cool to steal a kid with the Sharingan. Because of his naturally red eyes Akemori got stolen. Ofc when Tobirama felt his kid out of Konoha bonds, he sounded the alarm in the whole Uchiha clan to check on their kids whereabouts and was first to chase the kidnappers.

Kumo nin were killed by a very mad Tobirama and bc of the stress Akemori awakened the Sharingan. It wasn’t much of a use for him, since he’s not a shinobi. But at least Uchihas acknowledge him as a fellow Uchiha and not just Tobirama’s carbon copy.

(btw noone outside immediate family actually KNOWS where the kids coming from. They don't see any pregnant women in the main line house or anyone in the clan with the same time who gave birth these days. Tobirama himself or god forbid Madara aren't ever seen pregnant. Where the fuck kids are coming from? Do they just spawn in the house or what)

(they basically do spawn)

Sharingan helps Akemori to actually see! At least he could see something and could read. But stll, its not really strong, cuz not trained enough.

Basically Akemori is a perfect mix between Senju and Uchiha with Sharingan and Mokuton, but he was nerfed by albinism.

Being almost blind boy who can navigate only with his sensing, doesn’t gives him much hobbies. Ofc he helps Itama and he studies plants and medicine a lot with him, but he still needs a hobby. Books don’t work for him, any type of handicrafts too cuz he can’t just use Sharingan all the time, his head hurts and sometimes he doesn't want to remember a whole book perfectly. He’s also not very interested in training as a hobby.

So in his tweens while Itama and he were traveling (with Uchiha escort (prob Motoko) just in case) to the near town for some medicine and plants, he noticed (heard) a group of musicians and he fell in love.

Itama immediately bought him an instrument (maybe Biwa?).

And now the second son of Uchiha Madara became a musician! Isn’t it fun. Elders are furious.

Madara was baffled but “You do you, son. When you learn, show us? Oh and maybe you can copy someone else’s playing, but be discreet. They may not like that you’d try to copy their music. Shinobi don’t really like when we copy their jutsus too”

With age he learned to play several instruments (I take suggestions on which ones). Some people even thought that he’s trained to become geisha (he's not, he's just a pretty boy who plays music for fun).

When he grow old enough, Itama started to give him weed for inspiration and to relax. Akemori is prone to quiet anxiety attacks after he was kidnapped.

Okay, the final kid. She was born 4 years later after Akemori.

Nari! The pout queen

Madara finally got to name his kid. Her name means “Calm, harmonic village”. Yeah he decided to name his kid after a village. It's still better than Konohamaru

And she’s the final kid, because Tobirama finally got it and produced a “normal” healthy kid. Plus he's not sure how many kids (3) and students (another 4 and Kagami) he can actually handle.

She has very Uchiha coloring, but Tobirama’s facial features. She also inherited his stare.

She’s the baby of the family, but she grew up slightly strict and serious cuz she stayed a lot with Tobirama, cuz he decided he won’t spend another maternity leave out of the Tower. The first two times were a disaster when he came back.

Tobirama left on maternity leaves just cuz he needed to monitor his kids health, especially Akemori’s. Idk about Konoha maternity leaves, but they should be really short, since well shinobi are needed all year long and they can’t wait for mother-shinobi to spend a whole year on that. Though on the other side, mothers need time to recover or they won’t be able to perform good on their missions (plus they probably have a milk smell lol). Who knows, maybe Tobirama was the one who drafted a law about at least one year maternity leave. He got very popular among kunoichi (can you believe that I just remembered that this word exists)

Nari is really like Izuna, but got her temper under control. Maybe think of teen Kakashi but without dead fathers and angst. But also brat.

Her chakra is water nature and she has 0 affinity with fire. Still she did produce great fireball as their traditions dictated, even though it took her many trials and errors. After that she decided that she hates traditions like that. Got really rebellious in her teens, about 13 and even tried to challenge her sister (25) for the clan head position. She didn’t win ofc and was bitter about it.

Also because her sister and brother both have seals, she always dreamed of the same, cuz as a baby she thought that it’s something special for their family. But Tobirama doesn’t think she needs them cuz her sight is perfect and her skin is pale, but it doesn’t burn like Akemori’s.

It triggered interest for seals in general cuz “FINE if you won’t give me seals, I’ll just make them myself!”

Tobirama was completely okay with it. He always strives to encourage kids when they want to learn something new. So he sicked her at Mito. Though his aunt was quite happy to teach her niece sealing art.

also idk why i write evil near her. she's just a brat. though she has the potential to become Azula ish

And that’s it!

I will write more about them later cuz im tired. I have some other ideas I wanna expand. Like Tobirama introducing his pups to his Hatake aunt (did i tell you that i LOVE Hatakes?),

Oh and fun little sketches close ups for a treat

i love this Hashirama with the kids, ugh he's so father

if you have any questions you can send them to my ask box!

[hangmanbradshaw]

Happy ho-ho-holidays everybody!! As a celebration, I'm going to be posting fic related treats (new chapters, new fics, one shots, story add ons, snippets, etc) each day, a chaotic advent calendar of sorts full of my (and your so voted) favorite things. I hope y'all have as much fun with this as I do. Some of it I have planned, some I'm taking the inspo as it comes so ;) you never know what I'll run with

Day 1: i find myself running home to your sweet nothings (IWTBY Part 3, chap 1) tumblr post

Day 2: sometimes all it takes is a thursday (javy pov one shot: After the mission, Javy watches Jake and Bradley become Jake and Bradley again, and then become more, OR, Jake and Bradley become friends again, and sometimes love is actually easy.)

Day 3: that little farm where every wish comes true chap 5 (hallmark sugar daddy au) tumblr post

Day 4: i talk a big game that i'm scared of losin' (one shot: Jake's a professor ready to jump back into the dating pool, Bradley's a little rough around the edges, and Nat swears they're perfect for each other. She might be right. OR Jake dumps his loser ex and moves to California to be near Nat and Javy. Nat knows a guy, and sometimes opposites attract.)

Day 5: and i feel like my castle's crumbling down (Bradley POV add on to rival princes au. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go.” All it took was nine words for Bradley's heart to rebuild and break again.)

Day 6: santa, can't you hear me chap 2 (Jake Seresin didn't want to live the lyrics of Last Christmas, but in the aftermath of a breakup, he finds himself meeting someone different, someone maybe even special, in the form of a reporter sent to do a profile on him. Bradley Bradshaw wasn't what he expected, but maybe that's a good thing. The rest, well, he can honestly say he never saw it coming.)

Day 7: take me home where we met so many years before (one shot: On the day of Jake and Bradley's wedding, three best friends look back on how they got there. OR the Seresin-Bradshaw guide to laying under the stars through all stages of life) (aka the FGCC's fault lmao love you guys)

Day 8: cuz you know i love the players and you love the game (one shot: Jake's the star quarterback, Bradley's the star baseball captain. They both like playing games, turns out they want the same prize. OR. Bradley dresses as a cheerleader for the team and Jake hates him (except that he totally doesn't))

Day 9: the set it up/football/baseball/fall in love with the city idea that almost was (before I went with IWTBY which I'd been dreaming up for so long)

Day 10: santa, can't you hear me chap 3 finale

[kpop-with-mars]

|Ateez X Trans (Ftm) Reader|

{disclaimer; I dont own any gifs used, this is also inspired by @kittensyoonie and their ateez x trans reader so please check them out as well~.}

{Summary: Ateezs reactions to learning that your trans/you coming out to them.}

{Tags; fluff, angst, hurt comfort, just having a silly old time (mostly),}

{⚠Warnings⚠; I haven't had top surgery or any other forms of gender affirming medical care so some things might be wrong. this also might not relate to every trans person so im sorry T^T. Also look out for misgendering, dead naming, transphobia,}

{ Hi guyss I haven't been writing alot cuz I have so many drafts and i've been working on NONE of them T^T, but don't worry I will post them soon once finished. i've got some goodies in the vault so please look forward to them. alot of these scenarios might be pretty dramatic so sorry ✌ but without farther ado you can read now. Enjoy! maybe? idk its up to you - 🃏}

Hongjoong

You were with him on vlive for your 1 year anniversary of being together so you both read atinys questions and blocked disrespectful ones.

hongjoong attached himself on your arm while you read. "Do you look at other idols?!" you read in shock, hongjoong looked directly at you menacingly. you looked away from him "no~" you answered tucking hair behind your ear.

"You better not" he kissed your cheek making you giggle while hongjoong looked at the other questions until he found one.

"Is y/n transgender?".

hongjoong stared curiously at you "yes, im transgender" as soon as you said that, the viewers and comments spiked upward.

"Im so proud of you for coming out, ill always support you" he gave you a gentle peck on your lips before he turned to the camera.

"Atiny, lets all show our support for y/n okay?. if I see anything that doesn't i won't stand for that, this is a space for everyone so lets make it feel like it" he smiled at the camera when he finished.

You both read more questions and felt thankful for the support from atinys, eventually the camera was turned off and when it did, you and him were getting ready for bed when he pulled you into his chest "I can't believe you came out like that, you didn't feel pressured into it right? " he gently stroked your hair.

"I never thought i could do that, but ever since i met you i've felt more like me" he hummed in response before he put his hand on your cheek lifting up your face "I love you~" he cooed "I love you too" he chuckled at your shyness and he hugged your head to his chest.

Seonghwa

You were at home recovering from your top surgery, you felt like tired didn't wanna move from your bed while you hugged your pillow to your chest, until you finally decided to get up and eat.

But as you walked into the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast you heard the front door unlock. you looked at the door wondering if this is the day you die until it opened to seonghwas smiling face.

"Hi honey" he walked up to you and kissed your forehead before he looked you up and down "Did you just wake up?" "No i woke up an hour and a half ago, i just got out of bed tho" he brought his hands up to your face and turned it from side to side "Did you eat yet?" you shook your head "good thing I got you some food" he handed you the food, which you ate in minutes after seonghwa guided the two of you to the table.

"Are you alright y/n?, you seem tired did you get enough sleep?" he bombarded you with questions while rubbing your back. "I feel fine, maybe just about sluggish" "I know im busy alot, but i just wanna know if something happened while I was away, please?" he moved his hand from your back to your free hand.

You decided to tell him "im sorry I didn't tell you sooner but, I got top surgery" seonghwa looked into your eyes waiting for you to explain "because im transgender" you added.

"That's cool, im glad you're okay" he smiled brightly you responed by giving his lips a gentle peck "I love you" you said making eye contact with him "I love you too, my handsome man".

Yunho

You and yunho were looking at pictures from his childhood while he told the stories behind them, alot of them making you laugh.

He was flipping though more photos when he paused "what?, what is it?" you asked him and he turned his head to you. "I don't think i've seen your baby photos before, have i?" he tilted his head to the side with curiosity in his eyes.

You didn't know what to tell him other then lying "Well i- um" you stammered "You're not embarrassed about them, right?." yunho asked when he noticed how anxious you were getting.

"Yeah, a little bit" you took a deep breath, you pulled out you're phone and showed him a picture of you as a kid. he looked at for a moment then smiled "I don't see any problem with it" yunho said with confusion.

You scrolled through your phone until you found one from prom, and you showed it to yunho. He took in the photo he was seeing before he responed "Oh, oh, you looked..." he had an awkward smile on his face "What" you asked knowing exactly what he was gonna say, until he said something you haven't heard.

"You just don't look happy in that picture, and i don't like it" he put his hand on your back. "I like who you are now because I know that you're happier this way" yunho wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into one of his special hugs.

You would cry but yunho made you too happy to, that's what you loved most about him, and that's what he loves most about you.

Yeosang

You and yeosang started working out together, nothing more sexy then seeing a muscle-y yeosang with an extra shine on his skin.

After more grueling exercise the two of you were taking a break and eating lunch together. "t-that was...alot to say the lest" he wiped sweat from his forehead with a rag and drank his shake.

"Yeah, I think im all worked out for the day" you smiled at him, mean while your sleeveless shirt puffed out and yeosang couldn't help but look "woah-" he admired your toned arms and chest, making you straighten yourself up and cross your arms over your chest.

"It's no secret your totally hot, even with scars" he laughed "Wait what scars??" yeosang made a confused face "the ones on your chest?"

"What- I don't-" "but you do?" he was getting concerned about the way you were suddenly so defensive. "Are you getting self conscious about yourself?-" "no it's just-" you felt you'd just ruined this nice day working out with yeosang by making him upset.

Yeosang came up to you and held your hand "What's wrong honey?" he asked in a sweet but worried tone making your heart sting a bit. but that made you realize this was stupid to keep from him.

"Those scars on my chest..." he looked intently at you "they're from top surgery... im transgender" yeosang pulled you into a hug while he stroked your muscles "that's nice. Im glad you're happy with who you are" he looked at you and gave your lips a quick kiss "and with me~"

You and him laughed about it and continued on with lunch "oh y/n!, can I see your abs again?...please?" his confidence faded to embarrassment when he asked, this caught you off guard but this was at KQ's gym after all, might as well give him some fan service.

"Sure" you lifted up your tank top for him, making him choke on his food for a second. you asking if he's okay until he answered "im fine...but not as fine as you~" you laughed at yeosang's cheesy pick up line and enjoyed the rest of the day with your boyfriend.

San

San was having the best day of his life when you came out wearing some of his clothes, the way his clothes looked so baggy on you made him feel like he had to protect you at any cost.

"Cute~" was the only thing he could say in awe as he stared at you, you gave him a little spin "All of your stuff is so comfy~ it was hard to choose which to wear" you went up to him and threw your arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

He pet your hair lightly "ill let you wear anything of mine if it makes you happy" he stroked your cheek and kissed your forehead. "Are you ready now?" you nodded your head and san began to walk you through the bouncy choreography.

The two of you were having a fun time and laughed whenever you made a mistake, or when he did. he was showing you how to go down for the chorus. "Then we do that for one, two, three, four. got it?" he demonstrated for you while he spoke "yeah I think so" san nodded then played it for you.

You started going down with the beats while san counted. but even though the shirt you were wearing provided some good ventilation, it was going down your chest more and more with each move.

"Oh-" san laughed out and paused the music. you laughed too with him and the shirt was falling off, revealing most of your chest. san noticed this and smirked when he walked toward you then noticed your scars. "What are those?" he pointed to your chest and you looked down.

"Oh" you pulled up your shirt "those are top surgery scars" san nodded then he suddenly got a look of surprise on his face "you're transgender!?" you put a thumbs up and smiled "Ooo that's cool, like pungja right? but just the other way around?" You nodded.

San picked you up in his arms and lifted you "no wonder you have such a feminine body" he teased you and ruffled your hair "That's why I kinda like wearing your clothes, they're good at hiding it when I want to" you giggled he squeezed you tightly.

"Well like I said, ill let you wear anything of mine if it makes you happy~" he kissed your cheek and put you down. "Alright now since you wanna know how, let me show you right now~".

Mingi

Mingi had took you with him and the members while touring around, he really needed cuddles after performing his heart out and you were his stress reliever.

He walked into the hotel room and you were on your phone and he went straight to the shower after greeting you, having been covered in sweat while you waited quietly for him on the bed.

He came out of the bathroom with his pajamas on and his hair wet. you opened your arms out to him "come here princess~" you understood how tired he was and he flopped down on your side, his head on your shoulder as his hands moved around your body.

He was obviously much taller then you but he felt so small hugging your body. "I love you~" you told him and kissed his forehead while your hand held the back of his head. "I love-" mingi froze when his hand reached a small long bump on your chest, his sleepy eyes widened a bit.

You chuckled lightly at his reaction and you held his cheeks "those are just scars. im transgender, I used to be a woman so I got surgery to get a flat chest" you explained and he nodded "That's cool~ are you happy?" he asked in a deep sleepy voice. "Of course I am. im even more happy with myself after I met you~" you kissed him lightly on the lips.

He gave you his gummy smile and he cuddled you closer to your body, laying his head against your collarbone. you turned your body to him and wrapped your arms around his head and back.

"I love you" his voice was muffled against your chest. "I love you too princess~" he smiled and you turned the lamp off and the two of you fell asleep. your princess finally getting the sleep he needed while knowing you're happy.

Wooyoung

"Come on babe!, let's go to the beach-each what they gonna say~" you heard him sing from down the hall while you were getting ready. you and wooyoung decided to go on a beach date when he had a break from promoting, and now that day was here.

You hurriedly searched for a swim shirt of any kind but to your dismay you couldn't find one. "im coming!" you threw on a shirt and run out the door with wooyoung.

At the beach you and wooyoung ate lunch that the two of you prepared together, after wooyoung finished he threw his shirt off and on your towels and booked it to the water, "Come on y/n!, let's cool off!" He yelled for you when he was in the water.

You grimaced nervously and walked over to the shore, you sat down and brought your legs to your chest. you felt the water lightly brush your feet. wooyoung raised his eyebrow at you "is something wrong babe?" he was confused by your actions.

"N-No.." you denied, but you knew wooyoung would keep pressing you til you dropped dead so you stood up and took your shirt off. you stepped into the water near wooyoung.

"See~, its not so-" he noticed your scars. "Babe?!, did something attack you in the water??. Is that why you were nervous?" he quickly stepped up to you and took your hands.

You chuckled lightly "No... im just transgender" you smile feeling your unease drip away. "Oh, well of course that's alright dummy" he hit your shoulder lightly. "I love you~" he said in a cheesy tone. "I love you too~"

He pecked your lips "I've never actually been to the beach without a shirt on sense surgery, i just get kinda nervous you know?" you admitted while the two of you were in calif deep in the water.

He smiled sweetly "I understand but lets not worry~. I promised to give you some of my confidence when we started dating..." he took a short pause to look in your eyes before he gave you a big smile "so come on lets go have fun!" He dragged you further into the water while the two of you laughed.

Jongho

A sudden knock interrupted your thoughts while in a cracked voice you said "Come in". the door opened to jongho's handsome face making you straighten up and try to make it look like you weren't crying.

"I was told you weren't feeling alright" he explained himself and sat next to you giving you a kiss on the cheek. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he looked at you with pleading eyes.

He held your hand in his squeezing it gently until you gave in and started tearing up again, "If -i was different back when I was younger, would you still love me?" he stayed silent allowing you to continue. "I know I shouldn't care what people think, but i don't feel like ill be- anything to anyone, really. I hate how people looked at me---and still look at me---especially because I knew what they were thinking"

you took in some more fresh air and wiped some tears before jongho spoke "Why would people ever judge you?". you responded "because I didn't want to be what they wanted" he thought on that for a moment before he asked another "What did they want you to be?" his voice held nothing gentleness and compassion, instantly you felt safer.

"A girl they could control" you put your face on his shoulder and lightly sobbed, jongho wrapped his arms around you and helped control your breathing. he held you in his warm chest for awhile, until you pulled away.

"You don't have to deal with this alone, okay?... I'm sorry you didn't feel safe telling me before but," he paused for a minute and held out his pinky "Let's get through this together now, promise" you let out a light chuckle and interlocked pinkies with him.

His arms snaked around you while you held him tightly hoping to never release, jongho turned your head to him and he gave you a kiss you'd been dieing to get. his lips fit onto yours like a puzzle piece, and like a puzzle you were complete.

{Hi guyss~, I sadly couldn't finish my hongjoong x trans reader one shot I was writing for his birthday so ill be working on it and ill post it when its done or just work on some other fics, speaking of them ill probably do some sort of poll or vote for these other fics I really wanna write so that I know what y'all will wanna see next~~. I got inspired by @kittensyoonie I read their ateez x trans reader thing and I was inspired by them to write this. So thank you to them and also read theirs!. - 🃏}

[lilacs-stash]

genq cuz I’m confused. why do u think ii15/act 1 made suitcases and baseballs dynamic weird

Okay so in EP14 of s2 they'd already started healing. They talked about stuff and were getting better. It seemed like Baseball really got what happened. “You're here, you're listing. So, thanks.”

But in EP15 for some reason Suitcase is. Mad at BB? For how he handled eliminating Test tube? And they end the episode on worse terms then they started it on.

The way EP15 is written it feels like it completely forgot they already starting talking things through. It's a step back. All they needed to do was talk about how their relationships with Nickel effected their own.

Now characters getting worse before they get better isn't a bad thing just look at Balloon & Nickel last season. The problem is this conflict is incredibly pointless, and feels forced/mildly ooc. What purpose does it serve?

I thought before act 1 maybe it existed so that Baseball and Nickel could learn that they had a toxic relationship at the same time, to avoid heavy conflict with Nickel. That'd make enough sense, his arc is mostly over don't want to give him to many problems.

But no it seems like Nickel knows it already and then he dies 👍 so all that is thrown out.

And you might be thinking "Well Suitcase needed to be upset with Baseball to choose Knife" but no she didn't. Did Balloon need to be mad at Nickel to vote him out in iii17? Nope they literally hugged.

Suitcase could've voted BB out because she didn't want to compete with him, trying to avoid causing problems for their healing relationship. Or maybe because the game was hurting him and she didn't want him to be stuck here anymore. Even a mix of both could work.

And it can't be "Oh they both still needed to have problems in act 1!" cuz fixing your relationship with one person doesn't fix all your life problems. Behold! Balloon post iii16, who despite having a healthy loving relationship with Nickel now still has one million insecurities

EP15 causes conflict between a healing relationship and then act 1 doesn't do anything with that conflict. BB & Suitcase's relationship isn't resolved yet but it's being put on the back burner, which is extremely frustrating. Act 1 would've worked at lot better if BB & Suitcase got closure, then it wouldn't feel like an interruption. Just a natural switch of focus.

[let-me-be-an-egg-toast]

redesigns your PLA (irida, ingo, arezu)

genuinely sorry to arezu fans

Why I redesigned them/unhinged angry misspelling rant/commentary (dont read further/skip this post if u don't wanna see my absolutely disrespectfully takes fr)

Read all of this in a joking and unserious manner, or basically take with a grain of salt

Now before I start this absolute rage rant, I shall say

GAME FREAK.

GAME

FREAK

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST

WHO THE FUCK WAS YOUR CHARACTER DESIGNER FOR PLA???

DID YALL JUST GIVE UP ON MOST OF THE CHARACTERS?? BECAUSE YALL RLLY JUST SLAPPED AN OBI BELT, HOODIE, AND/OR KIMONO TOP PART ON CHARACTERS AND CALLED IT A FUCKING DAY

ONLY A FEW MADE IT OUT ALIVE, and no VOLO WASNT ONE OF THEM

CHSRACTER DESIGNS R LITERALLY SUPPOSED TO COMMUNICATE TO US HOW OUR CHARACTER IS LIKE + THE WORLD AROUND THEM

YOU ALREADY FUCKED THE LATTER PART UP BECAUSE 1800s

EIGHT 👏 TEEN 👏 HUNDREDS 👏

And then look at what clothing we have.

Time to officially get into the designs, part 1.

Irida

.

..

WOW. REALLY? REALLY??? WELL I DDINT FUCKING KNOW THAT. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I WAS BUSY THIKING IRIDA'S APPEARANCE MEANT SHE WAS IN WARMER AREAS

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST WITH THAT HOT PINK, BLUE TUBE BRACE/ANKLETS, AND SHORTS I WOULDVE THOUGHT SHE WAS A SUMMER GIRL FROM MODERN TIMES

THE BELT DIDNT EVEN SAVE HER ASS, IT MADE HER A LITTLE UNIQUE BUT IT DIDNT SAVE HER ASS

so I made her iridescent

Like a pearl, y'know? Cuz....pearl clan...pearl clan leader...

her pink is gonna be a little more desaturated + faded, also some lighter pink, some hints of purple, also the fact white and silver is now gonna dominate and her hair is platinum blonde

I made her side hairs spiky to mimic glaceon's ear things, also made irida's headdress a spiky thing cuz icicles yk and the bracelets are now thinner and metal

Also FUR. FUR. INSULATION.

I want irida to willingly wear some hypothermia-inducing clothes because maybe she wants to truly feel the cold or some shit but ofc have insulation in order to tell the audience she belongs in cooler climates YK YK???

I do think as a clan leader who's literally living near the mountaintops and cold areas she deserves to at least have some calloused hands or scars

I tried to keep her young look, but because I'm absolutely shit at drawing anything young, she looks a bit older, so sorry folks. Ik the looking older thing might be good but I thought it was interesting if I kept her youth to contrast her personality and role

Also don't mind that weird thing on her obi belt it's gonna be where the symbol of the Pearl Clan is now

me when I think I've finally calmed down, but my rage gets back up, because I have no chill

SCREAMS

DONT YOU LOVE HOW THE MOST IRONIC THING EVER IS THAT THE PIECES OF CLOTHING FROM THE MODERN ERA MAKING THE LOOK OLD FITTING BUT THE CLOTHES OF THE PAST MAKES IT LOOK MODERN?

CRYING

THEY GAVE MY BOY A GLORIFIED HOODIE AND CALLED IT A DAY

WHAT IS BRO DOING WITH SLACKS AND DRESS SHOES IN THE FREAKING MOUNTAINS???

THAT SHITS GONNA RIP UP/SCRATCH IMMEDIATELY BRO

I GET YOURE CONNECTED TO THESE PIECES OF CLOTHING BUT DEAR ARCEUS INGO HOLY SHIT

sighs

so I gave him an actual kimono which he tied up the ends like what irida did, and gave him more fitting clothing

that's for the mountains

Also he wears the belt outside of his coat because I personally think he does NOT want to go anywhere WITHOUT his coat no matter how hot it is so he ties to him using the belt

He only has fur cuffs because I also think he didn't let anyone massively change his coat because ofc it's precious to him

Also I made the white parts of his coat dirtier and grey because I tried putting fur on it and it looked like shit

Something something the white of emmet being forgotten and lost and the new white of ingo's design being given by the pearl clan

out of the three he's actually the better design, which isn't really a high bar to pass but still, that shit underclothing needed to GO

...

Do you ever just

Look at a character

And you immediately know it's a "discreetly sexualized" design?

Yeah

And this was before I saw the character concept sheet

OH MY GOD BRUH

JUST A GLORIFIED HOODIE AND LEGGINGS AND MODERN ASS BOOTS

SHE COULD FIT IN THE MODERN WORLD AND YOU WOULD HAVE NO IDEA

SAY IM WRONG - SAY IM FUCKING WRONG

GAME FREAK

GAME 👏 FREAK 👏

THE FUCKING 1800S MY GUY

and the fact I didn't even get anything about her actual personality from her looks? Like she looks smug?? AND THEN I FIND OUT ABOUT WHAT SHES ACTUALLY LIKE??

IDC IF U WANTED A TWIST GAME FREAK (SINCE U LOVE THOSE SO MUCH) DO IT RIGHT

MAKE HER LOOK CONFIDENT SMUG, NOT SLIGHTLY SULTRY SMUG

HONESTLY IDC IF SHES KINDA DISCREETLY SEXUALIZED, SHES SUPPOSED TO BE CANONICALLY ATTRACTIVE AFTER ALL - DO IT RIGHT

MAKE HER LOOK LIKE SHES FROM THE OLDEN TIMES, NOT MODERN ERA

SIGHS

Hayst (filipino)

ik I posed her like shit but basically

I kept the mars hair, but added more tufts to try and connect her to liligant

Her red hair is also gonna contrast the green tones of her new clothing (the symbol is now at the back), and she's gonna be a little more tomboyish, and she's gonna look all confident smirk to cover up how she actually feels

Anyways that's it I just might re-pose Arezu later but if you made it this far have a pinap berry for being able to go through my pathetic rant

THANKS FOR READING!

[skznccmlee]

OKAYYYYY I FINALLY HAVE THE TIME FOR START WRITING THIS-

As you guys could realize, TODAY WAS SOMETHING-

My ler's getting more of a menace with everyday that passes I might not make it through this year I would die of how flustered I am

ANYWAY-

Before starting: a little context😻

Today's my mom's bd, so my dad, brother and I took her to lunch

School normally ends at 1:40pm, but yesterday and today it ended 12:30pm bc of the project and stuff

Which is perfect cuz I got to go have lunch with my mom for her bd

On Fridays, me and Cloud stay til 4 bc of piano, but I knew I couldn't make it in time (piano starts at 2pm), but I was going to do my best to get there even if it was just 10 minutes

AND I ARRIVED

AT 3:15😻

AND IN THAT EXACT MOMENT THE TEACHER SAID BREAK TIME

So everyone got out of the classroom (except Cloud and I as always)

HERE IS WHEN IT ALL BEGINS

I was complaining about some stuff which was really stupid and I know it I just can't help it, AND I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER EXACTLY HOW OR IN WHICH MOMENT BUT NEXT THING I REMEMBER WAS ME BEING WRECKED LIKE REALLY BADLY???????

Today my sides got a lot of attention which is GREAT cuz I've been wanting to be tickled there since like... Yes, the past three weeks

IT WAS PERFECT AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK FOR IT

The tickling was mainly on my torso, but ofc my neck too cuz we've learned she loves to tickle me there, and CHANGING between soft and a bit more like rough, I LOVE THAT SO MUCH I'VE UNLOCKED A NEW FORM OF TICKLING AND I WANNA KEEP IT

Now FOR THE TEASES-

She was like NORMALLY TALKING TO ME AS IF SHE WASN'T WRECKING ME?????

And I know I've said before that I don't like that, my opinion on it is still the same

BUUUT, she WAS acting as if she knew what she was doing, just that talking normally

So I'll take it

SHE ASKED ME IF I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN SHE JUST TALKED NORMALLY OR WHEN SHE TEASES ME

LIKE IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION????? (obviously the second option, I think we all knew it AND SHE DID AS WELL)

THEN IT WAS ALL LIKE TICKLE MONSTER STUFF THAT MY MIND DOESN'T REMEMBER CUZ I WASN'T REALLY THINKING AT THAT MOMENT YK

But I can tell you, it was flustering as hell

THEN

THE WIND

CLOSED

THE

FUCKING

DOOR

AND SHE WENT

"You know what that means? You're alone with the tickle monster~" AND THEN PROCEEDED TO TICKLE ME AGAIN

... How do I explain you guys HOW BAD THAT TEASE GETS ME?????????

It's officially scaling on my ranking of teases

Then it happened something that was so cute of her and I LOVE HER

She stopped

Rubbed my back

WHILE PRAISING????????

Then she just went "I'm sorry I'm not good with this aftercare thing" JSNMJXNWNFN😭😭😭

She just needs a little practice, but it felt so good regardless, I'm feeling so loved<33

THEN

It doesn't end here people

I TOLD YOU THIS WAS GOING TO BE LONG-

Then I just did what I do whenever I get flustered (try to distract myself)

SO I just started telling her something that happened to me in the restaurant

...

And guys

She

Started to tickle me

While talking

AND TOLD ME TO KEEP TALKING??????

I HAD TO TALK WHILE TICKLED IT IS SO INCREDIBLY FLUSTERING JUST LIKE EVERYTHING RELATED TO THIS TOPIC

Then the tickling stopped (sadly)

BUT NOT THIS RANT GUYS

Turns out I had texted my other amazing ler (obviously my baby @itzsana-kiddingmenow), AND I WAS ANSWERING HER

AND CLOUD TOOK MY PHONE AND TEXTED HER???????

AND THEN POSTED THAT POST YOU KNOW WHICH ONE-

Y'ALL I WAS D Y I N G, FOR REAL

AND IT DOESN'T END HERE-

I promise we're almost at the end-

When the class was over, we went upstairs to take the pianos to the lab (as always, yk)

And when we were in the stairs

SHE STARTED POKING ME LIKE A LOT-

Then we went downstairs and turns out my babe had answered so I had to chase Cloud cuz she had my phone AND I WANTED TO SEE TOO-

Then we saw it and yes

And then she had to go

AND before actually ending this, I wanna make this part an appreciation... Part of post for my ler cuz a bit after she posted that post and texted to Sana, we were about to start again the class and she turned to me and asked me "But did I overstepped? I should have better not do that?"

I can't explain how much I wanted to hug her for like forever and cry and tell her she's the best and she has never overstepped cuz she always makes sure I'm fine with what she's doing/did/will do, I love her so much she's definitely the best)

Cloud, when you see this, that you for all that, you're a great ler and friend I'm just not able to say it in person, Ilysm

NOW that was FINALLY all for Ahhie's Weekly Tickle Rant Of Fridays of today, I want y'all to look at the difference between today and the last week- Totally different

Thank you for reading all this if you did-

[thixms]

okay the way this all has come full circle. after almost exactly 7 years i finally finished airplanes. some ppl might remember my posts screaming about it (they sometimes still get likes i think lmao) so yea no i was like that deep into it and was like with that shit almost from day 1. crazy to see on tiktok that ppl are still talking about it and some ppl are only now getting into teen wolf/thiam and reading that fic. like everyone in the thiam fandom knows this fic is THE thiam fic. like i knew and know the fic is good but crazy to see that the fic i loved sm is still getting its recognition. i feel kinda like i'm "entitled" to say i was from day 1 !!! i knew it was gonna be good even there when not that many were around !! lmaoo. i only "abandoned" it cuz my lack of attention as a teenager threw me from one hyperfixation/fandom to another. plus i got to experience actual life stuff and kinda abandoned my roots.. IT DOESNT MEAN THE FIC WASNT GOOD ENOUGH OKAY

but OKAY what i wanted to say is how fucking goood this fic is. yk it has to be good if i literally went back after "abandoning" it for 7 years and finish reading it. literally no fic in any fandom has managed to do that for me. and i still enjoyed it so so much! that's how you know the fic is good. i reread it and still laughed so fucking much like tf how is it possible for a fic to be so entertaining and good? it makes fucking sense why. it's timeless, it's a masterpiece. istg, i'd almost say it's canon now or like at least some of its thiam headcannons def are canon to me. like i'm not sure if airplanes came up w the idea that theo likes biology or if it was actually mentioned in teen wolf?? that's how good the characterization of thiam was like i really am getting canon and airplanes canon mixed up lmao. @thiamfresh i think you might know by now what kind of a cultural reset you created for the thiam fandom but i just wanted you to read and know it again for sure. i don't even know if u still use tumblr.. but i think i saw some time ago you posting about seeing some hate being written about airplanes and you feeling insecure about it. and i just wanted to say you really shouldn't pay attention to it!! i hope this long ass rant post will show you how good and loved this fic is. it's still getting mentioned so so often in the fandom. like it's some kind of bible or like manual to thiam as the ship lmaoo. so yea, me loving this fic as a somewhat developed adult and someone a bit more removed from the fandom defenitely a testemant to how good it is.

okay now i gotta rant about my life tho..

because jesus, i also only realized now that it was one of the first few fics i read on ao3 (i was a wattpad reader before, don't shame me pls, we all had to come from somewhere). but yea no, crazy that thiam was literally the start of me solely reading fics on ao3, as well as LITERALLY CREATING THIS TUMBLR BLOG??? HELLO?? IT'S LITERALLY CALLED THIXMS LMAO. it's crazy that it's been 7 years like wdym 7??? that's fucking long ago. i'm not even that old??? (i'm feeling really old rn) like how is my thiam phase already 7 years ago (and literally why did it come back after literal 7 years lmao). i mean, my teen wolf stan (as well as my thiam stan) kinda already resurfaced last year with the release of that trashy ahh movie about which we're not gonna talk about. but yea no there i failed to commit and finish the fic and didn't get deep into the fandom enough. life happened tbh. but yea no 2023 and 2024 (especially 2024) crazy ass years. the way i experienced so much (good) real life shit, literally lived out my (childhood/teenage) dreams but also fell back into my weird niche interests??? like how tf did i have time for that??? (my sleep schedules hella fucked. it's fucked from every direction by the amount of unresolved jetlags i have).

what i'm trying to say is: 14yo me reading airplanes would never believe what 21 yo me will experience and be able to do but also won't believe i'm still reading the same fic (no i would, i really thought i was soo deep into this thiam shit that i'd still be obsessed even when i'm an adult and i wasn't wrong lmao). makes sense why i feel like time hasn't moved on and i'm still a teenager. i'm literally doing the same thing as 14yo me. laying in bed ranting on tumblr about thiam.. jeeez, it should be embarrassing ngl.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies!

Anonymous asked:

I didn't realize it was possible to filter without tags. Thank you!

No problem, Anon! I’m glad we could help. Have a nice day!

Anonymous asked:

Hnnng…booba…

(this is about this art)

Hehe yeah…

I was looking at my first sketches of fem!Azul recently, and wow I draw her boobs bigger and bigger every single time. She wasn’t supposed to be this big… but alas.

Anonymous asked:

I feel like 2 bottoms and 1 top is more fun if the top has an extra dick situation going on, like 2 tops 1 bottom is great because humans come with AT LEAST two holes perfect for taking dick, and sometimes more 😌✨ so basically Ortho is the master dom of them all, but like, we already knew this ♥️

First of all, YES, this is usually our reasoning as well for preferring 2 tops 1 bottom, it’s just easier to navigate the holes and all lol But also you made such a good point??  Ortho absolutely would be able to have multiple of those, as many as he needs in fact! And also have a lot of different kinds of stimulation… wow, that’s OP. Ortho, your niichan created an unstoppable master dom…

Anonymous asked:

I just saw the Jellyfish post and the image of Silver bowing and pleading for others to golden shower him, so good

Lillia would love this, he trained his son so well, and he will of course give his cute son his pee as a treat

(this is about this post)

You imagined it!! I’m so happy, Anon. But also, sorry for that… (but also, you are welcome)

Poor Silver doesn’t even realise how it looks, oof… Lilia would almost pass away out of the sheer excitement and pride he felt at that moment.

Anonymous asked:

Kalim and idia would be a funny ship because idia could not handle how happy and positive Kalim is during the entire time they do it including aftercare

Awww, don’t be silly, Idia, what else should he do while doing it, cry?

Facts, Anon. Absolute facts. Kalim always behaves like this is the best moment of his life and it’s all about how awesome it is for him to be with Idia and to do what they are doing right now!!! How does one even react to that?..

But also I’m not sure if Kalim knows how to do aftercare... He is very used to just falling asleep afterwards and then suddenly waking up after a nap to continue the cuddles. Idia would suffer either way because he would try to carefully run away while Kalim is asleep… instantly waking him up and prompting him to start cuddling him with the widest smile possible!

Anonymous asked:

Hey Ryu! Hope you're having a nice day.

Real quick, what would Ortho do if he was replacing?

(I was doing some stupid shit on c.ai and it just popped into my head.)

What if Idia had a lover (you can use Azul or Lilia for this cuz we ship it. Or any other top that fits this scenario) and they died so Idia, just like he did with Ortho, tried to bring them back to life? Bc of this he became so possessive in an unhealthy way over them, shutting away the world like he did before, but that includes Ortho.

Hi Anon! I hope you’re having a nice day too :)

Ohh, interesting; honestly, it kind of sounds like an anxiety that Ortho could have. Similarly to how he usually treats Idia being in a relationship with someone: he is very happy, excited and supportive, but also very jealous because he actually really doesn’t want to share Idia with anyone.

In a way, I think he could make peace with Idia being with someone by thinking that what they have with Idia is special and totally different from what Idia and his boyfriend have. So if Idia’s boyfriend suddenly passes away, and Idia grief pushes him to shut away the world and focus on recreating that person, Ortho would feel horrible on many levels: both because of Idia pushing him away and because of Idia doing for that person something that was supposed to be special and their thing. And even though Ortho would recognise that Idia is hurting, and it’s probably selfish of him to be so against it, he might even try to act supportive, like “isn’t it cool, there will be the second one like me”, but he would probably hate that thing. I don’t know, I feel like it would end badly lol

Anonymous asked:

do you have any thoughts/ideas about a shroudswap au, in which ortho lived and it was idia who died? how do you think a human ortho like that would turn out?

Oof, I wonder if he would be better or much worse than Idia… I feel like Idia tortures himself for the most part (mentally), but with Ortho, even though he would still torture himself because of guilt, could also be more of a danger to others. At least because he is less secluded and more sociable in general.

Hmmm.

Ortho was younger than Idia when the incident happened + he isn’t as insanely skilled as him, so I don’t think he would be able to build a robot and write an AI as fast as Idia (even for Idia it took a couple of years), but he would still try to do it. I think it would be his work-in-progress at the age of 16; he would just have a bunch of junk on his floor + an android torso with a silicon face that doesn’t move, because it’s not done yet. Ortho would still talk to it a lot.

I think Ortho would combat his grief and guilt by thinking that it’s up to him to honour Idia’s legacy, and he’ll talk about it a lot: about how he tries his best to be a good technomagician and a mechanic, and he would indeed be the best at his dorm, but not quite as good as Idia would’ve been in Ortho’s head.

Ortho would almost look like a normal guy, somewhat similar to Ace in the way he acts at times, but there would always be something uncanny about him because he is never 100% genuine and his heart is clearly closed from others. He would be the type to say “what? I’m friends with everyone” but have zero people whom he actually trusts. He prefers to talk to his half-built robot-brother more anyways.

Now, what I mean when I say that he is more likely to be dangerous is that while Idia is in terrible shape and his coping mechanisms aren’t the best, Ortho would bottle up his emotions more, as if he can’t allow himself to grieve properly because it is his fault. It would become very clear that he is still not over it once something triggers him and he becomes super resentful towards everyone and everything that isn’t Idia, or rather an idea of Idia in his head that gets more vague with every single day because he gets older, and he hates himself for “losing” him that way too. I think Ortho could express this frustration by being destructive because he would be in a very bad mental space…

Wow that turned dark lol

Anonymous asked:

I mean, that can be incorporated too!

My idea is that Azul is surrounded by a faceless mob and he is forced to sign contract after contract. None of them are for his benefit, though, they are basically trading away any and all of his skills and talents while the crowd laughs at him. After a few times, the contracts start ripping away body parts that correspond to his talents (I.e. singing would be his vocal cords, swimming would be his tentacles/legs, etc.) until there’s barely anything left of him. Whatever is left is then served up as delicious takoyaki.

I swear I do like Azul.

(this is about Azul’s danganronpa-style execution)

Wow, that sounds perfect, Anon. destroyed by the very thing that empowered him in the first place and reduced to what the most helpless form there is available to him: an actual snack.

I would love to see it.

Anonymous asked:

Did you watch the lyric video for No Me Diga or this one: https://youtu.be/UrFH772ytzM?si=yjd1dMNYhAPp6Ybf because the linked version makes the song worse with the visuals 😂😂😂😂😂

Yep, I watched this one lol

[hath-e]

So now that I've actually watched 10 anime I wanted to rank them from best to worst

1. MSG: the Witch from Mercury; I have not seen any other Gundam show but I don't think this one is leaving #1 spot ever, and Bandai were cowards and homophobic for not showing us either a kiss or the wedding even though they got married, also I'm so mad that I episode 11 during the hug they didn't even say "I love you". The robots became the least interesting part of the robot show (8th I watched)

2. Bocchi the Rock!; probably what I want most anime to be, can't wait for the movie('s), this, G-Witch and Your Name might as well both be #1, also I want a cute Bocchi plush but I can't find one that's affordable without a high delivery :< (7th I watched)

3. Your Name; A movie that I found on a trans subreddit about a year ago, I didn't think it'd be as good as it was or that it'd affect me as much as it did, but I was left in tears when the credits came on, the story went somewhere completely than I thought it would, 10/10. also tied for first place, it deserves to be watched in a movie theater so much (10th I watched)

4. Cowboy Bebop; twink and his bear friend go on space adventures oh and the twink has his own shadow the hedgehog (6th one I watched)

5. BNA: Brand New Animal; the one of 2 studio Trigger show I've seen but from what I've read and heard they have a pretty mid reputation, I really liked it tho, I watched it around the time I came out and it's a pretty good trans allegory (still feel a tad weird about the ending) (4th one I watched)

6. Neon Genesis Evangelion (and the 1st movie); (don't)Get in the robot Shinji, I had been interested in it a bunch, big robots and all that, but only just got to it. The self perpetuating loop of abuse and trauma that Shinji and everyone gets put through because Genduo can't get over the death of his wife is horrible and I can't think of a more despicable antagonist than him, the movie was so fucked up. I still struggle to get what Seele was supposed to represent. I loved every scene where the Eva's get shown as demons, those looked real cool (9th I watched) (watched it entirely cuz of Signalis)

7. Cyberpunk Edgerunners; watched this before I played the game, the abuse that David went through combined with the end that I miss interpreted put me a bit off and I missed the point, but I got it after a rewatch (3rd one I watched)

8. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure; now that I've grown as a person I can safely say that it deserved to drift from spot 1, part 4 is still my fave. And it's still really really good in spite of how low it is (1st I watched)

9. Guilty Gear Xrd & Strive story mode; I am both counting and lumping them together, I liked the oversized Smurf with a gun, also Elphelt bby girl, still would've preferred an actual game tho(5th one I watched)

100000000000. Future Diary; I've watch this in a trade to get someone else to watch JoJo's, they came out better off with that deal, I am also no longer friends with that person (not because of the show but it's funny to mention) (2nd I watched) I still think it's missing some zeros, just add however many you believe it needs

Honorable mentions:

- Signalis; I know it's not an anime but it's anime adjacent and it's the best story I've ever played through, I don't even like horror games or gore at all that much but I will 100% this game and get all the endings, I wish I could talk about it more but spoiling ANYTHING about it feels wrong and making posts where half the words are censored just so fans get it isn't gonna work

- Pokemon; I loved the XYZ and B&W runs but I haven't watched it all and only remember catching it on TV

-Scott Pilgrim takes off, I watched the first few episodes, I don't particularly care for it, but it looks pretty good

Dishonorable mentions:

- Attack on Titan; I've had a run in with the series back when season 1 came out, back when I thought gore was cool, now I have negative interest in the series, I literally couldn't care less and I'm only putting it here to be fair

Conclusion:

After the Witch from Mercury and Evangelion, I don't care for big robots as much as I used to.

Oh and I'm watching some more soon-ish gimme recommendations

[fivekrystalpetals]

Not me making the umpteenth post about this very panel, but, bc I have only so much to go by here ;_; this panel has some funny underlying subtext because at the first glance, this seems like a very normal, very formal conversation between two people who are more or less strangers but--

1.] Break knows her name now?

interesting that Break addresses her as Miss Lottie here, and not little miss (flirty (derogatory)) like in the Sablier arc.

so, my guess is that he really did not know her name then, because he simply followed Oz (eye of the cyclone lmao) hoping to find some Baskervilles targeting him as they did in the Lutwidge. In fact, Oz himself wanted to do the same, put himself out there as bait for the Baskervilles before deciding to venture into Sablier.

(Funny how Break shoots down Oz's idea of meeting the Baskervilles with the excuse that they might be following absolute orders and hence, useless to negotiate with. and then..... proceeds to do the same lol)

[more under the cut cuz I can't shut up about these two lol]

Also, in the same chapter, Oz lets slip Zwei's name in their conversation which Break silently registers--

all in all, the most names among the Baskervilles he would have known by the time of Sablier arc is Zwei's.

meaning, after returning from his meet-cute meeting with Lottie, he must have set about trying to find out her name. Since they don't have internet in those times, only way to get information is to manually dig around.

but... of course, that is not possible just like that, right? Break cannot ask around a Baskerville's name without raising a bunch of questions, facing trouble from the Pandora (which is why he even hid the Intention's desire from them), ntm, nobody even knew any of the Baskervilles, much less their names.

Well, nobody except Oz. Oz did get to meet the Baskervilles and see and hear them interacting. during which time, Fang and Doug did call out Lottie's name a bunch of times. so obvs Oz should know her name. however, it's up in the air whether he would remember, rather want to remember the name of the girl who stomped all over his chest?

so this means Break really went that extra mile to manipulate this information out of Oz without rousing his suspicions. Oz is too smart for his own good, mind you. The slightest misstep, he is going to figure out what Break was planning:

and from this panel, it appears he didn't want anyone (including Oz and Gil) to know what he had been planning with the Baskervilles. and now even we, the readers, will never know lol

He must have asked Oz to recount his experiences from Lutwidge for him again and got him to slip up her name, the way Oz did for Zwei. Sneaky, so sneaky!

sooooo, while everyone was busy putting together two and two about the Tragedy of Sablier and whatnot, Break here was trying to squeeze out the name of the girl he met in a dungeon someday before he went fully blind (he was fated to see her just once, he can never see her again.) lmaooo what kind of shoujo manga plot was he playing out here?

2.] Lottie expected to meet him again?

This is a little more obvious but funny (to me) nevertheless. when Break puts his sword at her throat, Lottie doesn't even blink or get startled, merely sighs and goes: oh yeah I was wondering why the hell you didn't show up?

But for some reason I felt you'd show your face here.

So, I don't think she means Break making an appearance at Yura's party. That's way too obvious. Rainsworths, and by extension, Break their important valet, are invited and are going to be present here.

No, this means she had a feeling Break would slip out of there and come out here to have a tête-à-tête with her which is just... ??? How was she so sure? Was she looking forward to it? Waiting for him to write her a letter to her hiding place in Sablier or something? Waiting for him to come there just as her lion knocked down Yura? She wasn't in the least fazed! just goes, oh yeah I was waiting for you >_>

Because logically, Break surely went radio silent the whole of the month(?), right? Owing to his untimely blindness, whatever plans he might have had for her also must have cut off. Unless he got help from another person which he didn't seem to want, esp. not in this case, which, for whatever reason, he wanted to keep a complete secret. And in spite of this radio silence, Lottie doesn't think he was bluffing or stood her up at Sablier. She actually seems quite prepared to meet him here? I wonder how many times she turned the scenario over and over in her mind since they met and parted, and got more irritated what the hell did he mean and if he did mean something, why can't he contact her again?

because, the very first thing she demands of him is an explanation of what he meant by his words at Sablier

and surprisingly, this.... surprises him? at least enough to sheathe his sword and start talking properly to her??? (a huge thing bc Break never gives a straight answer; he is always talking in riddles and annoying everyone on purpose)

[n4talia-chaparro]

<< 1 || next (2) >>

Yeah hello I'm glad I had the opportunity to finish this garbage for once so hopefully I don't screw this up-

Reminder: I will make a next post for Cap cuz I don't wanna make it very long so-

Yippee but first...👇🏻 (1/2??)

Contains- Blood/gore (?), mention of murder (?), abuse???, cringe AU, poor grammar, etc.

🫀 || ꒷꒦︶🩸︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶🩸︶꒷꒦ || 🫀

₊˚꒰🫁⸝⸝︰ 𝐆𝐏!𝐊𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐩 ┆ ⤿ 🧠 ⌗

✧ ┊• uhh I don't know what to put but he's a silly little bastard.

✧ ┊• He may be 5'8 or almost the same height as the original Krupp. Some of the students say he's bigger than a damn tree but that's not the case. Just a bit bigger or shorter compared to Mr. Meaner/Kenny and Mr. Ree/Toilette (?)

✧ ┊• In case anyone forgot, Krupp in this AU is a manipulative and aggressive person. At first, he might be neutral but eventually, he will slowly show his real colors. No matter what the victim does or says, Krupp will do anything to manipulate, gaslight, and make the victim miserable. Even if he seems "nice" or not, he shouldn't be trusted by a student or staff (especially if they are new to the school)

✧ ┊•His face can change when he's mad (well also snap and get more aggressive than ever.) He then realized that students will be more scared of him so he feels chill keeping the face like that (unless he needs to rest or pretend to be nice so he had to turn his face "normal" without letting no one see his terrifying face.) And goes to his voice too. His voice goes deep or glitchy.

✧ ┊• Krupp is a human in this au- the only reason why his face looks like that is because Melvin accidentally shot him with his new invention so um let me explain instead

Melvin's intention was to make a teacher smarter since the substitute teacher (Jerry) is getting on his nerves and didn't understand why he's working there so he built the "SmartyyChanger200" and decided to show it to his principal.

Krupp like a total fucking idiot he is in the damn show decided to grab it from Melvin's hands and wanted to see if it can heat up anything- Melvin's got mad and tried to get it back- it was like a silly ass tug of war except they were fighting over the invention and pulling it back and forth until it slipped out and Melvin accidentally pressed something that caused the SmartyyChanger2000 to shot his principal in the face. NOTHING bad happened to Krupp, he got unconscious by it, and idk what else. Melvin thought it didn't shoot him so he shrugged it off and left the office to test it on Jerry.

Krupp did NOT turn into a vampire like Jessica, or a random creature (or monster) that happened to some other people like Mr. Fyde and others. He simply woke up and thought he fall asleep on the floor.

And it took him a few weeks to turn him into a villain since his mind or well his "brain" was developing and functioning. And it was before he murder his first victim, Ms. Hurd. (Well I have spoiled the au for y'all)

- his IQ is similar to Melvin's except it's worst than smart. Aggressively smarter than an average staff so far. 🧍‍♀️

✧ ┊• He's a walking red flag ! ! (Pls be aware of that LMFAO💀💀)

✧ ┊• Not only does he change his face (or appearance) he is capable of breaking things. Whether it is wood, bricks, or any sort of material he will get through them just like he did on the 2nd episode of the 1st season 👁👁 and this motherfucker fits on the damn vent. Don't even ask me- um...I don't know how to explain the logic of this one. 🗿

✧ ┊• Unlike the show (well the original Mr. Krupp), this Krupp seems smart and knowledgeable. However, he does everything to avoid getting caught which it was a success for him.

✧ ┊•GP! Krupp has also developed an obsession with murder and cooking stuff. Although he's taking a break from guacamole and salami, he enjoys trying new things and using some of his "special ingredients" for the food. Of course, he even used the ingredients to serve the WHOLE school without letting them know what they are eating is human flesh and mea-  OH FUCK I MEAN UM very cool ingredients!! Um..yeah cool....???

Yeah so epic..umm GP!Krupp will always hide the ingredients and keep it a secret without letting a single student or staff know except for Melvin. He is forced to work with Krupp and knows exactly about the "special ingredients". 👁👁💦 and that's how he gets rid of the bodies.

And he does NOT eat human meat. I mean unless he wants to make a trip-tip roast for himself and get it from the body- (and using blood as a silly dip for the French fries who fucking knows -)

꒷︶໑꒦₊꒷꒥︶꒥꒷︶‧₊˚ଓ︶꒷꒷꒦꒥໑꒷੭︶︶꒥

✧ ┊• Although people would call him Benjamin or Benny, he prefers to be called Ben for short. But hey he still doesn't mind being called by his real name or any weird nicknames.

✧ ┊• GP!Krupp still has a soft spot for his nephew, Kipper. Our dear buddy Kipper is UNAWARE of his uncle's gruesome behavior, he simply wanted to visit him and GP!Krupp had to hide some corpses in his cellar and lock it in case his nephew tries to get in without his permission. He does not wanna upset and scare Kipper if he lets him witness the things he had done to the people.

✧ ┊• He hates everything that is around him, why of course just like the original Krupp. He hates children and stuff that is associated with "fun" but there are other things that he hates the most; loud sounds/noises and possums. It's not like he seems like a weakness or anything

✧ ┊• And speaking of weaknesses, he does have some that are strange but maybe silly such as:

- Loud noises? (air horn, kids laughing, giggling, and TV statics.)

- Bee sting

- Anything associated with "cuteness" and "adorable" themes

- Children (from kindergarten to 3rd grade)

"Is he really that scared of children? really?" Not really but when it comes to kids who are in kindergarten, it makes him sick in the stomach and personally scared- and there's a little good example

💕•example: Heidi

You may ask yourself what she has anything to do with this part. Well, you see, since Heidi is very small and childish like the other kids from kindergarten, somehow managed to make GP!Krupp more uncomfortable around the children. Sure, he also wanted to get rid of her to see Harold's reaction, but unfortunately, Heidi makes it more difficult and uneasy for GP!Krupp to kill her. She would also give him some small hitting, kicking, and punches when she's angry at him- soo GP!Krupp would easily give up and ignore her instead of killing her.

꒷︶໑꒦₊꒷꒥︶꒥꒷︶‧₊˚ଓ︶꒷꒷꒦꒥໑꒷੭︶︶꒥

✧ ┊• His relationship with others isn't that bad, some of the relationship (well friends or exes idfk)

- George and Harold: a disaster. He will end up killing them for sure

- Staff members: holy shit, I don't know! Krupp is aware one of them will backstab him and escape

- Toilette & Jerry: a pain in the fucking ass. Krupp seriously wanna fucking kill them so badly mostly Jerry. Jerry is the other reason why Krupp had enough of being patient meanwhile Toilette is a fucking scumbag to Krupp. I mean they have a valid reason to hate his guts but dear lord. Just them fighting seem silly and weird.

- Edith [1st ex]: OHHH....this is getting fire....ummm...- Krupp's 1st relationship wasn't terrible. Edith is kind and sweet but since Krupp fell for Ms. Yewh then they broke up but that doesn't mean they will be friends or anything. They will meet up again except Edith knows exactly what he did after Tara/Ms. Ribble explained the situation um shut.

-Ms. Yewh [2nd ex]: YIKES.. big ass dumpster fire. After breaking up with Edith, he found out Ms. Yewh and Toilette aren't together so uh Krupp took the time to date her for once- weeks or months has passed and they broke up. Oops. Which I don't know if Ms. Yewh will be next dead victim or the alive ex. Who knows. I don't wanna spill the info 💀

- Melvin: oh boy....this poor little bastard...damn... I would say his relationship with him isn't that good, I would say it's very toxic. Krupp ALWAYS sees him as a son to him but he enjoys harming him in the physical, verbal, and emotional ways to get his anger out. Sure Melvin may be an assistant or teacher's pet but he is more than that. A source of entertainment and a punching bag to his principal. cuz that's how his mom (Bernice) treated him when he was a kid and since Krupp sees Melvin like a son and not a student like he used to, probably he would do the same to him, giving Melvin trauma and PTSD on purpose (haha um get it? Mother and son moment? No? Ok, that was too far my bad.)

🧠 || ꒷꒦︶🦴︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶🦴︶꒷꒦ || 🧠

✧ ┊• He cares about his job, image, and reputation a lot. If a staff member witnes a tragic event and tries to spread the information, GP!Krupp will eliminate the staff. And you may ask how will he do that. Simple MURDER- *COUGH* FUCK *COUGH* - damn too many gory eliminations? Yeah, how unexpected and silly of him.

✧ ┊• He despite Jerry a lot with a burning passion. Even tho he didn't have the chance to kill him but still. He's still thinking about getting rid of him as well once he gets rid of George and Harold.

✧ ┊• SUSSY SUS AMOGU- I MEAN I MEAN. He makes sure to keep everything hidden- ummm he still wants his rule book to be safe so uh yeah he still owns the damn "safe".

✧ ┊• "Fuck you, I can't stop it's so satisfying!!!" -GP!Krupp

✧ ┊•Like I said GP!Krupp would see Melvin as a son and still treats him terribly. But deep down inside he has a soft spot for him as well. Since Melvin is his assistant or his son figure, he always teaches him some stuff in case if GP!Krupp gets himself arrested or ends up disappearing from his life.

Teaching the kid some stuff like:

- how to use the surveillance camera

- drawing symbols and codes (?)

- attacking/harming others

- hunting random people or animal (which went fucking wrong cuz Melvin bit Jessica's arm and ripped her skin from her arm like a fucking animal which made Krupp proud as hell.)

Which of course GP!Krupp doesn't regret doing that, after all he ALWAYS wanted to raise Melvin like he wad his son so he took the whole "Fuck Adoption center" into a whole level and kept Melvin with him without letting hid parents know.

And of course. Sometimes he has to keep his eyes on him but hey! He knows what to do with him when he gets the chance to adopt him in the new way possible- even tho he might end up using him for his gruesome tasks or silly father-and-son moment stuff..👁👁

꒷︶໑꒦₊꒷꒥︶꒥꒷︶‧₊˚ଓ︶꒷꒷꒦꒥໑꒷੭︶︶꒥

✧ ┊• what the dog doi- I MEAN AHEM. GP!Krupp is pan *cough* *cough* or poly

✧ ┊• He makes random codes for fun just to show signs that he's messing with you. Yep he does troll everyone so don't expect him to do something unquestionable.

✧ ┊• "I AM MORE THAN A GOD...A FUCKING MOUNTAIN! HOOGA!"

Goofy ahh move

That's all pls don't cancel me this took me 4 days to make this garbage 🗿🗿 grrahhh-

[zorkaya-moved]

Morning, besties. Ya girl is back from her hiatus 1 day early, but only to update y'all beautiful souls about what's going on.

Did u miss seeing me and Zarina on ur dash (say yes 🔪)? ;)

I had the time to just chill out, concentrate on my real life, and understand that I'll be doing some things differently. I over-hoarded drafts and asks. Every year this happens, and I just never fucking learn, but I'll try to take my time to sort out everything. This means that I'll be looking through my endless list of drafts and finally replying to them (thank u brain for finally working).

I have a queue prepared to start tomorrow until 17-18th for now. It's 3 posts per day, but I'll keep it to 2 posts per day after 18th of March. I'll be absent today as well, even though I came back but it's like... Update-update. Still not going to reach out regarding plots because I'm still not back with those thoughts and ideas.

If YOU have ideas for plotting, through them at me!

It was SOOOOO NICE to take a break from Tumblr and just? Play games? Read books? Just vibe. Also re-connect with some of Zarina's personality traits that I've let to float around. Now, thanks to PTN, I finally understand how to write some of Zarina's apathetic sides and it made me super happy. I'll also post some of the metas I finally sat down to write. I just might continue this type of existence for the whole month of March due to how much I need to do.

I probably will be giving myself like week-long rests without Tumblr on my phone. I'll probably still take a bit of a long time to rest and not really communicate with anyone yet because I still feel like I need a bit more time there. I'm still playing games but I'm also especially busy this month (graduate school registrations, essays, recommendation letters, applying, all of that jazz). 'Cuz of that I'll probably full-on rely on queue. And yes, I wrote things over my hiatus because I just cannot leave my girl alone lmao. Thank u Google Docs for existing.

Hope y'all are safe. I've got things already queued. Today's gonna be a busy work day, and I've got a call with one of the universities before my application to ask some questions, yahoo! Have a fantastic day. Just know that the activity will only be continued through queue for now. I'll also try to limit my ooc posting because I think the amount that I posted made ME overwhelmed as well since I want to have more IC content to interact with people and not make others feel like I forgot or worse. I really was burnt out and I'm sorry if I hurt anyone, made them feel forgotten, or I made them annoyed with my activity/words/ooc posts.

I still struggle with replying to people socially/ooc-ly even in real life, but I'll try to do better. Over the course of my previous job, I was over-stressed but I also... lost touch with many people. And I didn't chase them because, yes, I didn't keep in touch and it was my fault. However, I will do my best to not let this happen again. I cannot promise anything as I still do not have stability in my life (and didn't have for the last, what, 5 years?) and I cannot make any definity promises. I promise to do better, but that's all I can do. And I will do my fucking best.

Oof, thanks you for reading this! Take care of yourselves. I'm gonna try to concentrate on drafts instead of asks these days because that's how active interactions go and I want to interact. Let's fucking go!!

[jovenshires]

I know you’re on a break but after that last incorrect quotes I would love it if you could give your thoughts on which glee characters everyone else would get, cuz you were so right with Sam for Spencer

My thoughts are; Blaine for Angela, Quinn for Courtney, Brittany for Olivia, Sebastian for Tommy, Santana for Chanse, and Marley for Kimmy

DLNAFLKNFKLNFKLNRKL this is so funny bc i debated on who to make him for forever and i was worried that sam was my fave so i was just being biased but im glad it went over well xxx i did check in with my bestie before drafting it and she confirmed sam made most sense.

hmmmm excellent q!! i am putting all these thoughts under the cut just so im not raw glee posting on the dash LNSDKNFKLN

this was. SO MUCH harder than i thought it was gonna be okay LKNDNAKFNKL this may be nonsensical and for some of them i simply don't give a concrete answer bc ykw. idk!

olivia is SOOOOO brittany-coded oh my GOD. marley for kimmy just smacked me in the face with how real that is. and quinn-courtney......... yEAH you're so correct. i gotta text my bestie shes gonna freak. her favorite Blonde Girlies. i do love all of these though!! i might personally make some tweaks but i TOTALLY see where you're coming from on all of them

i do like chanse as santana.... but i might switch arasha to santana instead?? just makes sense for the queen of lies imo. the medical examiner feels so santana-coded especially. might shift chanse to kurt bc he can also be a bitch but he's so much more ambitious than that. although it's a Tough call bc i feel like chanse fits both BUT who else would arasha be...

on blaine (and im talking seasons 2-3 blaine bc thats my baby and they cant take him away from me) i do like angela but i am caught between her and damien. it's the Most theater-kid energy of all the glee characters and they are the Most theater-kid energy of all the smosh members. yeah im not 100p sure what Else to do with either of them so that's just a sub note. unsure on that one !

anyway additional thoughts: jackie might be tina-coded?? hopeless romantic, extremely emotional, low-key diva when she wants to be, incredibly talented and they didn't deserve her. again im talking 1-3 tina. they hated her after that for some fucking reason. and on that note shayne is mike im taking no questions at this time. level-headed, smart, not a singer, just here to be a lil guy. yeah.

i think im gonna go with amanda as rachel. lovingly. SO lovingly. all the silliest rachel moments. i could see a couple different people as her (i think angela is also good here but she's too okay with being wrong/the butt of the joke, and then i think my second choice is tommy) but yeah i think amanda is my top pick. and then i might be so controversial as to say ian is finn-coded. just some guy. team leader. everyone's dad. just seems like he would have things to say about grilled cheesus. and anthony is jesse st. james. goodbye. that's all. these three are THE love triangle moment.

kiana is mercedes. why? because i said so. above it all, incredibly talented but underrated. (also im not thinking too hard ab the relationship implications but that does make the samcedes dynamic SO fucking funny.) and keith is artie. it's the 'wheres my hug at' guy of it all. its okay i like artie im allowed to bully him and i Love keith so

i do like sebastian for tommy and ya know what. im tempted to agree and leave it there bc i feel like thats as kind to him as i can possibly be KLNFFKLN but i struggled with placing him anywhere else... he could be rachel i think (and then amanda would move the whole paradigm. i would make her sue for funsies.) but i think that's All i can see him as. and then trevor is. rory. bc i have a hyperfixation on rory and trevor Is the rory in my head. so there.

aaaaand garrett IS mr. schuester. that's all goodbye

[rasp-passion-tea]

A small (big) update/catch-up post for anyone curious on where I've been and where I'll be:

*rides in on a skateboard with sunglasses and a mocktail in hand* yo

The past couple of years, I've been pretty M.I.A. I'd feel bad if I'd have any remaining folks who cared about me are left in the dark (as much as that anxious part of me will try to convince myself otherwise, I did build genuine connections on here 🥰). There also just might happen to be old inactive friends of mine who might randomly wonder where that random raspberry girl on tumblr ended up only to come back to see that she might've disappeared,,, or been sold on the dark web 🧐. There could also be any eventual new people to our small community to wonder that. So y’know what 🤔 I'll keep a little post up top so people can know (also, it'd be nice to give a speech once more to my imaginary audience c:)

With that said, I'll ramble about sum up under the cut:

So, where ya been, Rasp?

Well, to start things off, I'm doing really good :D looking back, I might've given people the vibe I was majorly depressed and that might've woried some people 🥲 it was never anything major, but I was still dealing with some teenage girl stuff, and this blog and ship and the fanbase I joined because of it became my mini safe spot. Simply put, I didn't have any sources to be able to properly word that to. I have that now and feel much more grounded and capable, and that's all I could've wanted years ago :)

You might've already guessed, but I've been busy lately, with adult stuff specifically. Yup, the fandoms resident little sister is grown now. She's working!! And she's in college!!! Wow!!1! I HAVE BASICALLY NO MORE FREE TIME!!!!!!!11! :DDD That, and a bunch of other reasons have made it harder to focus on one thing at a time, which is why I've been pretty scarce on this app, and online on general.

Soooo how ya been then, Rasp?

Uhhh... good question. Fine, I suppose 😗 kinda just existing right now. I have a feeling a lot of that has to do with me being unmediacted at the moment, so I haven't been able to do a lot of the things I love the past few years. Sooo... if you're wondering why I never posted those fics I teased in the past, that's why 🥲 I have a feeling I will one day, though. Just a matter of time. Speaking of, let's go into my last point:

Does that mean you're abandoning this account, Rasp?? ☹️

Mmm not quite. I've been popping in every couple of months, and I might keep doing that. But I definitely won't be as active as I used to. Couple reasons:

I mentioned a lot of reasons why, but I've been. Very busy 🥲 being online hasn't been at the forefront of my mind lately, so I've decided to not stress about it right now. Like I mentioned before, I'd like to come back to all this one day, but that's not now. Speaking of:

As much as I feel bad saying this, once the show ended, the ship and its fandom got really quiet. For me that makes it harder to participate in things if there's not a large community. I've joined other fandoms cuz of that, but not like this one... this fandom was special...... *looks off into the distance*

Bonus reason that ties into the last one: a lot of my friends are inactive with me not having any way to reach out, and that makes meeee very sadddd 😔 So if anyone I've met happens to see this:

...heyyy 🤪 I hope you got something out of this post,,,, like I said before, I'm unmedicated and have been very scatterbrained recently, but I tried to make this as cohesive as possible 😭 guess to end this off I'll link some other socials:

My side blog: rasp-passion-two

(Also pretty inactive on there, but if you wanna see what I've been into lately, that's the spot (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I'm pretty sure I never ended up sharing it fsr lol)

My discord: rasp-passion tea#5877

(I'm not active in servers anymore cuz I think I grew out of using discord, but if you wanna chat? Let's chat (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ we could also do it on here but vsiwjsisvqisgwu)

...that's it lol. I think I'm kind of an enigma on here now, but thats alright. Uhhhh not sure how to "close" this off, so I guess I'll just say: if you read this whole thing?

🤍🖤🩶

^me rn

I'll see you all when I see you, but I'll always be here!!

~Tayah, AKA Rasp (and yes, it's pronounced "Razz" 😤👋🏽)

[rainewriter3]

[Posting this now cuz I might as well]

This chapter is about 2,000 words or so, so it's a decent read

TW: Blood, death, mentions of throwing up

1: A Sight To Behold

    Cesar was sitting in an almost empty train that was making its way into a little space in Wisconsin called Mandela County. He closed his eyes. He had been out of state for about a week and he was looking forward to going home. His mother was waiting back at home and he didn't want to leave her alone for any longer. But something didn't feel right. Something felt wrong, very wrong. 

    Wouldn't his mom have called him by now, even just to check in on him. What's even more is that she wouldn't even answer his calls. And when he tried reaching out to his good friend, Mark, he wouldn't pick up either. 

    Cesar glanced out the window, watching as soft, green hills rushed by and large fields emerged behind him. His worry had found a place in his stomach and was tying it up in knots. The only comfort was that maybe he was simply too far for the connection to reach. 'Yeah', Cesar reassured himself, 'that's it'. 

    Cesar felt his eyes begin to close and he realized he hadn't slept since he got on the train. He slid more comfortably into the seat and let sleep take hold of him.

    There was a bump and Cesar felt himself leave the seat. He clung to the back of the seat, before sliding back into his previous position. He blinked back the grogginess and looked down the aisle. Not a person in sight.

    Cesar sighed, relieved no one saw  what he felt was an embarrassing occurrence. He reached over to the window and pulled it up, his fingers slipping on it momentarily. He sat up, pulling his head out the window. The wind raced into him and smacked him as it passed. His white jacket billowed in the wind like how they do in movies on tv. Cesar squinted his eyes to see what was ahead. He could make out the subtle presence of the town he called his home. And soon he could pick out the train station they were heading for, little specks in distance.

    A tap on his shoulder caused him to look over his shoulder. A short lady who, very noticeably by her uniform, worked on the train. "Please keep your windows closed, and keep you head out of it-" Cesar lowered his head from the window. "-thank you" and with that she tottered off into the next section of the train, the clicking of her heels echoing through the hall. The last thing Cesar saw of her was her light blue scarf as she vanished.

    Cesar pulled down the window and sat back down in his seat. There was nothing to really do, at least besides read the newspaper sprawled across his table. Or at least he could if he hadn't already read it. He had looked through the news, read an unlucky story of someone who was caught scamming customers at their store, winced past the police report on some recent murders, and read the comic strips a couple times through.

The lady from before emerged from the door she had left in. Cesar lifted his hand to get her attention, “Hey, do you know how close we are to the next stop?” 

The lady, who’s ginger hair was puffy and caught his attention, simply slid her hair away from her shoulders and said, “Can’t be too much longer” Then she was gone. 

Cesar slumped his shoulders impatiently, perhaps he should use this time to plan on what he’d do next. He’d get off on the next stop and- The train pulled out of halt. Confused, Cesar sat up from his seat. The lights flickered and eventually decided that they didn’t want to work. The train was plunged into darkness, swallowing every inch in a flash. He blinked, making out the faint silhouettes of objects as he made his way across the train. 

Eventually he made it to the very front, “Hey, anyone there?” He called out, hoping for a response. But the only sound that came was a faint, staticy screeching sound. Almost like nails on a chalkboard. “H-hello??” He jumped as the lights illuminated the aisles once more and he caught himself holding the eye contact of the conductor. The conductor smiled and shooed Cesar back to his seat. “We just had a bit of a electricity problem, train’s getting old I suppose. Nothing to worry about, just you sit and wait” The conductor checked the watch on his wrist, “Already behind on schedule, well I cannot delay much further. Farewell sir” The man rushed off leaving Cesar even more confused than before. 

What had that been about? If the power’s going out due to age, then who knows what could also happen? Why wasn’t he concerned, Cesar knew he himself was plenty concerned? Or more, unnerved. But he tried to pay it no mind and looked out the windows once more.

Cesar stepped out of the train, glad to be back on solid ground. The sun was bright in his face and there was hardly any clouds. Today would be a good day, Cesar hoped. Cesar tightened his grip on his black suitcase, just to make sure he didn’t lose it. 

He was glad to see the familiar streets that he had left behind, treading the familiar route to his house. There were people minding their own business going on jogs, he spotted an elderly couple sitting on a bench together, some kids playing basketball on the curb. 

The street curved like a snake and as Cesar rounded the corner, he picked up his pace as he caught sight of the snug house he called home. He imagined his mother waiting for him, they would catch up and Cesar would offer to help make dinner. Something nice, just for the two of them. Like they always did. He could imagine the table all set up and they’d sit and talk and eat as if he never left. 

He just about leaped onto the porch. But his thoughts were interrupted by the sight of the door hanging open, the inside of the house dark. The lights were off but her car was still here so his mom couldn’t have left. And if she had just gone to take a nap then she surely wouldn’t leave the door open. 

Cesar rushed into the house and switched on the light, his hands stumbling in search of it. The blood in his body ran cold at what he saw. There lay his mother, lying in a puddle of blood. Her limbs were strewn across the floor and her face was frozen with a look of shock. She lay on her stomach and there was a large stabmark in her back, the source of the blood that had ceased to pool below her body. Cesar covered his mouth, he felt like throwing up. He wobbled and fell to his knees. It felt like a giant weight was being pressed against him, forcing him onto the floor. Tears swelled in his eyes, blurring his vision. He didn’t want to look at her, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away. He let out a sob as tears rolled down his cheeks. He became aware of something soaking into his jeans and he looked down to see the knees of his pants stained dark red. 

Cesar sat like that for what felt like eternity, sobbing pathetically and shaking. Cesar looked around the hall, his eyes landing on the rotary phone sitting on a small table. He stumbled over to it, grabbing the phone and setting it to his ear sloppily. He stared at the numbers through his tears and slowly typed in Mark’s number, he needed someone to comfort him. Someone, anyone to be there for him. He didn’t think he could do be alone any longer. But no one answered. Cesar set down the phone, sliding down against the table. He covered his face in is hands, his knees pressed to his chest. The only things he could muster up were his muffled cries. His chest hurt. He felt like he was going to throw up. He jittered as he lifted his head up at last. 

Time had gone by, Cesar could see that the sun was starting to set through the open door, but he knew he hadn’t been there too long. He pulled himself off the ground, using the table he was leaning on. He stepped outside, fresh air battered him from all sides but it didn’t feel like it was fresh. In fact it only felt more suffocating. Cesar looked down at himself.  His jeans were stained red in spots, mainly his knees. He was shaking and he felt unstable. Like he had forgotten how to walk. His eyes were red from crying and tears still hung from his face. The image lingered in his mind as he wandered down the street. 

He needed to……Cesar stopped, what did he need to do? Cesar couldn’t think of it, what could he even do? He was weak, and nothing could bring his mom back. Nothing was worth anything, nothing would help him.

And it was then, that the only thing he could think of was how nothing he’d do mattered. His mom was dead, and it was all his fault. He should’ve never left her, he should’ve at least came back early. Maybe then his mother would still be alive. If he had been there to save her…

He stopped, clenching his fists. He was out of tears but that didn’t stop the pain in his chest, or the nausea, or the sinking guilt that was filling him head to toe. The fact of the matter was that he’d never see his mom smile again, or laugh, or joke. He never even got to see her greet him at the door. Now the only thing that greeted him was the click of a gun as it was pointed at him.